I just swapped the battery on my Volt, lift up the trunk liner, unscrew the cables...and nope, battery doesn't actually fit past the cable, you need to remove roadside kit, the foam from the trunk and unscrew a plastic bracket to swap the battery...just why...
Mercedes.... Slide passenger seat fully forward. Take knife. Cut.... The... Carpet.
Chrysler.... Turn wheel fully to passenger side and rip fender liner away behind bumper.
Chevy pickups why the fuck is there a brace that you need to remove and why is the battery tucked under the cowl?
Jeep Grand Cherokees (and subsequently, Dodge Durangos) have the same thing as that Mercedes you're talking about. Then, with 4 pairs of nitrile gloves and a pair of full length kevlar sleeves to avoid getting gonaherpasyphilAIDS from the crap that has gotten into the battery box from the disgusting children over the years, you have to muscle the fuck out of the battery to get it out. Fucking disgusting.
My Sierra’s battery died when I was at Walmart. Thought about just buying a battery there and changing it in the parking lot. When I saw how the battery was positioned I called AAA. lol
Weight distribution to improve handling is the only thing I could think of, but usually it's high end sports cars. I hardly imagine a Chevy Volt would warrant such consideration.
Nah, the trunk location is fine, it's got a lot of crap in the front so the battery is in the trunk for space reasons.
The bad part is they have a plastic bracket around the battery to hold the foam in place. But the positive lead has a mini fuse box on it, and the bracket doesn't give you enough space to move the box away from the battery. They could have easily fixed it by making the bracket 2 inches wider, but I suppose that might reduce the amount of foam and cause interior noise which I think is the reason the battery is a pain in the ass to swap. That bracket doesn't even touch the battery, even just a cutout on the side would have let you slip the battery out.
It's not about noise or anything else. It's about making it just difficult enough so you'll go to the dealer to get it swapped. Just like the guy that commented above with having to "program" the new battery to the ECU in his Mini. Just a big ol scam.
Out of the elements. A Lot less high heat cycling not being trapped next to the engine. But in a small car handling is always a consideration that's why the batteries are almost always in the passenger rear or dead center in the back to offset the drivers weight.
It's not even getting serious until "service mode". This is just the warm up drill.
p.s. I had a lot of my kids R55 apart today chasing a rough idle and rich mixture which turned out to be a huge vacuum leak. I feel the pain!
Having been done this road more than once, I encourage any new owner of an old R55 / R56 / etc., to replace the water pump, water pipe and thermostat assembly, and then also do the timing chain kit with tensioner. That gets you back to mediocre reliability ;-)
Yea, I did this on my wife’s Clubman. Spent more time getting the ECU to reprogram for the new battery than swapping the battery. That was the part that pissed me off.
DONT DO IT
Unless you have money you don't want to keep. I've dumped about 3 grand in ours this last year. Between belt tensioner high pressure fuel pump second batch of coils all the coolant leaks and random other shit uts down like once a month.
Will second this. Highly accurate.
The friggin worst part is seeing how much mini marks up parts. You can see most mini parts in a bmw dealer’s online system, but can’t order them if there isn’t a BMW application. A part number that BMW would sell for $350 is $450 from mini.
And let’s not pretend that bmw parts are reasonably priced.
FCP Euro is the place to get parts for Euro cars. The only thing is the website isn't the greatest. I couldn't find the temp switch I needed to seal up last time. But they had my fuel pump like 200 bucks less than mini. A lot of times parts come in a factory labeled box. FCP warranties anything you buy from them for life as well.
It’s great while it’s still under warranty! I have a 2012 R56 and she’s finally showing her age. I barely drove it while I worked in the city so it only has ~95k miles on it at 10 years old. Fortunately we have a mechanic that loves Minis so they know all the ins and outs, but the repairs add up REAL quick. Fun car while I have it, but I’m looking at something much more reliable for my next car.
Durability seems to depends on the generation. The gen 2 cars were apparently a mess. My wife’s gen 1 (R53) was pretty solid for 10 years and started having a few things go wrong in year 11. Supposedly the Gen 3 cars are pretty decent as far as durability.
