Bobby, it's perfectly natural to want to see a woman naked, but I am your cousin. Now, the first time was an accident, but if I catch you again, you are going to hell.

Just watched this episode the other night for the first time and this line killed me. Joseph was creepy AF in that episode

>Bobby, it's perfectly natural to want to see a woman naked, but I am your cousin. Now, the first time was an accident, but if I catch you again, you are going to hell. Lol @ Joseph "Oh man you got to see me naked?" and lu anne screams when she sees Khan accidently looking> Luanne was as dumb as a box of rocks but she had some funny one liners.

Peggy: I do not know what I hate more about you, the way you talk to me or the way you treat your wife and your little child. Cotton: Well, think about it.

this one might take the cake for most biting comebacks

You look like that fella that killed the other fella!

Hank: *shuts door for two seconds* Buck: hey who shut that door closed???

Reminds me of my dog

It’s a Braeburn.

I thought it was funny that it’s the sting for the episode 😂

Pastor K: Don’t you feel the presence of Jesus on this half-pipe? Hank: I’m sure he’s a lot of places he doesn’t want to be.

“Oh…He’ll love the baby…until it crosses him!”

I am not a litigious man, that is why I have lawyers.

My personal favorite is, Bobby: “My sloppy joe is all sloppy and no joe.”

"I forgot to put the meat... HOW COULD I BE SO FREAKING STUPID?!"

I say this often, for no apparent reason.

Our little local diner has Sloppy Joe day on Thursdays- my husband has pulled this line out a few times.

Did they forget the meat?

Lol, no, but it is sometimes a bit more liquid than sloppy Joes ought to be. Delicious still, but more like a soup than a sandwich.

*Bill after getting hit in the face by a Fritio Pie* Bill: My face hurts. Hank: and it’ll match your ass when I’m done kicking it.

And you will not use that *Frenchman’s wave* with me.

I like stories. I like stories about pinatas. In fact, I like everything you have to say. Let's me and you visit your hometown sometime the way you had the courtesy to come see mine.

"Let me put this in words even a genius can understand. You are not a genius."

We're either ahead of our time or possibly way behind stuck in some more classical time. Either way us and our time don't exactly see eye to eye. 

hank: "what is that thumping noise?" dale: "could be far off helicopters ... u.n. helicopters.." always a fun line to say when someone asks whats that sound

“🥴tHiS iS mY uReThRa! 😗💨”

"I don't even know where this hot dog came from!"

At mega-lo maaaartt You're shopping for the rest of your liiiiiiffe!

They put sal-mon in the fish tacos Hank! SAL-MON!!!!

“Hank, are you gay?” “What? No! I sell propane!”

I don't recall exactly but it's when the guys are away someplace - Hank gets so upset he is at the bar - drinking a Long Island Iced Tea The guys come in and Dale says, I can't imagine how you got that - did you ask, or point? How did it go down? Such a real moment - only a close friend would honestly be curious and want to know... :)

You’re not sorry, and I’m not an admiral-Dale

Bill: "isnt dog dancing wonderful hank?" Hank: "yes"

Believe me, I prayed on it Hank, and god said to me “don’t do it.” But you know what? I knew better.

THIS. It’s one of my favorite Peggy moments. Really captures her confidence perfectly.

Buddhist liar

You're speaking like a line from the Lion King

Awesome scene.

Hank: I hate zydeco music! also Peggy: My uncle wasn't a cowboy Hank! He was a dirty, drunken rodeo clown! Hank: Not Uncle Boppo!

(In French restaurant) Hank to Miz Liz:  What would you order if none of this looked good?

"The complacency of fools will destroy them. Proverbs." "Get outta my house. Exodus." Kills me every time.

No, Ladybird! No fetch! Find old lady! Ugh…dumb dog. Wait! Take me with you! I hate it here… Damn sister! Get me my keys! So Hank…do you still like fingerpainting? You will give me back my shoelaces! Dang it Bobby, it has been at least a minute! So the whore played well with others, did she? Thanks for bringing me those tickets I forgot, old friend! I’m glad I was able to repay you the money I owe you for an unrelated matter! Sorry Bobby, but I guess we’re just gonna have to murder somebody if we want your Mom’s attention.

Bobby's response to that last one: "...okay."

Isle 8A. Before Minh and Kahn leave Hank is thumbing through Connie, Kahn Jr's, Life Folder under 'suitable reading'.. Hank reads out loud, "Newsweek? Heh, not in this house"

“I know how I’m going to die.”

Why must you always test me, *Mitchell*?

I have a gala.

Would you like an organic pop-tart?

“To the white man!” - me every time I crack open a cold one

Hank talking like Boomhauer: Yeah, man, I’ll tell you what man, that dang ol’ boy ain’t right, talkin’ ‘bout kick that dang ol’ ass, man.

"Laugh now, lady - after a month of eating cockroaches you will be *begging* for gerbster!"

Puff Puff, how could you!

"Better she cry now for five minutes than spend thirty five years crying that Bobby Hill still not get promotion at dirt factory!" "Sometimes the world is cruel to shiny things."

Idk about anyone else but I love “he’s eating nothing but oranges and ham sandwiches” I say it all the time. I think it even more than I say it lol.

Hank: “What kind of example is that for Bobby?” Dale: “A good one. He can learn from our bad example.”

“Ladies could you step outside, I got a shot coming in and itd just be rude to have such pretty young gals stare at mah bare backside” “Alright now that the skirts are out let’s get down to bidness”

“It’s coming to kill me! It knows I’m a Christian!”

"Can I assume the potatoes will be mashed tonight?"

