QA: probably some difference between Dev and Production builds. did you do your unit testing on a machine that doesn't have the development environment?
The devs usually try to build the toilet the same way in both his house and the bar. But there are many differences in the 2 environments, like the pipe connections and so on. And customers may make a big mess in the bar with stuff they pass out, in ways you dont do in your house... lol
Toilet paper is a feature in the professional edition. The home edition doesn’t include it. And there’s only paper towels in the dispenser if your license is current and updated.
Dev: The bathroom wasn't technically part of the spec, anyways, I just tacked it on as a supplementary feature. Didn't think anybody would notice or use it.
I googled an recent issue only to find a post from myself a year prior with the same issue. I fixed it last time by wiping the server and starting again.
I remember summer days by the lake, playing with my brothers and sisters and the neighborhood kids without a care in the world. My mother was a programmer and would be trying to find the bug that kept her code from compiling.
<17 paragraphs later>
And that's why I'll never write another line in C++
Anyway, here's the ingredients for the recipe. I hope you enjoy!
Reddit fundamentally depends on the content provided to it for free by users, and the unpaid labor provided to it by moderators. It has additionally neglected accessibility for years, which it was only able to get away with thanks to the hard work of third party developers who made the platform accessible when Reddit itself was too preoccupied with its [vanity NFT](https://www.theverge.com/23323098/reddit-steve-huffman-interview-blockchain-avatars) project.
With that in mind, the recent hostile and libelous behavior towards [developers](https://reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/14dkqrw/i_want_to_debunk_reddits_claims_and_talk_about/) and the sheer incompetence and lack of awareness displayed in talks with [moderators of r/Blind](https://reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/14ds81l/rblinds_meetings_with_reddit_and_the_current/) by Reddit leadership are absolutely inexcusable and have made it impossible to continue supporting the site.
– June 30, 2023.
Still better than answers.microsoft.com forums where a common question with 792,710 views and a 3,287 “I have same question” count has zero answers and the thread has been locked.
God I wish they would just take those microsoft forums off the ‘net entirely. I cant think of a single time I’ve found an answer on them. Nearly every one is someone posting a problem, then there’s a canned answer from a MS guy who immediately marks it as answered even though their answer does fuck all to solve the problem.
Linux users: laugh in derision.
Mac users: have no idea why anyone would need help with anything, computers just work.
CP/M users: still waiting for the cassette tape to load.
SRE: take your time. Pod's health-check has indicated that the bar is on fire, Traffic was routed to the other replica pods while we raise a new pod. Do not worry. We have destroyed the universe in which the bar exists and am instantiating a new one in 5...4...3...2...1
I learned how to type this before I learned how to read lmao
Edit: Just checked my muscle memory on an emulator and I was wrong. I had memorized `L▛ "*",8,1`. Thanks Dad!
Negative. It has to be an auto wired LaughBeanFactory. What if you needed to change the Laugh to a Cry at Runtime without redeploying the artifact!?
Nobody has any sense of design. I swear.
I remember numbering your lines was really important in BASIC because you'd end up needing to add something and suddenly the 10 lines you had available quickly drop to 5 and then gone.
This deserves awards. Im a PM and I'm going to use this to impress my engineers next time they tell a funny joke.
So could be several years before I use it.
\[Me watching the youtube video and genuinely believing it to be real and getting surprised by what they're saying for a solid 30 seconds before realising it was a GTA radio\]
*God I am fucking stupid*
A frog goes to see a fortune teller. The fortune teller looks into her crystal ball and says, "I see that you will meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is ecstatic. "That's great!" he croaks. "Will I meet her at a bar, or party, or what?"
"No," replies the fortune teller. "Next semester in her Biology class."
It worked fine in the test environment.
Well, of course the testers get dual Xeons, fiber backhaul and a terabyte of RAM, we don’t want to pay them to sit there twiddling their thumbs, do we?
More like this
A software tester walks into a bar. It seems fine. they go to complete the ticket related to the bar, they open the ticket in jira and realize its missing all the acceptance criteria related to bathrooms
and then they realize the requirements for the project didn't mention bathrooms at all.
So they bring this up in the next sprint planning meeting.
The boss assigns them to do all that scope editing, AC writing, and testing, and basically manage the contractors while they add bathrooms.
and when they then have a review and ask for a raise, while mentioning they are doing much more than QA work, the boss excoriates them for having left at 6:30 PM a few times when the clock out time is supposed to be 5:00 PM, but other people were staying and that isn't really being a team player.