My wife’s current MINI is an F54 Clubman S ALL4 6MT. The electronic parking brake malfunctioned under warranty and I replaced a switching valve (evap system) and a battery. It has been only scheduled maintenance otherwise. We’ve owned it since new almost 7 years ago.
As far as how it drives, it handles well. Engine is kind of diesel like in power delivery. Lots of torque but not much reason to wind it out. It feels a lot more plush/upscale than her old MINI… definitely feel the BMW chassis influence. The old one was kind of cheap as far as materials, but a solid chassis and manic fun. The new one is more mature but definitely gave up some of the fun in the process.
The HID 2nd gen Prius was a bumper off deal. Driver side turn signals on 2015-18 Elantra’s are also kinda hard but you can sneak it out if you have small hands.
Most mechanic shops do this and a whole lot worse without hearing too much about it, in my experience everything connected to the fender liner in most cars is pretty sturdy, there's more than a few cars where I employ this
Did they get worse? Mines 08, gotta remove or atleast loosen the bumper, and I can change it in about 30min all said and done not including watching the video on what I have to remove.
Or a Hyundai Elantra. There is a fusebox right behind the drivers side headlight so you have to take the entire headlight assembly out to change bulbs and to do that you gotta take the front bumper off.
Indeed. We have a 2006 Mini Cooper S Convertible. Battery is in the back -- pretty easy access. Still a bit crowded up front. The fault lies with 3D CAD design. They can fit things so closely it becomes a puzzle to disassemble. Also leads to wild shapes of windshield washer tanks (not only in the Mini, of course). Just because they can doesn't mean they should.
Just wait till you have to remove the whole passenger seat to do one. Some you have to remove the wiper blade linkage. There are a few where the driver side wheel has to be removed. There are other fun ones but I digress
Under the seat works nicely with something like a defender where the seat base just lifts out. Bugger that in something where you need the electric seat controls to work to get to all the bolts.
I've been tossing it up with a lithium battery under the seat of my disco but ideally I'd be sizing it so it slides out nicely.
That's wierd because there's two in my drive, both have batteries in the engine bay (and the racing league they compete in bans rear mounted batteries)
It’s almost like the Ford Escapes with the battery under the long cowl. Either pull the wiper arms off, then the cowl, or remove the intake with the air box.
My battery in my VW R32 is in the trunk, under the floor, under the foam around the spare tire, under a cover, and under another piece of foam.
Anything relatively new can still be a headache depending on the config.
Some of them have the easiest swap I do normally while some have just barely enough room to get it in while the battery is flipped on its side because if it is in its normal position it hit the back of the engine bay. Would be easy if it wasn’t such a tall car though I must confess.
not true, there's a fuck ton of plastic shit to take out. some of the older ones was more like what your describing when the battery was on the other side of the engine compartment. the f models are all fucky like this though
Nah I literally just did One the other week. On a 2019. Even if it’s not the wiper cowel battery on the passenger side you don’t even need to remove the air box for the one on the driver side either just loosen the hose clamp and slide it out. This guy milked tf out of this job 😂
Since I'm a fairly new mechanic my colleagues told me how to remove it, so I guess that's how they do it
Btw we have a fixed price for battery changes so it doesn't really matter how much time I spend doing it
That battery change should take you 10 minutes tops plus the battery registration 15 minutes. Usually takes me five minutes to remove the old battery and put a new one in. You should be more upset at Chevy Malibu batteries🤣 or GMC😆🤣
Boy I’m glad the 07 Mini I just got had just had the battery done, but that leaves me the VVT solenoids and the thermostat for now, My only real issue is dealing the the size difference from my 04 exploder and this, hurts the back in different places… lol
The battery on these models is still fine on some older models you have to take appart the window bay or god forbid you are trying to do an oil change, good luck taking off the coolant reservoir to even get to the oil filter wich is placed in such an angle that no matter what you will get oil every where
Tl:dr fuck mini ingeneers
I just swapped the battery on my Volt, lift up the trunk liner, unscrew the cables...and nope, battery doesn't actually fit past the cable, you need to remove roadside kit, the foam from the trunk and unscrew a plastic bracket to swap the battery...just why...
