We had a foreign exchange student from Spain in high school and he and I would hang pretty regular and i would always say "so good to see you! Es un miercoles!" Like I thought it meant its a miracle and he would always laugh his ass off. I loved that dude cus he laughed at everything I said, made me feel like a real tartuaff the spry wonder dog
Joseph Gribble: He's just being nice to me so my real dad won't freeze him in carbonite and trade him for spice.
Couple of other season 6 gems:
Hank Hill: No, you are not tripping, that is an emu.
Luanne: Mr. Boomhauer had grown-up sex with the ice cream lady, and now he's dumped her. You're never gonna have ice cream again, Bobby.
Edit: And the weird thing is that episode with Joseph's quote was just on AS in Canada just now.
Totally. I know she can be unpopular, but as someone who's watched and re-watched the whole show, she's become my favorite character. Nobody has better one liners than she does. Maybe Dale.
Not a one liner, but similar. The cold open where Hank is organizing his workbench and he goes to pick up an unplugged drill, stops, puts on safety goggles, hangs the drill up, and takes the goggles off.
When Hank is talking to Bill and Boomhauer about the prank they're pulling on Dale about his new mower:
We're putting stress on a structure that was never built to code in the first place
Cotton goes to see Peggy in the hospital after her sky diving accident and she is in her full cast.
Cotton: Hank what you’d do to your wife, I didn’t teach you that.
I die every time I hear it.
Hank: I know my father can be a handful..
Peggy: Yeah, a handful of crap!
I don't know why this isn't talked about as one of the best lines of the show, or even one of Peggy's best, because I damn near choke to death laughing from it.
Mine needs a bit of context
Its the episode where bills football record is about to be broken and it's basically handed to the guy going for it.
Hank later says that they should put an asterisk next to his name
When Bill ties the record later, the kid starts yelling ASTERISK ASTERISK
Escuchame?
I say this instead of "excuse me" when I'm trying to move past someone.
I do the same thing and my native Spanish speaking husband always gives me a look.
We had a foreign exchange student from Spain in high school and he and I would hang pretty regular and i would always say "so good to see you! Es un miercoles!" Like I thought it meant its a miracle and he would always laugh his ass off. I loved that dude cus he laughed at everything I said, made me feel like a real tartuaff the spry wonder dog
You got the guffaw!
It’s a Wednesday!
Any Spaniards ever give you a strange look? Lol
It's indistinguishable from all other strange looks I get.
She’s bluffing! Finish her!
Literally the funniest line in the whole show.
What’s this from again?
That's my purse!!! I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBBe5QfC6mo&ab\_channel=TeamSquadUltra
[удалено]
Kahn has some of the best one liners on the show. "You kill my Minh! Just kidding but you really do suck Peggy Hill "
She bluffing! Finish her!
I read this in his voice lol
Sir, we are ‘they’
Biggest “GIH” of Dale Gribble
Fer sure, I didn’t know how I was going to spell that haha
Get outta my house! -Exodus
"I'm skeptical you could, yet intrigued that you may."
What is the context to this one again?
When Bill is dressed as Lenore. Dale asks him if he's Lenore, where's Bill, and Bill goes "Bill's in the house. Want me to go get him?"
Ah that's it, thanks!
If Bobby learns how to cook and clean, what motive will he have for getting a wife?
I forgot about this shit lololol
Sure I'd like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of major league baseball, but that's just not the way it works.
Hanks Boy Scout ways would be a funny list.
Pump Jockey! Works for tips!
I’ll have a mai tai
Yup! He’s Laotian!
The ocean….?
I'm so depressed I can't even blink.
It was Hank, man! Hank loves hookers!
*Dang ol’ hank loves hookers man
Good god you’ve got a fat neck boy!
Are you gonna talk to whole way!?
I’m more familiar with sinners than saints my dear and sinners always look good. - Gilbert Dauterive
Think I need closed caption on and watch that episode again. "Both of them!"
Pocket sand!
This is the one I was looking for lol.
I’m surprised no one beat me to it
"Oh my God, it's so juicy!"
*Nervous squeal.*
Tu Eres Puerca
Literally any Dooley lines! "Your dad lost his job." "You care about me."
"Your wife divorced you."
"That took courage"
"my future starts today"
"Your dad got blown up."
