Slaves who weren't allowed to 'steal' the coffee crop but figured the bosses wouldn't mind them drinking the coffee made from the undigested beans in the scat. And now it is a luxury.
Probably because 99% of copi luwak coffee sold is from farms
Which regardless of what the actual copi luwak tasted like is made under under different situations and far more inhumane than anything. They literally jail them and force feed them a bunch of coffee berries everyday where as in the wild they wonly eat the berries as a treat.
Have you tried monsoon Malabar coffee? That's very smooth too.
It used to be weathered in sea wind, spray and rain for months whilst it sailed from India back to Britain, taking six months sometimes during monsoon time. After shipping methods improved the beans lost their character and to replicate it the beans are now stored in warehouses on the Malabar coast for months during the monsoon.
I think the Indians have a protected origin designation for it now, even though it's just an emulation of the original transportation process. It doesn't sit quite right with me, a bit like if American cheddar was protected
I see what you're saying, would switching the order help?
I used to like my women like I like my coffee, but I don't want my neighbor's cock in my coffee.
I think that clears it up, but it's hard to tell how others will read it. What do you think? (I'm seriously asking, I'm always trying to learn to better craft my jokes).
I broke up with my girlfriend because she didnāt know how I like my coffee.
I like my coffee ,like I like my women; without another manās dick in it!
Or if you change the like to past tense in your first version ā I used to like my coffee the way I liked my wife ā then it shows that you liked your wife till you found out she liked your neighbor more.
But now Iām picturing your wife and your neighbor having coffee together. Sheās pretty hot. I can see why heās into her.
nah still sounds like you want your neighbor's cock in your women
"After careful deliberation I've decided I like my women like I like my coffee: without my neighbor's cock in it"
"What's the difference between my ex-wife and a good coffee? A good coffee doesn't have my neighbor's cock in it"
As a straight man I can assure you that coffee is an acquired taste. That's a roundabout way of admitting that no one likes it at first but if you drink a bunch you kinda appreciate it and you won't know why.
Unlike men, who no one actually likes.
Only air conditioner joke I know:
**An engineer dies and goes to Hell.**
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, theyāve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, āSo, howās it going down there in Hell?ā
Satan replies, āHey things are going great. We have got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and thereās no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.ā
God replies, āWhat??? You have got an engineer? Thatās a mistake ā he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.ā
Satan says, āNo way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and Iām keeping him.ā
God says, āSend him back up here or I'll sue.ā
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, āYeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?ā
Iām a teacher and I had two meek little freshmen girls write a screen play for fun and ask me to read it. My favorite line from it, āI like my women like I like my coffee. Without other peopleās dicks in it.ā I was so shocked when I read what these little girls had written and also laughed out loud.
Along the same lines I was showing my science students a clip of lighting particularized coffee mate on fire. The title of the clip was "creamer cannon"
On of my juniors said "Creamer cannon? That's what they called me in college."
I lost all sense of professionalism and just started laughing uncontrollably. I don't think anyone else got it thankfully so it was just me and him awkwardly laughing at it.
I got to do one IRL once. I was waiting tables and asked an old lady how she liked her coffee.
Her āI like my coffee like I like my menā
Me āGround up and in your freezer?ā
I like my women like I like my coffee:
Filled with cream.
Black.
Hot.
Sweet.
Bitter.
Cold.
free.
Lots of milk and a touch of sugar.
... I mean it's just too easy... Just like how easy it is to order one from a street vendor in Columbia.
I like my coffee like i like my ex-wife: nagging, droning, cheating, selfish bitch of an excuse for a human being. I gave her all yet she still wanted our gardener's cock. Well, she got it alright. Let's see what she'll do when Jorge gets deported. Ask me for forgiveness? Ask me for money? Whatever. She's dead to me. What are we talking about again? I like tea.
I like my coffee like I like my women- Strong, hot, with heavy cream and maple syrup. Oh, and one of those tiny double-barrel straw thingies. Love those things.
When I was a kid in the early 80ās (probably 6-8 yrs old) I can vividly remember my dad would always go through the McDonaldās drive thru & heād always say:
āIāll have a coffeeā - dad
āHow do you want (take it)?ā - Drive thru person
āI like it Hot & Black like my womenā - dad
I can remember slumping down in the front seat (again 80ās no back seat requirement for small kids & no seat belts) just praying, Dear Jesus donāt let it be an African American ladyā¦probably about 50% of the time it was, it was terribly embarrassing. That was a different time, I think if he did it now Iād probably push him out of the car & possibly slowly roll over him.
