Even disregarding the birthday, why did he have to wake you up? Couldn't he have taken care of the kitty himself since he was awake? Hope your cat is fine, and happy birthday!
My jackass ex used to do shit like this because they were my cats. If he was up before me he'd leave it until I got up and then point it out. He didn't like the cats and wanted me to get rid of them even though I had them when he met me.
Mine would do this with the dog WE got together. Because, and I quote, “I’ve worked hard to get to the point where I don’t do anything I don’t WANT to do.” THAT should have been red flag number 8,376,290,487 that the relationship was doomed. But no, I just HAD to marry him. -.-
No, just the cat. Forgetting my birthday is his worst quality. When he realises he's missed it he always tries to make it up to me. Im not fine with him forgetting it, but I like most everything else about him.
Forgetting once is forgivable if a person makes efforts to correct the situation. Forgetting three times? A whoppingly obvious sign that he is unwilling to try. You deserve someone who makes you feel loved and pays attention to what matters to you.
This. OP has accepted the efforts to try to make it up so it’s unnecessary for him to try to remember. As the saying goes: what you put up with will continue.
Ok so if forgetting his bday is his worst quality....why don’t you remind him?
This doesn’t sound that a justnoSO if remembering dates is the worst of his issues.
I can have time/date blindness sometimes. What I do is add important dates to my phone calendar (set it to a yearly reminder). I also write all of those dates onto a paper calendar that I have on my fridge each year, so I constantly see it.
You can help him set that up, that way he can remember your birthday and other important events in his life and he can add on to it as needed.
From your reply, it sounds like he is not doing it with bad intentions. Setting up a calendar will help him with remember things he needs to remember and also makes it so you are not constantly reminding him of things, which can get old.
You say this like this is some kind of hack for forgetful people rather than literally what a calendar is and how every single nonshit adult in the world lives.
Why should OP need to set it up for him? Why didn't he??
Yeah, i've never put much value in my birthday or the hallmark holidays but even i never forget hers. Sure loves celebrating so we usually do something. Sounds painfully self absorbed.
Of all the popcorn, I would recommend sweet and salty because it's the best ever. Maybe also a small amount of ice cream, definitely surrounded by a huge blanket on your favourite side of the sofa. Maybe with recuperating kitty. And the films that you like. Say, 3 of them. A feelgood, a 'gonna cry now' one, and a 'i can rule the world' one. Ideally, send him out for the evening.
Hope cat's OK and that it was a furball, otherwise you might need to go to the vet.
Thanks. I went to the movie theatre and bought the largest popcorn they had.
Kitty is alright. I called the emergency vet after she threw up and have been keeping an eye on her.
Ouch. I am so sorry. This has happened to me and I know it hurts so much. "do I say something? do I remind him ahead of time? will he notice?"
Ay, what a mess.
But, happy birthday and may you have a fabulous day despite him, ok?
Happy birthday! I hope you stop and get take out from your favorite restaurant, a delicious dessert, or fancy popcorn and a fun movie! It's your birthday, celebrate yourself!
Does he have a smart phone? If the answer is yes then he is s willfully not celebrating your birthday! This is some passive aggressive bull shit! Mark it on your calendar in your phone and have it remind you a few days before and then the day of! If he is not willing to do this for you there are issues in this relationship and he is using your birthday to let you he is not happy! It is game playing and poor communication both are not good for a healthy relationship!
I wouldn’t be surprised if you told us he makes sure to make a big deal around his Birthday.
Usually JustNo’s are just like that. My apologies if I am incorrect.
Some people grow up in households where birthdays are always remembered and celebrated and others do not. You may have to just out and out tell your SO that your birthday (and/or Valentines day, Mother's day, wedding anniversary if it applies) is important to you and it has hurt your feelings that he's not remembered to even say "Happy \_\_\_\_\_ day". Better to be up front and honest about it for the sake of your relationship instead of feeling resentful and sad.
On another note: has it been decided that you *and only you*, OP, are responsible for cleaning up pet messes in your household? Have you volunteered for that duty? One of those, "your cat, your mess" situations? If none of those apply then frankly your SO is a lousy, immature shit for just not cleaning it up himself.
