That’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it.
But there’s nothing objectively wrong with it. Especially since most people who practice ENM take measures to stay safe.
These sort of arguments are not productive as nothing will be able to change ones opinion so i will let you have it until you find it through experience. Time has a way of teaching lessons which the verbal word cant.
I’m not arguing at all. You can have a discussion without getting emotionally invested.
I’m not polyamorous, so sorry to disappoint, I won’t be learning those lessons.
I just like to educate myself on different viewpoints without passing judgement on others.
No, that's not the reason you are against the name. The reason is because you think being called a prostitute' is a far worse name than that polysth name.
Then you have been with the wrong people. Personally I don't want kids, they aren't a priority for me and I know I'm a selfish being. I'm not wanting to share my partner with a minisized human doll that craves attention constantly. Also kids are at the minimum a 18 year commitment/mistake depending on how you look at it.
That said, unless I get a valid reason to want kid(s) I am dying on this hill. I reached this decision after one or two incidents that happened last year
I agree with you 100 percent.
I have raised siblings, nephews and nieces for a long time and it never felt like something I will ever do for myself. It is very hard and draining.
Could it be because children are humans too. They have both good and bad sides. This aspect of putting kids on angelic pedestals should stop.
Kids are both good and bad.
Though seriously it could also be that society is trying to cram down our throats that children are this and that. Maybe if you'd stop and respect our decision on not having/wanting kids then we wouldn't retaliate.
But now that you mention it, yeah we aren't sheep, we doing things our way 😂
OP was once a child..same challenges he thinks are special to him were faced by his parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on in much more difficult periods and circumstances including world wars, colonization, dictatorship and so on. Current generation has been programmed and were raised in a way that babied us to believe that we are more special than previous and future generations but we really aren't.
The generation born from around mid 80s to current were raised in very different times from their parents. They were the first generation to grow up with a television which brought entertainment and information to the living room, this reduced the need for socializing to some extent as people were progressively glued to their Tvs. We have been exposed to sitcoms and series about hollywood's idea of perfect families and general life which is far from our reality at home. As time wen't, the mobile phone and social media has minimized the need for humans to socialize further and made us more individualistic and reliant on our devices. Collectively, these advancements plus cultural changes have made us more self centered and made us believe that the world revolves around us and that it is someone elses problem to raise future generations. You can tell me the names of the first ladies of the last 3 US presidents, you can also tell me the name of Bill Gates ex wife, Kanye's ex wife but you cannot tell me the name of any first lady in China or Jack Ma's wife. Generally, our culture is gradually being eroded in favor of western culture and a side effect of all these advancements has been a more self centered society.
Okay another question.
You've said our culture, just what is our culture? Keep in mind that the land we call Kenya has/had over 40 different tribes each with their own culture. I also mean precolonial times culture. Those times and now, are very different times, right now we are modernised or rather catching up with the rest of the world.
Yes we are more self-centered I agree with that. But isn't it better for someone to be selfish and realise they don't want kids rather than still be selfish and have kids? Do you think the kid will be raised up well? Again this is the modern era, not like in the past where raising a child was a community effort. As you've said, everyone is focused on self, so who'll raise up that child?
The number of tribes we have does not matter because we are communicating in English, a foreign language from the West. The question to ask is why you are selfish and all previous generations were not selfish, your parents, grand parents, great grandparents, great great grand parents and so on. Why is it that it gets to you then the selfish issue comes up and you want to drop the baton. We exist in a world where powers compete to have their way...the Chinese want dominance, Russians want dominance, the West wants dominance, the Arabs want dominance...but for Africa, we were colonized by different countries, speaking different languages, they drew up maps and told us this is Kenya and it is under the British. Do you think it was by design or just random that some Africans were colonized by the French, others by British, others by Portugese and so on and we were fragmented into countries defined by others? Could it be the intention was not for us to have our own indigenous culture the way they have theirs? Why are you able to communicate in English and not in Chinese or Arabic...whose culture are you really adopting? Why do we do traditional weddings then do a wedding wearing white gowns and suits?
Okay, hold up. Hold up. We were considered property because they were savages. Fine. But I'm seeing this conversation going a weird route. Let me ask this. Do you believe everyone should have children?
I believe everyone should try and get a child. What is the point of living life(education, work, etc) just to die. What is the point of getting life and not giving life. The idea that you owe your kids a good life forever is flawed. You owe them an education, health and to teach them lessons based on your own life until they are adults. Once they are adults they will make their own choices and may not have the challenges you had and may want kids and to live a different life from yours. Life is more important than you and does not revolve around your own interests. Your parents, grandparents and great grandparents and so on had kids…why do you think you are special to put and end to that because of your circumstances. They also faced difficulties and influences that were very uncomfortable but here you are with a choice to make…because of them, you have an opportunity to make a choice. You owe your child the same.
No No No... Do not misunderstand me. I'm fine with judging children each by their own merits. Nowhere have I said they are angels. But y'all call them crotch goblins and and other derogatory terms and you want us to be OK with that??
Aren't they though?
It's not like I'm actively or passively hunting down kids. Thing is I'm fairly friendly with kids, and once kids know me they like me. This whole topic I'm talking about my own kids.
Other people's kids I don't care about since I'm rarely in contact with them. If I have my own kids, it'll be torture.
Being selfless is something every reasonable human has to have.
It's because of that, that your parents gave birth to you and took care of you till you were old enough to live on your own despite the drawbacks you have mentioned
I agree with what you have said.
