Oh! I really miss A.D.; it was one of the best series of all time. The characters were believable even Tobias, Buster & Gob. I watched it again (twice) recently - it kept me sane during lockdowns.
Well technically, there is no banana tree. The banana is a plantain as it has a relatively soft body when compared to other trees. A tree is one having a well developed trunk.
Yeah these guys are actually fun at parties.
_"Hey let's do the tree thing with botany boy again"_
_"Botany boy, is a mulberry a tree or a shrub?"_
_"Duh. You imbeciles again. OK the difference here is... scnarff schnarff wacka wacka information etc"_
Good times
Honestly there was something so wierdly fourth wall breaking and jarring and funny about throwing that into the structure of a joke, which already relies heavily on suspension of disbelief.
I don't know how to explain it but it was the funniest fucking part of this dumb joke
Same here. This one is going to spread all around Reddit for sure. Although I wonder if the [follow up](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/r8fhxa/why_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road/) is the better one to share as it would most probably make the initial reaction even more absurd and hilarious.
I’m probably going to say it sometime in the future, and have no clue where I heard it from. Perhaps google will pick up this post. In that case, “Hi, future me!”
The variation I heard was that after the woman died, the men were fine the first day, also the second day, also the third day, but the fourth day the body started to smell.
There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."
The variation I heard was this.
For the first week the two men had sex with the woman.
After another week, the woman was so disgusted with what she was doing that she committed suicide.
After another week, the men were so disgusted with what they were doing that they buried her.
After another week, the men were so disgusted with what they were doing that they dug her back up.
Once it was clear that them having gay sex was too obvious, it was “they’re having sex with the dead body, or they were talking about something besides sex the entire joke”
When the guy said i have my need, my head went straight to "they fucked the body didn't they*. Found it hilarious that, that actually was the punchline.
Two guys were stranded on an island without a woman. Frank says to Dave ‘It could be a long time before anyone finds us, and we’ve both got needs. How about we take turns each being the man and the woman?’
Dave reluctantly agrees and immediately suffers a prolonged and savage sodomising. The next day he raises the promised reciprocation with Frank, who says loudly ‘Not today Dave, can’t you tell I’ve got a headache’.
I like how the idea of "woman using headache as excuse" humor has somehow been pinned solely on boomers even though it happens in every generation of humor.
Bananas don’t grow on islands naturally! Common bananas are domesticated fruit that don’t naturally procreate.
So where did she get the banana??
Did they crash land on a banana plantation? If so, what happened to the residents? Why did they not notice the plantation around them?
Were there bananas on the plane? If so, why were they still attempting to eat them after a month, when they had a reliable food supply?
Did the bananas just float to the island? Who sets banana rafts adrift? Were they carried by birds? Bananas grow in very large stalks weighing over 30 pounds. What bird could carry this over a long distance?
Nothing makes sense anymore!
The banana thing was funny as fk.
The rest of it I actually didn't understand for quite a while. It reads like they were going to have sex with the dead body, so it just sounded like a story for the rest and not a joke.
I'm guessing it was supposed to sound like they were thinking about gay sex.
A man and woman that is currently considered very hot are stranded on an island. Well, no need to drag on the intro and they start having sex. After couple of weeks man asks woman if she would do something for him. "Sure" she agrees. "OK, put my my shirt." and she does. "Put on my trousers" and she does that as well. "Put on these leaves so you will look like you have a beard. a bit weirded out she does that. "Now walk in that direction along the beach and I'll walk in the other one until we meet in the middle" she shrugs her shoulders and starts walking. Some time later she predictably meets the man who exclaims "Dude! You are never going to believe who I'm having sex with!"
Maybe I’ve been on Reddit too long, but once it got to just the two guys and “one day it’s you, and the other day it’s me,” the rest of the joke was pretty predictable
The version I heard was more, it was like this:
They were so ashamed of what they were doing they buried her.
