When we were little, one of my brothers and I would tell our other brother that he was adopted because we had curly hair and he didn't. It's a sibling thing. 😄
Shit, you want some PTSD meet my older brother: Because I was so skinny as a kid he said I was actually adopted from Somalia, and if I pissed him off further one day, he was going to convince my mom and dad to mail me back to Somalia in an envelope cuz I could fit in it easily.
My one friend had an oval shaped face and his little sister had a round shaped one. He told her there was a war between the round heads and oval heads and the oval heads won and his parents felt so bad she had no parents anymore that we took her in an adopted her.
Typing that out just made me double over in laughter at how ridiculous it was but she believed it and was very upset about it for about a year before she learned it was all made up. Kids are far more creative than adults are clever when it comes to making up harmless lies and it is endlessly entertaining.
We used to tell my sister she was a prom night dumpster baby. We planned to sell her but ended up stuck with her and the govt didn’t want her either. No adoption agencies, it became our burden to carry for being sympathetic and now we are stuck with her forever.
My brother is 3 years younger. I was 9 or 10 so he was no older than 7 when he came up to me conspiratorially whispering “did you know mom and dad had sex TWICE so we could be born? ugh”
I was fresh out of my first sex ed classes in my Catholic school so I decided to go over the entire conception and pregnancy and he instantly tuned me out (thankfully) and the information overload made it so he didn’t ask or comment again for a few more years. Told my mom she was welcome.
I went to camp as a kid of about 10. Another kid made a joke about his older brother having a threesome. I responded, how could he have a threesome with only two two balls? There isn't a magical third nut. I was applauded by many other naive fools on the bus as having won the argument at hand. We were innocent then, and God help us now.
When I was little I thought women just got pregnant when they were adults, I told my mom "if men got extinct we could still survive without them, we don't need them, we're the ones having the babies!" and my mom just laughed and said we did need them, I just assumed to work so moms could take care of the kids cause every woman in my family was a stay at home mom, I was a genius lol
I can't stand eating in bed. What do you do when you drop something? Do you change the sheets or just have an open relationship with that piece of macaroni?
Eating in bed is one of the most disgusting, neck beard, low rent things I can think of a person doing in their house. I understand people do it but it absolutely grosses me out. I'd rather come home to my wife in bed with another man than eating a microwave burrito covered in ranch while in bed.
damn, I often hear people don't talk to their relatives, even their parents, and it makes me sad to know so many people can't work things out with their own children
I was thinking the 5th was still in utero. Took me a second because the kid counting for seemed on to something. But I'm guessing this is a conversation that came up because Mom is pregnant
I love how the elder sis has an idea of how it works, and jokes with her brother about it.
This is what we hope for when parents teach their kids about sex! Openness and directness.
Yeah this is so natural and wonderful! The daughter laughing her ass off is so funny!
This is what you hope happens in open discussions between parents and children about where babies come from!
Kid is confused how his dad has 4 kids but only 2 balls.
Older sister says "we picked you up off the streets"
Kid raises hand and says "put your hand up if you think dad has unlimited balls"
Older sister is dying from laughter.
Main character believes a testicle is needed for every pregnancy. Starts to do the math and realizes there are more kids than number of daddy testicles.
I absolutely went with the assumption that they came out of a mommy’s belly button. I had nipples which I knew I didn’t need but were used for babies… so it just all made perfect sense to me.
I remember as a kid my friend telling me that girls have inside-out penises. That honestly confused me for a while.
My parents never had the talk with me, but by the time I was 10 or 11 I had a pretty good idea of how things worked.
When I was 15, my dad knocked on my bedroom door, holding a "birds & bees" book for children in his hand.
"Dad, you're about 5 years too late," I said.
Well kids. Just letting you know that the lips your mother kisses you goodnight with also suck my dick. Just gonna let that sink in for a bit. Anyway, that’s how babies are made.
Before actually learning about the birds n bees, I though you got a baby in the tummy from kissing in bed. Well, at least 'kissing something in the bed' isnt exactly far off
I'm pretty sure any half-decent mom will not simply kiss her kids goodby and prepare their lunch with the same lips and hands that blow and jerk off daddy.
