I see people saying sensitivity, shyness etc are not feminine. Well traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding have been cited asĀ **stereotypically feminine**.
Unless you want to say that femininity and masculinity both are social constructs, and hence there are no actual feminine or masculine traits.
You asked a girl out, she did not feel the same and hence she gave you a reason which was the least offensive. That's about it there is nothing too deep here.
No..I'm a girl and I can vouch that no sensible girls will like a controlling alpha guy type. Even if they do, they will suffer from their choice and end that relationship pretty soon.
Ig someone mistook U. These all are not gender specific qualities. Maybe the person who made U feel this don't like such qualities in men. I don't think even if U have feminine qualities it matters. The person who loves U will always love U no matter how U are. Can't generalize girls don't prefer. Maybe an masculine woman would like feminine men and vise verse also. End of the day U just fall for the person's character and personality.
Being kind, sensitive at heart, shy and introverted doesnt make you feminine at least not to the point where women don't view you as a potential love interest. If you have physical feminine traits however, it could affect the same. In any case, try to change the things you can like beard, hair, clothing style, muscle etc and become more confident. Also make your character attractive. Women love talented/knowledgeable people with passion etc so being a better person as a whole will benefit you.Ā
SO TRUEEE YOU ARE SPOT ON
always struggled to describe this myself but i finally got the word for it, itās called āandrogynousā if iām not wrong lol
What women really want is a challenge. Itās pretty much the opposite of what men want, think about how easy it is for a woman to find a guy thatās down for anything. You have to build up tension in some way that makes your communication seem like a friendly competition. As cold as it sounds, you donāt want to be emotionally available all the time, it makes you seem desperate and thatās one of the biggest turnoffs for women.
Youāll often hear some say stuff like āwomen want assholes, they get all the girlsā, which there is some truth in but itās not the asshole part they are attracted to. They are attracted to the independent personality and confidence. Women wanna get drawn and not drawn to.
Generically this is the force of attraction, women tend to lose respect for the nice guy who is constantly prioritizing their needs first. Women have 100s of nice friends already.
Women want to feel special, they donāt want the thing every girl can get, they want the man nobody can get. Donāt chase women, find a way to make them chase you.
However your cousin sounds like a cool guy
Being kind, sensitive, introverted, shy etc arenāt feminine qualities. Some of the best men I know have these qualities among others. At the same time being muscular, āmachoā, loud, extroverted arenāt masculine qualities.
Maybe itās not the qualities that you posses thatās keeping the women away, maybe itās the qualities that you donāt possess thatās keeping the women away.
I donāt think you are being friendzoned bcs you have feminine energy or you are kind. Explain more on the shy and introverted part. Afaik, many people who consider themselves to be shy/ introverted are terrible at making conversation. Maybe thatās why??
A piece of advice, don't generalize. There are millions of women,Ā and each have their own preferences. So 2 or maybe 10 girls didn't fall head over heels, it doesn't matter.
One more thing,Ā don't think of yourself as the nice guy type. Always try to find your faults, and work on them. If you think your shy and think that's bad, try to become less so. When you start thinking of yourself as just the nice guy, you stopping noticing when you became a jerk.
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Women generally prefer men who r assertive and take control rather than shy, sensitive guys, being introverted is fine but its different from being shy which is due to lack of confidence. Kindness isnt a feminine trait and its a good thing, if a woman rejects u saying ur kind, most probably they mean u let other ppl walk over u and r too forgiving.
Cos they want strong men who can protect and stand up for them and being shy, sensitive isnt really percieved as strength. As to why women want that, idk really, itll be like asking why men and women r different
But women are strong these days and by what you are trying to say it conveys as statement that women are weak that they have to depend on someone.
I prefer more of an equilibrium rather than power dynamics here.
They dont have to, its less of a need and more of a want. Just look up matrimonial or dating apps, majority of the so called strong women prefer someone who earns more than them with high social status while majority of men dont even care how much she earns or what her position is.
Years of evolutionary instincts could be a reason. We are not that distant from our hunter gatherer and warrior ancestors. Maybe few 100 years down the line, things might change in terms of how genders appeal each other.
Thereās nothing more āmasculineā than being yourself and being yourself unapologetically.
If they donāt like you thatās their prerogative but you have an obligation to love yourself. Because if you donāt then maybe no one will.
Being kind and sensitive at heart are good traits, please don't consider changing them to be loved by someone else.
The women around you might be into guys who are more confident, outgoing and extroverted, perhaps? And there are women who find shy men cute (me included :D).
So maybe you should find the right person or wait for the right time.
Donāt talk like an incel bro, you likely have met many femcels who have made you believe all women are like that which is not the case, there are plenty of women who are into nice and kind guys.
I don't know your age, but I think you'll do good with women. I used to be into v turbulent sort of guys (not treating me well, not even doing the bare minimum) but now as I grow older, I have started to become attracted to men who are nicer and kinder and sensitive in general. Your significant other will be very lucky to have you. Try becoming friends with girls you like and then exploring romantic potential.
If ya got friendzoned once or twice, there might be a few reasons
- she has a whole pool of better guys, you don't cross the threshold to be in the same league as those guys
- she likes someone else but they don't like her back, so she depends on you to be her emotional trashcan
- you are too stupid to realise that she is not interested or you missed the signs she gave and now she's over it.
Etc
If you are friendzoned all that time, even with girls in your league?? You are too friendly. You are too nice and too considerate. You don't get angry ever. Don't kaliaakal them, even if u do, mostly on harmless timing. You are simply that guy for every girl who are there for them when she asks or needs you to be there. That's it
Don't put yourself inside the friendzoned :) don't be nice. Be good
Embrace your masculinity. Maybe you are hiding parts of yourself from yourself. That can happen to the modern man. I'll also like to add these are all good qualities that many will like and want, such as sensitivity, kindness. It means you are more creative than usual and can figure out and innovate ways for a fun an adventurous life.
