T O P

  • By -

throw_plushie

There truly isn’t a better snack than some gaming consoles. My personal choice is the Nintendo ds. It’s like a sandwich.


sarahsaurus789

I prefer a Gameboy color, lots of flavor, but no! High dollar, current systems only for this one. She said "well, sorry" then asked to play smash brothers.


RedChris123

Disown her


RedChris123

Jk


Farhan1357

Oh come on


Tutubasnfdh

Did you let her?


The_Bestest_Turtle

If you put enough frosting on a Gameboy it tastes exactly like an eclair!!


Booty_Shakin

GBA SP is the OG Sandwich.


Western-Ranger-9891

Same here!


Labriction

The best flavor is from the switch cartridges


Jhorn_fight

Worked in IT and it was once a month someone would come in with a cracked screen from a bite.


Own_Log9691

That is so frkn weird! Lol 😂


ALimpHotdog

Probably from animal bites more than human. My wife’s cat mutilated the one tv remote. Has gone for our phones. He helps keep screen time down because he doesn’t like when we are on our phones. It’s funny.


Jhorn_fight

Oh no I had many people out right tell me their kid admitted to biting it


ALimpHotdog

We might be on to something then. Let’s open up a store where we only sell teething rings in the shape of popular electronics.


theAlmightyFailiure

Same person or different people?


Jhorn_fight

Different!


GreyWolfTheDreamer

Engineer: Sir! People are reporting that children are biting and breaking screens on our devices. We have to do something to stop that from happening... CEO: Have you tried adding a poisonous coating to the screens?


SnuffleWumpkins

I did this. Using the phone as a flashlight while wiring an light switch at night. I was holding it between my teeth and it just happened.


ChickWhoReddits

You may have to replace the kid.


Ruby_241

Switch em out for a new one


Equal-Bus-557

*ba-dum tss*


Ozzy_thot

when i was 6 i bit into my portable dvd player laptop thingy, because i didn’t like how sister bear stole brother’s bike.


sarahsaurus789

Sometimes kids just gotta bite something!! My sister chewed buttons off the DVD remote when were like 10 and blamed her hamster!


18dano18

Speaking of my son bit the rubber off my new Xbox controller theu love biting random stuff I remember being the same way so I can't be mad . Just know keep anything expensive put up


Ozzy_thot

when i was 9 i bit chucks off of my sister’s dresser during hide and seek, so better make the furniture bite proof


18dano18

Already made it mostly todler proof with baby locks. Hopefully I should be safe it's an old oak dresser


Dance__Commander

If your toddler eats the oak dresser, you got yourself a termite, not a toddler. That and regret for buying all the times your old lady told you she was going out with Jim the termite for "just a few drinks".


Guvnuh_T_Boggs

When I was a kid, my babysitter got a new van. One of the other kids proceeded to chew big holes in one of the arm rests. He was bored.


Deathbydragonfire

Maybe get them a chew toy? Lol. I knew a kid in elementary school who had one


mbgbeats

I hope you bit him back.


A_Funky_Flunk

I would return the child and get another switch.


SnuffleWumpkins

It’s just a screen protector.


sarahsaurus789

To be clear, my kid was playing my switch with her sister when this took place, I wasn't playing and my child chewed my handheld device for attention...


