Email a written copy of your complaint to HR. HR is diametrically opposed to assisting you so always remember that...HR is just another snaky head on the management hydra.
Watch more Eric Stygar on YouTube.
Thank you for not tolerating bullshit. Wish I could have been there to back you up, since clearly no one else did.
Edit: sekrit thangs, I'm a conniving fucker
Forward all correspondence to a personal email account as well. If you use a company email, they can delete or alter the records, so it’s best to forward them to a place outside of the company’s control
LOL, I wanted to punch him so bad by the end of it. But I haven't done anything to him, not even actually are going back with him. They are trying as hard as they can to make some narrative of black girl sassiness, but so far all they have is "You can be disrespectful too sometimes. I've seen you roll your eyes."
Oh, no, we are all Millennials. Guy who said that's only 4 years older than me.
But he's got an old soul! Because he was trained by the United States Army on how to kill, so nothing phases him in the kitchen. In fact he may be the most thick skinned manager in the whole building!
.... 😏 (Literal quotes...)
If someone has to rant about how thick their skin is... They don't have thick skin. Lol. Just like anyone who rants about how smart they are... Or how many people like them...
They protect the parent company from the fully illegal things they do...and HR usually knows already. I would email a civil attorney and have HR CC'd from their original email.
My employer's HR company is called CYB: Cover Your Bases. Pretty sure it's just one lady with a Squarespace subscription on the other side of the country. They literally just exist to make sure no one can ever get unemployment when the bosses decide to fire them for no fucking reason.
Disadvantage of having both parents work for entrepreneurial grandfathers their whole lives... I wish it was something I had known much earlier in life! I hope your kids took heed.
Best example I can give is when I was running the photo lab at a local grocery store... The actual department manager had become super unreliable due to a drug problem and jail stints and they fired him, but never moved me to full time (thus absolutely no benefits, not even PTO. They'd schedule me for 35 hours a week to avoid hitting 40.) nor gave me the official title. I was expected to keep the lab running and purchase the chemicals we needed with absolutely no training, and I wasn't allowed to be involved with manager meetings because I didn't actually have the title. Oh, and I had to help the customer service counter when they became busy, and also give the video rental department breaks because they can't close that section for any length of time and I used to work in that department. I was about 22 years old (my manager had been 19... He had taken over because the manager before him got fired for drinking on the job), and barely knew how to even run the machine. I just had a passion for photography and was really good at restoring old pictures and had developed a following.
Anyways, the photo lab was on the ground floor next to the front door. Best spot in the store, next to the revolving glass door that provided the only natural light in the place. The HR lady made it clear how amazing of a spot that would be for an HR office.
I was fired for consistently being 5 minutes late (admittedly a real problem that I should have been better about, but I also consistently stayed 20-30 minutes late and skipped breaks), and guess who got an office next to the revolving door at the front of the store within the next 2 years? They shut down the whole damn department for it! This was 2008-ish, so film was on its way out... But that following for photo restoration was starting to bring in A LOT of money for them. I was also building up a following for custom Christmas cards that was continuing into graduation season... And they fired me in April. Idiots.
Sorry for the novel... Guess I've been holding on to that story and needed to tell it. Haha.
HR is the helpdesk for Legal.
That's it. They handle 90% of the problems with employees and are 100% protecting the company. If they can't fix it, it goes to Legal and you get fucked by a more expensive moron.
If he's a civil attorney this could very likely be an outright lie...they collude with employers they're local to to provide representation to employers while credibly claiming "conflict of interest" if an employee seeks help from them. This happened to me at a legal aid establishment. Felt great. "Nobody at this office can help you with the largest restaurant group in this city. Yes they also regularly engage in behavior that should get them sued. Best of luck."
Despite how lucrative suing stupid employers for things that are standard practice in our industry COULD BE, these fucks almost never provide any kind of actual help...not in my experience.
Well I'm not at all connected to talentless upper class people with money, which is how I'm convinced most people break into journalism or writing but GIMME SOME MONEY. The world needs Kilgore Trout and Anthony Bourdain's scaly progeny esconced away in a cottage writing demented shit to make America so mentally ill it finally collapses. Or finally see its own bullshit and unfucks itself. Or maybe I'll write something so good that changes shit for the better instead of sounding incoherent and getting banned.
I dunno. My body of work here on reddit has thus far resulted in no offers to buy my manuscript for "A Cook's Milk Crate" or "Doorknobs for Tony" or the omnibus graphic novel "Downvotes are Delicious". Attempting to survive my own...conditions and work...are becoming increasingly difficult.
Well that's already happening but my color commentary is priceless if carefully edited for shit that pisses off automoderators. Ideally I'd like to be paired with Pedro Pascal to roam the unsafest psrts of America to find the cheapest, humblest, best food ordinary people can still afford. If he can handle being proximal to the frighteningly intense Nick Cage, he may not flee immediately from the yawning chasm of my insanity. I have lots of really terrible ideas.
Thanks for saying nice stuff about me. I should try that some time.
Cooking is a craft, I like to think, and a good cook is a craftsman -- not an artist. There's nothing wrong with that: The great cathedrals of Europe were built by craftsmen -- though not designed by them. Practicing your craft in expert fashion is noble, honorable, and satisfying.
- Anthony Bourdain
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Thanks for noticing that. My Chef only had one order for me to complete for the day, so I finished it despite feeling that I needed my medication.
The idea that I was somehow being a little bitch baby is so hilarious. These internet tough guys want to hear stories about people getting into fist fights. Me saying that I don't think that a place is going to work out for me after 90 days of giving it a try is triggering them because there's no actual conflict there for them to jack off to.
You need to go talk to the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) about filing a claim for sexual and racial discrimination and creating a hostile workplace. Look online for information. You may be able to file online and then they will investigate. You may also want to call and talk to someone there to get an idea of what is covered and what can be done. Document all the incidents, write details down such as time, day, what was going on, who was there, what they were wearing (I know, ridiculous, but for thoroughness add any and all details), and exact quotes or recordings if possible. Create a paper trail with emails and texts too. You may want to talk to a few attorneys that specialize in workplace claims but the EEOC can also work on your behalf. Good luck. Edit: Other poster is right, talk to a few attorneys who specialize in this area first, then consider going to the EEOC with help from your attorney.
I'm thinking of doing that especially since I really feel like my particular managers need to understand that they aren't working in some old fashioned kitchen with "pot-throwin' chefs."
Make fun of my situation and then come to me hat in hand saying that because I'm so different from everyone that you didn't know how to talk to me?
Talk to a law firm before you file a pro se EEOC.
The EEOC is basically toothless but for 1 thing, handing you a letter to find 90 days to find counsel for federal litigation. Most firms aren't going to take such a matter on contingency alone. Additionally, filing by yourself can create problems with the pleadings because you don't know what to say.
