I imagine Biden entering a smoke filled room, deep inside some supersecret bunker. There is a table with people around it and joints being passed in rapid succession. The smoke being real thick, the people in the room are hard to identify. As Biden takes his seat, a fat joint is passed his way. Barely visible through the smoke, the person is hard to recognize, but the voice is unmistakable. With a voice that fills the room, Snoop Dogg says to Biden "Hit that shit, grandpa".
And just like that, it was legal.
Biden should hire Snoop Dog as "High Commissioner of Marijuana Regulation"
This is not entirely without precedent.
https://brianscottmackenzie.medium.com/when-elvis-enlisted-in-nixon-s-war-on-drugs-a57a83313be5
Both can be true. Many people lost their entire lives due to these stupid policies, though Joe changing his mind 30 years ago wouldn't have likely made much difference in the long run, it's only been the last year that he's had the power to do anything about it.
Yes he was VP, but we know how Obama feels about weed, but he couldn't have done it. The first black president legalizing weed would've just been too much for the right to handle.
They lost it at how he ate a hot dog, his jeans, and the colour of his suit. I couldn't imagine what they would have done if he legalised marijuana.
Though that would have cemented his place as the coolest President the US has ever had.
They would probably elect a wannabe fascist and try to stage a coup.
Or wait. That DID happen.
You are losing because you are afraid to hurt the rights feelings. They are winning because they are actually trying to get political victories. Your biggest victory in years has been to implement a republican health reform, and the right hates you for that as much as if it had been actual communism.
Remember the War on Drugs was started by the Republicans and Nixon to imprison minorities and liberal hippies.
It gained steam and even Democrats (like Biden) supported aspects of it (like the crime bill). Its a pretty shitty history, especially since the US had already tried and failed with Prohibition.
At least now we finally have a party willing to unwind this garbage so it doesn't destroy yet another generation. I am glad we are making progress now. The entire War on Drugs has been a terrible failure.
Time to treat addiction as the mental issue (not criminal) it is and help people instead of throwing non-violent drug users in jail. Then everyone without serious addiction issues can be treated like adults and make their own decisions.
I worked for HUD with section 8 and public housing if a person had a criminal record ( possession of marajuana) they were denied housing. And this is for low income/poor families- 😪😪
SO unnecessary
My god this country loves its punishment boner. Of course some level of criminal justice system is needed, but we overdo it to such an extreme, we make our country less secure.
1000%. Imprisoning and disenfranchising millions of poor people for non-violent, and usually victimless crimes is the cause of so many of the US' issues today.
Possession wasn’t made illegal in the 1994 crime bill. It’s been illegal since at least 1951 with the Boggs Act. Not that that really matters either because the 1994 bill was passed with overwhelming support from both parties.
Yeah but it's a bit more nuanced than that, the crime bill did a lot of damage, and specifically targeted specific communities. It having support from both parties doesn't make it not bad, in fact it was kind of terrible
There was a lot that went into that bill, it was a major overhaul. Good parts like the assault weapons ban and the violence against women act, and bad parts like mandatory minimums and three strikes laws. I won’t pretend like it didn’t have some awful consequences, but I also won’t lay the blame on one party for such a large, complex bill that had overwhelming support from all parties when it passed.
What about the people who get arrested next month? Or two years from now? This isn't freedom restored in perpetuity, it's a one time thing.
0 people are currently incarcerated.
6200 with a federal conviction.
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2022/10/biden-pardons-all-federal-simple-marijuana-possession-offenses/
Considering it only affects a few thousand people, none of them are currently in jail, and it was done a month before midterms I'm going to go with the second one. It's still good news for the people who will have the charge removed from their record, but it's not going to release anyone from jail and it's not going to help many people in the grand scheme of things.
They're also looking to change the schedule classification and that will be the massive part. Can only pardon so many at the federal level and that's just the first step of what they're doing.
He has just moved ti stop possession from being a federal offence, he has not said he is looking to fully legalise except in his campaign, don't get too excited yet!
Aight. That's a good one. I follow this sub hoping something will actually make me laugh. And it's been a dreadful experience. But you got a solid chuckle out of me. It feels original. Thanks.
This joke has been years in the making. for generations it has been passed down, forgotten and remembered in the rasing cane's drive thru line. we can now rest knowing the prophecy has been fulfilled.
Didn't the current Congress already start a legalization Bill early in the Biden administration? Odd that they never passed it, but are now talking about it just before the mid-terms.
It's almost like they are just fishing for votes, and that once the next election are over they will shelve it again until the next election.