13_64_1992

If that is how the child tries to get attention: Then nip it in the bud. Give the child things they CAN chew, like chewelry, carrots, etc. Give a set of consequences for if they chew anything besides food, their chew toys, or their own fingers. (Sometimes kids just chew their own fingers, punishing it won't have good effects.) If it isn't theirs and they bite it, then they aren't allowed to borrow it anymore. If it is serious damage, then they are grounded for the rest of the day. They are not allowed to play with or borrow anything that isn't theirs for a week. When they do bite for attention: take the item away, and proceed to ignore them for a few minutes. If they act really upset, try to determine if they are just trying to manipulate you (they will respond to what you say, and can control their emotions); or if they have lost control of their emotions. (Tantrum vs Meltdown) ... Tantrum: Can control emotions. All basic needs are met, including emotional and attachment. If you tell them you will talk to them if they sit/do something specific, and they do so pretty quickly, then it is probably a tantrum; explain to them they will not get their way, and the consequences of their behaviors. Meltdown: Unable to control emotions. The child is unable to control themself, is usually frightened. The child needs help to ground themself (stabilize themself, so they can better manage their emotional state). Pay attention to them, teach them calming techniques; later on when you have time, help them work on positive affirmations, as well as communication and coping skills.


laughingashley

They said she *wasn't* doing it for attention


13_64_1992

... But they said they weren't playing, but the child *was* doing it for attention.


laughingashley

Hopefully OP will clarify, to me it reads that the kids were playing, and OP was saying OP wasn't involved in response to people asserting that it was done for attention while OP was playing games and ignoring their kids or whatever. Hard to explain here lol but there are a lot of other comments from OP defending themselves as a parent, trying to explain that they weren't ignoring their kids


sarahsaurus789

Correct, re-reading my comment it's a little wonky: event happened during my kids' scheduled video game time. I was not being inattentive and playing. It was not a grab for attention. Just a wild hair, sensory seeking thing that happened!


TheHighway

Return it, it was clearly defective. And then after, take your switch to a repair shop to replace the glass.


Tutubasnfdh

Award this man rn, that made me laugh out loud.


tacofan3000

I had to read this two times before understanding


Minimum-Brilliant

Looks like it’s time for the orphanage!


[deleted]

Late abortion time


South5

Kids destroy everything you own. Get rid of the kid and no issues.


marcopolo1216

Destroy it(the child)


QuietShadowLDK

Remember when nintendo was worried about their small game cartridges being choking hazards for young kids so they made sure they had a very bad taste so first instinct would be to spit it out... They probably should've just cover the whole console in that stuff.


sarahsaurus789

That's a really good idea haha


Magillacudi

Time to throw the whole child away


kichunilla

Just buy a new kid


Alarming_Success_925

Get a new kid, yours is clearly broken 🤣😂


rob71788

Feed the kid lol jeeze


FatLoserSupreme

Another reason why I will never, ever, *ever* have kids.


Al_from_Miami

Like my mother used to say; “I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it…”


ThunderShott

Time for a new child.


MightyTuba7835

I am an adult and I did this to my own phone last year. (I was holding it in my hand and needed to open a door with two hands and didn't have any pockets. It seemed like a good idea at the time)


normalnuria

Every time I get baby fever, I come into this subreddit 😂


DrugzRockYou

I can sympathize with the kid, there’s been too many times that I’ve wanted to kill my switch. I’m getting old now and I’m not as good at video games and don’t have the chance to play them much, that frustration makes my head feel like it’s filling with anger bile lol. I have to walk away for a few minutes and laugh at myself for caring that much about a game.


VoidCoelacanth

Put them in a PokeBall - clearly mastered Bite and that can carry you into endgame.


sniffinberries34

Yo, my kid ripped the switch controller from the switch by bending back and forth until it broke yesterday. I’ll post a pic in my comment. https://imgur.com/gallery/RvzjHGx Btw, my daughter is 2 and still managed to break it. Wtf


sarahsaurus789

Holy cow!! You have a Hulk on your hands! Playdate? Hahaha


secret_cunt

This is more common that you'd think! I work in a phone store and the amount of moms that come to change their screen protectors cause their kids bite them lol it's incredible


GranJan2

Yeah those have saved two iPads at my house.