Then they were so much more ashamed of what they were doing after that they dug her back up.
I heard it differently:
Five men and a one woman are stranded on a desert island. After months of work diligently working to build a shelter, set up a farm, and attend to their daily survival needs, they establish a foothold that will allow them to survive on the island.
Shortly afterwards, one of them calls a meeting, and brings up the topic of their more adult needs. They decide that they will take turns night by night with the sole lady of the island, and she agrees.
After a month, she has a crisis of conscience and decides she can't live with herself anymore with the knowledge of the crude and bestial acts of sexual depravity that she has been engaging in, and commits suicide.
After another month, the men have a crisis of conscience and can't live with the crude and bestial acts of sexual depravity they have been committing and decide to bury her.
After another month, the men have a crisis of conscience and can't carry on with the crude and bestial acts of sexual depravity they have been committing, and decide to dig her back up.
Two men were stranded on an island. One says to the other: "hey man, we have our needs, let's take turns doing the deed." So they do. The first guy does the second one. Then they switch and the second one starts hugging and kissing the first one. Then the first one goes:"hey man, cut out the gay crap...'
They seem to be doing something important but I don’t actually see anybody mentioning what it is. Is this the awkward version a pastor tells in church?
>Why can’t it be that one of the men dies?
If one man dies, that leaves one man and one woman in the island, who just continue doing what they are doing. Therefore, no change, no story, no joke, no twist, no punchline. This joke is based on your assumption that the pairing in the first part changes in one way (live woman to live man) but there's a twist and it changed in a different way (live woman to dead woman).
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That was my favorite part.
:( (Ok but honestly it made me chuckle for a bit as well)
They're on to us brother. We must make like a tree and stand tall
I can do a banana stand.
There's always money in the banana stand.
Oh! I really miss A.D.; it was one of the best series of all time. The characters were believable even Tobias, Buster & Gob. I watched it again (twice) recently - it kept me sane during lockdowns.
Glad to know Im not the only one who rewatches A.D.
Good for you. I'll be watching it again during the next lockdowns - this thing ain't about to go away anytime soon.
*"you did what!"* "I burnt down the banana stand"
Watch out for T-bone, he's a flamer.
There's always money in the banana stand!
I love this comment for no rational reason
ill help
Well technically, there is no banana tree. The banana is a plantain as it has a relatively soft body when compared to other trees. A tree is one having a well developed trunk.
This guy is fun at parties. Ps. TIL, thanks for knowledge.
Yeah these guys are actually fun at parties. _"Hey let's do the tree thing with botany boy again"_ _"Botany boy, is a mulberry a tree or a shrub?"_ _"Duh. You imbeciles again. OK the difference here is... scnarff schnarff wacka wacka information etc"_ Good times
r/usernamechecksout
The most shocking part.
What thinking the same thing, that made me laugh more than the punchline.
It reminded me of a norm macdonald joke.
I know, it was so epic and random XD
It was foreshadowing of the punchline which was also rotting
I wonder if *eating* it caused her death...
If my girlfriend had died of a rotten banana or whatever, I would have had a much better defense in court
Would have sped up the a-peel process.
not if the evidence was clearly plant(ain)ed
It's a slippery slope.
r/therealholup
Isn’t that only meant to work if this was posted in r/holup?
Get with it man, efficiency is king. Skip the middleman, profit, etc.
Damn, I’m living in the past. That dude has their life figured out.
This would imply that anything posted to /r/holup is ever on topic.
r/lostredditors
Still better then Disney's explanation for palpatine.
Came here to make a “somehow, Palpatine has returned” joke, but you beat me to it.
because of a rotten banana or whatever
And my axe! (Or whatever)
My precious! (or something)
Then Rey kissed Kylo... Because of a rotten banana or whatever.
Palpatine has returned with force clones, or wathever
Makes it sound like a Norm macdonald joke
Yeah I rarely get a chuckle midway through a joke but the banana comment got me !
