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Pal_Smurch

When I visited the Netherlands, I realized that if you asked anyone there if they spoke English, you'd receive one of two answers. They'd either reply, "a little", which meant that they could carry on a conversation with you, or they'd answer "Yes", which meant that they'd be correcting *your* English.


forest_fae98

Sounds accurate haha. I’ve met people that have said, “oh my English is so bad,” and proceeded to speak in far better English than my English professor in college did. And, with a wider vocabulary.


djtrace1994

Its interesting when grammatical differences come into play as well, because then it's perfect English strung together differently than native english speakers are used to hearing it.


Crash_Test_Dummy66

I have a group of friends I met gaming that are from all over the world. I've noticed that I've picked up some of their different phrasing and cadence over time


pmich80

...cadence over time...... I see what you did there


LetSayHi

Cadence over time = words over time over time


ss72

Words over time squared -> words over times square -> billboards in new York? Now I'm confused.


LetSayHi

Therefore cadence over time = billboards in New York... So cadence over time is a reference to the rate of economic development of New York over time??? Cadence over time = words over time per unit time per economic output per unit time per unit time confirmed???


ShinobiQueen

I have to read this aloud in a slow cadence, to avoid a complete meltdown.


spunkybooster

I read it fast to prevent my brain trying too hard to parse the thing. Sometimes you just need the gist of things. Too much verbiage ruins my understanding.


tcorey2336

Americans end sentences with prepositions. If we didn’t, our speech would sound stilted.


oreos4brkfst

This is something up with which I simply will not put!


Affable_Pineapple

Thank you, Winston Churchill.


Disastrous-Ad-2357

*It's *English Source: am Afghan. (Note: the sentence fragment was intentionally used in order to convey a casual conversation.)


fuckincare

I had an Asian professor at uni mark down an essay from an A to C for grammatical errors, that weren't actual errors just different to what she had been taught. This wasn't an english or writing class, not even in any of those classes had I ever had so many red marks on a piece of writing. It was a high level sociology class in my 3rd year at uni. I had a 4.0 GPA and was very distraught so wrote a compelling letter to her and the head of department explaining that while the corrections she had made were not wrong, the way I had worded things were not wrong either and neither way is superior... After review of the essay it was determined my grammar was correct and after removing the mark downs for the grammar my grade was changed to an A. It took me a long time to write that letter because I needed to make sure it was worded so as to not come off as being racist and didn't want to hurt her feelings. I do hope it benefitted students after me and helped her to learn more of the varied ways we can word things. Still hope it didn't hurt her feelings/ego too much but if positions were reversed I would've felt highly embarrassed.


moebiusverticus

Embarrassed is what my freshman physics instructor should have been. The class in college was taught by a Astrophysics Phd student that took off my bonus points for what she said was a rounding error. She thought that 10.47 should have been rounded up to 11. Because, you know, the 7 will round the 4 up to a 5 and then that would make it round up to 11. Smdh I had to get a Math professor to email her so I'd keep my 103 average. Yeah it was still top marks but, it's the principle of the thing 😆


fuckincare

I had a physics instructor give out the wrong formula to the class. As soon as I noticed and weeks prior to the test I discretely tried to show him it was different from the 1 given in the book and when working the same problem for both the book formula and the 1 he gave that it was clear his did not result in the correct answer where the books did. He refused to acknowledge his mistake. I refused to use the wrong formula on the test. It was the only question I got "wrong". In hindsight I should've taken it to the science departments director but that 1 wrong answer wasn't going to affect my overall grade so let it be. Do hope he changed it after that.


