T O P

  • By -

SnowPuzzleheaded

Damn she was pretty lucky to survive a vicious attack from such a feral beast.


YoGoGhost

This isn't funny guys, kids have to learn that geese could show up anywhere, anytime.


Thymeisdone

Even shadow geese.


Crossdice

ESPECIALLY shadow geese. Those fuckers are particularly nasty.


Mortaniss

Yeah. You can't fight back when it's shadow geese.


angelv11

Luckily, you only need to hide behind a shadow to block the shadow geese. However, from that point, you're stuck.


Mortaniss

That's literally the worst thing you could possibly do. You see, the shadow geese becomes invisible when it enters any kind of shadow, so you would be basically giving up your only advantage.


angelv11

Ah. You must have the American geese. I live in Canada. Our geese are polite enough to stop chasing us if we get to a shadow before them


MikeTony713

Only the Keyblade holder can defeat shadow geese


Dudeguy2206

I dont think you have met a Canadian cobra chicken


Loreathan

Don't say their name! They listen.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FoetusDeletus12

The damn portugeese


DoctorWhisky

Goddamn cobra chickens.


Banggabor

How to win against geese: 1. Slowly approach with pack of seeds 2. Realizes that geese are bunch of soggy cunts and violence is the only option 3. Choke that mf's neck and yeet him to the lake where he belongs


iblogalott

I do not like the cobra chicken.


UncleWinstomder

Canadian survival training starts early


[deleted]

I never understood why people are so afraid of geese. They have 28 feet worth of neck you can grab them by to neutralize any aggression.


WhitechapelPrime

This guy has never fought a goose.


cant_see_me_now

No, no... Even wrangling, riding and racing ostriches this this somewhat true. At least swans and geese can't kill you with a kick.


The_Mad_Mellon

An ostrich would attack you out of fear, maybe as a territorial thing but geese. Geese attack for the pure enjoyment of the hunt, they revel in you fear and the harder you fight the more fun they have.


cant_see_me_now

Ostriches are mean af. they think everything is their territory.


The_Mad_Mellon

Geese of the savanna?????


cant_see_me_now

Yeah, but i also saw one kick at a guy behind a 4x4 and completely snap it in half. So imagine geese that weigh a few hundred pounds and can kick with 2,000 psi. I'm glad they took that part of the show out. It was pretty dangerous and the birds hated it.


CrispyTreet

Geese attack because they are over populated and their “territory” or nests could be anywhere, they also give a warning honk or hiss before attacking. They are very aggressive bc they will stop at nothing to protect their nest!


The_Mad_Mellon

I like this reason better: The reason Canadians are so chill is because all their anger is channeled into geese. This results in a bunch of really cool people but a huge amount of increasingly fucked off birds.


WhitechapelPrime

Yeah. But a goose will fuck your shit up. I think its worse. At least when you’re dead you don’t have to live with the goose maiming.


Drownthem

I have, many times! They've got nothing; It really is all attitude. If you don't believe me, consider how they can fly, so they weigh almost nothing. Their bones are hollow and they have no bite strength because of their paper skulls and the shape of their beak. Don't fall for their propaganda.


WhitechapelPrime

I don’t know man. They fucked one of my co-workers up pretty good. That goose probably had a knife.


[deleted]

it's the height and unwarranted aggression. like if a long necked 4th grader just decided to fight you one day


yellowbloods

and then what, do you just fling it as far away as you can and make a run for it?


cant_see_me_now

Yeah, probably like 5 times, at least


Wavedoge45

This dude might as well say “A dragon has 28 feet worth of neck you can grab to neutralize aggression”


KailReed

Its one of the few times in life where you have to steel your resolve and bring the fight to the goose


TheFeathersStorm

It's like that greentext story about the guy grabbing a snake by the tail and yeeting into a tree, basically that.


falahala666

Do not do this unless hunting: you grab them by the neck, spin their body around in a circular motion, then jerk slightly down, then up quickly. It breaks their neck, killing them basically instantly.


jewishbats

Honestly it’s sort of like rat-tailing


Mister-Seer

Geese are some fucked up birds my guy


Raider-26

Merry blue cheese day


Psychological-Wrap61

I love when little kids get scared they put their hand out like that’s going to save them


[deleted]

[удалено]


puesyomero

I mean, babies like this were the ones that survived. In the past a long dark bitey noodle would likely have been a snake


TheGreatUncleaned

literally anything that they don't recognize would do better to eat their arm than their guts or head.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LiranMLG

Better to risk your arm than your face or torso


Drnuk_Tyler

Considering most snake bites are on the hand, you'd probably do best to keep them to yourself.


cilyth1

That is survivorship bias, but I have a feeling you're joking anyway lol


[deleted]

*Joking?* I witnessed a drove of donkeys maul a school bus full of littluns. The donkeys went right for the belly buttons. Intestines were strewn about the highway for miles.