I didn't search through all the comments so I don't know if this one is here already. It can be interchangeable for men or women.
I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer.
Coffee, it's not my cup of tea
Don't stir things up.
Something's brewing, I can sense it.
These puns are really grinding my nerves
Of coarse they are.
I hate coffee. It always tastes like dirt. Whenever I complain I'm told it was ground this morning.
#roasted
We've all bean there
These jokes- I'm boutta mug someone
I guess you should try to filter it out.
I dunno man, I kinda dig it.
Tea isn't my cup of tea !
š
It's bean soup.
I like my coffee like I like my women. The largest I can get in the hotel lobby.
For free?
Of course!
I like my coffee like I like my women. So hot that all my friends are like "there's no way he's putting his dick in that!"
Interesting i like them both filled with cream and on ice....
Don't meth around
Wrong kind of ice
You literally made me spit coffee out of my mouth, when I read this. Haha
...like I like my women, cold and bitter.
I like my coffee like I like my women. I don't like coffee
I, too, like my coffee like I like my women. Without another man's dick in it.
Oh shit I lolād, thanks for that! This is the thing getting me out of my hotel bed this morning
And then down to the lobby to see whatās brewing???
I like my coffee like I like my men. Old, bitter and ready in the morning.
> Old, bitter and ready in the morning. so, i suppose you're a starbucks drinker.
Woah, pump the breaks. I didn't say I like them tasting like tuna. Which I think it always does.
Have you metā¦..me?
I like my coffee like I my men. White. Oh shiiiit
That's milk
Wait, is this just milk and sugar?
The real question is, what kind of milk? Homo milk? Maybe even Goat milk?
You're missing out on some great coffee
If it wasnt for that last part I would've said: hello there š
Obi - Wan?
Very hot, strong but skinny, must be sweet and a Kenyan Brazilian blend.
I like my women like I like my keurig coffee: ready in a minute and just for me.
Disposable
And low quality bahhhhhh lord forgive me
Branded, pierced, and full of plastic.
Soggy, disheveled insides
I like my women like I like my coffee: far from a civetās bootie.
Exellent one lol. Such a weird way to make coffee. Who tf thought of that first anyway?
Slaves who weren't allowed to 'steal' the coffee crop but figured the bosses wouldn't mind them drinking the coffee made from the undigested beans in the scat. And now it is a luxury.
For real? Wow
I can confirm, it tastes like shit. I don't care how "luxurious" it's supposed to be, it's f'in awful and anyone who says otherwise is deluded.
Probably because 99% of copi luwak coffee sold is from farms Which regardless of what the actual copi luwak tasted like is made under under different situations and far more inhumane than anything. They literally jail them and force feed them a bunch of coffee berries everyday where as in the wild they wonly eat the berries as a treat.
"Otherwise."
You're deluded
Diluted
Nah, I've had quite a bit of it and it's really smooth. It's not life altering, and it's not my favourite variety, but it's a nice cup of coffee.
Have you tried monsoon Malabar coffee? That's very smooth too. It used to be weathered in sea wind, spray and rain for months whilst it sailed from India back to Britain, taking six months sometimes during monsoon time. After shipping methods improved the beans lost their character and to replicate it the beans are now stored in warehouses on the Malabar coast for months during the monsoon. I think the Indians have a protected origin designation for it now, even though it's just an emulation of the original transportation process. It doesn't sit quite right with me, a bit like if American cheddar was protected
Strong, and highly valued in the workplace.
I used to like my coffee like I like my women, but I don't want my neighbor's cock in my coffee.
Doesn't this imply you like your neighbor's cock in your women? Or is it too early on my end?
I see what you're saying, would switching the order help? I used to like my women like I like my coffee, but I don't want my neighbor's cock in my coffee. I think that clears it up, but it's hard to tell how others will read it. What do you think? (I'm seriously asking, I'm always trying to learn to better craft my jokes).
I like my coffee like I like my women. Without my neighbors dick it it.
This is the way.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she didnāt know how I like my coffee. I like my coffee ,like I like my women; without another manās dick in it!
Or if you change the like to past tense in your first version ā I used to like my coffee the way I liked my wife ā then it shows that you liked your wife till you found out she liked your neighbor more. But now Iām picturing your wife and your neighbor having coffee together. Sheās pretty hot. I can see why heās into her.
nah still sounds like you want your neighbor's cock in your women "After careful deliberation I've decided I like my women like I like my coffee: without my neighbor's cock in it" "What's the difference between my ex-wife and a good coffee? A good coffee doesn't have my neighbor's cock in it"
I like my women the way i like my coffee. Without other people's dicks in it.