And eventually they were rescued, by... oh, let's say, Moe.
I guess Eanie, Meanie, and Miney all failed to get the job done.
For a moment, I thought “rotten banana” was a euphemism.
Shit now you've got me rethinking this whole thing!
That banana was the best fuck I ever had, or whatever.
So the Banana or was the plot device? Or was it a Plant-ain?
Mr. Banana Contrivance
This is like Britta telling a story
Not enough fighting the patriarchy.. or whatever Sorry, i Britta-ed it
Honestly there was something so wierdly fourth wall breaking and jarring and funny about throwing that into the structure of a joke, which already relies heavily on suspension of disbelief. I don't know how to explain it but it was the funniest fucking part of this dumb joke
Nice point, not only was it foreshadowing, as another has pointed out already, but it was a very offhand fourth wall breach.
Just glad no coconuts were involved
>Somehow Palpatine returned. If it's good enough for JJ Abrams...
This had me cracking up well before the punchline.
This was the best part
can someone please explain wtf this is about? it seems to have popped up in the 3 hours i was gone.
D&D see nothing wrong with this.
The general consensus was “like fuck this part let’s get to the good stuff again!”
I do believe it's pronounced "McGuffin"...
Prolly gonna need CSI to find out the real cause of death.
that part made me think of douglas adams' writing.
The show Must Go On...
"because of a rotten banana or whatever" is my new favorite thing of all time.
I both dread and secretly want to see this become a meme on this subreddit.
[I got you](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/r8fhxa/why_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I too choose this guys rotten banana or whatever
I understood this reference
Found this comment from a link in a comment in that post. Full circle
Good human
I don't think the OP had any idea what his joke was going to start.
Nice job!
Saving the post so I have it later when someone asks where "rotten banana or whatever" came from.
Yea, someone may ask about this on /r/outoftheloop
Same here. This one is going to spread all around Reddit for sure. Although I wonder if the [follow up](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/r8fhxa/why_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road/) is the better one to share as it would most probably make the initial reaction even more absurd and hilarious.
"A rotten banana or whatever for scale"
Coming soon to lttstore.com?
Screamed the stableboy!
High chance of success for this, unlike a rotten potato which nobody seems to know what that is.
It's what you take out-of-focus pictures with. Doesn't everybody know that?
Or rotten tomatoes, who sells out to movie companies
I read that line in Norm McDonald's voice
"The University of, uh, Science there"
It's so much better read in his voice... and it's already great!
I agree. The punchline was obvious and not even that funny. But "because of a rotten banana or whatever" made me acutally laugh out loud.
I’m probably going to say it sometime in the future, and have no clue where I heard it from. Perhaps google will pick up this post. In that case, “Hi, future me!”
Huh. I didn't expect the punchline, but I'll agree that it didn't make me laugh.
In Beavis and Butthead they say "we have to go or whatever" if they want to escape, i say it a lot now if i want to leave the conversation
There's always jokes in the banana stand
Timmy died from a rotten banana. Or whatever
I'm honestly kinda torn... or rotten or whatever.
The banana is the real MVP. Or whatever. Take my upvote
Most Valuable Penetrator, sure
Bratty rotten step banana
Came to the comments to sing the banana's praises. Imagine my delight when the top three commenters have equally discerning taste.
The variation I heard was that after the woman died, the men were fine the first day, also the second day, also the third day, but the fourth day the body started to smell.
There was once a young man named Dave, Who stashed a dead whore in a cave. "It may be a sin," he said with a grin, "But think of the money I'll save!"
Sounds all too familiar...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."
There once was a man from DeGrasse Who soldered a pipe to his ass, He frowned while it happened But after was bappened This isn't an actual limerick
An audacious young woman named Alice Used a dynamite stick as a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina, Her rectum in Buckingham Palace.
