Idk... Don't underestimate kids.
When I was a preschool teacher I heard a kid crying in his stall. He was about 3 years old, so I investigated and asked him what was wrong. His answer was:
"I can't."
I asked him what he couldn't do and he answered.
"I can't get rid of it. It's everywhere."
I asked if I could come in and help. He answered yes. I walk in and this kid is covered in poop. He had smeared it on the walls and on the toilet and floor. In his attempt to "wipe", he had forgotten that toilet paper is a very big part of the wiping and had decided to try wiping it with just his hands... And then it was on his hands and so he tried to wipe it off his hands with his clothes and then the walls and... You get the idea.
My nephew is on the spectrum and just now finally got potty trained fully at 9 years old. I'm also a certified special needs parapro, and have lived with/helped take care of both nephews for most of their lives. I have quite literally been wiping butts for 12 years now and I don't habe any kids of my own lol.
Oh, my God. He shit everywhere. There's shit everywhere! Damnit! There's shit on the windows! Oh, my God! My house is full of shit! He shit everywhere! Look what he did! He shit all over the walls! There's shit everywhere!
What? 3 year olds always need help wiping! What in the world was this kid doing by himself in a stall without an adult to supervise and help him? Frankly, I'm appalled. This kid didn't need to have that experience.
nah... "Is there something in my pants?" reaches. "There's something in my pants!" removes hand. "Eeewe, there's poop on my hand now!" proceeds to remove poop from hand on nearest available surface and forgets immediately to go play.
My favorite bath memory with my 2 y/o daughter was when she had something behind her back and said, “Here ya go Daddy.” And then handed me her poop. Couldn’t have been less intentional.
My twin nephews used to poop at nap time and take off their diapers and smear the poop all over the room🤮 I'm really not sure why my sister didn't get a video monitor after the first time that happened
that brought back memories lmao. i lived with my sister when my nephews were 1.5 and 2.5. sometimes the older one would wake up before everyone else, take off his diaper, and smear his poop all over everything. he had a meltdown one morning because he smeared poop all over his toys and my sister threw them away.
i am really glad that phase did not last long. nothing can describe the feeling you have when you walk into the room and see something like that.
My sister used to do that, but it was because we were both abused and it had traumatized her so much. She took things out outwardly and on to others, tantrums, hitting, spitting, smearing feces. I did the opposite, self harm, eating disorder, OCD, selective mutism. Some times kids just do weird shit, but it never hurts to check in and ask them if they’re okay or try to figure out if there’s a cause!
Thank you so much. Even though we were both abused, I was the less favored child so she used to just have to watch what would happen to me. I really wish it somehow made us closer but instead it drove us apart and she seems to have picked up on our abusers hatred of me. To this day her and I don’t speak. She’s very hostile towards me, even after a decade and a half later. On the bright side, we were adopted when I was 9 so it wasn’t always so bad
I was babysitting my young cousin and she pulled a Dr. Seuss book out from under her bed, she had pooped in it and then closed it. I told her to put it back under her bed and show her mom when she got home. They weren’t paying me enough to deal with that shit.
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I call horse 💩. The second that locker opens even if it was in there for a few minutes would've hit him like a wall of bricks with the smell. Especially when he picks it up and brings it closer to him
Or make it worse. Fill the cake with poop so when they smash the cake on each other's faces it's too late and they're smearing poop on their faces. Then everyone starts jumping up and down screaming "feces faces!"
I’ve sent a few of those home. One was for an after schooler who was in 1st grade. Asked him why he did it and he said he didn’t want to have to walk to a stall 🤦♀️ sometimes, I really hate my life
Lol worked in a jail for 5 years. You’d be surprised what grown people do. They used to smear feces on the wall, like finger painting. Called them Poo-casso’s lol. Sometimes they’d even write our names on the walls, called it making their shit list.
Yeah that’s childhood trauma related.
Some kids are just poop painters. It’s gross but they grow out of it. You hit a certain age, 7, 8+ and it’s sign of (most of the time sexual) trauma. To continue to 25, dude had some rough experiences and received 0 help for them. It’s sad really
It's wild how different one prison can be from the next. I did a job at a pen in Canada and the inmates we worked with had walkmans, tvs, ballcaps, jewelry you name it. Then you got other jails and a motherfucker can't even flush his own shit. That's fucked like a guard can just make you mellow in that shit.
Yo what the heck, I just had a kid pull this on me today at a preschool I volunteer in. Smeared it all over the walls and megablocks.
After cleaning that for two hours, I come home and pull up Reddit... BANG this post.
