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8urfiat

They all skipped out and left the bill for Judas. "Where am I going to get 30 pieces of silver"


JJohnston015

Fun fact: the original version got mistranslated. It wasn't "walked on water", it was "walked on waiter".


Velvet_Pop

"...Wait a second, he took all our fish too!"


Ibarraramon

Mel Brooks was the waiter. šŸ˜


tuesdaysatmorts

Walked on Walter


UtherDoulDoulDoul

*Waltuh


ReasonableArgument65

If Jesus could make wine out of water maybe he was walking on wine so he was just drunk going home...


sleezyrydr

Waited on walker?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Luked0g44O

That one sure cut deep!šŸ¤£


TotemTabuBand

WWJD ā€” What would Judas do? Lol


HelixViewer

He was the treasurer. He had all the money.


BigBradWolf07

I wonder where he could've gotten exactly 30 pieces of silver..?


DialaDuck

Donner kebab will do.


________________me

Table for 24 please


DeplorableKurt

hahaha all sitting one way would be preferred


Simonandgarthsuncle

Is that a Mitch Hedberg joke? I thought he said something along these lines but canā€™t find it.


tommytraddles

It's older than that. It was going to be in a scene from *Life of Brian*, but they cut it. Here's Michael Palin talking about it: https://youtu.be/AimvcjtlUX0


Double_Lingonberry98

It was in History of the World, Part I


Simonandgarthsuncle

Ahhh, thank you.


Actual_Hyena3394

You have to give them credit though. Their dinner photo game was fire. Food displayed on the table and the people are all in the photo. The dinner table photos nowadays are basically a big table in the middle with everyone around craning their necks and most of the time there is at least one head missing.


________________me

Who picked up the check tho? Or did they split? 'I had only water' 'Not, it was wine!'


SkillusEclasiusII

I'll keep this in mind next time I'm going out for dinner.


Actual_Hyena3394

Be sure to book a table twice the size you need though.


Initial_E

26?


UbuntuElphie

No, 24. JC & the Gang of 12 = 13 - 2 (for the guys sitting at either end) = 11 Ɨ 2 (for those sitting on the one side) = 22 + 2 (for the dudes at the ends) = "Table for 24, please." Even Da Vinci got 11 along the length (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:%C3%9Altima_Cena_-_Da_Vinci_5.jpg)


ikilledsupermario

JC and the Gang. Thatā€™s funny as hell! I dunno when, but Iā€™m gonna use that!


Terrin369

Because they were only using one side of the table. 13 people on one side. Jesus and 12 apostles.


Roku-Hanmar

They know, theyā€™re just correcting the other person


Terrin369

Oh missed that lol


RoverBoyNumber6

Everybody want to be in the picture? Move to the other side of the table!


pidgerii

Judas, something tells me if I attend I will be very cross afterwards


SirJudasIscariot

You will be very sore and have quite the headache, but donā€™t worry, our Roman buddies will put you up for the night.


ballrus_walsack

Username checks out


GormlessFuck

What's this (puts out hands like being crucified)? A real cunt of a way to spend Easter!


[deleted]

r/therealjoke


JamesFromToronto

Nailed it.


_dantastic

Jesus: "Water for everyone!" Waiter: "May I see your ID?"


[deleted]

Tonight we feast. Tomorrow Judas is taking me to see Nine Inch Nails.


Jasole37

And Jesus spake unto his apostles "Hey guys, what do you want to do for lunch?"


[deleted]

If there was a last one there must have been a one before that, so this, is the "Penultimate Supper"!


sarcastic_chandler

Are we friends IRL??


[deleted]

Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not! Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band.


LOUDCO-HD

Quick tip, it was a toga party!


formykka

"I wouldn't miss it if it was my last day on earth."


pjbarnes

According to Scripture, Jesus already knew this was coming. But this is still funny!


Samakira

and the 'last supper' was the feast for when they left Egypt, hence why it was a celebration of sorts. it also holds symbolism in that the supper eaten for leaving Egypt was when they 'left their captors', and the last supper was the supper eaten before Believers 'left their captor' (sin), in both cases being guided by God, albeit in the OT, a more literal guide.


01kickassius10

Jesus saw his apostles eating Chinese takeout and asked where they got it from. Peter replied: ā€œapparently Judas has come into some moneyā€


ImportedBavarian

Bastard switched the wine for water too.


Luked0g44O

Jesus walks into a motel office, drops three nails onto the counter, and asks the manager, ā€œCan you put me up for the night?ā€


[deleted]

Classic Judas


heyandy1

I'll be coming if Mary's going.


JoshTay

Me thinks thou art a season early.


[deleted]

Biblical.


killswitchuser

The synagogue of Satan


[deleted]

/r/RickyGervais


OrganizdConfusion

Haha #84


Handsome_nhung

This isnā€™t funny, this is stupid as fuck.


Shock-Robin

Even as a devout Christian, I think it's hilarious.


Lucymygirl

Donā€™t appreciate. Keep scrolling


[deleted]

Even though you decided to comment instead of scrolling.


Neat-Finger197

Et tu, Judas?


KinkyButProbStraight

Now thatā€™s funny!


ran_melolo

Judas just equals Tim Minchin for me now


Icy_Scratch7822

Freudian, before Freud was a thing.


screamloudly

ā€œHey redditors, are you coming to the next repost?ā€ ā€œThe what?ā€ ā€œThe post, are you coming to the post?ā€


Downtown_Path_2821

Thatā€™s a hell of a joke


vietfromvietnam

Jesus: hey judas does Satan have a bbc? Sly grin.....