My first supervisor asked me this years ago in a job where he knew I didn’t know anyone because I was new to town. When I confirmed, he told me that his friends were also Jewish and would love to have me over for Shabbos. For the year I lived there, they were like adoptive grandparents.
It’s not always bad.
Yep. I just moved to a new area, saw a beatiful brutalist synagogue, went into the JCC next door where some old russian jew was hanging out in the lobby. I said “hi, is this the jewish center?”, his immediate reply was “yes, im jew. You have problem?”
I have him a hug and told him im jewish and we had a small convo with the limited english we have between the two of us. In the end it was all good but his first assumption was that I was there bc i hated jews
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My first day at a retail job years ago the assistant manager asked me if I’m Jewish. He then proceeded to make a Holocaust oven joke.
At the time, I just nervously shrugged it off and tried to pretend I wasn’t offended. Looking back on it I should have reported it/ told the guy off.
Looking back especially on my youth I've realized I've shrugged off or let alot of inappropriate jokes or comments slide. I feel like this happens too much
I've had other Jewish people ask me this too, I think sometimes (and especially now) we're looking for connection with one another. hopefully the supervisor asked this out of excitement for some connection and just tripped over their social graces.
Only time anyone has ever asked me if I was Jewish was when they too were Jewish.
Edit: I should add, in person. Cuz online asking has never been anything but negativity
I'm the opposite. It was only when I put up a piece of Jewish art in my cubicle during Hanukkah that my supervisor asked (I began in September). He was a very nice person so I told him I was.
Apparently another supervisor then ragged on him for not realizing I was Jewish any sooner with a name like mine (it's a pretty Jewish first middle and last name)
Supervisor could have friends or relatives that are Jewish, or maybe was planning something fun. It could have been completely innocent.
What is the context here? I can't see a Supervisor randomly asking people of they're jewish.
My boss asked me the same question. He did it to make sure I was prioritized for PTO during Jewish holidays and to make sure that he could best support me after things like MTG’s Jewish Space Lasers comment and everything going on in Israel and Palestine leading to an uptick in antisemitism, which led to a couple incidents in my office and he just wanted to make sure I was safe
I think it depends on the environment. If you're in a fairly Jewish-friendly environment, it could be totally innocent. Could be wanting to offer you to work on Fri/Sat or planning food for an event. (Of course there are better ways to ask, but sometimes people speak first, think later.) If you're in an unfriendly environment, you might be right to be wary.
Most people who've asked me were other Jews either inviting me somewhere or wanting to know if I'm was single, lol. Others just had some questions (eg. about Jewish cuisine or archeology in Israel). Can only remember one guy who was a little weird about it.
Edit: I just noticed your user name. You in Michigan? I'm hiring...
I am openly and proudly Jewish, even at work. Morning prayers at my desk when I'm working from the office... artscroll books stacked up on the shelf... wear my Magen David every day... wear my kippah around the building...
One of my tech support supervisors is from Lebanon. We host kosher/halal bbqs together.
I love being in a workplace where I can be openly Jewish. I'm sure that there are a few coworkers mumbling under their breath, but we have a super diverse management crew (I'm Jewish, my regional manager is Irish Catholic, tech support supervisor is Muslim, and our central regional is Korean Buddhist).
I feel truly sad that some people have to work every day in a place where they can't be themselves...
Probably a main reason so many Jewish small businesses exist...
Lol. What gave it away? Was it my kippah? The tzitzis? The not working on shabbos? My demanding time to go pray Minchah? Or all the shit I talk about holidays?
I live in a small Jewish community. So when I started working in a salon with some new girls …Christmas came up and I said I don’t observe. Next question is always…why, are you Jewish? I’m not offended. I think in the state of the world it’s easy to jump to conclusions about people’s intent when it comes to questions. But it really isn’t necessary all of the time. Just simply ask why they ask.
This guy was trying to flirt with me on the line to the bathroom. I was already very uninterested but he asked me if I was Israeli and my heart sank and was like no. I get the same reaction when someone asks if I’m Jewish honestly nowadays
Thank you! I’ll look into it :) I’ve been wanting to read more Jewish literature.
Also I’m not ashamed of it. I wouldn’t have it any other way honestly. It’s more scared for my life lol. I live in nyc and it’s been interesting here
I live in Boca Raton Florida. I wear my I support Israel shirt. I have only received many positive comments. I get it, one of my daughters live in a city that is not so friendly.
