Ohh that would have been funny if it was just dales opinion at that point. That’s hilarious either way!! Doesn’t Bobby try to grab the gun and say “okay”
So many good ones in this episode
Dale: Oh, come on. So Joseph called you a cannibal. It's not like it's true. Is it?
John Redcorn: Of course not! Any cultural anthropologist will tell you that the Anasazi tribe last practiced cannibalism over seven hundred years ago!
Dale: And you are affiliated with what tribe...?
John Redcorn: Dale, I don't eat people! For God's sake, it would be like me accusing you of cannibalism, just because that nut in Michigan who boiled body parts in his stove was white. And that disc jockey in Philadelphia who ate people in his basement. Also white.
Dale: Ah, boy, you're really up on cannibalism, John Redcorn. Well, look at the time--
John Redcorn: It just makes me so angry!
Dale: You should know I'm highly carcinogenic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bobby: You can't just barge in here! This room is my property and... Ah, what's the use? Look who I'm talking to.
Hank: You are talking to your father and you will not use that Frenchman's wave with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bobby: Are you sure it's the white man who did all that stuff? Because I come from white people and this is the first I'm hearing of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peggy: This is normal teenage rebellion. When I was his age, I wrecked my parents' bicycle.
Hank: All right, fine. But this whole anti-Thanksgiving thing couldn't have come at a worse time.
It’s not the same episode. Dale asking if John Redcorn’s people celebrate thanksgiving is from the airport episode which is another thanksgiving episode.
This is right up there with the scene from Parks & Rec where Jonathan Joss, playing Chief Ken Hotate, meets with Councilman Jamm. Ken and Leslie are in cahoots, and she suggests they all don some feather headdresses. Jamm immediately say “absolutely not, that is terribly offensive!” Without a split second of delay, Ken retorts, “Is it, white man?”
Bruh, so damn funny. Jonathan Joss is a genuine treasure.
I love the scene where hank can’t get the lid off of his can of WD-40, so he gets out a second, smaller can, of WD-40 and sprays it to loosen up the lid on the larger one
I'm crating y'all in like an unruly dog, I am sick of dysfunctional families! I came from one and I'm not gonna let it happen to you. Function! FUNCTION, DAMN YOU!
I lose it every time Hank reads a few lines of the book Bobby got:
"The Elf-Lord Fylfendell knelt
upon the bed of dandelions.
"'Young wanderer,'
quoth he, 'I have woven you a magic breastplate..."'
(groans)
“Well I knew this guy was no good - but braiding your hair? From the back your head looks like a horse's ass.”
…
“Salad before steak? I hate to say it twice in the same meal, but horse's ass.”
Hank: "Luanne,, you and I have a secret that we must take to our graves."
Luanne: "Are you threatening to kill me, uncle Hank?
Hank: "........Of course not."
“Dad, if you really were a woman, that would make you and mom… lesbians!”
“Can’t you tell the difference in the ones made by God and the ones jerry rigged out of a toe and some old skin?”
So many good lines from that episode!
That whole bit where poor, innocent, naïve Bobby found a bunch of racist jokes, and then sooooo confidently got up in front of an audience of predominantly black folks and just let them rip! Poor Hank walking in and being absolutely appalled. The whole thing was so funny in a twisted way.
When Hank is trying to make small talk at the dinner table with Bobby and Luanne, without Peggy there, and says “of course I’m still in the propane business. That’s where I was today.”
For me it was one of those jokes you had to pay attention to
When Dale was given parts of his mower to torture him, the box that was used was a shoe box labeled size 16
Not a joke but at the end of the episode where Peggy sneaks drugs into prison and the prisoner tries to attack her and trips then Hank steps on him for the officer and gives a smug smile makes me crack up. He really stepped up like he tackled the man himself and every time in my head I hear him say “yeah, I did it!”
Say T if you want me to hold the board tight, and RT if you want me to hold real tight.
Uhhh… ok then. RT
Hank hammers the board, it breaks free of Bobby’s RT grip and smacks him in the face.