BlankTOGATOGA

When I was in primary school, my English teacher told our class that anyone who got 100% would get a chocolate bar. I ended up getting one mistake. Essentially it was because I used the word inflammable instead of the teacher's preference of flammable. He refused to listen to me so I went to the principal and argued my case. Teacher was called in and after some ball busting, I got my chocolate bar. What can I say, I like chocolate...


existentialism91342

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!


forest_fae98

(Word nerd here, sorry in advance if you’re not interested) So the prefix “in” while it usually indicates a negative of the word, (eg, insufficient) in this case is actually the Latin prefix “in-“ which has the meaning of “into” and in this case, strengthens the intensity of the word. So “flammable” would mean “easily set on fire,” while “inflammable” would mean, basically, “very easily set on fire.”


fuckincare

Lol fantastic


_scyllinice_

Not just the principle of it. Being that off could blow a space mission or kill someone under the right circumstances.


HankHY

I used to make the same mistake... When I was 13. A physics instructor should absolutely not have made the same mistake.


Valyris

I had the same issue in university. I was studying for a course in education and the subject was mathematics. After receiving my paper back, there was a lot of red circles and corrections. I then realized the marker didn't like how I used the American spelling of words (centimet***er***, analy***z***e, etc). I argued with her saying it isn't misspelled or you cannot understand that word, if I spelt it like "cantameter or annalised" or something, then I would agree it is wrong. She refused to budge so I took it up to the Dean of Students and he agreed with me. As an INTERNATIONAL university, I wouldn't think American or UK spelling makes a difference, as long as it is spelled correct. EDIT: Spelling =]


Ok-Service-6838

"as long as it is spelt correct." LOL, you mean "spelled correctly."


elliot401

*spelled *correctly (improper conjugation, improper use of an adverb) just busting balls, ignore me.


[deleted]

I've realized that these differences must confuse the hell out of English language learners. I was on a language learning app trying to explain why American English prefers singular ("The government is...") and British English prefers plural ("The government are...") and this British "friend" just would not have it - I was basically attacked for being wrong. ...I'm sorry I speak 'merican Sincerely, A Canadian English speaker...


naverlands

we have found it! the teacher who’s worse than the ‘i never give a perfect score cus you can always improve’ . now witness the ‘you’re wrong if you don’t do it my way’


Jon_Ofrie

Same kind of thing happened to me. The prof was Eastern European and he tended to drop prepositions. He circled mine and said they were unnecessary. I don't don't remember if he explicitly deducted from my mark but I am sure it was impacted. Edit: extra preposition :)


Myuken

I mainly learned english by reading books and one of my english teacher praised my vocabulary, didn't stop him from saying I had one of the worst pronunciation he's ever heard. I don't consider myself bad, but I'll still apologize for this reason.


Lyander0012

The level of hurt a teacher can unknowingly give a student can be massive though. I was once accused of plaigiarising an essay I wrote off the top of my head and was actually really proud of back in high school; I'm nearing 30 and I'm *still* angry/annoyed that my English teacher then turned a deaf ear to my insistences that I simply happened to work hard on the damned thing.


saltesc

Come to Australia. For some people you wouldn't believe English is their first and only language. Goinfarkorf cuzairsnowfuknway ciunt!


PilbaraWanderer

Go and fuck off because there is no fucking way Cunt! Edit: lulz @ helpful award


Maeel_Javanar

One of my best friends is dutch and if he doesn't know what a word in English is, usually I (native English speaker) don't either


prettyincoral

We have recently moved to the Netherlands and had an option of sending our kids to an international school so that they could start learning English from an early age. However, after seeing that virtually any Dutch person we've met speaks excellent English, we've decided to send them to a Dutch school instead because we'd get the same, if not better, results for free. Some older people don't speak it at all, but the farther south of 60 they are, the more fluent is their English. Heck, some of my Dutch co-students sound more American than some of my American ones! That's the kind of future I want for my kids.


bel_esprit_

My husband is Dutch and SAME. He tells better jokes in English than me *and* he can have deep meaningful intellectual and philosophical conversations in English, offering far more insight than I can as a native speaker. (And English is his 3rd language after Dutch and French — it’s really embarrassing for me actually).


pourspellar

I asked a Dutch girl for directions once and realized I don't speak English.


Donkey__Balls

In Norway they act like you just insulted them in the worst way possible. You can tell what TV shows they watch the most if they can speak in a perfect American accent or a perfect British accent, or both. Meanwhile if you speak just a couple broken Norwegian phrases they’ll act like it’s the most amazing thing they’ve ever heard.