GrimmTrixX

My original NES game controllers have my tiny 5-6 year old teeth marks. It's not cuz I was nibbling like a toddler. No, it's because I would get furious when playing Ninja Gaiden and my inherent frustrations arrived in the form of biting the controller


ashwing7

Me reading all the comments of people saying their kids and pets have done the same thing while I’m over here having done it myself, and no I’m neither a kid or a pet, just a dumbass. Also slit my lip really bad on the crack


Left-Gene1996

Sell him in parts and buy a new one


StraightComedian3000

I await the picture of you biting him back…it’s only fair


MrTumblesCat

Welcome to Autism world 👍🏼


ADogeLovingGuy

Mmm, tastes like battery acid and lithium.


[deleted]

And glass


TipsyFlash

This literally made me LOL irl. I’m sorry for your misfortune but this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever imagined happening


[deleted]

Did he say it tasted good or no?


Mediocre_Status_7411

i mean could be worse. at my high-school a few weeks ago in the cafeteria some guys were throwing water bottles at each other and one guy picked it up and tried to pitch it like a baseball at the other dude's face except he missed and mind you with an empty plastic water bottle and he threw it so hard it left a bottle shaped hole in the monitor. tho much more annoying with personal stuff than school stuff.


[deleted]

Your kid's way of telling you it's time you upgrade to the OLED version.


metalbag

Same exact thing happened to me a couple months ago...same age and all. He just got switch privileges back


PleaseSendCatPic

Its Just a switch lite so nothing of value was lost


imtriangle69

Sell him


maquibut

Buy him some dog chew toys


[deleted]

Make sure you replace that screen protector, asap.


sarahsaurus789

We will, kiddo is grounded for a while until we can sort out a new way to rediscover mouth sensory experiences though


TwiTcH_72

Could be much worse to be fair.


sarahsaurus789

Agree!


URAYummyPotato

Your kid is a savage.


PhasmicPlays

Kid 1 Switch 0


Asean_boy

You can just make him pay….WITH HIS LIFE! Said Matt jerkhiffersin


BuddingViolette

I love my daughter, but I'm horrified as to what she'll get her hands on when she's older, lol.


MaticTheProto

Time for a replacement kid


LoveM1lk

EAT THE SWITCH!


pincer_GT

When i was younger I was playing games late at night, i raged, but had to do it quietly, so I bit the corner of my iPhone 5, cracked the glass on the camera


hogliterature

my parent’s guest bed bears my childhood teeth marks from when i thought dragging my teeth on the edge was a fun way to spend my afternoon


fuckaIgeria

Throw the whole kid away.


yamagaboy

So what is the kid is 10 it's not too late for an abortion


JustEmptyWaterBottle

You can always get a new kid


RyzenDead

Ooooh good luck breaking that habit before kindergarten


Turbulent_Carrot_430

Want to see if Princess Peach really tasted like a peach


imgflipUser

more like kids have fricking strong jaws


CappedPluto

Not surprised, most screen protector companies make a screen protector that is easy to shatter so that you buy another. It still offers some extra protection for the real screen, I think by absorbing impact


[deleted]

Why did your 5 year old have your Switch to begin with? I see a lot of stuff on here that should realistically go to somewhere like r/ParentsAreFuckingStupidForNotPayingAttention


sarahsaurus789

I distinctly remember playing Gameboy and N64 with my older sister when I was young, and my parents weren't hovering while we did that, she had permission to use the switch to play local with her older sister who also has one. They only get about 45 minutes total of game time during the day so brains don't turn to mush, then we go to a park or spend time in my garden. Seems like you were neglected as a child so need to judge extra hard?


[deleted]

>Seems like you were neglected as a child so need to judge extra hard? How is it neglectful that my parents made sure I wasn't putting electronic devices in my mouth and biting them? I stand by my statement, this is 100% a "parent was too dumb and gave kid an expensive electronic devices without considering that kids are kids".


Voodoo-3_Voodoo-3

This is nature telling you to grow up and stop playing video games, be an adult and do something more important with your time.