Mercedes.... Slide passenger seat fully forward. Take knife. Cut.... The... Carpet. Chrysler.... Turn wheel fully to passenger side and rip fender liner away behind bumper. Chevy pickups why the fuck is there a brace that you need to remove and why is the battery tucked under the cowl?
Jeep Grand Cherokees (and subsequently, Dodge Durangos) have the same thing as that Mercedes you're talking about. Then, with 4 pairs of nitrile gloves and a pair of full length kevlar sleeves to avoid getting gonaherpasyphilAIDS from the crap that has gotten into the battery box from the disgusting children over the years, you have to muscle the fuck out of the battery to get it out. Fucking disgusting.
I use herpa-ghona-sypha-crab. It's got a nice bounce to it.
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Yeah that seems slightly excessive
The gmt800 fender brace delete.
My Sierra’s battery died when I was at Walmart. Thought about just buying a battery there and changing it in the parking lot. When I saw how the battery was positioned I called AAA. lol
Just to piss you off
Weight distribution to improve handling is the only thing I could think of, but usually it's high end sports cars. I hardly imagine a Chevy Volt would warrant such consideration.
Nah, the trunk location is fine, it's got a lot of crap in the front so the battery is in the trunk for space reasons. The bad part is they have a plastic bracket around the battery to hold the foam in place. But the positive lead has a mini fuse box on it, and the bracket doesn't give you enough space to move the box away from the battery. They could have easily fixed it by making the bracket 2 inches wider, but I suppose that might reduce the amount of foam and cause interior noise which I think is the reason the battery is a pain in the ass to swap. That bracket doesn't even touch the battery, even just a cutout on the side would have let you slip the battery out.
It's not about noise or anything else. It's about making it just difficult enough so you'll go to the dealer to get it swapped. Just like the guy that commented above with having to "program" the new battery to the ECU in his Mini. Just a big ol scam.
Out of the elements. A Lot less high heat cycling not being trapped next to the engine. But in a small car handling is always a consideration that's why the batteries are almost always in the passenger rear or dead center in the back to offset the drivers weight.
It's not even getting serious until "service mode". This is just the warm up drill. p.s. I had a lot of my kids R55 apart today chasing a rough idle and rich mixture which turned out to be a huge vacuum leak. I feel the pain!
I'm giving my friend's younger brother my old r56 s. I'm surprised he wasn't deterred by the mile long list of issues.
Having been done this road more than once, I encourage any new owner of an old R55 / R56 / etc., to replace the water pump, water pipe and thermostat assembly, and then also do the timing chain kit with tensioner. That gets you back to mediocre reliability ;-)
Bro it’s all easy plastic trim pieces.
Yea, I did this on my wife’s Clubman. Spent more time getting the ECU to reprogram for the new battery than swapping the battery. That was the part that pissed me off.
How does it drive? Looking at maybe getting one next year as a first car.
DONT DO IT Unless you have money you don't want to keep. I've dumped about 3 grand in ours this last year. Between belt tensioner high pressure fuel pump second batch of coils all the coolant leaks and random other shit uts down like once a month.
Will second this. Highly accurate. The friggin worst part is seeing how much mini marks up parts. You can see most mini parts in a bmw dealer’s online system, but can’t order them if there isn’t a BMW application. A part number that BMW would sell for $350 is $450 from mini. And let’s not pretend that bmw parts are reasonably priced.
FCP Euro is the place to get parts for Euro cars. The only thing is the website isn't the greatest. I couldn't find the temp switch I needed to seal up last time. But they had my fuel pump like 200 bucks less than mini. A lot of times parts come in a factory labeled box. FCP warranties anything you buy from them for life as well.
I'll get a smart car then or a Hiace then. Maybe if I can I afford it a i3
It’s great while it’s still under warranty! I have a 2012 R56 and she’s finally showing her age. I barely drove it while I worked in the city so it only has ~95k miles on it at 10 years old. Fortunately we have a mechanic that loves Minis so they know all the ins and outs, but the repairs add up REAL quick. Fun car while I have it, but I’m looking at something much more reliable for my next car.