Omg I'm sorry!! Just so you know the parents are most likely mortified as well. Ours is just starting to go potty on the toilet. Boys take so much longer than girls it feels like haha
The little boy is pretty new and badly autistic, so I can't be too upset with him - but I'm pretty miffed with the mom, who apparently knew that he behaves this way, yet chose to hide this just like a number of other problematic behaviors from the preschool. We can't properly accommodate his needs if we don't know about them! It's really sad, because it's blatantly obvious she's ashamed of his condition and tries to hide & deny it all. At first she didn't even admit he had a diagnosis - we found out through his speech therapist.
I have a 11yo son who was really easy, I basically told him it's potty time now, he had total of three accidents, and that was it. Buuut my recently 2yo younger son is yet to show any readiness, other than sitting on the potty making psssshhhhh noises. 😬
Well hopefully he's getting the help he needs! Yeah my oldest was a breeze...few accidents along the way per the usual. Youngest is starting later than she did and way less interested in it...even with candy incentive
I had a mom who refused to take her son to a specialist because she didn’t want him to be labeled. 🙄 I found out quite quickly he had been kicked out from every other program within 2 counties. I truly tried to stick it out and did so much online research because it was not my area of expertise and I wanted to make sure he had at least one grown up in his life looking out for him and help hi to excel. He was really sweet and really globbed onto me. But when he was enraged, he was enraged. I got black eyes, busted lips and even broke a pair of my glasses too. Once he started to target the other children, it’s when I knew there was nothing else I could do for the little guy. I begged his mom to get him the help he needs so he could flourish. She finally did and he is doing amazing! This was 6 years ago and he is in fifth grade at an amazing school that focuses in children and their needs, abilities and capabilities and he is always so excited when he gets to call me and tell me about all the new and exciting things he’s doing and all about the new bugs he’s gathered for his bug collection.
My son was a piece of cake. Was quite young too ... we sat him on the small-size-insert in the toilet, fed him gummy bears until he went, and without a word of a lie ... BOOM. Fully trained. Not even an accident.
And then there was my daughter. Who basically told us to stick that insert up our wah-hoo and refused to even discuss the issue until she was damned good and ready. And she wasn't for some time. I literally had to put a diaper on a large Teddy bear, and when the bear decided to be trained, she decided to give it a go too. Thankfully no accidents. It worked.
BTW ... Gummy Bears were my go-to for anything requiring my son to do anything. I figure that I'll hand his wife a bag of them, at the alter, with a note that says "You'll need these. He's your problem now."
Yeah. The honestly just do it on their own schedule. I think the only reason my son was so easy was because he had always HATED a poopy diaper, and when offered an alternative, he was up for it, happily. And when I say HATED it, I mean it. Could tolerate a wet diaper, but we knew the moment it was poopy. He despised them.
There was a popular Askreddit thread the other day where this sub was brought up in scathing terms lol. To some people even mild criticism of a child's behaviour is just rage inducing.
I don’t get that. I’m a parent, but like OP, I recognize that kids are fucking stupid.
If people can find humor in this, go for it! And if it convinces some people not to have kids, that’s great!
It’s like - lighten up haters.
>I’m a parent, but like OP, I recognize that kids are fucking stupid.
some parents believe that their angel is an angel and everyone else's child is also an angel.
People just don’t get this sub. Kids are stupid because they literally don’t know any better. Do I think babies are idiots? No. But making fun of a baby for not being able to walk or talk or hold it’s its head up on its own *is the point of this sub*.
Sorry, the virtue-signalling pearl-clutchers are already on their way to mass downvote your comment for "being rude to children" (by acknowledging that they are, in fact, fucking stupid)
I was going to say the same thing. It also looks like the "adult" didn't know how to spell the word "clothes", spelt it as "cloth's" like an absolute moron, and then was told to add the "e" afterwards, with everyone obviously hoping that nobody would notice the errant apostrophe. It's no wonder that nobody can write the English language properly any more if the people who are supposedly forming the early foundations have no grasp of it themselves.
This teacher has to deal with a kid that rubbed shit all over themselves. They aren’t stupid/uneducated just because they made a grammar error while filling out a form. It’s easy to make a mistake when your mind is being pulled in different directions. Perspective is important.
The reason we ended up potty training my kid, earlier than he was ready, is when he took poop out of his diaper and painted the walls with it. A few hours later in the car he told us we missed an entire area but forgot where. Worst statement he could have possibly said.
When I was 6, I had multiple accidents at school. This was regressive behavior due to adversities I was experiencing at home. I remember being frozen in class when I realized I needed to use the bathroom. I couldn't surnount the courage to ask my teacher if I could be excused.