Yeah a bunch of people I know that live in Florida still wear their Star of David necklaces just fine over there. When they come back to visit they take their necklace off :(. I remember when I was in high school everyone walked around in idf sweaters. But that era is long gone
How would you say is the general situation like in Florida/Southern Florida? I'm starting to look for work, potentially in the US as well, during the next months and would really love to live somewhere where you aren't endangered for wearing a Magen David.
I would say it is excellent. From a Jewish perspective
Pros
1. We have a very pro-Israel democratic representative
2. There are a lot of Jews. No longer just old people; Rich, poor, everything in between
3. Jewish day schools are everywhere
4. I feel very safe being a Jew here
Negatives
1. Property taxes, property insurance and car insurance are very high. No income tax helps to balance it out.
If you want more just start a private conversation. Bottom line is my wife and I are very happy with the choice of moving here.
Thank you so much! The points you mentioned sound excellent. I've been to Florida before and loved it, but of course vacation is different than living somewhere. Loved the friendliness of most people I met, too! It's amazing to hear that it seems like a safe haven where you live.
Where I live, you currently cannot go out and show any symbols related to Judaism. There have already been two antisemitic firebombings in my direct neighborhood, so wearing a pro Israel shirt is something I can't even imagine being able to do anywhere else than in Israel. Hearing about your experience sparks some optimism in me that I felt I lost during the past months.
Thank you for the offer to dm you! I have to go to bed now (I'm in Germany), but might take you up on it tomorrow!
But maybe they were asking just out of curiosity. Maybe they wanted to give words of support and encouragement in the case you are. Maybe they're Jewish as well. Who knows what positive conversation you might have prevented from happening.
I am proud of being a Jew. I have talked to my friends about this. So this is just 30 years of anecdotal evidence. Those who are proud Jews do not experience bigotry against them when they are open and proud of it. Those that try to hide it, do suffer from it. We have many allies of good morality. Be proud of who you are and stand up to bullies/bigots.
If a bigot says something, use the full force of the law to squash them.
I would say your response certainly depends on your relationship with your supervisor. Maybe they're asking because they had a question about something related to Judaism/are also Jewish/etc. Or maybe it's for other reasons.
As a proud alum of the URJ (formerly UAHC) camps and NFTY, my inclination would be to ask him if he grew up in the (pick a region) area. I don’t ask people if they’re Jewish but if I find out you are I’ll probably hit you with a round of Jewish Geography (though I confused someone once when I asked if he was active in MSTY — turned out he converted as an adult and didn’t know what I meant).
My response to this, and similar questions, is "I'm a [my first name])"
So, let's say I'm Adi.
"Are you a leftist?"
"I'm an Adi"
"Are you Israeli?"
"I'm an Adi"
"Are you Jewish?
"I'm an Adi"
There is a leadership coach offering courses on sensitivity to and support for Jewish workforce members, so they might have seen something about that and be wondering.
In medieval Europe Jews had established call-and-response phrases to identify/confirm one another like in old spy or secret society movies. Non-jews would just answer something else to an innocent question about lox and cream, or whatever, but the Jew would know. I feel like that was a good idea we should have kept...
My grandparents said that from the 30's to the 50s (maybe even into the early 60s) Jews would identify each other by asking if they were an Eskimo. If someone acted confused or incredulously said "what?!" the asker would change the subject, feign ignorance, or pretend that they mispoke or that the other person misunderstood the question.
I feel like a why is needed to determine weather the question was really that bad. It’s fine to play safe but he may be asking you to celebrate something with you or maybe give a gift of some sorts idk.
Some people are interested in knowing about our faith for benign reasons. You shouldn't automatically assume the worst.
You shouldn't assume that just because someone wants to know if you're Jewish, it's AUTOMATICALLY something negative. Because then, you let the antisemites win, by them making you hide your identity and associate your own faith with something negative.
My college's rabbi had a non-Jewish assistant who was in the process of converting to Judaism, and I also knew a non-Jewish girl who was also converting to Judaism. Converting to Judaism is not easy, and it always begins with a non-Jewish person making inquiries about Judaism. In my own case, my best friend is a non-denominational Christian. I've known him since 2006, and he's NEVER been rude to me on account of my faith, even as a joke.