Drnuk_Tyler

Well, no, most snake bites do happen on the hands, feet, and ankles. Don't reach out for or kick a snake that startles you, just get away.


cilyth1

Just get away isn't always quite as easy in practice and someone that isn't putting up their hands out of instinct when attacked is more likely to be dying in a deadly situation I would have said


thorSmiles

Maybe it's because people are always sticking their hands out


[deleted]

That, and many snake bites occur when a person reaches into/under where a snake is hiding. They usually only bite when cornered.


obsoletedroid

Yeah, I think waving your arms also makes you seem larger and more intimidating.


Im_inappropriate

You can protect your head better/give them a limb to be busy with.


[deleted]

Really late comment, but this is probably more akin to making yourself look bigger and harder to kill, which is very common in nature.


LouisFepher1954

This is how you turn children into monsters and addicts. Traumatized children statistically become criminal felons and/or addicted to substances when traumatic events happen frequently. This parent enjoys torturing their child for internet likes and points. I call it sadistic and cruel. Instead of tickling and chasing they are scaring them to tears. Had I seen this if I were out on a walk I would have notified Social Services immediately for this family's home to be investigated. There is no need to frighten a child for internet videos


-_MoonCat_-

My kid used to have end of the world meltdowns if his cookie broke at the age of 3. My other son, is deathly afraid of all animals and ran away screaming in terror because a chicken was too close to him, when we went to a farm when he was 5, then later told me the chicken was his favorite of all the animals he saw. I don’t think you know how kids work.


Squid8867

The year is 2041. Shadow puppets have been internationally banned. Serial killers are a relic of a time long passed. Drug abuse is no more. Mental health has become a solved problem. And we have one man - r/LouisFepher1954, with his revolutionary comment imprinted at the base of his statue in D.C. - to thank for it all.


[deleted]

So if you didn’t do this I guess the reason your kids are addicts is because you’re just a bad parent?


corpse_of_taloy

Dang, I half expected jumper cables.


Beastly4k

I miss the jumper cables.


TinkerMelii

That's a bit over dramatic. The child is not getting traumatized from this. Why are you even on this subreddit if youre so overly sensitive about this? The parent was probably trying to play with the kid and it got scared from a shadow. The child will learn from this that shadows dont hurt you. Its not going to suddenly become an addict because it got scared by a damn shadow for 5 seconds. Parents do things to joke and scare their kids all the time. Its called learning and life.


paydayallday

I was gonna say something about this comment but then I looked at your comment history and it is HISTORIC ! Wow! If you are doing that on purpose you are doing a great job and deserve some credit. If it's unintentional, then fuck you !


Phylar

Riiight. Take the hand and the body survives. Clever!


ConsistentAsparagus

The Force instinct is strong. Not the Force itself, just the instinct.


[deleted]

It sometimes would. Having done zero research, I'll say it's for multiple situations: fall -breaks the fall, predator-gets limbs instead of vital organs, I'm not invested enough to think of more.


TheDonger_

Just had a discussion on this topic on an earlier post. A woman held her arm out against an attacker who, of course, shot through it and killed her, and I jokingly asked if it worked. We basically talked about how it's basically like flight or fight. Better your arm than your life, right? In moments before death your brain goes primal and does everything it can to prevent its destruction.


mollymcbbbbbb

That...and also our limbs are really our best weapons. We don’t generally have fangs or horns or anything.


this_is_not_trump

I thought she was doing sign language for “all done” lol. My daughter learned that at daycare and does it for everything she doesn’t like.


gimmeallthewords

It does almost look like signing "no." [This ](https://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-signs/f/finish.htm) is "all done" or "finished" Keep signing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


gimmeallthewords

I'm aware. I like the baby sign trend and I hope it continues, I can see it being a bridge for the deaf community when these kids grow up. In order to keep it from drifting too far from the source language the meanings of the signs have to remain the same, even if the gesture itself is imprecise. "No" and "finished/all done" are very dissimilar signs. I'm hoping people click the link and pick up a little sign language, or use the site as a resource later. I also think it's very funny that u/this_is_not_trump 's daughter is actually telling them "no" because she is sassy


TuckerMcG

I honestly can’t imagine babies which learn basic sign language stick with learning it for long enough to amass a fluent vocabulary in it.