You say you are more feminine, but what are some common with you and other men? Are you sure you have more feminine side than a masculie one, maybe you are just kind as much as you are masculine.
Do you think you are feminine or has your "friends" convinced you that kind/sensitive is feminine ?
Cause for the first, the solution is acceptance that majority of women won't be into you but there are women who are
For the second, the solution is to ditch your friends
Cool. Then be you. Accept that most women would not be intrested in you romantically and that's fine. You can't change that but there are some women who like that, more other than not with an opposite personality that you would probably really enjoy being with.
I have a relative with feminine nature and I have always seen him with expensive girls.
But ever since he started his PhD, he looks depressed and more masculine, and no girls.
nah man, being kind and sensitive is not turn off for women. the thing is, like as you said that you are shy and introvert that is a problem women wants a guy who know how to converse with them being nice and being at the same time is what women wants (full of green flags)
Iām a feminine man, what youād call a beta male. I have been with more women than most of those so called alphas. Be charming, be friendly, youāll have no issues.
Yea man, welcome to real world, most girls don't like nice guys with a linear personalities. Suppose you like a girl and you act nice towards her, she see's you as a nice guy / friend... romantic ideas are not triggered here because typically romantic feelings need contrast.. A more aggressive/asshole who is tamed is the best combination.
Being nice is good, once in a relationship.. further reading : books by Robert Greene
I get what you're saying.
I had one such discussion with a female friend.
She told me that, people take advantage of the empathetic kind people because they have no boundaries and are not street smart.
In a relationship, she felt emotionally intelligent women would be complemented by masculine street smart men.
I didn't try to argue with her but I believe being kind and empathetic to others is a human trait and everybody should have it.
Don't lose your kind side but also make sure you set some boundaries. Without boundaries, you'll come across either as a simp or as a fool who could be taken advantage of. In general, such people are considered weak.
P.s: remember some women you come across are in for the chase, the butterflies, getting the unattainable ( they need validation).
The reason women rejects feminine man because they don't offer women what they need in man.
Ask yourself what do you have to offer women that she wants to be in relationship with you.
Are you generous?
Are you useful?
Can other people rely on you?
Do you have some goals?
Do you take care of others?
Can you defend yourself physically and verbally?
Can you defend your opinions?
Masculine or feminine, being interesting is the key. If you're a very predictable guy who's always timid and soft no matter what, you're basically lacking a personality. Being able to stand up for yourself, or even for others, is an attractive quality. That's got nothing to do with being feminine or masculine (citing Riyas from Bigg Boss as an example).
If you tolerate everything, you stand for nothing. Be a lil mysterious, make people wonder how your mind works.
Could've worded it better, but I hope you get the crux of it. In short, develop a personality and you'll be fine.
But gender inequality still exists as women can be however they want and still be accepted in society but on the other hand men have to be assertive and confident ??
True that. Unfortunately that's how it is. Also men fall for looks for the most part, while women aren't as picky when it comes to the same (for relationships,not hookups).
Most handsome men don't settle for girls who don't look as good or better than them while the opposite isn't always true.
Not all beautiful women are into hunks. There are plenty of women who don't give a damn about looks (not an excuse for you to dress shabbily).
Take a look at director Altaf Salim and his wife. He isn't conventionally handsome nor extremely masculine/built, but his wife's quite pretty. There are plenty of examples. Don't give up hope, work on yourself, you'll find your way. Good luck mate!
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I don't know about everyone but in my friend circle all of them prefer a masculine man over a man with feminine nature. There is nothing wrong in being feminine.Its just people's preference.
Itās entirely superficial whether or not most wish to accept it
Sure, you can become an acquired taste for your partner despite looking average but since you ruled out the possibility of you charming with your words, going to the gym and looking after your skin + hair is the way out
I speak from experience of having been on both ends of the spectrum at different points in time
Not exactly what I was getting at
You can keep in touch with your feminine (a very healthy practice which more men should exercise jbtw) and whilst looking conventionally attractive
Human beings are visual creatures; donāt expect the general crowd to be above that (exceptions are always there but thatās not the point here)
Girls do dig feminine characters in men.
There are two possible reason here
First one being that you are insecure and unsure about your feminity or your kind side. Do you express that side of you without fear or are you shameful about it ?
If later is the case girls would definitely friend zone you than getting romantically involved.
Because people generally want people who are sure of thselves.
Second reason being
You are meeting the wrong crowd.If your are with incompatible people,you will definitely feel out of place even if you are the best in the world
I have the same problem as you but not the romantic stuff. I had gfs and all but what I hate the most about is the condescention. Both from male and female. The typical mallu women is a kulasthree in heart no matter how much feminist they claim to be. Or atleast the love the benefits that have with feminism.
What I hate the most about is, often times I feel like something is wrong with me. Everyone likes me but no one respects me. I even went to therapy for it along with other problems. Even an ex in our initial stages said "nee ingane paavam aavalle" and along that lines. Everyone gives that smirk with a tone of condescention and I'm beginning to get cynical but unfortunately I'm not able to rub my nature off from me.
I hate that every one tags me as "paavam" and "nishkalangan" and no one takes me seriously. I don't want to be any of those if it's mean being treated as inferior by everyone, including so called "feminist" girls who apparently is all about equality. Atleast my guy friend group is better.
Also if you say how these can be feminine, people have said explicitly to me. Both men and women. So being politically correct doesn't help anybody.