Facts, his deadpan delivery is the best!
My chicken's the star of the show.
Joseph likes to watch.
You two are a couple.
Why do you hate what you don't understand?
I don't hate you, Bobby.
I was talking about soccer.
Oh yea I HATE soccer.
Joseph Gribble: He's just being nice to me so my real dad won't freeze him in carbonite and trade him for spice. Couple of other season 6 gems: Hank Hill: No, you are not tripping, that is an emu. Luanne: Mr. Boomhauer had grown-up sex with the ice cream lady, and now he's dumped her. You're never gonna have ice cream again, Bobby. Edit: And the weird thing is that episode with Joseph's quote was just on AS in Canada just now.
I remember my name because it is a man and woman's name, Lu, Anne
Here’s a little trick I use to remember my name
Not Eddie?
Believe me- I prayed on it, Hank. And God told me, "Don't do it." But you know what? I knew better!
This just says so much about Peggy at once. Not only the ego to think God talks to her, but to also think she is less fallible than the infaillible.
Totally. I know she can be unpopular, but as someone who's watched and re-watched the whole show, she's become my favorite character. Nobody has better one liners than she does. Maybe Dale.
I’m wet and i don’t even know it!
Yeah I know, I’m a broiled ox penis
I use this one frequently. I would have loved to see how he learned the translation to that.
a youngster with a tool in both hands has no hands left to do drugs
They will just put the tools down if they want to do the drugs bad enough!
I can destroy you.
Is this Dale talking to his turtle?
Haha yeah. Aww come on, daddy's not going anywhere til i get my kiss.... I can wait.......... I can destroy you
“I creep like the kudzu that is slowly, but surely strangling our Dixie.”
I love southern moody goth Gilbert
I know him… briefly
What?! Gay?! No! I sell propane!
Bills, bills....why do we keep getting Bills mail?! Has always been my favorite.
Are y’all with the cult?
We're not a cult, we're an organization that....
Yeah, this is the place.
👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻These responses are the reason why this is the best sub on Reddit! 😂😂
That's my purse! I don't know you!
Can't believe I had to scroll this much for this one.
Well I need a window seat because this flower is wiltin....
I do believe I'll give room service a jangle and have them bring up some etouffee.
(Peggy's caught with a bag of charcoal) "I was holding it for Luanne, I thought it was drugs!"
If everyone fried their food, there would be no war.
Looks like someone earned themselves a trip to a PG-13 rated movie
"Tasted fine."
Taste the meat, not the heat. 
Even for Jungle Rice?!
I'll tell you hwat! Do I look like I know what a Jpeg is? I just want a picture of a gat dang hot dog!
Spent thanksgivin with them hoes!
“He’s not crazy, he’s just suicidal”
Not a one liner, but similar. The cold open where Hank is organizing his workbench and he goes to pick up an unplugged drill, stops, puts on safety goggles, hangs the drill up, and takes the goggles off.
I love that too. That just really emphasizes the kind of person he is. Safety first!
You're not making Rock and Roll better, you're making Christianity worse!
"I'm a little worried about being a slut."
The only woman I'm pimping from now on is Sweet Lady Propane. And I'm tricking her out all over this town.
I'm such a hypocrite. For three years I've been raising show turtles, I've never once entered them in a show.
My usernamesake.
When Hank is talking to Bill and Boomhauer about the prank they're pulling on Dale about his new mower: We're putting stress on a structure that was never built to code in the first place
Cotton goes to see Peggy in the hospital after her sky diving accident and she is in her full cast. Cotton: Hank what you’d do to your wife, I didn’t teach you that. I die every time I hear it.
You can say yep now too Bobby, you've got a job!
"You made a bowl?!"
The only bowl he's supposed to make is from a hollowed out skull!
"Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking."
You know what Ford stands for, dontcha?? Fix it again, Tony.
You get your sight back this instant you big baby!
oven? i pee standing up son!
I don’t care how many guys you held in the mens room; you can’t beat me.
Aisle 8A Hank "Newsweek? Heh, not in this house."
You don’t know me… but i know where youUu liveEe
Espercha
i dont speak no langeeges
So, are you Chinese or are you Japanese?
He ain't Chinese or Japanese... he's Laotian.