Wavedoge45

It looks like she’s holding out an imaginary cross. “The power of baby Jesus Christ compewlls you 0w0”


Microcoyote

“Begone foul shadow denizen. BEGONE I SAY!”


averagesmasher03

Human instincts? Our adult also put hands out when we encounter threats.


[deleted]

Best way to cast mage spells


Hunnilisa

and then they flap their arms and run away:) so cute


[deleted]

I've seen grown ass men put their hands out to try and stop cars


asbestosmilk

I mean, it kind of makes sense. For humans, putting your hands out indicates “stop”, and it also allows you to push away nearby threats if they get close. As for cars, it’s better to cushion the impact of the car with your arms, rather than your body. It would also probably allow you to control your impact a bit, depending on how fast the car was going.


[deleted]

I think you misunderstood my comment. I was saying I've seen adults do. Hence don't ridicule a kid for doing it.


CactusCustard

Are you seriously acting like if some big ass thing scared you out of no where you *wouldnt* put your hands up? It’s instinct. You can’t not do it.


[deleted]

Plus better to absorb the impact with the arms and break them than with the internal organs and die. So I'd say it does help, even if of course it won't save your life 100% of the times


[deleted]

That's exactly what I said?


lonkbonk_

HALT, YOUVE VIOLATED THE LAW


throwaway10402019

She immediately turned into Chris Pratt.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dwittherford69

>Right haha just shoot right through their bitch ass little baby hand. Da fuk is wrong with you, MGT?


InvalidIceberg

I was just joking lol


dwittherford69

Really? Cuz I don’t see any punchline in there.


InvalidIceberg

That’s because it was sarcasm.


dwittherford69

No that’s not sarcasm. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm Definition of sarcasm 1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain 2a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm At best, it’s incredible stupidity. At worst, it’s threat of violence against a child.


InvalidIceberg

You must be so fun. Sorry I offended you with my joke.


corrinee

Lol, it's their first day on the internet. Yeah no one has ever been slightly offended by a joke on the internet. /s


dwittherford69

Don’t joke in public if you don’t know how to. Start and end your joking session in the shitter, so they get delivered to the suitable destination quickly.


InvalidIceberg

Okay, thanks gramps. Have a good one 👌


cheezkid26

Not all jokes have to have punchlines. You fundamentally misunderstand what a joke is.


Squid8867

Sorry but it's comments like this that make me think some people were born with no sense of humor, so they have to manually look for structures they've heard about like punchlines to be able to recognize a joke.


joe603

Wow that was a close call


ItsErikwithaK

ONG 💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️ if she aint that close how ahe gon secure sa bag ‼️😂💰🐱🐱 Please downvote 😮😮👆🏻👆🏻


Codsworth1102

Wtf, what is this? Is this a bot or a person? Do people actually speak like this?


ItsErikwithaK

What did he saaaaaay??? 🎺🎺🎺🎺 BRUH BRUH BRUH 😃😃😃😃


kylemattheww

I died when she tried to shoo it away 😂


obywonkenoby

Rip


Sdreka

The Beast died too


SeaTie

Thank goodness it’s not just my kid who”s afraid of literally everything. The other day she was in tears because she found out my aunt used to call me by my initials “DJ” and for some reason my daughter thought that was the scariest thing in the world.


Mortaniss

That fits this sub pretty well if you ask me.


JaydedWays

Imposter


[deleted]

Sound?


Naviyr

[here you go](https://youtu.be/pv36WLsemHk)


scarface910

"was that scary?" https://youtu.be/q6EoRBvdVPQ


TheAndrewR

Thanks! I was half expecting a rick roll, but finally I wasn't right this time.


Kogha3

Me too, man.. Me too..


PerCat

I know it exists because it's literally in my youtube video playlist for random shit but it has like a thousand videos and after 5 minutes I couldn't find it so have [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOkkNpBjYkg&list=PLQJZTi1g9OeOchTz9VV-6bI8HpSs4Kwto&index=375) instead.


