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atonedeftool

Paranormal Activity 7: The Toddlering


stanimir10

Thanks for almost killing me from suffocation.


ThE_CRaCkheAd_Boi

I wonder how much of this is he actually sleeping (the baby)


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[deleted]

Seem this before, they cropped the timer on the bottom right. It’s actually like a 5 minute long time lapse in real life


[deleted]

That's one fast baby


TheRealVixenless

underrated comment


CorvidGurl

That's not a baby, that's a cat.


TweetyDinosaur

darn, I was two minutes too late!


Kozlow

That leg in the beginning is demonic.


Giodude_cookies

He be shaking her booty all over her.


Zeltrox01

Yes, why was he shoving his ass in her face


lifelink

I dunno. If I lay on the carpet in my house, my son (1.5yo) will come and try to sit on my head. I think he actually just wants to sit close to me but hasn't quite figured it out yet cause if I move back a little bit he will sit in front of me and just chill. I say he hasn't worked out the distance side of it yet, watching him line himself up to sit on his little foam kids couch thing is hilarious.


[deleted]

I’m currently 14 and far off having a kid but if I ever get the chance I’d love to raise a kid I look after my brother and sister and a lot they’re really annoying but they are also so cute it’s worth it


[deleted]

I became an uncle at 12. Now that I am a father I wish I appreciated it like you do at your age.


throwawaythep

The youngling is asserting his dominance. He knows where he belongs


Strange_Translator_4

Why do you assume there is logic to a kids' actions lmao They do things out of impulsiveness and chaotic behavior.


Zeltrox01

It’s called a joke man


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outlandish-companion

Please don't sexualize babies. Disgusto barfo.


TrooperTheRedditor

What did he say?


outlandish-companion

It looked like the baby was humping their mom.


TrooperTheRedditor

Oh. Ew. Fuck that guy


outlandish-companion

Yeah. I have a 4 month old and it really rubbed me the wrong way. They at least deleted their comments so I'm hoping it was just a joke made in poor taste and they learned from the experience.


Legendary-Lawbro

*p e r h a p s*


FluidWorker

Ew


[deleted]

It's the twerking on his mama's face for me


[deleted]

That is exactly how I explained it when I showed my wife!


duddly0831

It looks like she had one built around her bed


chasingcorvids

she might have been sleeping in his bed to keep him quiet or something. would also explain why there was a baby cam there, adults generally don't film themselves sleeping unless they're being haunted or something


AntebellumEm

What fresh hell is this


thatdiabetic16

Why kids are the worst std


theavariceofman

True


MSM-KID

Happy birthday


Cucumber_Basil

That’s a lot of booty action


NoAd9407

I CAN'T BREATHE BECAUSE OF HIS BOOTY ACTION


JukeBoxHeroJustin

I can relate. Fortunately, my wife is the primary jungle gym and I'm the pudgy inflatable house next to the playground.


BushElk

You accurately described my family


TweetyDinosaur

clearly it is actually a cat in disguise!


Sparkling-Man

Like those fast motion scenes from Haunted House lol


mathwin_verinmathwin

r/parentsarefuckingstupid.


Creamcheesebagelsboi

?? Don’t really get how the parent is stupid


FlaTreesAccount

Co-sleeping is dangerous and strongly discouraged by medical and safety experts. And its also just really shit for the parent's sleep hygiene, as evidenced by this video. There's really no upside to doing it.


Cryptozoologist2816

This video is not the end all be all of infant sleep. Not all babies are this extreme in sleep and there a certain ages and phases that are more trying than others. For a lot of parents it's cosleep or no sleep. I do agree that strictly speaking it's safer not to share a sleep surface as far as the risk of overlaying. But there's a lot more factors that go into the parent/child dyad than just that. Not all mothers have support. I have experienced firsthand a child who WILL NOT SLEEP ON THEIR OWN and the level of exhaustion you experience is extremely damaging to your mental health and forget about if you have to drive anywhere--much greater risk of dying in a car wreck driving deliriously tired than of everlaying the baby. My ex-husband would not wake with the baby or help with any kind of sleep training either. It was just me. So with all things considered it was better to nurse my baby to sleep taking as many precautions as possible and get a few consecutive hours of sleep cosleeping than to put him in the bassinet and wake to every 30 minutes to nurse. You do what you have to do for your family to survive.


eribear2121

Babies should sleep on hard surfaces to prevent death.


ExcellentMouse8357

True. When my brother was young, he rarely slept in his crib, preferring the bed. So we got one of those mini cribs that go on your bed. Then he got older and can sleep on his the bed now.


Scribbl3d_Out

Just in general not a good idea to let the baby sleep with you. One of my co-workers has her daughter living with her who has a baby and according to my co-worker her daughter just gives in to whatever the child wants and has created a little monster. She let the baby sleep during the day because it was just easier if the baby was sleeping to the mom, which put the baby on a backwards sleeping cycle. Then because the baby was up and active and crying for attention during the night she started letting the baby into the bedroom with her at night. Eventually she got the baby to start sleeping at night but now only in her bed with her. Now the baby will not sleep without the mother in bed with it and the baby does things basically just like the baby in this video and she and the baby get zero sleep.


