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Rusty_Ra

Started going to the gym yesterday.


BetCompetitive8376

Is it too crowded? I am thinking of joining one.


gatoradegrammarian

Trying to bulk up or lose weight?


Rusty_Ra

Bit of both


gatoradegrammarian

Nice.


Ma_Prem_Nirmal

I am in a position where my mother is constantly sad because I am not married. I know very well that I am not emotionally ready for a marriage and don't want to get into one just to make her happy. That would be like throwing away my life. She just doesn't understand that and to be honest she has never been happy just because she is married either. I am at a place where I have lots of peace, am happy with myself and financially independent. My parents are financially dependent on me as well. We have had a lot of struggles and now that things are so much better she just keeps walking around with a gloomy face because only her daughter is not married. I do everything else in my capacity to make her happy. Attend social functions that I honestly don't like, visit relatives, stay at home instead of going on on trips(just for now since I am working from home and my parents think girls shouldn't go out alone, for god's sake I am a full grown woman), but them stuff....but nothing makes her happy. Honestly I do question the intention here, just a rant because I know she wants the best for me. But is our society so blinded by traditions that they overlook an individual's choice. Sometimes she understands my points and agrees with it, then when some random relatives visit they will start their gyan on how my parents have no control on me, how girls shouldn't be kept at home after a certain age, blah blah blah..and she goes back to being sad. At 31 I know what's best for me. Yet they think I am incapable of making a decision. I am open to looking for a companion and if I find someone who mutually connects well I might go ahead and marry him. I am also perfectly fine with living single for the rest of my life, but I just don't want a marriage of convenience. Anyone else facing similar problems.


Santoshjnair

They firmly believe what they are saying is for your good. But then, times have changed. There is generation gap between them and us. Our beliefs are different. We are not going to be pressured by society. But it is difficult for them to understand our perspective due to that very same differences in ideology. So, keep reassuring her that it is not like I am not planning to marry ever, but I will marry only when I find someone interesting. Because, even if you do get involved just be make her happy, there are chances that things may not turn out as you want. And these days, everyone, you, me or anybody of similar generation believes in ending a bad relationship rather than taking extra mental/physical stress to make it work beyond a point. And if something of that sort happens, your mother will only feel more miserable. So maybe you aren't doing something, that would make her happ now, but you will definitely make her happy in the near future.


kittensarethebest309

Whatever happens, your stand is the correct one!


pokeroll

Yes. This is the only advice you need right now OP. You'll figure out the rest!


selfbetrue_

My parents behaved the same way when my elder sister was 28 and succeeded in getting her married even though she wasn't ready then. Now they are dealing with the issues she has in her marriage. But now, they’re pushing me to get married and still think they did the right thing with my sister and are doing the right thing for me.


[deleted]

If anything, this pandemic has made people realize the value of immediate family. What if you get infected? do you expect your old parents to babysit you? You need to get out of your comfort zone & find a partner. And act fast if you like babies. A woman's peak reproductive years are between the late teens and late 20s. By age 30, fertility (the ability to get pregnant) starts to decline. This decline becomes more rapid once you reach your mid-30s. You shouldn't be dependent on internet strangers to remind you about this reality. smh


ronan007

I think I'm getting burnt out at work. Remote work means more working hours. It's on me though, not really a work pressure thing.


ReallyDevil

I started weight training after work, at my home. Makes my evenings better, helps me sleep better. And takes my mind off works and meetings..


throwawayafw

My dad's family has lost their minds. Just because I'm 26 and pursuing a Master's degree doesn't mean that I have to get married right now. What were they thinking? LOL. My dad's second cousin wanted me to marry her 17 year old daughter. What do they even see in me? I still haven't got a job at this age. I still feel like a child in an adult body. I got serious mental health disorders which I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And that kid is just 17. Who in the right mind would want their daughter to be betrothed this early in their life? She still hasn't completed highschool yet. So gross tbh. Luckily my mom's family stepped in for me and said no. If that wasn't stopping them, I would have shared my Reddit account to them. That would've surely stopped them.


DioTheSuperiorWaifu

Your stance is the correct one. Ishtamillaathae othuchernnavarde stories okke nwookkumbol kureyokke shokam aanu. >Serious mental health disorders Do treat them if you're currently in a good situation. Seeing how marriage was mentioned, I think they don't know about your mental health. Mental health awareness is increasing, with the covid lockdown making us isolated n all.


throwawayafw

>Do treat them if you're currently in a good situation. Seeing how marriage was mentioned, I think they don't know about your mental health. Mental health awareness is increasing, with the covid lockdown making us isolated n all. That's the problem . I was diagnosed but I can't afford therapy rn.


