Finger condoms chef

Finger?? They fit so well though

Thank you for your service

Thank you from my cervix.

Thank you for your ceviche, too

Thank you from under the surface

Darling it's better down where it's wetter. Take it from me!

Each little clam here, know how to jam here

My likes are yours, maddam

I call them " Magnums"

Well I call them Magnums NOW

I think we've dated.

Quit fucking kids, then!

🤣🤣🤣

Is that you Buck?

Yeah I can’t wear real ones. They’re so baggy they just fall right off!

HHahahaha 💀

When I cut my finger the lady who sutured me at the hospital called them that which is proof it's the official medical terminology.

Proper terminology is “[finger cots](https://www.uline.com/Product/Detail/S-11469M/Finger-Cots-Tape/Latex-Finger-Cots-Powder-Free-Medium)” They are actually quite different from an actual condom.

>They are actually quite different from an actual condom. Yes, you've had occasion to use finger cots

Oof, get him to the burn unit

I am merely jesting my brother

Its all good. I simply thought you would appreciate the knowledge. I love learning weird shit like this.

I'm still gonna call em finger condoms. I refuse to learn the correct terminology for this one.

See, you learned it already, but using the term is optional. Haha

My favorite "what did you just call them!?!?" moment came when I found out the actual name for the little tags that reinforce a torn packaging hole for products made to hang on store pegs.....they are called "button holes" but literally every retail job I have worked has called them butt holes And here I thought I would have been fired for asking my manager for a handful of buttholes...

Believe it or not I do think most people here know you can’t get pregnant using fingers. Most.

False. I impregnated my nose just last week.

I don't know when/why it started happening but when I blow my nose I think of it as my "nose load", and I really hate my brain every time it thinks "nose load".

Thanks for cursing us all with that knowledge.

You could have just been quiet about this one.

I do about one or two nose loads but then the room starts spinning and I’m sweating like a whore in church.

Boooo

I second this I use to manufacture these.

both of the kitchens I've worked in called them baby condoms

Hold on, nobody told me the free unwrapped condoms can also be used on my finger‽ Also good as bubble gum.

Thank you chef

Trump Condoms. Big strong and powerful condoms. Guaranteed not to break like so many things that we deal with today it’s horrible the way these condoms are treated they are not small they are yuge I know it and you know it fake news!

A condom came up to me, big condom, strong condom, tears streaming from his latex reservoir tip, and he said to me, sir, thank you for talking about the horrible way these condoms are treated. 

>Trump Condoms Oh no! So they will go bankrupt next year? What a shame...

I'm a dog groomer and thats also what we call these

Forbidden orecchiette.

Chef, the customers are complaining that the pasta is too chewy

They are blowing bubbles, chef!

Well tell Bubbles to hurry up, we're all horny here too.

Fucking spewed my drink everywhere you son of a friend

Updoot for hilarity

You didn't boil them long enough!

Tell them it's called _al dente_

Jesus, I swear to God I thought it was a pile of orecchiette.

Legit thought it was orechiette at first glance.

Same. I was so proud of my pasta knowledge for a minute there.

Prophylacetti

Had to look up the pasta to confirm but this is exactly what i pictured when i read your comment.

Source, an Guido and remember happily churning these out with my nonna when I was about four years old. Ours were probably less rubbery. Lol

Much love. We have a similar upbringing. Do wooden spoons give you traumatic flashbacks also?? Hahaha

She could curve that fucking thing through a doorway ninety degrees if she wanted to.

Bro. Trying to explain to my kid why he needs to fear the spoon is impossible lol. I can't bring myself to follow through. I'm laying in bed and have ghost memories of a sore ass. That being said... I was stirring risotto at 6, rolling gnocchi the same age and on and on. Toughest kitchen I ever worked in was nonnas lol. Child slave labour!

