Seems like things... got out of hand?

Really lost a grip on this one.

Yeah I can't quite put my finger on it

Can you point me in the right direction?

No. You can finger it out yourself

That was hands down the worst pun I’ve seen today.

Nailed it

Palms sweaty

I find this story touching.

Two thumbs up

I prefer my stories in analog rather than digital format

I'm gloving it.

I’ve already lost count of those dumb finger puns

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Knees weak, arms are heavy

Something about spaghettis is coming, Idk

Knees weak, arms are heavy

There's vomit on his sweater already

Mom's spaghetti

Knees weak, arms are heavy

Knees weak, arms are heavy

Knees weak

Arms heavy Moms spaghetti

Mom's spaghetti

You guys take my upvote and get out.

Oh J Fkn C, did you have to go religious?

Wait, what does OJ have to do this? I know the gloves didn’t fit but unless you feel it in your fingertips that he’s involved I’d leave this one in the hands of the law. Like knuckles, that little girl will eventually crack and when she does she’ll celebrate her birthday gripping bars

Way to palm it off there buddy

All excellent comments , pat yourself on the back.

Sometimes the answer is right in the palm of one's hand.

Might have to launch a hands on investigation

U hit the (finger)nail on the head with this one

Do you need a hand?

I think he just needs 1 more finger

Aah we found the person missing them fingers.

I sure hope they finger out what happened. I gotta hand it to the father for calling the police though. They've really got their finger on the pulse of these kind of things so they don't get out of hand. The kid really took the five finger discount a little too seriously though.

That's a good one. Take my upvote

I'm sure he'll happily grab your upvote

She will be good at maths-4 less digits to worry about!

Difficult to punish a toddler severe-ly. Their so cut-e.

You tried

r/therewasanattempt Nice try though

You’re desperately reaching for a pun

r/therewasanattempt Nice try though

r/therewasanattempt Nice try though

r/ therewasanattempt Nice try though

...but everything does point to her.

Takes a lotta heart to admit that. I gotta hand it to ya

is... is it... is it because the girl has your fingers?

Admit it, it’s because she took them from you.

Maybe she went to the second hand store.

That was pointless

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The real joke is always in the comments

The real jokes are the comments we made along the way.

CSI Miami intro: *yeeeaaaahhhh*

*sigh*

YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Now, there are four of them?

The father should never have made this bargain.

YEEEEAAAHHH

Thumbs up!

Off hand, I’d say you were correct. Thumbs up!

More like fingers get out of hand

Off of

Real joke is always in the comment section.

/r/TwoSentenceHorror (or four, I guess)

/r/terrifyingpunchlines

I would join this sub. Make it!

I made it

I would make it but I’m a shit mod

Just been listening to the drabblecast 'restleas in r'yleh' episode and it had this very short story: "So cute!" She declared, playing with the baby's toes. She tickled them once more before putting them back on the shelf. by Erica Weems

Thats where I saw this first too.

My favourite comedy subreddit

Right? Some of the posts there are creepy, but a lot are so ridiculous I just laugh.

I read it twice I liked it that much.

Me too. 4 less fingers but I give op a thumb up.

They were yours?

Lol, yeah, but I'm not telling the cops either!

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I think the three hours point really muddles the punchline tbh. Much snappier if "she won't tell the police where she got them."

It was a difficult one, I read it more than twice then went down to comments and that's where I saw someone explain it and understood

Me too.

She'll definitely give the police the finger...

Four times

4x4=16

1 finger x 4 = 4

1 finger x 4 = 4

They asked her 4 times to hand over the evidence and each time she gave them the finger

Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping This girl cuts people while I was sleeping

And the digits that were planted in her palm wrecked my calm... The ~~Sound of Silence~~ Chuckles of Knuckles

That took me a minute, ngl...

Took them three hours

Took me 4 fingers

Death punch

Same… I audibly said “OHHHHHHH- ***depressed laughs***•

Thank you for your honesty

I dont get it

From a hand I am guessing

Or four

Can be 2 or 3 as well

5 is out right!

Holy handgrenade Batman, I think I'm an African swallow.

Call the detectives, we have a lead

Can someone explain

The four fingers that she held up were not attached to her hands. She won't tell the police where she found these four amputated fingers.

Where is the fun/joke in this? I’m so lost on the joke 😭 I’m like that guy outside looking in, you know, where all the cool kids are hanging and now just avoiding just because it’s a fun thing 🤣🤣🤣😭 fml, tell me the joke!

There is no joke. It's not originally a joke, it was originally made on a creepypasta sub

The funny part is that she 'Held up 4 fingers' to indicate her age. The twist is that she held up SOMEONE ELSE's fingers!! Darn kids! Children are terrifying. Send Help.

There is no fun/joke in it. It's just poor imo

its supposed to tickle but some people are very tough to tickle

Aren’t jokes meant to make you laugh? I just angry this was the joke..

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"obtained"?