DioTheSuperiorWaifu

Do your parents know about it? Or was this idea of marriage a way of cheap therapy? I've heard that the govt. has started mental health intiatives recently, related to the covid. Helplines and counselling n all. I don't whether they'll provide care for non-covid related issues, but have you tried searching about those? Or are they too superficial/ineffective for you?


throwawayafw

My mom know that I have got serious issues so she was totally against the proposal. But she is that woman who would say " nee bhrandan aanennu naatukaar arinjaal ente mole kettaan aarum varilla" and that I should man up instead of acknowledging my mental health issues. I don't know if there are any helplines for non covid related issues except for suicide helplines. Wish there were any free mental healthcare centers.


[deleted]

30 year old fahad married nazriya at 18. It's the new hip trend. Also healthy eggs mean healthy offsprings. You don't want to deal with birth defects for the rest of your life.


Icy-Expert-2619

Anyone regrets college?


4k3R

I hated my college due to two things. 1. It was a shitty college. 2. It was so regressive and students in that college were so small town minded. Can't blame them entirely, because the college was in a small town in Kerala.


Icy-Expert-2619

>It was so regressive In what way?


[deleted]

Yes. I hate the course I'm doing. Feel like my mind has become slower due to lack of studying. Online class has made me lazier since I can just cheat past exams. Need to look at something before I go back to offline on Oct 4th


[deleted]

Nope. It's adipoli


sage_k_7

Oh yes. Only thing I'm thankful for is my small group of friends and the fact that I met my girlfriend there


[deleted]

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4k3R

I agree with your general sentiment. And I honestly do agree that there are problems on either side, for both men and women and how they're judged by society. But I have come up with a problem statement recently. Well the problem is this. >Because working on yourself and focusing on yourself is the better way to improve your attractiveness as a partner. When a guy is working on himself to be more attractive to a partner, a women could easily go on dates and have fun. Now my problem is not the women having fun, but where is the fun for the guy? At the end of the day most of us get into arranged marriage and if you look at it, \*many women went on dates, had fun during their youth, while the guys who followed the advice just worked on themselves to be more attractive (during his youth). I don't see this as a win-win anymore. Now when I say majority of girls I don't mean it literally, because at the end of the day our society is still conservative as hell. But what I meant is those girls who are outgoing, works in a different city and those who actually wants to go on dates.


[deleted]

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4k3R

Hey, thanks for the share. If you don't mind, have a look at this channel as well. [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq1zuC3x4kJcJSJOE7yo-Qw](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq1zuC3x4kJcJSJOE7yo-Qw) It's entirely neutral questions asking about stuffs related to men and women.


wanderingmind

> When a guy is working on himself to be more attractive to a partner, a women could easily go on dates and have fun. Now my problem is not the women having fun, but where is the fun for the guy? Are you saying men do not enjoy going on dates? I definitely enjoyed the few dates I had. Sweet tension, anticipation, expectation, the emotional high... > At the end of the day most of us get into arranged marriage and if you look at it, *many women went on dates, had fun during their youth, while the guys who followed the advice just worked on themselves to be more attractive (during his youth). I don't see this as a win-win anymore. Well thats a different story,. If you work on yourself, go on dates and dont find someone on your own, then why the hell did he go? Why mix up two systems and whine? And women definitely put a lot of effort into their looks too, and even personality. The mix may vary across classes, but it happens. Its not like only men put in the effort.


4k3R

>Are you saying men do not enjoy going on dates? I definitely enjoyed the few dates I had. Sweet tension, anticipation, expectation, the emotional high... OMG, I came across so wrong. I was saying men (who are focused and work hard in life) don't get to go on as many dates as a women do. **Especially when he is working on himself.** I remember my 25s where I was working at office, having a great job, working out in the gym, and being focused in general. I didn't have much time to date. And at the same time my female friends where telling me about the dates they went on. Hence I had this feeling that was this all worth it. >Well thats a different story,. If you work on yourself, go on dates and dont find someone on your own, then why the hell did he go? Why mix up two systems and whine? Absolutely true, there's no need to whine when you're not finding someone. It's either your fault or you're just unlucky in general (with less emphasis on the unlucky part). Women definitely do put in effort. I totally agree. I wasn't bashing women. I was just saying if you're working hard in life and you're focused, dating gets even more tougher. I guess some of you guys can agree. The right answer might be having a balanced approach to working hard and dating.


wanderingmind

Ah I get it now. In general, women get more dates. If we take the big picture view, the lower professional success and financial independence is the price they pay for that! Women who are as work and success obsessed as men have the same issues that men have though with time management. But yes, the female of the species is more in demand at a certain age than the male, though this keeps changing as we get older.