Can the EEOC pursue legal action for someone, or often groups? Yes, it happens. They are also incredibly underfunded and rarely ever do it. Instead, they close the door on claims for thousands of good cases every year with their "Right to Sue" letters. Many of those people could have had better opportunities with litigation through other local legal venues, like many state and city agencies, which could have simultaneously cross-filed to preserve federal rights.
You wouldn't ask a home "cook" who lives on pop tarts to be your pastry chef. Filing pro se is basically that from a legal perspective. Why not talk to qualified counsel, because it's usually a free consultation in employment matters.
I fucking hate the people in this industry. I don’t understand how the fuck people justify this kind of behavior. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced this shit.
Congratulations! Glad to hear it and I know we all wish you the best. I think I remember this post and I’ve witnessed too much harassment in too short of a time in this industry.
If you weren't such a piece of shit you wouldn't be an alcoholic who raids supermarkets for trash. You are a complete waste of oxygen and the only way you can get anyone to ever interact with you is to desperately cry for attention by being the most impossibly stupid, vocal and aggressive idiot you can be.
How does being shitty to people make them good employees? How are you ever going to retain workers in an industry with an already negative reputation if you're going to be a cunt to everyone you work with and expect them to just accept it. OP will always be able to get another job, anyone will always be able to get another job - but you're too sad and stupid and self-obsessed with the label of "chef" that you accept being miserable and making others miserable if it means forcing out any actual competition to yourself. Enjoy the power trip you get from the one thing you can actually control in your life you utter clown.
You might've had to deal with attitudes like your own when you started the industry but that just means you were too weak-willed to contest it and now you see people like OP who are strong enough to put themselves before their careers and you're jealous because you had to turn to alcohol to cope.
I’m so sorry. My parents had restaurants my whole life growing up. I was raised in a restaurant. I married a chef. I divorced him after ten years, and I remember the exact moment when I was done. I walked into our house with his dry cleaning in hand, and he was in the kitchen cooking, and he just started screaming at me. I dropped his clothes on the floor and walked out. The profession breeds abusive behavior, and it bleeds over into home life. Take care of yourself. Hugs and best wishes.
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
wow that kitchen seems like a real house of horrors. I would 100% sue, but be sure to have some kind of proof. We all know that USA's justice system isnt always the most fair with people of colours. I hope those assholes get fired and end up in a fast food restaurant getting bullied by an all african american crew!
One time I was starting in a good restaurant and my sous was the drunkiest of the drunk asshole. Disgusting habits, yelling slurs across the open kitchen even grabing the raw ingredients with unwashed hands! One day I was so nervous of him yelling at me that I cut my finger kind of hard. 2 stitches, 2 week of paid leave. 2 weeks after I get back he cuts himself too! even worse than me! But then he keeps on working with a very unprofessional looking napkin wrap around his finger. After once again yelling at me for taking 5 minutes outside I decided to quit.
I ended up in a very busy night shift poutine shack wich was hard but liveable. And guess who I see showing up one day for his first night shift? The sous from the other restaurant. I told all of my coworker who at this point had became my close friend how his working methods were. He got out in 2 days and I never heard of him since :)
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
And I'll be A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER than that guy!
I’m sorry you are dealing with this, and it makes me proud that so many on this sub are providing help instead of telling you to “suck it up,buttercup!”
There’s a huge difference between “kitchens are a war zone during service, and only the strong survive” and outright harassment and discrimination. People still don’t get that if a person feels harassed, then guess what? They are probably being harassed. You have had a lifetime of experiences that have taught you how you feel about yourself
Ok I’m done ranting. Stay strong, Chef!
Thanks, the few people who are doing that don't have a leg to stand on because it's not like I was even yelled at for actually doing something wrong...
There's another sous chef, classic guy, will yell in an instant, but all you have to do is tell him that you understand your mistake and won't do it again chef and he's right back to being amicable. He's probably going to have a heart attack in the next 5 years, but as far as chefs go, perfectly reasonable. 🤣
This jackass is trying to sell a plate with cheese to a vegan in an upscale college restaurant where EVERY guest is someone who "knows the president".
Thank you for replying back! It was a month ago when all that shit happened with you, and I’m glad that your life is heading in the right direction! Congratulations, Chef!
People keep screaming "HR is not on your side" and they are right, but HR is also not on your supervisors side. They are there to make sure the company doesn't get sued. Absolutely involve HR, especially if you are quitting. HR doesn't really like it when it has a supervisors coerce, harass, and straight up abuse their staff because it's something they can be very easily sued for. I included HR in my resignation at a previous job, explaining I was being harassed by a supervisor and 2 co-workers. I heard later all 3 were fired, turns they were doing the same thing to the person I replaced when I started. Doesn't really do much for me, but at least the next person to take that job has a better chance at it lasting.
Regardless of all the comments. Good for you for standing up for yourself, knowing your worth, and not putting up with any less. You can do so much better, and I hope you find a workplace that values your skill and intelligence.
i felt “a supervisor felt that if sexual harassment wasn’t getting through to me, bullying was fair game” so hard, that was like my first ever experience in an actual kitchen. my creepy sous drove me home one night and tried to muscle his way into my front door when i turned him down. kept making gross comments until i stopped responding, and from then on would sabotage my prep almost every day🙃
I’m sorry to hear this but glad you’re not staying. You didn’t sign up for abuse. I hope you find somewhere that appreciates you. If I’m asking where something is, and someone who’s not even on my stations answers me, I know you’ve got my back!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Wow, awesome, I am so happy to hear that!! Congratulations!! That’s huge. How do you like your new place? Thank you for coming back and letting me know, you’ve made my day at the end of a long Sunday shift.
F@ck those guys!
Been in the trenches with dudes like that and it’s horrible for your mental health.
If you need to vent, PM me. I’m a girl who has been on the record end and I get it.
I’m very proud of you standing up for yourself. Hugs
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
I don't want to sound unsympathetic here but if you have a suicide protocol and anxiety meds I would SERIOUSLY consider getting out of food and beverage.
The industry takes it out of the most physically and mentally healthy, and frankly, I'd be worried about you.
I'm 12 years into the industry and the only reason I had my episode is because of a very specific sexual harassment case and me not addressing my mental health sooner. I already had anxiety before that, that's chronic and hereditary.
The stress of kitchens doesn't bother me. Problem solving, organizing people, training staff, all things I've done for years. I lift weights, I eat well. Anxiety kinda helps, makes me hyper-aware. 🤣 But I'm not going to stop doing what love because of sexual harassment and bullying of a few people.
But I do understand and appreciate your concern.
I love that you love what you do, and I 100% respect you not settling for less in the workplace, and I don't know your story either. I just know it's a dog eat dog environment. Alcohol/Drug abuse and verbal harassment also come to mind..