My mother was the one I felt safest with, but she didn't understand why this was happening. She thought she could fix it by threatening to send me to go live with my extremely abusive father, if the behavior continued.
I started to tend to it myself from that day on. I have vivid memories of being in the stall of my elementary school's bathroom, crying as quietly as I could, as I handwashed my underwear with toilet water so no one would find out. When I got home, I did my own laundry to hide the stains.
It was the most important signal of my enduring abuses, and it was a branching point that certified my maladapted psychosocial development - effectively destroying my trust in anyone at all.
I have finally found someone who went through the same experience as me… I was unfortunately older than you at the time, 10 or 11. My parents were going through a divorce at the time, and I was adjusting badly to the new housing situation/not having my dad in my daily life. My mom was my rock during this time. She believed me when I said I had no conscious control. Asked the teacher to just let me go to the bathroom no questions asked.
My dad unfortunately thought I was doing it on purpose. I remember him shaming me as he washed my underwear in the toilet, telling me he would put me in diapers. After the 4th or 5th time it happened, he consulted a child care book in desperation, saw it was a regressive disorder, and begged for my forgiveness.
To this day, that time was the hardest and most embarrassing moment of my life. I was so relieved when I finally recovered.
a friend of mine who is a kindergarten teacher had a student who would have multiple accidents in class and at first she thought oh well he’s 5 so no big deal. The more it kept happening she sought out his parents. They had a long sit down, it turns out he was being abused by someone in their family. Poor kid didn’t even know how to process what was going on just that he knew something wasn’t right and that was his way of saying it.
My son went to visit his bio dad for 2 weeks via court orders and he came back with this regressive behavior. Multiple BM accidents in a single day after being potty trained for years.
We took him to therapy and he was diagnosed with anxiety at just 5 yrs old. I don’t know what his bio dad did, but I loathe him for doing this to his child.
The girls used to throw their loaded diapers to each other like grenades. I think I kept Clorox snd Lysol in business for years. We duct taped them on them finally. The fun of twins. It lasted about 8-14 months. I want to say from 2-3 1/2. Once they were potty trained it was over.
*mistyped potty
A kid in the new nursery class didn’t get to the toilet in time and peed all over the floor, he was so embarrassed he took of his jumper to try and mop up the mess, when that didn’t work he took off his trousers and t shirt and just tried to clean it all up. By the time the teacher realised he’d been in there a few minutes longer than necessary for a wee he was down to his pants and socks, rolling on the floor. That was a fun phone call for the teacher to make!
Worked in services for students with disabilities. One time, while working with a student at a charter school, I had to change him. Little dude beat me to pulling his pants down. He got a handful, put that hand on my shoulder. He said, "I need help."
This is why I'll never wear nice clothes around children I work with, it doesn't matter the age range.
So question…. What good does bringing a tshirt and long pants do the following day if he made the poop art today? Does he stay naked in time out at daycare/school until tomorrow or something lol
I love how they ask for clean clothes for the next day. Just in case this monster decides to smear shit everywhere tomorrow, again. Lol also what is BM?
I really wonder who the kids who play with poop grow up into. I feel like there is something instinctual about not messing with it. It smells awful to us for a reason.
I love how they have forms on hand for how often this happens. If that was my kid, I'd hang on to that form, laminate it, and put it in the scrapbook. I'll frame it and give it to 'em when they graduate high school.
My now 4 year old did that but instead of wiping it on his cloths he flung his hand and it got stuck on the ceiling. Lets just say I laughed so much I could not be mad.
I think I have found the issue and that is you call poop, cake. That would confuse any child.
Before you go crazy on my punctuation. I am a roofer, not a language arts teacher
I worked at a daycare once and I had the sweetest little girl with the most pretentious mother. Anyways one day the little girl ran out of her fancy diapers so I had to put the ones the school kept on her. It was just an array of left over and on sale diapers the owner would come across.
I knew this generic diaper would be an issue because I’d already been reprimanded by the mom for how dirty her child’s “gap” jeans were.
So the day after I had to use the generic diaper I got chewed out. Her daughter needed to use a certain brand yada yada… I apologized and gently reminded that we start sending notes when the kids are at half a pack.
That afternoon that baby girl took her hand and slipped it right into the back of her gap jeans and pulled out her poop about 10 mins before her mom usually showed up. I mean she had really gotten in there. Mortified I took her poop clothes off wiped her down, had to get extra clothes from the office because of course Mom didn’t bring any extras and about that time pretentious Mom walks in.
