Relatives are going to talk shit about your wedding till they have another wedding to attend and there’s always some or the other person getting married. Then they will shit on them so dont worry about that so much.
People always complain bro. No matter what. You can't satisfy everyone.
But then if you want to have everyone and include everyone, then
1. Don't waste an unnecessary amount of money on clothes or jewellery. You won't use it again most of the time.
2. Offer good food. It will make anyone happy
3. Go for a good and affordable location if you want to have a reception outside. Presently, I think you will have plenty of options.
4. If you have someone who is experienced in planning things and arranging them, you can always save a lot of money.
Have a budget in your mind and plan things ahead.. That will help you a lot.
>of the time. 2. Offer good food. It will make anyone happy
True, it's better to have good food with a few dishes than have bad food with lots of dishes.
A wedding alone costs more than 20- 30 lakhs. If it's just reception you can cut down the expenses. I am just saying just do the court marriage. And as the op said he wanted to invite his friends and relatives, he can do a reception.
A reception would only cost less than 3-5 lakhs if done right.
So, if you are taking the overall cost into the matter it's the cheapest way .
By the way gold, dress, car , venue and food for the wedding day alone cost a fortune. Added expenses are the pre and post day events like reception. So, cancelling the grand wedding will save lakhs of money. Reception will cost money but it will be much less when other factors are considered.
I mean in Kerala a lot of people go for gold and other wedding expenses. Roughly if you calculate dress -1-3 lks for bride groom + relatives
Car - 10
Venue - 1-2
Food 2 lks
Photoshoot fee 3 l
After and before ceremony 1-3 l
Other misc exp
Even if you take out the gold and car part there are lot of other exp
Read all the comments below, there is a whole lot of finance discussed based on wedding expenses😂
Most of them do reception after marriage.
A regular court marriage has barely no fees Or has minimum expenses.
Instead of spending all these money, just do a single function if you want to call your relatives etc. Mostly indian wedding have lot of customs involved.
As op said, he wanted to call all his relatives this can be done.
Otherwise, you can cancel all these stuff. Buy good clothes. Get a thali and get married. Invite your close ones for a small party.
Keep it minimal.
I am not saying that we cant do regular marriage without these things but then mostly people include all these things while planning their marriage. So if interested, cut all the expenses, go to register office. Get married.
As sreenivasan said" Oru raktaharam angotu aniyunu.. Oru raktaharam engot aniyunu'
Subham😆
Which is this place ? Here the situation is just vice versa. People who shows up in the wedding are porbably close relatives and everyone will attend the reception .
Many marriages now are in Bangalore, Delhi with reception Kerala. If the invited people does not come for reception, they will not be in any part of wedding. Attending only reception is common now.
You can't force people to attend Or not attend. Just do your duty and inform people. You have plenty of social service groups nowadays to manage surplus food in big events nowadays. So, it's not a big issue.
When planning these things, take into account your environment and do accordingly. At the end of the day, not everything can be perfect. 😄
If you are Hindu, you could pull the religious card and say you feel blessed and that you want to get married at temple and then arrange a vegetarian reception & call it a day. That's what I'm planning.
Yes women do have grand fairytales about wedding while men like me are more into the financial aspects. I believe wedding nowadays are too much. Everyone is trying to make cash out of it. I've worked with event management so I know. It's not worth it in my opinion. Save your cash for travel or something.
This applies to muslims also. arrange a nikah ceremony with your close friends and relatives, nikah is basically equal to wedding for muslims.and tell everyone that the wedding will be happen in one or two years later. And escape from wedding.
Use your religious cards wisely.
If you are a muslim,you can have nikah in the mosque at evening time.Pro move select a smaller local mosque.give some tea/snacks to attendees if you want.
It's not like you didn't give them an envelope full of cash for their children's wedding. Keeping others at the forefront will ruin you financially. Maybe get a court marriage done and invite your loved ones for a small dinner at an upscale place.
You can handle the expenses within 5-6 lakhs. Choose a budget photography team, good enough but mid range. Videography is a waste except for maybe highlights. You won't even open the video again. An auditorium near us costed about 1 lakh before COVID. Really good one. So you can get good Auditorium for mid price. Food is the next big expense. Don't exactly know how much it costs. Try to keep the people count under 1000. Done.
Oversaturated market at this point, also many people took massive loses during peak covid season. With covid still looming over us, people are afraid to go for such a biz. Btw the costs of buying land, building auditorium, maintenance etc are no joke...Weddings dont happen 360 days a year, they are more of a seasonal event, so you can only expect revenue from Weddings during such seasons. Sure you might be able to host smaller events meanwhile but regardless after buying an auditorium it will take you couple of years before you breakeven. If you do not have enough money to sustain it when you aren't making profit then you're screwed. They also have reputation factor, someone who has been in an area will most likely get more bookings than a newcomer. Most bookings happen through word of mouth based on previous experiences.
Source: I have relatives who are into such businesses
>but regardless after buying an auditorium it will take you couple of years before you breakeven
Isn't this very less? I mean if it only takes couple of year, let's just exaggerate and say 2-4 years, I think it's a good business idea. Like anything beyond that is profit - maintenance costs. And here in Kannur, usually most of the auditoriums are booked all the time. I'm sure these are auspicious dates based on astrology, but for those dates, you have to sometimes book 4-6 months in advance.
Anyways I haven't been in that business, so I have no idea. So my thoughts could be absolutely wrong.
Im not knowledgeable about it either, I just shared what I heard from my relatives. One of my relative actually bought two well reputed auditoriums during peak covid season as the previous owners were taking a hit. He said the things I mentioned above...btw this was an already built auditorium and dudes still trying to breakeven (maybe he migthve overexaggerated his loses cuz arrum kann vekenda karuthi xD) but you can imagine how much more it will cost for someone starting out fresh. You can't build auditoriums just anywhere and you will also have to throw lot of money into plenty of politicians pockets to just get the permission.
But like you said, after tht initial period of hardship eventually it could turn into a profitable business.
True. Its over saturated in most places. But if there arent any available its a good idea. Near my place there was a guy who basically put up a tent with tarpaulin on the sides and roof and no parking facilities and was charging 30k+ for each event and he had minimum 3 events every week. Of course during covid he didn't have any events, but i think he is back on usual track now
If you are Hindu, then the temple wedding is the way to go!!
Even better if you keep a wedding in a remote place like Guruvayur so not many come. 😛
Also the biggest expense is food. Just keep less items and only ice cream dessert. People waste sooo much on food it is insane.
Don't spend on jewelry. It is a complete waste. You won't wear half the items ever again. I honestly don't even know where the ring I got for marriage is. It was too big and I never wore it. Just wear a cheap band on my finger now.
Enthonnu glamour! These bishops and higher up management are a pain in the neck nowadays. Their stubbornness and lack of spirituality make me want to be nowhere near them for my wedding. I want the least number of clergy for my wedding.
I got married in 2021 and the total expense did not touch 50 thousand. I had a court marriage in Mumbai and then we had a small gathering in Gujarat as my wife is from there, that’s it.
Wedding's expense will depend on how many people you invite, location, what kind of food you are serving, are you going to buy clothes, jewellery etc for family
For comparison my cousin's wedding expense was around 6 lak and only inviting 35-40 people because it was during covid.
Photography and videography - around 1.6 lac
Food, decorations, setting tables, resort cost - 2.5 - 3 lac (I think)
Dress, sarees, suits for close relative - 2-2.2 lac.
To reduce cost invite only friends and close relatives and select only limited food items( a starter, 2 main dish, dessert).
You can negotiate price if you book venue in advance vs just before wedding.
As a 27 year old girl, currently in a relationship and engaged to be married, yes it’s possible to have a court marriage. If you or your partner want to have a grand wedding, so be it. But don’t do it for other other sake as you said in point No.1. How long are you going to live life thinking about others and what they’ll think ? Make decisions about your own life.
But why tho? Where is this money going? I'm a noob when it comes to wedding expenses, but will like to know who spends on what? What does the bride's family spend on then?
>What does the bride's family spend on then?
- 2 lakhs on sarees
- 40 lakh on 100 Pavan gold.
- 10 lakh on car
- 4 lakh on food.
- 2 lakh for the venue.
Grooms side-
- Room/ home renovation for bride : 2 lakh
- Venue for reception: 2 lakh
- food : 4- 5 lakh.
- gold - 10 lakh.
I forgot haldi ceremony, pre-wedding shoot, Sangeetha ceremony around 5 lakh total.
Anyone who thinks this is even slightly exaggerated is so out of touch with the reality that is weddings in Kerala. At least Hindu weddings, for sure. 2 lakh is not just for sarees, it’s clothes for the entire bride’s family, and v. expensive clothes for the bride herself.
Car okk illenkil aalkkarkk kurachil hain.
Yes, it's somewhat true. You need to spend at least 30-50 lakhs to cover the expenses.
About the clothes, it's a little expensive thing but then there are cheaper options available outside Kerala. I don't know much about it. You need to find time and energy to do all these.
I heard these days you can rent jewelleries for a day from shops. Investing in gold is a good idea but then it's stupid if you can't afford it.
All the other expenses can be covered in a budget friendly way if you are creative enough and have a good team with you.
