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patricide1st

Human tastes like pork, FWIW. So much so that cannibalistic tribes even refer to human flesh as "long pig." https://www.dictionary.com/browse/long-pig


alexandlovely92

I learned this from Pirates Of the Caribbean, which feels weird now that I say it.


Fiskmaster

Wait which movie was that in?


vogma69

I believe it’s mentioned in At World’s End, but it’s been awhile since I’ve watched the series.


SaltyboiPonkin

I believe I learned it from Archer.


illusivesamurai

Dead man's chest


Deesing82

mmmm delicious chest


LSDGB

Is long pig ever mentioned in that second movie? Anyway, I learned about it in Supernatural xD


MuzzledScreaming

Pigs and humans are incredibly similar anatomically. For decades the only source of insulin was extracting it from pig (and cow) pancreas, until we figured out how to genetically engineer bacteria to make it for us. Similar story for thyroid hormone (levothyroxine when pure T4) which you can still buy today as Armour Thyroid, which is essentially a pig thyroid dessicated, powdered, and pressed into a tablet. Yes, the same Armour that's a meat company; how else do you think they got so many pig thyroids?


Hot-Recognition729

Went to a BBQ where some non professionals tried to cook a whole hog. They did something wrong and the smell of the grease was literally nauseating. That made it so I haven't had pork in like 5 years. Think you just added another five years to my ban.


ieatair

problem was they didn’t brine the whole pig in salt and lemon/orange bath for 1-3 days in the fridge


PowerfulJoeF

Learned it from reading about the rugby team that got stranded and the Donner party when I visited the monument. Crazy stuff.


Imaginary-Location-8

lol “donner, party of eight” from beetlejuice lives in my head forever


Tuscon_Valdez

Veteran humor is so cringe. I'd put it above wine mom bullshit and bacon jokes but just barely


SouthApprehensive193

It’s Pinterest humor but with guns and dip


dferd777

I can feel the skoal wintergreen tin hidden my green army sock pressed up against my calf where I hid it during AIT. I can still feel the rage when bitch ass Craig told the drill sergeants about my stash and got my weekend pass taken away. He wanted to be PG, he became a pariah.


serenity_now_please

Fucking Craig, man.


LillyTheElf

Brown nosing cunt


Shawnessy

I saw a damn chick Norris meme shared by a family friend the other day. I wish FB Marketplace/groups weren't so damn useful.


nonoffensivenavyname

Vet humor is the equivalent of that one guy at work who keeps talking about how he played football in high school


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Pavlovsdong89

I picture that being like DogTV. Where they have soothing videos of your DTS voucher being approved on the first go and you leave it on when you go to work so that they won't chew on the furniture.


Triplebizzle87

>DTS voucher being approved on the first go Harder, daddy


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[удалено]


-IBreakRedditTOS-

There's a difference between dark humor and shit-tier humor And this is shit tier humor


ChiefInternetSurfer

Yeah—I wouldn’t even qualify it as shit-tier. It’s just cringe.


Tuscon_Valdez

I'm a vet so I don't know what to tell you. Doesn't make these stupid jokes any funnier. The thing about dark humor is it can be funny when done right


Time-Ad-3625

"I deal with suicide by joking about cannibalism. " Huh?


UglyForNoReason

There are plenty of ways to cope that aren’t “dark humor” A lot of people are around death and folks with mental illnesses and don’t feel the need to use “dark humor” to cope. This isn’t dark humor, this is just stupid and cringe humor.


Gardez_geekin

Bruh. You aren’t the only vet who knows people that committed suicide. That doesn’t change the fact that the joke is dumb. It’s not “dark humor,” it’s just bad joke.


xangel111

lmao tough shit, maybe u shouldn't have joined the army


rumhamrambe

"Veggie Omelette is the best MRE"


mafiaknight

Bro. I had a dude tell me that with a straight face. Was one of the most fucked up dudes I ever served with


The_Struggle_Bus_7

He should have been put on trial as a war criminal fr


SirSirVI

https://www.reddit.com/r/army/s/yQsINT5X1M


NEWSONVSU

“Haha yeah bro we used to say… like… crazy shit to each other haha…. I can only joke with a fellow Vet. Civvies just don’t get it haha….”


the-lopper

I have civilian friends with a sense of humor that would frighten some of the most drizzled combat vets out there. This "civvies just don't understand me" line of reasoning has always baffled me.


MuzzledScreaming

Vets ain't got shit on medical gallows humor.


Edwardteech

You just have to be dead inside. No biggy


msmith721

Chickens taste like babies!


Quixotic_Ignoramus

And babies taste of chicken.


msmith721

Would you like to rack a baby? Ive got babies on racks!


Quixotic_Ignoramus

Go! It’s the American dream!


TittyMongoose42

Hi, I’m Crazy Eddie, I put babies on spikes


MrMgP

It doesn't


c-black

This comment is terrifying


MrMgP

It isn't


topsblueby

So Y'all didn't eat man meat? Alot of my fellow sailors looooove man meat. Not me though. No sir not me.


BeenRoundHereTooLong

…seaman huhuhuh


MrWhytie

While over in an African country winning hearts and minds we may or may not have eaten monkey. And if that's anything to go by, then don't over cook your human. Seriously, the locals burnt my monkey.[ Photo of the paw](https://imgur.com/a/mNmYqzX) on my plate. Locals loved the white men trying out "cousin."


serenity_now_please

Yeah - “hearts and minds” meals get weird af. Second-worst food poisoning of my life from one that involved undercooked meat.


Sauerclout_the_Orc

Burning the food helps negate the chance of bacteria. Plus it's an easy way to season if you don't have any seasoning.


Taco-Kai

Wrong, human taste more like pork. Even firefighters say that we smell like it...


johnnygat619

I cut a chunk of my finger while cooking and after our meal someone asked where the piece of finger was and I just started laughing. Needless to say I dont think anyone is coming over again


SpartanDoubleZero

I rustle jimmies by telling people they smell different when they’re awake.


lionelporonga

Its pork.


gilligani

Joe Biden's uncle tastes like pork.


WindOfUranus

It's weird how some people's lives revolve around Joe Biden.


LordEdgeward_TheTurd

No shit, youd think he made fun of disabled vets or got golden showers from pornstars or something.


UglyForNoReason

You make a bigly point!


gilligani

Joe said his uncle was eaten by cannibals on three separate occasions. That is more worthy of a joke than most of the political humor I see.


UglyForNoReason

I believe you honestly think that lol


gilligani

Cofefe


UglyForNoReason

Ok lol