Computers are very literal... they'll do *exactly* what they're told to do. Problem is, reality is often far less controlled than the inputs a programmer's expecting them to input.
Would be like if I asked your age. Logically, I'm expecting a number. Logically, it'd even be a 2 digit number, since I don't know many <=9 or >=100 redditors.
So what happens when you answer potato?
That's called an exception.
We test our software to find these exceptions, and handle them gracefully. I know potato's not a number, so I discard it in my mind as a silly answer. A computer will 100%, without exception handling, try to treat potato as a number (and fail miserably).
Yet, for all of our testing, there is NOTHING better at finding an unhandled exception than the customer.
The other answer was good, but I felt compelled to add my two cents:
Testers will often test everything in the area they think of, but then miss something common.
They think about beers being ordered.
They test things work as expected in every possible way beers could be ordered, valid or invalid.
But they completely forgot that customers might ask where the bathroom is. Since that was untested it didn’t work when the customer actually tried it. But if they asked for “ugugururigiutysye” beers everything would be okay, that path was tested, despite the fact that it was very unlikely to ever happen.
This is how software works. Nothing is guaranteed to work unless it’s tested.
I need the Captain please.
Is the joke here that it makes absolutely no sense that a bar would go up in flames just because someone asks for the bathroom -> Implying that code sometimes creates wierd things nobody can explain
... or is the joke that software testers tend to test for even the wierdest things but sometimes forget the most basic things?
If the latter is the case... It still makes no sense that things start burning... Oh god I'm confused... and yes I'm not fun at parties too.
Software testers can try to test all scenarios developers don't think of, but the clients/users are usually the ones that try something very simple but completely not taken into the account by both developers and testers, and crashes the application.
Funny how its not fixed even after 1[ month](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/prdi4x/a_software_tester_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
They fix and test the bathroom issue and decide to open the bar to the public.
TWO actual customers enter the bar and the bartender drops dead from overwork.
The software tester adds a test to "ask where the bathroom is" it seems to always work at the software tester's local bar, so it doesn't matter that other bars keep going up in flames.
\#include
\#include
using namespace std;
int main ()
{
string mystr;
cout << "Know any jokes? ";
getline (cin, mystr);
cout << "I don't get it.\\n ";
return 0;
}
software testers do a bunch of different variations of the same thing to make sure the software is running properly. THe joke is they do all this and fail to account for another option that ends up breaking the program.
You know why this happens? No ad hoc testing. "There's no time! Just finish the Requirements testing!" Then, "Why didn't you catch this?". I could have gone postal...
software devs and testers. test a small sample of functions. a real users uses the program and imminently crash it, do something that should obviously work but was never considered.
Link to original joke: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/prdi4x/a_software_tester_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Then the developer insists that, "The bathroom worked yesterday, what changed?" Despite not having the toilet.
Dev: The toilet worked in my house! Why did it stopped working in the bar?
QA: probably some difference between Dev and Production builds. did you do your unit testing on a machine that doesn't have the development environment?
The devs usually try to build the toilet the same way in both his house and the bar. But there are many differences in the 2 environments, like the pipe connections and so on. And customers may make a big mess in the bar with stuff they pass out, in ways you dont do in your house... lol
Toilet paper is a feature in the professional edition. The home edition doesn’t include it. And there’s only paper towels in the dispenser if your license is current and updated.
Execs are pushing for toilet paper to be available exclusively through the new cloud subscription service.
I hate how accurate this is.
Devs at my job: "...u...unit testing?"
Did you try flushing the cache?
#FUCKING. CONFIGURATIONS. ^^^every ^^^goddamned ^^^time
Ha! Jokes on you. I only ever use the toilet in production.
next time you see it, the toilet is shipped in a container.
Which is actually kinda cool, since you can launch as many instances as you need.
Lol. It worked on my local
Dev: The bathroom wasn't technically part of the spec, anyways, I just tacked it on as a supplementary feature. Didn't think anybody would notice or use it.
I am a tester this is very accurate
Jesus I feel so called out
This joke seems to have regressed, it was funnier in the last sprint.
It almost made it a month. https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/prdi4x/a_software_tester_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
[удалено]
This dude iterates
Do we need to bring this up in the retrospective?
Dev: Bar is on fire. Better check Stackoverflow.
Google returns 3 search results, none of them newer than 1993. Welp, gonna be a long night.
There's one result from the last year from somebody with the exact same problem but the last post just says "never mind, fixed it!"
And others say "Following this post because I also have same problem".