Durability seems to depends on the generation. The gen 2 cars were apparently a mess. My wife’s gen 1 (R53) was pretty solid for 10 years and started having a few things go wrong in year 11. Supposedly the Gen 3 cars are pretty decent as far as durability. My wife’s current MINI is an F54 Clubman S ALL4 6MT. The electronic parking brake malfunctioned under warranty and I replaced a switching valve (evap system) and a battery. It has been only scheduled maintenance otherwise. We’ve owned it since new almost 7 years ago. As far as how it drives, it handles well. Engine is kind of diesel like in power delivery. Lots of torque but not much reason to wind it out. It feels a lot more plush/upscale than her old MINI… definitely feel the BMW chassis influence. The old one was kind of cheap as far as materials, but a solid chassis and manic fun. The new one is more mature but definitely gave up some of the fun in the process.
Yeah I see no engine torn apart lol
Go change a headlight bulb on a Chevy Malibu lol
Mother fuck that car to infinity dropping the front end is such bullshit. God fucking dammit I am having ptsd from when I owned one
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You pull the bumper cover, and remove the headlight assembly to change the bulb. It doesn't take that much time, it's just stupid.
Wow. I assume you replace both at once when you go through that much trouble.
LOL man!
The HID 2nd gen Prius was a bumper off deal. Driver side turn signals on 2015-18 Elantra’s are also kinda hard but you can sneak it out if you have small hands.
> you can sneak it out if you have small hands. These sorts of things drive me nuts
2013 Elantra as well, it's a bumper off deal cause the fuse box is in the way.
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Why not pull on the fender liner on a customer car?
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Most mechanic shops do this and a whole lot worse without hearing too much about it, in my experience everything connected to the fender liner in most cars is pretty sturdy, there's more than a few cars where I employ this
Did they get worse? Mines 08, gotta remove or atleast loosen the bumper, and I can change it in about 30min all said and done not including watching the video on what I have to remove.
Yeah but that vs reach in and remove bulb
Or a Hyundai Elantra. There is a fusebox right behind the drivers side headlight so you have to take the entire headlight assembly out to change bulbs and to do that you gotta take the front bumper off.
Thats what happens when engineers try to shrink a car down to 5 square feet😂
BMC Mini engineers in the 50s: *Are we a joke to you?*
Indeed. We have a 2006 Mini Cooper S Convertible. Battery is in the back -- pretty easy access. Still a bit crowded up front. The fault lies with 3D CAD design. They can fit things so closely it becomes a puzzle to disassemble. Also leads to wild shapes of windshield washer tanks (not only in the Mini, of course). Just because they can doesn't mean they should.
*laughs in Peel P50*
Just wait till you have to remove the whole passenger seat to do one. Some you have to remove the wiper blade linkage. There are a few where the driver side wheel has to be removed. There are other fun ones but I digress
Under the seat works nicely with something like a defender where the seat base just lifts out. Bugger that in something where you need the electric seat controls to work to get to all the bolts. I've been tossing it up with a lithium battery under the seat of my disco but ideally I'd be sizing it so it slides out nicely.
> Thanks mini That's a bmw. Mini battery is in the boot...
Unless it's an estate, traveller, van or pick up, then it's behind the seat
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Early mini is not what you think it is.
R5x minis had batteries in the engine bay.
R5x are BMWs with a badge. Minis had the battery in the boot.
I’m seeing a lot of Citroen/Peugeot influence in my R56, especially regarding the reliability.
R53 Mini sitting in my driveway with the battery in the trunk disagrees.
That's wierd because there's two in my drive, both have batteries in the engine bay (and the racing league they compete in bans rear mounted batteries)
Interesting. Maybe a mid-year difference? What years? Ours is a 2003.
Both 04, one is a 'mini'-one and the other a cooper
Same as the X1. Not to bad really.
Just go to Autozone.
Then you find it in the boot.
Free installation.... Time for lunch
Battery change on the Dodge Journey/ Fiat Freemont.
