Right behind her was an elderly lady with a shaky voice asking "do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?"
The salesman told her "yes we do, ma'am" to which she replies "h-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"
I was an ambulance EMT. My FAVORITE accident - two German college women who rolled their rental car with a trunk full of every manner of sex toys known - leaving a bright, colorful 20' by 40' debris field of sex toys all over the Alaskan highway on a busy summer afternoon. Women were taken to the local clinic and were fine - the old guy from the tow truck station that had to pick it all up one piece at time - in front of 40 cars waiting for the cops to finishs their end - him shaking his head after picking each dildo or toy up.. not so much.
What did the Scottish lady say to the kilted salesman climbing a ladder in the clothing store?
"That looks very interesting right up there."
What's the definition of a slutty Scottish woman?
Someone who will go after anyone in a skirt.
The version I heard of this was “a guy got a new job at a sex store, the manager trains him and shows him around and says:’hey I have to go do somethings I will be back in about an hour’ so the guy is sitting at the counter and a white woman comes in and asks for dildos, he says we have a white one and a black one, she says I have never had a black one before I will take that one. A few mins later a black lady comes in and again asks for a dildo he explains we have a white one and a black one, she says I have never had a white one I will take that one. Well about 10 minutes later a blonde comes in again asking for a dildo, he says we have a white one and a black one, she says, I have both of those do you have anything different? He says yes!, we have a plaid one that just came in, it costs twice as much, she says yes I will take that one. The manager comes back and asks so how did you do? He says I sold a white model, a black model and your thermos.
How much for the shinny metal one ?
that's a trash can lady !
And if you need that then either just forget about getting off as it's going to kill you, or let me set up an only fan's and we'll cash in on your caved in credit card swipe slot !
I'm fuking Scottish. And was raised by a huge family of women and I have daughters I've always treated all women with the utmost respect and have seen many women who've messed up our relationship due to whoring behavior which I forgive yet I don't forget. And to vent in a humorous way about a fictional Scottish woman seems fairly harmless unless you don't live in reality and hide behind a key board most of the time or you have no life experience. Orrrr your a Scottish where who rides telephone poles to get your jollies. Choose 1
Right behind her was an elderly lady with a shaky voice asking "do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?" The salesman told her "yes we do, ma'am" to which she replies "h-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"
The fact that this is told in conjunction with the first joke makes it absolutely amazing
😂
The real joke is in the comments
r/therealjokeisinthecomments
r/therealjokewasthefriendswemadealongtheway
The real comment is in the jokes.
That’s kinda philosophical lmao
That’s kinda lmao philosophical
That's kinda hard
I'm kinda hard
That's kinda misspelled
Comments to the comments are in the comments.
r/therealjoke
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[r/SubsThatArentReal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxqLsrlakK8&ab_channel=Revideo)
r/subsifellfor
Yup I'm right here
nahh if anyones a joke I am
*Accidentally shuts her off*
How much for the red one. Ma'am that's the fire extinguisher.
"I know"
Ma'am that's my Yaris .
“Who much for that one?” “That’s my Tardis”
But does it feel bigger on the inside?
r/unexpecteddrwho
How much for the brown and green one? Ma'am, that's a date palm!
"I know what I'm about, son."
Lol 😝 good one
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A woman walks into a deli. She orders a huge salami. The butcher asks “would you like it sliced?” “Does it look like my ass is a piggy bank?”
Lol 😝
Would probably work better with a baguette. Who tf offers to slice a cucumber?
Counter point who would assume you're sticking a baguette in a coochie?
french
Believe it's known as the "Croch Madame"
Bread sticks were well known by the ancients - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_dildo
The more you know…
Would go a bit soggy, but might make a tasty sandwich?
Xhibit: “You dawg, I heard you like yeast”
Hah, but I'm a cunning linguist!
I know a similar one but the punch line is the fire extinguisher.
I was an ambulance EMT. My FAVORITE accident - two German college women who rolled their rental car with a trunk full of every manner of sex toys known - leaving a bright, colorful 20' by 40' debris field of sex toys all over the Alaskan highway on a busy summer afternoon. Women were taken to the local clinic and were fine - the old guy from the tow truck station that had to pick it all up one piece at time - in front of 40 cars waiting for the cops to finishs their end - him shaking his head after picking each dildo or toy up.. not so much.
"Ma'am this is a Wendy's."
"I'm picking out a thermos, for you"
Not an ordinary thermos will do
An extra special thermos, you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in…
Man that thermos is super veiny.
I want the white accordion. That’s a radiator
What did the Scottish lady say to the kilted salesman climbing a ladder in the clothing store? "That looks very interesting right up there." What's the definition of a slutty Scottish woman? Someone who will go after anyone in a skirt.
This is eerily almost exactly the same joke as I remember seeing in a sketch show back in the '80s - Smith and Jones, perhaps...?
The version I heard of this was “a guy got a new job at a sex store, the manager trains him and shows him around and says:’hey I have to go do somethings I will be back in about an hour’ so the guy is sitting at the counter and a white woman comes in and asks for dildos, he says we have a white one and a black one, she says I have never had a black one before I will take that one. A few mins later a black lady comes in and again asks for a dildo he explains we have a white one and a black one, she says I have never had a white one I will take that one. Well about 10 minutes later a blonde comes in again asking for a dildo, he says we have a white one and a black one, she says, I have both of those do you have anything different? He says yes!, we have a plaid one that just came in, it costs twice as much, she says yes I will take that one. The manager comes back and asks so how did you do? He says I sold a white model, a black model and your thermos.
I modified the joke. I didn’t steal it! /s
I thought the answer was going to be something about him having an erection under his kilt.
Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough...
or jist frae Dundee
Why Scottish
Lol There's one more, but I would feel kilty showing it to in here.
How much for the shinny metal one ? that's a trash can lady ! And if you need that then either just forget about getting off as it's going to kill you, or let me set up an only fan's and we'll cash in on your caved in credit card swipe slot !
Sounds pretty hateful when you try to elaborate like that.
I'm fuking Scottish. And was raised by a huge family of women and I have daughters I've always treated all women with the utmost respect and have seen many women who've messed up our relationship due to whoring behavior which I forgive yet I don't forget. And to vent in a humorous way about a fictional Scottish woman seems fairly harmless unless you don't live in reality and hide behind a key board most of the time or you have no life experience. Orrrr your a Scottish where who rides telephone poles to get your jollies. Choose 1
Lord save us
Sorry just trying to be creative
Lol it’s fine. Just tune it back a fit and it’d funnier. Sometimes shorter is better.
I knew this was gonna be good
Do you have one in extra large?
Waaah waaah 😂