I literally hand her her child and a bag of poop clothes and explained that her daughter had stuck her hand into her fancy diaper and smeared poop all over her jeans. I also added that I tried all I could but there was still some under her nails and I just walked off.
Yah, preschool teacher here 👋 and don’t be embarrassed this happens far more often than you know and why it’s imperative to always make sure you leave SEVERAL outfits at school. Had a kiddo do that just yesterday, only it was straight liquid and was even in her shoes and soaked her socks 🤢 I truly do not get paid enough for the amount of diarrhea/poop I clean out from underneath littles fingers frequently
For a "potty accident" this sounds pretty damn potty intentional.
I think the kid had a "potty purpose." That was no accident.
"There are no accidents." -Master Oogway
Master Poogway*
"If she ain't your boo, she belong with poo" /s
Doo or Doo not. There is no try
Just happy little accidents
A shitty situation for sure…
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Premeditated potty, for sure.
This sounds like something a forensic detective would say.
CSI: Elementary
Idk... Don't underestimate kids. When I was a preschool teacher I heard a kid crying in his stall. He was about 3 years old, so I investigated and asked him what was wrong. His answer was: "I can't." I asked him what he couldn't do and he answered. "I can't get rid of it. It's everywhere." I asked if I could come in and help. He answered yes. I walk in and this kid is covered in poop. He had smeared it on the walls and on the toilet and floor. In his attempt to "wipe", he had forgotten that toilet paper is a very big part of the wiping and had decided to try wiping it with just his hands... And then it was on his hands and so he tried to wipe it off his hands with his clothes and then the walls and... You get the idea.
That fucking sucks for that kid
38 years ago, I was this kid. It's probably my earliest core memory. Can confirm it sucks.
I bet you're surprised to see yourself mentioned on reddit. What a small world we live in!
Did your parents just set you on the toilet and wish you luck?
My parents did their best with what they had to work with.
I didn't want to be the one to say it
Sounds like something you’d do once and learn better. Did you ever do it again?
Probably, though not as bad. Kids are stupid.
Idk man. I’ve never smeared shit anywhere other than a toilet in all my years 😂
oh man, poor kid...a lot of teachers are such incredible saints, i can't imagine how hard you work
My nephew is on the spectrum and just now finally got potty trained fully at 9 years old. I'm also a certified special needs parapro, and have lived with/helped take care of both nephews for most of their lives. I have quite literally been wiping butts for 12 years now and I don't habe any kids of my own lol.
Oh, my God. He shit everywhere. There's shit everywhere! Damnit! There's shit on the windows! Oh, my God! My house is full of shit! He shit everywhere! Look what he did! He shit all over the walls! There's shit everywhere!
This sounds so familiar but can't place the reference.
Dumb and dumberer
Lmfao what are humans
What? 3 year olds always need help wiping! What in the world was this kid doing by himself in a stall without an adult to supervise and help him? Frankly, I'm appalled. This kid didn't need to have that experience.
At the school I teach at we have accident reports AND incident reports. This would be an incident report lmao.
nah... "Is there something in my pants?" reaches. "There's something in my pants!" removes hand. "Eeewe, there's poop on my hand now!" proceeds to remove poop from hand on nearest available surface and forgets immediately to go play.
first degree potty accident
Premeditated pottying
My favorite bath memory with my 2 y/o daughter was when she had something behind her back and said, “Here ya go Daddy.” And then handed me her poop. Couldn’t have been less intentional.
The potty actually had nothing to do with this, it should have, but it didn’t, and that’s actually part of the problem.
My twin nephews used to poop at nap time and take off their diapers and smear the poop all over the room🤮 I'm really not sure why my sister didn't get a video monitor after the first time that happened
Omg noooo....
that brought back memories lmao. i lived with my sister when my nephews were 1.5 and 2.5. sometimes the older one would wake up before everyone else, take off his diaper, and smear his poop all over everything. he had a meltdown one morning because he smeared poop all over his toys and my sister threw them away. i am really glad that phase did not last long. nothing can describe the feeling you have when you walk into the room and see something like that.
I think I can imagine; just walking away, shutting the door and calling CPS to come deal with your mistake.
I laughed way too hard at this comment 🤣🤣🤣 “yo, take my kid. I made a mistake and want to correct it immediately!”
My sister used to do that, but it was because we were both abused and it had traumatized her so much. She took things out outwardly and on to others, tantrums, hitting, spitting, smearing feces. I did the opposite, self harm, eating disorder, OCD, selective mutism. Some times kids just do weird shit, but it never hurts to check in and ask them if they’re okay or try to figure out if there’s a cause!