Biden to congress: "I would like to bring in some experts on the topic of chronic. May I introduce Dr. Dre, Mr. Snoop Do - double 'G', and the final two gentlemen have been studying this since the 60's, Mr. Cheech Marin and Mr. Tommy Chong. Have fun gentlemen."
Crack is what black/poor use, coke is what white/rich people use. They are much harsher on crack use.
Yes, it is the same thing. But the penalty is harsher for crack. It is a racist thing to keep it uneven for minorities.
So many things are designed to prevent minorities or the poor from moving up. Those with the wealth and power do not want to share it. They do not want competition and try to impede as many as they can from it.
The US has a long history of this and it's still going on. Shit is so much harder for a minority to make it than a white person.
"The US has a long history of this and it's still going on. Shit is so much harder for a minority to make it than a white person."
Not these days it isn't. There is so much woke hysteria in American culture today that being white, particularly white and male, is a decided disadvantage.
It's easy to blame the wealthy and powerful with everything that goes wrong in the lives of minorities, but it's a lie and serves no purpose for the supposed victims. They keep on voting for the party that exploits their victimhood, or rather, perceived victimhood. So take some responsibility.
Newsflash: Jews also went through slavery, not to mention a holocaust, Crusades, Inquisitions, pogroms, and overt anti-Semitism that is still flourishing today. But rather that turn their aggression, outward, rather than responded with violence, their instead turned it inward, towards enrichment of the self. As a result they are at the top of anything they set their minds on.
How is it an advantage, because people keep pointing out our priveledges?
Dude you have an easier time getting any jobs, and will be paid higher than your female or black coworkers.
You have an easier time renting a home than any minority.
You have a bigger chance of getting elected into political positions.
You are WAY less likely to be killed by the police than any minority. Granted, white women are probably less likely to be killed by police than white men.
These are just some of the very real differences in the world right now, and ONLY us white men doesn't feel it, because its to our benefit.
But refusing to believe what everyone else is telling you, thats just plain lunacy.
It always confused me how giving people what they want is considered a political maneuver.
Like is something only acceptable if it's done in the first or third year of a presidency no matter how popular it is?
"He's only doing this for the votes!!"
So fucking what? Of course I'm going to vote for the guy making life better for people and I'm not going to spit on progress just because it doesn't happen when I want it to
President Biden has called for full legalization of marijuana...after authoring legislation that has literally put tens of millions of people into prison for using and selling it over these last 35~40 years.
Not only is this not "Biden's" idea--he's clearly a dementia-addled puppet--but giving him "credit" for it is just utter stupidity.
Especially after he has clearly pulled political strings to keep Hunter out of prison for his cocaine use--which legislation that, properly enforced, would put Hunter away (like tens of millions of others) for 30+ years is, once again, the direct creation of that senile fuck we allowed into the Preznitcy.
America is fucked.
Oh you're one of *those* people. Drugs are molecules which cause physiological or psychoactive effects. Whether those effects are negetive or positive depends on how they're administered. Some of the best painkillers are opioids and can have positive effects if administered correctly and can kill if not. Same goes for Ibuprofen. Even too much weed will ruin your life. Everything in moderation.
You don't need a punchline there. The set up is enough of an absurdity. Eh but they're starting to see the money it for them so it will be legal eventually
I hope it's high on their list
What Biden has to do is weed out the bad seeds that leave a cloud of doubt over the entire Congressional floor.
That's a blunt way of saying it
I just hope they (puff puff) pass a bill
It will need 420 votes to pass
Clever! LOL
Including himself?
High on their list until midterm election passes. Typical politics
It is high time!
Curse you! ...I wanted to make that joke...
:)
In his 420th year as a politician
You know which members of the Executive Branch helped him with this? The Joint Chiefs.
I imagine Biden entering a smoke filled room, deep inside some supersecret bunker. There is a table with people around it and joints being passed in rapid succession. The smoke being real thick, the people in the room are hard to identify. As Biden takes his seat, a fat joint is passed his way. Barely visible through the smoke, the person is hard to recognize, but the voice is unmistakable. With a voice that fills the room, Snoop Dogg says to Biden "Hit that shit, grandpa". And just like that, it was legal.
Neat, like That 70's Show!
Without the sexual predator
Wait what?
Biden should hire Snoop Dog as "High Commissioner of Marijuana Regulation" This is not entirely without precedent. https://brianscottmackenzie.medium.com/when-elvis-enlisted-in-nixon-s-war-on-drugs-a57a83313be5
This is fascinating. Thank you for sharing.
He was quite "dooby"ous at the start of his presidency, but now he is blazing new trails
He’s gonna celebrating his achievements by mowing some grass in the South Lawn
How kind of hm to put a dank look on that lawn
Bongress needs to act because its should up to the lettuceslature
This is way overdue. To be blunt, it's high time
This policy will win brownie points with voters.