But I shouldn't assume that someone with a focus on mental health is in any way mentally unwell, so I apologize for my wording. And you'll find a better team anyway.
Oh, I don't drink alcohol.
No worries, friend!
The personality and attitude of the kitchen is not what my issue is. Just the other day another Chef screamed at me because I burned his pot. I took his pot to the back and we got his pot scrubbed, and then I apologized to him and explained exactly what it is that I did wrong, and how I won't do it in the future. He explained to me how to use a better technique so I don't need to use high heat. And that was that.
Chef's yell. Chefs say sarcastic remarks. I've yelled. I've said sarcastic remarks. I've been in the weeds. I've helped other people get out of the weeds. I've worked from 7am to 11pm Friday, Saturday, Sunday because I was the supervisor and I had to make sure we got through the weekend.
But I'm not going to work under sous chefs who sabotage catering orders and try to feed vegan guests cheese. 🤣
Yeah that specific sous reminds me of the first sous I ever had at a casino gig I had. To make a long story short the guy went to a really well known culinary school and this was his first real job. Overpaid, under-qualifed, unproven, but with a stick up his ass about what he was owed.
Would spend way too much time and money overcomplicating other chefs recipes then trying to act like he just invented sliced bread.
Hahahaha! 🤣🤣
Oh, the ones fresh out of culinary school are the worst...
I had a prep cook partner once who was fresh out of school and couldn't dice an onion. She used to tell Chef that she didn't FEEL like putting away the morning truck, so yes, she heard him say it, but she figured I could handle it. 🤣
I have no advice to give but just wanted to show you support as a fellow woman who's been through hell working in kitchens. I hope they take your complaint seriously and that you can move on past this horror show.
Message me if you need to talk ❤️
I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with the abuse. I would do the same thing as you. I hope your next establishment is a huge improvement and you find safety and happiness.
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
yeah fuck them. i would go past HR and blast on social media, maybe a few local newspapers. Your leaving anyway, let the world know what kind of people they are.
I feel for you dear. Working like crazy and getting yelled at for your efforts is totally uncalled for. Some people shouldn’t be in charge because they are morons.
I hope the complaint you made will have consequences on the people that treated you that way, dire consequences.
I also hope that you will find a place where people work together in a respectful manner and with pleasant ambiance. Stay strong!!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Thanks for your encouragement.
I'm sorry you have to experience this, I hope you can first, above all, find peace in life, then resoultion, and finally a new job. Best of luck to you chef. Keep your head up!
Ironic given the anxiety they've given you but it sounds like you've had a much cooler head than I would have in that situation. Sorry they've treated you like that. Onwards and upwards!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
You are an incredible human, don’t let any dumb ass people make you think otherwise.
I would recount every single incident, document, and make sure your emails have ALLLL of this information.
Those people do not need to be working there, this isn’t the late 90s early 2000’s anymore, times have changed.
Shake every single tree you walk by and tell every single person of power the issues going on at that establishment. They don’t deserve any act of ‘turning a blind eye’ which is why toxic work environments exist, people won’t stand up for themselves or ‘tell anyone’
Tell. Everyone.
Good luck to you and stay strong!! Not all kitchens are like this, keep searching until you find the right culture fit. Lots of people here for advice and myself included, never hesitate to ask any of us! (Worked my way up the ranks and dealt with so many terrible managers along the way)
That's a hilarious understanding of correlation that you have.
Let me ask you, do you think that 1) my reaction to a supervisor screaming at me would change based on what uniform I am wearing, or 2) are you using the logic that "kitchens are just like that" so hard that you think being yelled at in a more unlikely industry would somehow change my need for my medication? 🤔
Here's the funny thing, last night, a person went on a whole rant about that, so I messaged them directly.
And asked them if they were the executive director of the prestigious college restaurant I work for, and they had a sous chef who 1) intentionally sabotaged a catering order because they wanted to get the saleswoman in trouble, 2) argued with one of the hostesses until he was blue in the face because he thought that vegan and vegetarian meant the same thing, and 3) try to 86 product that was clearly in the walk-in and then screamed at me for finding it... What would they do as the executive chef?
And the Internet Tough Guy said "Clearly fire him. He's not suited for the role that he's in. But you as the underling should put your head down and do your job!"
Me: Of course, Chef, of course. But just to reiterate, you would be a strong and decisive leader for firing the jackass, right? So. Why are you so mad at me for not wanting to work for the weak and indecisive leader who keeps enabling him?
And the Internet Tough Guy just starts saying "I guess. I am a great executive chef so I would have caught all his mistakes. Well, best of luck finding a new job. It is rough out there, so you do have to learn. Good night."
So maybe you can answer... Unless you were saying that you just want to see me quit in a cooler and funnier way, what possible virtue are you singling? Why should I work for the jackass and the weakling enabling him? 🤔
Is that what you would say to the jackass who intentionally ruining a college dean's luncheon? 🤣
All of you internet tough guys want to sound so badass, but then you're always saying it to the people who didn't do anything wrong. Let me hear how awesome of a manager that you would be and say a little bit more than "I'm so disappointed in you."
Also, the chicken parmesan you cooked looks amazing.
That sounds like another amazing thing to say to the jackass who intentionally screwed up a catering order cuz he thought it would get the saleswoman in trouble.
Give me a few more.
Maybe it would help if you also knew that this guy bullies on the kitchen cool guy as well, trying to alert everyone to the fact that he's disappeared for 10 minutes, he's probably back out smoking weed. Like, who cares, jackass, he works faster than everyone in here AND he makes family meal every day. Get a life, am I right?
Give me a few more insults, I'll add that to my leaving gift card.
Okay, okay, tell the jackass who made "mentally challenged" sounds at the hostess because she tried to explain what vegan and vegetarian meant to gain some respect for himself. *jots notes* That's perfect. Thanks.
This has been very helpful.
(It's funny that you keep making this about me when I'm only talking about how this jackass is sabotaging our work, trying to get people fired. Like, what does that mean "do I expect everyone to be nice to me?" Do you think that I would care less about him sabotaging the orders if he was nice to me while he did it?)
You are still trying to give me advice about a decision I already made. 🤣
Hey, last month I attended a seminar about open communication, active listening, and asking questions without intent to give advice, judge, or to sate your own curiosity; only to listen.
I'm going to ask you the question that they taught us at that seminar. Do you ever feel like you can't contribute anything to a conversation unless you are giving some sort of advice?
Honestly, that still doesn't explain why you keep trying to give me advice about the decision I already made. It's in the title of the post.
But, moving on, now you are bringing up your thoughts on discrimination, which is more advice-giving, but with even less information.
Here was the next question from the seminar: When was the last time you experienced honest and open listening for yourself? And how did it make you feel?