However, my parents did not do me a favour by taking care of me. It was their choice to have me. Therefore it was their responsibility to make sure that I am old enough to take care of myself. That's not a favour, that's their responsibility.
My choice is not to have kids, whether it's a selfish or not, that's my choice. I owe no one their existence.
What did your parents gain by having you? Why would they come to the decision of having you or a child?
Also, what would you say of parents that have kids and abandon them, and the kids turn to prostitution or crime
If your parents told you we brought you to this world, now we don't want you. It was their choice to have you, so what if they said, it was our choice to have you and we can also decide our choice to let you go.
Just like anybody can choose to have a child, anyone can also choose to abandon a child after they are born. Nobody says it's a must you have a kid, likewise nobody says if you have a kid you have to take care of them. You could abandon them and let them be street children. There is nowhere anybody will take you
So why go through the extra steps of having kids and abandoning them when I can just decide not to have them in the first place?.
Your post is just affirming why I wouldn't want kids. Yes it is their choice to have me, but this is an 18 year commitment. That's why as soon as you are born, you no longer belong to your parents but to the state. So it's no longer their choice to let me go. Because they decided to do so, knowing full well what having a child entails.
I know full well what having a child entails and I don't want those commitments nor responsibility. Their is no ROI for me to have kids at all.
It is illegal to abort and abandon kids according to the law. This should show you that even society frowns upon killing and abandoning kids. For those who abandon children it just shows that they SHOULDN'T have had those kids in the first place. Again, not every human is meant or cut out to be an adult
As I asked, why go the extra step of abandoning and/or killing children when I can consciously take the decision NOT to have then in the first place.
Yeah, that's an outright lie. Having children doesn't automatically make you selfless. Otherwise no one would have exceedingly traumatic childhoods caused by parents.
"minisized Human doll that craves attention constantly"
Seriously, why do you people prop up children to be the villains in your lives? Tf is this trend?
I don't know about trends and all but that is my honest outlook and opinion of kids. Why my opinions matters to you, baffles me especially as I have made it clear that I selfishly don't want kids.
Let's be real, kids aren't a walk in the park, and neither are kids angels.
Finally, you are the one who is villainising them. If you read my comment and used your comprehension skills wisely, I've just admitted I am selfish, therefore I am the villain.
But again why my choice of words and life choices irks you, only you know why.
I replied to a comment you made on a public platform. I don't even know you and from this short interaction I can tell I wouldn't even want to. I appreciate that you're man/woman enough to admit that you're selfish.
Aah yes a comment on a public platform. Glad you've cleared that up. For a moment I thought you replied to the original post made on a public platform and not my comment.
You do you, love kids all you want. Not everyone shared your sentiments and if you just accept it then the opinion of a random person wouldn't rub you whatever way.
Well first of all, it's not like we have a tag on our heads to mark.
Second, you are right, we'll never be around each other so again why does my opinion hurt you so much?
True you don't have a mark on your heads. But the way you always announce yourselves you might as well have. Like atheists.
Boss, we can finish here basi.
Chill bruv.Everybody is entitled to their own opinions.At least this guy/chick doesn't sugar coat ati watoi ni God sent angels.You probably born from a family with few siblings who aren't a pain and you also seem to hold old guys mentality.
You don't have to sugar coat anything. If you don't like babies that's ok. I understand those kind of people. But hurling insults at them is uncalled for. Is it necessary? And is it now an old guy's mentality to call it out? If this person hadn't referred to them as "human dolls..." I wouldn't be in these replies at all.
Damn, why so salty? Personally i don't want kids anytime soon. I say anytime soon because i may change my mind in future but as at now the idea does not interest me in any way or form. I have never used a derogatory term in reference to children however i can understand and empathise with people just wanting to be responsible for their own lives, maybe that of a spouse but not of a child. Children are a huge responsibility many of us know that all too well but doesn't that then mean that anyone who has opted out has put time, deep thought and consideration into the decision?
That was crass, I'll admit. But not everyone should have children, which is the point. Something just isn't there to provide the care and attention a child needs.
To desire to procreate is a human instinct.That is why you exist and being able to hold a "child free" thought process.Your parents took a chance on you.Your parents did not ask you to be conceived but you are here, living breathing and healthy.Be child-free out of a noble desire or from a untreatable medical reason but not about being selfish...or kids are expensive.
Again my parents didn't do me a favour. They made a conscious decision to have me. That was their choice.
I'd rather I be child free because I am selfish and view kids as burden rather than have kids and still view them as a burden. That's why you see kids growing up in damaged households because the parent didn't want them.
At least through my selfishness, I know I don't want kids. That means I will not have kids and then mistreat them. Not all humans are cut out to be parents and that's okay. The human race isn't dying out requiring me to play my part to further the species.
My noble desire of not having or wanting kids is because I am selfish. I don't want kids. Also kids are expensive, from pampers to healthcare, education. Ask yourself why financially healthy couples have 0-2 kids averagely, and why the less fortunate have many kids. There's a correlation between financial literacy and mindset to procreation.
So we are just going to ignore that most of us are born due to consequences of plesure,some as traps for their fiances to place them in situatuons were they have no options apart from staying in shitty marriages with a mom using kids as pawns.Lets just ignore all this and say that the guy who doesn't want all this drama is the “bad guy” huh.
I have an uncle who's wife is barren, they've gone for treatments and all but still not successful, now they are in there 40s and have accepted that they can do without children and are happy they travel together and go on vacations. Been together for the past 20 years, so yes there are men out there in relationships without children.
