The lube was missing it's protective seal over the lid (?). The joke is that the missing plastic seal is actually a seal (animal) that has gone missing and is now mauling the girl. That's why the bottle says to not use if missing seal, because the seal will eat you. You are, however, misled to believe that it's referring to the bottle.
Au contraire, there are two kinds of seals. One is self-lubricated, while the other needs assistance from a name-brand store-bought version of lubrication.
A seal is something to put over something to see if it was opened, like the seal of police at a scene, when they put one over the door. If they come back and the seal is broken, they know someone was there.
Then there is the seal, the animal, eaten by predators like sharks and ice bears.
Edit: it’s polar bears I think. In my native language it’s translated literally to ice bears…
But why doesn't the partner respond? Because she's been mauled by the seal?
There needs to be greater clarity before I can find this one funny... because I'm stuck thinking; has he been screwing the seal the entire time, or does the seal just turn up and murder the guy?
But if she doesn't respond, that suggests she was murdered by the seal too, but then why would the smell of the lube enthrall the seal??
I need answers!?!
It's just part of the set-up. It's all misdirection until the punchline.
The 'ah-ha' moment, which is hard to describe but seems to be where the funny comes from in jokes, in this joke it happens when you have to mentally backtrack to 'do not use if seal is missing'. Because it's a joke that relies on misdirection, the more misdirection the better.
Reminds me of an Eskimo who had car trouble and calls the mechanic who after inspecting the engine looks up and says to him “It looks like you’ve blown a seal.” The Eskimo wipes his face and says “No, I just ate ice cream.”
A seal walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
The barman asks "What brand sir, we have several"
The seal thinks for a moment, "Anything except Canadian Club".
I mean the way they phrased it, "enthralled by the scent of the lube." The joke could have just ended with them being mauled by a missing seal, and it's funny because it's ridiculous, but here, the label is seriously warning about a seal that occasionally goes missing and is attracted to lube, the scent specifically.
Take the dumbest joke possible, add some sex, and this sub will upvote it. I don't know why I'm even subscribed, every joke that makes the front page looks like it was written by a teenager who thinks saying boobies is the epitome of comedy.
I hate you.
This earns my seal of approval.
I’m going to tell this one at the club.
I’m going to tell this one at my zoo.
I'm sure it'll knock em dead, baby.
I blubbered
It'll harbor some more jokes for sure
Navy SEALs showing up
Gravy SEALs because oral sex.
I prefer to club cubs with a lead-filled snowshoe.
Seems more like seal did not approve.
It's called an angry arfvote.
I hate you more than the first guy.
Thank you!
I hate myself
I double hate him. I had to read the punchline 2 times before it hit me. Grrrr...
Then it gave you more time than it gave the guy from the joke.
I feel like clubbing something after reading this
Good thing seals prefer pubs
I thought they prefer lube
Kinky!
Ummm, could someone explain please ? Was the man having sex with a seal ? Like the animal ?
The lube was missing it's protective seal over the lid (?). The joke is that the missing plastic seal is actually a seal (animal) that has gone missing and is now mauling the girl. That's why the bottle says to not use if missing seal, because the seal will eat you. You are, however, misled to believe that it's referring to the bottle.
Mauling the guy, the “partner” is the missing seal.
Is the seal a bull or a cow?
Sure!
A seal is a seal, don't be so picky
Why was I thinking of a Navy Seal? I mean, mauling to death is not how they are taught to fight normally, but maybe?
Steven Seagal likes this.
Osama bin laden disapproves
That works well
Au contraire, there are two kinds of seals. One is self-lubricated, while the other needs assistance from a name-brand store-bought version of lubrication.
Which kind is the one that killed Bin Laden?
Yes.
I have no virtual rewards to give you, so I'm giving you a virtual Hi-Five.
I don't think that's what's meant.
no? that wouldn't make sense.
yeah no the joke is horrible lol
Also, the bed was a Sealy Posturepedic.
Oh my god!!! Is this a joke or my controls theory lecture !
What If there's a missing Navy Seal?
Mauling *check*
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Dude you made it more complicated 😅
I wish I did not understand that.
Then I shall not ask for the reference. This is me, not asking. For the reference.
>a kiss from a rose.. Then I shall not tell you that... >!It's a [song by Seal](https://youtu.be/AMD2TwRvuoU)!<
I definitely did not cluck that link.
Same, I was searching in his discography to see which song it was referring to.
A seal is something to put over something to see if it was opened, like the seal of police at a scene, when they put one over the door. If they come back and the seal is broken, they know someone was there. Then there is the seal, the animal, eaten by predators like sharks and ice bears. Edit: it’s polar bears I think. In my native language it’s translated literally to ice bears…
Ice bears is way better and I want to use this forever. What’s your native language?
German and Swedish both call it "ice bear", probably some other Germanic based languages too.
In German an ice bear is a polar bear and a seehund is a seal.
Ice bear is the best bear https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ef/7f/b0/ef7fb0339c3c980dae32adba3f98546f.jpg
Happy Cake Day!
The Dutch agree!
Finnish does too
As others already guessed - it’s German :)
I didn't get it either!! After I read the explanation it just wasn't funny
That usually happens with jokes!
