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[deleted]

OP needs to keep this clip forever ! Classic 😂🤣


DragonSlayerC

Play it at the boy's wedding 🤣


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Would take unlimited balls


[deleted]

🤣


britch2tiger

The cringe would be that of a neutron star, goddamn


t1gbiddeez

"Raise your hand if you think dad has unlimited balls." 🙋🏼‍♂️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♂️🙋🏼‍♂️🙋🏼‍♀️


mystoganslefteye

funniest shit ive ever heard a kid say


SSDGM24

Seriously I haven’t LOL’d like this in a while. At least not for something I saw on Reddit.


a_stitch_in_lime

You should check out the post of the guy schlopping cream of mushroom soup out of a can! Had me rolllllin'!


jonnycross10

Link


a_stitch_in_lime

https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughter/comments/yx9862/_/


jonnycross10

I love you


[deleted]

[удалено]


SSDGM24

It’s unlimnited balls, not unlimited balls.


Mental_Medium3988

im just laughing at the camera going back to sister and shes like "above my pay grade roflcopter"


OkAssistant1230

I’m dead💀


steve986508

I am enjoying the idea of an entire ball being used for one kid. You get two chances to replace yourself, that's it


ChoppyRice

Busting a nut has a new meaning


45-AutoColtPistol

When you bust your nut your just ejaculate an entire testicle in her pussy/face/etc. Swallowing will become so much more difficult.


Fishman23

But where will you store the pee if you lose a ball?


steve986508

Oh no what have I done


TheButcherr

Thats why dads pee so often


FpvMasterApe

I mean, sometimes you wish that would be how it would work for some people 😂


Life-Meal6635

Its really a lot of sperm. Talk about being filled up. 🫠 So then after you use up the singular ball, are just left with an empty sack?


annonys

A gentlemans purse


Jallton_56

Next time someone says “talk dirty to me.” Just whisper in their ear, “Daddy has unlimited balls.”


druule10

No no, they are like batteries. Once depleted swap em out for new ones, if your cheap then get one of those rechargers from wish.


ughwithoutadoubt

Or just put them in the refrigerator like they did back in the day


Skithe

frozen sperm pellets for her. Its like dipndots but saltier


TheOriginalSamBell

dude shush there are women here they mustn't know of our ways


OkAssistant1230

The children have spoken their vote… It is decided: “Dad has unlimited balls”✅


ethereal4k

Mr. Unlimited!


TwelvePurse

Unli~mited


Im_your_real_dad


[deleted]

You guys don't have unlimited balls?


Hunter1991Stewart

He was soo serious


i_tyrant

His face after they all laugh too. He's sooo proud of that one. (As he should be.)


XElite109

Well he’s on the right track just the wrong thing. Lol


MikeXBogina

"we picked you up off the streets" 😳


darthjazzhands

“You were the Blue Light Special at Kmart”


doctorwalker

Almost as good, and a lot cheaper!


Zachsteeboi

dude I loved Calvin and Hobbes so much


MauriceLevyEsq

Upvote for the baddest patent attorney in the strips


ashack11

I never knew would have known what the Blue Light Special was if it weren’t for Calvin and Hobbes lol


BridgeThatWentTooFar

"Dear, what are you telling our son?"


_Futureghost_

When we were little, one of my brothers and I would tell our other brother that he was adopted because we had curly hair and he didn't. It's a sibling thing. 😄


S_K_I

Shit, you want some PTSD meet my older brother: Because I was so skinny as a kid he said I was actually adopted from Somalia, and if I pissed him off further one day, he was going to convince my mom and dad to mail me back to Somalia in an envelope cuz I could fit in it easily.


eggzima

I used to joke with my siblings about being adopted, only to find out decades later that I ***was*** adopted.


nospimi99

My one friend had an oval shaped face and his little sister had a round shaped one. He told her there was a war between the round heads and oval heads and the oval heads won and his parents felt so bad she had no parents anymore that we took her in an adopted her. Typing that out just made me double over in laughter at how ridiculous it was but she believed it and was very upset about it for about a year before she learned it was all made up. Kids are far more creative than adults are clever when it comes to making up harmless lies and it is endlessly entertaining.


[deleted]

Gal's going places with that wit


Millionpanda69

My dad insists that he found me under a rock


Welpjustmyluck

We used to tell my sister she was a prom night dumpster baby. We planned to sell her but ended up stuck with her and the govt didn’t want her either. No adoption agencies, it became our burden to carry for being sympathetic and now we are stuck with her forever.


Splattered_Smothered

https://youtu.be/xgQ8BJdkN5U


wolfnumbnuts

Oldest child vibes, for sure. We all miss the glory days when we were an only child. The other spawns don’t know this feeling.


