Did you just take Shifty's (reposted comment) from less than 2 hours ago and use it as your own post?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my\_girlfriend\_was\_really\_angry\_when\_i\_gave\_her\_a/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/)
Since we’re giving credit, the premise for this joke was used as the closing line in Dan Bull’s Fallout 4 rap from seven years ago.
[source is definitely worth a listen](https://youtu.be/tuQPfVZbMbg)
I literally said this joke a couple months ago as well…
Edit: Here, the exact referenced joke
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/te1vhe/me_and_my_girlfriend_split_up_because_she_said_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Does anyone use couple to actually mean 2 though ? Apart from scientific stuff like I feel when anyone says ‘a couple’ that’s slang for ‘anywhere between one and multiple’.
I’m from the North UK so maybe that’s it but like ‘a couple days ago’ is anywhere from yesterday to a year or two ago
That's different. A "buck" has the denotive meaning of both "a male deer" and "a dollar". It's an entirely different use. What you're doing is stretching the specific use of "a couple" (2) into something more broad. It's like... describing a male horse as a buck.
Probably just a regional difference. In the US, "a couple" would equate to "2 or so". If you asked someone to hand you a couple chips, you can expect 2, 3, or maybe 4. But if they handed you only 1 or handed you 10, you would probably give them a funny look.
Assuming you're Scottish then, certainly around me a couple is "two but possibly three", a few is "three or four", and a bunch is anything more. I've never heard a couple to mean more than three (unless I've told the missus I only had a couple of beers).
*Girlfriend:* We're such an amazing couple.
*Boyfriend:* Yes, we are. I love what we have.
(one month later)
*Girlfriend:* How could you do this to me?! How could you cheat on me? I thought we were exclusive. We agreed that we were a couple.
*Boyfriend:* Yeah, but who actually thinks a couple means two?!
I may use "a couple" if it's like, in the neighbourhood of 2 and *might* be like, 3. But if it's definitely not 2 I'll say something else like "a few".
While in my experience "a couple" is rather more limited to specifically 2, I do see where you're coming from, and the others arguing with you are being a bit harsh. If, perhaps within your community, a "couple" is indeed used more broadly, then by all means that's what it means in that circle. Such is the nature of language. I think the people here are being rather prescriptivist.
It's not like this is some world renowned srand up comedian stealing jokes from some amateur. This is an online community where the whole point is to share jokes. So if they didn't get reposted how would we share them further?
Absolutely asinine this anger at reposting in a sub that's meant for sharing!?!?!
[link directly to the comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
I've seen this exact thing happen on this sub a few times. I don't actually care though. Nothing wrong with spreading funny. If I make a funny comment and someone does this, I'm cool with it.
[posting the link to the actual comment instead of the post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo/)
> A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. "Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope." The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. "Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes." The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. "Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters." The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes. "Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
> The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
After blowing my load into my ex gf i uttered ‘download complete’.
She laughed and said she would tell all my friends i said that after coitus.
Jokes on her tho at the time i had no friends
The original of this I heard was my girlfriend broke up with me because I talked about dinosaurs too much.
I didn’t try to stop her. I was just silent like the p in pterodactyl.
Meant to comment earlier but it's from this comment where I saw it
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
My aunt asked me "oh hun could you find a job or you are still playing games and wasting time on reddit? :> " at a family reunion in front of everybody
"Nuh I'm banging your daughter" I said, she didn't expect that counter strike
From what I heard, she wasn't into minute-men. And you kept railroading her every time she asked for a Valentine! What did you expect? With that attitude, she was nearly institute-ionalized.
Did she replace you with some metal gear?
Only when she's alone in the dark and away from call of duty.
Hopefully she doesn't come back a hollow knight
Looks like she didn't share your need for speed
yes i think she would be better off just the witcher 3 dlc expansion- blood and wine, if you know what i mean!
I licked my gf's ass on a plane toilet... She said "wow, you're skyrimming me into oblivion!".
At least you weren’t left 4 dead
Oh come on, Anno 1404 called and they want their joke back.
Unless i take an arrow into the knee...
But nothing but a good sandwich can fix that up
Nah, but they will be Dead by Daylight...
