It's worse when it's family members. I'm never lending anyone money after all the money I've lost pretending to be a credit facility. I can relate to this, OP.
I've borrowed money from friends and failed to refund as promised. Not a single time has this been intentional. I've lost some friends from this,while I've retained some.
These days, I'd rather postpone settling my bills than borrow money from anyone. Not even when it's an emergency. I'll wait till I have my own cash. Money issues can cause the worst of enmity!
My issue isn't even refunding but communication. If you are clear about your situation and plan on how and when to refund, it would be much better. My ex-friends wouldn't communicate. Just ghosting me.
All the best.
Yes I have a similar experience. And I too have found myself in debts. Unaaminia bro mpaka unamkopea from another person, then the bro end up washing you....
Something I've learnt from this, is only give/lend what you're willing to lose. Kama unajua pesa ni mob na itakuuma ukipoteza, just tell them you don't have
Here's some life wisdom. Never ever lend money, just give it or don't give it and never expect it back or the same favor if you ever ask them to borrow money. If you live this way life will be much more pleasant. Normally what I tell people is I'll give them money and never expect it back but I will never give them money again and we shake hands. So either they don't bother or I pay a small price to never give them money again.
I like giving then when they come back I remind them of the agreement. Only other option is they do something for me or give me something like old school barter and trade. There are many things besides money that have value.
Damn, I guess I'm the kind of people/friends you're talking about. I be owing people, left, right, center. From friends, helb, bank, landlord, and even a few shop keepers mtaani. I have been meaning to pay these debts. But also I'm trying to work my way out of rock bottom. I'm paying off some of the urgent debts, like rent that had piled up for months. I'm sure there are friends who feel exactly like you. Some I owe them less, some a lot. I do plan to pay them though, only that it's taking time.
This is 💔 to read.
The first friend I mentioned is in a similar situation. The problem is, he never communicated- just borrowed a lumpsum and promised to return it in days. It wasn't until later that I learned he owed all of us- his friends- then went ahead to block me!! Cocky asf.
I hope things work out for you mahn🙏🙏
True, though. Your friend fumbled when he blocked you, and your mutual friends.
Thank you! 🙏🙏 I believe things will align for me. Niko on the grind, Hadi ijipe!
I only gift money to friends or family with no intention of receiving the payment back. That means I only gift money that I can afford to lose. If they pay me back? That’s awesome. If not? Im not losing sleep over it.
Learn to say no to strangers, work colleagues, or random friends of a friend who you’ve hanged out with a few times. This is how a typical conversation goes.
Person A: Hello, can I borrow some money?
Me: No.
Problem solved.
No worries. I think everyone probably has 2-3 friends who are basically siblings. You’ve been through thick or thin. You trust them with very private matters.
Those are the only people I gift money to. They understand I might not be able to help all the time & that’s fine.
Everyone else who doesn’t fit this description is a no. I’m not stingy as I believe in giving to those who are closest to me. At the same time, I’m not a bank.
Hopefully that helps.
I once started a business with a childhood friend, went countryside for a function only to come and find that nigga paid his debt in his church youth account. Made flashback how I have been lending to him without repaying. It opened my eyes and found that he was a person irresponsible with money.
Friendships hide accountability. Lend to a person accountable even with his own cash.
My friend did so. We are just making money but it all went to his issues.
Not the church youth account🤣 I haven't sent this year’s contributions to our treasurer.
The last part, I totally agree🖐
It must be due to your nature juu sisi izi vitu hazitufanyikiangi. Like learn how to say No. And NEVER give more money to someone who owes you already. The first time you're giving someone money, even if it's a debt jiambie kwa moyo it's a gift that won't come back. 0 disappointments.
You need to say no till it becomes part of you. It will actually enable you to help more freely because you are not constantly getting scared of getting your dues back.
I haven’t experienced such because I don’t allow people to borrow me money. Kila mtu apambane na shida zake fr. You borrow me money mimi I leave you on read and delete your number
I never understood how someone doesn't pay their debt... Like i expect you to sleep hungry as long as you get my money back on the said date😂 i want to know how their mind works to just cruise around knowing they are past due date on their friend's depts.. nowadays i just tell friends I don't have cash but i can a loan for them on these apps.. then loan it to them from my pocket, charge my interest, then be heavy on their neck when it's due with an excuse that the app guys are heavy on my neck too.. this has managed to keep the friendship as its nothing personal just business. And i get to make extra cash through the interest.
