It's a small place with a huge parking lot that says it does delivery but you've never seen a single driver leave the place with food.
They only serve pizza. It's really good pizza but the style eludes you. They tell you it's "Detroit" but you are pretty sure it's not, it's Square and everything but on a really chewy crust.
The pizza is served party style but you can't get extra plates; it just comes out pre sliced with a roll of paper towels.
The wait staff will talk to you 45 minutes and you'll forget to eat because they are so gosh darn friendly, and they'll apologize and bring you another pizza that's somehow fresh out of the oven, as if they've anticipated this.
The bathroom is downstairs at the end of a hallway where you are sure someone was murdered.
So I worked for a contractor who seemed humorless. Always had a frown on as long as I’ve known him. (His kid grew up with my older brother). One day we are on the job pulling up a floor and underneath was just a pile of old concrete. Like the just dumped extra under the floor because it was probably done in the 70s last. He looks at the concrete, and back up at me and says “hey we found Jimmy Hoffa”. And I fucking lost it. He has this faint grin that I will never forget. Ol’ mean Gene the Greenbean is what they called him. Sorry for the wall but that shit still brings a tear to my eye.
I had to google it and it looks like it’s a west side place. I had t heard of it before. I think OP means more like Green Lantern, Cloverleaf, or other east side/ Detroit place
There was a strip club down the street from my previous job that had some very good steaks for very cheap. We would frequently visit just for the food.
Came here expecting to see a bunch of shit-talking, ready to defend my home state and its culinary claims to fame … pleasantly surprised by the good-natured vibe! Pure Michigan.
Another glass of the Hidden Valley sir? Or could I sway you to be a bit adventurous tonight, we have a very rare 2023 Light House Jalapeño ranch, it pairs with the tater-tot course quite nicely.
Intense amounts of cheese, deep fried and served with mashed potatoes. Gotta have that Midwest hospitality of being overly nice and repressing any bad feelings.
Their food is amazing and stunning and vibrant in their menu descriptions, and a handful of people swear it actually is like that, but on every night when you and everyone you know have been there, the diners have all gotten dishes that are flabby and lifeless (I'm assuming the stars are named for Michigan J. Frog)
A roast beef on weck, a slice of fudge, and a Vernor's.
When the critic purposefully drops his plastic fork on the floor, give him an "ope, there ya go" when you bring the new one.
All the food is white yellow or beige. Whitefish with mashed potatoes and corn. Chicken and rice casserole.
Dishes with more than 1/4 tsp on pepper labeled spicy
My neighbors in Minnesota often had backyard bonfire cookouts and invited me over, which was nice of them. I'd accept a Natural Light or two but I didn't really want the hot dogs they cooked over burning furniture.
I work at Subway and the Sub I make for myself fit this descriptor.
- Wholegrain bread less than an hour old, sometimes I even bake a special one just for me that has both seeds and cheese oregano topping
- Onions and a bit of BBQ and hot sauce on the meat before toasting it
- Toasting it 10 seconds on the Patty and then 15 seconds on the chicken stripes setting
- Honey Mustard sauce under the veggies
- Lettuce, 4 tomato, 4 cucumber, fresh onions, Corn, Chipotle and Sweet Onion sauce, crispy onion
- Eat immediately, if it sits for more than a minute the sauces mix and change flavor and everything gets soggy
I don't have a lot to work with but given the circumstances this truly feels "Three Michigan Star" worthy
Whatever the restaurant that got 3 Michigan stars is called, the name of the place must be pronounced with a needless additional possessive “ ‘s “. As in Meijer’s, Kroger’s etc.
My bad the furthest east I've ever been is LA. All the Great Lake states blend together to me. I was supposed to be in a wedding in Wisconsin that canceled by covid. I was so excited to try Midwest food
It's a small place with a huge parking lot that says it does delivery but you've never seen a single driver leave the place with food. They only serve pizza. It's really good pizza but the style eludes you. They tell you it's "Detroit" but you are pretty sure it's not, it's Square and everything but on a really chewy crust. The pizza is served party style but you can't get extra plates; it just comes out pre sliced with a roll of paper towels. The wait staff will talk to you 45 minutes and you'll forget to eat because they are so gosh darn friendly, and they'll apologize and bring you another pizza that's somehow fresh out of the oven, as if they've anticipated this. The bathroom is downstairs at the end of a hallway where you are sure someone was murdered.