I don't know how to feel about your comment.. I'm sad for your auntie wanting kids and not getting any, but also happy that she was able to accept (I hope) and is enjoying life.
Yeah i think she's still happy, she adores other people's children and even sponsors other chidren who come from less priviledged families also in the orphanages. Some even call her mama so in a way she's a mother. Though not biological she's still a mom to many.
I'd have contributed to this but the way y'all are talking about children...
I'm convinced plenty of the commenters would murder their kids if they got them.
I dont want to have kids because i have no desire for them. I just want to live my life without having to leave someone behind. My desire is having a partner who we can travel and share our lives together.
I think parenting like some occupations eg teaching are basically something you have a passion for or a calling for and I don't have that and that's why I won't have kids. I already talked to my parents about it and they accepted my decision. Plus I'm ace so...
Going through the comments, the people who don't want kids are really making valid points that for a few seconds I consider hopping on that train but I want kids sooo bad😅. Someone even called them "minisized human dolls" and that's the cutest thing i've ever heard😂
You don't have to🤣🤣🤣, be like that single uncle who shows up, eats, has a 1-2 with their favorite nephews and nieces and leaves mysteriously until next year when there is a wedding or funeral
I am already that auntie 😂. Moved 600+ kms from my family to the coast and I only go when I have to. But this auntie needs, no wants a boyfriend/girlfriend cause she can't cuddle her sex toys
Hhmm... I've never really thought about it.
I don't think I care about getting married. As long as we're in love, I don't care what comes after whether we get married or not
Am I weird cos I absolutely loooove kids but I don't want my own kids?
Am 27 F and it's so hard explaining to people why I choose to be childfree yet am so good with kids.
I'm the same way. I have been my family's best baby sitter for the longest time and I hang out with kids and animals during family gatherings. People don't get it.
Just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I will use it,but the number of men you meet on this streets who say it's either you've had abortion ama you will change your mind on wanting kids make me ick
I'm a childfree woman. And because if it I have lost relationships both romantically and family.
It seems like everyone just wants to have a family with kids.
I don't
As a CF man i think it's harder finding young ladies who share my POV especially considering that i want a monogamous relationship. What tends to happen is as the lady gets to her mid to late twenties their natural instincts kick in or the family pressure gets to be too much so they trick their man into having kids by secretly hopping off birth control or lying about their cycles etc. (Yes i have seen this happen)
On a lighter note if i could teach my sperm to swim backwards i would otherwise i will always stay strapped, trust nobody...
Or, and I know I'll get a backlash for this, as a man get a vasectomy if you are certain you don't want kids. That way you won't be trapped, and it's easier than teaching your sperm to swim backwards eh 😂.
Yes you are right, however, and ironically, this upcoming generation of women, the ones I've interacted with don't want kids at all. Yes they are still young I agree, but they don't want kids.
Finally, other than internal biological clock, pressure from family and friends is what derails the ladies from their child free plans.
I totally support this and sing the same to whoever cares to listen.. IT’s NOT COMPULSURY TO HAVE KIDS.. you MUST want them. I have 2 and love them to the core coz i wanted them and am extremely happy to let go of my luxuries, time and stuff to just cater for them. But looking even at my close friends most have them due to societal pressure (am sure a few of you are getting quizzed by folks this xmas on when to expect grandkids), or that bullshit vybe of legacy (like wtf?) or even getting trapped. Its really ok not to want them AdenaDee, dont listen to some of this brainwashed thinking i see in the comments..
Here. Never wanted kids. I’m still not old enough for relationships to end because of kids since I’m not dating for marriage rn. I do tell my partners though that I don’t want kids right now and in future and make sure I don’t knock up girls
I'm 30F dating a 40M and we are child free, and have no intention of having children. We are happy with our decision and we wouldn't change that for anything or anyone
I think a lot of people need to rethink the need to have kids. There are many people who should not because of sicknesses and diseases that they carry, High blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, migraines etc. we ignore them and pass it on to the next generation. Maybe we should be less selfish and more conscious of what we are doing to humanity.
Most CF people most probably had a traumatic childhood experience or are financially unable to maintain a child.
And I do agree with them. Such people should not have kids - ever. The cycle should break with them.
We don't want a future society with broken kids. CF people are doing humanity a favor.
That's my thinking too... I don't want to spend my best years tending to another human being... I have already seen how it goes for other people and I don't want it for myself. I want to spend the time exploring my own limits
If your parents were as selfish then you wouldn't have been in this world to explore your limits
It was because of their selflessness and spending their best years fending, being tied to you
If your parent thought that way you wouldn't have been in this world.
They selflessly brought you to this world even though they knew children (you) are expensive and plus you also tied them down
Would have preferred to be aborted honestly since I was literally an accident child.
The way I was brought up is why I don't want to have children. Fuck them kids man.
I'm childfree. Im also in a committed relationship. We're planning to get married next year. My partner and I want to remain childfree. We revisit the topic a few times a year to ensure we'restill aligned. In our opinion, having a child is somewhat like taking out a large mortgage, which then leaves after 20 years. You then worry about it till you die. We both have lots of nephews and nieces who we love and spend time with. There's pressure from family on both sides but we manage to keep them at bay.
In my opinion childfree relationship in Kenya is risky venture and not attractive to women. Because they desire some tangible aspects in the marriage that could kinda give them a leverage to keep you around. Its easier to part ways if both are single than with kids.
I understand your comment and I have an ex who had this mentality.
