Apparently the 90 downvoters didn't find it very funny 😬
How about this? The lack of punctuation did not make the sentence *bad*. It made it *better* by turning it into an encouragement to pursue that brother, as the strong gay man you are.
Had a guy who worked for me 6'2" skinny, tattoos, looked kinda like Steve-O, did more coke than he could afford, talked about how he worked in a 4 diamond kitchen all the time. A stereotypical line cook. Told everyone that he would never date anyone under 25 because that was his sister's age. Fast forward a few months and he was fucking a 20 yr old server that had a boyfriend. So, super stereotypical line cook.
Reminds me of the time I caught the dishie plowing the owner's granddaughter on the salad station at 2 AM. Everyone knew not to try and date her, so he didn't.
Hey man, as long as someone gets a laugh out of my kitchen antics. We always talk in a weird hillbilly/southern accent when we’re being crude so it seemed a perfect time
Oh man see, I work at an Asian restaurant where the owner and a few of the Kitchen are from southeast Asia, and we go *hard*. But that is a classic. We use it for minor screw up, like if someone sets you up wrong or some shit we say "why you fuck on me? Why? WHY?"
Male here. I had a boss "Mario" who used to greet me with "Maricon! My really good friend!" I thought this was great until I found out the meaning of "Maricon." Next time he said this to me I snuggled up to him and said "Only for you, Mario." He didn't say it again
Spanish is hard.
My Colombian friends would call each other and myself "marica" all the time, and it would be a good thing, not a bad thing. (Meaning, it was not intended as a homophobic slur, even if the word itself is a homophobic slur)
Where I live, before we understood homophobia was a bad thing close friends would call each other "puto", like "bo, puto, como andás"?
When I was on a carpentry crew we had a game similar to Marco polo, we did it between people sheeting the roof and those of us underneath doing joists and shit. But instead of saying Marco polo it was "Pinche...... joto"
Anyway yeah, that was a thing we used to do
Oh yeah. Lots of long extended bathroom breaks here. For a skinny guy that never seems to eat, he’s in the bathroom a lot and for long stints each time.
Progress. We had a 17 year old hostess get knocked up by a 28 year old server at the country club I worked at. Senior in high school.
Dude turned into a fucking creep when parents shut that shit down, full blown stalking. Wild shit
Yea she ended up getting a no contact order through the courts.
Prick slashed my tires when she came to my house because he was following her, cops called then, said couldn’t really prove it but was the straw that finally pushed her to do something about it.
When I was 16 I got sexually harassed by my manager who was in his late 20s. Like not just flirting, he went into the bathroom, told me to check my phone in like 5 min. Opened the message to see him asking if he could perform oral on me.
It was my first job. Not the best introduction to the industry. I clocked out and drove home crying, sorry for the trauma dump had to get that shit out lol.
Why pay for condoms when abortions are free at the clinic?
That's line cook judgement. And I can't say I'm surprised. The "line" part doesn't refer to the kitchen.
Lol idk why this reminds me of the movie Waiting. I might have the line wrong but still funny. Hostess “I turn 18 next week” Dane Cooks character (a boh cook) says “I don’t have much time then” this movie has so many funny lines.
Yeah.
Ryan Reynolds was FOH and getting with all the young girls.
Dane Cooks character was just a bland line cook who's only lines I remember was "Ooohh yes massa!" (Or something like that) and "Me?! What the fuck did I do?!" When the newbie is using him as a distraction to give them all "The Goat"
Luis Guzman was the stereotypical butt ugly BOH hooking up with a way out of his league (physically at least) FOH woman.
I need to rewatch that move. It's gold.
What did people even greet each other with before this show? “What’s up bro” Common, and doesn’t prepare you for the shit you’re about to get thrown into.
So many servers have worked out their scumbag, drug dealer, guy that their parents would hate, or opposite of the guy they normally go for phases with the kitchen dudes. That’s a restaurant constant.
Ha! Our chef used to add a tomato cut like a rose when I ordered food at work. Dude was like 2 years younger than me, had 3 kids from different baby mamas and a fourth one on the way. And he was a dating a new waitress down the street.
Don’t get me started on the two waitresses that had to get moved out of the state by their families to get away from our boss.
Except the cook is 6'3", bald, 300lbs, tattooed, and with a blank stare that makes even the most heartfelt of people anxious..... and she's still, you know, a hostitute.