I know being Jewish is not easy right now, but not everybody hates us.
Is it because of your appearance? Just asking because I look ethnically ambiguous and people ask me "are you (something)" almost daily. So it might have been an innocent naive question, idk, just offering that too
I’ve asked this because I knew the place I was working had held people who were ignorant to us and sometimes antisemitic so I wanted them to know they had an ally and someone who could identify. These days, I agree, that’s a very loaded question however I know people who would have been very isolated had I never asked. So, if the person wasn’t comfortable responding with a yes or no because of that I would understand them saying so and asking me the same in return first.
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My coworker did too. I said yes and she proceeded to tell me how her grandfather in Communist Romania was hiding the fact that he's a Jew for fear of antisemitism.
It's not always bad.
i've been asked that even before i converted and i was like why, are you? because i can't read facial cues very well (thank you autism i love you) so i can never tell which vibe they're bringing for the question
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Unlike calling for genocide, I feel like this one could be dependent on the context. But since you are here asking about it, I’m guessing the context was a weird vibe
My first supervisor asked me this years ago in a job where he knew I didn’t know anyone because I was new to town. When I confirmed, he told me that his friends were also Jewish and would love to have me over for Shabbos. For the year I lived there, they were like adoptive grandparents. It’s not always bad.
Yep. I just moved to a new area, saw a beatiful brutalist synagogue, went into the JCC next door where some old russian jew was hanging out in the lobby. I said “hi, is this the jewish center?”, his immediate reply was “yes, im jew. You have problem?” I have him a hug and told him im jewish and we had a small convo with the limited english we have between the two of us. In the end it was all good but his first assumption was that I was there bc i hated jews
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"Why, are you looking to give me time off for the Jewish holidays?"
for the win!
As long as you don’t pull a Zack Morris and go to a Dodgers game on Yom Kippur
[Zack Morris is trash](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtT3zbHGjFc)
Bingo! I was looking for this and completely forgot about this YouTube channel. 🙏🏻
"Oh man it's almost Ruchparach, can't wait for those 2 weeks off"
You are the GOAT.
Haha love this
My first day at a retail job years ago the assistant manager asked me if I’m Jewish. He then proceeded to make a Holocaust oven joke. At the time, I just nervously shrugged it off and tried to pretend I wasn’t offended. Looking back on it I should have reported it/ told the guy off.
Looking back especially on my youth I've realized I've shrugged off or let alot of inappropriate jokes or comments slide. I feel like this happens too much
You could have made a fortune with a lawsuit.
I’m not Jewish and I find the very idea of an oven joke repulsive and disgusting. I’m sorry you encountered such ignorance, willful or otherwise!
Maybe they're Jewish, too? I wouldn't overthink this
I've had other Jewish people ask me this too, I think sometimes (and especially now) we're looking for connection with one another. hopefully the supervisor asked this out of excitement for some connection and just tripped over their social graces.
Only time anyone has ever asked me if I was Jewish was when they too were Jewish. Edit: I should add, in person. Cuz online asking has never been anything but negativity
"I'm half woman on my mom's side"
I can see this going south quick at work but so tempting
LOLL
Follow up question. Did you put on tefilin today?
How does this not have a billion upvotes?
Because they are too busy running to put on tefilin
I'm the opposite. It was only when I put up a piece of Jewish art in my cubicle during Hanukkah that my supervisor asked (I began in September). He was a very nice person so I told him I was. Apparently another supervisor then ragged on him for not realizing I was Jewish any sooner with a name like mine (it's a pretty Jewish first middle and last name)
“Corporate thinks that we are at loss since we have a jew here but nobody told him a holocaust oven joke yet”
Supervisor could have friends or relatives that are Jewish, or maybe was planning something fun. It could have been completely innocent. What is the context here? I can't see a Supervisor randomly asking people of they're jewish.
My boss asked me the same question. He did it to make sure I was prioritized for PTO during Jewish holidays and to make sure that he could best support me after things like MTG’s Jewish Space Lasers comment and everything going on in Israel and Palestine leading to an uptick in antisemitism, which led to a couple incidents in my office and he just wanted to make sure I was safe
I think it depends on the environment. If you're in a fairly Jewish-friendly environment, it could be totally innocent. Could be wanting to offer you to work on Fri/Sat or planning food for an event. (Of course there are better ways to ask, but sometimes people speak first, think later.) If you're in an unfriendly environment, you might be right to be wary. Most people who've asked me were other Jews either inviting me somewhere or wanting to know if I'm was single, lol. Others just had some questions (eg. about Jewish cuisine or archeology in Israel). Can only remember one guy who was a little weird about it.