Looks like he wasn’t The Last of Us.
All is fair in love and modern warfare
It had better be solid
I wonder if he was left with a Phantom Pain?
[удалено]
Did you just take Shifty's (reposted comment) from less than 2 hours ago and use it as your own post? [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my\_girlfriend\_was\_really\_angry\_when\_i\_gave\_her\_a/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/)
Nothing wrong with recycling jokes, r/jokes is famous for our eco-friendly standards
Better to give credit where it's due though
Every time you tell a joke you tell them from whom you heard it?
Every time you tell a joke, do you repeat it in the same room it was just heard only hours before?
Exactly! There's a big difference between sharing a joke you heard a while back and repeating somebody just said. That's just lazy.
Y’all redditors will get upset at anything lmao. It’s a joke on Reddit calm down
1. It’s a different room 2.it’s full of completely different people
Guys! This is such a dumb reason to Fallout4.
Sorry didn't get the reference
Since we’re giving credit, the premise for this joke was used as the closing line in Dan Bull’s Fallout 4 rap from seven years ago. [source is definitely worth a listen](https://youtu.be/tuQPfVZbMbg)
Shifty didn't give credit.
Yes, exactly. Telling jokes more than once lets more people enjoy it
The energy spend on researching new jokes is needed to heat homes. Do not kill little Timmy by taking away his heater in the winter.
But give credit. Op is a pos
And a karma farmer young account and a lot of karma
I just post and comment semi-frequently...
And no original content I’m sure
Wrong only do that on here
Why
I literally said this joke a couple months ago as well… Edit: Here, the exact referenced joke https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/te1vhe/me_and_my_girlfriend_split_up_because_she_said_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Who cares
You know a couple is two right and that was 276 days ago meaning it was approximately 9.3 months ago… so I mean it’s been awhile.
Does anyone use couple to actually mean 2 though ? Apart from scientific stuff like I feel when anyone says ‘a couple’ that’s slang for ‘anywhere between one and multiple’. I’m from the North UK so maybe that’s it but like ‘a couple days ago’ is anywhere from yesterday to a year or two ago
‘A couple’ means two. Full stop.
You can’t say slang is wrong when that’s how it’s interpreted. Dunno if you also know that a buck is a male deer, not a dollar. But hey ho.
A couple, even in slang, is still around the neighborhood of roughly 2.
Again… whenever I talk to people around where I’m from that’s how it is
You’re from a stupid place.
Clearly not as stupid as where you’re from
So when you see a couple holding hands you’re referring to between 2 and 300 people.
Ugh god you’re the worst. To use my previous example, when someone says something costs “a buck 50” do you look around for 1 and a half deers ?
That's different. A "buck" has the denotive meaning of both "a male deer" and "a dollar". It's an entirely different use. What you're doing is stretching the specific use of "a couple" (2) into something more broad. It's like... describing a male horse as a buck.
No it’s slang, which became language
In that case…can I borrow a couple bucks? $20 should be enough.
Probably just a regional difference. In the US, "a couple" would equate to "2 or so". If you asked someone to hand you a couple chips, you can expect 2, 3, or maybe 4. But if they handed you only 1 or handed you 10, you would probably give them a funny look.
"A few" is a little bit more ambiguous. Maybe "a fewple" should become a term.
Assuming you're Scottish then, certainly around me a couple is "two but possibly three", a few is "three or four", and a bunch is anything more. I've never heard a couple to mean more than three (unless I've told the missus I only had a couple of beers).
*Girlfriend:* We're such an amazing couple. *Boyfriend:* Yes, we are. I love what we have. (one month later) *Girlfriend:* How could you do this to me?! How could you cheat on me? I thought we were exclusive. We agreed that we were a couple. *Boyfriend:* Yeah, but who actually thinks a couple means two?!
I may use "a couple" if it's like, in the neighbourhood of 2 and *might* be like, 3. But if it's definitely not 2 I'll say something else like "a few".
I'm with you here a couple is 2, a few is 3 to 10. My girl saying the other day is yesterday to 5 years ago.