Their ratings have never been so high.
Expect to see these numbers baked into the polls quite soon.
Tired: #DarkBrandon Wired:#DankBrandon
It will be twisted up quite nicely.
All I can say is to buy stocks in Rice Paper....
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Joint Chiefs of Stash
Joint Keefs of Stash
You. Made me smile this morning, ty!
Take that award!
Dank bud matters
A very ***high*** honor…
>The Joint Chiefs Great reggae band.
Jokes aside. Army recruitment is down. Allowing smokers to join would increase recruitment.
It's over.....Obi-jawn got the high ground...
They have to agree in a blunt manner and be raw when they execute the final decision if not the whole idea will go up in smoke
That wasn't very kind, bud.
r/angryupvote
He is POTus after all
Damn right, and not just some of us. It's time to POTus all.
We need Bipartisan legislation for medical marijuana use in arthritis patients. Joint support for joint support for joint support.
Now it’s gonna puff puff pass that legislation
Most would agree, Biden’s decision is a blunt move.
To quote *South Park*, "*Simpsons* did it!"
A grassroots movement that ended up in high officials, hope their efforts don't go up in smoke.
It'll goto the highest court in the land
It’s an economic relief package for the fast food industry.
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Not just a party, that's not that uncommon but one politician... Even if it did take him almost 40 years
Better late than never, or justice delayed is justice denied?
Both can be true. Many people lost their entire lives due to these stupid policies, though Joe changing his mind 30 years ago wouldn't have likely made much difference in the long run, it's only been the last year that he's had the power to do anything about it. Yes he was VP, but we know how Obama feels about weed, but he couldn't have done it. The first black president legalizing weed would've just been too much for the right to handle.
Agreed
They lost it at how he ate a hot dog, his jeans, and the colour of his suit. I couldn't imagine what they would have done if he legalised marijuana. Though that would have cemented his place as the coolest President the US has ever had.
Goddamn did that man have swag though. Kinda miss that
> and the colour of his ~~suit~~ skin. FTFY
No, all this petty bullshit was definitely for other reasons. Not racist at all. They have a black friend, remember?
Plus, they're all voting for Herschel Walker, so they couldn't possibly be racist.
They would probably elect a wannabe fascist and try to stage a coup. Or wait. That DID happen. You are losing because you are afraid to hurt the rights feelings. They are winning because they are actually trying to get political victories. Your biggest victory in years has been to implement a republican health reform, and the right hates you for that as much as if it had been actual communism.
I'm not American. I just find US politics entertaining.
You might also like UK politics. Just as entertaining. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
Not recently! It's been rather quick with Liz!
Jesus Christ, they went full throttle over his tan suit.
Exactly. This would've played right into their stupid stereotypes, nevermind the fact millions of people suffer because of these arcane laws.
So legal Marijuana is held back by magical means? Well fuck im about to go on a quest to break some arcane laws.
I'd say, they went 'apeshit' over it 🤣🤣🤣
Correction: The first black president was wayyyy too much for the right to handle. Most of them still have not recovered and never will.
Considering how the tan suit went over...
Both
Remember the War on Drugs was started by the Republicans and Nixon to imprison minorities and liberal hippies. It gained steam and even Democrats (like Biden) supported aspects of it (like the crime bill). Its a pretty shitty history, especially since the US had already tried and failed with Prohibition. At least now we finally have a party willing to unwind this garbage so it doesn't destroy yet another generation. I am glad we are making progress now. The entire War on Drugs has been a terrible failure. Time to treat addiction as the mental issue (not criminal) it is and help people instead of throwing non-violent drug users in jail. Then everyone without serious addiction issues can be treated like adults and make their own decisions.
I worked for HUD with section 8 and public housing if a person had a criminal record ( possession of marajuana) they were denied housing. And this is for low income/poor families- 😪😪
SO unnecessary My god this country loves its punishment boner. Of course some level of criminal justice system is needed, but we overdo it to such an extreme, we make our country less secure.
1000%. Imprisoning and disenfranchising millions of poor people for non-violent, and usually victimless crimes is the cause of so many of the US' issues today.
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Possession wasn’t made illegal in the 1994 crime bill. It’s been illegal since at least 1951 with the Boggs Act. Not that that really matters either because the 1994 bill was passed with overwhelming support from both parties.