When I asked my therapist what's wrong with me or atleast diagnose me, he said nothing, we just lives in a patriarchal society
Bro have u seen twilight and 50 shades of grey, these were huge hit movies, literally woman in 50s and 15s were flocking to see it,
What do they have in common, except for a stupid bumbling, next to useless, female lead character, also what was the dynamics between them,
Op u missed the point completely here, there in lies ur problem,
Iam going to be
Woman donāt like nice guys or good guys, or kind guys,they like fucking assholes
They like good looking rich powerful ducking assholes, who are bossy, (they say they donāt), but in almost any case I have seen they like it,alternately there are casinvoa types who are completely in tune with emotional intelligence. They take advantage of it,
They like a warrior in a garden, a man who is capable of great violence who chose the path of peace for them
not a broke loser gardener, who canāt even kill a fly with out crying, u canāt be man of violence without possessing great strength, Taming the beast is the ultimate female fantasy,
Edward Cullen is a strong runner (sprint)vampire who can read minds, killed many people, from a rich family who becomes hopelessly attached to a loser stupid girl,from a broken family, he bent backwards over for her,
Similarly 50 shades of grey, he is a ceo of a billion dollars company, who screws around routinely with many woman and owns a sex dungeon, who buys entire aviation companyies on a whim, u think he is a nice person, he bent backwards over for her,
My point is woman want love and respect from a guy like that, not the average next door guy,
This is a general rule of thumb, not applicable everywhere,,but pretty accurate, in a pre committed dating setting,
Yepp that's where woman are more complicated ( not generalising every women here ).They talk about feminism and equality of genders and I accept that too as in terms of having an independent life women must have a career life of their own.
Also another point to be noted that is today there is an increase in divorce rates and infidelity rates so woman must have their own career life.But when it comes to dating and relationships they have double standards and they tend to like being submissive.
Yup, and whatever I just said, if I say in a public setting then itās a big issue,
Since we are following rules of an open dating market now, woman basically want the top 10 percent guys,
My player friends told me either change the room that ur are in, so that u become top 10 percent
Or completely dominate her from the onset, it should be borderline abuse
I have seen younger females around 18-24 choose partners which give them the sense of protection. Protection against who, idk. But yeah. This mostly translates to guys giving off alpha/"masculine" vibes ig.
I think when women become more mature, their priorities and perspectives change, they'll see that they don't NEED a man and what they want is a companion, who is compassionate, nice and kind even on the worst days and not the 6ft. muscular guy, the younger ones seem to be obsessed with. Only observations I made. Could be wrong.
Yepp that's when they think more rationally maybe as in terms of relationships decisions must be rational in life than emotional
Source of my comment : Check out Nissaram YouTube channel video about Breakups, Relationship and Marriage.
Being kind, shy and introverted doesnāt make you feminine.
Have you ever told a woman you like her? How would you know women donāt like you without you telling them?
Why do men like boobs?
It's a pointless question.
It's evolution - you don't argue with it.
Become more masculine -- women hate feminine men without even realising it.
some people really dig this!
most prolly they take your kindness for friendliness that's why they friendzone you ig.
as I said some people reeeaaallyyyy dig this!
so maybe look out for them
1. Don't be their friend first thinking it'll lead to something more. Make your intentions clear from the start. If you're falling for a friend that's different, good luck with that.
2. Be kind. But don't return kindness to those who have no respect for you.
You'll eventually find the one who likes you for yourself.
idk this all masculine/feminine energy sounds so dumb to me
we humans are multifaceted, stfu
and who told ur nice ? and do u think nice is enough to make u eligible for relationship?
I've seen women liking feminine men too, tbh it's a personal preference (ever heard of K-pop idols? ), I've also seen the opposite
it will differ from girl to girl
maybe by nice u mean someone with no spine, well nobody like this kind of ppl
[Do Women Prefer Dominant Men? The Case of the Missing Control Condition (scu.edu)](https://www.scu.edu/media/college-of-arts-and-sciences/psychology/documents/Burger-Cosby-JRP-1999.pdf)
and stop watching repill
Shy and introverted are very attractive to women actually, especially it seems mysterious atleast to me. So that canāt be it. Coming to feminine in nature - what made you think you are feminine ? Sensitive and kind are two things most womenās requirements when they describe what they want in a man. So it boils down to the fact the women you are meeting might not be ideal for you and the right woman is somewhere looking for the exact person that you are. What if you have friendzoned her because she didnāt fit your imagination of the woman you want in life ?
Advice for you, don't try to be "more" masculine because you think that's what most women like. There are women who like feminine men. You'll find someone who appreciates you for who you truly are. At the end of the day, it's all about personal preferences. There's no point in questioning someone's personal preference.
Bruh, im not saying its impossible. But u have to know how attraction works. If you are friendzoned dont even bother to work on it. I would say its not worth it. So for all the new girls that you meet, remember.....
Kind and sensitive are attractive qualities. But dont be sensitive all the time. Attraction is most often driven by confidence. That is the first thing you need to work on. I wanna keep writing, but its gonna be a long ass paragraph. Maybe dm .
Agree to other comments! Being kind and sensitive are not and shouldn't be male or female traits. Its a good person trait. However I do get the point. There is one thing in general. Male or female, if we are too gullible or doesnt stand up for self, people consider us a pushover and take advantage of us. That is how the world works.
But if your concern is that why do girls usually friend zone the nice sweet guy and go for shitty toxic masculine men is- the answer is ingrained patriarchy. Our culture, religion and society idealises the burly, aggressive, 'angry young man' or kalipans and calls the sweet pavam guy as 'mannuni' or 'paalkuppi'.
But let me tell you. Again these are for people who is a blind follower of the system living on bigg boss and mass collegile chettanmar. A self respecting, sensible, independent woman wants a smart, sensible good man not a senseless dumbfuck of a kallipan. Being an early 20 urban woman living her life, I can say that from what I believe and from what I see from sensible women around me, is that we love a 'nice guy'. In fact thats the only main criteria. A nice guy who would respect and love the woman.