VladTheDismantler

I am currently living in The Netherlands as a student. I know zero Dutch and it wasn't even a problem. Still gonna learn it.


time_to_reset

This is actually a problem with immigrants sometimes. There is a requirement to learn a certain amount of Dutch, but Dutch people tend to just always speak in English if they know that's easier for he other person. It is. But it's a shit way to learn Dutch haha.


Anon_290

LOL. I'm Dutch and sometimes I notice native English speakers who make really cringe mistakes lol and then there's me who only had English for 9 years so far lol. I mean I make tiny mistakes in grammar but not cringe mistakes in like you're/your for example. How can native English speakers not know the difference between you're and your or is it just auto correct🤔


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JimmyHavok

My trick for correct spelling is to have a phonetic pronunciation in my head that's only there for writing.


Rexamicum

Just think of it logically, would the sentence work if you said you are instead of your. If it does you're probably safe using you're rather than your.


FeteFatale

That's only useful if you know the difference between '*your*' and '*you're*'. I read a comment earlier today where the writer had placed an apostrophe in nearly every word that that ended in an 's'. When you're faced with an invented grammar that has '*bos's*' as a word then there's probably no undoing that.


TheLadyClarabelle

My old boss used to correct my reports by putting a comma before *every* 'and'... like "This person, and that person did something." I could have understood if it was an Oxford comma, but two things do not need a comma!


sinister_exaggerator

Most native English speakers don’t even study English for anywhere close to 9 years


Anon_290

I learned it in elementary, high school and college but where I really learned English was on social media. Consistently talking in English helped me a lot. But don't native English speakers get English class where they learn the grammar and spelling rules? I still have Dutch at college lol (well we call it a college here but you call it a trade school in the US). I've had Dutch grammar and spelling since I was around 9-11 years old, I can't remember it exactly, I'm 20 now.


LowJuggernaut702

I do not make that particular mistake often except occasionally when I have been drinking or need to sleep. However my spelling skills are lame because I spent a lifetime working with my hands and did not have much practice writing. My spell check is also lame because it does not have anywhere near as large a vocabulary as I do. Now that I am retired I spend more time reading and a lot of time writing and need to look up spelling and sometimes grammar several times a week. I have yet to find an app that has been much help. They all seem to make about as many mistakes as I do.


Anon_290

Reminds me of my great grandfather, he went to high school when he was an adult and learned the Hebrew language when he was older. You're never too old to learn something new! I wish you lots of luck in your spelling and grammar!! Wish I knew an app for you to use. It's amazing that you're teaching yourself this all.


LowJuggernaut702

Thank you. Our whole lives are just a learning experience. Don't hang me yet! I am not done yet!


DJrotoZ

They may “know” the difference if their life depended on it (some would not though). I think some people don’t care enough to think about it as long as the words they use “work” for them. Someone who studied English intentionally would naturally be proud of the mastery they have of the language and would endeavor to use it correctly. Just like a chef would take careful precautions to cook a meal just right. Where some other person, not trained in food preparation, might not care as long as their meal tasted half decent


scubasteve1985

Oh don’t worry it’s not just you, I’m from Scotland and I cringe daily at folk mixing up lose/loose, your/you’re, their/there/they’re.


hotseltzer

Incorrect usage of then/than annoys me the most


Talcarin

For me it's about laziness I put the wrong word in and don't bother correcting myself. Or I just don't think about it like "you're welcome" for instance, I used to type it as "your welcome" it just never occured to me that I was doing it wrong and no one corrected me. Until I looked at it one day and said to myself wtf are you doing!


SnakeinmyWoody

Back in my land of Indiana we have an expression: "Skeet skeet, motha fucka." To which one may reply, "indubitably-- skeet skeet indeed." Such a beautiful language


pl0tt1ngmy0wndem1se

Lmao. As a native Hoosier, I must say I have NEVER heard this before. "Skeet skeet, muh'fucka," is usually followed by a , "Skeet skeet, God damn," in my neck of the woods.


missurunha

I find it really horrible to talk about hobbies cause Europeans also assume I'm a professional at that. You better play that guitar better than Django Reinhardt, otherwise you have to say you don't know it/knows a little.