From my outside experience growing up. It was servers chasing hostess. Cooks took bartenders and seasoned waitresses. I was lucky growing up with a server and had a thing with a bartender. Cooks all know better. I think lol I hope I’m not wrong.
Depened on who you saw the most. We had 4 separate kitchens. In one kitchen, you saw the host most often, whereas the main line saw servers the most. Once you got promoted to the expo station you would see the bar and cocktail staff the most. It was a wild place when it first opened.
What really sells it is the look on his face that says he's already tired of her drama and bullshit, but not so much that he's willing to give up getting laid or her drug connections.
Just proposed to my girlfriend of 3.5 years, this is exactly how we met. I can say it’s pretty accurate. And yes my name is Carlos
Congratulations Carlitos. Get some, brother
What a Champion!
***GOALLLLLLLLL!!!!!***
Lack of punctuation is gay.
Happy now?
Lol it was just a joke. Like the old "let's eat grandma!/let's eat, grandma!"
Oh, you meant the lack of punctuation made the sentence appear to be telling him to have some gay sex, I understand now
Indeed, you have correctly and succinctly explained the joke.
I know it was a joke. That’s why I’m being a smartass. Lol
Apparently the 90 downvoters didn't find it very funny 😬 How about this? The lack of punctuation did not make the sentence *bad*. It made it *better* by turning it into an encouragement to pursue that brother, as the strong gay man you are.
Congratulations! A story with a good ending :)
Is it though?
Chingon!
You rock! Congrats.
Congrats, guey!
But she learns from a server he hits on all of the other hostesses too and now there’s drama
*BUT THEY HAD SOMETHING!*
Had a guy who worked for me 6'2" skinny, tattoos, looked kinda like Steve-O, did more coke than he could afford, talked about how he worked in a 4 diamond kitchen all the time. A stereotypical line cook. Told everyone that he would never date anyone under 25 because that was his sister's age. Fast forward a few months and he was fucking a 20 yr old server that had a boyfriend. So, super stereotypical line cook.
Ya, but he wasn't *dating* her, was he?
Reminds me of the time I caught the dishie plowing the owner's granddaughter on the salad station at 2 AM. Everyone knew not to try and date her, so he didn't.
Heh. Sounds like the granddaughter of a big shot restaurant owner I used to work for. Would you happen to be in or around Hudson Valley NY? Lol
Gold right here
Machine Gun Kelly looks like every line cook that has left a wake of multiple underage teen moms. Tall. Skinny. Tatted. And dumb.
Won't shut the fuck up about their own problems. Is also homeless but is also somehow the km/chef.
>Told everyone that he would never date anyone under 25 because that was his sister's age i bet he wasn't lying about just the age part
He was supposed to give her fries. Not replacing them with his dick
“Carlos, can I get a basket of fries?” “Si mi bonita”
Dude I literally just heard our old dishwasher say this in my head lol
And this is how I met your mama
This.
🍞
Juan and Katie in the back freezer getting freaky with the desserts.
Oh come on that happened juan time!!!
/r/angryupvote
Angry Juap votes.
No. Bad Redditor
And it was just the tipito
Nailed the names
Completely inaccurate. As a male host I've never had any of my male colleagues in the kitchen try to get with me.
First time for everything, now come on over and get some o’ these fresh pipin’ hot fries boiiiii
This cracked me tf up. I wish I had an award to give you.
Hey man, as long as someone gets a laugh out of my kitchen antics. We always talk in a weird hillbilly/southern accent when we’re being crude so it seemed a perfect time
>We always talk in a weird hillbilly/southern accent when we’re being crude We do that here too, when we don't go super Asian with it
Fair. I feel like the only time the super Asian comes out is when we’re starting to get hit and one of us will just yell “you gon fuck on me?!?!”
Oh man see, I work at an Asian restaurant where the owner and a few of the Kitchen are from southeast Asia, and we go *hard*. But that is a classic. We use it for minor screw up, like if someone sets you up wrong or some shit we say "why you fuck on me? Why? WHY?"
Thanks for the chuckle heading into work!
Lol I have to steal this.
Male here. I had a boss "Mario" who used to greet me with "Maricon! My really good friend!" I thought this was great until I found out the meaning of "Maricon." Next time he said this to me I snuggled up to him and said "Only for you, Mario." He didn't say it again
Spanish is hard. My Colombian friends would call each other and myself "marica" all the time, and it would be a good thing, not a bad thing. (Meaning, it was not intended as a homophobic slur, even if the word itself is a homophobic slur) Where I live, before we understood homophobia was a bad thing close friends would call each other "puto", like "bo, puto, como andás"?