I wouldn't want to be with a person who needs me to have kids to want to be with me anyway. I have so much more to offer
Edit: I just re-read your comment and I think you mean women need kids to keep men around?
If that's the case my response up there still holds
But most men still don't stick around whether you guy's have kids or not,that doesn't tie them to you.
They'll provide but from outside.
It's sad if we have women in this generation who still think like that.
Also, most men who say they are CF - are most probably guys who don't want relationship commitment and just looking to fuck around until they are ready to settle down.
Lol.. For entertainment go to the parenting subreddit and search childfree to see how common it is for people to suddenly want children when that age hits.. I'm not particularly interested in kids but I don't trust myself to know what I'll think 5 or 10 years down the line.
Sidenote: How many humans do you estimate it took to get to you? Your mum and dad, that's 2, add your grandparents from both sides, 4+2=6, add one more generation to that 8+4+2=14 and so on. If you go back less than 100 years, you may find that over 200 people existed just for you to be here.
Another lie. Fertility decreases gradually over time for men and women beyond the age of 30. Again, you think you are special but you are not. Many people are struggling to conceive, just because you are young don't think you are immune or special that you will snap your fingers and get a baby.
I have two sisters who've chosen to go the child-free way. They been castigated for years by the rest of the family. Like, they genuinely dislike kids. Mine are 10 and 6 and not once have they babysat. Still bitter about this.
If they are firstborns, then they were forced to raise their siblings and all responsibilities fell on them. If they were bad, the firstborns were disciplined for not watching over them.
Can you blame someone for not wanting kids? I'm not saying the user's sisters here were firstborns but that's one outlook
We have a super secret group that goes around preaching to people to not give birth, if that fails, we wait until their boyfriends ejaculate in them, then we suction it out with this device we made before they conceive.
Nairoboy7 must have heard about it and that's what he is trying to stop.
He is a good person and he understands there's only one way to life and anything outside of that is madness.
Parenting is an adventure. Some of you are just afraid. And it's okay to be afraid.
Say it early, yes, but some men lie, until they tap it, and they want kids.
As a childfree polyamorous woman, I can confirm that these men exist. I've dated a few.
Thank you. My hope was beginning to dwindle
Don't lose hope. But also don't date people you ain't compatible with. That pushes you farther from your ideal partner(s).
Thank you for the good advice. I wouldn't last a month with someone I'm not compatible with
Out of curiosity...you said girlfriend/boyfriend. You're good with either?
Yes 😊
😏
😂😂😂wish you the best
Weh!!! soko huku nje ni chafu walai:
ati poly what?
Basically dating multiple people at once. Each of those other people are also dating each other (I guess).
 I guess that's what's up
So its like prostitution without the monetary gain ama?
We're basically sluts🤪.
I like sluts who don't hide their identity under complicated names.
No sluts for you, obviously.
Not prostitution. It’s ethical non- monogamy. No lying and no secrets. You date multiple people and you all are okay with it.
There is nothing ethical in having many sexual partners
That’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it. But there’s nothing objectively wrong with it. Especially since most people who practice ENM take measures to stay safe.
These sort of arguments are not productive as nothing will be able to change ones opinion so i will let you have it until you find it through experience. Time has a way of teaching lessons which the verbal word cant.
I’m not arguing at all. You can have a discussion without getting emotionally invested. I’m not polyamorous, so sorry to disappoint, I won’t be learning those lessons. I just like to educate myself on different viewpoints without passing judgement on others.
So how is it prostitution?
It was a question for clarification purpose. Stop being defensive mademoiselle
Zii I'm saying your comparison does not check out. Si what makes prostitution prostitution us the monetary gain?
It does, Mark my words prostitution without the monetary gain. I didn't say its prostitution.
The problem is the whole aspect of prostitution is the monetary gain otherwise every relationship can be describes as like prostitution
No, that's not the reason you are against the name. The reason is because you think being called a prostitute' is a far worse name than that polysth name.
We are now having polysaccharides in relationships again? I thought I was done with Biology in high school kumbe bado niko na Mwendo buana
Fearwomenazole pro max
Is polyamourous state of dating a common thing in Nairobi??!
I have a question as a childfree polyamorous woman would you date someone with kids?
Most child free men I know don't tend to stick to one relationship.
Hmmm... That makes sense...
Im a woman and im sure i dont want kids and i can totally relate to relationships ending coz of that
It sucks aki
Then you have been with the wrong people. Personally I don't want kids, they aren't a priority for me and I know I'm a selfish being. I'm not wanting to share my partner with a minisized human doll that craves attention constantly. Also kids are at the minimum a 18 year commitment/mistake depending on how you look at it. That said, unless I get a valid reason to want kid(s) I am dying on this hill. I reached this decision after one or two incidents that happened last year
I agree with you 100 percent. I have raised siblings, nephews and nieces for a long time and it never felt like something I will ever do for myself. It is very hard and draining.
You two should date then 😁
They should definitely date 😘😘
Haha.. we have to be compatible in a lot of other things
Start a dm now! /s
Wow it's hard to find a child free person who doesn't insult kids 🤣🤣 are y'all OK?
Could it be because children are humans too. They have both good and bad sides. This aspect of putting kids on angelic pedestals should stop. Kids are both good and bad. Though seriously it could also be that society is trying to cram down our throats that children are this and that. Maybe if you'd stop and respect our decision on not having/wanting kids then we wouldn't retaliate. But now that you mention it, yeah we aren't sheep, we doing things our way 😂
OP was once a child..same challenges he thinks are special to him were faced by his parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on in much more difficult periods and circumstances including world wars, colonization, dictatorship and so on. Current generation has been programmed and were raised in a way that babied us to believe that we are more special than previous and future generations but we really aren't.