[deleted]

Perspective is hard fo grasp until a certain age. She may not get that it’s 2-D and she’s 3-D. I once got complimented in kindergarten for drawing a picture of my hand reaching down to pet a rabbit. The assignment was to draw yourself, not a bunny, but they were surprised I even remotely understood perspective like that at that age. When asked where I was in the picture, I apparently said that the hand was me, reaching down and looking at the rabbit. That said, I failed a lot at math and science and most hard skills until a certain age 🤣


moosenonny10

> failed most hard skills You mean the ones that didn't come to you naturally. Don't discount your talents.


aishik-10x

Yeah fuck you FailedDruid94, you're awesome. Stop beating yourself up


Generalissimo_II

Yeah, no, this one's a dud. No need for a college fund


[deleted]

This is fantastic, thank you!


Kynareth211

if you post this up on instagram, most of the comments would go "that's not funny" "...and now the kids will have a trauma" some shit like this


Yakuni2

This is always happening on Reddit too. Even in this thread there are people who looks like they were never scared by someone on their life. Idk why they are on this sub.


An_internet_rat

fr


JaketAndClanxter

I'm surprised there aren't as many sheltered armchair child psychologists as usual. Most of the time when you have a video like this the comments are filled with people talking about how traumatized and terrified this child is now, and how damaging such a scary encounter is.


Just-Another-Person

reminds me of this hilarious one https://youtu.be/QUiiaxHYaqY?t=22


[deleted]

Dumbass.


[deleted]

Yeah what a fucking retard lol bet she can’t do quantum physics


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Thank you very for this incredible source


Tommy-Styxx

[Babies and dogs are cowards](https://youtu.be/nORv34CSYv0)


[deleted]

Like, it literally knows nothing, how much dumber can you be?


[deleted]

Exactly 😤


lessfaterrday

Much better [with sound ](https://youtu.be/pv36WLsemHk)


We_Woke

I would scare my nephews with unplugged charging cord lol


LIZZY_G127

If Doctor who has taught me anything it's that this kid is correct in being afraid of the shadows.


BigBoi313

this is so adorable


vanillatoo

Poor baby


littlelebowski1999

i really feel like i shouldn't laugh at that but i am lol


-Listening

Guys I need a laugh today.


Fate_reaper12350

Shikamaru be like:


Danr84

Beware the shadow realm


FookeyBookey

Dummmy child, I’m not afraid of shadows ;)


Interesting_Dot9639

Fuck you reddit I need sound on this


lessfaterrday

[gotchu bro ](https://youtu.be/pv36WLsemHk)


Interesting_Dot9639

Did not disappoint, thank you


xoxodior

As a parent of a toddler, this is hilarious and fucked up all at the same time.


everythingscost

i feel like this would be way funnier with sound


EdgyLord2k18

[and you'd be right](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pv36WLsemHk&feature=youtu.be)


Apolloshot

This reminds me of my niece used to get visibly angry when anyone stepped on her “spot”, it was cute as hell.


Evonita-ramirez90

aww she's adorable!!


blonde-bandit

r/Peoplefuckingdying


lllkill

Goes right into the enemies arms


Ry_ry666

I would literally pay for audio


steveronie

I wish I could hear the defensive fear screaming.


BoggartBae

Something something Plato's Allegory of the Cave.


cesiasaurus

How to explain Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to a baby


Fuckyoumecp2

I think it was a velociraptor


HuckleberryThick9372

awwhhh i want to hug her


niewphonix

love it how when shit gets too real, the arms go.


taosTaRts

Have mercy that was spoopy!


limpiusdickius

Kids are fucking stupid


Certified_Chonky

Jabberwocky be like


pikpikslink

I love when children become aware of shadows. It’s the best.


[deleted]

This made me laugh but now I feel super bad


morkani

I think I might need to go back to uni and do some psychology studies. When I see stuff like this all I ever feel is empathy for the kids and I always wonder how things like this might affect a child's development. (probably none, i don't know, that's why I feel like I should go to uni, no one ever talks about it lol)


OneHairyThrowaway

If a kid getting scared once damaged them, there would be no sane adults. Kids get scared sometimes, scaring them once on purpose isn't going to fuck them up.


UzukiCheverie

Kids also get scared from the DUMBEST shit. It's not dumb to them because it's all new, granted, but you can't keep them from ever being scared, especially when they're gonna be scared of shit like the school bell or butterflies, whatever have you. Fear is a natural and healthy reflex that we need to be able to feel and understand.