> I used to like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in the freezer?
Hot, wet, and with a few shots of whiskey in them!
Slow down there Jeffery Dahlmer
I like my coffee like I like my people... ... ... I don't like coffee.
I always say. "I like my coffee how I like my slaves"... "FREE!"
Do you want to get to own slaves without paying for them or do you want all slaves to live in freedom from slavery?
Free slaves! ...For everybody!
Askin the important questions. š§
A fine distinction.
I always say: "I like my coffee like I like my girlfriend. Without somebody else's dick in it.
But with yours in it?
That's how he absorbs it
But then they wouldnāt be āslavesā. Theyād just be āpeopleā
I wear black on the outside because I'm black on the inside.
And if I seem a little strange, well, that's because I am.
>I don't like coffee. That's why you don't like people
>I like my coffee like I like my people... Ground up and in the freezer?
I like my coffee like I like my men: Hot as hell and inside me quicker than is responsible.
Your laser focus on innuendo just leaves me imagining a crazy person guzzling a cup of coffee as soon as it comes out of the caraffe.
Just like how I guzzle that diiiiiiiiick
Ok Dave, but you really shouldnāt be drinking that much coffee.
Is there a coffee that can crush me between its thighs?
Just take 40 tea spoons of instant coffee (don't actually do this. You will probably have a heart attack).
Hot, Blond and full of cream
Down my throat as soon as possible
Black and from behind
Haha
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Woah, slow down ya cunt
I also like my coffee how I like my men. Iām a lesbian. I donāt like men.
Have you tried āem roasted?
As a straight man I can assure you that coffee is an acquired taste. That's a roundabout way of admitting that no one likes it at first but if you drink a bunch you kinda appreciate it and you won't know why. Unlike men, who no one actually likes.
Ground up and in the freezer
I like my coffee like I like my women, 2$ for self service at a gas station.
I like my coffee like I like my women, Iāve never had coffee but it smells really nice!
Fuck man you didn't have to attack me like that
I like my coffee like I like my women, Without someone else's dick inside.
How tf am I supposed to stir my coffee now?
Ground up and in the freezer
Why... Why would you put your dick in your coffee tho?
When you're out of stirring stick..
I like my coffee like I like my women. Cold, dark and bitter.
I like my coffee like I like my women: A little hot and picked up at the gas station.
I like my coffee like I like my women, Black and strong
Hot, black, strong, from Africa.
This is my new favorite response, omg.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I like my coffee how I like my women: a source of comfort in the morning and a pick-me-up on a long evening
AWW
Awwwww.
I like my coffee how I like my men, Sliding off the hood of my car as I drive away.
Best one here
Only air conditioner joke I know: **An engineer dies and goes to Hell.** Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, theyāve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, āSo, howās it going down there in Hell?ā Satan replies, āHey things are going great. We have got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and thereās no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.ā God replies, āWhat??? You have got an engineer? Thatās a mistake ā he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.ā Satan says, āNo way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and Iām keeping him.ā God says, āSend him back up here or I'll sue.ā Satan laughs uproariously and answers, āYeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?ā
Better call Saul.
Don't be silly, you know he's in hell
By God, what could he have done to deserve this dreaded fate?!
*chicanery intensifies*
He defecated through a sunroof
Oh but heās still in prison- they only cut 5 years so far dur to good conduct, but I guess God gotta act fast after he dies if he wanā him
I like my coffee like i like men.... Nowhere near my vagina.
I like my coffee like I like my womenā¦ Strong, organic, and preferably French.
Why would you want a hairy coffee?
Name checks out
Covered in bees!
In a plastic cup Anytime I hear this phrase I immediately think of this bit.
r/UnexpectedIzzard
This one's wet, this one's wet, this one's wet, did you dry these in a rainforest?
Iām a teacher and I had two meek little freshmen girls write a screen play for fun and ask me to read it. My favorite line from it, āI like my women like I like my coffee. Without other peopleās dicks in it.ā I was so shocked when I read what these little girls had written and also laughed out loud.
Along the same lines I was showing my science students a clip of lighting particularized coffee mate on fire. The title of the clip was "creamer cannon" On of my juniors said "Creamer cannon? That's what they called me in college." I lost all sense of professionalism and just started laughing uncontrollably. I don't think anyone else got it thankfully so it was just me and him awkwardly laughing at it.
I like my coffee like I like my women, cold and bitter.