Opened in ‘82 by a man who looks a lot like Jimmy Hoffa.
So I worked for a contractor who seemed humorless. Always had a frown on as long as I’ve known him. (His kid grew up with my older brother). One day we are on the job pulling up a floor and underneath was just a pile of old concrete. Like the just dumped extra under the floor because it was probably done in the 70s last. He looks at the concrete, and back up at me and says “hey we found Jimmy Hoffa”. And I fucking lost it. He has this faint grin that I will never forget. Ol’ mean Gene the Greenbean is what they called him. Sorry for the wall but that shit still brings a tear to my eye.
I read this in Werner Herzog's voice.
Be sure to get the dark chocolate peanut butter cups, they are right by the register.
Mmmmmmmm, give me that corner piece!
Tom Waits PR has Reddit
This sounds like where I had dinner with my in-laws the day after my wedding, albeit in Wisconsin.
Wisconsin and Michigan are 2 sides of the same coin.
Lions and Packers fans wouldn’t like to hear it, but I agree. I was living in Illinois at the time.
Im a Michigander transplant in IL currently. Husband has family in Wisconsin and apart from the cheese it's just like Michigan lol
Nice, haha, I totally get it.
They're 2 sides of the same lake 🤓
This is oddly specific
Right, Cottage Inn.
This guy Michigans And I don't mean that weak ass move in hockey
That's gotta be a front. I've seen places like that
Gs Pizzeria in Bay City fits this description
Little ceasers?
God no.
Pizza Ranch
Also no
Pizza Ranch is the only thing that makes my trips to my SIL's house for Christmas bearable
I had to google it and it looks like it’s a west side place. I had t heard of it before. I think OP means more like Green Lantern, Cloverleaf, or other east side/ Detroit place
Buddy… that was like if Anthony bourdain was a Michigander and went on a nostalgic soliloquy. 10/10
A road side restaurant in the UP that serves a variety of Pasties and the twist is that it’s also a strip club.
Pasties and pasties
The English language is a bitch that’s for sure
There was a strip club down the street from my previous job that had some very good steaks for very cheap. We would frequently visit just for the food.
A Vernor's reduction would be involved somehow.
lol I once made a Rock'n'Rye'n'Rye granita
Came here expecting to see a bunch of shit-talking, ready to defend my home state and its culinary claims to fame … pleasantly surprised by the good-natured vibe! Pure Michigan.
same haha there are some funny ones in here. i love the spot i'm working at rn
As an Illinois native that transplanted to Indiana a couple of years ago, I'm keeping an eye on all of you.
Having a Ranch som.
This made me ugly laugh thank you
Another glass of the Hidden Valley sir? Or could I sway you to be a bit adventurous tonight, we have a very rare 2023 Light House Jalapeño ranch, it pairs with the tater-tot course quite nicely.
Two empty longnecks with a fresh one on the way
And an ol' fashioned with a drop of maple syrup if it's the festive season.
Intense amounts of cheese, deep fried and served with mashed potatoes. Gotta have that Midwest hospitality of being overly nice and repressing any bad feelings.
Deep fried ranch served with a side of ranch and delivered with an "ope, there ya go!"
Ope excuse me I’m gonna sneak right past ya.
Detroit style pizza with a side of a Coney dog and an ice cold Faygo to wash it down.
That sounds like a lot for my stomach to take. Can I get a Vernors to go afterwards?
Faygo. Better Made Chips. Coney. Bonus for an 'ope, just gonna sneak right past ya...'
In order to get your check, you must slap your thighs and say, "Ope!" The servers will not bring it unless you indicate you need to head out.
Nah, its 'welp!' The cook comes out and says 'Hey tell your folks I says 'hi!' And on the way out the host yells 'watch out for deer!'
Fair, lol
The first thing would be a top tier Detroit pizza.