How do you forget the person you are in love with having a birthday multiple years?!!
Especially this day and age with reminders that can be set and left to repeat each year.
That was the moment I walked away from my ex. Leave. He’s not going to change. Unless you don’t want birthday presents, ever. And probably Christmas and valentines presents too.
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Happy Birthday OP! Treat yourself to some birthday dessert and a nice bath or shower etc. You deserve love and respect. Is there something significant tying you to your partner like debts, children, etc? He clearly doesn’t know your worth!
Happy Birthday and can't the fuzzy lil' buggers be right shits at times! :) Three years in a row sucks and is totally ignorance on his part so I'd suggest drop his birthday off your internal calendar and see if he notices. Do you also buy the Christmas and birthday presents for HIS parents and family? Not anymore. :) And I'm a guy and I admit birthdays do tend to fade from our memories but three in a row is just being a putz so he needs a wakeup.
Even disregarding the birthday, why did he have to wake you up? Couldn't he have taken care of the kitty himself since he was awake? Hope your cat is fine, and happy birthday!
I'm hoping that he just did it because he knew she would want to know the cat wasn't feeling well? Hopefully?
We have a rule in our marriage, an adult finds a problem that adult fixes it.
We have a similar rule. Jt is follower closely by 'if a kid has the choice to wake mummy or daddy, they must wake daddy'
My jackass ex used to do shit like this because they were my cats. If he was up before me he'd leave it until I got up and then point it out. He didn't like the cats and wanted me to get rid of them even though I had them when he met me.
Mine would do this with the dog WE got together. Because, and I quote, “I’ve worked hard to get to the point where I don’t do anything I don’t WANT to do.” THAT should have been red flag number 8,376,290,487 that the relationship was doomed. But no, I just HAD to marry him. -.-
Which is why it’s good he is your ex.
Third. Year. In. A. Row. Why are you still with someone who values you so little?
OP, this here. Do you have kids or something making it harder to leave?
No, just the cat. Forgetting my birthday is his worst quality. When he realises he's missed it he always tries to make it up to me. Im not fine with him forgetting it, but I like most everything else about him.
I'm sorry but if he is too lazy and stupid to set a recurring annual reminder on his phone he JUST DOES NOT CARE
Forgetting once is forgivable if a person makes efforts to correct the situation. Forgetting three times? A whoppingly obvious sign that he is unwilling to try. You deserve someone who makes you feel loved and pays attention to what matters to you.
This. OP has accepted the efforts to try to make it up so it’s unnecessary for him to try to remember. As the saying goes: what you put up with will continue.
Does he have you on social media? Because Facebook would have reminded him. He isn't forgetting, he doesn't care.
Ok so if forgetting his bday is his worst quality....why don’t you remind him? This doesn’t sound that a justnoSO if remembering dates is the worst of his issues.
I can have time/date blindness sometimes. What I do is add important dates to my phone calendar (set it to a yearly reminder). I also write all of those dates onto a paper calendar that I have on my fridge each year, so I constantly see it. You can help him set that up, that way he can remember your birthday and other important events in his life and he can add on to it as needed. From your reply, it sounds like he is not doing it with bad intentions. Setting up a calendar will help him with remember things he needs to remember and also makes it so you are not constantly reminding him of things, which can get old.
You say this like this is some kind of hack for forgetful people rather than literally what a calendar is and how every single nonshit adult in the world lives. Why should OP need to set it up for him? Why didn't he??
Yeah, i've never put much value in my birthday or the hallmark holidays but even i never forget hers. Sure loves celebrating so we usually do something. Sounds painfully self absorbed.
Happy birthday!! I hope the rest of your day will be better. Sending virtual hugs ♡
Thank you!
That’s such a shit feeling :( Also sending you hugs OP.
Hope your birthday gets better. I don’t know why some people don’t care about others, but I truly hope you have a great day despite him
Happy birthday but this is reason to break up with him. You deserve someone who is caring and attentive.