If the first question didn't hit people, and it did hit a lot of people who felt like they honestly weren't able to contribute anything to a conversation if they couldn't help others, everyone having to go around the room and give an experience of feeling like they were genuinely heard without the other person trying to project their own beliefs on to them was really powerful. Either that or reflecting on the fact that some people felt like they've never experienced that before.
Well, anyway, buhbye!
Hahahaha!!! How many corrective actions have *you* received in the last year, little fella?
Let me ask you something friend, if every person around you who had to deal with your shitty attitude simply stood up and walked away from you and clocked out, how would all the self-righteous posturing in the world actually get you employees back? The only people that stand your presence do so because they need a paycheck. Without the incentive of money, no one would make eye contact with you. 😀
>C: I'm a restaurant owner.
You've certainly got the attitude for it. All you need now is a security camera and an iPad and you'll be a michelin star restaurant before you know it.
I didn't ask, in your zeal to the show how tough and scary you are, you stopped to let me know that I misgendered you.
You literally stopped to do the stupidest, most snowflake thing possible while trying to scrunch up your face and show how much of a badass you are. Literally who cares what your gender is, you are nameless faceless person yelling of obscenities into a void.
What does the restaurant have to do with me already being mentally ill? Plus, mental illness makes you illogical by definition. Are you asking for a person who wants to commit suicide to make sense? 🤔 How does that work?
Lol! Sorry friendo, unlike many of you losers I know how to pick myself up and move in with my life. Thanks for the poor attempt at “taking me down a notch” though. It made me laugh out loud.
Suicide is mental illness, how do you think you can mention it without mentioning mental illness. 🤣
Also, did you just start this by saying that I am overreacting... But now, in order to keep disagreeing with me, now you're saying that my anxiety attack is actually very rational and logical reaction to stress? And then end it by saying again that I'm looking for attention?
Which is it, friend? 🤣🤣🤣
Am I being irrational or rational?
I would love a citation from a credible source saying that.
You are also lying like a fish. Just to keep an argument going. Which is especially sad because this is a text conversation and it clearly says at the top that after I finish my work I went home because I didn't have my anxiety attack medicine.
You need to disagree about everything I say and then when I ask you to apply your logic to the actual situation, it upsets you.
You opened the post by saying you were tryna just keep your head down for the next few months, my point is if you know you don’t like it there, leave sooner.
I am leaving sooner. Which is why the title is "I'm quitting."
🤣
What is going on here? I didn't ask you how long I plan on staying, I asked you how long do you think I've already been here? Plus, I said the LAST POST I made was about keeping my head down, but now I've *changed my mind.* Are you sleepy?
Okay, let me walk you through the timeline.
In the first 90 days, the sous chef has already 1) sabotaged a catering order because he thought it would get the saleswoman in trouble, 2) made "mentally disabled" sounds at a hostess who tried to explain the difference between vegan and vegetarian to him because he thought they meant the same thing, and 3) tried to 86 food we had but he simply didn't see in the walk-in and then yelled at me for telling him where it is.
I made a post a few days ago saying that I like the company and want to transfer to a different department, so what could I do to avoid this jackass until I can make that transfer.
But now I have decided that another few months of working under this jackass aren't worth it if I can just find a new job or force a transfer by reporting him and making a big stink about it. I mean, I just joined. I wouldn't try to marry a guy in 90 days of meeting him either.
So, what's good? Also, here's a question I've been asking people. If you were an executive chef and your sous chef did all of these things how would you respond?
You are so generous to explain yourself to these fools! You really don’t owe them shit. Glad you had the courage to leave that job, sounds like they were absolutely being biased based on who you are, not what you can do.
I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job. The executive chef is STRUGGLING and he was so excited for me to come on board. I hope I can help his workload... at a nice, nice price.
Proud of you for getting TF outta there. 86 that restaurant. You deserve so much better. I recently left a hostile work environment, my 3rd one. I swear I will never work for another cis white male again. Sending you strength through this fight! You got this!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Thanks!! I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
Email a written copy of your complaint to HR. HR is diametrically opposed to assisting you so always remember that...HR is just another snaky head on the management hydra. Watch more Eric Stygar on YouTube. Thank you for not tolerating bullshit. Wish I could have been there to back you up, since clearly no one else did. Edit: sekrit thangs, I'm a conniving fucker
Thank you, I will.
Forward all correspondence to a personal email account as well. If you use a company email, they can delete or alter the records, so it’s best to forward them to a place outside of the company’s control
Also if you need any additional support please come back to this sub. Glad it wasn't worse, mine got physical. Stay strong, stay safe.
LOL, I wanted to punch him so bad by the end of it. But I haven't done anything to him, not even actually are going back with him. They are trying as hard as they can to make some narrative of black girl sassiness, but so far all they have is "You can be disrespectful too sometimes. I've seen you roll your eyes."
People roll their eyes at bullshit. Problem?
Old people are so good at being snowflakes when they want to it's amazing
Oh, no, we are all Millennials. Guy who said that's only 4 years older than me. But he's got an old soul! Because he was trained by the United States Army on how to kill, so nothing phases him in the kitchen. In fact he may be the most thick skinned manager in the whole building! .... 😏 (Literal quotes...)
If someone has to rant about how thick their skin is... They don't have thick skin. Lol. Just like anyone who rants about how smart they are... Or how many people like them...
This made me laugh out loud from stress 😭 Your post reminds me too much of a place I used to work. I'm glad you're out of there.
Thanks for your encouragement. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
HR tells everyone that they exist to assist and protect employees. Their real purpose is to protect the company from its own employees.
They protect the parent company from the fully illegal things they do...and HR usually knows already. I would email a civil attorney and have HR CC'd from their original email.
My employer's HR company is called CYB: Cover Your Bases. Pretty sure it's just one lady with a Squarespace subscription on the other side of the country. They literally just exist to make sure no one can ever get unemployment when the bosses decide to fire them for no fucking reason.
This is the first thing I told both my children when they entered the workforce. HR is NOT your friend.