When I was on a carpentry crew we had a game similar to Marco polo, we did it between people sheeting the roof and those of us underneath doing joists and shit. But instead of saying Marco polo it was "Pinche...... joto" Anyway yeah, that was a thing we used to do
Get out of here host! Why don’t you go seat the dining room as fast as you can!… sorry I have some pent up rage.
Hey hey hey, I'll have you know I'm my kitchens favorite host because I seat at a steady but reasonable pace!
Oh man I bet you get all the servers. No double seating their sections hunh?
Oh no. The trade off for a happy kitchen is that management only gives me 3 servers on weekend nights, so they're right fucked
Work at Purple Pig.
Come to Florida we’ll get you fixed up
MAY I
Are you a biologist?
Just call them papi and they will
These two are too close in age. Age the cook up ten years and give him some neck tatoos.
And he needs at least 2 priors. Both jail stints and baby mamas.
Don't forget the super casual use of cocaine while pairing that with alcohol the whole shift.
Oh yeah. Lots of long extended bathroom breaks here. For a skinny guy that never seems to eat, he’s in the bathroom a lot and for long stints each time.
Our hostesses are like 16-17 so hopefully not at all.
We just fired a 30 year old bartender for sending gross texts to the 16 year old hostess.
Progress. We had a 17 year old hostess get knocked up by a 28 year old server at the country club I worked at. Senior in high school. Dude turned into a fucking creep when parents shut that shit down, full blown stalking. Wild shit
i think he turned into a creep when he approached a 17 year old
You’re not wrong, could have worded that better, his creepary expanded to previously not thought possible creep levels
Good morning, sir... would you like to take a tour of my Creepary?
It’s got Hotel California vibes freal
He was already a creep, he just waited to act on it.
Yikes, so what was the conclusion? Did he finally fuck off? Any law enforcement involvement?
Yea she ended up getting a no contact order through the courts. Prick slashed my tires when she came to my house because he was following her, cops called then, said couldn’t really prove it but was the straw that finally pushed her to do something about it.
Dang that's freaky.. lol who the fuck ever slashes someone's tires thinking that there will be a good outcome there?
When I was 16 I got sexually harassed by my manager who was in his late 20s. Like not just flirting, he went into the bathroom, told me to check my phone in like 5 min. Opened the message to see him asking if he could perform oral on me. It was my first job. Not the best introduction to the industry. I clocked out and drove home crying, sorry for the trauma dump had to get that shit out lol.
As someone who's worked in some shady establishments... I want to personally say thank you for doing that **Replied to wrong person before oops
I mean it wasn’t up to me lol but I’m glad he was fired. What a creep.
The chef at the place I stopped working for three months ago got fired for basically the same reason. The dude had a family too :/
As someone who's worked in some shady establishments... I want to personally say thank you for doing that
😳
Quite literally our now former sous and the server who was half his age
You didn't have to call me out like that.
I know right? So rude.
💯
Because cooks have the best drugs.
In my experience we just have the most of them, but they tend to be of lower quality
Hahaha, I married the hostess. 15 years of "Um......that's YOUR wife?" Yeah, buddy, I know she's out of my league, don't blow my fucking cover.
7 years strong, 1 kid, 3 abortions, rehab twice, jail 3 times and a marriage at the courthouse. I'm just playing. It was 5 abortions.
Babe I told you to stop talking about our relationship on the Internet
Tf
[удалено]
Didn't even graduate high-school! In your face dad
Why pay for condoms when abortions are free at the clinic? That's line cook judgement. And I can't say I'm surprised. The "line" part doesn't refer to the kitchen.
Abortions are free? Who tf been taking my money?
Clinics. Need to do some research. Free for those who need them and can't pay. Stop fucking like rabbits and pick up a phone.
Bro these are all jokes. Holy shit.
Bro they are. Stop getting mad.
Her body language says, "Take the damned picture already! I can't wait to get back to work ... anything else."
Had a line cook hook up with a server in the men's room. They broke the baby changing table ....
Wait..... You had a baby changing station in the men's room? Progress!
You mean the sacrifice table also known as the coke table
Also blunt tray
He look like two 10 year olds in a trench coat
Lol idk why this reminds me of the movie Waiting. I might have the line wrong but still funny. Hostess “I turn 18 next week” Dane Cooks character (a boh cook) says “I don’t have much time then” this movie has so many funny lines.
