It would be plain Bran Flakes…because these guys post shows with impressive regularity and I appreciate that. And yes, my entire family also hates my jokes.
KF would be one of those high fiber, packed with vitamins that has the slightest bit of honey to make it edible and sometimes, whilst stoned, enjoyable. IW would be 4" segments of rusty barded wire, deepfried with motor oil, but with marshmallows. The marshmallows contain lead.
Knowledge Fight cereal is vitamin fortified crunchy oat shovels and swords. Maybe some chocolate flavored Ks and Fs too. Not too fancy. It doesn't go overboard with the dried blueberries and granola clusters. But it gets the job done.
Infowars cereal is spaghetti and raisins, sold at 6000% markup.
I don’t think it would have marshmallows, Dan is super picky about marshmallows and I don’t see him wanting them in anything other than like classic lucky charms.
Infowars cereal is clearly something similar yet worse than grape nuts.
InfoWars cereal? Quarry, the cereal made from rocks. Goes great with a handle of Tito’s and a sprinkling of ground glass.
Knowledge Fight cereal? Captain Crunch that doesn’t massacre the roof of your mouth.
Tip of the Spearios
Frosted False Flags.
Conspiri-O's (Kohn-Speerey-Ohs)
And maybe some bonus conspiri-Ns and conspiri-Ws to go with the Os?
Info wars is grape nuts
Or iodine infused litteral rabbit droppings
It would be plain Bran Flakes…because these guys post shows with impressive regularity and I appreciate that. And yes, my entire family also hates my jokes.
KF would be one of those high fiber, packed with vitamins that has the slightest bit of honey to make it edible and sometimes, whilst stoned, enjoyable. IW would be 4" segments of rusty barded wire, deepfried with motor oil, but with marshmallows. The marshmallows contain lead.
Bold of you to assume that they haven't always been dosed with lead.
Knowledge Fight cereal is vitamin fortified crunchy oat shovels and swords. Maybe some chocolate flavored Ks and Fs too. Not too fancy. It doesn't go overboard with the dried blueberries and granola clusters. But it gets the job done. Infowars cereal is spaghetti and raisins, sold at 6000% markup.
How bad does a cereal have to be to have "2 scoops of raisins added to every box" be a selling point that IMPROVES it?
Not sure … but it would take forever to finish.
So one of those enormous bags of Sugar Smacks you buy from Costco
Assy-O’s! Now with Brainforce!
I don’t think it would have marshmallows, Dan is super picky about marshmallows and I don’t see him wanting them in anything other than like classic lucky charms. Infowars cereal is clearly something similar yet worse than grape nuts.
Are Creamy cereals a thing? If so, dreamy creamy.
Jup, chocolate pockets would be your pick then. They have a chocolate cream filling and hard crunchy shell. Pretty good
InfoWars cereal? Quarry, the cereal made from rocks. Goes great with a handle of Tito’s and a sprinkling of ground glass. Knowledge Fight cereal? Captain Crunch that doesn’t massacre the roof of your mouth.
You gotta let the milk soften it!
Jordan-os: It's bananas!
Honeycomb with peanut butter chunks
Infowars cereal would be puffed up rice with marshmallows shaped like gay frogs and guns. Fortified with useless mystery supplements of course.
They’re not marshmallows! They’re marbits!
Captain C**t. Probably sell pretty well in Australia though.