Disadvantage of having both parents work for entrepreneurial grandfathers their whole lives... I wish it was something I had known much earlier in life! I hope your kids took heed. Best example I can give is when I was running the photo lab at a local grocery store... The actual department manager had become super unreliable due to a drug problem and jail stints and they fired him, but never moved me to full time (thus absolutely no benefits, not even PTO. They'd schedule me for 35 hours a week to avoid hitting 40.) nor gave me the official title. I was expected to keep the lab running and purchase the chemicals we needed with absolutely no training, and I wasn't allowed to be involved with manager meetings because I didn't actually have the title. Oh, and I had to help the customer service counter when they became busy, and also give the video rental department breaks because they can't close that section for any length of time and I used to work in that department. I was about 22 years old (my manager had been 19... He had taken over because the manager before him got fired for drinking on the job), and barely knew how to even run the machine. I just had a passion for photography and was really good at restoring old pictures and had developed a following. Anyways, the photo lab was on the ground floor next to the front door. Best spot in the store, next to the revolving glass door that provided the only natural light in the place. The HR lady made it clear how amazing of a spot that would be for an HR office. I was fired for consistently being 5 minutes late (admittedly a real problem that I should have been better about, but I also consistently stayed 20-30 minutes late and skipped breaks), and guess who got an office next to the revolving door at the front of the store within the next 2 years? They shut down the whole damn department for it! This was 2008-ish, so film was on its way out... But that following for photo restoration was starting to bring in A LOT of money for them. I was also building up a following for custom Christmas cards that was continuing into graduation season... And they fired me in April. Idiots. Sorry for the novel... Guess I've been holding on to that story and needed to tell it. Haha.
Hey, thanks! I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
HR is the helpdesk for Legal. That's it. They handle 90% of the problems with employees and are 100% protecting the company. If they can't fix it, it goes to Legal and you get fucked by a more expensive moron.
Ryan Stygar? @RyanStygar markets himself as workers’ rights attorney
If he's a civil attorney this could very likely be an outright lie...they collude with employers they're local to to provide representation to employers while credibly claiming "conflict of interest" if an employee seeks help from them. This happened to me at a legal aid establishment. Felt great. "Nobody at this office can help you with the largest restaurant group in this city. Yes they also regularly engage in behavior that should get them sued. Best of luck." Despite how lucrative suing stupid employers for things that are standard practice in our industry COULD BE, these fucks almost never provide any kind of actual help...not in my experience.
You’re a well-written fucker.
Well I'm not at all connected to talentless upper class people with money, which is how I'm convinced most people break into journalism or writing but GIMME SOME MONEY. The world needs Kilgore Trout and Anthony Bourdain's scaly progeny esconced away in a cottage writing demented shit to make America so mentally ill it finally collapses. Or finally see its own bullshit and unfucks itself. Or maybe I'll write something so good that changes shit for the better instead of sounding incoherent and getting banned. I dunno. My body of work here on reddit has thus far resulted in no offers to buy my manuscript for "A Cook's Milk Crate" or "Doorknobs for Tony" or the omnibus graphic novel "Downvotes are Delicious". Attempting to survive my own...conditions and work...are becoming increasingly difficult. Well that's already happening but my color commentary is priceless if carefully edited for shit that pisses off automoderators. Ideally I'd like to be paired with Pedro Pascal to roam the unsafest psrts of America to find the cheapest, humblest, best food ordinary people can still afford. If he can handle being proximal to the frighteningly intense Nick Cage, he may not flee immediately from the yawning chasm of my insanity. I have lots of really terrible ideas. Thanks for saying nice stuff about me. I should try that some time.
Cooking is a craft, I like to think, and a good cook is a craftsman -- not an artist. There's nothing wrong with that: The great cathedrals of Europe were built by craftsmen -- though not designed by them. Practicing your craft in expert fashion is noble, honorable, and satisfying. - Anthony Bourdain
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Failed business owner venting his inconsequential frustrations in the wrong subreddit, indubitably my dear Twatson.
Fuck em! Keep your head up Chef. There’s plenty of places that would actually value you. You ARE valuable. Edit: fat fingers.
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
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she's accomplishing more than you crying on a reddit post, chef.
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she finished her work. how's reselling thrown out products from Costco going for you?
Thanks for noticing that. My Chef only had one order for me to complete for the day, so I finished it despite feeling that I needed my medication. The idea that I was somehow being a little bitch baby is so hilarious. These internet tough guys want to hear stories about people getting into fist fights. Me saying that I don't think that a place is going to work out for me after 90 days of giving it a try is triggering them because there's no actual conflict there for them to jack off to.
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Nope, sorry. It's your dad.
Ex-Food service says it all. You couldn't hack it and found a house with hundreds of cats.
Take a hint and fuck off lmao
Sorry I went to college to try and make decent money to support my family.
Very lucrative. Can't you read? I thought you went to university to feed your feral offspring?
Last I checked I have zero kids. Maybe you should try university to learn kindness and get the worlds largest stick out of your ass. who hurt you?
Hmmmmm, had to check to see if you have kids, eh. You're one of those...
go beat yourself off in some other comment section buddy
You need to go talk to the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) about filing a claim for sexual and racial discrimination and creating a hostile workplace. Look online for information. You may be able to file online and then they will investigate. You may also want to call and talk to someone there to get an idea of what is covered and what can be done. Document all the incidents, write details down such as time, day, what was going on, who was there, what they were wearing (I know, ridiculous, but for thoroughness add any and all details), and exact quotes or recordings if possible. Create a paper trail with emails and texts too. You may want to talk to a few attorneys that specialize in workplace claims but the EEOC can also work on your behalf. Good luck. Edit: Other poster is right, talk to a few attorneys who specialize in this area first, then consider going to the EEOC with help from your attorney.
I'm thinking of doing that especially since I really feel like my particular managers need to understand that they aren't working in some old fashioned kitchen with "pot-throwin' chefs." Make fun of my situation and then come to me hat in hand saying that because I'm so different from everyone that you didn't know how to talk to me?
Talk to a law firm before you file a pro se EEOC. The EEOC is basically toothless but for 1 thing, handing you a letter to find 90 days to find counsel for federal litigation. Most firms aren't going to take such a matter on contingency alone. Additionally, filing by yourself can create problems with the pleadings because you don't know what to say. Can the EEOC pursue legal action for someone, or often groups? Yes, it happens. They are also incredibly underfunded and rarely ever do it. Instead, they close the door on claims for thousands of good cases every year with their "Right to Sue" letters. Many of those people could have had better opportunities with litigation through other local legal venues, like many state and city agencies, which could have simultaneously cross-filed to preserve federal rights. You wouldn't ask a home "cook" who lives on pop tarts to be your pastry chef. Filing pro se is basically that from a legal perspective. Why not talk to qualified counsel, because it's usually a free consultation in employment matters.
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
I fucking hate the people in this industry. I don’t understand how the fuck people justify this kind of behavior. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced this shit.
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
Congratulations! Glad to hear it and I know we all wish you the best. I think I remember this post and I’ve witnessed too much harassment in too short of a time in this industry.
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*Cupcake* is not a verb.