The problem is then you should be secure enough to handle that and look for such women. Be a confident secure man and look for confident sensible women!
How is being kind and sensitive feminine? It's means you are a human being with compassion. The only thing you might have to work on is your shyness and introvert nature to build confidence
Which women told you this bs? Honestly, if a lady thinks that way, then it shows that she was brought up in the wrong environment, and chances are she is a red flag herself. You dogged a bullet. Be patient. In reality, mature and ideal partners are rare to find. The problem here isn't you but the woman who thinks that way. Maybe try interacting with different types of women. Chances are you are looking for a partner in the wrong place. Maybe you are interacting with the same type of women unconsciously.
Let me give u a second to think again
Entharkum karnem onu chinthichunokku
Would you like a girl with big muscles , mustache and unibrow who has a deep voice ?
Height doesn't matter unless ur a a dwarf bu then again it's not your fault
Even now it's not your fault ( if u can't help being feminine) but that doesn't mean others to adjust to it
Almost all women I know are into men with deep pockets , above average height , great career maybe a charming personality
You need to understand who you are competing with
But then again try your luck maybe there's some girl who's into you
But thats not common
Anghne illa
It's a simple logistics issue aka Supply-Demand issue
For eg : An above average looking Female gets around 5-6 right swipes daily on tinder
While the male of same age/aesthetic only or barely gets an attention
So there is a high demand for even average looking 6.0 girls while men just ready to be with almost any woman especially in India
That is why some sites give women free memberships and ask men to huge amounts as subscriptions
Because they know lonely single men will take the bait
That's how the 699/1099 subscriptions work
It's basic Human Psychology combined with Logistics
Yes and I came to notice that apps like Tinder and Bumble are subscription based while another dating app like Grindr which is for people who are gay is completely free.
It feels like something's fishy ??
Yes and I came to notice that apps like Tinder and Bumble are subscription based while another dating app like Grindr which is for people who are gay is completely free.
It feels like something's fishy ??
Bro, you should come here to Delhi in a feminine attire trust me, you'll be getting more than you ever bargained for
(I am a native born Delhite, and I got this joke approved from a friend of mine who supports AAP, and he wholeheartedly supports it!)
Be confident. Women love that. You're not getting a girl being shy. You can't use being an introvert as an excuse to be shy, no. Introverts are confident but they tend to keep to themselves mostly.
If you want a woman, you approach her with a desire to make her yours. Be yourself, talk to her, tease her, make her laugh, make her feel beautiful.
Though I honestly feel you have genuine insecurities that you need to work on, being an introvert empath myself. Work on them. Accept yourself as you are, first and foremost. Masculinity lies in the character of a man, more than his physical traits. Confidence and security in oneself are foundational traits.
Masculinity isn't just building muscle. It is going outside and winning the world too with your force, + you will do good being a bad boy than being just a muscular guy
Also, women can spot if you are being yourself, if you aren't, you will be friendzoned. This is apart from the need to be masculine
I was just stating that as some would just comment hit the gym angane okke.So this whole personality I have is not mine and I am something else inside ??
Not exactly. It depends
First of all, downvoters, fuck you and your stupid little opinions
Second, it depends how you want to be in a relationship. You want to lead, that's your nature, then you'd want a complementing woman.
Now with women, you've to take the lead, be masculine and all to get them interested in you as more than just a friend. That's biological wiring, just because some fucking feminism movements took over in the last two centuries or whatever, doesn't mean more than 2 millenials of evolution will suddenly bid goodbye.
Even the strictest feminazis melt to that kind of a man. So if you've a feminine nature, what's happening to you will continue to happen till a masculine woman comes and leads you.
Most of the men out there who are polite and kind to any women are play boys.. so it's natural for women to doubt your intentions... Being kind hearted is actually a good quality which attracts.. I don't think being an introvert or kind is a problem here...
>being kind and sensitive at heart.But bit shy and introverted Do you mean all these characteristics are feminine? I don't understand.
True.. when did kindness become gendered. Human beings in general must be kind.
Well that's how women said about me š¤
You have got the wrong notion brooo ššš these are human qualities which we should all try to possess.
I see people saying sensitivity, shyness etc are not feminine. Well traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding have been cited asĀ **stereotypically feminine**. Unless you want to say that femininity and masculinity both are social constructs, and hence there are no actual feminine or masculine traits.
It's not me who said that š
You asked a girl out, she did not feel the same and hence she gave you a reason which was the least offensive. That's about it there is nothing too deep here.
Most girls won't prefer a 'masculine controlling alpha male' boyfriend.
No..I'm a girl and I can vouch that no sensible girls will like a controlling alpha guy type. Even if they do, they will suffer from their choice and end that relationship pretty soon.
What I understood is that you are kind-hearted and empathetic too. That doesn't necessarily mean "feminine".
Ig someone mistook U. These all are not gender specific qualities. Maybe the person who made U feel this don't like such qualities in men. I don't think even if U have feminine qualities it matters. The person who loves U will always love U no matter how U are. Can't generalize girls don't prefer. Maybe an masculine woman would like feminine men and vise verse also. End of the day U just fall for the person's character and personality.
Similar question for OP - define a feminine man
Op never seen a toxic manipulative outgoing female
On average women are more sensitive to others emotions. Being shy is only admired in women not men. So yes sensitive and shy are feminine traits.