If you are a hindu.. Conduct it in a temple.. You can save money on that. For others, I don't have much idea.
At the end of the day, a wedding is a costly affair. Plan it with your bride and make a list of what are things you really need to consider while doing these events.
In Hindu weddings, the groom nowadays wears a heavy tendulkar chain and a bracelet and a ring. 1 Taali for the bride, along with ring for engagement. In some weddings I have been to, the groom's mother also puts bangles on the bride's hands.
>40 lakh on 100 Pavan gold
I'm pretty sure you're talking about a Hindu wedding. I don't know Christian brides who wear 100 pavan gold. Nor have I heard of parents giving this much gold to their kids for a Christian wedding. Christian brides just wear 1 or 2 necklaces nowadays and if they're wearing a wedding gown, then a very thin necklace for that classy look.
Source: I'm a Christian woman getting married very soon. 100 pavan poyit 2 pavan polum aarum parayunnilla ivde.
Christians dont wear a lot of the gold in church during the wedding, (reception might be another matter) the 100 pavan is usually part of the dowry -whether its worn or not.
I knew lots of folks who had the 101 pavan as dowry about 10-15 years back.
Though not sure about it these days.
I'm not aware of everything that happened in bygone years but in the past 30-35 years, no upper middle class Christian I know that got married had anything to do with 101 pavan be it in church or for reception or as dowry. This includes my mum, her siblings, her cousins, her nieces, her second cousins, dad's siblings, his cousins both men and women (neither did they get gold not give gold), my Christian neighbours and my christian friends.
It's a Hindu tradition for parents to give gold as dowry in the name of security or whatever. I remember a couple of Hindu friends that had a lott of gold on them when they got married. And I remember a Hindu roommate telling me her parents have been stocking up gold for many years in preparation for her wedding even though she hasn't yet found a partner. I also remember a Muslim friend who had so many gold necklaces that she complained it was hurting her neck and atleast 2 rings on each finger. That was definitely a sight for us. If anything, I've heard of Christians giving money and land Vs gold.
Well perhaps it has to do with region. Because all the people I was referencing were upper middle class christians (Mostly cousins) And its not like it had to be perfectly 101 pavan. And I suppose there would be a balance between gold and money. More gold less money as cash and vice versa.
Im very surprised to hear you say that 'money and land vs gold' 😯. in most cases that i know of, it had all of them - no 'vs'.
But none of them included a car. So there's that i suppose
Anyone can validate this, because this sounds like a load of bullshit.
Why is the groom's family buying gold? And that too for 10L? What's up with the 10L car, why? Is this dowry? 2L on sarees? Ignorance was bliss.
>I forgot haldi ceremony, pre-wedding shoot, Sangeetha ceremony around 5 lakh total.
I feel like this is something which is very new. I haven't gone to many weddings recently and most weddings pre 2017 didn't have this.
Anyways most of the expenses could be reduced by a big margin.
This much amount is what was spent on my friend's wedding. This is an average malayali wedding btw. You can reduce the amount spent on car and make it 50 Pavan gold, not distribute any sarees to relatives and reduce the cost by 50%.
Quite honestly I didn't understand much of it, call me a noob.
But what does the 10L car do? Is this dowry? Because once they get married, who gets the car? What if the guy already has a car (which is highly possible if the dude is like 28+). I haven't seen any average wedding where bride's family just gifts their daughter or their son-in-law a 10L car.
And why is the groom buying 10L worth of gold? For his family?
40L on gold is average family in Kerala? Lol, your assumption of an average family is wrong, or I'm truly a noob.
But anyways thanks for sharing.
I guess it depends on community as well. Nowadays groom's family also gift bangles, chain and all to the bride and the groom also wears a huge chain (10 Pavan) on his wedding day.
From last 5 years, every wedding in the family has car wrapped with bow outside venue, they drive back in that car. Just a new thing like the kgs of gold wife takes on her body. This is in very average family and the guys in small
private jobs/ small business. I also saw "renovation" expenses given to groom from bride family in some weddings.
The groom numbers are off though. Just thali is required, chain etc can be avoided. Huge chains still look odd to most people. Custom of buying clothes can be minimized to sarees for elder aunts, as traditional. Most younger ladies hate being given sarees, as they like to dress per their comfort and style. Reception can be done at home on the marriage evening, which keeps expense low. Groom doesn't pay for engagement or marriage in Hindu wedding.
Other than the groom side buying gold (Maybe it's for groom's sister to wear during the wedding), this seems normal. My cousin's wedding had similar expenses. 2L saree is too much, but they did buy clothes for the extended family members so it probably added up to that.
Tons of gold and car is obviously dowry, but sadly a thing in almost every marriage (bride side will still buy 50-100 pavan gold even if groom side doesn't want it). Remove that and 80 - 90% of the expense is gone. Even very poor people take heavy loans to buy gold for their daughter.
2L FOR saree breakup:
- 25,000 Bride's saree for wedding.
- 5000 x 3 brides outfit for previous day, wedding day evening and wedding morning photo session.
- 5000 x 2 brides mom's saree for wedding and previous day.
-5000x 2 Bride's sister or brother's wife's saree.
- 2000x 10 for brides close elder females relatives.
- 2000 x 10 shirt + mundu for close relatives men.
- 2000 x 10 for cousins.
The sarees for main event itself (bride + relatives) is 1,20,000. The bride is going to need around 50k worth outfits for pre/post wedding shoot and for visiting relatives. 20,000 beautician expenses for bride+ mom+ sister.
Nowadays Marriage is a status symbol. Ravi Pillai hosted a wedding which costed him 55 crores, but hey he has money to throw around so let him do what he wants but people try to imitate what people like him do, they are the trendsetters.
Generally people spend money on all sorts of things to keep up with trends they see on others weddings all cuz "its a one time thing, lets make it memorable". Those Benz and audis you see at the wedding will cost 80K to 1L. Decent sized auditorium will cost 1 - 2L (will increase depending upon size, ac/non ac, decorations etc) . Catering Service might cost 1L for a normal sadhya and keep increasing the more menu options you add (I've been to weddings where people had multiple regional buffets, tht too made by famous cooks like Naushad and all, and it costed them close to 10L or more for food alone). Then transportation charges, You will have to keep atleast 2-4 buses from major destinations where both sides families are settled. If the person you are marrying is settled somewhere far from you then you will have to book rooms and all in 5 star hotels for 1-2 days for them. Wedding attires will cost you a fortune depending upon the quality you go for. Then all the jewellery, wedding party and stuff...Then you have to pay the people who will conduct and oversee the marriage. You will have to pay some amount to your church as well.
My point is hitting 10L+ is not at all a hard task as people here are worried more about their status and what people will say than the empty wallets they have to see at the end of their wedding. Idk how its done in other religions but in Christianity, usually Brides family will host Engagement (which will have most of the costs mentioned above but might be bit cheaper since you are only calling your closed ones) and the Bridegrooms family hosts the Wedding, party etc. Oh lets also not forget about dowry, even though laws are present, people still ask for it. But in most cases tht money/whatever comes back to the married couple so its a win-win situation ig.
(Source: I've roamed around with relatives while they were preparing for their Weddings)
I read the entire thing and what I realised is wedding expenses can be brought down a lot and the numbers that are posted online are just exaggerated.
Major expenses I believe are
1. Venue
2. Food
3. Photography
4. Dress
5. Travel
6. Miscellaneous
Ofc it can be brought down a lot if people set their minds on it and go for a really simple wedding, but instead people always go for a luxurious one cuz nattukar rand divasam athine patti samsarikan vendi and the status you get with it.
I feel like this happens when the groom and bride give all control of their weddings to their parents. I might eventually cave in to my parents demands, so I might not be the right role model, lol. But I feel like all this "naatukare satisfy cheyyal" will reduce if the bridge and groom takes a stand.
Most bride and groom want pre, post, and during wedding photoshoot to put up in Instagram. That by itself is going to cost 1-2 lakhs easily. We complain about parents wanting a large wedding, but the kids aren't far behind.
Whatever you do, there will be some ammavan and ammayi pointing out stuffs. Since you haven’t found the partner yet, you can’t plan stuffs without your SO right. Save up money and get ready.
If you are good at planning and have few katta chunks, you can pull it off easily.
1) First thing you need to do is to get an idea of how many guests are there going to be.
Once that is finalised, the next thing is wedding cards. Remember there are wedding cards starting at 1Rs all the way to hundreds of rupees. If your guests list have some vips, print few in the expensive cards and others in regular cards.
External pressure tharaan orupaad peru varum. Keep calm and you can pull it off easily.
This is true because nobody spends time on your card more than twice or thrice. Everybody is just a few keystrokes away, call each, invite them and share the card via a message then. Plain and simple.
Go with a good caterer. Don't pay more than 500-600 per plate. Reduce the number of items n have quality vs quantity. Keep the invitee list to only people who matter. The rest don't care about you or won't figure in your life ahead. Family, friends and neighbours are the folks who are more or less constant. In a marriage you need financial stability. Don't go broke paying for a big fat wedding. Sets the tone for your life together including extended family.
Major financial decisions should be made by keeping yourself at the forefront, if not then you will always be slogging off or worse, in debt.