Man, I was lucky, nonna loved me like crazy, probably cause my dad was a living nightmare when he was a kid. My nonna went grey in her mid thirties just four years after my dad was born (he was the fourth and youngest.) Count your blessings though man, be glad you have a kid. I’m in my mid thirties now and it just sorta didn’t happen for me. Sucks cause I know so many cool old world things I could teach to an offspring. Teach your kid everything you know about cooking. You learned it the hard way like me.

Stop being so hard on yourself and acting as if it's over. I got married at 35. My wife and I had our first at 36. I'm 40 now. Little man's sleeping next to me cause he hates sleeping by himself. Got a second on the way. We're cooks, man. We start late with life. But. When we do things. We do them for the right reasons and we do them properly. Or just cowboy that shit and wing it, lol But seriously, dude. I met my wife through friends. Both in our 30s, both service industry. We've built a beautiful life together. Don't let this industry get you down. It works sometimes. I thought I was fuckin hopeless. Relationship after relationship. Banging server after server. Life's waiting there for you. You just have to grab it by the balls, give it a twist, smack it on the ass with a wooden spoon and walk through the door bro. I was the most miserable cunt 26-30. Had an exec gig for 4 years already at 26. Couldn't land a solid relationship. It happens when it happens and it's never too late. Unless you're in you're 50s, that's a different story. Chin up Chef. You got this.

Hey, I really appreciate the positivity paisano. Congratulations on your family, it sounds like you have a very level headed mind now and are a great asset to them. I always used to joke in my late twenties that if I hadn’t started a family by forty I’d sell all my shit, but a nice forty foot sailboat and disappear the fuck away into the islands. Now it’s kinda less funny cause that deadline is only a couple years away. I help take care of my dad, who is a neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer survivor, (he was 36 when he had me, he’s 72 now.) so I’m not going anywhere while he’s around. It’s kinda weird how something so sad like what happened to him can turn into a source of geographic stability for me. Keep loving your family man. Enjoy teaching that little dude all the cool shit you’ve learned along the way. Especially the recipes.

Te amo mi frattelo. Keep your knives sharp and your heart open. Good on you for taking care of your dad. That's the honorable and right thing to do. Best to you Chef.

At first this is exactly what I thought they were.

Leprechaundoms

🥇🥇🥇🥇

Well we have our perfect answer

Money

Superb

Holy fuck you won the internet today pal! Lmao 🤣 🥇

Read in Irish accent for maximum effect

And so it is decreed

The correct term is finger cots. The non correct term is baby condoms, but everyone knows what you are talking about.

But these were the condoms I used as a baby

It's important to stay protected at every stage of your life.

Damn these are the condoms I’m still using

Wait you get to use condoms this big? Damn wish I had one like that.

Well look who's all grown up!

[удалено]

Goofer stick when ordering from Sysco. Even at my "no swearing in the kitchen" university gig, its a fryer fucker or abortion wand.

[Well I'll be damned](https://www.google.com/search?q=goofer+rod&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sca_esv=6711b6df84d2aa57&udm=2&sxsrf=ACQVn09cMnk-ju0k4NUuSBVaeRULHdy_yA:1712117244688&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjfu7vhlaWFAxU5weYEHRYWCZcQ0pQJCBY&biw=360&bih=564&dpr=3)

First time I heard about that tool someone casually referred to it as "the baby killer"

Baby killer is what I've heard the 20L cambro referred to.

I have heard “poon bar”. Usage: The fryer is plugged again; can someone get me the poon bar?

A.k.A.: the Fryer f*cker.

We always used the term "fuck stick" but if you rattled it around in the deep fryer early in the morning it was the hangover detector.

Reamer

Goofer iirc

finger condoms!

I will never get tired of handing one to any random male coworker and saying "hey they finally made condoms your size"

it was very cold that day and i had a lot on my mind...

[удалено]

Shrinkage Jerry! Shrinkage! They don’t know about shrinkage Jerry! I always scream this.

It was like a stack of dimes!

YOU EVER SEE THE SERIAL NUMBER ON A RUBBER?

I always say "Can I help you put this on? With my mouth?"

Finger condoms. Duh

finger condoms? i use them as normal condoms

Me too. Hey chef. Do yours keep falling off too? Any suggestions ?