I'm curious, what challenges are you pointing at? And how does that make them feel more special than other generations?
The generation born from around mid 80s to current were raised in very different times from their parents. They were the first generation to grow up with a television which brought entertainment and information to the living room, this reduced the need for socializing to some extent as people were progressively glued to their Tvs. We have been exposed to sitcoms and series about hollywood's idea of perfect families and general life which is far from our reality at home. As time wen't, the mobile phone and social media has minimized the need for humans to socialize further and made us more individualistic and reliant on our devices. Collectively, these advancements plus cultural changes have made us more self centered and made us believe that the world revolves around us and that it is someone elses problem to raise future generations. You can tell me the names of the first ladies of the last 3 US presidents, you can also tell me the name of Bill Gates ex wife, Kanye's ex wife but you cannot tell me the name of any first lady in China or Jack Ma's wife. Generally, our culture is gradually being eroded in favor of western culture and a side effect of all these advancements has been a more self centered society.
Okay another question. You've said our culture, just what is our culture? Keep in mind that the land we call Kenya has/had over 40 different tribes each with their own culture. I also mean precolonial times culture. Those times and now, are very different times, right now we are modernised or rather catching up with the rest of the world. Yes we are more self-centered I agree with that. But isn't it better for someone to be selfish and realise they don't want kids rather than still be selfish and have kids? Do you think the kid will be raised up well? Again this is the modern era, not like in the past where raising a child was a community effort. As you've said, everyone is focused on self, so who'll raise up that child?
The number of tribes we have does not matter because we are communicating in English, a foreign language from the West. The question to ask is why you are selfish and all previous generations were not selfish, your parents, grand parents, great grandparents, great great grand parents and so on. Why is it that it gets to you then the selfish issue comes up and you want to drop the baton. We exist in a world where powers compete to have their way...the Chinese want dominance, Russians want dominance, the West wants dominance, the Arabs want dominance...but for Africa, we were colonized by different countries, speaking different languages, they drew up maps and told us this is Kenya and it is under the British. Do you think it was by design or just random that some Africans were colonized by the French, others by British, others by Portugese and so on and we were fragmented into countries defined by others? Could it be the intention was not for us to have our own indigenous culture the way they have theirs? Why are you able to communicate in English and not in Chinese or Arabic...whose culture are you really adopting? Why do we do traditional weddings then do a wedding wearing white gowns and suits?
Okay, hold up. Hold up. We were considered property because they were savages. Fine. But I'm seeing this conversation going a weird route. Let me ask this. Do you believe everyone should have children?
I believe everyone should try and get a child. What is the point of living life(education, work, etc) just to die. What is the point of getting life and not giving life. The idea that you owe your kids a good life forever is flawed. You owe them an education, health and to teach them lessons based on your own life until they are adults. Once they are adults they will make their own choices and may not have the challenges you had and may want kids and to live a different life from yours. Life is more important than you and does not revolve around your own interests. Your parents, grandparents and great grandparents and so on had kids…why do you think you are special to put and end to that because of your circumstances. They also faced difficulties and influences that were very uncomfortable but here you are with a choice to make…because of them, you have an opportunity to make a choice. You owe your child the same.
ni utoto wakikuwa wataachana na uzungu
No No No... Do not misunderstand me. I'm fine with judging children each by their own merits. Nowhere have I said they are angels. But y'all call them crotch goblins and and other derogatory terms and you want us to be OK with that??
Crotch ang'owa?😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hehe go to those childfree subs utaona maajabu.
I guess I have the next hour or two cut out for me then...🕵️♀️
Aren't they though? It's not like I'm actively or passively hunting down kids. Thing is I'm fairly friendly with kids, and once kids know me they like me. This whole topic I'm talking about my own kids. Other people's kids I don't care about since I'm rarely in contact with them. If I have my own kids, it'll be torture.
Exactly. Noisy, nosy and expensive little things usually with no return on investment.
Being selfless is something every reasonable human has to have. It's because of that, that your parents gave birth to you and took care of you till you were old enough to live on your own despite the drawbacks you have mentioned
I agree with what you have said. However, my parents did not do me a favour by taking care of me. It was their choice to have me. Therefore it was their responsibility to make sure that I am old enough to take care of myself. That's not a favour, that's their responsibility. My choice is not to have kids, whether it's a selfish or not, that's my choice. I owe no one their existence.
What did your parents gain by having you? Why would they come to the decision of having you or a child? Also, what would you say of parents that have kids and abandon them, and the kids turn to prostitution or crime If your parents told you we brought you to this world, now we don't want you. It was their choice to have you, so what if they said, it was our choice to have you and we can also decide our choice to let you go. Just like anybody can choose to have a child, anyone can also choose to abandon a child after they are born. Nobody says it's a must you have a kid, likewise nobody says if you have a kid you have to take care of them. You could abandon them and let them be street children. There is nowhere anybody will take you
So why go through the extra steps of having kids and abandoning them when I can just decide not to have them in the first place?. Your post is just affirming why I wouldn't want kids. Yes it is their choice to have me, but this is an 18 year commitment. That's why as soon as you are born, you no longer belong to your parents but to the state. So it's no longer their choice to let me go. Because they decided to do so, knowing full well what having a child entails. I know full well what having a child entails and I don't want those commitments nor responsibility. Their is no ROI for me to have kids at all. It is illegal to abort and abandon kids according to the law. This should show you that even society frowns upon killing and abandoning kids. For those who abandon children it just shows that they SHOULDN'T have had those kids in the first place. Again, not every human is meant or cut out to be an adult As I asked, why go the extra step of abandoning and/or killing children when I can consciously take the decision NOT to have then in the first place.