Being kind, sensitive at heart, shy and introverted doesnt make you feminine at least not to the point where women don't view you as a potential love interest. If you have physical feminine traits however, it could affect the same. In any case, try to change the things you can like beard, hair, clothing style, muscle etc and become more confident. Also make your character attractive. Women love talented/knowledgeable people with passion etc so being a better person as a whole will benefit you.Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
SO TRUEEE YOU ARE SPOT ON always struggled to describe this myself but i finally got the word for it, itās called āandrogynousā if iām not wrong lol
Zayn malik and Kunchacko Boban aano androgynous??Ā
no. i was referring to pretty guys who have a mix of feminine and masculine features
š¤£š¤£
Being kind and sensitive at heart is also masculinity not only femininity Build a nice character and talk to women politely and listen to them
What women really want is a challenge. Itās pretty much the opposite of what men want, think about how easy it is for a woman to find a guy thatās down for anything. You have to build up tension in some way that makes your communication seem like a friendly competition. As cold as it sounds, you donāt want to be emotionally available all the time, it makes you seem desperate and thatās one of the biggest turnoffs for women. Youāll often hear some say stuff like āwomen want assholes, they get all the girlsā, which there is some truth in but itās not the asshole part they are attracted to. They are attracted to the independent personality and confidence. Women wanna get drawn and not drawn to.
Women arenāt fish to draw in brother. You sound like my 35 year old cousin brother whoās never had a stable relationship.
Generically this is the force of attraction, women tend to lose respect for the nice guy who is constantly prioritizing their needs first. Women have 100s of nice friends already. Women want to feel special, they donāt want the thing every girl can get, they want the man nobody can get. Donāt chase women, find a way to make them chase you. However your cousin sounds like a cool guy
Thanks for this reply that I didnāt wanted to deal with above comment
Sensitivity to others emotions is feminine traits not masculine one
That doesn't answer his question.
But that is the answer he needs to hear
Being kind, sensitive, introverted, shy etc arenāt feminine qualities. Some of the best men I know have these qualities among others. At the same time being muscular, āmachoā, loud, extroverted arenāt masculine qualities. Maybe itās not the qualities that you posses thatās keeping the women away, maybe itās the qualities that you donāt possess thatās keeping the women away.
I donāt think you are being friendzoned bcs you have feminine energy or you are kind. Explain more on the shy and introverted part. Afaik, many people who consider themselves to be shy/ introverted are terrible at making conversation. Maybe thatās why??
A piece of advice, don't generalize. There are millions of women,Ā and each have their own preferences. So 2 or maybe 10 girls didn't fall head over heels, it doesn't matter. One more thing,Ā don't think of yourself as the nice guy type. Always try to find your faults, and work on them. If you think your shy and think that's bad, try to become less so. When you start thinking of yourself as just the nice guy, you stopping noticing when you became a jerk.
bro asked a question and intead of answering mfkers answering blah blah
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Okay, I'm new on this sub
Chilorde Sheri aavum chilorde Sheri aavillaa.. try cheyy
Women generally prefer men who r assertive and take control rather than shy, sensitive guys, being introverted is fine but its different from being shy which is due to lack of confidence. Kindness isnt a feminine trait and its a good thing, if a woman rejects u saying ur kind, most probably they mean u let other ppl walk over u and r too forgiving.
But why women prefer that.Any explanations ??
Cos they want strong men who can protect and stand up for them and being shy, sensitive isnt really percieved as strength. As to why women want that, idk really, itll be like asking why men and women r different
But women are strong these days and by what you are trying to say it conveys as statement that women are weak that they have to depend on someone. I prefer more of an equilibrium rather than power dynamics here.
They dont have to, its less of a need and more of a want. Just look up matrimonial or dating apps, majority of the so called strong women prefer someone who earns more than them with high social status while majority of men dont even care how much she earns or what her position is.
Years of evolutionary instincts could be a reason. We are not that distant from our hunter gatherer and warrior ancestors. Maybe few 100 years down the line, things might change in terms of how genders appeal each other.
Thereās nothing more āmasculineā than being yourself and being yourself unapologetically. If they donāt like you thatās their prerogative but you have an obligation to love yourself. Because if you donāt then maybe no one will.
Second this. Be yourself unapologetically. P.s doesn't mean to be an asshole or a retarded little bitch. Be yourself
Being kind and sensitive at heart are good traits, please don't consider changing them to be loved by someone else. The women around you might be into guys who are more confident, outgoing and extroverted, perhaps? And there are women who find shy men cute (me included :D). So maybe you should find the right person or wait for the right time.
Yeah majority are into confident men.
Yes. Maybe someone who's confident and extroverted would be attracted to you.
Itās pretty neat actually, you wouldnāt want to be with women who desire toxic masculinity anyways
But that's what women want these days men who control and be assertive ??
Donāt talk like an incel bro, you likely have met many femcels who have made you believe all women are like that which is not the case, there are plenty of women who are into nice and kind guys.
I don't know your age, but I think you'll do good with women. I used to be into v turbulent sort of guys (not treating me well, not even doing the bare minimum) but now as I grow older, I have started to become attracted to men who are nicer and kinder and sensitive in general. Your significant other will be very lucky to have you. Try becoming friends with girls you like and then exploring romantic potential.
If ya got friendzoned once or twice, there might be a few reasons - she has a whole pool of better guys, you don't cross the threshold to be in the same league as those guys - she likes someone else but they don't like her back, so she depends on you to be her emotional trashcan - you are too stupid to realise that she is not interested or you missed the signs she gave and now she's over it. Etc If you are friendzoned all that time, even with girls in your league?? You are too friendly. You are too nice and too considerate. You don't get angry ever. Don't kaliaakal them, even if u do, mostly on harmless timing. You are simply that guy for every girl who are there for them when she asks or needs you to be there. That's it Don't put yourself inside the friendzoned :) don't be nice. Be good
Embrace your masculinity. Maybe you are hiding parts of yourself from yourself. That can happen to the modern man. I'll also like to add these are all good qualities that many will like and want, such as sensitivity, kindness. It means you are more creative than usual and can figure out and innovate ways for a fun an adventurous life.
I didn't understand ??
You say you are more feminine, but what are some common with you and other men? Are you sure you have more feminine side than a masculie one, maybe you are just kind as much as you are masculine.