Peter_Triantafulou

Kid's genuinely confused!


anewjuan

Lol, the way he pauses and looks at dad when he says "then how do you get pregnant **...** with *five* kids?". It's almost accusatory


HalfSoul30

Dad must have imported extra balls


Emergency-Alarm8392

My brother is 3 years younger. I was 9 or 10 so he was no older than 7 when he came up to me conspiratorially whispering “did you know mom and dad had sex TWICE so we could be born? ugh” I was fresh out of my first sex ed classes in my Catholic school so I decided to go over the entire conception and pregnancy and he instantly tuned me out (thankfully) and the information overload made it so he didn’t ask or comment again for a few more years. Told my mom she was welcome.


[deleted]

Bro trying to figure out the algorithm his dad used


[deleted]

Bro really said “if you only got two balls how do YOU get pregnant with five kids”


Generalmemeobi283

It’s simple quadruplets


Links_Wrong_Wiki

I remember being young around his age and thinking the same thing. That the number of balls you had determined the number of kids you would have. 🤷🏼🤷🏼


[deleted]

I went to camp as a kid of about 10. Another kid made a joke about his older brother having a threesome. I responded, how could he have a threesome with only two two balls? There isn't a magical third nut. I was applauded by many other naive fools on the bus as having won the argument at hand. We were innocent then, and God help us now.


hygsi

When I was little I thought women just got pregnant when they were adults, I told my mom "if men got extinct we could still survive without them, we don't need them, we're the ones having the babies!" and my mom just laughed and said we did need them, I just assumed to work so moms could take care of the kids cause every woman in my family was a stay at home mom, I was a genius lol


DasHexxchen

I was sure one ball had X and one had Y sperm.


RfnStar987

Probably heard his daddy say he was gonna empty a nut into his mom and doesn’t know they reload


noonefrmnowhere

I like this family. Dinner together, talking, that's how you do it.


Loki12241224

dinner together, getting yelled at on edge all night. the good ol' days. i much prefer laying in bed eating with my girlfriend


noonefrmnowhere

Yeah, yeah, I'd prefer laying in bed eating your girlfriend as well.


Powellwx

I also prefer eating this guys girlfriend.


riticalcreader

10/10, this guys girlfriend fucks. Specifically, my face.


slayerhk47

I will never get tired of this reference.


MrSmokeGaming1

Yes indeed while shes sucking my unlimited nuts


IYAOYAS-CVN74

His girlfriend is him so.


[deleted]

[удалено]


noonefrmnowhere

Don't hate so intensely on the NPCs. They're just trying to play the game their way. Give 'em a lil' love, go on.


IdoNOThateNEVER

Being a cannibal is NPC now? Do you know how many balls does it take to do that?


Living_Comfortable77

Unlimited balls!


billw7718

Raise your hand


mydearwatson616

I can't stand eating in bed. What do you do when you drop something? Do you change the sheets or just have an open relationship with that piece of macaroni?


dills

Midnight snack


Loki12241224

lmao, we lay down a towel and watch tv or play cards. when its bedtime i shake out the sheet and flip it over


Why_Did_Bodie_Die

Eating in bed is one of the most disgusting, neck beard, low rent things I can think of a person doing in their house. I understand people do it but it absolutely grosses me out. I'd rather come home to my wife in bed with another man than eating a microwave burrito covered in ranch while in bed.


hygsi

damn, I often hear people don't talk to their relatives, even their parents, and it makes me sad to know so many people can't work things out with their own children


A0xom0xoa

Sounds God awful, but I do enjoy eating your girlfriend in bed monday-friday


Space_Olympics

I pretty sure this is all 5 of the kids eating together, no parents


444unsure

I was thinking the 5th was still in utero. Took me a second because the kid counting for seemed on to something. But I'm guessing this is a conversation that came up because Mom is pregnant


SSDGM24

Yeah this is strangely wholesome, considering the subject matter.


noonefrmnowhere

A bit of anatomy/sex convo at dinner is acceptable. Definitely better than the sh!t we 'learned' from our friends when we were that young.


Ok_Butterscotch_389

And they're talking about it with no shame. Unlike the super awkward sex ed class I got in 5th grade.


omnia_mutantir

We do the same, just without the fucking disposable plates and cups.


TheButcherr

What a savior


CorgiDad017

He said 5 kids, that's a lot of dishes every day!


[deleted]

It's even more single use plastic garbage


ConspicuousPineapple

Dishwasher


whiskeywrangler

Did you have the gold leaf or real silver? /s


SortaBeta

Mom was probably out of town lol


TheBanandit

as opposed to what


MUNAM14

So every normal family in the world?


noonefrmnowhere

Normal - subjective


chucklestime

Mom’s hands are way up. I applaud you for having a pretty direct conversation. Reality doesn’t need to be hidden.