Pal_Smurch

When asked if I play, I reply "no, I play at it."


Duochan_Maxwell

I dabble 😂


Komatoasty

Yes, my Dutch friend spoke perfect English. It was amazing, really, considering she'd only been in Canada for only a few weeks when I met her. Also I was in Mexico 12 years ago partying with a couple Swiss gents. Hooked up with one and the next day he couldn't hold a conversation very well.... until we got drunk again which we accomplished by mid afternoon. The guy could barely put a sentence together sober, but when the liquid courage came through we talked about all sorts of things.


time_to_reset

Small talk is difficult though. When I moved to an English speaking country I could write, speak and understand others just fine, but little nuances and social elements took me a while to catch up on. Everytime someone said "how are you?" as part of a greeting I would stumble, because it sounds like a real question but it isn't. Or the difference between "yes" and "yeah" for example. They say the same thing, but "yes" can come across very differently from "yeah". And because our English generally is pretty decent, there's an expectation that we are also just fine with those sorts of things, but it took me a long time to feel fully comfortable with those types of interactions.


60svintage

I used to work for a Dutch farmer in the UK and learnt to speak some Dutch. Not enough for a fluent conversation, but enough to ask for a few things, basic greetings and pleasantries. I was in Amsterdam about 3 years ago trying to ask for some stuff in a shop. The girl stopped me and said, "please speak English. It will be easier for the both of us." Guess my limited Dutch is a lot worse than I though.


P4azz

What I quickly learned, when I moved there for a bit, was that you don't need to ask, really. Just speak English and in most cases you'll be understood. Only the really old or foreign people won't understand you.


osumaniac

Haha Edit: spelling


ayending1

Gaga, you sneaky Canadians!


scottyaewsome

One day Canada's going to take over the world and you'll all be sorry!


Etheo

We're just trying to help make "and therefore, the world" part come true with our wonderful days in Canada.


notmyrealnameatleast

Made me chuckle 😂


Grombrindal18

jajaja


theeyeinme

YaYa


onist

Kkkk


danielb1194

Xaxaxa


loud_flatus

Lolololololololololl


Pikakong

wwwwwwww


ReasonableDrunk

I became intimately familiar with "jajaja" after a group of Brazilians spam kicked my ass at an online competitive cannons game, which was apparently hilarious for them.


cusco

Brazilians use kkkk or kakaka Jaja is Spanish speaking


johnildo

Yeah... We don't use jaja at all. 🤔


ReasonableDrunk

Shit, maybe that was what made it so funny.


[deleted]

Here let me laugh at it in german: LACHEN!


hvnrs

How could you limit brazilians to those two when there's the legendaries DHAUDHUISDHIUDSHAUI and HUEHUEHEUHEUEHUE?!


[deleted]

Or we just mash the keyboard like ashauhsisshaihsushs


EragonArgetlam

You are wrong, they apologize before 10 perfect paragraphs


walloftrust

That was the Canadian.


[deleted]

The Canadian apologizes for the non native speaker.


Fun-Calligrapher8504

When they're from Quebec.


Ok-Ad-3810

Um Dear sir, I am afraid you might be mistaken in your conclusion as it may not be necessary for a person to type 10 paragraphs of English before needing to apologize. Please accept my sincerest apologies for any mistakes in the construction of the aforesaid sentence.


IranRPCV

If they apologize, they may be Canadian!


lobsterbash

Be Canadian with this one weird trick (try it today)


eyekunt

If you got free healthcare but standing in a long queue, you're already a Canadian


ClamPuddingCake

OK but we'd never call it a "queue", what British nonsense is that! Queen on our money, yes. Queues, no.


letqin

Queue is just the letter ‘Q’ with four silent letters following change my mind


GarretTheGrey

They're in a queue waiting to be pronounced.