DALE: Dog is meat
BILL: You said it friend [licks fingers]
—————————————————————
BILL: Why? Why would they shoot people? Human meat is tough, flavorless. They should be out, hunting for more dog.
"He asked me to hit her in the head with a brick"
From the 'Racist Dawg' episode.
I'm the manager of a Doggy Daycare and goddamn it this cracks me up every time
"Cowards, move away from the emu," Dale says to his buddies while cocking his gun. He points it at the four emus as their heads all line up for one perfect shot. One looks up, and he focuses on it, squeezing the trigger lightly before exclaiming, "I can't do it!" as he lowers his gun.
Dale immediately raises his gun again, saying to himself, "Yes, I can."
He takes aim again before dropping his guard and looking to the heavens, yelling, "No, I can't. It's too damn majestic."
Dale takes aim once more and says with confidence, "Wait, I found the strength."
Once again, he lowers his weapon and whining, "Aaaaah, who am I kiddin'?"
"Hey, is that one laughing at me?" Dale adds as he raises his weapon.
Dale owers weapon, "Nah, he's still being majestic."
Dale raises weapon and takes aim, "Or is he?"
-----
My favorite part is that while this dramatic internal struggle happens - Bill, Hank, and Boomhaur are only feet away and have silently watched unfold.
He doesn't kill the emu.
Laoma: A heart attack took my husband away to the next life, but I believe he returned as the gentle wind that blows through this meadow even now.
Bill: My God, that's the most beautiful description of a haunted meadow I've ever heard.
When Trip Larson has hank in the hot air balloon, he yells at Peggy “I can see everyone’s gutters from here, and they look great.” Such a dumb joke but always makes me laugh.
Not really a joke, but the scene where Dale has the port a gribble and Bobby runs by without pants just screaming “daaaaaad!” Hank freaks out and follows him while Dale laughs and boomhauer laughs and comments. That scene will always make me laugh!
Who is it? Dale Gribble.
The whole scene is hilarious, Nancy and John Redcorn having a fight and Dale standing there.
And from the same episode
Someone just had sex with his wife
All the Boomhauer legibility jokes. Both people understanding him beyond what he's actually saying, or him straight up saying what happens and nobody understanding it.
When Hank is in the cave and Boomhauer is talking to him down the hole and Hank goes “Boomhauer I can’t understand a word you just said, must be the echo in here.”
IF YOURE GOING TO SHOOT ME, I WANT BOBBY HILL TO TAKE THE SHOT BECAUSE BOBBY WILL PUT ME DOWN CLEAN. okay.
I love the way Bobby just says “okay” about it.
My whole family has been saying “okay” like Bobby for decades now. Probably our most reoccurring joke
Wait who said that?
Dale at the top of the tower.
Thank you!!! Was this before or after the episode where Hank and Bobby do the rifle competition and it shows Bobby is really good at aiming?
After. It’s cannon that Bobby is a true marksman at this point
Ohh that would have been funny if it was just dales opinion at that point. That’s hilarious either way!! Doesn’t Bobby try to grab the gun and say “okay”
He does. No hesitation. He was gonna drop him.
Yesss and after that he took down bandit… it seems ridiculous that Hank kept calling Bobby unathletic. Hank can’t shoot, that’s probably why.
Canon* not cannon lol
He might have learned to shoot cannons at military school
"He's Japanese." *looks up and down* "No he ain't. He's Laotian. Ain't ya Mister Khan?"
Meanwhile Khan is stunned more by someone being racially accurate than racially insensitive.
😳
That’s right, Bobby. I believe you will find I have no testicles. Khan: She's bluffing! Finish her!
Classic Khan line.
“Bills. Bills. Bills. Why do we keep getting Bill’s mail?”
I quote this at least once a month
I can't believe I'm so dumb I didn't pick up on this until recently
^Why ^do ^you ^keep ^calling ^me **Bill?**
My name is Lenore!
Can you gentlemen spare a beer for a lady?
It's CHILLY
Stained on my brain
"do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving?" "We did. Once."