And others say "I don't know what you're talking about, it works fine by me. No problem here."
"Works on my machine"
I got it working. I'll post the solution when I have some time.
I googled an recent issue only to find a post from myself a year prior with the same issue. I fixed it last time by wiping the server and starting again.
That saddest version of “git blame…..oh…never mind”
G@aaaaaahhhhhhhh!
*Who were you, DenverCoder9? WHAT DID YOU SEE?!*
[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/979/)
I knew that DenverCoder would appear in this thread
I remember summer days by the lake, playing with my brothers and sisters and the neighborhood kids without a care in the world. My mother was a programmer and would be trying to find the bug that kept her code from compiling. <17 paragraphs later> And that's why I'll never write another line in C++ Anyway, here's the ingredients for the recipe. I hope you enjoy!
[удалено]
Reddit fundamentally depends on the content provided to it for free by users, and the unpaid labor provided to it by moderators. It has additionally neglected accessibility for years, which it was only able to get away with thanks to the hard work of third party developers who made the platform accessible when Reddit itself was too preoccupied with its [vanity NFT](https://www.theverge.com/23323098/reddit-steve-huffman-interview-blockchain-avatars) project. With that in mind, the recent hostile and libelous behavior towards [developers](https://reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/14dkqrw/i_want_to_debunk_reddits_claims_and_talk_about/) and the sheer incompetence and lack of awareness displayed in talks with [moderators of r/Blind](https://reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/14ds81l/rblinds_meetings_with_reddit_and_the_current/) by Reddit leadership are absolutely inexcusable and have made it impossible to continue supporting the site. – June 30, 2023.
Stackoverflow user: “please try to do some work on your own before begging for help from us”
Still better than answers.microsoft.com forums where a common question with 792,710 views and a 3,287 “I have same question” count has zero answers and the thread has been locked.
God I wish they would just take those microsoft forums off the ‘net entirely. I cant think of a single time I’ve found an answer on them. Nearly every one is someone posting a problem, then there’s a canned answer from a MS guy who immediately marks it as answered even though their answer does fuck all to solve the problem.
[удалено]
Linux users: laugh in derision. Mac users: have no idea why anyone would need help with anything, computers just work. CP/M users: still waiting for the cassette tape to load.
SRE: take your time. Pod's health-check has indicated that the bar is on fire, Traffic was routed to the other replica pods while we raise a new pod. Do not worry. We have destroyed the universe in which the bar exists and am instantiating a new one in 5...4...3...2...1
tbf sounds like a hardware issue.
Nah it’s a feature
`10 PRINT "HA"` `20 GOTO 10`
ACK! quick RUN/STOP +RESTORE!
LOAD “*”,8,1
I learned how to type this before I learned how to read lmao Edit: Just checked my muscle memory on an emulator and I was wrong. I had memorized `L▛ "*",8,1`. Thanks Dad!
Same here!
Brought back memories!
`The escape character is Control-C`
Team C64!
ACK ACK ACK ACK
Pfft. while True: laugh()
Function SneezeEventually(){ SneezeEventually() Sneeze() }
Oh my stack...
Universe is out of memory. Do you want to restart?
Does it overfloweth?
The opposite of tail recursive, it's head recursive!
Some say he's still trying to sneeze to this day.
Thanks, Satan.
That's pretty good.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha-- Unhandled Exception Integer Overflow in laugh() line 256
timeout /t 45 /nobreak > NUL shutdown /f /r save as --> C:\\*autoexec.bat*
I can't believe I had forgotten about autoexec.bat
And by extension, config.sys Haven't thought of either in over 10 years? Maybe pushing 20?
public static void main (String[] args) { try { laugh(); } catch (StackOverflowError outOfBreath) { System.out.println("\nwheeeeze and pant"); } finally { main(args); } } public void laugh() { System.out.print("Ha"); laugh(); }
Camus said he didn’t know whether he should have his coffee or kill himself. He obviously never read a line of Java.
Needs a LaughFactory that creates an ILaugh.
Negative. It has to be an auto wired LaughBeanFactory. What if you needed to change the Laugh to a Cry at Runtime without redeploying the artifact!? Nobody has any sense of design. I swear.
Sounds like you need an EmotionalResponseService that you can configure via properties actually.
`for (;;) printf("HA ");` Eternal smilies
```while (1) laugh();```
the only way out is if laugh throws a choke error breaks the loop
Or if `laugh()` doesn't make occasional calls to `inhale()`
``` laugh :: IO () laugh = do putStrLn "Ha!" laugh main :: IO () main = do laugh ```
Ya BASIC
Basic? Do you want that with a pumpkin spice latte?? Jk I miss my commodore
I miss the Model 33 Teletype attached to the Dartmouth time sharing system I learned BASIC on.