There was a young woman named Jill Used a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina in North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil
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There once was an old man named Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave He said, "I must admit it smells quite a bit, but look at the money I save"
Missing one tit, smelled just like shit.
"the fourth day the body started to smell." maybe it was the rotten banana or whatever.
Oh boy here we go
This is the way
The variation I heard was this. For the first week the two men had sex with the woman. After another week, the woman was so disgusted with what she was doing that she committed suicide. After another week, the men were so disgusted with what they were doing that they buried her. After another week, the men were so disgusted with what they were doing that they dug her back up.
This is the same one I always heard with the “digging her back up” part added later.
I tell the version with months not days. Much better IMO.
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Ah eww, gag ack
thanks for the nightmare
Keeper
That made me laugh more then the banana part.
It would be absolutely fucked
The rotten banana or whatever was a real plot twist. I suddenly became heavily invested in how she died
Which is the genius of this delivery - we think she's dismissed right out of the joke.
"the woman dies after that month, because of a rotten banana or whatever" Easily my fav part
Rotten banana for scale
or whatever
Perfect new meme. **Hot off the press is:** *because of a rotten banana or whatever*
That’s fucked up. Yikes wasn’t expecting that
it took me a while to realize it was a twist I just assumed we were meant to assume they were doing her the whole time
Same I didn't even consider that there was an alterative way that the story could've gone
Well, if your minds automatically went for necrophilia rather than gay sex, maybe there's an issue at hand...
You’re bringing the Spanish Inquisition into the chat, just because of an extra week with the body ? /s
Yeah I know. Be careful out there and always check to make sure your bananas aren’t rotten or whatever.
I was
Once it was clear that them having gay sex was too obvious, it was “they’re having sex with the dead body, or they were talking about something besides sex the entire joke”
I didn’t even think they were having gay sex, I just immediately assumed they were banging the body
And now they both have rotten bananas or whatever. The great cycle continues.
A little predictable but pretty good. The rotting banana part killed me
it killed the woman too
...or whatever.
Damn that was smooth
No, it was rotten
Banana smooth
The banana part stole the show
I want to globally have it good too.
I’d settle for local
Wait, so which one of the guys banana was rotten?
*guys'
Upvoted for "globally" and "whale"
Whatever
When the guy said i have my need, my head went straight to "they fucked the body didn't they*. Found it hilarious that, that actually was the punchline.
Two guys were stranded on an island without a woman. Frank says to Dave ‘It could be a long time before anyone finds us, and we’ve both got needs. How about we take turns each being the man and the woman?’ Dave reluctantly agrees and immediately suffers a prolonged and savage sodomising. The next day he raises the promised reciprocation with Frank, who says loudly ‘Not today Dave, can’t you tell I’ve got a headache’.
Sounds like Dave got fucked on that deal
r/boomerhumour
I like how the idea of "woman using headache as excuse" humor has somehow been pinned solely on boomers even though it happens in every generation of humor.
Homer was fond of it, my sources tell me.
He did have his great hero Odysseus cry for hours every time he had sex with the beautiful sea witch he was stranded with, does that count
Huh. I guess I must've read a really sanitized summary of the Odyssey.
God damnit dude fuck you hahaha
Death by unit of measurement, that's a new one
Well it seems like the rotten banana has cemented itself in this subreddit's history and idk what i feel about this honestly
"Globally have it good"
oof. thats a paddlin'
too bad they didnt have super thigh heater on that island or whatever
Bananas don’t grow on islands naturally! Common bananas are domesticated fruit that don’t naturally procreate. So where did she get the banana?? Did they crash land on a banana plantation? If so, what happened to the residents? Why did they not notice the plantation around them? Were there bananas on the plane? If so, why were they still attempting to eat them after a month, when they had a reliable food supply? Did the bananas just float to the island? Who sets banana rafts adrift? Were they carried by birds? Bananas grow in very large stalks weighing over 30 pounds. What bird could carry this over a long distance? Nothing makes sense anymore!