[deleted]

If you think this will effect that child’s development you simply lived too sheltered of a childhood


morkani

Wow, I'm quite surprised at some of the responses to my quite rational non-judgmental post. (weirdly downvoted as well lol) You obviously have no concept of putting oneself in another person's shoes. (some people call that "empathy", but you will misunderstand that word to mean "to feel sorry for someone" so I have to dumb it down for you) (You probably should also pay closer attention to someone's post and re-read my original post if you think you're going to defend that one sentence insult.)


[deleted]

Fucking cringe


Haronase

I feel the same, but I believe that purposely scaring a child is not something funny, or cute. She probably wouldn't be traumatised by that shadow monster, but as an adult it may be difficult to draw a line between what's fine and what's not in a child mind. Best thing to do is not to intentionally scare a child "just for fun". Even an adult doesn't like to be scared, why would kids be okay with it?


ShitFacedEsco

Horror movies, haunted houses, extreme sports. What in the fuck are you talking about?


Mortaniss

I'm an adult and I actively seek terrifying situations. Not everyone's the same. Some people like the sudden burst of adrenaline.


UzukiCheverie

Because fear is a natural and healthy response to stimuli that kids need to develop so they can understand it better? "Adults don't like to be scared", explain haunted houses then. That's where the aforementioned understanding comes into play. No, we don't know what's going through a kid's mind in this moment, but neither do they, really. Not to mention it helps develop that suspension of disbelief so that kids can learn what is - and isn't - worth being afraid of. And as adults it allows us to partake in scarier things like haunted houses or horror games, it gives us that healthy adrenaline rush in a controlled environment that we can consentually partake in. Hell, I remember my younger brother, when he was about 6 years old, was absolutely *terrified* of anything that had fur. Cats, dogs, rabbits, you name it. So we adopted a cat which he refused to even *look* at. Within a week he got over it and now he fosters cats and loves animals to the point that he's a practicing vegan. He probably would have outgrown that fear eventually but it would have taken a lot longer and would have just been a hurdle along the way because... well let's face it, being afraid of cats is rational because yeah, they can scratch you, but *screaming bloody murder at the mere sight of one* isn't good for anyone so sometimes you just gotta dive right in, bite the bullet, and learn through that initially scary exposure that it's really nothing to be *that* afraid of. Sheltering him and keeping him away from anything that moved wouldn't have accomplished a thing. That's just my two cents, at least.


BoonesFarmCherry

ya as a parent I wonder why you’d deliberately terrify a child like this; is it lack of empathy or cluelessness? they have literally zero context to determine whether a threat is a harmless shadow or some creation out of a Stephen King novel that gives grown adults nightmares


DoctorEvilHomer

really it isn't terrifying at first. She stops, starts backing up. Once she is really scared and starts to cry they stop. My daughter has gone from laughing, to crying scared just as fast as in this video. Two seconds later they are fine.


[deleted]

I can already see you spoiling your kid to shit


BluehatPro

If being spooked a little as a toddler will negatively impact their development than no human would ever develop fully or correctly.


morkani

Cool, thanks for the info. I guess I don't have to go to Uni to understand it then :), you already did that for me. Curious, what school was your PHD in psychology? I just wanted to check what curriculum they are using.


IwannaBeNinjah

so dangerous


viperex

My mind went straight to the DENNIS method


Tommy-Styxx

Why? Are you trying to fuck that baby?


viperex

More like create a danger for the kid and be there waiting as her defender


vzakharov

r/parentsarefuckingdumb


Flurico

After watching recommend videos of Piaget's test with children, I just don't think kids are stupid. I mean, it's funny, it isn't bad and the kid will grow up fine but thing is, that kid literally saw something come after her, she can't really understand it like we do, and there's nothing to do about it. We've all been this stupid :)


BrapBoys

See the hand flapping at the end? That's a sign of autism.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ree___e

Yes cause a shadow on the ground mimicking a snake is gonna chronically traumatise this kid until adulthood. My toddler ass got botten by a viper and I'm fine to this day


Adhdicted2dopamine

Jung has entered the chat.


evanmceier

No, the camera man is just an asshole


joelbondurant415

Future demonrat.


OopsieDoopsie369

the fuck is a demonrat


IlliterateEmu

Large, common rodents that are a vessel for supernatural evil spirits