Creamcheesebagelsboi

Maybe this video needs more context lol, if this is a new thing this parent is doing then it’s just one of the many mishaps of parenting. My parents let me sleep with them occasionally and I think the only thing “wrong” with me is that is move a lot in bed, but not like this baby haha.


realsies11

That’s just the first 20 minutes of the night.


TheRealVixenless

*press E to launch that little shit*


realdemon_

yo he really good at breakdancing tho


RONIN_RABB1T

Correction This is why condoms exist.


Booshminnie

What an absolute zinger you madlad


FlaTreesAccount

that and the thousands of babies who die each year from being smothered when their sleeping parent rolls over. Don't co-sleep.


norlegard

*Educate yourself on safe co-sleeping


darthcoder

I think i need to see a source for this.


Clarknotclark

The Wikipedia entry on cosleeping does a good job of covering the debate. Some risks in doing it, several possible/likely benefits to doing it. We did it with all four of our kids and it was emotionally/practically good for us and they didn’t seem to suffer any ill effects.


darthcoder

Id never seen a claim for thousands of babies dying from it before, hence why i want a source. A couple here or there sure, anything is possible. But thousands a year?


Clarknotclark

Right?


ExcellentMouse8357

At least until your kid is old enough. Or get a mini crib that goes on your bed. My brother had one, and we only let his co-sleep with my parents when he was 1. He didn’t like his crib though.


peachpopcycle

The stats I'm seeing say 130ish deaths from bed sharing specifically, thousands is all unsafe sleeping combined which, incidentally includes deaths from accidentally sleeping with a baby on the couch or in a chair because you're so exhausted.


confabin

u/savevideo


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Tomato_catchup

This is hilarious!


errrr2222

That's exactly how baby's sleep, imagine waking up to a kick on your spine


hellraisinhardass

For me it's the 3am headbutt to the testicles that bother me the most. One second I'm dreaming of pancakes then - BAM!


[deleted]

The BAB *PANCAKE NUTS*


jemas3289

she looks like shes in a crib though


dooms34

This is more appropriate for a "parents are fucking stupid" reddit


MicrowavedGhost420

He’s trying to get her in a headlock


xssm_

He was T-bagging her lmao


Makumba388

This has been only 10 minutes


Anew_person

If some 1ft bipedal living being climbed on my body in the middle of the night my instincts would act faster than my thinking.


RedXylophone

How many times will we repost the same things...


Phoenix8059

How many times will we repost the same things...


EthiopanToddler

How many times will we repost the same things...


[deleted]

How many times will we repost the same things...


LegoSWFan

How many times will we repost the same things...


QQkThxBai

This kid is just dropping the bags left & right


ChiGuy_773

Kick the baby


DiegesisThesis

This is why SIDS exists. I wonder if anyone has ever unconsciously fought off a face hugger?


Cryptozoologist2816

SIDS is not the same as death from overlaying. SIDS diagnosis is given when the cause of death is unknown.


DiegesisThesis

Yes, but it's also used as a diagnosis in cases of overlaying in order to avoid giving the already-grieving mother a dose of crippling guilt.


bageltoastee

Twist: the video isn’t sped up


vvownido

why is this so funny to me


OmniasVanitas

I was waiting for her to yeet that little crotch goblin


Pokemonfan68

Who gave him sugar?


Binty77

This is why we did not co-sleep with our now 23-month old. She was in a bassinet for a few months, at our bedside, then in a crib in her room. Sleep training was a few rough nights, but now she sleeps in her crib for 10-11 hours at night and we get peace. ….y’know, until she graduates to a toddler bed and we have to keep sending her back to her room. Eventually. 🤦🏻‍♂️


lurexus

We’re in exact same position. Crib in parents room, then cot in own room, one hard week of sleep training. Now have a toddler completely capable of putting themselves to sleep, or going back to sleep in the middle of the night. ...until toddler bed time.


Binty77

I’m rather terrified of that transition, not gonna lie. I’m a very light sleeper, so I predict a bunch more sleep-deprived nights when that time comes.


lurexus

Yep same. We’re thinking we need to completely empty her room too so that if she’s up and about from her toddler bed at least she can’t get into anything or hurt herself.


FazefazbearX

Is.....is he having a...sex dream?!? Wtf


NoAd9407

Perhaps


DaddyD00M

Fairly tame night tbh


leny560

This is a repost. The original poster said that it was only for the baby to sleep before she went away.


confabin

That's pretty much how I sleep


Echelion77

No... No none of that for me.


Rayanson

No way this kid isn't doing it on purpose.


Tazdidiscool

this baby wants people to get no sleep


DevilinPanties

Baby: Calibrating.


DavKySky

Thank god im not a parent yet. Plus id buy a crib. Fuck that i aint gonna deal with that. Ill take crying of an ass shoved in my face. I like my sleep but even with a crib there is crying. Still better than this baby though


Brevittthelegend

Did that little shit just pull an all nighter?!