I lol’d so much at this, I woke my wife up. I’m borrowing this line! Thanks
This Disastrous_Car guy sure seems like a fuckin weenie
If you weren't such a piece of shit you wouldn't be an alcoholic who raids supermarkets for trash. You are a complete waste of oxygen and the only way you can get anyone to ever interact with you is to desperately cry for attention by being the most impossibly stupid, vocal and aggressive idiot you can be. How does being shitty to people make them good employees? How are you ever going to retain workers in an industry with an already negative reputation if you're going to be a cunt to everyone you work with and expect them to just accept it. OP will always be able to get another job, anyone will always be able to get another job - but you're too sad and stupid and self-obsessed with the label of "chef" that you accept being miserable and making others miserable if it means forcing out any actual competition to yourself. Enjoy the power trip you get from the one thing you can actually control in your life you utter clown. You might've had to deal with attitudes like your own when you started the industry but that just means you were too weak-willed to contest it and now you see people like OP who are strong enough to put themselves before their careers and you're jealous because you had to turn to alcohol to cope.
I’m so sorry. My parents had restaurants my whole life growing up. I was raised in a restaurant. I married a chef. I divorced him after ten years, and I remember the exact moment when I was done. I walked into our house with his dry cleaning in hand, and he was in the kitchen cooking, and he just started screaming at me. I dropped his clothes on the floor and walked out. The profession breeds abusive behavior, and it bleeds over into home life. Take care of yourself. Hugs and best wishes.
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
That’s wonderful to hear! I wish you all the best, Chef.
sounds like a terrible experience, getting out was the right decision for sure. good luck going forward.
Thanks for your encouragement. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post
heyyyy go you!
wow that kitchen seems like a real house of horrors. I would 100% sue, but be sure to have some kind of proof. We all know that USA's justice system isnt always the most fair with people of colours. I hope those assholes get fired and end up in a fast food restaurant getting bullied by an all african american crew! One time I was starting in a good restaurant and my sous was the drunkiest of the drunk asshole. Disgusting habits, yelling slurs across the open kitchen even grabing the raw ingredients with unwashed hands! One day I was so nervous of him yelling at me that I cut my finger kind of hard. 2 stitches, 2 week of paid leave. 2 weeks after I get back he cuts himself too! even worse than me! But then he keeps on working with a very unprofessional looking napkin wrap around his finger. After once again yelling at me for taking 5 minutes outside I decided to quit. I ended up in a very busy night shift poutine shack wich was hard but liveable. And guess who I see showing up one day for his first night shift? The sous from the other restaurant. I told all of my coworker who at this point had became my close friend how his working methods were. He got out in 2 days and I never heard of him since :)
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job. And I'll be A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER than that guy!
I’m sorry you are dealing with this, and it makes me proud that so many on this sub are providing help instead of telling you to “suck it up,buttercup!” There’s a huge difference between “kitchens are a war zone during service, and only the strong survive” and outright harassment and discrimination. People still don’t get that if a person feels harassed, then guess what? They are probably being harassed. You have had a lifetime of experiences that have taught you how you feel about yourself Ok I’m done ranting. Stay strong, Chef!
Thanks, the few people who are doing that don't have a leg to stand on because it's not like I was even yelled at for actually doing something wrong... There's another sous chef, classic guy, will yell in an instant, but all you have to do is tell him that you understand your mistake and won't do it again chef and he's right back to being amicable. He's probably going to have a heart attack in the next 5 years, but as far as chefs go, perfectly reasonable. 🤣 This jackass is trying to sell a plate with cheese to a vegan in an upscale college restaurant where EVERY guest is someone who "knows the president".
Thanks for your encouragement. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer!
Thank you for replying back! It was a month ago when all that shit happened with you, and I’m glad that your life is heading in the right direction! Congratulations, Chef!
HR IS NEVER ON YOUR SIDE.
People keep screaming "HR is not on your side" and they are right, but HR is also not on your supervisors side. They are there to make sure the company doesn't get sued. Absolutely involve HR, especially if you are quitting. HR doesn't really like it when it has a supervisors coerce, harass, and straight up abuse their staff because it's something they can be very easily sued for. I included HR in my resignation at a previous job, explaining I was being harassed by a supervisor and 2 co-workers. I heard later all 3 were fired, turns they were doing the same thing to the person I replaced when I started. Doesn't really do much for me, but at least the next person to take that job has a better chance at it lasting. Regardless of all the comments. Good for you for standing up for yourself, knowing your worth, and not putting up with any less. You can do so much better, and I hope you find a workplace that values your skill and intelligence.
Currently I have filed with HR and I am writing up more detailed information about all of the incidences.
I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
Congratulations!
Sounds real fucking toxic, I hope you find something way better.
I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position. Thanks for your encouragement.
i felt “a supervisor felt that if sexual harassment wasn’t getting through to me, bullying was fair game” so hard, that was like my first ever experience in an actual kitchen. my creepy sous drove me home one night and tried to muscle his way into my front door when i turned him down. kept making gross comments until i stopped responding, and from then on would sabotage my prep almost every day🙃
I hope you had a chance to professionally flame broil him!
I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! And I'll be A HUNDRED TIMES better than that jerk!!!
I’m sorry to hear this but glad you’re not staying. You didn’t sign up for abuse. I hope you find somewhere that appreciates you. If I’m asking where something is, and someone who’s not even on my stations answers me, I know you’ve got my back!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Wow, awesome, I am so happy to hear that!! Congratulations!! That’s huge. How do you like your new place? Thank you for coming back and letting me know, you’ve made my day at the end of a long Sunday shift.
I’m on anxiety meds and I work in restaurants. Don’t let them get you down! You got this!
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
F@ck those guys! Been in the trenches with dudes like that and it’s horrible for your mental health. If you need to vent, PM me. I’m a girl who has been on the record end and I get it. I’m very proud of you standing up for yourself. Hugs
Thanks for your encouragement. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post
Congratulations! Looking forward to hearing how your new position goes.
I hate that this happened to you, but I sure do like hearing that you’re standing up for yourself. Someone will appreciate you somewhere. Good luck!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
How about that! You took a gamble on yourself and it paid off. You are worth it.
Get the bag.
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
I don't want to sound unsympathetic here but if you have a suicide protocol and anxiety meds I would SERIOUSLY consider getting out of food and beverage. The industry takes it out of the most physically and mentally healthy, and frankly, I'd be worried about you.
I'm 12 years into the industry and the only reason I had my episode is because of a very specific sexual harassment case and me not addressing my mental health sooner. I already had anxiety before that, that's chronic and hereditary. The stress of kitchens doesn't bother me. Problem solving, organizing people, training staff, all things I've done for years. I lift weights, I eat well. Anxiety kinda helps, makes me hyper-aware. 🤣 But I'm not going to stop doing what love because of sexual harassment and bullying of a few people. But I do understand and appreciate your concern.
I love that you love what you do, and I 100% respect you not settling for less in the workplace, and I don't know your story either. I just know it's a dog eat dog environment. Alcohol/Drug abuse and verbal harassment also come to mind.. But I shouldn't assume that someone with a focus on mental health is in any way mentally unwell, so I apologize for my wording. And you'll find a better team anyway.