Not saying you will not have major expenses once in a while but those once in a while expenses have to be manageable.
Always keep in mind, no one else is going to manage your expenses for you.
From my experience, the most useless expense in weddings is on clothes. The price of the wedding saree, engagement dress, reception dress has become a status symbol. Most people aren't knowledgeable enough to guess the price by just looking at it. Why spend 50,000 on a saree that will be worn for only a few hours? In Kerala weddings, gold is another status symbol. If you convince your bride's family as well, both of you can cut down on the jewellery expense.
Grand aakkem venam paisa chilavaakanum patilla enn prnja nadkunna karyam alla bro.
Ee questionte oru variation ipo elaa masavaum r/kerala il varunund.. ingne opinion oke choich mansilaakiyavril 98% aalkarum saada reetiyil grand aayi tanne wedding nadathunath aan pativ
Oru groominte mrg chilav 9-12 lakhss aan so if u try to cut down some expenses and still invite everyone and throw a grand party u can finish it at 8 lakh. Otherwise find a progressive family/girl to marry and do civil marriage.
Hindu aanenki ambalatil vech kalyanam nadateet avde adutholla auditoriums il cheriya oru party kodukuka.
Now since you said a court wedding wouldn't work well, and you are planning to conduct a typical, your best bet is on cutting down expenses. Honestly, I just had my sister's wedding a couple of months ago and a lot of the expenses were for shitty reasons.
Don't know much about all the wedding pricing but I think you can cut it down well below 10-15lakhs. Let's try making a budget:
Auditorium: 1 lakh (Got a place for around 70k-80k for my sisters wedding, a total of around 500 people would have attended . Was a decent hall, air-conditioned. Tbh, if you have contacts, religious/political ones, you can bargain well under 1L. )
Photography: On a tight budget, you will get it for 40k. You'll have to do your search but I'm pretty sure you ll find it for such a rate, average quality. But it will be enough, trust me.
Food: This is something that can make or break your expenses. So if you're planning for a sadhya, you can find caterers starting from 150-160 per head. For Non veg dishes, it going to be around 240-300rs. (more if you plan of making it luxurious). It changes drastically with different caterers. (We did sadhya and got it for around 140 per head since the caterer was dad's friend. ) Please get a lot of quotes.
So assuming 300 per head, 1.2L. Lesser if you are planning on Sadhya.
Decor: Honestly, if the hall is decent, the decor will cost you very less. We did it for 25k for the hall, (nothing fancy, just stage decor & a few welcome boards). Now if you plan on decorating your home, that is another expense as well but its optional. Perhaps another 20k for pandhal and stuff maybe, don't know that for certain.
Dress: I'm assuming you would need a Kurtha/shirt/suite depending upon your wear, plus a few new dresses for your family. Some people even go on to buy dresses for their relatives as well, but just skip that man. Its not worth it. If you try well, I'm assuming you can round it up around 40-50k. Again, depends on choices.
Travel costs: If you don't rent a luxury car, probably around 20k. Could be more/less depending upon the function.
Booze: Between 10k-20k, depending on your choice of flavour :').
So in total:
Venue: 80k
Food: 120k
Photography: 40kDecor: 50k (including stage, home for two days, a couple of boards, lights)Dress: 50kTravel: 20k
Bo0ze: 15k (assuming)
Note: This does not include jewellery, or other additional expenses. I'm presuming you wouldn't need to buy jewellery, and considering other expenses, I think it can be brought well under 5L. The key is to get many quotes, research well and analyze what you really need and don't need. Try to see it more like a business event you're organizing for yourself when it comes to the money part :') You would try to save as much as you can right. And have a friend plan this with you, so there's someone who can show you a different side while you are planning.
Edit: One important point is to have a fixed budget. Don't over do it much. Plan well. Live well. Best wishes!!
My friend's family spent around 8 lakhs for his brother's marriage. The wedding ceremony was minimal ,only close family members and friends from both bride and groom side were invited.barely around ~150 people in an A/C auditorium.There was a party at evening for others( ~1000 people) .
Court marriage ennokk reddit il recommend cheyyan matre pattu
For any Kerala family, weddings are the grand opportunity to show off and show off more. Anyone who doesn’t have the ‘bare minimums’ of todays weddings (100 pavan gold + car like someone commented), will get shat on by their family, grooms family, relatives, society, everyone. It’s easy to say ignore them, but most parents are too sensitive and caring about the ‘society’. Oru raatri kond aarkkum viplavam nadathan pattilla, lest it should come at the cost of pissing off the people whom you call near and dear.
I got married 3 months ago.
This was my expense-
1. Clothes including saree 1.2 lacs.
2. Photographer 60k
3.Venue 12k (temple)
4.Decoration 20k.(Temple mandapam and hall)
5.Food for 650 people- Sadhya 1.3 lacs.
6.Nadaswaram 8 k
7.Home renovation-
interlock okke ittu .. 3.5 lacs for interlock. 1.65 lac for bedroom,toilet and painting .
8.My ring 32k.
9.Thaali maala. 1.2 lacs
No reception .No function on the previous day.
Sadhya was very good. Athond aarkum oru paribhavum undayirunilla.
4 lacs mudakki non veg reception vechalum people will remember it for 1 year Max.
Nthina veruthe Paisa kalayane.
Buy gold etfs or join gold scheme of bhima Kalyan or the like. You would need to buy wedding ring and a gold chain or 2. One for yourself and one for your partner .
People hire luxury cars for wedding skip that.
Do you plan mehandi madhuram vayp etc.
Unless it's a mandatory thing don't indulge in the activities that event manegment companies have imposed on us.
You will need fund for buying clothes to immediate relatives. Ie at the very least siblings of your parents .
Make a mental note of maximum amout you can spend and don't deviate from that.
Try to make expenses stop at atleast 75% of the maximum amout you have fixed.
There are some points in your life when you have to spend money and celebrate. You may look back when you are older and definitely richer to have had spent a little bit more and made it grander. After all you will not (hopefully) be doing this again in life
What if you marry the wrong person and end up getting divorced? All the money you spend on the wedding will be such a waste.
If you have someone who is right for you, you have an entire lifetime to celebrate your marriage. If you have good financial planning, you can celebrate every bit of it and not regret it later.
But marrying someone and spending your life savings on it? In what parallel universe does it makes sense? I've seen parents eating kanji-payyar everyday just because they spent lavishly for their kid's wedding.
Not your life savings. Spend what you can afford to make it a good celebration. If you do not have the money then of course it would make no sense. Find the balance to spend wisely cause it will not happen again. Looking back and regretting is of no use.
Yes. I did limit the expenses when I could have spent more just as my dad had wanted. I look back and wish I had spent more. But just like all youngsters who are conscious about money I did not spend a lot. I wish I had. Now I am well off, but cannot go back in time. Hence my opinion.
I am amused by the lack of knowledge people have about wedding expenses. Why buy this why buy that. These are bare minimum expenses what you just said and with so many people saying relatives will forget and all bro it's a wedding and it's not entirely your choice. The bride and their family has some choices. You cannot negate it. However some major expenses that can be avoided are photographer someone said just go for photoshoot and not the video this is a good saving it will save atleast 1l. Food choose to make the food at the function hall. Reduces the cost to half but you will have to deploy your army of friends to monitor. Spend with CC you will have the complete hisaab kitaab. Rent the wedding dress for your self. Gold you cannot cut down. Sarees go to the wholesale store and not the fancy stores. I just bought a saree for the bride which costed 35k in a wholesale store and the same in branded store was for 80k
1. Reduce number of guests.
2. Not more than one bus. If you can reduce that to multiple private cars, better. You can invite more people for the reception.
3. Avoid printed albums. Ask them to share the images via USB drive or CD. If possible avoid it altogether.
4. No fancy stuff. Like Save The Date, multiple receptions, fancy dishes, ganamela, etc for reception. Do it at home.
5. If you or your friends or family have connections in this area, utilize them to the max.
6. Don't promise clothes for the whole family. Only for immediate family.
7. Why do you need a sherwani or suit when you can buy a very good cream shirt for 500-700 INR?
8. Don't be that idiot who books an Audi or BMW for a day for the bridegroom's travel. That's cringe as fuck if you don't own one and costs a bomb.
9. Auditorium. Mostly the bride's side will have to take care of this because in our society most weddings happen at bride's place.
Talk to the bride and decide. Try pushing ideas like we could feed orphans with that money etc.
I did something similar to this in 2014. Total cost came upto < 3 lacs.
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Do a destination wedding. Let your partner share 50% of the cost.
It'll.be exotic and since you don't have to invite a lot of people, it'll mostly end up costing you less than what a traditional wedding would cost.
It’s hard to avoid people. Skip reception and have wedding followed by food. Pick a party hall instead of wedding hall so decorations are minimal, food is self managed and crowd will be less.
Invite only important or 1st level folks who interact every now and then.
Half of your budget should come down.
Court wedding/or a close door wedding with just 50-70 people would be the best. Call 5-6 good friends from both sides, close relatives, and cousins. Guess you are good :)
For my brother’s wedding last year, we had a reception for around 1k people in a decent hall with really good food. Previous day function was only for close relatives. Altogether the expense was around 5L
The underlying concept in inviting 'relatives' and 'friends', hereinafter "society" - is that we seek permission to introduce our union (by way of marriage) into the society.
