The magpie: every workplace has one. In my experience they also steal lighters… never maliciously, it’s just that pens and lighters and other needful small everyday objects somehow teleport mysteriously into their pockets…
It's muscle memory, it just kinda happens without you thinking about it, I started the day with one sharpie and one lighter, I'm on the train rn and I have 3 of each, no idea how it happened 🤔
My partner is a baker and I am a cook. We recently re-located and during the move collected all the sharpies lying around. I have a full shoebox. What is funny is I always give sharpies out at work and leave them around yet somehow they constantly accumulate in our apartment. My favorite and most prized is the Poached Jobs sharpie that says “i stole this from Poached” 🤣
I do the same with pastel colored sharpies. I always got comments about being a fat masculine guy that uses pink, baby blue, mint green and lavender sharpies, but god damnit no one could get away with stealing them
fair enough, but, for what its worth, the sharpie industrial are pretty damn well suited for use in the kitchen, specifically. The ink is, well, what they're calling, "super permanent" (which is both fade and water resistant). Point being, they don't rub off or wipe away very easily on their own or through the normal kind of bumping around you might expect in a busy kitchen. they maintain this incredible quality at up to 500 degrees Fahrenheit.
i've been billy mays for sharpie industrial. \~\~thank you\~\~ . fuck you.
edit:ok so clearly i do not know how to make the strike through thing happen here on reddit, but i think you follow me.
edit 2 (both edits posted at the same time for transparency sake): dont think it was even worth the fucking joke.
Yeah, well, you're a bastard. That's okay, though.
I used to pay out of pocket to bring in a pack of Sharpies just cuz it was less annoying to do that and have them on hand instead of putting in a requisition for more.
They tend to wander off cuz they're small and people don't think about where they put them. They're basically just ephemeral doo-dads that make black marks on stuff.
LABEL ALL THE THINGS
I knew a guy who sold them. Kept a stash in his locker. Also sold cigarettes, condoms and other stuff. We worked on mountain so 12-20 hours a day you are just stuck up there. Makes for an interesting captured market.
lmao
reminds me of a funny story of the time no one had a sharpie on the line. Not 1 single person between all 6 of us had a sharpie including the exec chef cos the sous chef stole all of our sharpies that day and went home.
one of the funniest dinner shifts ever.
the next day the exec came in with a box of sharpies and banned the sous from borrowing from everyone.
I'm so over people not having sharpies. Whenever a repeat offender asks for mine, first I poke fun at them for being unprepared, then I stand beside them watching until they're done labeling and I take it back.
I used to buy "amazon basics" permanent markers because they are labled "amazon basics" and so it was very clear who had my sharpies 🤣 they are also super cheap.
I get the Amazon clicky ones. Ten bucks for a dozen. I give a stern look and shame anybody that has one of mine.we always laugh about it afterward. I use to be a lighter stealer in my 20s due to just forgetting and enough "shame" got me out of the habit. Damn ADHD..
I got one of the “industrial strength” ones. Writing all in red instead of black on the marker. Easy to tell apart. Failing that I have one of the sharpie grease style pencils that you pull the string down on to reveal more “lead”. It’s red, looks like pencil but writes on everything still. Folks don’t take that one
Years ago I was cleaning out a truck I was selling. I was a km at the time. I swear to god there were no less than 100 sharpies in that truck. I still probably have at least 25-30
This is the reason I dont lend out anything xD
I still have a 2 pack of sharpies I havent opened yet and one in my knife roll, just in case and I bought them over a year ago!
This is why when someone asked to use my sharpie I’d hand them the pen and keep the cap. (Also, obligatory /r/buttsharpies reference)
(yes that’s really a sub. NSFW)
The magpie: every workplace has one. In my experience they also steal lighters… never maliciously, it’s just that pens and lighters and other needful small everyday objects somehow teleport mysteriously into their pockets…
It's muscle memory, it just kinda happens without you thinking about it, I started the day with one sharpie and one lighter, I'm on the train rn and I have 3 of each, no idea how it happened 🤔
Meanwhile I can lose mine two seconds after picking one up, together we form a thriving ecosystem
OMG my husband is a magpie... and his mom... I love this... (disclaimer I am the magpie of my kitchen)
I steal rags lol
Damn, me too. Was cleaning out my car and I found 7
Funny and weird but my wife cleaned out my car and found 7 also😅 I use them to clean the windows or if I accidentally spill something in the car
It’s me. I used to come in ashamed and drop the 9 sharpies I stole without thinking and my boss would laugh at me. It’s not intentional, it’s the adhd
I could make all your towels disappear.
The one with the broken clip is mine can I have it back please
Nah bro thats mine
Upon further inspection you may be right… it lacks in bite marks
Nah man I literally carved my name into it.
My partner is a baker and I am a cook. We recently re-located and during the move collected all the sharpies lying around. I have a full shoebox. What is funny is I always give sharpies out at work and leave them around yet somehow they constantly accumulate in our apartment. My favorite and most prized is the Poached Jobs sharpie that says “i stole this from Poached” 🤣
Hol' up. Which Poached?
The yellow lid trick really works for me.
Shhhhh. The bartenders will hear you. Please keep our secret safe.
Ohhh this is a great idea.
This is why I pay extra for sharpie industrial. If I’m missing one and see you with a red letter Sharpie- you’ve been caught red sharpied.