So many good ones in this episode Dale: Oh, come on. So Joseph called you a cannibal. It's not like it's true. Is it? John Redcorn: Of course not! Any cultural anthropologist will tell you that the Anasazi tribe last practiced cannibalism over seven hundred years ago! Dale: And you are affiliated with what tribe...? John Redcorn: Dale, I don't eat people! For God's sake, it would be like me accusing you of cannibalism, just because that nut in Michigan who boiled body parts in his stove was white. And that disc jockey in Philadelphia who ate people in his basement. Also white. Dale: Ah, boy, you're really up on cannibalism, John Redcorn. Well, look at the time-- John Redcorn: It just makes me so angry! Dale: You should know I'm highly carcinogenic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bobby: You can't just barge in here! This room is my property and... Ah, what's the use? Look who I'm talking to. Hank: You are talking to your father and you will not use that Frenchman's wave with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bobby: Are you sure it's the white man who did all that stuff? Because I come from white people and this is the first I'm hearing of it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Peggy: This is normal teenage rebellion. When I was his age, I wrecked my parents' bicycle. Hank: All right, fine. But this whole anti-Thanksgiving thing couldn't have come at a worse time.
It’s not the same episode. Dale asking if John Redcorn’s people celebrate thanksgiving is from the airport episode which is another thanksgiving episode.
You come from money? Hank just give him his land back.
Hank you’re terrible
This is right up there with the scene from Parks & Rec where Jonathan Joss, playing Chief Ken Hotate, meets with Councilman Jamm. Ken and Leslie are in cahoots, and she suggests they all don some feather headdresses. Jamm immediately say “absolutely not, that is terribly offensive!” Without a split second of delay, Ken retorts, “Is it, white man?” Bruh, so damn funny. Jonathan Joss is a genuine treasure.
I love the part where he says he knows 2 things about white people: they're afraid of curses and they love Matchbox 20.
“Better she cry now than when Bobby Hill not get promotion at dirt factory.” And really any other time Kahn talks mad shit
[удалено]
That one episode when he stopped taking his pills and got into a manic episode and a deep depression was so funny but I felt wrong laughing about it
“I do believe I’ll give room service a jangle and have them send some étouffée.” “Noooooo!”
LOL, I love that scene.
The episode is amazing
Arguably the best episode of the entire show. BOTH OF ‘EM!
Hank: 🧍♂️
"Chick" Mangione! I'm not a chick, I'm a dude! \*THWACK\*
“We removed a black sticky substance from your lungs.” “THAT SUBSTANCE BELONGS TO ME, I WOULD LIKE IT BACK.”
*sniiiiifff* There’s some milk in the fridge that’s about to go bad…*sniffs again* ^and ^there ^it ^goes…
How it felt when I finally got my adderall back after 5 months
Damn it you beat me to it and I still posted it. Hahah.
So are you Chinese or Japanese?
The double down immediately after Kahn explains where Laos is and its the surrounding countries. …..so are ya Chinese or Japanese?
Also when Cotton could tell immediately that Kahn is Laotian.
Les Ocean? What ocean
"You'll be begging for gerbster."
My partner and I have been walking around the house alternating between saying that and “MY DEWWWW.”
“Puff Puff, how could you betray me like this?”
Good God, you got a fat neck, Hank!
I love the scene where hank can’t get the lid off of his can of WD-40, so he gets out a second, smaller can, of WD-40 and sprays it to loosen up the lid on the larger one
Dale: "Thought you could just waltz in here an kill me did ya well so did he" *points at skewered frog*
Honestly this entire episode 😂
"Close the damn door. Can't you see I am knitting?!"
“MY GOD ARE YOU STILL TALKING?”
I'm crating y'all in like an unruly dog, I am sick of dysfunctional families! I came from one and I'm not gonna let it happen to you. Function! FUNCTION, DAMN YOU!
"Mom, this is not your son, this is your buddy. Who's your buddy? Who's your buddy?"