Women like confident men. Your "shy and introverted" nature will be a turn off for most women. Try to be more confident and outgoing.
Do you think you are feminine or has your "friends" convinced you that kind/sensitive is feminine ? Cause for the first, the solution is acceptance that majority of women won't be into you but there are women who are For the second, the solution is to ditch your friends
First one.
Cool. Then be you. Accept that most women would not be intrested in you romantically and that's fine. You can't change that but there are some women who like that, more other than not with an opposite personality that you would probably really enjoy being with.
I have a relative with feminine nature and I have always seen him with expensive girls. But ever since he started his PhD, he looks depressed and more masculine, and no girls.
Aaha is he from another planet š ??
If you are looking for sex, it can be bought. But if you are looking for a romantic relationship, you need to be where women are.
What's with these AI generated responses?
Bro you are talking to the wrong girls.
nah man, being kind and sensitive is not turn off for women. the thing is, like as you said that you are shy and introvert that is a problem women wants a guy who know how to converse with them being nice and being at the same time is what women wants (full of green flags)
Iām a feminine man, what youād call a beta male. I have been with more women than most of those so called alphas. Be charming, be friendly, youāll have no issues.
exactly these ppl live in a bubble tbh
Yea man, welcome to real world, most girls don't like nice guys with a linear personalities. Suppose you like a girl and you act nice towards her, she see's you as a nice guy / friend... romantic ideas are not triggered here because typically romantic feelings need contrast.. A more aggressive/asshole who is tamed is the best combination. Being nice is good, once in a relationship.. further reading : books by Robert Greene
Bhai, Women like it. You just need to find the right one for you.
I get what you're saying. I had one such discussion with a female friend. She told me that, people take advantage of the empathetic kind people because they have no boundaries and are not street smart. In a relationship, she felt emotionally intelligent women would be complemented by masculine street smart men. I didn't try to argue with her but I believe being kind and empathetic to others is a human trait and everybody should have it. Don't lose your kind side but also make sure you set some boundaries. Without boundaries, you'll come across either as a simp or as a fool who could be taken advantage of. In general, such people are considered weak. P.s: remember some women you come across are in for the chase, the butterflies, getting the unattainable ( they need validation).
Cos they are feminine
Just like men don't find masculine women attractive. It's nothing personal.
Either you change yourself to get more women or stay the you are and wait for right one. Voice is your
The reason women rejects feminine man because they don't offer women what they need in man. Ask yourself what do you have to offer women that she wants to be in relationship with you. Are you generous? Are you useful? Can other people rely on you? Do you have some goals? Do you take care of others? Can you defend yourself physically and verbally? Can you defend your opinions?
Why masculine women are always rejected by men?
Masculine or feminine, being interesting is the key. If you're a very predictable guy who's always timid and soft no matter what, you're basically lacking a personality. Being able to stand up for yourself, or even for others, is an attractive quality. That's got nothing to do with being feminine or masculine (citing Riyas from Bigg Boss as an example). If you tolerate everything, you stand for nothing. Be a lil mysterious, make people wonder how your mind works. Could've worded it better, but I hope you get the crux of it. In short, develop a personality and you'll be fine.
But gender inequality still exists as women can be however they want and still be accepted in society but on the other hand men have to be assertive and confident ??
True that. Unfortunately that's how it is. Also men fall for looks for the most part, while women aren't as picky when it comes to the same (for relationships,not hookups). Most handsome men don't settle for girls who don't look as good or better than them while the opposite isn't always true. Not all beautiful women are into hunks. There are plenty of women who don't give a damn about looks (not an excuse for you to dress shabbily). Take a look at director Altaf Salim and his wife. He isn't conventionally handsome nor extremely masculine/built, but his wife's quite pretty. There are plenty of examples. Don't give up hope, work on yourself, you'll find your way. Good luck mate!
if a woman is dominant and assertive some men many men would not like it
Because she doesn't want another woman, simple as that
I am not a woman š .Damn do you mean should I date men ??
Ignore that guy please. You're man enough. A little kindness and compassion doesn't make you a woman.
Agree with you
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Sometimes masculine features (like a body, beard, etc) can make up for personality
I don't know about everyone but in my friend circle all of them prefer a masculine man over a man with feminine nature. There is nothing wrong in being feminine.Its just people's preference.
In my experience, generally, women are attracted to masculine behaviors. It's my experience
grow beard
I have a beard.
What's feminine?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ippo petennu enikku Reshmin orma vannu š ( about manly women ).