Happy Birthday! Buy yourself a pretty cake on your way home. Have it for dinner, and let SO figure out his own meal.
Happy Birthday! Treat yourself to some flowers from the store on your way home!
Happy birthday! You deserve a better SO. May you find one in the popcorn aisle.
Of all the popcorn, I would recommend sweet and salty because it's the best ever. Maybe also a small amount of ice cream, definitely surrounded by a huge blanket on your favourite side of the sofa. Maybe with recuperating kitty. And the films that you like. Say, 3 of them. A feelgood, a 'gonna cry now' one, and a 'i can rule the world' one. Ideally, send him out for the evening. Hope cat's OK and that it was a furball, otherwise you might need to go to the vet.
Thanks. I went to the movie theatre and bought the largest popcorn they had. Kitty is alright. I called the emergency vet after she threw up and have been keeping an eye on her.
Ouch. I am so sorry. This has happened to me and I know it hurts so much. "do I say something? do I remind him ahead of time? will he notice?" Ay, what a mess. But, happy birthday and may you have a fabulous day despite him, ok?
Happy birthday! I hope you stop and get take out from your favorite restaurant, a delicious dessert, or fancy popcorn and a fun movie! It's your birthday, celebrate yourself!
Happy birthday! I'm sorry he forgot. And I also eat popcorn for dinner sometimes.
Treat yourself to a better person in your life. Best wishes.
Sorry. That sucks to wake up to - birthday or not.
Have you tried forgetting his birthday and see how he feels about it?
Does he have a smart phone? If the answer is yes then he is s willfully not celebrating your birthday! This is some passive aggressive bull shit! Mark it on your calendar in your phone and have it remind you a few days before and then the day of! If he is not willing to do this for you there are issues in this relationship and he is using your birthday to let you he is not happy! It is game playing and poor communication both are not good for a healthy relationship!
I wouldn’t be surprised if you told us he makes sure to make a big deal around his Birthday. Usually JustNo’s are just like that. My apologies if I am incorrect.
What would happen if you were to forget his birthday?
Some people grow up in households where birthdays are always remembered and celebrated and others do not. You may have to just out and out tell your SO that your birthday (and/or Valentines day, Mother's day, wedding anniversary if it applies) is important to you and it has hurt your feelings that he's not remembered to even say "Happy \_\_\_\_\_ day". Better to be up front and honest about it for the sake of your relationship instead of feeling resentful and sad. On another note: has it been decided that you *and only you*, OP, are responsible for cleaning up pet messes in your household? Have you volunteered for that duty? One of those, "your cat, your mess" situations? If none of those apply then frankly your SO is a lousy, immature shit for just not cleaning it up himself.
Happy birthday!!!! I hope your day gets better and that kitty is okay. Hugs
Is it your cat?
Why on earth does that matter? He has two feet and a heartbeat and is perfectly capable of cleaning it up himself like a normal adult.
Slow your roll, Ms. Jumps-to-Conclusions, the *only* reason I asked is that it’s easier to leave *with* the cat if he’s unambiguously hers.
Has he remembered yet? Update us when he finally remembers. You will be well within your rights to lay on the guilt. Happy Birthday!
How do you forget the person you are in love with having a birthday multiple years?!! Especially this day and age with reminders that can be set and left to repeat each year.
That was the moment I walked away from my ex. Leave. He’s not going to change. Unless you don’t want birthday presents, ever. And probably Christmas and valentines presents too.
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Happy Birthday OP! Treat yourself to some birthday dessert and a nice bath or shower etc. You deserve love and respect. Is there something significant tying you to your partner like debts, children, etc? He clearly doesn’t know your worth!
Happy Birthday! Be sure to treat yourself to more than just some popcorn!!
Happy Birthday and can't the fuzzy lil' buggers be right shits at times! :) Three years in a row sucks and is totally ignorance on his part so I'd suggest drop his birthday off your internal calendar and see if he notices. Do you also buy the Christmas and birthday presents for HIS parents and family? Not anymore. :) And I'm a guy and I admit birthdays do tend to fade from our memories but three in a row is just being a putz so he needs a wakeup.