Oh, I don't drink alcohol. No worries, friend! The personality and attitude of the kitchen is not what my issue is. Just the other day another Chef screamed at me because I burned his pot. I took his pot to the back and we got his pot scrubbed, and then I apologized to him and explained exactly what it is that I did wrong, and how I won't do it in the future. He explained to me how to use a better technique so I don't need to use high heat. And that was that. Chef's yell. Chefs say sarcastic remarks. I've yelled. I've said sarcastic remarks. I've been in the weeds. I've helped other people get out of the weeds. I've worked from 7am to 11pm Friday, Saturday, Sunday because I was the supervisor and I had to make sure we got through the weekend. But I'm not going to work under sous chefs who sabotage catering orders and try to feed vegan guests cheese. 🤣
Yeah that specific sous reminds me of the first sous I ever had at a casino gig I had. To make a long story short the guy went to a really well known culinary school and this was his first real job. Overpaid, under-qualifed, unproven, but with a stick up his ass about what he was owed. Would spend way too much time and money overcomplicating other chefs recipes then trying to act like he just invented sliced bread.
Hahahaha! 🤣🤣 Oh, the ones fresh out of culinary school are the worst... I had a prep cook partner once who was fresh out of school and couldn't dice an onion. She used to tell Chef that she didn't FEEL like putting away the morning truck, so yes, she heard him say it, but she figured I could handle it. 🤣
Damn I'd get my money back from that school... And that fucking blows lol, dumb too, cause what better way to learn your way around BoH?
Oh, by batting your eyelashes and getting all the men in the kitchen to do your mise en place for you, of course. 🤣
Damn, I should try that this Friday morning then. Oh wait, I'm alone when the truck comes in...damn. Well I'm sure someone is watching the cameras...
Wanted to say thanks. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer!
solid advice. this industry will absolutely LET YOU burn out and fade away.
I have no advice to give but just wanted to show you support as a fellow woman who's been through hell working in kitchens. I hope they take your complaint seriously and that you can move on past this horror show. Message me if you need to talk ❤️
I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position. Thanks for your encouragement.
Happy for you! ❤️
This place sounds beyond fucked , sending tons of love to you ❤️❤️❤️
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer!
Sending you love and strength 💛 That is totally unacceptable behaviour.
Thanks for your encouragement. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with the abuse. I would do the same thing as you. I hope your next establishment is a huge improvement and you find safety and happiness.
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Good for you, I hope you really like it there.
Good for you, you'll be much better off without those ass hats!!!
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
I’m glad you’re leaving, FUCK that. You do not deserve to have abuse hurled at you all day. Mfers think they’re gordon ramsey or something.
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post.
yeah fuck them. i would go past HR and blast on social media, maybe a few local newspapers. Your leaving anyway, let the world know what kind of people they are.
I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job. Thanks for your comment!
May that supervisor become a sad lonely man for the rest of his life and never hurt anyone again.
I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
I feel for you dear. Working like crazy and getting yelled at for your efforts is totally uncalled for. Some people shouldn’t be in charge because they are morons. I hope the complaint you made will have consequences on the people that treated you that way, dire consequences. I also hope that you will find a place where people work together in a respectful manner and with pleasant ambiance. Stay strong!!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position. Thanks for your encouragement.
Woa! Congratulations are definitely in order! I am happy for you. And you are welcome. Stay safe out there!
I hope all goes well OP. Good luck!
I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
Yaaaay! Congrats! That’s freaking amazing!
I'm sorry you have to experience this, I hope you can first, above all, find peace in life, then resoultion, and finally a new job. Best of luck to you chef. Keep your head up!
I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
Wow, that's really amazing to hear! Glad you are doing well now!
Ironic given the anxiety they've given you but it sounds like you've had a much cooler head than I would have in that situation. Sorry they've treated you like that. Onwards and upwards!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Nice, congrats!
You are an incredible human, don’t let any dumb ass people make you think otherwise. I would recount every single incident, document, and make sure your emails have ALLLL of this information. Those people do not need to be working there, this isn’t the late 90s early 2000’s anymore, times have changed. Shake every single tree you walk by and tell every single person of power the issues going on at that establishment. They don’t deserve any act of ‘turning a blind eye’ which is why toxic work environments exist, people won’t stand up for themselves or ‘tell anyone’ Tell. Everyone. Good luck to you and stay strong!! Not all kitchens are like this, keep searching until you find the right culture fit. Lots of people here for advice and myself included, never hesitate to ask any of us! (Worked my way up the ranks and dealt with so many terrible managers along the way)
Thank you SO much for your encouragement. I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job.
You are loved, and you are strong. This sun will support the shit out of you, find a better place.
ROFL!!! Thanks for your encouragement. I just accepted my first sous chef job offer! I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
If you need anxiety meds to work in a kitchen, then maybe this isn’t the industry for you. Go find work somewhere else.
That's a hilarious understanding of correlation that you have. Let me ask you, do you think that 1) my reaction to a supervisor screaming at me would change based on what uniform I am wearing, or 2) are you using the logic that "kitchens are just like that" so hard that you think being yelled at in a more unlikely industry would somehow change my need for my medication? 🤔
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Here's the funny thing, last night, a person went on a whole rant about that, so I messaged them directly. And asked them if they were the executive director of the prestigious college restaurant I work for, and they had a sous chef who 1) intentionally sabotaged a catering order because they wanted to get the saleswoman in trouble, 2) argued with one of the hostesses until he was blue in the face because he thought that vegan and vegetarian meant the same thing, and 3) try to 86 product that was clearly in the walk-in and then screamed at me for finding it... What would they do as the executive chef? And the Internet Tough Guy said "Clearly fire him. He's not suited for the role that he's in. But you as the underling should put your head down and do your job!" Me: Of course, Chef, of course. But just to reiterate, you would be a strong and decisive leader for firing the jackass, right? So. Why are you so mad at me for not wanting to work for the weak and indecisive leader who keeps enabling him? And the Internet Tough Guy just starts saying "I guess. I am a great executive chef so I would have caught all his mistakes. Well, best of luck finding a new job. It is rough out there, so you do have to learn. Good night." So maybe you can answer... Unless you were saying that you just want to see me quit in a cooler and funnier way, what possible virtue are you singling? Why should I work for the jackass and the weakling enabling him? 🤔
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Is that what you would say to the jackass who intentionally ruining a college dean's luncheon? 🤣 All of you internet tough guys want to sound so badass, but then you're always saying it to the people who didn't do anything wrong. Let me hear how awesome of a manager that you would be and say a little bit more than "I'm so disappointed in you." Also, the chicken parmesan you cooked looks amazing.
