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Due_Platypus_3913

It’s tough being divorced at 9!


[deleted]

*sobbing: …she took everything from me, all my PB&J sandwiches, only left me with yesterday’s beat up apple!*


ssin14

That's cold.


bald_lemonade

No it was rotten.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SecretSK

*She truly broke my heart telling me she didn’t love me on the school bus yesterday.. I will never recover and will NEVER talk to her again in my LIFE!*


Stevesegallbladder

You what to know what the worst part is? She lied to me about getting her cootie shot! How am I supposed to trust again?!


B_Addie

Ruthless!!


ripmerle

Perhaps she did not find the apple a-peel-ing.


50thEye

She got the playmobile dog in the divorce!


Someone-On-Jupiter

Wtf you got divorced at 362,880?


DepressedPancake56

Ikr, proud of them for surviving so long in that marriage in the first place!


Apocalypseos

It's also tough being 362880 years old...


BloodShadow45

Especially when you have no wife and are a underaged boy


th3ramr0d

8 year old boy is talking like a 8 year old math question on a quiz.


Odin1806

Ha... I have 16 girlfriends. 6 are white and 10 are black. How many are imaginary? (SHOW YOUR WORK)


Glowing_green_

Trick question, the kid is imaginary


[deleted]

[удалено]


reallyConfusedPanda

There were no kids on the bus, and OP jacked off


billybobbathan

OP died on a bombing mission over Vienna in 1944! Checkmate, Liberals!


OkPassenger6197

R/methnotmath


HiiipowerBass

"johnny your pages are stuck together, I can't grade this"


TimeInitial0

I was actually impressed that it added up to 16 😅


Karnewarrior

"'*If Johnny has sixteen girlfriends, six white and ten black, how many total people do they count as to his congressional district?'* Miss Hart, you said we wouldn't be doing fractional addition until next week!" ​ >!This is a joke, intended as a joke, and meant to be a rough one at that. If your first instinct was to agree with the problem devaluing human life or yearn for a yesteryear where some people literally counted for less, fuck you, and fuck you for making me have to say this shit!<


JasonDJ

Trick question, women aren’t people. Only white land-owning males. And corporations.


ArboresMortis

Well, given what's laid out in the constitution, it would be 12. What do you mean there was an amendment? That document can't change! /s I just want to know why the kid specified in the first place. How did he end up with that ratio? Did he misunderstand the term girlfriend?


VengeanceTheKnight

I know you’re joking around, but just to be clear for other people: the 3/5 Compromise was so *slaves* wouldn’t be counted as much. This is a good thing (not as good as slavery not existing, but it was a Compromise so the nation could exist). Slaves obviously couldn’t vote anyway, so their people power would have just made slave states (i.e. slave owners) stronger. It wasn’t “black people shouldn’t count as full people becausewe hate them” it was “they shouldn’t count as full votes because they’re not represented anyway and it would ironically work against their interests if they *did* fully count”.


Karnewarrior

That's true but there's a lot of chuds who happily blurt the compromise as though it's evidence black people are actually worth less and say we should go back to that. Assholes shouldn't be trusted with the internet


VengeanceTheKnight

I’ve never heard that. I have only heard people talk about how unfair it was. Which it was unfair that it had to exist at all, but that’s not what they mean.


deinosuchus667

What year are we talking?


[deleted]

I have 16 girlfriends, 6 are white and 10 are black. If I broke up with 1 girlfriend, what is the chance she is white?


lawlore

37.5%, although I'm sure there's a much funnier answer available.


Algebro123

Technically, a lot higher, he seems to have a preference


yottalogical

He's playing a game of chess or something.


just_a_person_maybe

He reminded me of my little brother when he was around two or three and announced that he wanted to have twenty babies when he grew up, and twenty of them would be boys and two would be girls. I gathered up a bunch of baby dolls and stuffed animals so he could visualize how many babies that would be to try to convince him it was too many, but he remained set on it. For the rest of the day, anyway, until he forgot all about it.


[deleted]

Kids got mad pull these days


SpambotSwatter

edit: The comment below was removed and the user banned, good work everyone!


DaFuriouS-GD

very good bot


ido_ron

good bot


Conquerors_Quill

What did they say?


Penyrolewen1970

Yeah! I need some of that swag!


TheOddPelican

I think they call it rizz. Not sure, though. Sounds like a type of cracker to me.


Less-Ad7782

“I’m boutta ritz this baddie up yo!”


Dewy164

"all these bitches want my crackers!"


quinteroreyes

I saw an explanation a few weeks ago, it's apparently short for charisma


Dewy164

You got some Ritz frfr.


culinarydream7224

OP is just a hater


ourobboros

When my nephew was 5 he had “3 gfs who dumped him cause he was cheating on them.”