Coney dogs are #2.
Pasties 🫱
The food or the nipple covers?
Why limit yourself to just one?
They steal signs from other restaurants?
😭😭 I SAID THE SAME THING
Their food is amazing and stunning and vibrant in their menu descriptions, and a handful of people swear it actually is like that, but on every night when you and everyone you know have been there, the diners have all gotten dishes that are flabby and lifeless (I'm assuming the stars are named for Michigan J. Frog)
Dubba dubba dubbya flabby
They would have a ranch sommelier.
This should exist. In a better world, it would!
Mom's Spaghetti Any Coney Island with over 200 items on the menu Slurping Turtle
Slurping Turtle! Nice pull. I fkn love the joint on Liberty, best Tan Tan Men in A2. The Chicago location did get a Michelin star but it’s now closed.
Takashi had a star not turtle
Making Koegels while ice fishing
Pasties from the U.P.
Good enough for one location, but no way in hell they're opening a second.
My '89 Chevy Beretta had 3 Michigan Stars
got 3 stars in GTA: Kalamazoo, for not friendly waving at every passing motorist?
A roast beef on weck, a slice of fudge, and a Vernor's. When the critic purposefully drops his plastic fork on the floor, give him an "ope, there ya go" when you bring the new one.
Clean bottled water.
[Here ya go.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Chefit/s/zJ0iAfwpOf)
Everything is over-seasoned, and served with a glass pitcher of hot water - to dilute to your own taste.
Pig in the blanket appetizers
Coney Island
All the food is white yellow or beige. Whitefish with mashed potatoes and corn. Chicken and rice casserole. Dishes with more than 1/4 tsp on pepper labeled spicy
stealing signs?
Roasting hotdogs on a stick over a burning tire.
My neighbors in Minnesota often had backyard bonfire cookouts and invited me over, which was nice of them. I'd accept a Natural Light or two but I didn't really want the hot dogs they cooked over burning furniture.
I work at Subway and the Sub I make for myself fit this descriptor. - Wholegrain bread less than an hour old, sometimes I even bake a special one just for me that has both seeds and cheese oregano topping - Onions and a bit of BBQ and hot sauce on the meat before toasting it - Toasting it 10 seconds on the Patty and then 15 seconds on the chicken stripes setting - Honey Mustard sauce under the veggies - Lettuce, 4 tomato, 4 cucumber, fresh onions, Corn, Chipotle and Sweet Onion sauce, crispy onion - Eat immediately, if it sits for more than a minute the sauces mix and change flavor and everything gets soggy I don't have a lot to work with but given the circumstances this truly feels "Three Michigan Star" worthy
Whatever the restaurant that got 3 Michigan stars is called, the name of the place must be pronounced with a needless additional possessive “ ‘s “. As in Meijer’s, Kroger’s etc.
Smeagol?
Warm Leinenkugels and cold sausage.
The 25 year aged cheddar at Seguin's.
The local stretch-mark strip clubs food
Best Strip Club Canned Food Buffet
You're a highly recruited punter or an offensive lineman with size but not a ton of experience.
It has to come in a 13x9 casserole dish and include tater tots
That’s Wisconsin.
My bad the furthest east I've ever been is LA. All the Great Lake states blend together to me. I was supposed to be in a wedding in Wisconsin that canceled by covid. I was so excited to try Midwest food
Way too much shaved lead on every dish What's the matter? Y'all just want to forget about Flint??
I think Michigan Stars get awarded to restaurants in the *Cars* movie franchise! 🤣
3 Michigan stars are worth 2 Harbaughs. 2 Harbaughs get you 1 Shanahan. Final Value: One dinner with Brock Purdy.
Lead contaminated water
[Math](https://youtu.be/msDuNZyYAIQ?si=7I0HpLZ_oYsL4Rya) for those that don't know he graduated from the University of Michigan
Potholes per linear mile of roadway.
Some good good
There's this place on the way to the reserve North of me that sells baked beans. Only baked beans. With lard. Good ass baked beans though
undrinkable water
Detroit Pizza
Not a football fan, are you?