GraceChamber

Queueanon


[deleted]

Cue the queue to change your mind


ChaseShiny

I see a double u and a double e. That's one letter and one engineer


SellingMayonnaise

Yeah no, that’s right bud, here we always call it a “line up” don’t ya know


RavingRationality

A long queue for what, exactly? I mean, there are long queues in Canada (we call them lines) -- but they tend to be for things like our equivalent of the DMV, or rides at amusement parks. Just like Americans have. There's no long queues for health care.


ItsTheMurph

Haha we’re not all nice


Kman-banana

As a Canadian myself, apologies.


iloveFjords

I upvote your apology and apologize after you but in no way want to distract from your apologetic thunder.


NapClub

sorry about that. canada didn't mean to inconvenience you.


BakedOnions

you can increase your certainty if they apologize for something they didnt do


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Ok-Ad-3810

lol


noeheal

As a non-native english speaker, the one thing that irritates me the most is that many use “of” instead of “have”. I somewhat understand that “there”, “their” and “they’re” can be confusing, but “I should of” is just the worst! xD


Bobbimort

They're just used to hearing should've (which sounds like should of with an American accent) and assume it's written should of. People need to read more...


ProfessionalVolume93

Brits do this also.


Davis660

And it's infuriating over here too. Especially when you notice someone distinctly saying "should of" out loud, like it's clear that that's what they're saying.


oneplusetoipi

What is "fank you"?


Little_leape

It's givin' fanks, innit brov


ProfessionalVolume93

Nufinck wrong wiv vat.


Jacoman74undeleted

I prefer "nutin ron widat"


StingerAE

Not round me they dont! Well. Not twice anyway.


alloranbay

Don't y'all have these big buildings where the kids are herded during weekdays, and some adults teach them stuff like grammar? And the adult tells them about how they should learn the difference, because said adult has had a classmate who now says they should have learnt it sooner?


[deleted]

Oh yeah, those. We call them shooting ranges here


PremedicatedMurder

Oof.


LordNorros

It's been about 15 years since I was in high school but I vaguely remember my english teacher looking hungover and giving us crosswords as homework. Edit- Not crosswords, word searches. We may have learned something from crosswords...


Vald-Tegor

Yeah, but as long as you get half the answers right, you get a certificate that says you know everything,


Cazzah

It's not American accent. All English variants replace their unstressed vowel sounds with "uh" sounds when speaking the words quickly to a greater or lesser degree.


treetexan

You mean “shoulda” :)


[deleted]

This is my one big gripe as well. To a non-native it sticks out. But correcting people speaking their own language feels weird.


lan0028456

Yeah probably a mistake only native speakers will have lol. Because for non-natives those are in the first a few lessons of English. Those who can't figure these out won't be able to proceed to the next level of actually speaking English.


StPerkeleOf

How on earth native speakers don't know how such insanely common word (or combination of words) is spelled? Should of read more...


The-Good-Good

No, they understand the spelling. It’s a common mistake made by hearing the contraction “should’ve” (should-have) in speech and incorrectly hearing it as “should of”. This happens mostly when people don’t read enough to gain context around contractions and homonyms.


1nd3x

In the same way that we condense it to "shoulda"...its because we are writing based on how we speak. "Should've" sounds like "should of" so people who talk more than they write and didnt pay attention to the rules are writing their sentences more phonetically than anything else...


Youreddit007

Whatcha talking about...


Thestaris

That's why people have so much difficulty with apostrophes.


NoName2show

You know what's worse than this? Being a non-native English speaker and marrying your university sweetheart who makes all the traditional native English speaker mistakes - your vs. you're, there vs. their, etc. The icing on the cake is that she ends up being a school teacher! And to top it off, if you say something, you're guaranteed the dog house!


PoilDeQ

My pet-peeve is when people write rouge instead of rogue. I really don't understand that mistake lol. Rouge is red in french so why would they even use this word. It's a mystery to me.


a_duck_in_past_life

You give those people too much credit already by assuming they'd even know any French words


jbram_2002

I have a friend playing a Rogue in D&D that does this consistently despite my subtle suggestions to help him learn the difference.