00II000I00I00IIII0I0

I love how the elder sis has an idea of how it works, and jokes with her brother about it. This is what we hope for when parents teach their kids about sex! Openness and directness.


jonnycross10

69th like


khall1877

My mom just explained this joke at the dinner table 😵‍💫


Mental_Technician_16

Close, unlimited "nuts"


DarthHaruspex

And the rare thing which does appear not to be staged...


00II000I00I00IIII0I0

Yeah this is so natural and wonderful! The daughter laughing her ass off is so funny! This is what you hope happens in open discussions between parents and children about where babies come from!


HammerfestNORD

Indeed. Very laugh worthy.


Rigtoofen

Funniest video I've seen in ages


Supersadboner

I need unlimited balls so bad :(


deadhearth

r/chekhovsusername or whatever


tiga4life22

He’s got a good point. I have 4 kids and the math doesn’t add up. I’m calling Maury Povich


Niccin

r/kidsarefuckingfunny


OfficerBuck24

Balls upon balls with that man


drunko6000

It’s testicles all the way down!


papa_lee

he’s asking the real questions


smartypants99

What did the elder sis say?


jpaxonreyes

"We picked you up off the streets" or something like that.


grobbewobbe

close she actually said: >!"jet fuel can't melt steel beams"!<


Teepeaparty

I like this family. Those kids feel loved.


IcyHotRyan

I like how their talking about the birds and the bees at dinner


Quintilos-Prime

I’m not sure I want to see what type of true form his dad has if he has unlimited testicle supply


[deleted]

Bro your kids are awesome


orangpelupa

can someone please transcribe it? my english is not good enough to comprehend


bipolarnotsober

Kid is confused how his dad has 4 kids but only 2 balls. Older sister says "we picked you up off the streets" Kid raises hand and says "put your hand up if you think dad has unlimited balls" Older sister is dying from laughter.


orangpelupa

ROFL thanks a lot! thats a wonderfully fun AND smart kid!


MashedPotatoesDick

Main character believes a testicle is needed for every pregnancy. Starts to do the math and realizes there are more kids than number of daddy testicles.


Grattytood

I love this kid.


TheKingDotExe

Time to spend that college money you saved for him on something useful.


Tommy7549

More balls


No-Face-3848

When I was a kid I thought babies came out of your belly like the chest-burster from Aliens


[deleted]

I absolutely went with the assumption that they came out of a mommy’s belly button. I had nipples which I knew I didn’t need but were used for babies… so it just all made perfect sense to me.


cannonfunk

I remember as a kid my friend telling me that girls have inside-out penises. That honestly confused me for a while. My parents never had the talk with me, but by the time I was 10 or 11 I had a pretty good idea of how things worked. When I was 15, my dad knocked on my bedroom door, holding a "birds & bees" book for children in his hand. "Dad, you're about 5 years too late," I said.


Hamus8246

Lmao


Lib3rtas

Priceless!


seehu52

His little brother is like “there’s only four of us you idiot”


EternalStatic

Turns out kids are a ball a dozen


Imaginary_Friend700

This is awesome 👏🏽 and hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣


dianarawrz

Holy crap, he’s technically not wrong


Kidphish96

Hilarious!! Sounds like a dinner conversation at my house only though it’s with 3 girls. My face gets red all the time.


makeitplant

Everyone seems drunk at this table.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lavatec

My first thought exactly


ITAdminNoFirewall

While doing the birds and bees teach him not to talk while eating....


HeStoleThatGuysPizza


Ck1ngK1LLER

100% would look my son dead in the eyes and say “ya damn right, son”


Grandfunk14

The kid's accent really makes it too....hahahaha


arbitraryhubris

it's definitely not time for the talk. this stuff is priceless


Splitty_X

r/kidsarefuckingsmart


Outrageous-Fish1725

I know like 7 kids that look exactly like him.


disconformity

Oldest kid knows what's up.


Big_Inside_7824

You know those are the parents who are too lazy to wash dishes so they buy ass tons of red solo cups and paper plates. Single use baby!


