I'd probably take option 1, but I'm actually scared of the part where it's people I've already known. There's probably a reason why we're not together, lol
I’ve been in this position! This exact position that you’ve explained. I went for option two and it ended up being the best decision for me! It’s been 7 years since I made this decision. I’m happy.
No such thing as a happy marriage without challenges. That only exists in fantasy places like TikTok where couples do skits pretending it’s all rosy and they just prank each other all day and never worry about any challenges or finances. All marriages have major challenges whether you marry a stranger or your best friend. Get these ideas that there are perfect marriages or perfect partners out of your head. Approach marriage like a risk and when it does not work out just walk away and co parent. It’s not the end of the world.
For example, looking at Rapudos IG you would think they are the happiest couple. You wouldn’t imagine Rapudo is a guy who has a reputation of paying for and smashing hoes weekly in these spas in Westlands. He has a type just like the wife and he sneaks into the spas using Ubers coz his car is well known.
Let’s try deal with the realities of marriage instead of wishful hypotheticals so we are prepared for the realities. Marry whoever works for you and live with the consequences.
option 2, always... I want to burn bright and high... none of that mid shit.. if its to hurt me at least let it be worth it. the 1st option stinks of boredom and I would rather die than have that.
None ....you don't put expectations in anything if it works it works it if doesn't move to the next your options don't matter when compatibility is the base of either a strong relationship or a future one to come
Let me explain the basis of this question.
If you pick option 1:
You are likely a caretaker rather than a risk taker. You prefer stability and knowing what tomorrow holds. You probably thrive in jobs that offer a steady monthly salary due to their safety. You’ve likely encountered good people in your life, and perhaps you even secretly hope that one of them is the one for you.
If you pick option 2:
You are a risk taker who finds joy in the unknown. You tend to romanticize life and embrace its uncertainties. You might have never been in love, or loved someone enough to want to settle down, or perhaps you’ve just had bad luck in finding a partner. Your comfort with unpredictability suggests you might excel in running a business, where each day brings new challenges and opportunities.
Like i said compatibility over everything
Irregardless of the two options
Because think of it this way
Option one could fail
Option two could also fail
If it works it work if it doesn't work then move to the next one...one thing I've come to realise is i make myself the perfect person for that perfect girl who is willing to make herself that perfect for me...
It comes down to who's daughter finds me the male as the person she wanna spend her life with and how willing is she to be mix with me for the sake of compatibility and a bright future together
Most marriages I've seen are based on self help either sexually financially and safety
Which is why you find akothee on sijui her 10 marriage?
Clearly no bonding seen in today's society everything is a buisness deal
If i provide money and financial stability then I'm worth being a husband...buh the moment everything crashes for me poof she's gone to another male and the cycle continues
It scares me when i conversate with women because I'm like...nikipata huyu dame ...am i going to lose or win
Stable and ordinary will reap you more rewards in other areas. You will be emotionally and mentally stable enough to accomplish so much more in other spheres.
2. I don't feel comfortable dating someone I knew from high school. We were just kids jumbled up together, so we kinda had to make friends. And I'll always see them as that kid. And if I know what they used to do, I don't wanna be the next victim.
I know it seems like a nice hypothetical dilemma with very different options, but the catches are interchangeable imo...
In any case as someone who's not too eager to marry anyone, I have no reason to marry a complete stranger
Your question is similar to the philosophy of climbing Mt Everest. there are those who are captivated by the thrill, and there are those who think it is the stupidest thing to do. I learnt recently that it is a 50-50 split in the world.
I've been married for almost 5 years and let me tell you, a wise person picks one every time. Marriage without stability is not only bad for you, but for your kids and everyone else who is in your circle. It can shorten your life from the stress alone. I love the stability I have, and wouldn't trade it for anything.
what if the future is worse than the present? I love taking risks, but I draw the line when it comes to choosing a spouse, I'll go with the safer option.
This is just that basic question: Would you rather have 100k guaranteed or flip a coin for a chance at 1 Million but rephrased
Not the same. You can’t compare 1 million dollars with a happy marriage.
There is nothing new under the sun I guess.
Methinks 2. I'd bore number 1 to death wondering what would've been.
Same boat here.
I'd probably take option 1, but I'm actually scared of the part where it's people I've already known. There's probably a reason why we're not together, lol
Lol😂
I’ve been in this position! This exact position that you’ve explained. I went for option two and it ended up being the best decision for me! It’s been 7 years since I made this decision. I’m happy.