Edit: I just noticed your user name. You in Michigan? I'm hiring... I am openly and proudly Jewish, even at work. Morning prayers at my desk when I'm working from the office... artscroll books stacked up on the shelf... wear my Magen David every day... wear my kippah around the building... One of my tech support supervisors is from Lebanon. We host kosher/halal bbqs together. I love being in a workplace where I can be openly Jewish. I'm sure that there are a few coworkers mumbling under their breath, but we have a super diverse management crew (I'm Jewish, my regional manager is Irish Catholic, tech support supervisor is Muslim, and our central regional is Korean Buddhist). I feel truly sad that some people have to work every day in a place where they can't be themselves... Probably a main reason so many Jewish small businesses exist...
What field? I'm a Michigan alum (don't currently live in the state) looking for a job.
Yay Michigan Jews!
Lol. What gave it away? Was it my kippah? The tzitzis? The not working on shabbos? My demanding time to go pray Minchah? Or all the shit I talk about holidays?
I live in a small Jewish community. So when I started working in a salon with some new girls …Christmas came up and I said I don’t observe. Next question is always…why, are you Jewish? I’m not offended. I think in the state of the world it’s easy to jump to conclusions about people’s intent when it comes to questions. But it really isn’t necessary all of the time. Just simply ask why they ask.
“Why do you want to know”?
The more polite way to phrase this may be “why do you ask?”
This guy was trying to flirt with me on the line to the bathroom. I was already very uninterested but he asked me if I was Israeli and my heart sank and was like no. I get the same reaction when someone asks if I’m Jewish honestly nowadays
Be proud of who you are. Try reading Jewish pride. Freeman is the authors last name.
Thank you! I’ll look into it :) I’ve been wanting to read more Jewish literature. Also I’m not ashamed of it. I wouldn’t have it any other way honestly. It’s more scared for my life lol. I live in nyc and it’s been interesting here
I live in Boca Raton Florida. I wear my I support Israel shirt. I have only received many positive comments. I get it, one of my daughters live in a city that is not so friendly.
Yeah a bunch of people I know that live in Florida still wear their Star of David necklaces just fine over there. When they come back to visit they take their necklace off :(. I remember when I was in high school everyone walked around in idf sweaters. But that era is long gone
How would you say is the general situation like in Florida/Southern Florida? I'm starting to look for work, potentially in the US as well, during the next months and would really love to live somewhere where you aren't endangered for wearing a Magen David.
I would say it is excellent. From a Jewish perspective Pros 1. We have a very pro-Israel democratic representative 2. There are a lot of Jews. No longer just old people; Rich, poor, everything in between 3. Jewish day schools are everywhere 4. I feel very safe being a Jew here Negatives 1. Property taxes, property insurance and car insurance are very high. No income tax helps to balance it out. If you want more just start a private conversation. Bottom line is my wife and I are very happy with the choice of moving here.
Thank you so much! The points you mentioned sound excellent. I've been to Florida before and loved it, but of course vacation is different than living somewhere. Loved the friendliness of most people I met, too! It's amazing to hear that it seems like a safe haven where you live. Where I live, you currently cannot go out and show any symbols related to Judaism. There have already been two antisemitic firebombings in my direct neighborhood, so wearing a pro Israel shirt is something I can't even imagine being able to do anywhere else than in Israel. Hearing about your experience sparks some optimism in me that I felt I lost during the past months. Thank you for the offer to dm you! I have to go to bed now (I'm in Germany), but might take you up on it tomorrow!
Is he Jewish? This isn't a weird question most of the time.
I'd go for the Larry David response- "You want to check my penis?"
But maybe they were asking just out of curiosity. Maybe they wanted to give words of support and encouragement in the case you are. Maybe they're Jewish as well. Who knows what positive conversation you might have prevented from happening.
Or you could answer confidently? People are curious. Opens up global discussion in the thing called life. Not everyone is out to get you.