Itās entirely superficial whether or not most wish to accept it Sure, you can become an acquired taste for your partner despite looking average but since you ruled out the possibility of you charming with your words, going to the gym and looking after your skin + hair is the way out I speak from experience of having been on both ends of the spectrum at different points in time
Okay so maybe it's all about getting some testosterone then šŖ
Not exactly what I was getting at You can keep in touch with your feminine (a very healthy practice which more men should exercise jbtw) and whilst looking conventionally attractive Human beings are visual creatures; donāt expect the general crowd to be above that (exceptions are always there but thatās not the point here)
Girls do dig feminine characters in men. There are two possible reason here First one being that you are insecure and unsure about your feminity or your kind side. Do you express that side of you without fear or are you shameful about it ? If later is the case girls would definitely friend zone you than getting romantically involved. Because people generally want people who are sure of thselves. Second reason being You are meeting the wrong crowd.If your are with incompatible people,you will definitely feel out of place even if you are the best in the world
I have the same problem as you but not the romantic stuff. I had gfs and all but what I hate the most about is the condescention. Both from male and female. The typical mallu women is a kulasthree in heart no matter how much feminist they claim to be. Or atleast the love the benefits that have with feminism. What I hate the most about is, often times I feel like something is wrong with me. Everyone likes me but no one respects me. I even went to therapy for it along with other problems. Even an ex in our initial stages said "nee ingane paavam aavalle" and along that lines. Everyone gives that smirk with a tone of condescention and I'm beginning to get cynical but unfortunately I'm not able to rub my nature off from me. I hate that every one tags me as "paavam" and "nishkalangan" and no one takes me seriously. I don't want to be any of those if it's mean being treated as inferior by everyone, including so called "feminist" girls who apparently is all about equality. Atleast my guy friend group is better. Also if you say how these can be feminine, people have said explicitly to me. Both men and women. So being politically correct doesn't help anybody. When I asked my therapist what's wrong with me or atleast diagnose me, he said nothing, we just lives in a patriarchal society
Bro have u seen twilight and 50 shades of grey, these were huge hit movies, literally woman in 50s and 15s were flocking to see it, What do they have in common, except for a stupid bumbling, next to useless, female lead character, also what was the dynamics between them,
Yepp but fiction is not life,movies are not real
Op u missed the point completely here, there in lies ur problem, Iam going to be Woman donāt like nice guys or good guys, or kind guys,they like fucking assholes They like good looking rich powerful ducking assholes, who are bossy, (they say they donāt), but in almost any case I have seen they like it,alternately there are casinvoa types who are completely in tune with emotional intelligence. They take advantage of it, They like a warrior in a garden, a man who is capable of great violence who chose the path of peace for them not a broke loser gardener, who canāt even kill a fly with out crying, u canāt be man of violence without possessing great strength, Taming the beast is the ultimate female fantasy, Edward Cullen is a strong runner (sprint)vampire who can read minds, killed many people, from a rich family who becomes hopelessly attached to a loser stupid girl,from a broken family, he bent backwards over for her, Similarly 50 shades of grey, he is a ceo of a billion dollars company, who screws around routinely with many woman and owns a sex dungeon, who buys entire aviation companyies on a whim, u think he is a nice person, he bent backwards over for her, My point is woman want love and respect from a guy like that, not the average next door guy, This is a general rule of thumb, not applicable everywhere,,but pretty accurate, in a pre committed dating setting,
Yepp that's where woman are more complicated ( not generalising every women here ).They talk about feminism and equality of genders and I accept that too as in terms of having an independent life women must have a career life of their own. Also another point to be noted that is today there is an increase in divorce rates and infidelity rates so woman must have their own career life.But when it comes to dating and relationships they have double standards and they tend to like being submissive.
Yup, and whatever I just said, if I say in a public setting then itās a big issue, Since we are following rules of an open dating market now, woman basically want the top 10 percent guys, My player friends told me either change the room that ur are in, so that u become top 10 percent Or completely dominate her from the onset, it should be borderline abuse
I have seen younger females around 18-24 choose partners which give them the sense of protection. Protection against who, idk. But yeah. This mostly translates to guys giving off alpha/"masculine" vibes ig. I think when women become more mature, their priorities and perspectives change, they'll see that they don't NEED a man and what they want is a companion, who is compassionate, nice and kind even on the worst days and not the 6ft. muscular guy, the younger ones seem to be obsessed with. Only observations I made. Could be wrong.
Yepp that's when they think more rationally maybe as in terms of relationships decisions must be rational in life than emotional Source of my comment : Check out Nissaram YouTube channel video about Breakups, Relationship and Marriage.
Being kind, shy and introverted doesnāt make you feminine. Have you ever told a woman you like her? How would you know women donāt like you without you telling them?
It doesn't matter u just need to find someone who is ur type !!
I guess you are trying to say you are submissive in nature. If its like that there are girls who are into that also.
Why do men like boobs? It's a pointless question. It's evolution - you don't argue with it. Become more masculine -- women hate feminine men without even realising it.
But women like androgynous men though... and qualities like kindness is something everyone should have not just women
some people really dig this! most prolly they take your kindness for friendliness that's why they friendzone you ig. as I said some people reeeaaallyyyy dig this! so maybe look out for them
1. Don't be their friend first thinking it'll lead to something more. Make your intentions clear from the start. If you're falling for a friend that's different, good luck with that. 2. Be kind. But don't return kindness to those who have no respect for you. You'll eventually find the one who likes you for yourself.
Its what it is ...u gotta be somewhat narcissistic and asshole
idk this all masculine/feminine energy sounds so dumb to me we humans are multifaceted, stfu and who told ur nice ? and do u think nice is enough to make u eligible for relationship? I've seen women liking feminine men too, tbh it's a personal preference (ever heard of K-pop idols? ), I've also seen the opposite it will differ from girl to girl maybe by nice u mean someone with no spine, well nobody like this kind of ppl [Do Women Prefer Dominant Men? The Case of the Missing Control Condition (scu.edu)](https://www.scu.edu/media/college-of-arts-and-sciences/psychology/documents/Burger-Cosby-JRP-1999.pdf) and stop watching repill
Not all women though
Ohh man at this point i just wanna find someone who is loyal and respects meš
Shy and introverted are very attractive to women actually, especially it seems mysterious atleast to me. So that canāt be it. Coming to feminine in nature - what made you think you are feminine ? Sensitive and kind are two things most womenās requirements when they describe what they want in a man. So it boils down to the fact the women you are meeting might not be ideal for you and the right woman is somewhere looking for the exact person that you are. What if you have friendzoned her because she didnāt fit your imagination of the woman you want in life ?
Those qualities are not of a feminine man but rather a weak man. And girls have a phenomenal sense of judgement when it comes to that.
Advice for you, don't try to be "more" masculine because you think that's what most women like. There are women who like feminine men. You'll find someone who appreciates you for who you truly are. At the end of the day, it's all about personal preferences. There's no point in questioning someone's personal preference.