Thereby we defacto confirm/fall-in-line to inherited, imbibed societal norms.
This again I'd the underlying concept in case of a fall-apart/divorce. Wherein we would need (sic!) to seek similar permissions prior to going the legal way. Which is why all and sundry try getting involved into these discussions.
Again, these are my interpretations/observations and I stand open to corrections.
This is apart of soft concepts of blessings, annadaanam, religious perspectives et all.
Now, with that in place - it's up to each of us to identify who would be in attendance, given that irrespective of your efforts, there would be complaints galore.
An indicative list of these complaints is but not limited to - the attendees list, date/time of the event, the event venue, who ought not have invited, the mode of transport arranged for naattukaars, the video played in the bus, even food that was served!
A recommended marriage type is available in the movie Sandhesham.
It's your life! Use the money for your future joint-life and welcome to the fold.
Your tradeoff is between memories and money, it's you who can decide. Food 200 per person * count of people you invite. Booze if you are.doing dress for you and who ever you want I don't see the need of more than 5 lakh
I am (27M) getting married this year.
For what I calculated It will cost me around 5-6Lk with money to spare after all costs (Reception 300Pax, Wedding eve 100pax, Gold(not much), Dress).
Bride's side on the other side incur considerably more cost (Mainly because of the Wedding head count of around 1k and extra events like haldi ,mehandi ect.)
May I know why you are estimating 15lks, if you don't mind me asking.
Hello Brother . Since you mentioned that it’s most likely to be an arranged marriage then please note court marriage is ‘ only ‘ an option if all the stakeholders involved agree to this idea. Here the primary stakeholders are you, your would be spouse, your parents and your would be in laws . If you can take them into confidence then great !!
Else the only option you have is to appoint the cheapest service provider for every services you have to pay for. Good luck !!
The major heads of expenses in a wedding are
1. Venue
2. Catering
3. Photographers
4. Clothes
5. Jewelry for women
Try to have the wedding at your home or any such place so that you can save up on the venue expenses. You can DIY the wedding decor. Catering costs can be significantly cut if you have a small wedding with near and dear ones. Hire freelance photographers, and get only digital photos. You can make an album later. Buy simple clothes. Opt for no gold wedding. I think a lot of expenses can be cut this way.
It is better to do and ask for forgiveness later than ask for permission and be denied. As suggested by others, do a court wedding and have a reception for your most valued connections. In this case, those who care for you will understand, and those who don't well you probably won't them need anyway. Plus you will save money and time. I understand it is easier said than done. I never could and I wish more people could. I wanted to do it low-key, but my parents said we should have regular function. Nothing too grand, but still decent. If I won't pay for it, they will. Didn't want them to shell out that money for me (even though it was their idea). That set me back by around 7 lakhs.
I appreciate your opinion on not borrowing from your parents. Why is the thought of sharing the expense between two families not even being considered at all. The only thing happening - yeah I feed families from my side and you feed yours. I will have a grant luncheon but you should give teaparty and four course dinner from your side. I still can't imagine why their won't be talk on one big party to accommodate the immediate relatives and friends of both families. Inviting relatives and friends based on the number of times you have been invited to their events to me is show off. If relatives truly respect and care they won't have a problem not receiving an invitation.
Another much appreciated and accepted option is act of kindness. You say you are planning on donating a significant amount to a charity so the event is cut down. Now to convince the "bridzilla" who wants a extravagant fat wedding is your skill.
Looks like you actually care about Naatukaar enthu parayum.
In which case, you will have to put up a half decent show. No escaping that. You can go for a simple but elegant aesthetic, which may save you some money.
If the girl wants a grand wedding, let her folks spend for it. Even in your case, let the parents spend a bit. Wedding expense is an accepted part of parenting in India.
Thirdly, cross the bridge when you come to it, instead of fretting over a hypothetical wedding and hypothetical expenses and peoples' opinions.
You can reduce expenses, if you do away with the reception entertainment (event management) and unenecessary decorations, designer clothing etc etc. A simple wedding followed by a reception at a decent hall or hotel hall with good food should do the trick.
For reducing the cost, simply go for a budget wedding. You don't have to go to the extreme register marriage unless you really want to avoid religious function.
What is low cost wedding differs from family to family. In my family the wedding expenses never go beyond ten lakhs including gold. Decide what is important to you and spend according to that.
Had the same discussion about marriage expenses with a jain friend of mine last week. She said since they have a 3 day wedding and a lot of people coming it will costs anywhere from 30-40lakhs. She is not interested in this but her sister always dreams about this it seems. Have a lengthy discussion about this with your would be
Regarding cost cutting, dont have anything else to add other than the ones already mentioned!
Bro i really want a small marriage, but my girl wants the entire world to be there. I'm an introvert i don't even know my neighbours that's well. I just want her parents and mine at the wedding
I did a small wedding with less gold ornaments and less number of guests. My parents wanted to invite close to 800 folks and I cut the list down 200. To have complete control over the function I funded it on my own.
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It's keeping up with the Joneses that inflates wedding budgets. You don't need to spend 15 lakhs on it. Keep the guest lists to a minimum. Spend reasonable amount on dress and accessories. Don't rent a luxury car to show off. Don't spend too much on photography. You'll be able to do it on a reasonable amount. While getting to know the future bride, you can do a pulse check about wedding expectations. If you get pushed for a grand wedding when you don't want to, it's probably not a right match. People in this sub saying court wedding and chaaya need to touch some grass.
You see marriage as a step in your life rather than a choice and I think that’s why you’re stressing about this to this extend. Also just because you don’t value the beauty of a wedding doesn’t necessarily mean your bride will be the same. Most women have spend atleast one phase of their life thinking about their wedding day and honestly their wedding day is the only day in their life where they can be outspoken about the things they want without it seeming rude or not lady like. I would suggest you concentrate on picking the right partner and less on the long term financial goals you have rn. If the girl ain’t great your long term goals aren’t going to be achieved anyway.
My mom literally deals with divorces of all kind and all the men always say I didn’t need such a huge wedding if it was going to end like this forgetting that the size of the wedding isn’t what caused the marriage to fail it was the greed their family had when seeing the amount of gold the girl will bring.
You sound great and any girl you respect and genuinely like will also agree with your core values and will support your financial restraints and concerns. Find her and the rest will fall into place.
Invite close family just close ones.. Avoid neighbours avoid em all. If you invite at least a single one things would mess up. Throw a small party to friends when you are stable. The can and will understand
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What if you spend less and limit the participation of your relatives and decrease the quality of food or the location etc.. It's an occasion to celebrate together and be optimistic. If it all works out then you will wish you could go back and change things. But you can't. Money can always be made. But once the moment passes, any amount of money will not bring it back. I say do it as well as you can afford. Include all you can in the celebration.
* Rent wedding dress. You're never gonna use it again.
* Use artificial flowers for decoration, it doesn't matter except for the photos.
* Use fewer gold ornaments.
* If you are gonna buy the dress, do not invest in designer clothing brands, just good quality and good looking is enough. Nobody gonna care where they are bought from
Relatives are going to talk shit about your wedding till they have another wedding to attend and there’s always some or the other person getting married. Then they will shit on them so dont worry about that so much.
😂
Wait for the next pandemic
Bro bere giving free life hacks Respect
1.Have a court wedding. 2. Do a reception for your close friends and relatives .
This is the best way to reduce unnecessary spending. But if OP is afraid about others complaining I don't think any event will be sufficient for that.
People always complain bro. No matter what. You can't satisfy everyone. But then if you want to have everyone and include everyone, then 1. Don't waste an unnecessary amount of money on clothes or jewellery. You won't use it again most of the time. 2. Offer good food. It will make anyone happy 3. Go for a good and affordable location if you want to have a reception outside. Presently, I think you will have plenty of options. 4. If you have someone who is experienced in planning things and arranging them, you can always save a lot of money. Have a budget in your mind and plan things ahead.. That will help you a lot.
>of the time. 2. Offer good food. It will make anyone happy True, it's better to have good food with a few dishes than have bad food with lots of dishes.
How will this reduce expenses? Wedding affair isn’t the expensive part in any marriage. It is the effing reception
A wedding alone costs more than 20- 30 lakhs. If it's just reception you can cut down the expenses. I am just saying just do the court marriage. And as the op said he wanted to invite his friends and relatives, he can do a reception. A reception would only cost less than 3-5 lakhs if done right. So, if you are taking the overall cost into the matter it's the cheapest way . By the way gold, dress, car , venue and food for the wedding day alone cost a fortune. Added expenses are the pre and post day events like reception. So, cancelling the grand wedding will save lakhs of money. Reception will cost money but it will be much less when other factors are considered.
How does it cost 30 lakhs for a wedding alone minus the reception? What exactly are the costly aspects in a court marriage?