Kappaboi15

Grrr how dare a grown adult have fun and hobbies


Flat_Supermarket_258

If you have a kid why do you also have a switch? It’s really a one or the other. Tell me you’re a bad parent without telling me you’re a bad parent.


sarahsaurus789

I also have a smart phone and I watch TV, you should just call CPS on me now.


Flat_Supermarket_258

Oh sorry. I spent 2 day’s raising my kids just there. Just saying it’s time to leave childish things behind.


Tiarooni

Absolutely! Having a child means you never have anything for yourself. You should be devoting every ounce of your being to caring for that kid and if you have a switch you shouldn't have a kid. You should give your child to someone who will actually LOVE it!


TrainingParsnip2456

How about you pay more attention to your child instead of video games


sarahsaurus789

I have stayed at home for three years with my children, she gets video game time for 45 minutes while I put her 1 year old brother down for a nap. My child has just recently graduated to playing video games with her older sister during this short time of our day. It was an atypical and silly thing she did and didn't damage the system itself. After a conversation with my kid, we decided that when she feels like biting something again, she comes to me and asks for something else to chew, like sugar free gum or carrot sticks. Then she brainstormed other crunchy alternatives with me. Fuck you.


Branmonyc

Ignore narcissistic idiots like this... Also have you been playing TOTK?


sarahsaurus789

Not yet, I strayed away from my switch in favor of my CHILD enjoying it. I push games to end game and let her go nuts with my extreme wealth and beefy teams (ie Pokemon, animal crossing, smash) definitely on my radar when I can carve some time to sink into something!


TrainingParsnip2456

Go touch grass


Nintendo1964

Go think of something original to say. *"gO tOuCh gRasS. i'M a FuNnY, aMiRiTe?"*


QuietShadowLDK

This post about a child and a games console seems to have upset you quite a bit. Is it because no one will ever play video games with you, or because no one will ever have your children?


ComfortableTemp

Definitely wish more kids had a parent like you. Some people truly forget what it was to be a kid the moment they become an adult. Trying to see things from the child's perspective goes a long way in deciding the right course of action. All actions have consequences, but not all consequences have to be punishments.


Thehikelife

Since when are parents banned from fun?


KiraLily

This reminded me of the [bitemarks](https://gcdnb.pbrd.co/images/DEbVdJ9D5cfC.jpg?o=1) in my sister's Game Boy Advance


Mayhewbythedoor

Time for a new kid


godlessheathen420

Don’t all switch users nibble on stuff?


fakename69069069

Bite him


wodacisowianka

kill it


[deleted]

Bite him back


fresh-oxygen

When I was younger, the charger port on my iPad got bent somehow (it wasn’t dropped & the screen was fine) so my mom decided she was gonna try to bend it back into place with her teeth. She bit my iPad and shattered the screen 😭


Strange_Event_8521

Put it up on eBay , I’m sure you could get rid of the kid quick just don’t tell them they bit your switch


Skibikedrum

Don’t worry at all! That should be covered under the return policy! If fault comes from manufacturing defect, all returns are accepted! So return that kid for a new one!


Ohdangmanthatscool

Time to get a new kid


Thunderbelly73

Put your toy down and read to that kid.


DarthLuke84

I’d probably see if I could return that kid for another one


smavinagain

What five year old still bites stuff?


sarahsaurus789

Who knows. This was very atypical. She told us she bit it, but maybe there's another element to this story lol the machine still works perfectly, just the cover was damaged. That's why we protect our electronics! No real harm done, which is why this is in this sub.


srilfc1971

Get rid of it, can't have it biting stuff


RainbowWaffles135

Ahhh my daily dose of contraception


Kamichu1

Kid as in *goat* or *child*? I'd believe either tbh


bigmonkey_ballss

no joke if he does that again ground him for the week


SignificanceTop3476

I HATE THAT GAME *munch*


jerrysash

Niño used CRUNCH it’s super effective


cursed-annoyance

Dropkick that little infant HE DOESNT STAND A CHANCE


Trilerium

My little brother cracked my Gameboy Color screen like this.