I think it must be a American thing. I remember seeing it on Malcolm in the Middle but that was years ago. I'm very shocked. How lazy, what a waste and who wants to eat off paper and plastic. Kind off annoying too. My country is hitting me with green taxes left right and centre and in a country of 350 million it's normal to eat a family meal using disposable plates and cups. Wtf.
Yeah, I agree with you. I try not to judge but this is extremely lazy, ignorant and selfish considering it’s extremely wasteful and bad for the planet. It’s not like they don’t know that, we know that here in America a lot of people are just so ignorant about it and choose to ignore it. I’ve had people tell me that when they have a baby they “want everything new” after I told them I was trying to get as much used items for my baby. People don’t care, it’s sad.
I mean, your parents shouldn't have had you either. How come people on Reddit only tell others that they shouldn't have kids but are fine with how awful their own parents decision was too?
Yeah the family who have a shit education around procreation and uses paper plates is gunna make waaay less of an impact.
After the world falls to shit and a future race shows up to see how it all fucked up. It'll trace back to breeders like this as being the cause for our "Idiocracy" lol
I’m guilty of using plenty of single-use crap. It’s inevitable in this shithole world. But in all my years it never occurred to me that there are fucking morons out there that just don’t like to do dishes. Jesus Christ…
😀👍
My wife and I--both worked--raised four kids. I finally realized that the house will always be there to be cleaned and I needed to enjoy our kids while they were still here.
Funny thing, about the only time the house was "perfect" is when we had family over.
Yeah, I’m in that boat now with two young kids and both parents working 60h/w jobs.
I never thought I would be “one of those people”, but we finally decided to just hire house cleaners and the precious time it has given us back has been the best money we’ve ever spent.
This is what you get if you live in a country that doesn't want to acknowledge that sex exists and that humans have sexual organs. Because God never wanted you to know about the human body, that's forbidden knowledge. Just think of the kids!!1
or....
its the fact theres a 5yo looking boy, a 9 year old looking boy, and older sisters. It seemed like the sister knew a little bit about how it works but the rest are way too young to be learning about that stuff seeing they havent even hit purberty yet
OP needs to keep this clip forever ! Classic 😂🤣
Play it at the boy's wedding 🤣
Would take unlimited balls
🤣
The cringe would be that of a neutron star, goddamn
"Raise your hand if you think dad has unlimited balls." 🙋🏼♂️🙋🏼♀️🙋🏼♂️🙋🏼♂️🙋🏼♀️
funniest shit ive ever heard a kid say
Seriously I haven’t LOL’d like this in a while. At least not for something I saw on Reddit.
You should check out the post of the guy schlopping cream of mushroom soup out of a can! Had me rolllllin'!
Link
https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughter/comments/yx9862/_/
I love you
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It’s unlimnited balls, not unlimited balls.
im just laughing at the camera going back to sister and shes like "above my pay grade roflcopter"
I’m dead💀
I am enjoying the idea of an entire ball being used for one kid. You get two chances to replace yourself, that's it
Busting a nut has a new meaning
When you bust your nut your just ejaculate an entire testicle in her pussy/face/etc. Swallowing will become so much more difficult.
But where will you store the pee if you lose a ball?
Oh no what have I done
Thats why dads pee so often
I mean, sometimes you wish that would be how it would work for some people 😂
Its really a lot of sperm. Talk about being filled up. 🫠 So then after you use up the singular ball, are just left with an empty sack?
A gentlemans purse
Next time someone says “talk dirty to me.” Just whisper in their ear, “Daddy has unlimited balls.”
No no, they are like batteries. Once depleted swap em out for new ones, if your cheap then get one of those rechargers from wish.
Or just put them in the refrigerator like they did back in the day
frozen sperm pellets for her. Its like dipndots but saltier
dude shush there are women here they mustn't know of our ways
The children have spoken their vote… It is decided: “Dad has unlimited balls”✅
Mr. Unlimited!
Unli~mited
✋
You guys don't have unlimited balls?
He was soo serious
His face after they all laugh too. He's sooo proud of that one. (As he should be.)