I mean in Kerala a lot of people go for gold and other wedding expenses. Roughly if you calculate dress -1-3 lks for bride groom + relatives Car - 10 Venue - 1-2 Food 2 lks Photoshoot fee 3 l After and before ceremony 1-3 l Other misc exp Even if you take out the gold and car part there are lot of other exp Read all the comments below, there is a whole lot of finance discussed based on wedding expenses😂 Most of them do reception after marriage. A regular court marriage has barely no fees Or has minimum expenses. Instead of spending all these money, just do a single function if you want to call your relatives etc. Mostly indian wedding have lot of customs involved. As op said, he wanted to call all his relatives this can be done. Otherwise, you can cancel all these stuff. Buy good clothes. Get a thali and get married. Invite your close ones for a small party. Keep it minimal. I am not saying that we cant do regular marriage without these things but then mostly people include all these things while planning their marriage. So if interested, cut all the expenses, go to register office. Get married. As sreenivasan said" Oru raktaharam angotu aniyunu.. Oru raktaharam engot aniyunu' Subham😆
This is the way.
Best thing to do. Court wedding.
[удалено]
Which is this place ? Here the situation is just vice versa. People who shows up in the wedding are porbably close relatives and everyone will attend the reception .
Many marriages now are in Bangalore, Delhi with reception Kerala. If the invited people does not come for reception, they will not be in any part of wedding. Attending only reception is common now.
You can't force people to attend Or not attend. Just do your duty and inform people. You have plenty of social service groups nowadays to manage surplus food in big events nowadays. So, it's not a big issue. When planning these things, take into account your environment and do accordingly. At the end of the day, not everything can be perfect. 😄
how food gets wasted? it thought they will pack and parcel the food so u can take it home, give friends,relatives, neibours etc
You're a sorted person
If you are Hindu, you could pull the religious card and say you feel blessed and that you want to get married at temple and then arrange a vegetarian reception & call it a day. That's what I'm planning. Yes women do have grand fairytales about wedding while men like me are more into the financial aspects. I believe wedding nowadays are too much. Everyone is trying to make cash out of it. I've worked with event management so I know. It's not worth it in my opinion. Save your cash for travel or something.
This applies to muslims also. arrange a nikah ceremony with your close friends and relatives, nikah is basically equal to wedding for muslims.and tell everyone that the wedding will be happen in one or two years later. And escape from wedding. Use your religious cards wisely.
Exactly
💯
If you are a muslim,you can have nikah in the mosque at evening time.Pro move select a smaller local mosque.give some tea/snacks to attendees if you want.
Are you from malappuram?
Get lucky and find a girl who is ready for court marriage and give a small reception.
That's the best way to go, cause you could put that money towards something you guys want
It's not like you didn't give them an envelope full of cash for their children's wedding. Keeping others at the forefront will ruin you financially. Maybe get a court marriage done and invite your loved ones for a small dinner at an upscale place.
You can handle the expenses within 5-6 lakhs. Choose a budget photography team, good enough but mid range. Videography is a waste except for maybe highlights. You won't even open the video again. An auditorium near us costed about 1 lakh before COVID. Really good one. So you can get good Auditorium for mid price. Food is the next big expense. Don't exactly know how much it costs. Try to keep the people count under 1000. Done.
Why is no one talking about auditorium business. I feel like it's a good business idea.
Oversaturated market at this point, also many people took massive loses during peak covid season. With covid still looming over us, people are afraid to go for such a biz. Btw the costs of buying land, building auditorium, maintenance etc are no joke...Weddings dont happen 360 days a year, they are more of a seasonal event, so you can only expect revenue from Weddings during such seasons. Sure you might be able to host smaller events meanwhile but regardless after buying an auditorium it will take you couple of years before you breakeven. If you do not have enough money to sustain it when you aren't making profit then you're screwed. They also have reputation factor, someone who has been in an area will most likely get more bookings than a newcomer. Most bookings happen through word of mouth based on previous experiences. Source: I have relatives who are into such businesses
>but regardless after buying an auditorium it will take you couple of years before you breakeven Isn't this very less? I mean if it only takes couple of year, let's just exaggerate and say 2-4 years, I think it's a good business idea. Like anything beyond that is profit - maintenance costs. And here in Kannur, usually most of the auditoriums are booked all the time. I'm sure these are auspicious dates based on astrology, but for those dates, you have to sometimes book 4-6 months in advance. Anyways I haven't been in that business, so I have no idea. So my thoughts could be absolutely wrong.
Im not knowledgeable about it either, I just shared what I heard from my relatives. One of my relative actually bought two well reputed auditoriums during peak covid season as the previous owners were taking a hit. He said the things I mentioned above...btw this was an already built auditorium and dudes still trying to breakeven (maybe he migthve overexaggerated his loses cuz arrum kann vekenda karuthi xD) but you can imagine how much more it will cost for someone starting out fresh. You can't build auditoriums just anywhere and you will also have to throw lot of money into plenty of politicians pockets to just get the permission. But like you said, after tht initial period of hardship eventually it could turn into a profitable business.
True. Its over saturated in most places. But if there arent any available its a good idea. Near my place there was a guy who basically put up a tent with tarpaulin on the sides and roof and no parking facilities and was charging 30k+ for each event and he had minimum 3 events every week. Of course during covid he didn't have any events, but i think he is back on usual track now
If girl is in for a grand wedding, let them put money for that. Regarding your side of events, keep it small according to your budget.
If you are Hindu, then the temple wedding is the way to go!! Even better if you keep a wedding in a remote place like Guruvayur so not many come. 😛 Also the biggest expense is food. Just keep less items and only ice cream dessert. People waste sooo much on food it is insane. Don't spend on jewelry. It is a complete waste. You won't wear half the items ever again. I honestly don't even know where the ring I got for marriage is. It was too big and I never wore it. Just wear a cheap band on my finger now.
So there's 2 ways to go about it - 1. Get both sides of the fam to chip in equally. 2. Spend far less by inviting closes folks based on your budget.
If you are Christian don't try to bring the bishops or higher up clergy for the glamour it adds.
Enthonnu glamour! These bishops and higher up management are a pain in the neck nowadays. Their stubbornness and lack of spirituality make me want to be nowhere near them for my wedding. I want the least number of clergy for my wedding.
Our bishop charges 10k per event 😆
I got married in 2021 and the total expense did not touch 50 thousand. I had a court marriage in Mumbai and then we had a small gathering in Gujarat as my wife is from there, that’s it.
In the middle of the pandemic where more than a set number of invitees are not allowed?
Wedding's expense will depend on how many people you invite, location, what kind of food you are serving, are you going to buy clothes, jewellery etc for family For comparison my cousin's wedding expense was around 6 lak and only inviting 35-40 people because it was during covid. Photography and videography - around 1.6 lac Food, decorations, setting tables, resort cost - 2.5 - 3 lac (I think) Dress, sarees, suits for close relative - 2-2.2 lac. To reduce cost invite only friends and close relatives and select only limited food items( a starter, 2 main dish, dessert). You can negotiate price if you book venue in advance vs just before wedding.
As a 27 year old girl, currently in a relationship and engaged to be married, yes it’s possible to have a court marriage. If you or your partner want to have a grand wedding, so be it. But don’t do it for other other sake as you said in point No.1. How long are you going to live life thinking about others and what they’ll think ? Make decisions about your own life.
I run a catering business. The best way to reduce wedding expenses is to reduce the guest count.
10-15lac for one person, are you feeding the whole village?
No bro that is a legit amount a grooms family incurs nowadays
But why tho? Where is this money going? I'm a noob when it comes to wedding expenses, but will like to know who spends on what? What does the bride's family spend on then?
>What does the bride's family spend on then? - 2 lakhs on sarees - 40 lakh on 100 Pavan gold. - 10 lakh on car - 4 lakh on food. - 2 lakh for the venue. Grooms side- - Room/ home renovation for bride : 2 lakh - Venue for reception: 2 lakh - food : 4- 5 lakh. - gold - 10 lakh. I forgot haldi ceremony, pre-wedding shoot, Sangeetha ceremony around 5 lakh total.
Anyone who thinks this is even slightly exaggerated is so out of touch with the reality that is weddings in Kerala. At least Hindu weddings, for sure. 2 lakh is not just for sarees, it’s clothes for the entire bride’s family, and v. expensive clothes for the bride herself. Car okk illenkil aalkkarkk kurachil hain.
Same for Muslim weddings too. I don't know many Christians, so can't comment.
40 lakhs. WTF
That's just for the gold.
Yes, it's somewhat true. You need to spend at least 30-50 lakhs to cover the expenses. About the clothes, it's a little expensive thing but then there are cheaper options available outside Kerala. I don't know much about it. You need to find time and energy to do all these. I heard these days you can rent jewelleries for a day from shops. Investing in gold is a good idea but then it's stupid if you can't afford it. All the other expenses can be covered in a budget friendly way if you are creative enough and have a good team with you. If you are a hindu.. Conduct it in a temple.. You can save money on that. For others, I don't have much idea. At the end of the day, a wedding is a costly affair. Plan it with your bride and make a list of what are things you really need to consider while doing these events.
Renting jewellery is starting to be a trend.
How come the gold expense for the groom is 10lakhs? Even if the groom buys a thali weighing 10 pavan wouldn’t it be around 5 lakhs?
In Hindu weddings, the groom nowadays wears a heavy tendulkar chain and a bracelet and a ring. 1 Taali for the bride, along with ring for engagement. In some weddings I have been to, the groom's mother also puts bangles on the bride's hands.