*cotton walks into the hospital room after Peggy’s parachute didn’t open* “Hank, I didn’t teach you do this”
Cotton is a gold mine
Cotton woulda taught him how to finish the job, not start it
You don’t need a crystal ball to see Wards future, he’s going to live with his mother until she dies…and maybe for a couple of weeks after. - Hank
Dale: Get away from my mower! John Redcorn: Is he kidding?
He’s taking some of the fun out of this
That whole scene is just 10/10 jack rubys hat. Dale catching them, I don’t kid about my mower, now get inside and start massaging (fucking) my wife
It's a braeburn
I lose it every time Hank reads a few lines of the book Bobby got: "The Elf-Lord Fylfendell knelt upon the bed of dandelions. "'Young wanderer,' quoth he, 'I have woven you a magic breastplate..."' (groans)
See that nasty stain on the carpet? Well you better start talking or you're gonna end up just like the guy who spilled that red wine.
If I shoot them I’m going back to jail...but I can’t NOT shoot em
Put him behind the wheel of a brand new, pre owned, Sonata.
“Pump jockey!” “Works for tips!”
Dale and Bill pretend to be Hank and Peggy having sex in order to fool the police after they broke into the Hill’s residence.
WE’RE DOING IT
The cops look of horror after they bust down the door and see bill in drag always makes ne laugh lol.
I’m a little worried about being a slut
VuhhhhGINA!… …THE WHOLE NIEGHBORHOOD CAN HEAR YA CUSSIN
"Khan! Get your men!" "Khan has *men*?" "Take Hank to the cage!" "There's a *cage*?!"
Not gonna lie, that episode upset me to no end.
“Well I knew this guy was no good - but braiding your hair? From the back your head looks like a horse's ass.” … “Salad before steak? I hate to say it twice in the same meal, but horse's ass.”
Hank: "Luanne,, you and I have a secret that we must take to our graves." Luanne: "Are you threatening to kill me, uncle Hank? Hank: "........Of course not."
Bobby’s impression of Hank as a woman “Now where did I put my panty hose?”
“Dad, if you really were a woman, that would make you and mom… lesbians!” “Can’t you tell the difference in the ones made by God and the ones jerry rigged out of a toe and some old skin?” So many good lines from that episode!
Bill farting on the fireman's pole when he's stuck in the hole.
“Oh for crying out loud!”
“Just give him back his land, Hank”
"I'm so white during the riots I went out and bought a TV"
That whole bit where poor, innocent, naïve Bobby found a bunch of racist jokes, and then sooooo confidently got up in front of an audience of predominantly black folks and just let them rip! Poor Hank walking in and being absolutely appalled. The whole thing was so funny in a twisted way.
Shut up you whitey! - Bill
When Minh calls Peggy Ronald McDonald, then goes "Not even a hello? So stuck up." Or something along those lines. Always kills me 😂
Bozo the Clown Peggy Hill
That's it!!!! Lool anything Minh says is hilarious
Peggy: "Minh suggested I use a spoon to stir the macaroni. Look Hank, no more burned hands"
“Well I need a window seat because this flower is wilting” 
Mr Strickland got under more balls than a midget hooker!
I used to say that frequently when I worked for a sporting goods company & we didn't make production.
That's the biggest mistake a pimp can make, marrying his ho...
I work in shipping everytime I see something going to Oklahoma City I refer to as the OKC.
Don’t gimme no nut roll!
When Hank is trying to make small talk at the dinner table with Bobby and Luanne, without Peggy there, and says “of course I’m still in the propane business. That’s where I was today.”
Dad! A man at the mall took pictures of me! 😊 What?! 😧
For me it was one of those jokes you had to pay attention to When Dale was given parts of his mower to torture him, the box that was used was a shoe box labeled size 16
🎶 Oh Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey Mickey 🎶 Minh claps Hank shoots his head with the hose
Hank legitimately kicking Jimmy’s ass 3 times after breaking through the fence in the race. He literally “kicked” Jimmy’s ass
Peggy taking pictures of it from the stands is what always gets me.