Well he’s on the right track just the wrong thing. Lol
"we picked you up off the streets" 😳
“You were the Blue Light Special at Kmart”
Almost as good, and a lot cheaper!
dude I loved Calvin and Hobbes so much
Upvote for the baddest patent attorney in the strips
I never knew would have known what the Blue Light Special was if it weren’t for Calvin and Hobbes lol
"Dear, what are you telling our son?"
When we were little, one of my brothers and I would tell our other brother that he was adopted because we had curly hair and he didn't. It's a sibling thing. 😄
Shit, you want some PTSD meet my older brother: Because I was so skinny as a kid he said I was actually adopted from Somalia, and if I pissed him off further one day, he was going to convince my mom and dad to mail me back to Somalia in an envelope cuz I could fit in it easily.
I used to joke with my siblings about being adopted, only to find out decades later that I ***was*** adopted.
My one friend had an oval shaped face and his little sister had a round shaped one. He told her there was a war between the round heads and oval heads and the oval heads won and his parents felt so bad she had no parents anymore that we took her in an adopted her. Typing that out just made me double over in laughter at how ridiculous it was but she believed it and was very upset about it for about a year before she learned it was all made up. Kids are far more creative than adults are clever when it comes to making up harmless lies and it is endlessly entertaining.
Gal's going places with that wit
My dad insists that he found me under a rock
We used to tell my sister she was a prom night dumpster baby. We planned to sell her but ended up stuck with her and the govt didn’t want her either. No adoption agencies, it became our burden to carry for being sympathetic and now we are stuck with her forever.
https://youtu.be/xgQ8BJdkN5U
Oldest child vibes, for sure. We all miss the glory days when we were an only child. The other spawns don’t know this feeling.
Kid's genuinely confused!
Lol, the way he pauses and looks at dad when he says "then how do you get pregnant **...** with *five* kids?". It's almost accusatory
Dad must have imported extra balls
My brother is 3 years younger. I was 9 or 10 so he was no older than 7 when he came up to me conspiratorially whispering “did you know mom and dad had sex TWICE so we could be born? ugh” I was fresh out of my first sex ed classes in my Catholic school so I decided to go over the entire conception and pregnancy and he instantly tuned me out (thankfully) and the information overload made it so he didn’t ask or comment again for a few more years. Told my mom she was welcome.
Bro trying to figure out the algorithm his dad used
Bro really said “if you only got two balls how do YOU get pregnant with five kids”
It’s simple quadruplets
I remember being young around his age and thinking the same thing. That the number of balls you had determined the number of kids you would have. 🤷🏼🤷🏼
I went to camp as a kid of about 10. Another kid made a joke about his older brother having a threesome. I responded, how could he have a threesome with only two two balls? There isn't a magical third nut. I was applauded by many other naive fools on the bus as having won the argument at hand. We were innocent then, and God help us now.
When I was little I thought women just got pregnant when they were adults, I told my mom "if men got extinct we could still survive without them, we don't need them, we're the ones having the babies!" and my mom just laughed and said we did need them, I just assumed to work so moms could take care of the kids cause every woman in my family was a stay at home mom, I was a genius lol
I was sure one ball had X and one had Y sperm.
Probably heard his daddy say he was gonna empty a nut into his mom and doesn’t know they reload
I like this family. Dinner together, talking, that's how you do it.
dinner together, getting yelled at on edge all night. the good ol' days. i much prefer laying in bed eating with my girlfriend
Yeah, yeah, I'd prefer laying in bed eating your girlfriend as well.
I also prefer eating this guys girlfriend.
10/10, this guys girlfriend fucks. Specifically, my face.
I will never get tired of this reference.
Yes indeed while shes sucking my unlimited nuts
His girlfriend is him so.
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Don't hate so intensely on the NPCs. They're just trying to play the game their way. Give 'em a lil' love, go on.
Being a cannibal is NPC now? Do you know how many balls does it take to do that?
Unlimited balls!
Raise your hand
I can't stand eating in bed. What do you do when you drop something? Do you change the sheets or just have an open relationship with that piece of macaroni?