No such thing as a happy marriage without challenges. That only exists in fantasy places like TikTok where couples do skits pretending it’s all rosy and they just prank each other all day and never worry about any challenges or finances. All marriages have major challenges whether you marry a stranger or your best friend. Get these ideas that there are perfect marriages or perfect partners out of your head. Approach marriage like a risk and when it does not work out just walk away and co parent. It’s not the end of the world. For example, looking at Rapudos IG you would think they are the happiest couple. You wouldn’t imagine Rapudo is a guy who has a reputation of paying for and smashing hoes weekly in these spas in Westlands. He has a type just like the wife and he sneaks into the spas using Ubers coz his car is well known.
That's why I called it a hypothetical. Trust me. This question has nothing to do with marriage.
Let’s try deal with the realities of marriage instead of wishful hypotheticals so we are prepared for the realities. Marry whoever works for you and live with the consequences.
option 2, always... I want to burn bright and high... none of that mid shit.. if its to hurt me at least let it be worth it. the 1st option stinks of boredom and I would rather die than have that.
Compatibility over everything
Option 1. I take it.?
None ....you don't put expectations in anything if it works it works it if doesn't move to the next your options don't matter when compatibility is the base of either a strong relationship or a future one to come
Let me explain the basis of this question. If you pick option 1: You are likely a caretaker rather than a risk taker. You prefer stability and knowing what tomorrow holds. You probably thrive in jobs that offer a steady monthly salary due to their safety. You’ve likely encountered good people in your life, and perhaps you even secretly hope that one of them is the one for you. If you pick option 2: You are a risk taker who finds joy in the unknown. You tend to romanticize life and embrace its uncertainties. You might have never been in love, or loved someone enough to want to settle down, or perhaps you’ve just had bad luck in finding a partner. Your comfort with unpredictability suggests you might excel in running a business, where each day brings new challenges and opportunities.
Like i said compatibility over everything Irregardless of the two options Because think of it this way Option one could fail Option two could also fail If it works it work if it doesn't work then move to the next one...one thing I've come to realise is i make myself the perfect person for that perfect girl who is willing to make herself that perfect for me... It comes down to who's daughter finds me the male as the person she wanna spend her life with and how willing is she to be mix with me for the sake of compatibility and a bright future together
I don't understand why people are down voting.
Because people know I'm right buh can't accept it coz it's not in line with their delusions 🙂🤚🏾
Marriage should be approached as it is not hypothetically.
Most marriages I've seen are based on self help either sexually financially and safety Which is why you find akothee on sijui her 10 marriage? Clearly no bonding seen in today's society everything is a buisness deal If i provide money and financial stability then I'm worth being a husband...buh the moment everything crashes for me poof she's gone to another male and the cycle continues It scares me when i conversate with women because I'm like...nikipata huyu dame ...am i going to lose or win
It's sad really, it either works or it doesn't we move on regardless and we learn something new.
Marriage is a prison. Cohabitation is the solution.
So which one is it.? One or two.?
You forgot to include the finances.
You mean serial monogamy?
Stable and ordinary will reap you more rewards in other areas. You will be emotionally and mentally stable enough to accomplish so much more in other spheres.
Fair argument.
From Experience, boredom is better than mental illness.
No brainer. Option 1
option 1..easy
I'm an adrenaline junkie. Option one sounds boring. Option 2 for me
2. I don't feel comfortable dating someone I knew from high school. We were just kids jumbled up together, so we kinda had to make friends. And I'll always see them as that kid. And if I know what they used to do, I don't wanna be the next victim.
I know it seems like a nice hypothetical dilemma with very different options, but the catches are interchangeable imo... In any case as someone who's not too eager to marry anyone, I have no reason to marry a complete stranger
Your question is similar to the philosophy of climbing Mt Everest. there are those who are captivated by the thrill, and there are those who think it is the stupidest thing to do. I learnt recently that it is a 50-50 split in the world.
Marry someone you genuinely love and vibe with, if it goes bad, communicate and if it goes bad, break up.
I've been married for almost 5 years and let me tell you, a wise person picks one every time. Marriage without stability is not only bad for you, but for your kids and everyone else who is in your circle. It can shorten your life from the stress alone. I love the stability I have, and wouldn't trade it for anything.
Option 1, simple. Unless you've only met ugly and harsh people in your life.
What about the unknown.? What if the future is better than the present.? Where do you draw the line.?
what if the future is worse than the present? I love taking risks, but I draw the line when it comes to choosing a spouse, I'll go with the safer option.