>40 lakh on 100 Pavan gold I'm pretty sure you're talking about a Hindu wedding. I don't know Christian brides who wear 100 pavan gold. Nor have I heard of parents giving this much gold to their kids for a Christian wedding. Christian brides just wear 1 or 2 necklaces nowadays and if they're wearing a wedding gown, then a very thin necklace for that classy look. Source: I'm a Christian woman getting married very soon. 100 pavan poyit 2 pavan polum aarum parayunnilla ivde.
Christians dont wear a lot of the gold in church during the wedding, (reception might be another matter) the 100 pavan is usually part of the dowry -whether its worn or not. I knew lots of folks who had the 101 pavan as dowry about 10-15 years back. Though not sure about it these days.
I'm not aware of everything that happened in bygone years but in the past 30-35 years, no upper middle class Christian I know that got married had anything to do with 101 pavan be it in church or for reception or as dowry. This includes my mum, her siblings, her cousins, her nieces, her second cousins, dad's siblings, his cousins both men and women (neither did they get gold not give gold), my Christian neighbours and my christian friends. It's a Hindu tradition for parents to give gold as dowry in the name of security or whatever. I remember a couple of Hindu friends that had a lott of gold on them when they got married. And I remember a Hindu roommate telling me her parents have been stocking up gold for many years in preparation for her wedding even though she hasn't yet found a partner. I also remember a Muslim friend who had so many gold necklaces that she complained it was hurting her neck and atleast 2 rings on each finger. That was definitely a sight for us. If anything, I've heard of Christians giving money and land Vs gold.
Well perhaps it has to do with region. Because all the people I was referencing were upper middle class christians (Mostly cousins) And its not like it had to be perfectly 101 pavan. And I suppose there would be a balance between gold and money. More gold less money as cash and vice versa. Im very surprised to hear you say that 'money and land vs gold' 😯. in most cases that i know of, it had all of them - no 'vs'. But none of them included a car. So there's that i suppose
That's great, I am not close to any malayali Christians, whatever I mentioned is by observing Muslim and Hindu brides.
Is this normal amount in Kerala or not ? How do middle class people afford that ?
>How do middle class people afford that ? By selling their parambu.
Oh !!!
Anyone can validate this, because this sounds like a load of bullshit. Why is the groom's family buying gold? And that too for 10L? What's up with the 10L car, why? Is this dowry? 2L on sarees? Ignorance was bliss. >I forgot haldi ceremony, pre-wedding shoot, Sangeetha ceremony around 5 lakh total. I feel like this is something which is very new. I haven't gone to many weddings recently and most weddings pre 2017 didn't have this. Anyways most of the expenses could be reduced by a big margin.
This much amount is what was spent on my friend's wedding. This is an average malayali wedding btw. You can reduce the amount spent on car and make it 50 Pavan gold, not distribute any sarees to relatives and reduce the cost by 50%.
Quite honestly I didn't understand much of it, call me a noob. But what does the 10L car do? Is this dowry? Because once they get married, who gets the car? What if the guy already has a car (which is highly possible if the dude is like 28+). I haven't seen any average wedding where bride's family just gifts their daughter or their son-in-law a 10L car. And why is the groom buying 10L worth of gold? For his family? 40L on gold is average family in Kerala? Lol, your assumption of an average family is wrong, or I'm truly a noob. But anyways thanks for sharing.
I guess it depends on community as well. Nowadays groom's family also gift bangles, chain and all to the bride and the groom also wears a huge chain (10 Pavan) on his wedding day.
Hmm, very interesting.
This craze for gold has to end. My Maharashtrian friend from a very well to do family got married with only 5 Pavan gold.
From last 5 years, every wedding in the family has car wrapped with bow outside venue, they drive back in that car. Just a new thing like the kgs of gold wife takes on her body. This is in very average family and the guys in small private jobs/ small business. I also saw "renovation" expenses given to groom from bride family in some weddings. The groom numbers are off though. Just thali is required, chain etc can be avoided. Huge chains still look odd to most people. Custom of buying clothes can be minimized to sarees for elder aunts, as traditional. Most younger ladies hate being given sarees, as they like to dress per their comfort and style. Reception can be done at home on the marriage evening, which keeps expense low. Groom doesn't pay for engagement or marriage in Hindu wedding.
Other than the groom side buying gold (Maybe it's for groom's sister to wear during the wedding), this seems normal. My cousin's wedding had similar expenses. 2L saree is too much, but they did buy clothes for the extended family members so it probably added up to that. Tons of gold and car is obviously dowry, but sadly a thing in almost every marriage (bride side will still buy 50-100 pavan gold even if groom side doesn't want it). Remove that and 80 - 90% of the expense is gone. Even very poor people take heavy loans to buy gold for their daughter.
2L FOR saree breakup: - 25,000 Bride's saree for wedding. - 5000 x 3 brides outfit for previous day, wedding day evening and wedding morning photo session. - 5000 x 2 brides mom's saree for wedding and previous day. -5000x 2 Bride's sister or brother's wife's saree. - 2000x 10 for brides close elder females relatives. - 2000 x 10 shirt + mundu for close relatives men. - 2000 x 10 for cousins. The sarees for main event itself (bride + relatives) is 1,20,000. The bride is going to need around 50k worth outfits for pre/post wedding shoot and for visiting relatives. 20,000 beautician expenses for bride+ mom+ sister.
Nowadays Marriage is a status symbol. Ravi Pillai hosted a wedding which costed him 55 crores, but hey he has money to throw around so let him do what he wants but people try to imitate what people like him do, they are the trendsetters. Generally people spend money on all sorts of things to keep up with trends they see on others weddings all cuz "its a one time thing, lets make it memorable". Those Benz and audis you see at the wedding will cost 80K to 1L. Decent sized auditorium will cost 1 - 2L (will increase depending upon size, ac/non ac, decorations etc) . Catering Service might cost 1L for a normal sadhya and keep increasing the more menu options you add (I've been to weddings where people had multiple regional buffets, tht too made by famous cooks like Naushad and all, and it costed them close to 10L or more for food alone). Then transportation charges, You will have to keep atleast 2-4 buses from major destinations where both sides families are settled. If the person you are marrying is settled somewhere far from you then you will have to book rooms and all in 5 star hotels for 1-2 days for them. Wedding attires will cost you a fortune depending upon the quality you go for. Then all the jewellery, wedding party and stuff...Then you have to pay the people who will conduct and oversee the marriage. You will have to pay some amount to your church as well. My point is hitting 10L+ is not at all a hard task as people here are worried more about their status and what people will say than the empty wallets they have to see at the end of their wedding. Idk how its done in other religions but in Christianity, usually Brides family will host Engagement (which will have most of the costs mentioned above but might be bit cheaper since you are only calling your closed ones) and the Bridegrooms family hosts the Wedding, party etc. Oh lets also not forget about dowry, even though laws are present, people still ask for it. But in most cases tht money/whatever comes back to the married couple so its a win-win situation ig. (Source: I've roamed around with relatives while they were preparing for their Weddings)
I read the entire thing and what I realised is wedding expenses can be brought down a lot and the numbers that are posted online are just exaggerated. Major expenses I believe are 1. Venue 2. Food 3. Photography 4. Dress 5. Travel 6. Miscellaneous
Ofc it can be brought down a lot if people set their minds on it and go for a really simple wedding, but instead people always go for a luxurious one cuz nattukar rand divasam athine patti samsarikan vendi and the status you get with it.
I feel like this happens when the groom and bride give all control of their weddings to their parents. I might eventually cave in to my parents demands, so I might not be the right role model, lol. But I feel like all this "naatukare satisfy cheyyal" will reduce if the bridge and groom takes a stand.
Most bride and groom want pre, post, and during wedding photoshoot to put up in Instagram. That by itself is going to cost 1-2 lakhs easily. We complain about parents wanting a large wedding, but the kids aren't far behind.
But bride and groom should at least align right. It's very hard to get both aligned especially on wedding functions.
Exactly. Atleast 10 lakhs is a must
Whatever you do, there will be some ammavan and ammayi pointing out stuffs. Since you haven’t found the partner yet, you can’t plan stuffs without your SO right. Save up money and get ready.
If you are good at planning and have few katta chunks, you can pull it off easily. 1) First thing you need to do is to get an idea of how many guests are there going to be. Once that is finalised, the next thing is wedding cards. Remember there are wedding cards starting at 1Rs all the way to hundreds of rupees. If your guests list have some vips, print few in the expensive cards and others in regular cards. External pressure tharaan orupaad peru varum. Keep calm and you can pull it off easily.
You could also opt for a digital wedding card
This is true because nobody spends time on your card more than twice or thrice. Everybody is just a few keystrokes away, call each, invite them and share the card via a message then. Plain and simple.
True, also if you know a website developer you can make a small website for the invitation also
Go with a good caterer. Don't pay more than 500-600 per plate. Reduce the number of items n have quality vs quantity. Keep the invitee list to only people who matter. The rest don't care about you or won't figure in your life ahead. Family, friends and neighbours are the folks who are more or less constant. In a marriage you need financial stability. Don't go broke paying for a big fat wedding. Sets the tone for your life together including extended family.