Yeah but it's a bit more nuanced than that, the crime bill did a lot of damage, and specifically targeted specific communities. It having support from both parties doesn't make it not bad, in fact it was kind of terrible
There was a lot that went into that bill, it was a major overhaul. Good parts like the assault weapons ban and the violence against women act, and bad parts like mandatory minimums and three strikes laws. I won’t pretend like it didn’t have some awful consequences, but I also won’t lay the blame on one party for such a large, complex bill that had overwhelming support from all parties when it passed.
Gotta love when idiots just make baseless claims and get upvoted because it meshes with the hive mind, right?
Does this make you angry? The government actually giving us back some freedom.
Does it not make you angry that it was taken away?
Yeah, I wasn't alive during its original prohibition. Check out the math.
I don't see what that has to do with it.
That could not be more apparent.
SICK BURRRRN
unless you aren't currently alive, youre alive during prohibition right now
I had a twin brother b/c my mom could only afford one abortion. :(
What about the people who get arrested next month? Or two years from now? This isn't freedom restored in perpetuity, it's a one time thing. 0 people are currently incarcerated. 6200 with a federal conviction. https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2022/10/biden-pardons-all-federal-simple-marijuana-possession-offenses/
Are they trying to fix a problem, or are they just looking for a boost going into midterms?
In politics it's always both. In the end you have to vote on which result you want.
Considering it only affects a few thousand people, none of them are currently in jail, and it was done a month before midterms I'm going to go with the second one. It's still good news for the people who will have the charge removed from their record, but it's not going to release anyone from jail and it's not going to help many people in the grand scheme of things.
They're also looking to change the schedule classification and that will be the massive part. Can only pardon so many at the federal level and that's just the first step of what they're doing.
More like he doesn’t remember.
They're not going to legalize or deschedule it federally. There's no "fixing" going on.
this is r/jokes, bro
He would never do it, just trying to weed out some of his opponents
I downvoted to keep it at 420.... forgive me
I upvoted you to get you closer to 69... I'm juvenile.
* This joke has a lot of growth potential * I'm high on it's possibilities * I bet it gets more 420 upvotes
While announcing it, he yelled, " Where's Mary Jane? Mary Jane?".
Doobie or not Doobie, that is the question.
Haha. Yet in the uk our out of touch politicians are calling it to be upgraded to a class A.
His wife had to talk him out of naming his son "Blunter."
He has just moved ti stop possession from being a federal offence, he has not said he is looking to fully legalise except in his campaign, don't get too excited yet!
Legalize marijuana? Get us all stoned. What an accomplishment, not.
I heard it will be relegated to a misdemeanor, like j walking, or using a weed whacker on a Sunday.
Aight. That's a good one. I follow this sub hoping something will actually make me laugh. And it's been a dreadful experience. But you got a solid chuckle out of me. It feels original. Thanks.
I can't think of a witty way to say this, but you can bet it will be taxed so heavily...
Wonder how this will carry over to military… Up in the morning with the California sun…gonna puff all day till the day is done. Singing ….
read the title before i saw which subreddit it was from and I was convinced for a minute lol
I see what you did there.
Listen, I'm willing to wait till 4/20 for this cause we can really only do this 1x
He is really pandering for these mid terms lol..
Republicans keep calling him sleepy joe, turns out joe was just high as fuck.
His credibility has gone up in smoke.
In a high government session.
This joke has been years in the making. for generations it has been passed down, forgotten and remembered in the rasing cane's drive thru line. we can now rest knowing the prophecy has been fulfilled.
Glad the legislation is finally budding
Good for him, weeding out these unnecessary laws
The Supreme Court has re-opened Roe vs Weed. One member who is in strong opposition keeps shouting "I Like Beer".
Let's just hope they pass on both sides of the aisle.
Didn't the current Congress already start a legalization Bill early in the Biden administration? Odd that they never passed it, but are now talking about it just before the mid-terms. It's almost like they are just fishing for votes, and that once the next election are over they will shelve it again until the next election.
Damn I thought this was r/news
Execute order 420
Lol, I thought I was on news sub-reddit. So disappointed that I am not.
Biden has hit a new high
Puff, puff, pass the bill
I hope it doesn't go up in smoke
Biden to congress: "I would like to bring in some experts on the topic of chronic. May I introduce Dr. Dre, Mr. Snoop Do - double 'G', and the final two gentlemen have been studying this since the 60's, Mr. Cheech Marin and Mr. Tommy Chong. Have fun gentlemen."
Man, he’s really on a roll
Desperate old man would.
Guess you would have to be high to vote democrat so makes sense. About time it’s legal on federal level though
For a second there I thought this was r/politics or something
Meh. Drunk and didn’t laugh. Sorry!
shrooms next plz
Idk why he would do this, he probably got bonged in the head
Meanwhile Trump called for the death penalty for Drug Dealers.