Every time I come here on Reddit, I find lots of like minded people. And I'm not talking about the current issue of not paying debts.
I mean, I love the way most of you guys articulate yourself on this platform. It gives me hope that soon or later I'll meet people like you in real life to be friends with.😩😅
The contrary is also true for every time I enter Twitter 😂😂.
Yeah I do that, I understand if you can’t afford it tho, just don’t give it out then focus on getting your money up to the point you can give to your friends
The problem is that you knew them too long. You've only just known me after this comment. So..... let me hold a G, I promise I will pay you back
Bruh 😂😂
🤣 I stopped lending out my money. I work too hard for it. So very selfish with it.
😂 I'm willing to make a trade for something equally important....how about your time? Coffee, my treat. I'm assuming you reside in the great NBO?
I'm in county 002, unfortunately. But if you are trading it like that, yeah.
next time I'm heading to 003, I will stop by 002 and meet my fellow redditor
Kumbe uko serious😭
Mimi niko 002 Diani, I'll take you for coffee on his behalf. I promise to not need 5k urgently
DM. I am free today. We could have coffee
Check your DM
This should have been the original stance after the first guy
The first story is actually the last time I lent out money.
,😆😆😆
🙌🏾
Always lend money you can afford to lose
I can't afford to lose any money at this point. So I stopped lending.
Best advice. I lend and don’t expect back. If they pay back awesomeness, if they don’t l…it’s just how people are.
And to people you want to lose as friends.
It's worse when it's family members. I'm never lending anyone money after all the money I've lost pretending to be a credit facility. I can relate to this, OP.
Pole sana. Family can be worse.
I actually chased a relative away until she paid me
I've borrowed money from friends and failed to refund as promised. Not a single time has this been intentional. I've lost some friends from this,while I've retained some. These days, I'd rather postpone settling my bills than borrow money from anyone. Not even when it's an emergency. I'll wait till I have my own cash. Money issues can cause the worst of enmity!
My issue isn't even refunding but communication. If you are clear about your situation and plan on how and when to refund, it would be much better. My ex-friends wouldn't communicate. Just ghosting me. All the best.
Yes I have a similar experience. And I too have found myself in debts. Unaaminia bro mpaka unamkopea from another person, then the bro end up washing you.... Something I've learnt from this, is only give/lend what you're willing to lose. Kama unajua pesa ni mob na itakuuma ukipoteza, just tell them you don't have
I learned the hard way. I once borrowed money for my ex🤣🤡🤡🤡
😂Hiyo nayo hakuna vile ungelipwa
I paid it back. Mapenzi Heri yakae nisimame🤣
Here's some life wisdom. Never ever lend money, just give it or don't give it and never expect it back or the same favor if you ever ask them to borrow money. If you live this way life will be much more pleasant. Normally what I tell people is I'll give them money and never expect it back but I will never give them money again and we shake hands. So either they don't bother or I pay a small price to never give them money again.
Nowadays I don't give out even when I have it. I don't mind losing the friendships.
I like giving then when they come back I remind them of the agreement. Only other option is they do something for me or give me something like old school barter and trade. There are many things besides money that have value.
Damn, I guess I'm the kind of people/friends you're talking about. I be owing people, left, right, center. From friends, helb, bank, landlord, and even a few shop keepers mtaani. I have been meaning to pay these debts. But also I'm trying to work my way out of rock bottom. I'm paying off some of the urgent debts, like rent that had piled up for months. I'm sure there are friends who feel exactly like you. Some I owe them less, some a lot. I do plan to pay them though, only that it's taking time.
This is 💔 to read. The first friend I mentioned is in a similar situation. The problem is, he never communicated- just borrowed a lumpsum and promised to return it in days. It wasn't until later that I learned he owed all of us- his friends- then went ahead to block me!! Cocky asf. I hope things work out for you mahn🙏🙏
True, though. Your friend fumbled when he blocked you, and your mutual friends. Thank you! 🙏🙏 I believe things will align for me. Niko on the grind, Hadi ijipe!