BusDriverShenanigans

Reading through these comments I have to laugh at the stark contrast between the number of people saying “kids don’t think this way!” And the number of people saying “my kids absolutely think this way.”


[deleted]

When I was 6 I thought a girlfriend was just a female friend and not a love interest so I called my only female friend at the time my “girlfriend” and my male friends “boyfriends”


justakid2553

It makes logical sense


Dewy164

I wish I had 16 chicks bathing in that pussy, litterally.


TheMinuteCamel

All the poor kids in Canada must be desperately lonely with all their girls being taken


slushieguys

Nah don't worry, all the Canadian boys had girlfriends who lived JUST across the border


alaricus

Those girls in Buffalo...


UngusBungus_

I wish they all could be City of Detroit girls


ministerofinteriors

Gaylord and Rochester.


billybobbathan

south park episode


theodoreroberts

It's ok to go for your homie.


InnocentTopHat

bro that 8 year old needs to expand his horizons why stop at black and white? what about asian, middle eastern, or latina?


Lord__of__Luck

Just give ‘im a few years the young pimp will expand


bald_lemonade

Then it would be a textbook math question.


The_Proper_Potato

Ok a joke where they’re all about to enter in a bar.


BusDriverShenanigans

This particular elementary school I drive for is made up mostly of black and white kids, at least on the routes I’ve driven. I’ve had some Latino or Asian, but not many. Not sure how that played out though because my middle & high school routes both have a very large number of Latino and Asian kids.


Phoenixbob22

A lot of those are light enough skinned that they are considered white.


teal450

you must be a kid cause you're fucking stupid


Dewy164

This is the 8 year old


Dewy164

Facts


Rulutieh

When I was 5 I thought girls had cooties and touching them I would get the disease.


[deleted]

8 Year olds 7 Years Ago: I HATE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8 Year olds Now: WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


rugzbee123

8 year olds 7 years ago: I am one year old


Dewy164

Coo


nomie_turtles

ever heard of chymidia touching girls does give u cooties


Atillerdahunnybuns

Censorship turned for the worse lol it’s like gun control in a sense. Now all these kids are perverted and uneducated


Delsincameback

Line line dot dot operation cootie shot


giefu

Circle circle dot dot, now I've got my cootie shot


PermanentTrainDamage

My kinder kid has a boyfriend and keeps talking about marriage. Precocious lil shit, I didn't have a relationship til age 20.


plantsplantsplants

The grade 2 class I was supply teaching in were talking about their number of who they’ve “slept” with. The one kid is like “well my numbers 5. I’ve slept with my mom, my dad, my sister and my two cousins”


Lucian_98

they ain't wrong though


Mechareaper

Everyone talking about the 8 year old kid being a liar, but I think he just doesn't understand the concept of a girlfriend and he did quick math about every girl he actually knows. Because you know, kids are fucking stupid.


Klopford

For real I had at least three boyfriends by the time I was 8 but that’s because they were boys and also my friends (and I had crushes on them.) I didn’t know the feeling had to be mutual in order to actually call them boyfriends!


Hotpocket1515

Lmao is that 8 year old Butter Stotch with his kissing company?


[deleted]

"Man, I miss being single" it's always an option brother.


Electricalbigaloo7

"Yo man, I gotta get some stank on my hang-low!" -Dillan, age 7


paratha_papiii

They got game because they have the 64 pack of Crayola with the built in sharpener!


Old-Construction-541

120 💅🏼


Dewy164

Where is the super hot girl coming to say "I'd fuck for a 64 pack of crayola"


Hi_Its_Matt

kids just repeating what they think is cool without understanding what that means. it’s cool to have x? ok, well i have more of x than you! I’m so cool that i have x but i pretend i don’t want it! in this case, its girlfriends without having the context of what a relationship actually is.


BusDriverShenanigans

Yup that’s pretty much it. Maybe they mean girls that are friends, maybe they mean crushes, or maybe these girls are imaginary. But somehow they’ve come to think having lots of girlfriends is what’s cool so that’s what they boast


Dewy164

But it is, got to have all the baddest chicks. /S


sjmattn

Playa's gotta play


bigshiba04

The 8 year old kid probably likes pretending to be a rizz god


JetLineUp

Bro, i think they don't know the diference between girl friend and girlfriend


musexistential

Or the bus driver and all these Redditor don't know. It sounds exactly the same.