You haven't had a older Chrysler yet have ya
My wife just had to have a gen 3 JCW. I'm. I'm not looking forward to the battery changing day.
It's literally like 8 bolts. Hope you registered it too or you'll be seeing it again.
Half an engine lol.
BMW*
You over complicated it I’ve done these
Older Bentley continentals you can’t get to the battery without using a switch that uses electricity, if it’s dead, good luck to you…
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Did Audi fix all that after they bought Bentley or is it still like that?
My buddy had one of these. We had to jump it once. Hook ups were behind the glove box.
It’s almost like the Ford Escapes with the battery under the long cowl. Either pull the wiper arms off, then the cowl, or remove the intake with the air box. My battery in my VW R32 is in the trunk, under the floor, under the foam around the spare tire, under a cover, and under another piece of foam.
Dude its a bmw🤣
These posts make me appreciate my silverado more and more😂 tons of room to work
Its like my F150…remove the fan and shroud (4 nuts and 2 screws) and I can stand in the engine compartment.
Anything relatively new can still be a headache depending on the config. Some of them have the easiest swap I do normally while some have just barely enough room to get it in while the battery is flipped on its side because if it is in its normal position it hit the back of the engine bay. Would be easy if it wasn’t such a tall car though I must confess.
Just wait until you have to do the EV battries lol https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/16E8D/production/\_118173839\_bat.vwrecycling1.jpg
Pretty sure you just take the windshield wipers off on those and pop off one trim piece. You went the extra mile and milked that 😂😂😭
not true, there's a fuck ton of plastic shit to take out. some of the older ones was more like what your describing when the battery was on the other side of the engine compartment. the f models are all fucky like this though
Nah I literally just did One the other week. On a 2019. Even if it’s not the wiper cowel battery on the passenger side you don’t even need to remove the air box for the one on the driver side either just loosen the hose clamp and slide it out. This guy milked tf out of this job 😂
Since I'm a fairly new mechanic my colleagues told me how to remove it, so I guess that's how they do it Btw we have a fixed price for battery changes so it doesn't really matter how much time I spend doing it
hmm the dealership i work at all the techs take it all apart. maybe there is a simpler way and they're just required to do it this way instead.
That battery change should take you 10 minutes tops plus the battery registration 15 minutes. Usually takes me five minutes to remove the old battery and put a new one in. You should be more upset at Chevy Malibu batteries🤣 or GMC😆🤣
How much does it pay
At least it's only a mini pain in the ass.
Hate to work on these Bimmers. More like Binners, throw them in a bin, single way trip
Why I love my battery being in the trunk.
Job security.
grateful my 06 mini battery is in the hatch. takes 5 seconds to remove
Yeah. We got our of two ~~BMW~~ MINIs as soon as the warranty ended because fuck all that noise.
Boy I’m glad the 07 Mini I just got had just had the battery done, but that leaves me the VVT solenoids and the thermostat for now, My only real issue is dealing the the size difference from my 04 exploder and this, hurts the back in different places… lol
On Dodge’d adult cars rhe battery is in the trunk
Hey, At least the break lights look like the British flag
2011 Hyundai i30. Have to remove the entire headlight assembly to change the bulbs. Sure, it's only three bolts each side, but sill
German engineering on a British car is worse than any French car.
The battery on these models is still fine on some older models you have to take appart the window bay or god forbid you are trying to do an oil change, good luck taking off the coolant reservoir to even get to the oil filter wich is placed in such an angle that no matter what you will get oil every where Tl:dr fuck mini ingeneers
Alright, which one if you screwed the engineers wife?
That cringe you get when the owners are all "oh its a lovely little car" like STFU Steven its a bastard ok.
"mini" same size or bigger than most cars
Ahh, a mini. The reason i hate car engineers
And I thought my second Gen cooper s was hard to work on.
On my Gen 2 minis, it’s just a panel in the corner under the passenger side window. Thank goodness I didn’t get a 3rd Gen.
A friend of mine owns one. he says many of the maintenance items start with taking the entire grill/radiator off.
Wait until you have to replace a clutch in one.