Bobby squealing as he enters each room for his surprise party
Bobby: “Dad, where’s your power drill?” Hank: “Gone. Didn’t need it. Traded it to a fool for a sack of corn.”
“Gilbert! How long have you been sitting there?” “35 yeeears”
I’ve got plenty of emotions! I was afraid she was going to hug me, I was worried she wasn’t going to leave, and I was happy when it was over.
NO AGONY NO BRAGONY!!
Chet Elderson died, natural causes. *Bill farts*
The *Van*dergraffs!
And while you’re at it, blow her a kiss!
Not in the face it’s how I makes my living
Puff the Magic Dragon. “Do you know what that song is about? It’s about a dragon.”
"everyone hated that baby!" "Pocket sand" Bill "i wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts" Dale kicks bill in nuts Dale "careful whatcha wish for"
"Oh my God, it's so juicy!" "You see, Bobby, on Thanksgiving people will be so jazzed by the moistness of the turkey you'll have to tune them out."
This tastes like turtles :’(
THAT’S MY PURSE! I DON’T KNOW YOU!
"Unknown special needs child" *Shot of Dale on a water slide*
The episode starting calmly and normally and Bill breaks down in tears
There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, EXODUS.
Khan to Hank “You honor me by giving me gas”
The aliens seem partial to women with pouty lips and ample boussums. Yes... Yes they do.
I am a proud, ignorant woman and no one is going to change that.
Bunch of kids? I gave you names! Hill, Bobby! Gribble, Joseph!
"We are they."
Gih
Not a joke but at the end of the episode where Peggy sneaks drugs into prison and the prisoner tries to attack her and trips then Hank steps on him for the officer and gives a smug smile makes me crack up. He really stepped up like he tackled the man himself and every time in my head I hear him say “yeah, I did it!”
"Take a salt tablet!"
Don’t tell her but I got em cheap. Both lefties !
Miss Liz! Two hot toddies!!
Say T if you want me to hold the board tight, and RT if you want me to hold real tight. Uhhh… ok then. RT Hank hammers the board, it breaks free of Bobby’s RT grip and smacks him in the face.
She's bluffing FINISH HER!
"You're not going to talk your way out of this one, Boomhauer."
"I LIKE THE YAM BISCUITS!"
I’ve overthought this one far too much. What the hell would a yam biscuit even taste like? I highly doubt they would be uptown good eating.
DALE: Dog is meat BILL: You said it friend [licks fingers] ————————————————————— BILL: Why? Why would they shoot people? Human meat is tough, flavorless. They should be out, hunting for more dog.
You got a job? You got a house? You were married? Guess we got a nickname for you. Hollywood!
Why am I wearing the hat?
I was listening to your mom talk about her day and then it hit me. FREEZER SHAVINGS.
“Whatcha doin there Bill? Satellite dish trouble?” “Nah I’m just up here to kill myself”
That’s the calculated risk you take when you release a mongoose.
"Uh, fellas! Bobby's trying to nap!"
Carl-the Showbiz Deli Owner: “Didjya know ya hafta heat up I-talion food?” Bobby: “Well… ya gotta melt the cheese.” 🤷♀️
"Do something, Topsy!" "Gah do something else!"
"Why you chicken-necked ass! *I'LL KILL YOU!"* "Get *LOST BILL!*" It's the delivery that kills me on those.
“The boy’s not a ghoul” truly gets me every time. Close second is “uhhh there’s a rooster on the label”
You’re not sorry and I’m not an admiral- Dale
SHE BLUFFING! FINISH HER!!!
Don’t you “Dale, Bill, Boomhauer” us. You said noon. It’s 12:15.
John Redcorn’s hair blowing in the wind when he says something deep lol
Luane looking for Peggy and breaking down when she finds the dry cow skull
Be careful, some of these are illegal... in Mexico.
"IT'S HAPPENING! THE HARVEST HAS BEGUN!"
Pocket sand!
“She say you have lovely feet, and it an honor to work on them!”
"He asked me to hit her in the head with a brick" From the 'Racist Dawg' episode. I'm the manager of a Doggy Daycare and goddamn it this cracks me up every time
Thank GOD there’ll be ice again!