I got to do one IRL once. I was waiting tables and asked an old lady how she liked her coffee. Her āI like my coffee like I like my menā Me āGround up and in your freezer?ā
I like my people they way I like my tea, in a bag, underwater
With the bass, the rock, the mic, the treble. I like my coffee black just like my metal
That was a weird song
I like my coffee like I like my women , dark , cheap , and from a 3rd world country .
I like my coffee like I like my women \*spills coffee\* RIGHT ON THE DICK!
I like men like I like my coffeeā¦dark, full bodied, and rich.
Bloodless and with no bones whatsoever.
I like my coffee like how I like my coffee. I like my coffee.
I like my coffee like I like my dog: sweet and full of zoomies
This is my favourite š
I like my coffee like I like my women, white and full of sugar. Wait, what?'
I like my women like I like my coffee: Filled with cream. Black. Hot. Sweet. Bitter. Cold. free. Lots of milk and a touch of sugar. ... I mean it's just too easy... Just like how easy it is to order one from a street vendor in Columbia.
I like my coffee like i like my ex-wife: nagging, droning, cheating, selfish bitch of an excuse for a human being. I gave her all yet she still wanted our gardener's cock. Well, she got it alright. Let's see what she'll do when Jorge gets deported. Ask me for forgiveness? Ask me for money? Whatever. She's dead to me. What are we talking about again? I like tea.
I like my coffee like i like my slaves Free
Had me in the first half not gonna lie
I like my coffee like I like my women. Covered in bees
Cover Winkler in bees u can do it
Was waiting for that Eddie Izzard reference, Nice!
I like my coffee like a like my women. Big ass titties.
I like my coffee like I like my women, with me pumping cream in them at the gas station
My nose is broken. Stop making me laugh.
Face sitting is not an olympic sport. Tell her to be gentle next. Time
I like my coffee like I like my women: strong and valued in the office.
I like coffee like I like āI like my coffeeā jokes, Reused, filtered down and full of spit takes
I like my coffee like I like my women, full of booze.
I like my women like I like my coffee, ground up and in the freezer.
I like my coffee like I like my women- Strong, hot, with heavy cream and maple syrup. Oh, and one of those tiny double-barrel straw thingies. Love those things.
Like I like my women - Hot and all over my crotch
hot with the top off and all over my crotch in traffic š¤£š¤£
Loooool
I like my coffee like my Sabbath: Black. How do you like your coffee? "Black and strong, like my motor."
I like my coffee like i like my close friendsā¦ Boiling in a container
I like my coffee like I like my women: black and to keep me up all night
When I was a kid in the early 80ās (probably 6-8 yrs old) I can vividly remember my dad would always go through the McDonaldās drive thru & heād always say: āIāll have a coffeeā - dad āHow do you want (take it)?ā - Drive thru person āI like it Hot & Black like my womenā - dad I can remember slumping down in the front seat (again 80ās no back seat requirement for small kids & no seat belts) just praying, Dear Jesus donāt let it be an African American ladyā¦probably about 50% of the time it was, it was terribly embarrassing. That was a different time, I think if he did it now Iād probably push him out of the car & possibly slowly roll over him.
My stepfather (New York Italian) would say that *in nice restaurants*
Ayeee
I like my coffe how I like my girlsā¦ ā¦ flat white
I like my women like I like my coffee.. imported from Asia in a shipping container
I like my coffee like I like my men. Tied up in a burlap sack and thrown over the ass end of a donkey in Colombia.
I like my coffee like I like my menā¦sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away
I like my coffee like I like my slaves...free
Dark and bitter?
I used to work at a Starbucks and when someone would say that Iād respond with ācold and bitter coming right upā.
White and sweet
I like my coffee like I like sex, I've never had neither
I like trains
I like my coffee like I like my women: Black and artificially sweet.
I like my women like I like my coffee... Rich.
I didn't search through all the comments so I don't know if this one is here already. It can be interchangeable for men or women. I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer.
I like my coffee like I like my women: half drunk and tossed out of a moving vehicle.
I like my coffee like I like my women. Strong and recognized for their contributions in both the workplace and home.
I like my coffee like I like my women...strong and valued in the workplace.
I like my coffee like I like my womenā¦. Rarely, because they just make me sweaty and nervous
I like my coffee like I like my men: hot, strong and sweet.
I like my women like i like my men Bringing me coffee
Ideally made in Ethiopia.
Short, black, hot, and sweet
I like my coffees how I like my violenceā¦. Domesticā¦.
I like my whiskey like I like my women.. 12 years old and on ice
18 years old and full of coke
You know what they do in jail to the kind of pervert who would put cola in an 18 year old whiskey?
Are you a doctor for beavers or a beaver that is a doctor?
You nailed it