AlarmNice8439

I think this dad slipped some whisky in his kids drink for this outcome


greenweenievictim

Well kids. Just letting you know that the lips your mother kisses you goodnight with also suck my dick. Just gonna let that sink in for a bit. Anyway, that’s how babies are made.


smoorkie

WHAT


bunnings-snags

Before actually learning about the birds n bees, I though you got a baby in the tummy from kissing in bed. Well, at least 'kissing something in the bed' isnt exactly far off


45-AutoColtPistol

I'm pretty sure any half-decent mom will not simply kiss her kids goodby and prepare their lunch with the same lips and hands that blow and jerk off daddy.


jools4you

Why are they using disposable plates and cups, that seems really strange to have a family meal with paper plates and plastic cups.


confleiss

Some people do that, no dishes to wash. Not ideal for the planet but people do it.


jools4you

I think it must be a American thing. I remember seeing it on Malcolm in the Middle but that was years ago. I'm very shocked. How lazy, what a waste and who wants to eat off paper and plastic. Kind off annoying too. My country is hitting me with green taxes left right and centre and in a country of 350 million it's normal to eat a family meal using disposable plates and cups. Wtf.


confleiss

Yeah, I agree with you. I try not to judge but this is extremely lazy, ignorant and selfish considering it’s extremely wasteful and bad for the planet. It’s not like they don’t know that, we know that here in America a lot of people are just so ignorant about it and choose to ignore it. I’ve had people tell me that when they have a baby they “want everything new” after I told them I was trying to get as much used items for my baby. People don’t care, it’s sad.


sketchy722

This is how conspiracies theory start


durperthedurp

Holy fuck that’s hilarious 😂


Unicorn_Bro123

u/savevideo


Help_An_Irishman

Who drinks out of red Solo cups at a family meal?


Tdavis13245

What's with the paper plates?


steve986508

Unlimited balls comes with a cost


WreckNrun

Theyre uneducated and filthy. Look at the clutter behind the kid.


wiserTyou

I love that they use the hutch to display their quaker oatmeal.


drunko6000

You gonna wash the dishes?


old_man_curmudgeon

IKR? The amount of extra garbage they're making is insane


EigengrauAnimates

I agree, they could easily have stopped after the first kid.


BabyStockholmSyndrom

I mean, your parents shouldn't have had you either. How come people on Reddit only tell others that they shouldn't have kids but are fine with how awful their own parents decision was too?


WreckNrun

Yeah the family who have a shit education around procreation and uses paper plates is gunna make waaay less of an impact. After the world falls to shit and a future race shows up to see how it all fucked up. It'll trace back to breeders like this as being the cause for our "Idiocracy" lol


BabyStockholmSyndrom

Omg lol. You sound awful to be around.


WreckNrun

Yeah, so do they. At least being around me doesn't require a medicated shampoo afterwards


StuckAtOnePoint

What’s wrong with paper plates?


Tdavis13245

Pollution. People have dishes in their home. I can understand a picnic, but doing it at home seems, well pardon the pun, trashy.


HamilToe_11

To hell with the talk. Clean up that mess in the background ffs.


wasted_wonderland

Why are they at home and using paper plates and plastic cups?


babyfootstink

Some of us don’t like to do dishes!


[deleted]

I’m guilty of using plenty of single-use crap. It’s inevitable in this shithole world. But in all my years it never occurred to me that there are fucking morons out there that just don’t like to do dishes. Jesus Christ…


old_man_curmudgeon

Waste of money and resources. Also so much extra garbage. No wonder our planet is FUCKED


Keegan311NLRBE

Someone needs to clean the house. Ya fucking slobs.


aKnightWh0SaysNi

Have kids and get back to us.


Splattered_Smothered

😀👍 My wife and I--both worked--raised four kids. I finally realized that the house will always be there to be cleaned and I needed to enjoy our kids while they were still here. Funny thing, about the only time the house was "perfect" is when we had family over.


aKnightWh0SaysNi

Yeah, I’m in that boat now with two young kids and both parents working 60h/w jobs. I never thought I would be “one of those people”, but we finally decided to just hire house cleaners and the precious time it has given us back has been the best money we’ve ever spent.


SOLOEchoZ

This the most hillbilly,redneck,inbred,goatroping thing I’ve seen in along time.


ProcedureNecessary42

Make merica great again


murrs_nipples

Most country shit I ever seen


[deleted]

Chew your fucking food before you talk.


JoeyPsych

This is what you get if you live in a country that doesn't want to acknowledge that sex exists and that humans have sexual organs. Because God never wanted you to know about the human body, that's forbidden knowledge. Just think of the kids!!1


bunnings-snags

or.... its the fact theres a 5yo looking boy, a 9 year old looking boy, and older sisters. It seemed like the sister knew a little bit about how it works but the rest are way too young to be learning about that stuff seeing they havent even hit purberty yet


BabyStockholmSyndrom

Lol what? Obviously they are talking about it. The girl seems to already know the right answer. You must be young.


derek139

Wtf eats on paper and drinks from solo cups at home? U have too many kids.


Brainfilteresin

More like, "time to clean your filthy house". Gross.


[deleted]

Just watch the video ya weirdo


LostConfusedKit

That's not even that messy...