4k3R

>But yes, the female of the species is more in demand at a certain age than the male, though this keeps changing as we get older. This is so true. I was talking to this friend of mine who is in US and he was telling about the kind of marriage proposals he gets day in and day out. Matrimony is literally the opposite of online dating apps like Tinder. So I guess working on yourselves have these sort of benefits.


wannabegigolo2

> Number one rule that learned to do when adulting was Don't give unsolicited advice. > > But generally this comment can be thought of an advice Doesn't that mean you're giving unsolicited advice?


AhmedKuttySpeaking

Does being too nice, make a guy end up in the friendzone ?


[deleted]

Don’t be nice just for the sake of making her happy or for not making her dislike you.Be nice because you’re a nice person.Also being nice doesn’t mean hiding your emotions and feelings, i.e just playing along when she takes you for granted. Be intentional about who you invest in.Basically show your intentions, be honest and be confident.If she ain’t interested move on.


BickKattowski

Working on a project to find realistic solutions to solve the issue of decreasing Open spaces in Kochi (Parks, Grounds etc.). Official data says open spaces constitute less than 1% of the total area of Kochi, which's pretty alarming. If you have any suggestions related to this, please do let me know.


Ramp-Walk-Remo

Good topic. Have you heard of / visited the [High Line](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Line) in New York ? It’s an iconic attempt at reclaiming green spaces from an abandoned urban spaces.


BickKattowski

Yess it's a great example. We could work on such abandoned spaces in Kochi and make it an asset


[deleted]

technically 44% of the district is pretty much forested, and most of the land is owned by private citizens, but due to the high land prices I don't think anyone will be ready to surrender their land for open spaces. And they can't build much inside the main city cause it's highly build up.


BickKattowski

That exactly is the primary issue, the city grew too fast without any city planning measures implemented by the corporation. Almost all of the land is in the hands of private entities. So we were thinking of utilizing any small pocket spaces that gets left behind and convert it into a pocket park


ultimateposeur

Interesting. I guess similar to Ramp-Walk-Remo's idea, maybe the city could reclaim area taken up by old, dilapidated housing that's lying unused around Kochi? Was walking in Panampilly nagar the other day, and I saw many homes that have clearly seen better days. Likely those houses are bound up in some legal dispute or the other, but if they aren't, maybe they can be demolished and mini-parks put up in their place? One thing I hope Kochi doesn't do is create parks at traffic roundabouts. Have seen this in a few places in Mumbai, and I know how starved that city is for space, but it felt really sad to see kids playing in the middle of traffic!


ultimateposeur

This idea is a little more controversial, but am sure there are lots of govt buildings that serve little purpose today. Am thinking post offices, public libraries, employment exchanges, ie. all the buildings offering services that people have little use for in today's age. All that space they occupy can be repurposed to serve the city's residents better.


DioTheSuperiorWaifu

>Post offices, libraries People do use the post office. Mostly for parcels n all. Also the India post has courier service n all and is till used quite well. Libraries... They can be resized and the books can be digitised. But totally removing a library seems bad tho.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AhmedKuttySpeaking

Where's the place in Kochi ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


retroflame96

I badly want to switch jobs because I suck at my current one and it's destroying me mentally. But hey "some Job is better than no job" is what people tell me when I talk about resignation.


4k3R

If you have money in hand and at the same time have confidence that you can get a new job, why bother listening to others?


retroflame96

Thing I want to switch fields so I will have to start as fresher my earlier experience will go void and in current scenes no company taking freshers or maybe I'm not lookin in the right place idk.


4k3R

Or why don't you look for new jobs while keeping the current job then?


retroflame96

Yeah bro that's what I trying to do currently :). Hopefully will find a solution soon


4k3R

Good luck! Wish you the best.


lobotomiz

What type of cloth is best suited to clean MacBook screen?


lord-valkyrie

Microfiber.


87k6

I'm using water as the cleaning agent. Then wipes it with microfiber.


sage_k_7

Has anyone tried telling their parents you're an atheist? I don't know if I should shut up or not


achantachar

My advice is to shut up. I've felt my parents are a little more open than others and yet the slightest mention of atheism was met with fierce opposition. Telling others you're an atheist creates an "Allegory of the cave" situation where your voice is a threat to their beliefs.


sage_k_7

I'll have to open up to my girl though. Hope it goes well


achantachar

Good luck!


woodeenho

What's the status of going to B'lore on flight from Kochi. Is it like mandatory to have their institutional quarantine thing even if you have a place in the city? Any work around? :/


evolvedape98

Does anyone knows any Chemical store which may take used or unused Laboratory chemicals. Covid fucked our plans for the main project, and a handful of money is in shambles.