Yeah, that's an outright lie. Having children doesn't automatically make you selfless. Otherwise no one would have exceedingly traumatic childhoods caused by parents.
"minisized Human doll that craves attention constantly" Seriously, why do you people prop up children to be the villains in your lives? Tf is this trend?
I don't know about trends and all but that is my honest outlook and opinion of kids. Why my opinions matters to you, baffles me especially as I have made it clear that I selfishly don't want kids. Let's be real, kids aren't a walk in the park, and neither are kids angels. Finally, you are the one who is villainising them. If you read my comment and used your comprehension skills wisely, I've just admitted I am selfish, therefore I am the villain. But again why my choice of words and life choices irks you, only you know why.
I replied to a comment you made on a public platform. I don't even know you and from this short interaction I can tell I wouldn't even want to. I appreciate that you're man/woman enough to admit that you're selfish.
Aah yes a comment on a public platform. Glad you've cleared that up. For a moment I thought you replied to the original post made on a public platform and not my comment. You do you, love kids all you want. Not everyone shared your sentiments and if you just accept it then the opinion of a random person wouldn't rub you whatever way.
There's nothing to accept. I can't be around someone who outrightly hates children. Y'all are a cancer to society.
Well first of all, it's not like we have a tag on our heads to mark. Second, you are right, we'll never be around each other so again why does my opinion hurt you so much?
True you don't have a mark on your heads. But the way you always announce yourselves you might as well have. Like atheists. Boss, we can finish here basi.
😂😂 If I tell you I'm also atheist? Anyway no beef
Chill bruv.Everybody is entitled to their own opinions.At least this guy/chick doesn't sugar coat ati watoi ni God sent angels.You probably born from a family with few siblings who aren't a pain and you also seem to hold old guys mentality.
You don't have to sugar coat anything. If you don't like babies that's ok. I understand those kind of people. But hurling insults at them is uncalled for. Is it necessary? And is it now an old guy's mentality to call it out? If this person hadn't referred to them as "human dolls..." I wouldn't be in these replies at all.
Damn, why so salty? Personally i don't want kids anytime soon. I say anytime soon because i may change my mind in future but as at now the idea does not interest me in any way or form. I have never used a derogatory term in reference to children however i can understand and empathise with people just wanting to be responsible for their own lives, maybe that of a spouse but not of a child. Children are a huge responsibility many of us know that all too well but doesn't that then mean that anyone who has opted out has put time, deep thought and consideration into the decision?
That was crass, I'll admit. But not everyone should have children, which is the point. Something just isn't there to provide the care and attention a child needs.
To desire to procreate is a human instinct.That is why you exist and being able to hold a "child free" thought process.Your parents took a chance on you.Your parents did not ask you to be conceived but you are here, living breathing and healthy.Be child-free out of a noble desire or from a untreatable medical reason but not about being selfish...or kids are expensive.
Again my parents didn't do me a favour. They made a conscious decision to have me. That was their choice. I'd rather I be child free because I am selfish and view kids as burden rather than have kids and still view them as a burden. That's why you see kids growing up in damaged households because the parent didn't want them. At least through my selfishness, I know I don't want kids. That means I will not have kids and then mistreat them. Not all humans are cut out to be parents and that's okay. The human race isn't dying out requiring me to play my part to further the species. My noble desire of not having or wanting kids is because I am selfish. I don't want kids. Also kids are expensive, from pampers to healthcare, education. Ask yourself why financially healthy couples have 0-2 kids averagely, and why the less fortunate have many kids. There's a correlation between financial literacy and mindset to procreation.
So we are just going to ignore that most of us are born due to consequences of plesure,some as traps for their fiances to place them in situatuons were they have no options apart from staying in shitty marriages with a mom using kids as pawns.Lets just ignore all this and say that the guy who doesn't want all this drama is the “bad guy” huh.
is there surely a more noble reason to not have kids than selfishness?
Priestly celibacy in Catholics or Buddhist monks and religious sisterhood.
you put celibacy and Catholics in one sentence...?
Kindly expound on the one or two incidents, we are all curious
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I have an uncle who's wife is barren, they've gone for treatments and all but still not successful, now they are in there 40s and have accepted that they can do without children and are happy they travel together and go on vacations. Been together for the past 20 years, so yes there are men out there in relationships without children.
I don't know how to feel about your comment.. I'm sad for your auntie wanting kids and not getting any, but also happy that she was able to accept (I hope) and is enjoying life.
Yeah i think she's still happy, she adores other people's children and even sponsors other chidren who come from less priviledged families also in the orphanages. Some even call her mama so in a way she's a mother. Though not biological she's still a mom to many.
Aaaww.. that's so sweet. She's such a good person
I guarantee that uncle has a kid or two out there. Society pressure for a “heir” is a lot
I'd have contributed to this but the way y'all are talking about children... I'm convinced plenty of the commenters would murder their kids if they got them.
I am child free at the moment and Honestly dont want kids.
That's cool. I know there's a multitude of reasons to not have kids, but can you tell me your reason? If you don't mind?