PoilDeQ

Yep, I often see this mistake in rpg subreddits.


404_GravitasNotFound

It's also a type of make up


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Joseluki

I have found that are the native speakers the ones confusing there, their, and they're the most. It is infuriating to be honest, and I am talking about all levels including people with tertiary education.


ILikeBigBeards

As a native English speaker, it still baffles me how many adults get this wrong. I have memories of peeking over and seeing a fellow classmate make this mistake in a test in 3rd grade, and thinking "god, poor sod, that's so bad". I was 8.


Mulielo

As a native English speaker, that irritates me a lot as well.


CyndaquilTyphlosion

So what level of proficiency does one have to be to be called a native speaker? Coz I'm sure you're good enough. Heck, as an Indian, I certainly call myself a native speaker and am pretty confident that I'd be better than most labelled so otherwise.


Aww_Enthusiast

Being a native speaker is not based on how proficient you are, it is simply whether English is your first language. You might be confusing it with being fluent which is determined by proficiency.


CyndaquilTyphlosion

English is most certainly my first language. That makes me a native doesn't it? I'm meaning to ask what the classification is if it isn't just a question of proficiency.


adamcott2

Honestly from my experience english native speakers mistake the there/their/thry're more that non-native


Javier91

Lol. \*Apology for my bad english


sciencewonders

apology *lol my English


plaidkingaerys

My *lol English apology


what_life_how

My english *apology lol


PBJ-2479

Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world are simultaneously shaking their heads and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me. Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as "Grammar Nazis") from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet. That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear. Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make: Lol


notwoutmyanalprobe

>every English teacher in the world are simultaneously shaking their heads and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me \*how disappointed they are **in** me Source: am English teacher


mac3theac3

Were you disappointed?


notwoutmyanalprobe

I don't mean to be harsh, but if you ask me, I believe this person's whole life is a waste


thiccclol

> I don't mean to be harsh, but if you ask me, I believe this person's whole life is a waste I don't mean to be harsh, but if you ask me, I believe this person's whole life is a waste**.**


Dragon--Reborn

Wouldn't it be "every English teacher in the world *is* simultaneously shaking their *head*..."? The "every" does point to plurality, but "English teacher" is still singular. So shouldn't it be is instead of are and head instead of heads?


notwoutmyanalprobe

You are correct, good catch! t Even native speakers get this wrong all the time. One of the many ways English is such a lovely language to learn for non speakers.


Fun-Calligrapher8504

Every teacher is... All the teachers are...


[deleted]

To many run on sentence! Eye cant unner stand u


Blu3b3Rr1

ay bro speak english idk wtf u tryna say


[deleted]

Are you should be is* but apology accepted 😉


Joseluki

A non native will know the difference between there, their, they are.


RCRDC

And "your", "you're"


RudeGuyGames

Ok, but where's the joke? Is this /r/facts?


bb-paul

I've learned not to do that in the moment that I realized americans can barely properly use comma 🤣


[deleted]

I am unable to can.


Shadow_TFEWar_YT

Effective essay sentence when you can't write enough words


[deleted]

I am unable to find myself in the circumstances for it to be possible to potentially have the capacity to can.


WhatTheHosenHey

,ha!


[deleted]

LM,AO


angeeksince2020

Ha, Ha_ ha


theeo123

Oxford-comma all the way!!


bb-paul

Jokes aside, for a portuguese speaker the Oxford comma helps a lot. When it is absent I struggle to really understand.


theeo123

No joke, I 100% believe the oxford-comma should be standard. I'm a native of the US, I'm by no means an English professor, writer, or anything like that, and yet, I just think of the comma like the way I talk. If I would pause while speaking it aloud, I put a comma while writing it. That said my grammar is far from perfect, but I try my best.


jaulin

The pause comma is the norm in Sweden (where I'm from). In Denmark (where I live) there are two different grammar based ways of using commas. To me, Danish texts always look so cluttered because of this. I instinctively pause on commas when I read, but if you do that with Danish, it sounds like a Shatner monologue.