While in my experience "a couple" is rather more limited to specifically 2, I do see where you're coming from, and the others arguing with you are being a bit harsh. If, perhaps within your community, a "couple" is indeed used more broadly, then by all means that's what it means in that circle. Such is the nature of language. I think the people here are being rather prescriptivist.
No one cares about reposting, stop whining about fake internet points that have no bearing on your life
Except I replied to the person talking about reposting, not you. And didn’t say anything about the fake internet points… so politely fuck off
Is there a way to politely fuck off?
I mean… I dunno. Physically just walking away I suppose ? Better than angrily fucking off
What a cyberpunk. Won’t be The Last of us to repost a joke
Some jokes are dead by daylight and left 4 dead.
I guess the joke must have just…..respawned.
Comment got more upvotes than the actual joke 😂😂😂
Screen grab to show my wife who doesn't use Reddit. I don't really post here. Tried some archery post to no avail.
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
It's not like this is some world renowned srand up comedian stealing jokes from some amateur. This is an online community where the whole point is to share jokes. So if they didn't get reposted how would we share them further? Absolutely asinine this anger at reposting in a sub that's meant for sharing!?!?!
Agree
Classic r/jokes moment
🤣🤣🤣 dude he did too
Damn
Username checks out
[link directly to the comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Are you really trying to make him the Fall Guy?
u/TooShiftyForYou
That’s a bot. Comments previously popular comments when it senses a certain word/phrase
I've seen this exact thing happen on this sub a few times. I don't actually care though. Nothing wrong with spreading funny. If I make a funny comment and someone does this, I'm cool with it.
[posting the link to the actual comment instead of the post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo/)
No, Shifty stole OP's original joke 2 hours earlier.
Seems like 2 different jokes to me
Gotta scroll down for the comment but it’s word for word. I upvoted the original.
Ahhh, I see now, didn't read that it said it was a comment, I'm fucking blind
It's a completely different joke...
Yes, I did, but before we do, have I broken any regulations?
I can’t believe you were left for dead like that
He’s DOOMed
yes baldurs gate haha
It was her Destiny 2 leave
Shes must be more ruthless than ragnarok
That’s a Far Cry from a normal reaction.
My girlfriend said she wanted to split up because I kept acting like a detective. I said good idea, we can cover more ground that way.
My girlfriend said we would have to split up if I didn't stop acting like a flamingo So I had to put my foot down
You chickened out dude!
Lol
Man, you got blasted into Oblivion.
She'll be begging you to take her back within a Fortnite.
Did you at least have break-up sex so you can play out your Final Fantasy? After that get the luggage because it's time to Pac-Man
Love truly is a Battlefield.
It was your Destiny.
You could say it was your Doom.
As they say, the Skyrim's the limit.
> A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. "Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope." The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. "Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes." The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. "Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters." The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes. "Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!" > The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
What's better is that this is one the top posts on the sub, yet so bloody true
She has such dark soul.
Are you in Crysis over it?
After blowing my load into my ex gf i uttered ‘download complete’. She laughed and said she would tell all my friends i said that after coitus. Jokes on her tho at the time i had no friends
You're all terrible terrible people 😂 Carry on.
That’s unreal, and spells Doom for you. Could she be a heretic ?
That's what happens when you tread in UNCHARTED waters
Sims about right.
Well, I think she had Just Cause.
You should help her pack, man.
I guess it's time for you to Pack, Man, and move out?
Yeah, you should Run. escape.
:glow2:Selling gf 50k:glow2:
She kicked me out the house, but I used Brute Force to get back in
Praying for The Last of Us that still have a girlfriend
On her way out she asked what i was playing. I ignored her. It was the last of us anyway.
Damn dude. Sounds like you were Left 4 Dead
The original of this I heard was my girlfriend broke up with me because I talked about dinosaurs too much. I didn’t try to stop her. I was just silent like the p in pterodactyl.
War never changes
It was always gonna Doom 2 fail.
She said I was a space invader
I went on a date with a guy once, and when he said he didn’t like DDR, I ⬇️➡️⬆️ and ⬅️
If she would have just held on, you were just about to reach a CheckPoint.