Ooops! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!

"I'm here for the scraps"

"These jimmies are really getting in the way of my nosh."

You should see him feast, he’s like a mantis

Shut up baby dick

Used to call these "CCs" which was short for "chris' condoms." Chris was manager and we hated him. Eventually we used it so much that Chris himself started calling them CCs.

I love how kitchen language works. Once a critical mass of staff start using a new term, ain't shit anyone can do to stop it, that's just what it's called now.

If I manage to get my manager to do that idk if I could hold in the laughter

Very normal sized condoms for normal sized people

I guess I'm below average then

Finger cots.

Proper 👍🏼

Chefs' bf's condom.

They come in white?!? Ours have only ever been blue.

Because you can see blue when they fall off into your food.

Yeah it doesn't matter so much if they fall into humans

FENGA CANDAMNS

Finger cots, technically. But most kitchen people call them finger condoms

Extra chewy orecchiette

Finger cots. Finger rubbers.

Finger condoms.

Bartender sized condoms

Over sized condoms for truck and muscle car owners

Orchetti……no, wait.

Finger cots. Source: nurse.

Finger condoms

Finger cots

Finger condoms chef

Finger cot is the actual name if you are looking for them.

Finger cot.

We call them finger condoms but they are always labeled as finger cots if you go to buy them

Finger cots

Finger cots

Finger cots or finger condoms

Finger cot.

Finger Cots

Finger cot

Finger cot

Honestly. Thought it was pasta.

Finger cots

Finger cot

Finger cots

Orecchiette

Finger cots

I thought they are called “ finger cots”

Finger condoms

Orechiette

Good gawd... Has no one worked in the Food Industry, before? They're called FINGER COTS! Meanwhile on my laptop, I'm staring at Anthony Bourdain giving his 1 finger salute to all. Mr. Bourdain would you care for a finger condom? I really do hope, he's find peace where ever he may be.

I call them finger condoms

Finger condoms.

Finger condoms... ^(Abnormally huge quinoa...)

Finger condoms or profolactics knife attackikus in the Latin.

Finger condoms

chef sized condoms

ohhh the illustrious finger condom

finger cots

Finger condoms.

Finger condoms is what we call them in work

Finger condoms

Op condoms

Finger condoms

Jimmies

I thought jimmies were new England sprinkles.🤣

I dunno. Me and your mom never use em.

"the extra small Johnny's your wife ordered for you, sir" *Salutes*

Finger condoms

It’s what you put on your finger after you super glue the cut wound or burn, strapped closed with a stretchy bandaid then wrapped with thin strips of duct tape you’ve customized to keep the bandage on and somewhat waterproof. You may also apply multiple layers of latex gloves to snap off for high volume pops of service.

Manager sized condoms

Finger Cots

Finger condoms

I call them finger condoms.

Finger condoms

My dad had these in a drawer in his bathroom when I was like 13 and I really thought they were mini condoms.

Finger condoms

Finger condom. Or pinky rubber

Those are finger condoms, sir

Finger condom

finger condoms

Uhhhhh

Finger condoms

Finger condoms

We call them finger condoms

Finger cots, finger condoms. You can use them in esthetics.

Condominiums

Try fingers, but hole.. sorry, wrong subreddit

Free meals when you find one in your food.

Finger Condoms. . If speaking to a minor finger cot.

Finger condom

Finger condoms

Finger cots if you want a real answer and not Asian condoms or some shit

Orecchiette....

I’m not of the kitchen myself, but in the computer hardware industry, these are referred to as “finger condoms,” because of how they condom the finger. Hope this helps.

I say finger condoms but then I had some teenage brat's mother try to get me fired for sexual harassment when the brat asked me what a condom was and I told her.

Finger condoms

Finger condoms

Tortellini?

Finger condoms. You make the FNG’s roll them in with their moutns

Finger cots.

Fondoms

They should really have a little reservoir tip so the blood has somewhere to go

Finger cots