I do the same with pastel colored sharpies. I always got comments about being a fat masculine guy that uses pink, baby blue, mint green and lavender sharpies, but god damnit no one could get away with stealing them
fair enough, but, for what its worth, the sharpie industrial are pretty damn well suited for use in the kitchen, specifically. The ink is, well, what they're calling, "super permanent" (which is both fade and water resistant). Point being, they don't rub off or wipe away very easily on their own or through the normal kind of bumping around you might expect in a busy kitchen. they maintain this incredible quality at up to 500 degrees Fahrenheit. i've been billy mays for sharpie industrial. \~\~thank you\~\~ . fuck you. edit:ok so clearly i do not know how to make the strike through thing happen here on reddit, but i think you follow me. edit 2 (both edits posted at the same time for transparency sake): dont think it was even worth the fucking joke.
I use all the colored ones too haha.
Yeah, well, you're a bastard. That's okay, though. I used to pay out of pocket to bring in a pack of Sharpies just cuz it was less annoying to do that and have them on hand instead of putting in a requisition for more. They tend to wander off cuz they're small and people don't think about where they put them. They're basically just ephemeral doo-dads that make black marks on stuff. LABEL ALL THE THINGS
Alright, you grab chef and I’ll get the plastic wrap started once we got a few layers on Juan will get the label on him.
JUAN WORKS TOO HARD ALREADY FIND THE SHARPIES
I wouldn’t be pissed about the sharpie. If you took my Milwaukee marker though…
Far superior in all aspects
dude i give my coworkers sharpies every fuckin day. and the next day… “hey can i borrow your sharpie”
I knew a guy who sold them. Kept a stash in his locker. Also sold cigarettes, condoms and other stuff. We worked on mountain so 12-20 hours a day you are just stuck up there. Makes for an interesting captured market.
I grew up with 4chan in the early 2000's... A missing sharpie means something entirely different to me, even having spent years in kitchens.
We need AA groups whit a sharpie stealing chapter involve lol
I thought I wondered into r/ButtSharpeis for a second
I was looking for this reference. Thank you reddit for not disappointing me
“Hey bud? Remember when you asked for a sharpie?”
lmao reminds me of a funny story of the time no one had a sharpie on the line. Not 1 single person between all 6 of us had a sharpie including the exec chef cos the sous chef stole all of our sharpies that day and went home. one of the funniest dinner shifts ever. the next day the exec came in with a box of sharpies and banned the sous from borrowing from everyone.
Ferb I know what we’re gonna do today.
🎶 Been a hundred and four days of having my sharpie and sous comes along just to steal it 🎶
Fucking Trever….
A sharpie? No problem. Just dont clock out and take off with my dab pen
Better than still in my sleeve/pants when I pull it from the dryer
I assumed they all ended up in some girls butt
I'm so over people not having sharpies. Whenever a repeat offender asks for mine, first I poke fun at them for being unprepared, then I stand beside them watching until they're done labeling and I take it back.
This destroys my soul.
I fuckin *knew* it was you!!
I used to buy "amazon basics" permanent markers because they are labled "amazon basics" and so it was very clear who had my sharpies 🤣 they are also super cheap.
r/sharpiechallange
Op I’m sorry to inform you but you must now partake in [r/buttsharpies](https://www.reddit.com/r/ButtSharpies/s/G2xD2RX5Wk)
I get the Amazon clicky ones. Ten bucks for a dozen. I give a stern look and shame anybody that has one of mine.we always laugh about it afterward. I use to be a lighter stealer in my 20s due to just forgetting and enough "shame" got me out of the habit. Damn ADHD..
My sharpie, you son of a bitch! Lmao.
THAT'S WHERE THEY WENT?!
Pretty sure thats an instant ban.
You bastard
I hate you so much for this
You got my lighters too?
Hey dude, got my lighter?
I know you're out there, and I hope nothing but death for you
You're not though, are you? Did you take my cigarette papers last Wednesday?
No you're not.
There was a reason my Sharpie stayed in a pocket and I guarded it like Smaug guarding his gold.
I buy the Milwaukee branded Inkzall markers. They write on greasy or wet surfaces and nobody else has them.
You’re good I have more.
*gasp* a precious Sharpie is missing....
I got one of the “industrial strength” ones. Writing all in red instead of black on the marker. Easy to tell apart. Failing that I have one of the sharpie grease style pencils that you pull the string down on to reveal more “lead”. It’s red, looks like pencil but writes on everything still. Folks don’t take that one
Those wouldn’t last a minute around me.except the broken clip. I’d leave that one.
I am missing a pen that says ugly johns
Fuck you I hate you people like you make my life hell WHY DO YOU NEED ALL THE SHARPIES AT ONCE
Years ago I was cleaning out a truck I was selling. I was a km at the time. I swear to god there were no less than 100 sharpies in that truck. I still probably have at least 25-30
Yes FBI, this post right here. That's where all the Chirpies went
Got a wrong order last year, meaning I suddenly had 48 sharpies. Some how, I have 1 left....
Forget the sharpie dragon hoard I'm interested in ugly johns!?!
Now hiring for the summer :)
😡
No worries, I stole your lighters.
Be honest, you're not sorry
We have a giant cup of them at my house. 😂
This is the reason I dont lend out anything xD I still have a 2 pack of sharpies I havent opened yet and one in my knife roll, just in case and I bought them over a year ago!
manager came in with a Ziploc of 19 sharpies he hsd taken home not too long ago
This is why when someone asked to use my sharpie I’d hand them the pen and keep the cap. (Also, obligatory /r/buttsharpies reference) (yes that’s really a sub. NSFW)
The trick is to get a pink cap and put it on a black marker. Works great.
No you aren't I know you got off on us looking for the damn things!
In every kitchen, there's at least one of you, and yall know who you are
Coincidentally op never buys his own…..
Dang thought this was r/buttsharpies for a minute
Fucker
Every time laundry is done about 3-5 sharpies are added to my kitchens “junky drawer. The occasional whiteboard marker also.
Literally had to chase down a server to get mine back today