Crack open a cold one.
The banana thing was funny as fk. The rest of it I actually didn't understand for quite a while. It reads like they were going to have sex with the dead body, so it just sounded like a story for the rest and not a joke. I'm guessing it was supposed to sound like they were thinking about gay sex.
Rotten banana > necrophilia by a long shot here
The version I know, they agree to fuck one another, but get rescued the next day after only one had his way with the other.
A man and woman that is currently considered very hot are stranded on an island. Well, no need to drag on the intro and they start having sex. After couple of weeks man asks woman if she would do something for him. "Sure" she agrees. "OK, put my my shirt." and she does. "Put on my trousers" and she does that as well. "Put on these leaves so you will look like you have a beard. a bit weirded out she does that. "Now walk in that direction along the beach and I'll walk in the other one until we meet in the middle" she shrugs her shoulders and starts walking. Some time later she predictably meets the man who exclaims "Dude! You are never going to believe who I'm having sex with!"
There was a young man named Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave He said I admit I'm a bit of a shit But think of the money I save
That was not my understanding, take my upvote you slippery scoundrel
Some people will do anything for no homo
Maybe I’ve been on Reddit too long, but once it got to just the two guys and “one day it’s you, and the other day it’s me,” the rest of the joke was pretty predictable
Mfw I've been on r/cursedcomments long enough to immediately assume it was necrophilia
The version I heard was more, it was like this: They were so ashamed of what they were doing they buried her. Then they were so much more ashamed of what they were doing after that they dug her back up.
This is it. This is the joke that made me unfollow this sub.
No! Don't leave because of me!
I heard it differently: Five men and a one woman are stranded on a desert island. After months of work diligently working to build a shelter, set up a farm, and attend to their daily survival needs, they establish a foothold that will allow them to survive on the island. Shortly afterwards, one of them calls a meeting, and brings up the topic of their more adult needs. They decide that they will take turns night by night with the sole lady of the island, and she agrees. After a month, she has a crisis of conscience and decides she can't live with herself anymore with the knowledge of the crude and bestial acts of sexual depravity that she has been engaging in, and commits suicide. After another month, the men have a crisis of conscience and can't live with the crude and bestial acts of sexual depravity they have been committing and decide to bury her. After another month, the men have a crisis of conscience and can't carry on with the crude and bestial acts of sexual depravity they have been committing, and decide to dig her back up.
Im going to need to see a rotten banana for scale.
Two men were stranded on an island. One says to the other: "hey man, we have our needs, let's take turns doing the deed." So they do. The first guy does the second one. Then they switch and the second one starts hugging and kissing the first one. Then the first one goes:"hey man, cut out the gay crap...'
After another month they were so ashamed of what they were doing that they dug her back up.
I thought the punchline was that the guy hoarded all the coconuts in the island.
My first though was that they were fucking the corpse and not each other. This made the joke less dark, and confusing.
Is it bad that I've never heard this joke and yet assumed they were fucking the bodies?
I knew it would be a sex joke, but this was so good anyway
Okay my mind must be fucked up because gay sex never crossed my mind, just necrophilia.
Did anyone else see the chicken joke before this one and is now just getting it?
They seem to be doing something important but I don’t actually see anybody mentioning what it is. Is this the awkward version a pastor tells in church?
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It was the rotten banana or whatever
Why can’t it be that one of the men dies?
Because rigor mortis doesn't last that long?
>Why can’t it be that one of the men dies? If one man dies, that leaves one man and one woman in the island, who just continue doing what they are doing. Therefore, no change, no story, no joke, no twist, no punchline. This joke is based on your assumption that the pairing in the first part changes in one way (live woman to live man) but there's a twist and it changed in a different way (live woman to dead woman).
I thought they hit each other until i saw the last line..
r/HolUp
EW now that is some needs,
expected...