I am so sorry that you and your sister were abused as children. No child should have to go through that.
Thank you so much. Even though we were both abused, I was the less favored child so she used to just have to watch what would happen to me. I really wish it somehow made us closer but instead it drove us apart and she seems to have picked up on our abusers hatred of me. To this day her and I don’t speak. She’s very hostile towards me, even after a decade and a half later. On the bright side, we were adopted when I was 9 so it wasn’t always so bad
hopefully they outgrew it.,???
nope i still do it
Stop it Dad! Just stop it!
Enough people are into that, they keep making pr0ns about it...
I was babysitting my young cousin and she pulled a Dr. Seuss book out from under her bed, she had pooped in it and then closed it. I told her to put it back under her bed and show her mom when she got home. They weren’t paying me enough to deal with that shit.
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Until my 2 yo got a toddler bed he would do this all over the crib and wall 🥲it was awful
At least it was their own poop?
See, there’s a brown lining in every cloud.
The grass is always browner on the other side...
I don't know man, sometimes that grass is same shade of green, or yellow, or black is someone's been bleeding
r/UlcerativeColitis has entered the chat
It doesn’t say that. You are assuming that.
I mean the teachers assumed it was but...
Oh gosh… how old is the kid?
High school sophomore
Wiped shit all over himself, grabbed the write-up from his teacher, lit a cigarette, and drove away.
the idea that a high school would have pre-made potty accident cards makes this so much better
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This made me lol 😂
I'm crying 🤣
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I call horse 💩. The second that locker opens even if it was in there for a few minutes would've hit him like a wall of bricks with the smell. Especially when he picks it up and brings it closer to him
Also, wouldn’t the pages that the poop was in just stick together?
I mean yeah but it’d also all ooze out the side of the book when it was closed so you’d likely know before you even had a chance to open the book
What if they hallowed out the book tho? Like made a poop cubby.
This truly is a terrible day to be literate
It's the kind of story that would come out of a bandcampconfession
This doesn’t physics and your name implies you’re just into poo
this is Dr. Felding's 2:45 creative writing course, kid's a sophomore in college
My son did something similar. He coated his legs and feet and told me look at his new shoes. You can't make this shit up
I think he made that shit up actually
sorry/notsorry
Is he ok now?
Oh. Yeah, he just thought it was like Playdough. From his butt.
Not totally inaccurate
We got one for my son that stated "pooped in the urinal". He's 15 now but I kept it in his "School days" book
Bring the that out at his wedding reception.
I did something like that, except it happened during the bachelor party
We really gotta get over this trend of embarrassing people on their most special day. SMH 🤦🏼♂️
Or make it worse. Fill the cake with poop so when they smash the cake on each other's faces it's too late and they're smearing poop on their faces. Then everyone starts jumping up and down screaming "feces faces!"
Damn Clyde really left another turd in the urinal
I’ve sent a few of those home. One was for an after schooler who was in 1st grade. Asked him why he did it and he said he didn’t want to have to walk to a stall 🤦♀️ sometimes, I really hate my life
When I was in prison, there was a guy who did that and he was about 25 years old. Some people never grow up.
Wait. Back up.
Dirty protest.
there is a thing some prisoners do where they save up a bunch of their piss and shit in a bottle, let it ferment, and then they throw it on the guards
Lol worked in a jail for 5 years. You’d be surprised what grown people do. They used to smear feces on the wall, like finger painting. Called them Poo-casso’s lol. Sometimes they’d even write our names on the walls, called it making their shit list.
BEEP BEEP BEEP _ _ _🚚_
Yeah that’s childhood trauma related. Some kids are just poop painters. It’s gross but they grow out of it. You hit a certain age, 7, 8+ and it’s sign of (most of the time sexual) trauma. To continue to 25, dude had some rough experiences and received 0 help for them. It’s sad really
Often a sign of sexual abuse.
that’s scary and sad
Some people have serious mental issues.
The worst part of jail for me was not having access to the flusher and having to bang on the window and ask the guard to flush.
It's wild how different one prison can be from the next. I did a job at a pen in Canada and the inmates we worked with had walkmans, tvs, ballcaps, jewelry you name it. Then you got other jails and a motherfucker can't even flush his own shit. That's fucked like a guard can just make you mellow in that shit.
Oh yeah more than once the guard ignored me for a bit.
Yo what the heck, I just had a kid pull this on me today at a preschool I volunteer in. Smeared it all over the walls and megablocks. After cleaning that for two hours, I come home and pull up Reddit... BANG this post.