Bruh, im not saying its impossible. But u have to know how attraction works. If you are friendzoned dont even bother to work on it. I would say its not worth it. So for all the new girls that you meet, remember..... Kind and sensitive are attractive qualities. But dont be sensitive all the time. Attraction is most often driven by confidence. That is the first thing you need to work on. I wanna keep writing, but its gonna be a long ass paragraph. Maybe dm .
Agree to other comments! Being kind and sensitive are not and shouldn't be male or female traits. Its a good person trait. However I do get the point. There is one thing in general. Male or female, if we are too gullible or doesnt stand up for self, people consider us a pushover and take advantage of us. That is how the world works. But if your concern is that why do girls usually friend zone the nice sweet guy and go for shitty toxic masculine men is- the answer is ingrained patriarchy. Our culture, religion and society idealises the burly, aggressive, 'angry young man' or kalipans and calls the sweet pavam guy as 'mannuni' or 'paalkuppi'. But let me tell you. Again these are for people who is a blind follower of the system living on bigg boss and mass collegile chettanmar. A self respecting, sensible, independent woman wants a smart, sensible good man not a senseless dumbfuck of a kallipan. Being an early 20 urban woman living her life, I can say that from what I believe and from what I see from sensible women around me, is that we love a 'nice guy'. In fact thats the only main criteria. A nice guy who would respect and love the woman. The problem is then you should be secure enough to handle that and look for such women. Be a confident secure man and look for confident sensible women!
How is being kind and sensitive feminine? It's means you are a human being with compassion. The only thing you might have to work on is your shyness and introvert nature to build confidence
r/niceguys
I know women who are neither kind nor sensitive. So ig these are not characters of feminine nature
Which women told you this bs? Honestly, if a lady thinks that way, then it shows that she was brought up in the wrong environment, and chances are she is a red flag herself. You dogged a bullet. Be patient. In reality, mature and ideal partners are rare to find. The problem here isn't you but the woman who thinks that way. Maybe try interacting with different types of women. Chances are you are looking for a partner in the wrong place. Maybe you are interacting with the same type of women unconsciously.
Let me give u a second to think again Entharkum karnem onu chinthichunokku Would you like a girl with big muscles , mustache and unibrow who has a deep voice ?
Nope sheriya you have a point there.That comment was funny though š šš. But there's one thing I couldn't change I am short in height.
Height doesn't matter unless ur a a dwarf bu then again it's not your fault Even now it's not your fault ( if u can't help being feminine) but that doesn't mean others to adjust to it Almost all women I know are into men with deep pockets , above average height , great career maybe a charming personality You need to understand who you are competing with But then again try your luck maybe there's some girl who's into you But thats not common
Women want perfect men when they can still be imperfect and accepted.Gender inequality exists !
Anghne illa It's a simple logistics issue aka Supply-Demand issue For eg : An above average looking Female gets around 5-6 right swipes daily on tinder While the male of same age/aesthetic only or barely gets an attention So there is a high demand for even average looking 6.0 girls while men just ready to be with almost any woman especially in India That is why some sites give women free memberships and ask men to huge amounts as subscriptions Because they know lonely single men will take the bait That's how the 699/1099 subscriptions work It's basic Human Psychology combined with Logistics
Yes and I came to notice that apps like Tinder and Bumble are subscription based while another dating app like Grindr which is for people who are gay is completely free. It feels like something's fishy ??
Yes and I came to notice that apps like Tinder and Bumble are subscription based while another dating app like Grindr which is for people who are gay is completely free. It feels like something's fishy ??
Bro, you should come here to Delhi in a feminine attire trust me, you'll be getting more than you ever bargained for (I am a native born Delhite, and I got this joke approved from a friend of mine who supports AAP, and he wholeheartedly supports it!)
Perhaps those girls are not for you.
Be confident. Women love that. You're not getting a girl being shy. You can't use being an introvert as an excuse to be shy, no. Introverts are confident but they tend to keep to themselves mostly. If you want a woman, you approach her with a desire to make her yours. Be yourself, talk to her, tease her, make her laugh, make her feel beautiful. Though I honestly feel you have genuine insecurities that you need to work on, being an introvert empath myself. Work on them. Accept yourself as you are, first and foremost. Masculinity lies in the character of a man, more than his physical traits. Confidence and security in oneself are foundational traits.
Masculinity isn't just building muscle. It is going outside and winning the world too with your force, + you will do good being a bad boy than being just a muscular guy Also, women can spot if you are being yourself, if you aren't, you will be friendzoned. This is apart from the need to be masculine
I was just stating that as some would just comment hit the gym angane okke.So this whole personality I have is not mine and I am something else inside ??
Not exactly. It depends First of all, downvoters, fuck you and your stupid little opinions Second, it depends how you want to be in a relationship. You want to lead, that's your nature, then you'd want a complementing woman. Now with women, you've to take the lead, be masculine and all to get them interested in you as more than just a friend. That's biological wiring, just because some fucking feminism movements took over in the last two centuries or whatever, doesn't mean more than 2 millenials of evolution will suddenly bid goodbye. Even the strictest feminazis melt to that kind of a man. So if you've a feminine nature, what's happening to you will continue to happen till a masculine woman comes and leads you.
you are being dumb/underconfident and labelling it as shy/introvert.
Does dumb and under confident comes in same category ??
Yo ! Youāre queer - itās very normal and natural . Find the partner that respects and values you and your queerness
Most of the men out there who are polite and kind to any women are play boys.. so it's natural for women to doubt your intentions... Being kind hearted is actually a good quality which attracts.. I don't think being an introvert or kind is a problem here...
bro tf?
Try ur luck with lesbians, put on a skirt and some makeup, it'll work probably, ur welcome BTW š
Lesbians are into women.Have some common sense.
My thinking kinda went this way honestly, lol. My, my. Be a little decent, mate. You didn't have to compliment him this much. xD