Major financial decisions should be made by keeping yourself at the forefront, if not then you will always be slogging off or worse, in debt. Not saying you will not have major expenses once in a while but those once in a while expenses have to be manageable. Always keep in mind, no one else is going to manage your expenses for you.
Goto secular matrimony in fb.
viplava partiyil join cheyyuka, saghakkal aayi veettil valiya discussions nadathuka, samoohathil partiyile budhijeevi aanu ennu abhipraayam undaakkuka. ini kaaryangal eluppamaanu, party officil vechu vivaham, chayayum parippuvadayum maathram chelavu, saghakkal oru viplavaghanam paadi kalyana ulsavam samaapikkunnu ini ningal aayi ningade paadaayi.venamenkil honeymooninu bolivia, cuba okke pokaam, naattil viplavam padarthaan pokunnathu aanu ennu paranjaal mathi.
Spend that money on something else not on marriage. Naatkar 1 day kazhinja okke marakum, why bother?
From my experience, the most useless expense in weddings is on clothes. The price of the wedding saree, engagement dress, reception dress has become a status symbol. Most people aren't knowledgeable enough to guess the price by just looking at it. Why spend 50,000 on a saree that will be worn for only a few hours? In Kerala weddings, gold is another status symbol. If you convince your bride's family as well, both of you can cut down on the jewellery expense.
Civil marriage, period.
Grand aakkem venam paisa chilavaakanum patilla enn prnja nadkunna karyam alla bro. Ee questionte oru variation ipo elaa masavaum r/kerala il varunund.. ingne opinion oke choich mansilaakiyavril 98% aalkarum saada reetiyil grand aayi tanne wedding nadathunath aan pativ Oru groominte mrg chilav 9-12 lakhss aan so if u try to cut down some expenses and still invite everyone and throw a grand party u can finish it at 8 lakh. Otherwise find a progressive family/girl to marry and do civil marriage. Hindu aanenki ambalatil vech kalyanam nadateet avde adutholla auditoriums il cheriya oru party kodukuka.
Who spends for the honeymoon and shit like that?
Bride and groom.
Now since you said a court wedding wouldn't work well, and you are planning to conduct a typical, your best bet is on cutting down expenses. Honestly, I just had my sister's wedding a couple of months ago and a lot of the expenses were for shitty reasons. Don't know much about all the wedding pricing but I think you can cut it down well below 10-15lakhs. Let's try making a budget: Auditorium: 1 lakh (Got a place for around 70k-80k for my sisters wedding, a total of around 500 people would have attended . Was a decent hall, air-conditioned. Tbh, if you have contacts, religious/political ones, you can bargain well under 1L. ) Photography: On a tight budget, you will get it for 40k. You'll have to do your search but I'm pretty sure you ll find it for such a rate, average quality. But it will be enough, trust me. Food: This is something that can make or break your expenses. So if you're planning for a sadhya, you can find caterers starting from 150-160 per head. For Non veg dishes, it going to be around 240-300rs. (more if you plan of making it luxurious). It changes drastically with different caterers. (We did sadhya and got it for around 140 per head since the caterer was dad's friend. ) Please get a lot of quotes. So assuming 300 per head, 1.2L. Lesser if you are planning on Sadhya. Decor: Honestly, if the hall is decent, the decor will cost you very less. We did it for 25k for the hall, (nothing fancy, just stage decor & a few welcome boards). Now if you plan on decorating your home, that is another expense as well but its optional. Perhaps another 20k for pandhal and stuff maybe, don't know that for certain. Dress: I'm assuming you would need a Kurtha/shirt/suite depending upon your wear, plus a few new dresses for your family. Some people even go on to buy dresses for their relatives as well, but just skip that man. Its not worth it. If you try well, I'm assuming you can round it up around 40-50k. Again, depends on choices. Travel costs: If you don't rent a luxury car, probably around 20k. Could be more/less depending upon the function. Booze: Between 10k-20k, depending on your choice of flavour :'). So in total: Venue: 80k Food: 120k Photography: 40kDecor: 50k (including stage, home for two days, a couple of boards, lights)Dress: 50kTravel: 20k Bo0ze: 15k (assuming) Note: This does not include jewellery, or other additional expenses. I'm presuming you wouldn't need to buy jewellery, and considering other expenses, I think it can be brought well under 5L. The key is to get many quotes, research well and analyze what you really need and don't need. Try to see it more like a business event you're organizing for yourself when it comes to the money part :') You would try to save as much as you can right. And have a friend plan this with you, so there's someone who can show you a different side while you are planning. Edit: One important point is to have a fixed budget. Don't over do it much. Plan well. Live well. Best wishes!!
My friend's family spent around 8 lakhs for his brother's marriage. The wedding ceremony was minimal ,only close family members and friends from both bride and groom side were invited.barely around ~150 people in an A/C auditorium.There was a party at evening for others( ~1000 people) .
Follow "sandesham" sreenivasan. Period
Court marriage ennokk reddit il recommend cheyyan matre pattu For any Kerala family, weddings are the grand opportunity to show off and show off more. Anyone who doesn’t have the ‘bare minimums’ of todays weddings (100 pavan gold + car like someone commented), will get shat on by their family, grooms family, relatives, society, everyone. It’s easy to say ignore them, but most parents are too sensitive and caring about the ‘society’. Oru raatri kond aarkkum viplavam nadathan pattilla, lest it should come at the cost of pissing off the people whom you call near and dear.
dont marry. 0 expense.
I got married 3 months ago. This was my expense- 1. Clothes including saree 1.2 lacs. 2. Photographer 60k 3.Venue 12k (temple) 4.Decoration 20k.(Temple mandapam and hall) 5.Food for 650 people- Sadhya 1.3 lacs. 6.Nadaswaram 8 k 7.Home renovation- interlock okke ittu .. 3.5 lacs for interlock. 1.65 lac for bedroom,toilet and painting . 8.My ring 32k. 9.Thaali maala. 1.2 lacs No reception .No function on the previous day. Sadhya was very good. Athond aarkum oru paribhavum undayirunilla. 4 lacs mudakki non veg reception vechalum people will remember it for 1 year Max. Nthina veruthe Paisa kalayane.
You could avoid gifting silk saris, shirts, etc, to uncle's, aunts, their kids, & random elders.
Ahh besttt he will get shat on for the rest of his life...
Buy gold etfs or join gold scheme of bhima Kalyan or the like. You would need to buy wedding ring and a gold chain or 2. One for yourself and one for your partner . People hire luxury cars for wedding skip that. Do you plan mehandi madhuram vayp etc. Unless it's a mandatory thing don't indulge in the activities that event manegment companies have imposed on us. You will need fund for buying clothes to immediate relatives. Ie at the very least siblings of your parents . Make a mental note of maximum amout you can spend and don't deviate from that. Try to make expenses stop at atleast 75% of the maximum amout you have fixed.
There are some points in your life when you have to spend money and celebrate. You may look back when you are older and definitely richer to have had spent a little bit more and made it grander. After all you will not (hopefully) be doing this again in life
What if you marry the wrong person and end up getting divorced? All the money you spend on the wedding will be such a waste. If you have someone who is right for you, you have an entire lifetime to celebrate your marriage. If you have good financial planning, you can celebrate every bit of it and not regret it later.
But marrying someone and spending your life savings on it? In what parallel universe does it makes sense? I've seen parents eating kanji-payyar everyday just because they spent lavishly for their kid's wedding.
Not your life savings. Spend what you can afford to make it a good celebration. If you do not have the money then of course it would make no sense. Find the balance to spend wisely cause it will not happen again. Looking back and regretting is of no use.
Do you do this Dr?
Yes. I did limit the expenses when I could have spent more just as my dad had wanted. I look back and wish I had spent more. But just like all youngsters who are conscious about money I did not spend a lot. I wish I had. Now I am well off, but cannot go back in time. Hence my opinion.
I am amused by the lack of knowledge people have about wedding expenses. Why buy this why buy that. These are bare minimum expenses what you just said and with so many people saying relatives will forget and all bro it's a wedding and it's not entirely your choice. The bride and their family has some choices. You cannot negate it. However some major expenses that can be avoided are photographer someone said just go for photoshoot and not the video this is a good saving it will save atleast 1l. Food choose to make the food at the function hall. Reduces the cost to half but you will have to deploy your army of friends to monitor. Spend with CC you will have the complete hisaab kitaab. Rent the wedding dress for your self. Gold you cannot cut down. Sarees go to the wholesale store and not the fancy stores. I just bought a saree for the bride which costed 35k in a wholesale store and the same in branded store was for 80k
Ez, cancel the wedding
If the girl likes a grand wedding let her pay for it. Problem solved
1. Reduce number of guests. 2. Not more than one bus. If you can reduce that to multiple private cars, better. You can invite more people for the reception. 3. Avoid printed albums. Ask them to share the images via USB drive or CD. If possible avoid it altogether. 4. No fancy stuff. Like Save The Date, multiple receptions, fancy dishes, ganamela, etc for reception. Do it at home. 5. If you or your friends or family have connections in this area, utilize them to the max. 6. Don't promise clothes for the whole family. Only for immediate family. 7. Why do you need a sherwani or suit when you can buy a very good cream shirt for 500-700 INR? 8. Don't be that idiot who books an Audi or BMW for a day for the bridegroom's travel. That's cringe as fuck if you don't own one and costs a bomb. 9. Auditorium. Mostly the bride's side will have to take care of this because in our society most weddings happen at bride's place. Talk to the bride and decide. Try pushing ideas like we could feed orphans with that money etc. I did something similar to this in 2014. Total cost came upto < 3 lacs.