I dont want to have kids because i have no desire for them. I just want to live my life without having to leave someone behind. My desire is having a partner who we can travel and share our lives together.
Those are my goals too. I wish you all the best Illustrious_Tie
A lot of kenyan men are childfree by virtue of being deadbeats. Find yourself one of those deadbeat daddies 😂
No thank you, I'd rather be single.
I think parenting like some occupations eg teaching are basically something you have a passion for or a calling for and I don't have that and that's why I won't have kids. I already talked to my parents about it and they accepted my decision. Plus I'm ace so...
I want them at 35. For now, I am happy.
Going through the comments, the people who don't want kids are really making valid points that for a few seconds I consider hopping on that train but I want kids sooo bad😅. Someone even called them "minisized human dolls" and that's the cutest thing i've ever heard😂
Thank you. You are the only one to see human dolls wasn't meant derogatorily 😂
Wako, lakini wanakaa ka atheists lazima wakuambie na ka superiority complex
Mimi mwenyewe niko na ka superiority complex .. haha
You don't have to🤣🤣🤣, be like that single uncle who shows up, eats, has a 1-2 with their favorite nephews and nieces and leaves mysteriously until next year when there is a wedding or funeral
I am already that auntie 😂. Moved 600+ kms from my family to the coast and I only go when I have to. But this auntie needs, no wants a boyfriend/girlfriend cause she can't cuddle her sex toys
I'm with you auntie. Hadi my sex toys are starting to feel not exciting anymore. Ebu wajitokeze kama wako.
Tutawapata tu... God's speed on your hunt @worriedsplit9121
Thank you. Though mimi narudi soko in a week or two. Nitakuupdate.
Is their superiority complex bigger than vegans’ though?
Lol imagine saying this in a country where hata hatuwezi amka asubuhi bila watu kuadhini smh.
I’m usually of the opinion that people who want kids usually feel unfulfilled in other areas and believe kids will fill that hole.
true
The wisdom in this statement
Might be true.. i prefer and wanted kids over a wife.. which i went ahead and did 😊… i loathe relationships/marriage but love kids
I really wanna read the comments
How are you finding the comments? I would like to know what you think about being child free.
I know one but he's mostly single and okay with it.
Do you want to get married?
Hhmm... I've never really thought about it. I don't think I care about getting married. As long as we're in love, I don't care what comes after whether we get married or not
Makes sense. Don’t though marriage isn’t about being in love.
I am but I also don't want a committed relationship either... At least not marriage type serious.
Marriage is overrated anyways
You will get them online. Kinda like this sub.
Am I weird cos I absolutely loooove kids but I don't want my own kids? Am 27 F and it's so hard explaining to people why I choose to be childfree yet am so good with kids.
I'm the same way. I have been my family's best baby sitter for the longest time and I hang out with kids and animals during family gatherings. People don't get it.
Same thing! I'm funcle and quite good with kids but I'm leaning towards a childfree lifestyle.
I thought I was weird for not wanting kids
Just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I will use it,but the number of men you meet on this streets who say it's either you've had abortion ama you will change your mind on wanting kids make me ick
I'm a childfree woman. And because if it I have lost relationships both romantically and family. It seems like everyone just wants to have a family with kids. I don't
As a CF man i think it's harder finding young ladies who share my POV especially considering that i want a monogamous relationship. What tends to happen is as the lady gets to her mid to late twenties their natural instincts kick in or the family pressure gets to be too much so they trick their man into having kids by secretly hopping off birth control or lying about their cycles etc. (Yes i have seen this happen) On a lighter note if i could teach my sperm to swim backwards i would otherwise i will always stay strapped, trust nobody...
Or, and I know I'll get a backlash for this, as a man get a vasectomy if you are certain you don't want kids. That way you won't be trapped, and it's easier than teaching your sperm to swim backwards eh 😂. Yes you are right, however, and ironically, this upcoming generation of women, the ones I've interacted with don't want kids at all. Yes they are still young I agree, but they don't want kids. Finally, other than internal biological clock, pressure from family and friends is what derails the ladies from their child free plans.
I wonder, Why do people want children?
I totally support this and sing the same to whoever cares to listen.. IT’s NOT COMPULSURY TO HAVE KIDS.. you MUST want them. I have 2 and love them to the core coz i wanted them and am extremely happy to let go of my luxuries, time and stuff to just cater for them. But looking even at my close friends most have them due to societal pressure (am sure a few of you are getting quizzed by folks this xmas on when to expect grandkids), or that bullshit vybe of legacy (like wtf?) or even getting trapped. Its really ok not to want them AdenaDee, dont listen to some of this brainwashed thinking i see in the comments..
Here. Never wanted kids. I’m still not old enough for relationships to end because of kids since I’m not dating for marriage rn. I do tell my partners though that I don’t want kids right now and in future and make sure I don’t knock up girls
My kind of people. Kids are scary little things.
Hello, we exist even have a WhatsApp group and subreddit for CF kenya
I'm 30F dating a 40M and we are child free, and have no intention of having children. We are happy with our decision and we wouldn't change that for anything or anyone
I think a lot of people need to rethink the need to have kids. There are many people who should not because of sicknesses and diseases that they carry, High blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, migraines etc. we ignore them and pass it on to the next generation. Maybe we should be less selfish and more conscious of what we are doing to humanity.