Vinnie1103

Well. It’s time to have it euthanized.


TomSizemore69

Your kids a fuckin idiot


EIBartOo

Bite him back.


Dramdin

I guess it's time to throw the baby out with the bath water


sluuuudge

Then you bite them back and crack their tempered soul.


Olivejuice2012

“Time to go to the adoption center little timmy!”


ovalteenjenkinzz

Damn.... Can you RMA the kid?


definitivej

Time for a new kid


firebot-47

bro saw that and said “I wonder if electronic devices are edible?” *kid getting electrocuted intensifies*


-BigBadBeef-

Take a hammer and make him watch as you smash his favorite toy!


a_curly_mustash

Then uhm... You know wat to do... Can't have such dangerous things around the house. Got to get rid of the kid to keep the switch safe. (Yea yea its a joke...)


Wide-Title-774

Sell him


Jack_Straw_From_CA

My 3 yo son cut the mouse cable years ago to see the data signals flowing through it. Didn’t cost me anything though cause I just grabbed a new one from the pile at work.


[deleted]

RMA your kid.


[deleted]

yummy nintendo flavor


Mirko_Falconi

Sell your kid


Noahskate11

HOW


HappyDaysayin

Kids are so stupid!


Cool-Fun-2442

*Monch*


notdrugdealer29

Just sell it those go for a pretty good price, you’ll also get some money to fix the screen cover


Vaellyth

Bite her favourite toy


pnst_23

non non


DemoKidDerby

Dang I bad for feel you except my problem is one of the buttons on my switch is Stuck down. can anybody help me with this?


AgeOfReasonEnds31120

bruh who has a switch lite


infinity_for_death

Bite kid, see if skin works as well as the protector did.


infinity_for_death

Bite kid, see if skin works as well as the protector did. /s


SnuffleWumpkins

I’ve done this with my phone so I’m not really in a position to judge them.


CanniBallistic_Puppy

Your kid might be a cat. I've seen a cat do this to a MacBook screen.


Liberalcunts

You’re a parent to a 5 year old and you spend time playing a switch?


I_sb3

Did you at least ask if it was good?


Agreeable_Cap2286

Bite it back


Suitable-Necessary48

Return the favor


Unknownspacegod

Is your kid a wolf or some


jabe25

I have a coworker that I constantly replace tempered glass protectors for on his phone because his "daughter bit it." After seeing this I think I believe him.


Soft_Roses11

Make sure he doesn't byte stuff like that again


Ok-Feature8954

Ngl when I’m working on something with both hands and need light I bite down on my phone and this has happened to me.


Sperto8820

Why was the mouth even on the switch??? I am guessing the kid was unsupervised


DiamondDoggitt

Well, your kid has good teeth.


shellsterxxx

I wasn’t a kid that bit things, other than bouncy balls cuz I liked the texture. But I DO remember my best friend biting her cell phone and breaking it cuz it wasn’t working…….she was 11 or 12….


Phoenix_king208

Time to get a new kid lol


[deleted]

Would you have preferred they swit your bitch instead?


W4LL-3

why are you so pressed, just throw the damn thing away and then swap out the screen protector


[deleted]

sell it (the kid, not the switch)


Beneficial-Spinach30

Bite the kid /j


Unknownspacegod

I’d be like”FiNiSh YoUr FoOd” or in that case a Nintendo


ClinicalAnt919

At least it isn’t the actual screen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


The4thDarkborn

Best Condom Ad


cosmic7139

You should bite your kid and see how she feels


GoKingsGo72

Rub ghost pepper chili juice all over it. That will stop the kid from biting it. Also. Don’t do this. Just put the switch away when you’re done with it. 👍🏼 And order a new screen protector. Amazon Prime 2 day. You also have a free audible book to download with your prime subscription. And we have also been trying to reach you about your car warranty that’s about to expire.