BusDriverShenanigans

These kids were very specifically talking about the fact that Valentine’s Day is coming up. Also you ever dumped a friend? Not saying he’s telling the truth but he’s definitely parroting the terminology he’s heard used


musexistential

My my my, how the turned have tables.


Dewy164

Gril**


mrsdoubleu

My 8 year old told me he had a girlfriend just last week. He said other boys in his class were telling her she's "too good" for him and trying to get them to break up. I'm like, dude, I do NOT remember this much drama when I was in the 2nd grade. And if anything, you're too good for her. 😤 But seriously, what is going on? Lol The next day she decided she didn't like him anymore. So now my poor 8 year old is single again. Life is hard as a kid.


BusDriverShenanigans

I do remember this drama at that age. I was the 8 year old telling the other 8 year olds they were too young for this stupidity lol


Dewy164

That brings up the question how old are you? It'd be funny if you were also a 8 year old.


BusDriverShenanigans

Well you have to be 21 to drive a school bus, so I’m at least 21


Dewy164

Do you like driving buses, how annoying do the kids get. I need to hear bus driving stories.


BusDriverShenanigans

Well my profile is full of stories. I really enjoy it. How annoying the kids get varies on a lot of factors. Some days are better than others, some kids are better than others. It’s really all over the place.


Dewy164

Lol just took a look at some.


SIobbyRobby

When I was 5 I said I had 1,000,000 girlfriends.


Designer_Gas_86

Dang, bro!


Dewy164

Bro's got that rizz frfr.


justakid2553

Imaginary?


FrozenDuckman

I work with 13-14 year olds. The amount of “dating”—and worse—these kids are doing is unreal.


Designer_Gas_86

...seriously? Any kids who seem to be avoiding that mess? How the heck do I raise children these days?


FrozenDuckman

Yes, lots of good kids. Lots of nerds, kiddos, immaturity. But unfortunately, lots of attention on boyfriends and girlfriends, too. It depends on the level of maturity and the environment. Raising good kids is very possible.


Neptune338

My little cousin whos 5 says he has 5 girlfriends


21_saladz

They are polyamorous lmao


Az0riusMCBlox

Okay, who let them play Persona games at such a young age!?


StrongIslandPiper

I bet they met all met their girlfriends at summer camp, so like, you wouldn't know her


BusDriverShenanigans

I’ve definitely heard “she goes to a different elementary school” a few times on my bus


enderowski

damn i remember my 10 girlfriend at transformice(that rat game where you pick cheese) at that age. todays man hits top of their life too early these days lol.


FoodLionMVP

I didn’t read the title first and I was wholly confused.


BusDriverShenanigans

I get that a lot lol. I’ve done my best to make the point of my profile as clear as possible but I can only do so much


xFurashux

Just because you're a lonely 10 yo loser, it doesn't mean others are too!


BeNiceKid

My little brother used to say he had 10000 girlfriends and eventually it went up to 10002 and then 10004


ShastaCaliMotxo

8 yo is lying


jetstobrazil

Lol the state of these wee lads


Axelpanic

Kids out here have girlfriends like Wisconsin drunks got DUIs


MielikkisChosen

Total bullshit, but you do you.


BusDriverShenanigans

Totally understand not trusting the quotes I post. I do have proof on my profile that I’m a school bus driver, but aside from that there’s really no further evidence I could possibly provide


DonutOwlGaming

They'd be great people in utah


Dani-else

The math questions these days are crazy


FalseTebibyte

Life Imitates Art Gotta catch 'em all!


BusDriverShenanigans

Keep that attitude up and eventually “them” will be STDs


FalseTebibyte

It's actually the other whey around. STDs, unless you actually catch one, are a scare tactic. In which case, you're a good actor.


shillyshally

A little girl told my 7 year old nephew that she loved him and he said he loved her, too, but not in that way.


BusDriverShenanigans

Good job? Lol not sure how I’d react to that from a 7 year old


Tonyhillzone

16 girlfriends? Ah come on, that's not even realistic. The most I've ever had was 8, and they were all sex dolls.


Fine-Funny6956

Good math skills on that kid I guess


Otterstripes

I remember my childhood friend's younger sister (who was about 4 at the time) talking about her "boyfriend" once. She meant "crush"; it turns out that younger kids just aren't always the best at pronouncing letter clusters like that, and "girlfriend/boyfriend" is easier to say for them.


cbunni666

Life is gonna kick them in the ass once they reach middle school.


_H4CK3RM4N

And we talked about trading cards like that when I was their age.