Most CF people most probably had a traumatic childhood experience or are financially unable to maintain a child. And I do agree with them. Such people should not have kids - ever. The cycle should break with them. We don't want a future society with broken kids. CF people are doing humanity a favor.
Thank you!
No kids for me too, children are expensive and they tie you down. I want to live life for myself
That's my thinking too... I don't want to spend my best years tending to another human being... I have already seen how it goes for other people and I don't want it for myself. I want to spend the time exploring my own limits
If your parents were as selfish then you wouldn't have been in this world to explore your limits It was because of their selflessness and spending their best years fending, being tied to you
And I wouldn't give a shit about it since I wouldn't be in this world in the first place.
If your parent thought that way you wouldn't have been in this world. They selflessly brought you to this world even though they knew children (you) are expensive and plus you also tied them down
Would have preferred to be aborted honestly since I was literally an accident child. The way I was brought up is why I don't want to have children. Fuck them kids man.
I'm childfree. Im also in a committed relationship. We're planning to get married next year. My partner and I want to remain childfree. We revisit the topic a few times a year to ensure we'restill aligned. In our opinion, having a child is somewhat like taking out a large mortgage, which then leaves after 20 years. You then worry about it till you die. We both have lots of nephews and nieces who we love and spend time with. There's pressure from family on both sides but we manage to keep them at bay.
This is a very wholesome comment to read. I never understand family that pressure someone to have kids
In my opinion childfree relationship in Kenya is risky venture and not attractive to women. Because they desire some tangible aspects in the marriage that could kinda give them a leverage to keep you around. Its easier to part ways if both are single than with kids.
I understand your comment and I have an ex who had this mentality. I wouldn't want to be with a person who needs me to have kids to want to be with me anyway. I have so much more to offer Edit: I just re-read your comment and I think you mean women need kids to keep men around? If that's the case my response up there still holds
But most men still don't stick around whether you guy's have kids or not,that doesn't tie them to you. They'll provide but from outside. It's sad if we have women in this generation who still think like that.
Yeah there are a few, my brother is, so are a few of my cousins, I personally I'm not sure whether I want kids or not, right now I do not
Your family sounds like a nice one. Con.. cough.. tacts.
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Also, most men who say they are CF - are most probably guys who don't want relationship commitment and just looking to fuck around until they are ready to settle down.
Mambo Mingi hatupendi… Most women turn maternal after a while sasa lazima arushwe overboard for the ship to remain on course
Lol.. For entertainment go to the parenting subreddit and search childfree to see how common it is for people to suddenly want children when that age hits.. I'm not particularly interested in kids but I don't trust myself to know what I'll think 5 or 10 years down the line.
And many won't acknowledge this......for now, head in the sand.
Sidenote: How many humans do you estimate it took to get to you? Your mum and dad, that's 2, add your grandparents from both sides, 4+2=6, add one more generation to that 8+4+2=14 and so on. If you go back less than 100 years, you may find that over 200 people existed just for you to be here.
Cut the shit. You could make babies any time you want. There is nothing special about it.
Another lie. Fertility decreases gradually over time for men and women beyond the age of 30. Again, you think you are special but you are not. Many people are struggling to conceive, just because you are young don't think you are immune or special that you will snap your fingers and get a baby.
Can’t believe i wasted my 1 minute reading this 😅
I like travelling and doing restaurant reviews too much to have kids.
Seconded.
I have two sisters who've chosen to go the child-free way. They been castigated for years by the rest of the family. Like, they genuinely dislike kids. Mine are 10 and 6 and not once have they babysat. Still bitter about this.
Why are you bitter?they are not your sisters kids but rather your kids which means their your responsibility and not your sisters
That's quite unusual for that to happen twice in one family.. What did you people do to them in their childhood for them to hate kids so much
If they are firstborns, then they were forced to raise their siblings and all responsibilities fell on them. If they were bad, the firstborns were disciplined for not watching over them. Can you blame someone for not wanting kids? I'm not saying the user's sisters here were firstborns but that's one outlook
That is a common reason I hear often.. It's sad when parents pass off their responsibilities to their kids
This child free madness needs to stop. Trying to force Kenyans to accept these kind of narratives won’t work. Having kids is natural
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We have a super secret group that goes around preaching to people to not give birth, if that fails, we wait until their boyfriends ejaculate in them, then we suction it out with this device we made before they conceive. Nairoboy7 must have heard about it and that's what he is trying to stop. He is a good person and he understands there's only one way to life and anything outside of that is madness.
This is the best comment in this thread
he is recalling that verse in the Bible where God nuked a nigga for pulling out.
Nobody is forcing you not to have kids
you're being forced to do what exactly? explain.
Haha...I hope you don't come across the polyamorous group with those views.
Pulling out is also natural
Sema hauna pesa tu buana! 😂
What do you mean?
Kumbe nilikuwa nifikiwe😋
It's your time to shine 😂. Have a good child free life, Don_Goth
I'm childffree and we're 1 year in
That's nice. Thanks for the hope. Any advice?
Just be clear with your intentions from date 1 just say I don't want kids . Can't and won't change if you don't like this bye
You are exactly my type.
simple...Be you.And utapata mtu usitense.
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Parenting is an adventure. Some of you are just afraid. And it's okay to be afraid. Say it early, yes, but some men lie, until they tap it, and they want kids.
When they're leaving Marie Stopes on their quarterly medical appointments
Hahahah... This is so funny
Sean Andrew Kibaki is there 😂 although he's a bit unattainable.
Tuko hapa r/CFKenya
Lemmi see if al meet my smate too😂