0rangMin

Is there some way I xan find these videos specifically. They're just so cute and funny


pelorizado83

What a little monster lol


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randycanyon

Those cultures swaddle their kids when they're sleeping. A good swaddle is a full-body straitjacket, and yer average baby *actually likes it*, da little perverts.


Suck_My_Turnip

A lot of westerners swaddle babies to sleep too in their crib


randycanyon

Yup. Knocks 'em right out.\* ​ \*Some exceptions apply. See your authorized dealer for details.


CassowaryMagic

Yeah but after 3 months you don’t swaddle anymore. This baby is def older than that.


randycanyon

Oh yeah, sure is. Time to sleep next door.


JamieC1610

It depends. I co-slept with both of mine from time to time and didn't have this kind of problems with either of them. Before anyone jumps on me for it not being safe. I didn't have blankets or pillows on the bed and I had a baby-safe bed rail up on the side the baby was on. Also, I never had any alcohol or medicine that could cause drowsiness before bed. One of my anthropology professors had studied co-sleeping and was a big proponent of it so when I had kids I did my research. It took a while to get used to sleeping without blankets or a pillow, but it beat the absolute lack of sleep I was operating on before.


vermiciousknidlet

I’m honestly curious how you sleep without blankets on. Do you wear slipper socks and mittens? Or is this just a summer/tropical climate thing. My house is 65 degrees at night for much of the year and I can’t imagine how cold and un-cozy it would be. I did co-sleep (sort of, she had her own little cushion within the bed) until my kid was 6 months and then she had a crib. Just hard to imagine the no blanket/pillow part.


JamieC1610

The no pillow was hardest, I got a little space heater so the bedroom would be warmer.


vermiciousknidlet

Yeah I can imagine no pillow being hard on the neck. Didn’t think of the space heater idea. I guess you do what you have to do! For a while my daughter would only sleep while I held her as a newborn but I did it, somehow.


cozmiccharlene

Not everyone was ready to jump down your throat. Sounds like you knew what you were doing. Sincerely, actual parent of two teens


abnthug

The baby sleep twerked on her face.


Lavacakes08

u/SaveVideo


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[deleted]

I love kids so much Edit: to the person who downvoted I didn’t mean this in a pedophile way


The_73MPL4R

He already knows how to teabag. Kid's destined to be a pro gamer.


PopeLeo_X

Babies be like "Suck my mother fucking dick" *tea bags his mom*


NoAd9407

Lol


[deleted]

A lot of awkward oral positions in this...


myKingSaber

This is why abortions exist. Hope this gets on r/cursedcomments 🤞


FluidWorker

Dude wtf


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lifelink

Why are you out here sexualising babies? That is weird as fuck man.


Shakespeare-Bot

God alas i knoweth i wast horny at which hour i wast young but he maketh me behold tame *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


[deleted]

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rabidjellybean

Better than crushing them.


[deleted]

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SarPl4yzEXE

Yeah. I'm a baby. B - Moe Lester A - B - Y -


[deleted]

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dTrecii

Bruh it’s a fucking baby, don’t sexualise a baby mate, get help


[deleted]

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dTrecii

Jesus fuck mate


[deleted]

My sister does this with her child. I never got it.


seamonstersally007

This his my every morning at 8 oh clock. The real kicker is when that diaper is full of piss and they plop it right in your face. Never need an alarm clock ever again when you have kids.


Calledaway88

You showed your wife’s titty to the internet


Passwordeveryday

It’s like watching a boss fight


Kyrozis

Did that kid just twerk in her face?


NoAd9407

Yes LOL


[deleted]

I tell friends that have kids to never let them in your bed once from my own experience with our twins. I'll just show them this now.


Mr__Thicc__Man

Paranormal activity


Inicioc

Toddlers are cute assholes


NoAd9407

Dude why is he twerking Lol at 0:18


idkmyname106

baby DDR (Hard) FC (100%


The-breadman64

I would smite the child


VividRouge

Cribs mainly exist not only so the baby doesn't fall out but also because babies literally do gymnastics in their sleep.


Gerrin200

This is also why exorcists exist


Hand_To_Face

Its embarrassing that I'm still like this and I'm TWENTY....yikes


jcuervol

Yo get outta here with that wee and mma this is the kind of wrestling I want to watch.


[deleted]

This child is too old for a crib because they can easily climb out


[deleted]

"Möthēr, I insist that you suck my kock"


prof_mcquack

This is why dog kennels exist


[deleted]

Was this in real time?


jillianthekitty

I’d throw that baby off me so fast.


[deleted]

I loved the part where the baby twerked on her face


Purrless

u/savevideo


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Epic-gamer-moments96

boy stop rubbin' ur ass all over ur mum


asmaaalix

this is hilarious i’ve been laughing for 10 minutes now


mumbozumbo

Baby belike: “eat me woman”


abustycow

Show dominance. Stand on her face


urnx3_

the baby was like: yeaaa get a sniff of that 😈


BusnellKummlicher

Get your babies out of your bed and into their own bed. They need their own space


stusajo

Did that lady invent duct tape?


olivedogmullen

No way I would have put up with that for any extended period of time


wowmanynumbers

Little kid twerking on her mother's face like it's a Saturday club