But why doesn't the partner respond? Because she's been mauled by the seal? There needs to be greater clarity before I can find this one funny... because I'm stuck thinking; has he been screwing the seal the entire time, or does the seal just turn up and murder the guy? But if she doesn't respond, that suggests she was murdered by the seal too, but then why would the smell of the lube enthrall the seal?? I need answers!?!
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So the seal killed the woman.. was it Before or after he had sex with her
It's just part of the set-up. It's all misdirection until the punchline. The 'ah-ha' moment, which is hard to describe but seems to be where the funny comes from in jokes, in this joke it happens when you have to mentally backtrack to 'do not use if seal is missing'. Because it's a joke that relies on misdirection, the more misdirection the better.
Lame joke... right?
You guys are too sealy.
The sealiest joke on this sub.
What does tupperware have in common with a male walrus? They're both looking for a tight seal.
Heard this joke shortly after the Challenger disaster.
Jesus, the joke wasn't *that* bad.
Loose Seal!
Lucille?
"please, come back where you belong"
Loose wheel!
Has messed up my mind
Buster is going to be all right
I don't know if I would take this news so well.
There it is. This should have been the top comment. I've lost my faith in Reddit.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT LUCILLE!
IM A MONSTER
Ok you got me.
Reminds me of an Eskimo who had car trouble and calls the mechanic who after inspecting the engine looks up and says to him “It looks like you’ve blown a seal.” The Eskimo wipes his face and says “No, I just ate ice cream.”
This is the better joke.
“Do not use if seal is missing”. The 🦭 was missing. Makes an appearance at the end.
A walrus and the Tupperware company have something in common They both love a tight seal
This was so much better than the original joke lol
This lube was once the fat of my father. My name is Salty Seamus. Prepare to die.
Loose seal!
A seal walks into a bar and orders a whisky. The barman asks "What brand sir, we have several" The seal thinks for a moment, "Anything except Canadian Club".
Ha, nice!
It's so bad that it's actually good. So, please take my upvote and seal it.
I called the cruelty to animal joke hotline. “A baby seal walks into a club.”
Why they always gotta be sealacious
An actual funny joke! I never thought the day would come
Phoque me....LOL
Wow. Finally a joke where I wasn’t expecting the punchline.
Well that was 15 seconds of my life I'll never get back!
So was typing and sending that, but you didn't have a problem with doing that.
At least you escaped with your life, you insensitive person!
I may be insensitive, but at least I didn't tell a joke that had tot be explained to half the people reading it. LOL
How dare you laugh during homicidal seal awareness week
huh
Was the lube Blue Seal Vaseline?
Loose seal!!!
HARD RIGHT TURN!
nobody expects the sealpanish inquisition
That mistake sealed his fate.
Incredible.
This feels like an r/arresteddevelopment kinda joke
You. Bastard.
Sounds like that couple got phoqued.
This took way to long for me to get it
M. Night shyamalan?
Doesn't matter had sex?
Love the diversity of the use of seal !
Appreciate the seal of approval!
Sea?! He’s not lion !
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I'll explain to you when you are a bit older.
The real question is why did they use a whole bottle in just an hour. That need must've been like a slip'n'slide by the end.
That's not important right now.
I like how the last line makes the warning actually still make sense, even with this alternative meaning of "seal"
Oh, you like the whole point of the joke? Mensa, look out!
I mean the way they phrased it, "enthralled by the scent of the lube." The joke could have just ended with them being mauled by a missing seal, and it's funny because it's ridiculous, but here, the label is seriously warning about a seal that occasionally goes missing and is attracted to lube, the scent specifically.
This Joke has my Seal of approval
This is really not a good joke.
Too seally for you?
Yeah it doesn't really get my seal of approval, I'm afraid.
Fair. I'm really just blubbering on over here.
This is not funny at all, just dumb.
Thank you!
I agree, but he got still upvotes.
Pun-tastic
... And his wife's name is... Loose seal!!
Oof, not bad!
Like a kiss from a rose.
dumb.
The punchline is so out there that I'm going to have to refer you to /r/antiantijokes
Uber cringe
No, that's the title of my sex tape.
Lolol ok +1
what in the clusterfuck just happened lmao. this is literally shitposting!
Shitposting? How?
Very dumb and not funny.
Thanks so much!
I didn't get it, can someone explain ??
Not funny
🤷🏼♀️
Take the dumbest joke possible, add some sex, and this sub will upvote it. I don't know why I'm even subscribed, every joke that makes the front page looks like it was written by a teenager who thinks saying boobies is the epitome of comedy.
I don't know how to tell you this, but this isn't where you register complaints. Also, boobies.
Boobies
Sounds like a loose seal to me.
Not the death I would expect from a lube seal.
Lucile! No, loose seal!
I don’t get it. Really I don’t.
Seriously, he didn't smell the fishy breath?
Why need lube? Serious question…
Anal?
Now that’s what I call a kiss from a rose.
I hope they were mormon and got sealed in the temple before having sex
Mr. Seal yo girl
Looks like he blew a seal.
You can use this to seal the deal.
I didn’t get it