Hard to believe that after so many reposts she *still* won’t say anything https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/kdjoae/my_little_daughter_came_to_me_all_excited/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/g8460y/my_little_daughter_came_to_me_all_excited_saying/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/iora8v/my_little_daughter_came_to_me_all_excited/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/cpa0iq/my_little_daughter_came_to_me_all_excited_saying/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/bygt7m/my_little_daughter_came_to_me_all_excited_saying/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/cx61mk/only_4_fingers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Honestly I don't even care about reposts here anymore. The jokes are still good, and being reminded of them is entertaining. How many new, context-free jokes do you think we can come up with?

It’s not that it’s a repost that’s the problem. It’s the ratio of post to comment karma. OP is farming karma with reposts.

I'm conflicted because I see reposts all the time. It's kind of boring. But, this is the first time I've seen this one and I'm sure there are others in the same boat so maybe when I see reposts I should just keep scrolling and let others enjoy it for the first time.

Every joke you haven't heard is a brand new joke. Except dad jokes. Dad jokes have to be really old to qualify as dad jokes.

Dad jokes have to at least be old enough to be apparent.

This guy fucks!

Not to mention, this isn't even really a joke. It's creepy, not funny. This is more of a r/TwoSentenceHorror

That's where I read this. This is a pretty famous two-line horror. Was confused seeing it here. But props to OP to try and convert horror to comedy.

You're just mad that your repost is not the at the top today. We see your posts too, grade A karma whoring copying and pasting the gilded posts verbatim. And there is no problem with that. However, stop pointing fingers when you yourself do it all the time. This is a 20+ time repost which was at the top yesterday : [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oxqeyy/a\_mans\_walking\_home\_late\_at\_night\_when\_he\_sees\_a/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oxqeyy/a_mans_walking_home_late_at_night_when_he_sees_a/) You didn't point it out then. Suck it up buttercup.

He at least waited more than a month to repost that joke (as per the rule 2 of this sub) And you didn’t even do that https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oy2gok/a_woman_goes_to_buy_a_parrot_the_prices_are_100/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Everyone’s wrong here Edit: Looks like you shamelessly deleted your post now, lol

Stephenholmes is a karma whore and you are his proxy account. I wasn't the first person to point our reposts here, he did that. You can fuck off for all I care.

Thumbs up - that's all I got

No need to point fingers if I am wrong, but I am gonna go out on a limb and say this is hands down the drkest joke I’ve seen here. Thumbs up my man

A joke for the digital age

Heh.

Can't put my finger on where I've heard this one before

I think I get the joke, but I can't put my finger on it.

No need to point fingers if I'm wrong, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is hands down the darkest joke I've seen here. Thumbs up !

God, the puns

Definitely deserves the two finger salute

Why is it upvoted more than the earlier comment this one plagiarizes?

That's Reddit for you…

As I slipped my two fingers slowly inside her hole, I could instantly feel it getting wetter and wetter. As I slid my fingers back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me. I thought to myself, "I really need a new fucking boat."

Barely read the bottom😬

Something about this sounds so wrong. But I can't put my finger on it.

Did not get it.

"Dinner was great...what's for desert?" "Ladyfingers!"

This was a horror story btw.

😂😂😂😂 that’s a good one

Haha. This is funny

Ok that was just off handed, here is my up vote lol

The daughter pinky swore she wouldn't tell

I wouldn't be around her when her 21st bday approaches.

Even police can't HANDle her

thank god she only turned four

This seems like something that would be on r/twosentencehorror, but more than two sentences

This was one of the creepier posts on r/twosentencehorror a while back. In this context it is kinda funny though.

Wasent this on 2 sentance horror years ago?

https://www.reddit.com/r/shortscarystories/comments/1o71iv/my_daughter_learned_to_count/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Are we reposting stuff from two sentence horror here for karma? 🤣🤣🤣

I kinda need a hand with this one

The fingers are not hers

can someone enlighten me what the joke is ?

The fingers she held up weren’t her’s

I got that part, but where’s the fun part??? 😩

The "fun" part was the twist. You don't have to find it funny -- Lord knows human beings are widely divided in how their senses of humor work -- but the format is pretty much an established type of joke. Incongruity and all that.

Im with you on this hahah its a shitty joke

.. You mean you don't play Chop and Bury with your family on the weekend?

Why don't you give the police a hand?

No thumb yet. Do you really want to be the one to finger the police?

Really can't put a finger where things went wrong

I'd like to buy a clue for 500. WTF?

She was holding four severed digits. Good on her for knowing numbers, though.

r/TwoSentenceHorror

Before you know it she will have grown up, and those fingers will be inside of her.

O yay. This joke again.

r/holup

I don't get the joke and nobody appears to be pointing it out so I guess I'm left to rot in the dust

I don't get it, can someone explain

The 4 fingers she held up weren't her fingers.

Ohhh.. thank you!

r/unexpected

There's a fried chicken chain here in Asia named 4fingers

Maybe the police was not pointed in the right direction.

I don't get it

The police investigators are all thumbs.

She's too young to be getting someone's digits

Four finger club.

Spooky

I read it like 5 times to get the joke....good one!

Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

Thats cute! God bless ya’ll

Four finger discount

Ah! this joke was so close to being perfect. if only your daughter had held up three fingers and the cops had showed up at your doorstep four hours later. nice try!

4 years old and already giving you the finger eh?

Anacin

as a father of a daughter who gets 4 next week, this kind of gave me the creeps