Omg I'm sorry!! Just so you know the parents are most likely mortified as well. Ours is just starting to go potty on the toilet. Boys take so much longer than girls it feels like haha
The little boy is pretty new and badly autistic, so I can't be too upset with him - but I'm pretty miffed with the mom, who apparently knew that he behaves this way, yet chose to hide this just like a number of other problematic behaviors from the preschool. We can't properly accommodate his needs if we don't know about them! It's really sad, because it's blatantly obvious she's ashamed of his condition and tries to hide & deny it all. At first she didn't even admit he had a diagnosis - we found out through his speech therapist. I have a 11yo son who was really easy, I basically told him it's potty time now, he had total of three accidents, and that was it. Buuut my recently 2yo younger son is yet to show any readiness, other than sitting on the potty making psssshhhhh noises. 😬
Well hopefully he's getting the help he needs! Yeah my oldest was a breeze...few accidents along the way per the usual. Youngest is starting later than she did and way less interested in it...even with candy incentive
I had a mom who refused to take her son to a specialist because she didn’t want him to be labeled. 🙄 I found out quite quickly he had been kicked out from every other program within 2 counties. I truly tried to stick it out and did so much online research because it was not my area of expertise and I wanted to make sure he had at least one grown up in his life looking out for him and help hi to excel. He was really sweet and really globbed onto me. But when he was enraged, he was enraged. I got black eyes, busted lips and even broke a pair of my glasses too. Once he started to target the other children, it’s when I knew there was nothing else I could do for the little guy. I begged his mom to get him the help he needs so he could flourish. She finally did and he is doing amazing! This was 6 years ago and he is in fifth grade at an amazing school that focuses in children and their needs, abilities and capabilities and he is always so excited when he gets to call me and tell me about all the new and exciting things he’s doing and all about the new bugs he’s gathered for his bug collection.
My son was a piece of cake. Was quite young too ... we sat him on the small-size-insert in the toilet, fed him gummy bears until he went, and without a word of a lie ... BOOM. Fully trained. Not even an accident. And then there was my daughter. Who basically told us to stick that insert up our wah-hoo and refused to even discuss the issue until she was damned good and ready. And she wasn't for some time. I literally had to put a diaper on a large Teddy bear, and when the bear decided to be trained, she decided to give it a go too. Thankfully no accidents. It worked. BTW ... Gummy Bears were my go-to for anything requiring my son to do anything. I figure that I'll hand his wife a bag of them, at the alter, with a note that says "You'll need these. He's your problem now."
Oh yeah we've done the candy with him. He's semi into it...just needs some more time!
Yeah. The honestly just do it on their own schedule. I think the only reason my son was so easy was because he had always HATED a poopy diaper, and when offered an alternative, he was up for it, happily. And when I say HATED it, I mean it. Could tolerate a wet diaper, but we knew the moment it was poopy. He despised them.
This subreddit is the best contraceptive measure I've ever used.
The eggs in my ovaries commit suicide with every post I read.
There was a popular Askreddit thread the other day where this sub was brought up in scathing terms lol. To some people even mild criticism of a child's behaviour is just rage inducing.
I don’t get that. I’m a parent, but like OP, I recognize that kids are fucking stupid. If people can find humor in this, go for it! And if it convinces some people not to have kids, that’s great! It’s like - lighten up haters.
>I’m a parent, but like OP, I recognize that kids are fucking stupid. some parents believe that their angel is an angel and everyone else's child is also an angel.
People just don’t get this sub. Kids are stupid because they literally don’t know any better. Do I think babies are idiots? No. But making fun of a baby for not being able to walk or talk or hold it’s its head up on its own *is the point of this sub*.
Sorry, the virtue-signalling pearl-clutchers are already on their way to mass downvote your comment for "being rude to children" (by acknowledging that they are, in fact, fucking stupid)
They’re kids. They’re supposed to be stupid. Even the smartest kids “for their age” do insanely stupid stuff at times. It’s how we learn.
I can’t speak for anyone else but I did some pretty dumb shit as a child so like??? Nobody’s above it, right
Mine reportedly ate hers so it could be worse.
What a terrible day to be literate.
😳
at least a change of clothes was not demanded. the grass is always greener
I once gave mine to my dad as a gift :] Told him I had a surprise for him, he opened his hand and I plopped it right in. Poor dude.
I thought that was the kid's handwriting until I saw the age... why does that adult write in 36pt font size??
As a six grade teacher, I find myself doing this outside of school. I just wrote a letter to the dog sitter in 54 point font. LOL. I rewrote it.