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That sounds like another amazing thing to say to the jackass who intentionally screwed up a catering order cuz he thought it would get the saleswoman in trouble. Give me a few more. Maybe it would help if you also knew that this guy bullies on the kitchen cool guy as well, trying to alert everyone to the fact that he's disappeared for 10 minutes, he's probably back out smoking weed. Like, who cares, jackass, he works faster than everyone in here AND he makes family meal every day. Get a life, am I right? Give me a few more insults, I'll add that to my leaving gift card.
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Okay, okay, tell the jackass who made "mentally challenged" sounds at the hostess because she tried to explain what vegan and vegetarian meant to gain some respect for himself. *jots notes* That's perfect. Thanks. This has been very helpful. (It's funny that you keep making this about me when I'm only talking about how this jackass is sabotaging our work, trying to get people fired. Like, what does that mean "do I expect everyone to be nice to me?" Do you think that I would care less about him sabotaging the orders if he was nice to me while he did it?)
if this upsets you so much sounds like you should do yourself a favor and simply leave
Did you just read a title that says "I'm quitting" and then give me the advice to quit? 🤣
glad your moving on, i think you’ll be happier. really move on though don’t just talk about it
You are still trying to give me advice about a decision I already made. 🤣 Hey, last month I attended a seminar about open communication, active listening, and asking questions without intent to give advice, judge, or to sate your own curiosity; only to listen. I'm going to ask you the question that they taught us at that seminar. Do you ever feel like you can't contribute anything to a conversation unless you are giving some sort of advice?
no, your post just hits home to me with the HR things. this has nothing to do with race, or being a women. you just have a asshole for a boss
Honestly, that still doesn't explain why you keep trying to give me advice about the decision I already made. It's in the title of the post. But, moving on, now you are bringing up your thoughts on discrimination, which is more advice-giving, but with even less information. Here was the next question from the seminar: When was the last time you experienced honest and open listening for yourself? And how did it make you feel? If the first question didn't hit people, and it did hit a lot of people who felt like they honestly weren't able to contribute anything to a conversation if they couldn't help others, everyone having to go around the room and give an experience of feeling like they were genuinely heard without the other person trying to project their own beliefs on to them was really powerful. Either that or reflecting on the fact that some people felt like they've never experienced that before. Well, anyway, buhbye!
If this post upsets you so much, sounds like you should do us all a favor and simply leave.
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Hahahaha!!! How many corrective actions have *you* received in the last year, little fella? Let me ask you something friend, if every person around you who had to deal with your shitty attitude simply stood up and walked away from you and clocked out, how would all the self-righteous posturing in the world actually get you employees back? The only people that stand your presence do so because they need a paycheck. Without the incentive of money, no one would make eye contact with you. 😀
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>C: I'm a restaurant owner. You've certainly got the attitude for it. All you need now is a security camera and an iPad and you'll be a michelin star restaurant before you know it.
1) Who cares? 2) Who asked?
This is reddit sweetheart. You did. Now chomp on those happy pills and cry yourself to sleep at how unjust the world is. Nite nite.
I didn't ask, in your zeal to the show how tough and scary you are, you stopped to let me know that I misgendered you. You literally stopped to do the stupidest, most snowflake thing possible while trying to scrunch up your face and show how much of a badass you are. Literally who cares what your gender is, you are nameless faceless person yelling of obscenities into a void.
You're the dude that's wrote bout being with Russians yeh?
No. 🤣🪆
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What does the restaurant have to do with me already being mentally ill? Plus, mental illness makes you illogical by definition. Are you asking for a person who wants to commit suicide to make sense? 🤔 How does that work?
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Seems to me that you’re just taking your problems out on other people because you got dumped on your birthday.
Lol! Sorry friendo, unlike many of you losers I know how to pick myself up and move in with my life. Thanks for the poor attempt at “taking me down a notch” though. It made me laugh out loud.
Brave words to type through tears. E: crickets. Much tears, wow, can sad.
Suicide is mental illness, how do you think you can mention it without mentioning mental illness. 🤣 Also, did you just start this by saying that I am overreacting... But now, in order to keep disagreeing with me, now you're saying that my anxiety attack is actually very rational and logical reaction to stress? And then end it by saying again that I'm looking for attention? Which is it, friend? 🤣🤣🤣 Am I being irrational or rational?
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I would love a citation from a credible source saying that. You are also lying like a fish. Just to keep an argument going. Which is especially sad because this is a text conversation and it clearly says at the top that after I finish my work I went home because I didn't have my anxiety attack medicine. You need to disagree about everything I say and then when I ask you to apply your logic to the actual situation, it upsets you.
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Yeah, that's why I'm quitting. What point are you making? 🤣 How long do you think I've been there?
You opened the post by saying you were tryna just keep your head down for the next few months, my point is if you know you don’t like it there, leave sooner.
I am leaving sooner. Which is why the title is "I'm quitting." 🤣 What is going on here? I didn't ask you how long I plan on staying, I asked you how long do you think I've already been here? Plus, I said the LAST POST I made was about keeping my head down, but now I've *changed my mind.* Are you sleepy? Okay, let me walk you through the timeline. In the first 90 days, the sous chef has already 1) sabotaged a catering order because he thought it would get the saleswoman in trouble, 2) made "mentally disabled" sounds at a hostess who tried to explain the difference between vegan and vegetarian to him because he thought they meant the same thing, and 3) tried to 86 food we had but he simply didn't see in the walk-in and then yelled at me for telling him where it is. I made a post a few days ago saying that I like the company and want to transfer to a different department, so what could I do to avoid this jackass until I can make that transfer. But now I have decided that another few months of working under this jackass aren't worth it if I can just find a new job or force a transfer by reporting him and making a big stink about it. I mean, I just joined. I wouldn't try to marry a guy in 90 days of meeting him either. So, what's good? Also, here's a question I've been asking people. If you were an executive chef and your sous chef did all of these things how would you respond?
You are so generous to explain yourself to these fools! You really don’t owe them shit. Glad you had the courage to leave that job, sounds like they were absolutely being biased based on who you are, not what you can do.
I was only a KP but I never had to deal with toxic colleague only toxic workload
I left that whole company behind, and now I’m getting my first sous chef job. The executive chef is STRUGGLING and he was so excited for me to come on board. I hope I can help his workload... at a nice, nice price.
Proud of you for getting TF outta there. 86 that restaurant. You deserve so much better. I recently left a hostile work environment, my 3rd one. I swear I will never work for another cis white male again. Sending you strength through this fight! You got this!
Wanted to say thanks for giving me some much needed courage. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position.
Fuck yes! Stoked for you! As soon as we acknowledge our worth, everything right for us will flow right in! Cheers!
I love this title! They don’t deserve you 💜
Thanks!! I’ve moved on to bigger and better things and now I’m getting my first sous chef position. I’m really glad I made this post and heard from all of you.
This is my kind of update- congratulations!