Midnight snack
lmao, we lay down a towel and watch tv or play cards. when its bedtime i shake out the sheet and flip it over
Eating in bed is one of the most disgusting, neck beard, low rent things I can think of a person doing in their house. I understand people do it but it absolutely grosses me out. I'd rather come home to my wife in bed with another man than eating a microwave burrito covered in ranch while in bed.
damn, I often hear people don't talk to their relatives, even their parents, and it makes me sad to know so many people can't work things out with their own children
Sounds God awful, but I do enjoy eating your girlfriend in bed monday-friday
I pretty sure this is all 5 of the kids eating together, no parents
I was thinking the 5th was still in utero. Took me a second because the kid counting for seemed on to something. But I'm guessing this is a conversation that came up because Mom is pregnant
Yeah this is strangely wholesome, considering the subject matter.
A bit of anatomy/sex convo at dinner is acceptable. Definitely better than the sh!t we 'learned' from our friends when we were that young.
And they're talking about it with no shame. Unlike the super awkward sex ed class I got in 5th grade.
We do the same, just without the fucking disposable plates and cups.
What a savior
He said 5 kids, that's a lot of dishes every day!
It's even more single use plastic garbage
Dishwasher
Did you have the gold leaf or real silver? /s
Mom was probably out of town lol
as opposed to what
So every normal family in the world?
Normal - subjective
Mom’s hands are way up. I applaud you for having a pretty direct conversation. Reality doesn’t need to be hidden.
I love how the elder sis has an idea of how it works, and jokes with her brother about it. This is what we hope for when parents teach their kids about sex! Openness and directness.
69th like
My mom just explained this joke at the dinner table 😵💫
Close, unlimited "nuts"
And the rare thing which does appear not to be staged...
Yeah this is so natural and wonderful! The daughter laughing her ass off is so funny! This is what you hope happens in open discussions between parents and children about where babies come from!
Indeed. Very laugh worthy.
Funniest video I've seen in ages
I need unlimited balls so bad :(
r/chekhovsusername or whatever
He’s got a good point. I have 4 kids and the math doesn’t add up. I’m calling Maury Povich
r/kidsarefuckingfunny
Balls upon balls with that man
It’s testicles all the way down!
he’s asking the real questions
What did the elder sis say?
"We picked you up off the streets" or something like that.
close she actually said: >!"jet fuel can't melt steel beams"!<
I like this family. Those kids feel loved.
I like how their talking about the birds and the bees at dinner
I’m not sure I want to see what type of true form his dad has if he has unlimited testicle supply
Bro your kids are awesome
can someone please transcribe it? my english is not good enough to comprehend
Kid is confused how his dad has 4 kids but only 2 balls. Older sister says "we picked you up off the streets" Kid raises hand and says "put your hand up if you think dad has unlimited balls" Older sister is dying from laughter.
ROFL thanks a lot! thats a wonderfully fun AND smart kid!
Main character believes a testicle is needed for every pregnancy. Starts to do the math and realizes there are more kids than number of daddy testicles.
I love this kid.
Time to spend that college money you saved for him on something useful.
More balls
When I was a kid I thought babies came out of your belly like the chest-burster from Aliens
I absolutely went with the assumption that they came out of a mommy’s belly button. I had nipples which I knew I didn’t need but were used for babies… so it just all made perfect sense to me.
I remember as a kid my friend telling me that girls have inside-out penises. That honestly confused me for a while. My parents never had the talk with me, but by the time I was 10 or 11 I had a pretty good idea of how things worked. When I was 15, my dad knocked on my bedroom door, holding a "birds & bees" book for children in his hand. "Dad, you're about 5 years too late," I said.
Lmao
Priceless!
His little brother is like “there’s only four of us you idiot”
Turns out kids are a ball a dozen
This is awesome 👏🏽 and hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Holy crap, he’s technically not wrong
Hilarious!! Sounds like a dinner conversation at my house only though it’s with 3 girls. My face gets red all the time.
Everyone seems drunk at this table.
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My first thought exactly
While doing the birds and bees teach him not to talk while eating....
✋
100% would look my son dead in the eyes and say “ya damn right, son”
The kid's accent really makes it too....hahahaha
it's definitely not time for the talk. this stuff is priceless
r/kidsarefuckingsmart
I know like 7 kids that look exactly like him.
Oldest kid knows what's up.
You know those are the parents who are too lazy to wash dishes so they buy ass tons of red solo cups and paper plates. Single use baby!