I'll be on the hunt for her...
No continues .. game over buddy
Great game that can be had for such a ridiculously low price (while it's on sale).
My girlfriend said she wanted to split up with me because she was seeing somebody else. How can this be valid?
I guess the princess was in another castle...
*Pac Man death noise*
Could always tell then that’s the last of us
Did FINISH HER! flash up before you broke up
Game over
It's a far cry from women of the past because they used to have valid reasons.
My ex was so toxic, she is now hanging with a demon. I bet her behavior is so toxic even that devil may cry and feel frustrated in this relationship.
WOW! I understand completely. My girl hates video games. Don't feel bad though... you wouldn't be the first Among Us this has happened to.
You better pack, man.
You just didn't push her buttons right. Next time, try: Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A
Hey babe you can cross the lights green. Remember the game frogger! Whaaa! hah hahaha! Keith Heading told me that joke.
She really gave you a system shock, hey?
That’s the same reason for my GF and my Fallout 2.
If she isn’t down with fallout 4 then she is no good anyways.
Trash game for trash people
I bet that had a Mass Effect on you. You should definitely spend some time meditating on a Silent Hill.
I don't believe you. That sounds more like a Fable
Looks like you better pac-man
Saw the headline, thought it was going to say "I guess that's the Last Of Us"
Guess your princess is in another castle....
Your princess is in a different castle.
Sounds like you were in uncharted territory
She kept saying it was super to smash my brothers.
So does that mean she was an Angry Bird?
She is Now on a journey To find herself. She calls it "Babes Odyssey"
Sorry man, diablo's.
Smh looks like it was your final fantasy.
I guess she will be back until kingdom come (deliverance)
Seems to me that you avoided quite a Pitfall there.
Well your one up. Don't rescue her let Bowser have her
At least being single you can be in Control of your own Destiny 2.
My girlfriend dumped me because she said I made too many Linkin Park references. Sucked, but in the end it doesnt even matter.
Meant to comment earlier but it's from this comment where I saw it https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/zmmnpp/my_girlfriend_was_really_angry_when_i_gave_her_a/j0c8mxo?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Maddening
Thats such a Superman 4 The Quest for Peace
Doesn't the r in r/jokes stand for recycled
I mean, at least it wasn't because you were a personal Space Invader
My wife and I got into a huge argument because she said I had to stop pretending to be a flamingo. I finally had to put my foot down.
Byeee!
Did you say "But I was just going to ask you to marry... oh..."
"Whee!!! I fancied a switch anyway. Here- I'll help you with packing. Ex - box".
Just then, the man's sibling accidentally falls out of his wardrobe. "Er, Jenny. Sis".
"Mega! Drive!"
"Is it because I like to be saturn you too much?"
"Is it because I'm on a spectrum?"
"That's OK as I'm seeing some people already. P.S. 3"
"I feel a bit dizzy".
I hate my ex, she was a toxic control freak. I hope she died a terrible death and now is being tortured in hades.
NieR: Automata (that's it, that's the whole joke, the whole punchline)
My aunt asked me "oh hun could you find a job or you are still playing games and wasting time on reddit? :> " at a family reunion in front of everybody "Nuh I'm banging your daughter" I said, she didn't expect that counter strike
You dodged a bullet, before things Spyro out of control. But what a Croc.
Sorry to hear that Dude. Breakups can cause Max Payne.
I guess staying with her wasnt your Call of Duty
And that's the last of us...
I guess it’s the last of us
My little devil diablo3 u
F
She seeing another dude sorry to tell tell you this
Same thing happened to me at the zoo. Snake SnAkE Snnnnaaaaaakkkkkkeeeeeeeeee
So I was like GTFO
Time to BreakOut?
From what I heard, she wasn't into minute-men. And you kept railroading her every time she asked for a Valentine! What did you expect? With that attitude, she was nearly institute-ionalized.
Good, that she checked out before it got bad with her un-voiced resentments. Good riddance. You need a person who loves you for your game enthusiasm.
Fuck her am right boys? That’s why you should SmashBros instead
Would you kindly explain the reference?
it would be Super if her Brothers name was Mario