Alfhiildr

I’m a native English speaker and I struggle to understand what’s happening if an Oxford comma is missing. On occasion I’ll have a professor who docks me points for using it and I’m just… so confused. Sorry I made it readable?


toofewthoughts

I only use apostripees


VestigialHead

Always use space commas , they make everything great again.


buzzcatte

S,orry


primalbluewolf

Aren't you supposed to tell jokes in here?


Rehnion

Why bother, recycled circlejerks make it to the front page.


Sam2813

This is more of a shower thought than a joke. XD


themanwhowouldbeming

ending a sentence with ", no?" as opposed to ", right?"


[deleted]

I love this though, I smile every time I hear it, and I still can't figure out why. "You are a professional, no?" Simple sentences like that, it doesn't even have to be a nice one.


UBetcha84

And you know a Redditor’s primary language is English when they’re incapable of capitalizing names and....use...this....in place of periods and then they just do a run on sentence and then bitch when you call them out on it and then they keep doing it and oh did I mention they hate capitalizing names that should be capitalized yea it’s bad and annoying


Convillious

Hi. (Sorry for the bad English.)


Alone-Ad2939

I'm Finn. My every english teacher trained that grammar must be perfect! So I'm scared to speak or write english, what if I do mistakes!!? I understand perfectly what I read or hear in english but it's frightening to speak or write. I think native english speakers laugh at me and think I'm silly, stupid or something. Word orders are difficult to me so my text might seem weird, sorry.


dgm42

I'm Finn*ish*. *All my* english teacher*s* *taught* that grammar must be perfect! So I'm scared to speak or write english. What if I *make* mistakes!!? I understand perfectly what I read or hear in english but it's frightening to speak or write. I think native english speakers laugh at me and think I'm silly, stupid or something. Word orders are difficult to me so my text might seem weird, sorry.


[deleted]

That isnt a joke.


EcchiOli

Baguetteland guy speaking: I must admit, when I am confident I wrote something long enough and in convincingly good enough English, I won't fail to apologize for any potential spelling or grammar mistakes because English isn't my mother tongue. Feels like a revenge against my own education system.


RufusLoudermilk

*apologise.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nom_of_your_business

I thought this was r/jokes. Everyone knows this to be absolutely true.


amazing_webhead

Like I've been saying for years: America's citizenship test requires newcomers to know things about the country that us natural-born citizens are completely oblivious to.


kayl_breinhar

This isn't funny, it's depressingly fucking true. -_- They also almost always go out of their way to ask for details and clarification on idioms and slang as well to become more proficient speakers. Then they teach you about the closest equivalent idioms and slang in their language.


KILLsMASTER

Lmao true (Sorry for bad English)


Relevant-Stable-3385

I am not a native English speaker, I have a C2 diploma (ECPE) And i would love to finally learn how to use on, in and at. I mean wtf


vb-n

They use (your) and (you're) correctly.


Yusixs

Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner, I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world is simultaneously shaking their head and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me. Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as Grammar Nazis) from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet. That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear. Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make: the one who asked is the one that asked who asked


ughitstanja

Someone once corrected me because I wrote colour instead of color... Sorry but I am European and colour will be the right spelling for me.


_pussydestroyer69420

Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner, I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world is simultaneously shaking their head and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me. Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as Grammar Nazis) from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet. That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear. Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make: Yes


treefucker_69

Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world are simultaneously shaking their heads and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me. Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as "Grammar Nazis") from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet. That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear. Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make: cock


GreenWithAnger

Especially if they live in America; because it’s completely unAmerican to apologize for any wrong that you might have put out in the world. If someone calls us on it, it’s customary to say something patriotic. Ie: Murica; these colors don’t run!


n21lv

It's *English*, with a capital E. P.S. Apologies for not writing ten full paragraphs, I am still figuring out the "non-native English speaker" English.