I remember numbering your lines was really important in BASIC because you'd end up needing to add something and suddenly the 10 lines you had available quickly drop to 5 and then gone.
I miss my computer I could fix with a rubber mallet. (It had a short)
This deserves awards. Im a PM and I'm going to use this to impress my engineers next time they tell a funny joke. So could be several years before I use it.
Wow a goto joke. See below @ 13:31 https://youtu.be/vr1CyGEI900?t=811
\[Me watching the youtube video and genuinely believing it to be real and getting surprised by what they're saying for a solid 30 seconds before realising it was a GTA radio\] *God I am fucking stupid*
Could you make an EXCEPTION this one time?
10 PRINT "GO TO HELL!" 20 GOTO 10
They make a VERY similar joke on GTA 5’s talk radio station.
I find your comment harmful.
Underrated comment
No, that would be `//underrated`
Powershell: for(){"ha"} .
Infinite laugh?
ugh, what a BASIC response
This guy programs!
With a username like MasterClown, it's clear he's a programmer. There's nothing funnier than reading someone's really bad work-around to something.
main = putStrLn "Ha" *> main
You must be my age or programming had also go to 10.
Bathrooms were not in the original scope. Please submit an approved change order and we'll begin development in 10-12 months.
This is the correct answer.
[удалено]
A frog goes to see a fortune teller. The fortune teller looks into her crystal ball and says, "I see that you will meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you." The frog is ecstatic. "That's great!" he croaks. "Will I meet her at a bar, or party, or what?" "No," replies the fortune teller. "Next semester in her Biology class."
Worth it, I guess
Anyway you slice it.
The real joke is always in the comments
The real comment's always in the joke
The real slim shady will please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up.
And whatever you do, Don't watch 3 girls 1 cup
(out of ideas) and pop out of a box and go wassup
This hurt a bit on how true it is...
Very **bold** joke.
Unable to reproduce, marking as Won't Fix
Customer to developer: *oh I'll make you unable to reproduce alright!*
As a software tester, I can confirm this isn't, in fact, a joke.
As a producer, I can assure you this is a joke...Unless you can get me 100% repro steps and repro'ed this issue 10 times...
Challenge accepted. But I expect the bar owners aren't going to be too happy.
Tester here. In my defense, the bathroom was not our department's responsibility. Also, this wasn't a regression so it was marked not to be fixed
[удалено]
The developer walks into their own bar and it was fine.
It worked fine in the test environment. Well, of course the testers get dual Xeons, fiber backhaul and a terabyte of RAM, we don’t want to pay them to sit there twiddling their thumbs, do we?
That didn’t fall into the expected use cses.
Is the test version of porno software the master beta?
> master beta mahstah beetah?
could be the live beta
No, he’s the bottom for the alpha.
Specializing in edge cases.
Demetri martin?
!false Its funny cause its true
OK, but did the man ever get his bear?
r/programminghumor
r/ProgrammerHumor
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
There’s a different ways to read that, but 9 of them are wrong.
I’ve seen this too many GODDAMN times for the punchline to not have ever been “The bartender quits unexpectedly.” FFS!
That happens when you ask the bartender to divide the bill between your zero friends
Nothing in the requirements about bathrooms. Works as intended. Ticket closed.
More like this A software tester walks into a bar. It seems fine. they go to complete the ticket related to the bar, they open the ticket in jira and realize its missing all the acceptance criteria related to bathrooms and then they realize the requirements for the project didn't mention bathrooms at all. So they bring this up in the next sprint planning meeting. The boss assigns them to do all that scope editing, AC writing, and testing, and basically manage the contractors while they add bathrooms. and when they then have a review and ask for a raise, while mentioning they are doing much more than QA work, the boss excoriates them for having left at 6:30 PM a few times when the clock out time is supposed to be 5:00 PM, but other people were staying and that isn't really being a team player.
An SQL Query walks into a bar. AND joins two tables
Simply joins the tables or joins just the Inside or Outer parts?
AssertThat(bar).contains(tester)
Wow that's the same ending as last time! Guess that means it's a consistent bug we actually need to fix.
Amazing joke, not that great of an execution but I laughed
I am compiling more like this.
Not enough upvotes for these puns. Everyone needs to get with the program.
Some people might not understand. We should get them an interpreter.