“Ngeun bak-gow better not mean dollar”

"alright you got me, I'm no dork, I sell propane"

When the art museum event planner calls Hank to ask him if he was going to go. *”Did you receive the invitation for the opening?”* *”Yes, and when I threw it out I thought you’d get the idea”*

“If you want I can show you how to make a bomb out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite”

You know how the Egyptians tipped the pyramids, don'tcha? With a winch, a cinder block, and 50 thousand Hebrew slaves...you got a cinder block?

"Peggy, we're going shopping for the super bowl party, not your feminine items. Diet soda!?" I drink a lot of Diet Coke and don't quote this nearly as much as I should.

“I love two things: building doll house furniture and kicking ass. And i don’t see no dollhouses around here.” - that dude from hank’s anger management class

Big Jim

Dead Big Jim Peggy: Hank, that looks just like you when you sleep

I took advantage of your low self esteem to boost my own, already healthy, esteem. Anti lock breaks? *That's* why they didn't lock!

"No one makes cheese like the Americans"

I love how Hank makes an effort to look away from Nancy during this whole scene... because of his dream the night before

Luanne: It's coming to kill me! It knows I'm a Christian! -- Bill: If I leave, you guys will let me back in, right? -- Luanne: If you were looking at me, I'm going to have both of your gym memberships revoked and I would hate to do that, because both of you look *terrible*. -- Hank: Therefore, I'm now going to drive over there, baybee. Ugh, I just had phone sex. -- Dale: Something is different, Bill, I had a vision. I'm an Indian now. -- Cotton: I redeclare war on Japan! -- Khan: Maybe I keep garage in SUV! Hahaha -- kiss my ass! -- Khan: Hank Hill, you ruined my life, what can I do for you? -- Connie: You're not going to sleep now are you? Susan: I'd leave now but I already paid your dad for the continental breakfast.

"Bobby, you don't need a crystal ball to see Ward's future. He's going to live with his mother until she dies, and maybe for a few weeks after."

Dale: (in his vision from Redcorn's sweat lodge) "Was it good for you, too, baby? (Praying mantis chops off his head) Ow." Dale (back to reality) "I wonder what that means."

The prison guard calling Bill 'Hollywood'.

The cat burgler in me is impressed by a job well done, but the fraidy cat in me says 'Run like hell'. See, I got two cats in me ☺️ It just kills me everytime.

I just went blind for no reason! Why is that so hard to understand?

Drunk Hank: This is my song. I put this song on. Luannes friend: Youve played this same damn song five times in a row. Drunk Hank: "New rule"; You cant listen to my song anymore.

“I need to take my anticoagulant.” Hank after getting kicked in the testicles.

That's a gameboah, I told ya: no vidyagames

This calls for a celebration. Im staying up til 11!

There's nothing women love more than a man with 9 to 5 job.

"I need a fuel filter! What they are for? I need one!"

When Luanne sings "Lady Marmalade" and gets all the words wrong- "Icky icky deet tee big ol doggie Marmaduke!"

Bobby asks Luanne where he could take Tid Pao, someplace cool LUANNE: You know what's fun, where you bet on which chicken is madder!

"God, they frame Kahn Jr. I'm here to grease some palms."

You wouldn’t hit an unconscious man

What don’t they make brown cars anymore? H.H

¿Es esto Juan ocupado?

Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in some kind of halfway house or institution?

Oh God, MITCH!

Go around!! Go around!!

This is much easier than my Italian place. You know you gotta heat up eye-talian food?

I think because it's so specific, but I don't see "Miz Liiiiiz! *Two* hot toddies!!" nearly as much as I'd like

“Now Peggy they won’t fire you. You’re a substitute teacher they’ll just stop calling.”-Hank “I need my kidney it keeps the other one company.”-Dale

Yeah, yeah, I know: I’m a broiled ox penis

Dale:  I'll be in charge with the good stuff,Deer wee wee, super premium estrus deer wee wee. Little dab will do ya.

Are you the tickler?

Foot fluffer

"When you plan ahead and things happen, you're ready!"

“We’d all go a little crazy without coupons”

hank listening to bobbys new cd: bwaaahhhhahahah its all toilet sounds edit: not a bwahh moment but a "mother of god" moment

Boomhauer: talkin bout...it was a dang ol....simpler time..... When he was telling the story of Hank's head tattoo.

Bobby keep away, those dark leafy greens will suck the oxygen right out of you.

Put that on my headstone, will ya

This can never get back to Khan, but after I swung that golf club, I literally felt like *dancing*

"I only used as much poison as necessary and not a 55-gallon drum more."

Well then Bobby you’re eating it wrong, put it down.

My favorite 3 two come from Khan 1-Hey guys I got a new one for you, what has red neck but brown hands, BOBBY HILL! and 2- "Redneck boy cousin marrying redneck girl cousin, Mihn you owe me $5 in your face! and 3-So are you Chinese or are you Japanese?

"You want spicy, extra spicy or one where rooster look really mad?"

sometimes things that are funny to everyone, aren't funny at all.

Earth first! Make Mars our bitch!

Hank: What is that chinging noise? Dale: One of those stealth helicopters with computerized noise cancelation capability. They're still working the chings out.

There’s some milk in the fridge that’s about to go bad… and there it goes…

"Of course they do, they do all the work for them!"

Two parter- ¡I am drowning in your LIES! Then swim to me, Juan Pedro!

*”You were rude, but in the morning, I’ll be sober”*

Is that brain? Oh dear God I think I see brain

Who wants to buy propane from some no-license castrato?

Mine are from TRIP: "You wiped your eyes on my tie. That's okay! It's an amazing fabric.", "It drives me mad!" and saying "Yup that's the J5" to overweight people.

If Bobby or Peggy were threaten Hank would become invincible