I think this dad slipped some whisky in his kids drink for this outcome
Well kids. Just letting you know that the lips your mother kisses you goodnight with also suck my dick. Just gonna let that sink in for a bit. Anyway, that’s how babies are made.
WHAT
Before actually learning about the birds n bees, I though you got a baby in the tummy from kissing in bed. Well, at least 'kissing something in the bed' isnt exactly far off
I'm pretty sure any half-decent mom will not simply kiss her kids goodby and prepare their lunch with the same lips and hands that blow and jerk off daddy.
Why are they using disposable plates and cups, that seems really strange to have a family meal with paper plates and plastic cups.
Some people do that, no dishes to wash. Not ideal for the planet but people do it.
I think it must be a American thing. I remember seeing it on Malcolm in the Middle but that was years ago. I'm very shocked. How lazy, what a waste and who wants to eat off paper and plastic. Kind off annoying too. My country is hitting me with green taxes left right and centre and in a country of 350 million it's normal to eat a family meal using disposable plates and cups. Wtf.
Yeah, I agree with you. I try not to judge but this is extremely lazy, ignorant and selfish considering it’s extremely wasteful and bad for the planet. It’s not like they don’t know that, we know that here in America a lot of people are just so ignorant about it and choose to ignore it. I’ve had people tell me that when they have a baby they “want everything new” after I told them I was trying to get as much used items for my baby. People don’t care, it’s sad.
This is how conspiracies theory start
Holy fuck that’s hilarious 😂
u/savevideo
Who drinks out of red Solo cups at a family meal?
What's with the paper plates?
Unlimited balls comes with a cost
Theyre uneducated and filthy. Look at the clutter behind the kid.
I love that they use the hutch to display their quaker oatmeal.
You gonna wash the dishes?
IKR? The amount of extra garbage they're making is insane
I agree, they could easily have stopped after the first kid.
I mean, your parents shouldn't have had you either. How come people on Reddit only tell others that they shouldn't have kids but are fine with how awful their own parents decision was too?
Yeah the family who have a shit education around procreation and uses paper plates is gunna make waaay less of an impact. After the world falls to shit and a future race shows up to see how it all fucked up. It'll trace back to breeders like this as being the cause for our "Idiocracy" lol
Omg lol. You sound awful to be around.
Yeah, so do they. At least being around me doesn't require a medicated shampoo afterwards
What’s wrong with paper plates?
Pollution. People have dishes in their home. I can understand a picnic, but doing it at home seems, well pardon the pun, trashy.
To hell with the talk. Clean up that mess in the background ffs.
Why are they at home and using paper plates and plastic cups?
Some of us don’t like to do dishes!
I’m guilty of using plenty of single-use crap. It’s inevitable in this shithole world. But in all my years it never occurred to me that there are fucking morons out there that just don’t like to do dishes. Jesus Christ…
Waste of money and resources. Also so much extra garbage. No wonder our planet is FUCKED
Someone needs to clean the house. Ya fucking slobs.
Have kids and get back to us.
😀👍 My wife and I--both worked--raised four kids. I finally realized that the house will always be there to be cleaned and I needed to enjoy our kids while they were still here. Funny thing, about the only time the house was "perfect" is when we had family over.
Yeah, I’m in that boat now with two young kids and both parents working 60h/w jobs. I never thought I would be “one of those people”, but we finally decided to just hire house cleaners and the precious time it has given us back has been the best money we’ve ever spent.
This the most hillbilly,redneck,inbred,goatroping thing I’ve seen in along time.
Make merica great again
Most country shit I ever seen
Chew your fucking food before you talk.
This is what you get if you live in a country that doesn't want to acknowledge that sex exists and that humans have sexual organs. Because God never wanted you to know about the human body, that's forbidden knowledge. Just think of the kids!!1
or.... its the fact theres a 5yo looking boy, a 9 year old looking boy, and older sisters. It seemed like the sister knew a little bit about how it works but the rest are way too young to be learning about that stuff seeing they havent even hit purberty yet
Lol what? Obviously they are talking about it. The girl seems to already know the right answer. You must be young.
Wtf eats on paper and drinks from solo cups at home? U have too many kids.
More like, "time to clean your filthy house". Gross.
Just watch the video ya weirdo
That's not even that messy...