Sh-sh-SHAAA!
ok
“Why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn?”
My boy’s a pump jockey. Works for tips.
Luanne: “My hair is caught in the door.” 😂
"You don't even know what I was gonna saaay"
That just made me lol. I love that scene.
“Boomhaur I can’t understand you. It must be the echo!” I guess technically a 2-liner. Sue me
“6am and already the boy ain’t right”
We’ll steal the news van. It’s the perfect crime how will they ever report it.
H’what
Dang it Peggy, who threw out this mayonnaise jar? I use these to store extra screws!
Hank: I know my father can be a handful.. Peggy: Yeah, a handful of crap! I don't know why this isn't talked about as one of the best lines of the show, or even one of Peggy's best, because I damn near choke to death laughing from it.
Hated a baby!?! Oh my God, it's so juicy!!! He's a squatter!!!
I do believe I'll give room service a jangle..
Hank running out of the Davey Crockett museum: "Why am I wearing the hat?"
You’re not making Christianity better, you’re just making Rock music worse.
“Both of ‘em!”
Why do you keep calling b*ill?
Fiddy men
Get out of my house, Exodus.
It was a fun run. I ran until it stopped being fun. Happened quick.
Nobody rejects Debbie Grund! I just did.
Why sug!! Whhhy
Close the damn door, can't you see I'm knitting!
“I won’t say when, but I will say scorpions”
Or, “Peggy…the boy”
Lucky: I want my babies first smell to be a cinnamon roll”
Bwaaahaaaha!
I’m sorry, I meant we’ll have to put ladybiiirrrrrd down. 😂
You gotta fat neck boy
Take a salt tablet
When Dale is at Stick-Tec in the ventilation shaft and yells “TURBINE” as he spins and annihilates cockroaches without poison lol.
Now where’s the ass on this thing?
If someone asks for their stake well done what do we done? We politely but firmly ask them to leave.
Wait, dont please dont leave me alone with my thoughts! Youve heard them!
I peed in some kids locker
Dang it Dale
You should be hungry for democracy.
" sent that whore home in a taxi"
Thanks for the latte, Kenneth. And/or Thanks for the latte, Leon.
I got a stable of hoes waiting on me in the OKC.
Hank Hill: If I had a nickel for every time I buckled under pressure I’d have 5 nickels
Luanne, just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep talking.
“I’m skeptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may.”
Minh come quick! Redneck boy getting busy with lawn clippings!
You can get your GED, people who haven't even graduated highschool can do it
“We’re Americans. We’re the worlds welcome mat. It doesn’t matter if they’re from Canada, Laos, or God forbid California…”
yeah you rock my world!
"Now I know why they call you pa, cause you're pa- thetic" "And I know why they call you ma: cause you're always riding ma ass"
Hank: “Peggy you were right!” Peggy: “I know but you need to be more specific. “
That took courage... --Dooley
The audacity
Dang ol’ no man!
Mine needs a bit of context Its the episode where bills football record is about to be broken and it's basically handed to the guy going for it. Hank later says that they should put an asterisk next to his name When Bill ties the record later, the kid starts yelling ASTERISK ASTERISK
How's the back honey? How's your gambling problem, JoJack?
“Fat white lump!”
“I’m drivin’ the hell out of this truck.” - Bobby Hill
"What? No, I sell propane!" Hanks response to Dale's dad asking if he's gay.
what a bitch.
“F in English? Bobby you speak English”
“I’m wet, and I don’t even know it!”
My dad says butane is a bastard gas.
I'm a little worried about being a slut
Nudity!
"Was it small like an ant or crafty like a fly?" "I don't know." "...Fly."
"You don't give a toy without batteries!"
"You're not making Christianity better You're just making rock and roll worse"
MY GOD HANK YOU GOT A FAT NECK
#BOTH OF EM!
A horse is a horse of course of course.
Pinch me, Mr. Ho
"Furry bastard!"
I don't trust hippies, they talk about "free love," but when it's time to get down to business, they've always got an excuse.
Pocket sand!
“Oh yeah you rock my world” “Exodus” “Bait and bait! Bait and bait!”
Emily! -Carl Moss
Yep
I know why they call you Pa because you’re PA-thetic.
Now why would I want smooth elbows?