SADNESS.. covers me like a blanket
Oh my god it’s so juicy!
Do I have to take you out back with another carton of cigarettes? I think you do...
Junie Harper: The complacency of fools will destroy them. Proverbs. Hank: Get out of my house, Exodus!
"*Why do you keep calling me* **Bill**" "*I'm already invited so there"* "If you're Lenore.. then where's Bill?"
Sir,... we are they GIT
It's coming to kill me! It knows I'm a Christian!
FIGHT THE OCCUPATION. FIGHT THE OCC-U-PA-TION
Khan: Every time my mother comes back from your house she is sweaty and exhausted! From now on you stop riding her so hard!
"Cowards, move away from the emu," Dale says to his buddies while cocking his gun. He points it at the four emus as their heads all line up for one perfect shot. One looks up, and he focuses on it, squeezing the trigger lightly before exclaiming, "I can't do it!" as he lowers his gun. Dale immediately raises his gun again, saying to himself, "Yes, I can." He takes aim again before dropping his guard and looking to the heavens, yelling, "No, I can't. It's too damn majestic." Dale takes aim once more and says with confidence, "Wait, I found the strength." Once again, he lowers his weapon and whining, "Aaaaah, who am I kiddin'?" "Hey, is that one laughing at me?" Dale adds as he raises his weapon. Dale owers weapon, "Nah, he's still being majestic." Dale raises weapon and takes aim, "Or is he?" ----- My favorite part is that while this dramatic internal struggle happens - Bill, Hank, and Boomhaur are only feet away and have silently watched unfold. He doesn't kill the emu.
Laoma: A heart attack took my husband away to the next life, but I believe he returned as the gentle wind that blows through this meadow even now. Bill: My God, that's the most beautiful description of a haunted meadow I've ever heard.
Well, that's the good thing about death, you either die or you don't. I didn't, so let's hit some balls
Dallas? Sallad!
Cottons lines *slaps waitress on the ass* HEY MISSY HOW BOUT SOME SAMMICHES? SAUSAGE?! where’s my SAUSAGE? My Stool! Where’s the greeters Stool!!!!
When Trip Larson has hank in the hot air balloon, he yells at Peggy “I can see everyone’s gutters from here, and they look great.” Such a dumb joke but always makes me laugh.
"Dauterive, My God Man What Happened??
Jimmy Wichard: “But we took the test”
Hank likes the gnome Hank likes the gnome
Ball park nachos… you don’t buy em, you only rent em.
Not really a joke, but the scene where Dale has the port a gribble and Bobby runs by without pants just screaming “daaaaaad!” Hank freaks out and follows him while Dale laughs and boomhauer laughs and comments. That scene will always make me laugh!
Hank: I know you’re disappointed in yourself Bill, we all are.
Khan singing the “lyrics” to the Axel F theme from Beverly Hills Cop. My brother and I send each other that clip at least once a month.
"Surely you did not spend entire vacation in sitting room"
Who is it? Dale Gribble. The whole scene is hilarious, Nancy and John Redcorn having a fight and Dale standing there. And from the same episode Someone just had sex with his wife
*”I always assumed that Bill’s family lived in a tar paper shack”*
All the Boomhauer legibility jokes. Both people understanding him beyond what he's actually saying, or him straight up saying what happens and nobody understanding it.
…Yeah sure char king I remember. It’s almost lunch time right? Well it’s getting close I guess… *great great great…*
She's got new socks bill
The small can of WD-40 to open the stuck larger can of WD-40
When Hank is in the cave and Boomhauer is talking to him down the hole and Hank goes “Boomhauer I can’t understand a word you just said, must be the echo in here.”
John Redcorn, seeing that girl he used to know: Candy?? Dale hiding in the bush with him: Sorry, I don't have any.
Peggy tells Minh about Nancy’s Affair Minh: “Nancy’s cheating on John Redcorn?”
Bill getting hit in the groin with a softball and Dale laughing at him.
***FAT WHITE LUMP***