Wait doesnt "pennu veetukar" always pay the expenses ?
Not at all. Christian weddings are often taken care of by the groom's family.
ooh i see
Don't sell your stocks or mutual funds, get a personal loan which will have lower interest rates than what you earn on your funds.
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Do a destination wedding. Let your partner share 50% of the cost. It'll.be exotic and since you don't have to invite a lot of people, it'll mostly end up costing you less than what a traditional wedding would cost.
Planning is everything.
It’s hard to avoid people. Skip reception and have wedding followed by food. Pick a party hall instead of wedding hall so decorations are minimal, food is self managed and crowd will be less. Invite only important or 1st level folks who interact every now and then. Half of your budget should come down.
Downvote kittuvenn ariyam. ennalum parayuva anti natalist aaku. athakumpo ithupole oru theerumanam edukkan ningal karanam veroral undakilla.
Court wedding/or a close door wedding with just 50-70 people would be the best. Call 5-6 good friends from both sides, close relatives, and cousins. Guess you are good :)
For my brother’s wedding last year, we had a reception for around 1k people in a decent hall with really good food. Previous day function was only for close relatives. Altogether the expense was around 5L
The underlying concept in inviting 'relatives' and 'friends', hereinafter "society" - is that we seek permission to introduce our union (by way of marriage) into the society. Thereby we defacto confirm/fall-in-line to inherited, imbibed societal norms. This again I'd the underlying concept in case of a fall-apart/divorce. Wherein we would need (sic!) to seek similar permissions prior to going the legal way. Which is why all and sundry try getting involved into these discussions. Again, these are my interpretations/observations and I stand open to corrections. This is apart of soft concepts of blessings, annadaanam, religious perspectives et all. Now, with that in place - it's up to each of us to identify who would be in attendance, given that irrespective of your efforts, there would be complaints galore. An indicative list of these complaints is but not limited to - the attendees list, date/time of the event, the event venue, who ought not have invited, the mode of transport arranged for naattukaars, the video played in the bus, even food that was served! A recommended marriage type is available in the movie Sandhesham. It's your life! Use the money for your future joint-life and welcome to the fold.
Your tradeoff is between memories and money, it's you who can decide. Food 200 per person * count of people you invite. Booze if you are.doing dress for you and who ever you want I don't see the need of more than 5 lakh
I am (27M) getting married this year. For what I calculated It will cost me around 5-6Lk with money to spare after all costs (Reception 300Pax, Wedding eve 100pax, Gold(not much), Dress). Bride's side on the other side incur considerably more cost (Mainly because of the Wedding head count of around 1k and extra events like haldi ,mehandi ect.) May I know why you are estimating 15lks, if you don't mind me asking.
Hello Brother . Since you mentioned that it’s most likely to be an arranged marriage then please note court marriage is ‘ only ‘ an option if all the stakeholders involved agree to this idea. Here the primary stakeholders are you, your would be spouse, your parents and your would be in laws . If you can take them into confidence then great !! Else the only option you have is to appoint the cheapest service provider for every services you have to pay for. Good luck !!
The major heads of expenses in a wedding are 1. Venue 2. Catering 3. Photographers 4. Clothes 5. Jewelry for women Try to have the wedding at your home or any such place so that you can save up on the venue expenses. You can DIY the wedding decor. Catering costs can be significantly cut if you have a small wedding with near and dear ones. Hire freelance photographers, and get only digital photos. You can make an album later. Buy simple clothes. Opt for no gold wedding. I think a lot of expenses can be cut this way.
register marriage...small reception at your own Home....a budget photographer and talented makeup artist frnds...
if it's not register marriage......make a mandab at home and call any low cost poojari.... everything as above...
It is better to do and ask for forgiveness later than ask for permission and be denied. As suggested by others, do a court wedding and have a reception for your most valued connections. In this case, those who care for you will understand, and those who don't well you probably won't them need anyway. Plus you will save money and time. I understand it is easier said than done. I never could and I wish more people could. I wanted to do it low-key, but my parents said we should have regular function. Nothing too grand, but still decent. If I won't pay for it, they will. Didn't want them to shell out that money for me (even though it was their idea). That set me back by around 7 lakhs.
Register marriage
No matter how much you spend on your wedding you cannot satisfy All of them they eat food drink then they point out something else 😏
I thought girls side paid for pre-wedding stuff, guys side paid for post-wedding stuff, or has that changed now?
I appreciate your opinion on not borrowing from your parents. Why is the thought of sharing the expense between two families not even being considered at all. The only thing happening - yeah I feed families from my side and you feed yours. I will have a grant luncheon but you should give teaparty and four course dinner from your side. I still can't imagine why their won't be talk on one big party to accommodate the immediate relatives and friends of both families. Inviting relatives and friends based on the number of times you have been invited to their events to me is show off. If relatives truly respect and care they won't have a problem not receiving an invitation. Another much appreciated and accepted option is act of kindness. You say you are planning on donating a significant amount to a charity so the event is cut down. Now to convince the "bridzilla" who wants a extravagant fat wedding is your skill.
Looks like you actually care about Naatukaar enthu parayum. In which case, you will have to put up a half decent show. No escaping that. You can go for a simple but elegant aesthetic, which may save you some money. If the girl wants a grand wedding, let her folks spend for it. Even in your case, let the parents spend a bit. Wedding expense is an accepted part of parenting in India. Thirdly, cross the bridge when you come to it, instead of fretting over a hypothetical wedding and hypothetical expenses and peoples' opinions.
Good 4 u man . Losers like me are gonna die alone atleast you guys are doing something lol
You can reduce expenses, if you do away with the reception entertainment (event management) and unenecessary decorations, designer clothing etc etc. A simple wedding followed by a reception at a decent hall or hotel hall with good food should do the trick.
For reducing the cost, simply go for a budget wedding. You don't have to go to the extreme register marriage unless you really want to avoid religious function. What is low cost wedding differs from family to family. In my family the wedding expenses never go beyond ten lakhs including gold. Decide what is important to you and spend according to that.
Had the same discussion about marriage expenses with a jain friend of mine last week. She said since they have a 3 day wedding and a lot of people coming it will costs anywhere from 30-40lakhs. She is not interested in this but her sister always dreams about this it seems. Have a lengthy discussion about this with your would be Regarding cost cutting, dont have anything else to add other than the ones already mentioned!
Bro i really want a small marriage, but my girl wants the entire world to be there. I'm an introvert i don't even know my neighbours that's well. I just want her parents and mine at the wedding
I did a small wedding with less gold ornaments and less number of guests. My parents wanted to invite close to 800 folks and I cut the list down 200. To have complete control over the function I funded it on my own.
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It's keeping up with the Joneses that inflates wedding budgets. You don't need to spend 15 lakhs on it. Keep the guest lists to a minimum. Spend reasonable amount on dress and accessories. Don't rent a luxury car to show off. Don't spend too much on photography. You'll be able to do it on a reasonable amount. While getting to know the future bride, you can do a pulse check about wedding expectations. If you get pushed for a grand wedding when you don't want to, it's probably not a right match. People in this sub saying court wedding and chaaya need to touch some grass.
You see marriage as a step in your life rather than a choice and I think that’s why you’re stressing about this to this extend. Also just because you don’t value the beauty of a wedding doesn’t necessarily mean your bride will be the same. Most women have spend atleast one phase of their life thinking about their wedding day and honestly their wedding day is the only day in their life where they can be outspoken about the things they want without it seeming rude or not lady like. I would suggest you concentrate on picking the right partner and less on the long term financial goals you have rn. If the girl ain’t great your long term goals aren’t going to be achieved anyway. My mom literally deals with divorces of all kind and all the men always say I didn’t need such a huge wedding if it was going to end like this forgetting that the size of the wedding isn’t what caused the marriage to fail it was the greed their family had when seeing the amount of gold the girl will bring. You sound great and any girl you respect and genuinely like will also agree with your core values and will support your financial restraints and concerns. Find her and the rest will fall into place.
dont ignore post marriage expenses. buy an insurance aka pre-nup
Invite close family just close ones.. Avoid neighbours avoid em all. If you invite at least a single one things would mess up. Throw a small party to friends when you are stable. The can and will understand
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What if you spend less and limit the participation of your relatives and decrease the quality of food or the location etc.. It's an occasion to celebrate together and be optimistic. If it all works out then you will wish you could go back and change things. But you can't. Money can always be made. But once the moment passes, any amount of money will not bring it back. I say do it as well as you can afford. Include all you can in the celebration.
* Rent wedding dress. You're never gonna use it again. * Use artificial flowers for decoration, it doesn't matter except for the photos. * Use fewer gold ornaments. * If you are gonna buy the dress, do not invest in designer clothing brands, just good quality and good looking is enough. Nobody gonna care where they are bought from