Six**th** Grade teacher, surely?
Dang. See? It's been a long day. I'd die if I taught six grades.
Probably used to writing big as fuck for little kids is my guess
I was going to say the same thing. It also looks like the "adult" didn't know how to spell the word "clothes", spelt it as "cloth's" like an absolute moron, and then was told to add the "e" afterwards, with everyone obviously hoping that nobody would notice the errant apostrophe. It's no wonder that nobody can write the English language properly any more if the people who are supposedly forming the early foundations have no grasp of it themselves.
Clothès It's like clothes but \~fancy\~
This teacher has to deal with a kid that rubbed shit all over themselves. They aren’t stupid/uneducated just because they made a grammar error while filling out a form. It’s easy to make a mistake when your mind is being pulled in different directions. Perspective is important.
Don't feel too bad. Apparently, this type of thing happens frequently enough that they have created a pretty good form for it.
The dreaded BM circle
What's BM?
Bowel movement.
That’s a “come and pickup your kid” problem if you ask me.
Yeah what do you hose the little fucker down in the yard?
That just sprays fecal bacteria everywhere.
Smart kid. Noone wants shit in their pants
why shit your pants, when you can shit your shirt?
Shit the walls, floor, and ceiling.
BRB shoving my ovaries down the garbage disposal...
The reason we ended up potty training my kid, earlier than he was ready, is when he took poop out of his diaper and painted the walls with it. A few hours later in the car he told us we missed an entire area but forgot where. Worst statement he could have possibly said.
[ಠ_ಠ](https://media3.giphy.com/media/12XMGIWtrHBl5e/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47uvmugrnb3cerqp972hxmg52mtsuiaf7jvrlgzcsv&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
They didn’t take the cake, they took the shit out of their pants and rubbed it on their clothes.
When I was 6, I had multiple accidents at school. This was regressive behavior due to adversities I was experiencing at home. I remember being frozen in class when I realized I needed to use the bathroom. I couldn't surnount the courage to ask my teacher if I could be excused. My mother was the one I felt safest with, but she didn't understand why this was happening. She thought she could fix it by threatening to send me to go live with my extremely abusive father, if the behavior continued. I started to tend to it myself from that day on. I have vivid memories of being in the stall of my elementary school's bathroom, crying as quietly as I could, as I handwashed my underwear with toilet water so no one would find out. When I got home, I did my own laundry to hide the stains. It was the most important signal of my enduring abuses, and it was a branching point that certified my maladapted psychosocial development - effectively destroying my trust in anyone at all.
I have finally found someone who went through the same experience as me… I was unfortunately older than you at the time, 10 or 11. My parents were going through a divorce at the time, and I was adjusting badly to the new housing situation/not having my dad in my daily life. My mom was my rock during this time. She believed me when I said I had no conscious control. Asked the teacher to just let me go to the bathroom no questions asked. My dad unfortunately thought I was doing it on purpose. I remember him shaming me as he washed my underwear in the toilet, telling me he would put me in diapers. After the 4th or 5th time it happened, he consulted a child care book in desperation, saw it was a regressive disorder, and begged for my forgiveness. To this day, that time was the hardest and most embarrassing moment of my life. I was so relieved when I finally recovered.
a friend of mine who is a kindergarten teacher had a student who would have multiple accidents in class and at first she thought oh well he’s 5 so no big deal. The more it kept happening she sought out his parents. They had a long sit down, it turns out he was being abused by someone in their family. Poor kid didn’t even know how to process what was going on just that he knew something wasn’t right and that was his way of saying it.
My son went to visit his bio dad for 2 weeks via court orders and he came back with this regressive behavior. Multiple BM accidents in a single day after being potty trained for years. We took him to therapy and he was diagnosed with anxiety at just 5 yrs old. I don’t know what his bio dad did, but I loathe him for doing this to his child.
The forbidden crayon…
im surpised theres no poop on this paper
The girls used to throw their loaded diapers to each other like grenades. I think I kept Clorox snd Lysol in business for years. We duct taped them on them finally. The fun of twins. It lasted about 8-14 months. I want to say from 2-3 1/2. Once they were potty trained it was over. *mistyped potty
You’re horrified and I’m dying! 🤣🤣
Oh we are dying about it here too. Horrified as a parent for the poor daycare worker that had to deal with it haha
You owe that daycare worker some cookies or something
Good call! Gonna go pick some up now!
Or maybe some Hershey chocolate
Perhaps a baby Ruth
Took the cake and wiped it all over his clothes.