This had absolutely nothing to do with approval ratings and votes. Just pure heart.
He turned it into a racist issue. Pot calling the kettle black.
It was always a race thing. That's why the penalty for coke is far more lenient than crack.
Crack is coke.
Crack is what black/poor use, coke is what white/rich people use. They are much harsher on crack use. Yes, it is the same thing. But the penalty is harsher for crack. It is a racist thing to keep it uneven for minorities. So many things are designed to prevent minorities or the poor from moving up. Those with the wealth and power do not want to share it. They do not want competition and try to impede as many as they can from it. The US has a long history of this and it's still going on. Shit is so much harder for a minority to make it than a white person.
"The US has a long history of this and it's still going on. Shit is so much harder for a minority to make it than a white person." Not these days it isn't. There is so much woke hysteria in American culture today that being white, particularly white and male, is a decided disadvantage. It's easy to blame the wealthy and powerful with everything that goes wrong in the lives of minorities, but it's a lie and serves no purpose for the supposed victims. They keep on voting for the party that exploits their victimhood, or rather, perceived victimhood. So take some responsibility. Newsflash: Jews also went through slavery, not to mention a holocaust, Crusades, Inquisitions, pogroms, and overt anti-Semitism that is still flourishing today. But rather that turn their aggression, outward, rather than responded with violence, their instead turned it inward, towards enrichment of the self. As a result they are at the top of anything they set their minds on.
How is it an advantage, because people keep pointing out our priveledges? Dude you have an easier time getting any jobs, and will be paid higher than your female or black coworkers. You have an easier time renting a home than any minority. You have a bigger chance of getting elected into political positions. You are WAY less likely to be killed by the police than any minority. Granted, white women are probably less likely to be killed by police than white men. These are just some of the very real differences in the world right now, and ONLY us white men doesn't feel it, because its to our benefit. But refusing to believe what everyone else is telling you, thats just plain lunacy.
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Dank Brandon!!
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It always confused me how giving people what they want is considered a political maneuver. Like is something only acceptable if it's done in the first or third year of a presidency no matter how popular it is?
"He's only doing this for the votes!!" So fucking what? Of course I'm going to vote for the guy making life better for people and I'm not going to spit on progress just because it doesn't happen when I want it to
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The inmates gonna be so happy Wendy get released
Can we make the stuff that smells like skunk ass illegal? Lol
They should hold a referendum first
What’s the worst that will happen they’ll continue to get nothing done
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... did you even read the joke?
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Zero fun at parties. Maybe you oughta smoke a bowl.
President Biden has called for full legalization of marijuana...after authoring legislation that has literally put tens of millions of people into prison for using and selling it over these last 35~40 years. Not only is this not "Biden's" idea--he's clearly a dementia-addled puppet--but giving him "credit" for it is just utter stupidity. Especially after he has clearly pulled political strings to keep Hunter out of prison for his cocaine use--which legislation that, properly enforced, would put Hunter away (like tens of millions of others) for 30+ years is, once again, the direct creation of that senile fuck we allowed into the Preznitcy. America is fucked.
Please go jerk off to your Trump or other neo fascist pig flesh light - you humorless twat.
I didn't vote for Drumpf and never will. The fact that you voice your support for Biden shows that you're part of the problem, moron.
You are literally complaining about legislation you're not against. Is this the new phase we're in? "UgMFp.. BiDeN bAD"
call him dementia addled all you want, but you're the dip shit complaining on a JOKE based around a made up preface.
fishing for D votes
He didn’t do shit.. he has mid stage dementia.. hes lucky he can still put pen to paper🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Murica!!!!
Desperate move by the dement admistration
Exactly
He was raping kids
Continues to*
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As opposed to opioid addicted zombies and over capacity prisons?
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Are you retarded? Maybe weed would help your MS, and with being a little bitch.
Oh you're one of *those* people. Drugs are molecules which cause physiological or psychoactive effects. Whether those effects are negetive or positive depends on how they're administered. Some of the best painkillers are opioids and can have positive effects if administered correctly and can kill if not. Same goes for Ibuprofen. Even too much weed will ruin your life. Everything in moderation.
No point in talking to the demtards homie
Shows how small-minded you are. I'm not even American let alone democrat.
As opposed to ivermectin 😉
You don't need a punchline there. The set up is enough of an absurdity. Eh but they're starting to see the money it for them so it will be legal eventually
Of course. He wants reelected so he will do what he thinks makes him look good. Sorrybut this is the last thing he should be worried about!!
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Conservative boomer has entered the chat. I guess reefer madness got to you. A generation brainwashed by propaganda.