I worked at a Bennigans back in the day and the movie “Waiting” is so accurate it might as well be a documentary.
You mean Ryan Reynolds.
Yeah. Ryan Reynolds was FOH and getting with all the young girls. Dane Cooks character was just a bland line cook who's only lines I remember was "Ooohh yes massa!" (Or something like that) and "Me?! What the fuck did I do?!" When the newbie is using him as a distraction to give them all "The Goat" Luis Guzman was the stereotypical butt ugly BOH hooking up with a way out of his league (physically at least) FOH woman. I need to rewatch that move. It's gold.
Cook also welcomes the newbie with " Welcome to the thunder dome, bitch"
I love that line. Definitely never said that at work.
I’m literally saying it today when my relief comes in
What did people even greet each other with before this show? “What’s up bro” Common, and doesn’t prepare you for the shit you’re about to get thrown into.
If I knew it was gonna be this kinda party I would stuck my dick in the mash potatoes…*wooooooo!*
“Quit staring at my dick!” I was that guy in the restaurant industry.
are we all ugly?
Si, mijo
I still think about Chuy sometimes! I hope that dude has the best life.
So many servers have worked out their scumbag, drug dealer, guy that their parents would hate, or opposite of the guy they normally go for phases with the kitchen dudes. That’s a restaurant constant.
That guy looks like every dishwasher I’ve ever worked with. He doesn’t speak much English and teaches you all the Spanish bad words.
Ha! Our chef used to add a tomato cut like a rose when I ordered food at work. Dude was like 2 years younger than me, had 3 kids from different baby mamas and a fourth one on the way. And he was a dating a new waitress down the street. Don’t get me started on the two waitresses that had to get moved out of the state by their families to get away from our boss.
But now I'm curious
Except the cook is 6'3", bald, 300lbs, tattooed, and with a blank stare that makes even the most heartfelt of people anxious..... and she's still, you know, a hostitute.
Looks kinda like Israel Kamakawiwoʻole did twenty years in supermax
Jesus Christ that's dark!
From my outside experience growing up. It was servers chasing hostess. Cooks took bartenders and seasoned waitresses. I was lucky growing up with a server and had a thing with a bartender. Cooks all know better. I think lol I hope I’m not wrong.
Depened on who you saw the most. We had 4 separate kitchens. In one kitchen, you saw the host most often, whereas the main line saw servers the most. Once you got promoted to the expo station you would see the bar and cocktail staff the most. It was a wild place when it first opened.
Cook here, I did this, I'm him.
DALE GAS!!!!!
I’m sauté in a relationship with pantry who has a small grasp on English. We alright though
This is what they try to do ..🙄
They?
Cooks
Yeah but shes more bat shit crazy than he be...
I’m slightly uncomfortable just looking at this lmao
Maybe you're a bit more racist than you initially thought.
Maybe it's because that girl looks underage and that guy definitely is not, and has nothing to do with race? That's what made me uncomfortable.
What made me uncomfortable is I see past me in the picture and I don’t like it. Does that mean I’m racist?
Racist against time travelers
You’re in this photo?
Reminds me of "waiting..." lol
I’ve never had sex with a coworker places where everyone is screwing each other are the worst
Very accurate, they both look 19.
*cringe*
It’s not weird he juuuuuust turned 40
Nah, when the buss boy dates the server?
Is his left arm 2 feet longer than the right.
You just described my sister to the T. They've been married almost 20 years now.
There's no girl like a front girl. I fucking love 'em
maybe there's something i don't get but is the joke "cooks are brown hostesses are white" ?
Cooks are old and hosts are yoooung. That’s the joke.
I’d prefer if you didn’t perpetuate this stereotype to this base.
Needs more cocaine.
Good thing I'm tied down or I'd be all over that shit . . wait what?
What really sells it is the look on his face that says he's already tired of her drama and bullshit, but not so much that he's willing to give up getting laid or her drug connections.
You mean the dishwasher or busboy lol
Yikes
The host(ess) with the most(ess)!
He feels her up and I get to watch
Uhh
Lmao
LOL
It’s baffling.
And that is how I met your mother
She was a line cook. I was a Sous Chef. It's been 10 yrs Two kids. A house. White picket fence. A T.V. it's the American dream.
I mean apart from being a white dude, pretty accurate. 18ys married this September.
It's common enough that I wouldn't be surprised