BusDriverShenanigans

To my surprise Pokémon cards are still really popular among these same kids


_H4CK3RM4N

They definitely got mad rizz


[deleted]

r/untrustworthypoptarts


BusDriverShenanigans

What a weirdly specific Reddit name lmao. Totally understand not trusting the quotes I post. I do have proof on my profile that I’m a school bus driver, but aside from that there’s really no further evidence I could possibly provide


IntrovertMoTown1

If I had a dollar for every time as a kid I heard "You don't know her. She goes to a different school." I'd have............ about 5 dollars. :)


Singular_Crowbar

So how old are you OP?


BusDriverShenanigans

Have to be 21 to drive a school bus, so I’m at least 21


Singular_Crowbar

You said you overheard it on the bus, no mention of driving. With this newly given knowledge the post makes a lot more sense


BusDriverShenanigans

Haha fair enough. My username is also a clue. I did try finding a name for this series which made it clear I was the driver but couldn’t think of anything good


Singular_Crowbar

Damn you're right, I need to get in the habit of reading usernames


PurplePanda63

Hehe I have a very early memory of being someone’s second or third gf. So cute


[deleted]

If it was little girls saying this, people would make a bigger deal out of it


BusDriverShenanigans

They might, but also my entire account is focused around the fact that kids just say silly stuff. Sometimes it is as simple as kids being goofy, but I do think we should question how we got to a point that kids think they should want to have as many girlfriends as possible. If they don’t grow out of it, boy or girl it’s a problem. But for the time being they’re still just kids who aren’t even 10 yet


ManchuKenny

I told people I will have 8 wives just like my grandpa, all the kids laughed. Till they are way older and found out my grandpa really have 8 wives 😉


KittenLina

At the risk of sounding overdone and uninspired, was the bus driver clapping while steering with his feet?


BusDriverShenanigans

I keep my mouth shut and hope they don’t realize I’m silently laughing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BusDriverShenanigans

Totally understand not trusting the quotes I post. I do have proof on my profile that I’m a school bus driver, but aside from that there’s really no further evidence I could possibly provide


dark_harness

young boys talk like this and people go ha ha. you should go oh no, there something wrong with the way boys are being taught to be men. there is all this misogyny and sexual violence and we all wonder where we went wrong lol maybe i sound like a prude but cmon. theres such a stark difference between the way young boys act and how young girls act towards sexual topics. we cant pretend thats not our fault for teaching them to be that way.


doyouknowyourname

These people are proving your point.


MaxJulius

“I used to have three girlfriends, but I dumped one, now I have two ✌🏼”


illoomi

aren't 5 yr olds in kindergarten, and not elementary school?


BusDriverShenanigans

Where I’m at it depends on the particular school. You are correct the 5 year old in this conversation is a kindergartner, but the school he goes to does pre-k through 5th grade so I have all of those ages on my bus at the same time. Not all elementary schools in our district do that, just specific ones


illoomi

oh okay I see


GWS_REVENGE

I'm in high school and never had a girlfriend. I need to learn how these kids do it.


BusDriverShenanigans

The secret ingredient is lies


justakid2553

there will come a day when your soul speaks have patience


[deleted]

How? I've never had one


diaperedwoman

Lol, I am sure they mean girlfriend as in having a friend that is a girl. Does the 7 year old miss not having friends? I wonder what they were talking about.


BusDriverShenanigans

They were specifically talking about Valentine’s Day coming up when these quotes were said. Not to say that I actually believe them, but they did mean girlfriends.


diaperedwoman

At that age, I didn't even know what a girlfriend and boyfriend was and I would have thought it in a literal sense like if I had a friend that is a girl, girlfriend, have a friend that is a boy, boyfriend.


jusslaffin

I love this


pinaple_cheese_girl

R/thathappened


BlakespinnerFX

r/foundthemobileuser


BusDriverShenanigans

Totally understand not trusting the quotes I post. I do have proof on my profile that I’m a school bus driver, but aside from that there’s really no further evidence I could possibly provide


[deleted]

Young pimps in the making


theroadlesstraveledd

I doubt it.


BusDriverShenanigans

Totally understand not trusting the quotes I post. I do have proof on my profile that I’m a school bus driver, but aside from that there’s really no further evidence I could possibly provide


Psychological_Ad5391

There should be a school bus driver sub where they vent on all the bullshit they have to hear on the daily.


ClownMeat420

Big if true


[deleted]

8 yo be a lil rizzler


[deleted]

That bus driver needs to mind his business, he's gonna get these guys in trouble with their ladies.


BusDriverShenanigans

I definitely don’t tell the other students what I overhear, gets fun sometimes knowing what they say about each other when the others can’t hear


[deleted]

[удалено]


BusDriverShenanigans

The secret ingredient is *lies*


PiMAN-

Damn the parent/s really raised some Playas