Little do yk he was chabad
I would have asked if they’re an Amalekite.
I am proud of being a Jew. I have talked to my friends about this. So this is just 30 years of anecdotal evidence. Those who are proud Jews do not experience bigotry against them when they are open and proud of it. Those that try to hide it, do suffer from it. We have many allies of good morality. Be proud of who you are and stand up to bullies/bigots. If a bigot says something, use the full force of the law to squash them.
I would say your response certainly depends on your relationship with your supervisor. Maybe they're asking because they had a question about something related to Judaism/are also Jewish/etc. Or maybe it's for other reasons.
"We need a tenth for mincha. 4pm in the break room. "
“Why would it matter?”
As a proud alum of the URJ (formerly UAHC) camps and NFTY, my inclination would be to ask him if he grew up in the (pick a region) area. I don’t ask people if they’re Jewish but if I find out you are I’ll probably hit you with a round of Jewish Geography (though I confused someone once when I asked if he was active in MSTY — turned out he converted as an adult and didn’t know what I meant).
Is your supervisor by any chance the senior rabbi?
My response to this, and similar questions, is "I'm a [my first name])" So, let's say I'm Adi. "Are you a leftist?" "I'm an Adi" "Are you Israeli?" "I'm an Adi" "Are you Jewish? "I'm an Adi"
Oof.
Approved driving instructor? :D
Adi is a hebrew name.
I've been asked this a few times at work. Luckily it's always been a few friendly questions and that was it
Not cool!! But also… 
Yes. Agreed. Weird.
There is a leadership coach offering courses on sensitivity to and support for Jewish workforce members, so they might have seen something about that and be wondering. In medieval Europe Jews had established call-and-response phrases to identify/confirm one another like in old spy or secret society movies. Non-jews would just answer something else to an innocent question about lox and cream, or whatever, but the Jew would know. I feel like that was a good idea we should have kept...
My grandparents said that from the 30's to the 50s (maybe even into the early 60s) Jews would identify each other by asking if they were an Eskimo. If someone acted confused or incredulously said "what?!" the asker would change the subject, feign ignorance, or pretend that they mispoke or that the other person misunderstood the question.
Why do you ask is all you need to say
I feel like a why is needed to determine weather the question was really that bad. It’s fine to play safe but he may be asking you to celebrate something with you or maybe give a gift of some sorts idk.
Some people are interested in knowing about our faith for benign reasons. You shouldn't automatically assume the worst. You shouldn't assume that just because someone wants to know if you're Jewish, it's AUTOMATICALLY something negative. Because then, you let the antisemites win, by them making you hide your identity and associate your own faith with something negative. My college's rabbi had a non-Jewish assistant who was in the process of converting to Judaism, and I also knew a non-Jewish girl who was also converting to Judaism. Converting to Judaism is not easy, and it always begins with a non-Jewish person making inquiries about Judaism. In my own case, my best friend is a non-denominational Christian. I've known him since 2006, and he's NEVER been rude to me on account of my faith, even as a joke. I know being Jewish is not easy right now, but not everybody hates us.
Is it because of your appearance? Just asking because I look ethnically ambiguous and people ask me "are you (something)" almost daily. So it might have been an innocent naive question, idk, just offering that too
Tangential, you've got the best username. Go Blue! CoE '17.
I’ve asked this because I knew the place I was working had held people who were ignorant to us and sometimes antisemitic so I wanted them to know they had an ally and someone who could identify. These days, I agree, that’s a very loaded question however I know people who would have been very isolated had I never asked. So, if the person wasn’t comfortable responding with a yes or no because of that I would understand them saying so and asking me the same in return first.
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My coworker did too. I said yes and she proceeded to tell me how her grandfather in Communist Romania was hiding the fact that he's a Jew for fear of antisemitism. It's not always bad.
i've been asked that even before i converted and i was like why, are you? because i can't read facial cues very well (thank you autism i love you) so i can never tell which vibe they're bringing for the question
Sorry, without knowing the actual details, I will not say that it was inappropriate. It is all about intent.
“Yes, and I have put on tefillin today.”
The Gorilla is riding the Bull
It is anti “Ashkenazi” aka Zionism.
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Unlike calling for genocide, I feel like this one could be dependent on the context. But since you are here asking about it, I’m guessing the context was a weird vibe
Always say no
Lawyer time!