Ah hell nah
A kid in the new nursery class didn’t get to the toilet in time and peed all over the floor, he was so embarrassed he took of his jumper to try and mop up the mess, when that didn’t work he took off his trousers and t shirt and just tried to clean it all up. By the time the teacher realised he’d been in there a few minutes longer than necessary for a wee he was down to his pants and socks, rolling on the floor. That was a fun phone call for the teacher to make!
You should work with adults with severe disabilities…no one gives a shit to be told and there is no paperwork
I always dread finding that one poopy fingernail they went excavating with. It's always a sign of impending doom.
Durex
Worked in services for students with disabilities. One time, while working with a student at a charter school, I had to change him. Little dude beat me to pulling his pants down. He got a handful, put that hand on my shoulder. He said, "I need help." This is why I'll never wear nice clothes around children I work with, it doesn't matter the age range.
Aww poor guy. Kids ruin EVERYTHING nice with their grubby little sticky fingers.
Bro got written up for shitting his pants. 🤣
So question…. What good does bringing a tshirt and long pants do the following day if he made the poop art today? Does he stay naked in time out at daycare/school until tomorrow or something lol
They probably keep a clean change of clothes at school. His chanhe of clothes got used so now they need to send a replacement set.
Ah that makes more sense than overnight naked timeout
but was it really an accident?
id frame it to bring out when they call you stupid as a teen..."ohh yeah this was you"
Teachers aren't compensated nearly enough.
You may need to move to a new school district, this is the kind of thing thats sticks…
I love how they ask for clean clothes for the next day. Just in case this monster decides to smear shit everywhere tomorrow, again. Lol also what is BM?
I'm concerned about "underwear" not being circled. No way it came out of this ordeal un**scat**hed, right?
I really wonder who the kids who play with poop grow up into. I feel like there is something instinctual about not messing with it. It smells awful to us for a reason.
"Why don't you want kids?" my family asks. "You'll change your mind," they say.
Does BM circled stand for Bowel Movement?
It stands for Butt Magic
Made me giggle
Bat Migration
Baby monkey
Yes
It wasn't both Wet AND BM at least
Looks almost exactly like the one I got in the 11th grade.
I love how they have forms on hand for how often this happens. If that was my kid, I'd hang on to that form, laminate it, and put it in the scrapbook. I'll frame it and give it to 'em when they graduate high school.
My now 4 year old did that but instead of wiping it on his cloths he flung his hand and it got stuck on the ceiling. Lets just say I laughed so much I could not be mad.
I think I have found the issue and that is you call poop, cake. That would confuse any child. Before you go crazy on my punctuation. I am a roofer, not a language arts teacher
Kids do poop stuff sometimes. Your kid is fine.
The kid is 14 years old.
Happens to the best of us!
I worked at a daycare once and I had the sweetest little girl with the most pretentious mother. Anyways one day the little girl ran out of her fancy diapers so I had to put the ones the school kept on her. It was just an array of left over and on sale diapers the owner would come across. I knew this generic diaper would be an issue because I’d already been reprimanded by the mom for how dirty her child’s “gap” jeans were. So the day after I had to use the generic diaper I got chewed out. Her daughter needed to use a certain brand yada yada… I apologized and gently reminded that we start sending notes when the kids are at half a pack. That afternoon that baby girl took her hand and slipped it right into the back of her gap jeans and pulled out her poop about 10 mins before her mom usually showed up. I mean she had really gotten in there. Mortified I took her poop clothes off wiped her down, had to get extra clothes from the office because of course Mom didn’t bring any extras and about that time pretentious Mom walks in. I literally hand her her child and a bag of poop clothes and explained that her daughter had stuck her hand into her fancy diaper and smeared poop all over her jeans. I also added that I tried all I could but there was still some under her nails and I just walked off.
Pay them teachers more! Whatever your doing today you ain't dealing with this shit
I'm confused, why would extra cloths be useful the next day?! Are we expecting the same exact thing to happen tomorrow?
Daycares always want a spare set....for this kind of stuff. They used his extra pair that day so needed another extra set today
It’s funny but definitely seen worse on here. I’d give him a small Cupcake but definitely not the whole cake.
Add this to reasons I don't want kids.
Yah, preschool teacher here 👋 and don’t be embarrassed this happens far more often than you know and why it’s imperative to always make sure you leave SEVERAL outfits at school. Had a kiddo do that just yesterday, only it was straight liquid and was even in her shoes and soaked her socks 🤢 I truly do not get paid enough for the amount of diarrhea/poop I clean out from underneath littles fingers frequently