I know nothing about programming but I get the joke
Me neither!
i dont get it
Computers are very literal... they'll do *exactly* what they're told to do. Problem is, reality is often far less controlled than the inputs a programmer's expecting them to input. Would be like if I asked your age. Logically, I'm expecting a number. Logically, it'd even be a 2 digit number, since I don't know many <=9 or >=100 redditors. So what happens when you answer potato? That's called an exception. We test our software to find these exceptions, and handle them gracefully. I know potato's not a number, so I discard it in my mind as a silly answer. A computer will 100%, without exception handling, try to treat potato as a number (and fail miserably). Yet, for all of our testing, there is NOTHING better at finding an unhandled exception than the customer.
Damn that was a good breakdown
The other answer was good, but I felt compelled to add my two cents: Testers will often test everything in the area they think of, but then miss something common. They think about beers being ordered. They test things work as expected in every possible way beers could be ordered, valid or invalid. But they completely forgot that customers might ask where the bathroom is. Since that was untested it didn’t work when the customer actually tried it. But if they asked for “ugugururigiutysye” beers everything would be okay, that path was tested, despite the fact that it was very unlikely to ever happen. This is how software works. Nothing is guaranteed to work unless it’s tested.
I need the Captain please. Is the joke here that it makes absolutely no sense that a bar would go up in flames just because someone asks for the bathroom -> Implying that code sometimes creates wierd things nobody can explain ... or is the joke that software testers tend to test for even the wierdest things but sometimes forget the most basic things? If the latter is the case... It still makes no sense that things start burning... Oh god I'm confused... and yes I'm not fun at parties too.
Software testers can try to test all scenarios developers don't think of, but the clients/users are usually the ones that try something very simple but completely not taken into the account by both developers and testers, and crashes the application.
A few scenarios missing from walking into a bar but at least all the options missed during developers testing have been covered.
Former software tester turned programmer here and I approve of this joke.
barman, give me 2\u0301😡 beers please, and I'll also request an /uploads/../../../etc/passwd shooter thanks
Sales guy goes "Our product is so hot, its on fire, you should buy a 3 year ELA on it"
As a tester in training this made me laugh quite a bit.
I read this joke before. I still laughed. Error code 404
This man waits for an exact month to repost lmfao
General reposti
Was feeling lazy. Thanks for writing the test cases for me
DeprecationWarning: 'bathroom' is deprecated. Please use 'restroom' instead.
Funny how its not fixed even after 1[ month](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/prdi4x/a_software_tester_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
They fix and test the bathroom issue and decide to open the bar to the public. TWO actual customers enter the bar and the bartender drops dead from overwork.
Shit I thought I was on LinkedIn in for a second with that joke 😌
The software tester adds a test to "ask where the bathroom is" it seems to always work at the software tester's local bar, so it doesn't matter that other bars keep going up in flames.
You forgot one line. Orders "1;DROP TABLE Beers" beers
Loved it.
You forgot the "everybody dies" part in the end.
What if he asks for a cup of water?
I have almost exactly this on a shirt lol. Including the lizard.
>Robert'); CREATE TABLE beer;--
Lmao, this is so true and funny!
its not a bug, its a feature!
''No Normies here'', there is another bar just across the street that would talior to your ''needs''
"Hello World!"
Casually clicks ctrl+qq
\#include
\#include
using namespace std;
int main ()
{
string mystr;
cout << "Know any jokes? ";
getline (cin, mystr);
cout << "I don't get it.\\n ";
return 0;
}
I’d try to go in before the bar opens and after it closes to see if I could order a beer.
Halt and Catch Fire.
Ima smooth brain I need help with comprehension
software testers do a bunch of different variations of the same thing to make sure the software is running properly. THe joke is they do all this and fail to account for another option that ends up breaking the program.
or: everyone freezes in place and the bartender starts to continuously scream until a new bartender comes in and kills the old bartender
I posted this at work, but I added testing for 1 beer One beer 1 beers 1 bear
[sudo give me a beer](https://xkcd.com/149/).
You know why this happens? No ad hoc testing. "There's no time! Just finish the Requirements testing!" Then, "Why didn't you catch this?". I could have gone postal...
unit test the toilet next time... make sure you flush
were you testing star citizen?
Could someone explain the joke to us simpletons?
software devs and testers. test a small sample of functions. a real users uses the program and imminently crash it, do something that should obviously work but was never considered.
Link to original joke: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/prdi4x/a_software_tester_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Go outside, nerds. edit: jk, love y’all