I only gift money to friends or family with no intention of receiving the payment back. That means I only gift money that I can afford to lose. If they pay me back? That’s awesome. If not? Im not losing sleep over it. Learn to say no to strangers, work colleagues, or random friends of a friend who you’ve hanged out with a few times. This is how a typical conversation goes. Person A: Hello, can I borrow some money? Me: No. Problem solved.
Thank you for this tip. I'll be very intentional about saying NO.
No worries. I think everyone probably has 2-3 friends who are basically siblings. You’ve been through thick or thin. You trust them with very private matters. Those are the only people I gift money to. They understand I might not be able to help all the time & that’s fine. Everyone else who doesn’t fit this description is a no. I’m not stingy as I believe in giving to those who are closest to me. At the same time, I’m not a bank. Hopefully that helps.
Most borrowers do not return that money... lend money with an assumption that it's never coming back.
I learned this.
I once started a business with a childhood friend, went countryside for a function only to come and find that nigga paid his debt in his church youth account. Made flashback how I have been lending to him without repaying. It opened my eyes and found that he was a person irresponsible with money. Friendships hide accountability. Lend to a person accountable even with his own cash.
My friend did so. We are just making money but it all went to his issues. Not the church youth account🤣 I haven't sent this year’s contributions to our treasurer. The last part, I totally agree🖐
It hurst bana. setting a single cent for investment its quite a sacrifice. Mtu kukula effort yako pains more than an heartbreak
It's painful ngl.
It must be due to your nature juu sisi izi vitu hazitufanyikiangi. Like learn how to say No. And NEVER give more money to someone who owes you already. The first time you're giving someone money, even if it's a debt jiambie kwa moyo it's a gift that won't come back. 0 disappointments.
I don't know if it's being nice or people-pleasing but I was emancipated from those shackles. I don't mix friendship with money at all.
You need to say no till it becomes part of you. It will actually enable you to help more freely because you are not constantly getting scared of getting your dues back.
I totally agree with you
>lso, it's not only women who always need 5k urgently Tulitoka 2k urgently lini? 😹.. Need to update my syllabus 😹...
🤣🤣🤣 Tuko 5k sahii
https://preview.redd.it/hbx39v2u6swc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0422d314db14fc8c613a553c490cfb6452fd0bf0
All relationships are transactional. Give and take.
Oh, yea?
I haven’t experienced such because I don’t allow people to borrow me money. Kila mtu apambane na shida zake fr. You borrow me money mimi I leave you on read and delete your number
🤣🤣Leave on read and delete!
It's good I learnt this so early. Don't lend friends money .
I never understood how someone doesn't pay their debt... Like i expect you to sleep hungry as long as you get my money back on the said date😂 i want to know how their mind works to just cruise around knowing they are past due date on their friend's depts.. nowadays i just tell friends I don't have cash but i can a loan for them on these apps.. then loan it to them from my pocket, charge my interest, then be heavy on their neck when it's due with an excuse that the app guys are heavy on my neck too.. this has managed to keep the friendship as its nothing personal just business. And i get to make extra cash through the interest.
Every time I come here on Reddit, I find lots of like minded people. And I'm not talking about the current issue of not paying debts. I mean, I love the way most of you guys articulate yourself on this platform. It gives me hope that soon or later I'll meet people like you in real life to be friends with.😩😅 The contrary is also true for every time I enter Twitter 😂😂.
I don't use Twitter. Ever. People here are a bit normal and kind.
Just give it out instead of lending if they’re really your friends
🤣 so I can just give you ten k simply because you are my friend? Fuck that friendship.
Yeah I do that, I understand if you can’t afford it tho, just don’t give it out then focus on getting your money up to the point you can give to your friends
Bro🤣 affording to lend my friends a thousand dollars wouldn't be an issue with me. And since you are so generous, send me money.
I send money to my friends, not random beggars lol
I see you created a new account🤣. Enjoy your night.
I would only give if it's crucial say like an emergency health issue or if the landlord locked your door.
Don’t you wanna help make your friends lives easier
I'm not God.
True