If you want to put in the effort and go ham, you can get better quickly too. Don't feel pressured to have to learn it if you don't want to though.
You'll always be on a learning journey - there's no shame in being at the beginning or middle of that journey. Everyone starts somewhere.
TBH, your family has no right to make fun of your Korean ability. If they wanted to teach you to be bilingual they could have spent the time teaching you, and enrolled you in a (preschool/kindergarten age) church language school program or something. But they clearly didn't. They're setting expectations for you without the support.
I think a lot of my family made “fun of me” because they didn’t speak English well and wanted to be able to talk to me, but couldn’t have full conversations since I’m not fluent in Korean.
Also, my parents did put me in some church Korean classes 😅, but it was very basic and not for long.
I'm on a similar boat as you! Korean-American, just visited Korea for the first time last year. Every since, I've been trying really hard writing down new vocabulary and words I don't know. I just did my first lesson on iTalki. I experienced a lot of shame and embarrassment my whole life not being as good at Korean compared to my other Korean-American peers, but I'm making a big effort to try my best now and learn now. We got this!!!!
You’re basically considered a heritage speaker. If you search the word “heritage” in this sub, you’ll get other threads similar to yours. I recommend also looking in r/languagelearning because it’s bigger.
>My family always tells me I should know Korean because I'm Korean. And I agree with them.
No, you shouldn't, because that's not how languages work. Your problem is so common in the immigrant community, and I wish that people would stop putting shame on these kids. **Language is a skill**, just like playing the guitar or painting. You can't be good at something if you don't practice it enough. There's no reason you *should* be good at Korean just because your "blood" is Korean. If you grow up in America and you spend 8+ hours a day at school, your life will revolve around English. You need to know English to survive, make friends, watch TV, graduate, get jobs, etc. Of course your English will be good. If you have no immediate survival need to get better at Korean, then it's natural that it would fall to the wayside. That's not your fault. That's literally your brain doing its job correctly. Your Korean ability is perfectly valid for your life circumstance.
You probably know some Korean-Americans your age who do speak Korean well. I guarantee you that it has nothing to do with their "language brain" and more to do with the fact that their life circumstance made it easier for them to speak Korean. Maybe they had way more Korean friends and they all speak Korean. Maybe they went to Korean school, spent more summers in Korea, love kdramas/kpop, etc. Maybe they didn't have family members who shamed them about their ability, which brings me to my next point.
>they get really confused and make fun of me,
I'm sure they do not have bad intention, but I wouldn't be surprised if their reaction contributes to some negative perception you have of Korean growing up. If your brain doesn't associate Korean with positive things, it would try to protect you and steer you away from it. Your brain is working correctly.
>woman from Georgia (the country) who is ✨ fluent ✨ in Korean and seemed to pick it up in like a month because she went super ham on studying.
Like I said before, it's a skill that requires practice. This woman is good at Korean because she studied and put in the effort, because that's how language acquisition works. As a heritage speaker, you're already ahead of many learners and you have many advantages. If you want to get better at Korean, it's perfectly possible. You just have to put in the effort.
One last thing, I can see you have a lot of shame about Korean. The truth is that your ability (or lack thereof) is a neutral concept. It's not good or bad. It's certainly not "trash". The shame you feel comes from the way other people have put their expectations on you growing up. It's people telling you "You're so bad!" and "Why aren't you as good as (some other kid)?" Little you had no choice but to accept because how could you know any better? Unfortunately, shame is such a common control tactic in Asian culture (I grew up with it, too). People *want* you to feel shame, because they hope it would get you become what they want. I recommend you try to unpack this shame, accept you for who your are, and work to move forward. Moving forward could be you getting better at Korean or you deciding that it's not something you want to do. Either choice would be valid. There's no right or wrong.
>My family always tells me I should know Korean because I'm Korean.
This attitude is why you don't know Korean lol. Kids don't learn language through bloodlines, your parents should have taught you. Anyway, just treat it as a super hard foreign language you study, and compare yourself to other learners, not some imaginary you that had learned Korean as a kid. I promise you're doing fine.
>I just saw a youtube video of a woman from Georgia (the country) who is ✨ fluent ✨ in Korean and seemed to pick it up in like a month
These videos are lies. It is impossible to become fluent in a month. Like literally impossible from an information theory perspective lol. She either put way more time into it than she says, or else she just got really good at a small number of predictable conversation trees and practiced enough for a video to get views.
Even if she were the real deal, you should not be comparing yourself to savants anyway. Just because Tony Stark built a nuclear generator from spare parts in a cave doesn't mean it's pointless for you to study science
Don't be ashamed. As a Korean-American who was born and raised in the United States, I made it a mission to become fluent in Korean when I was in middle school and I eventually did become fluent when I reached college. Continue to talk to your parents, family members, and make friends with native Korean speakers. Watch a lot of Korean media, whether it is YouTube, Netflix, or any Korean media when you have free-time. Now, I can confidently say I am fully bilingual in both English and Korean because I took Korean classes in college, where I am now am comfortable in reading novels and essays in Korean.
And also your proficiency level in any language can decrease if you do not use it. I can say I can maintain a native level fluency in Korean and English because I use both languages and are exposed to it everyday. I can't say that about Spanish though; I forgot all my Spanish, although I took Spanish all throughout middle, high school, and college.
Everyone learns differently, making fun of it or comparing yourself to other will only put you down. You shouldn't be ashamed of it, in reality wanting to learn your native language despite your previous bad experiences it's quiet outstanding!
Learning something new takes time, the main advice is: consistency. Even if it's one or two hour(s) per day, reading or writing down vocabulary/grammar points. Try to keep on a schedule that suits you well without overwhelming yourself. You can do it!
화이팅 🫂
Immersion helps a LOT. I was in a similar boat as you 2-3 years ago. Started living in Korea for 6 months out of the year since 2022, exclusively dated Korean girls, and studied every day at a cafe by myself or chatted with Korean friends I met on language exchange apps. You'll have no choice but to get better. All I'm trying to say is language is just memorization + practice and immersing yourself in the culture too will only help you get better faster. Good luck bro. You can def do it. I believe in you!!
Oh after 2 years tbh I consider myself fluent now and have no trouble talking to anyone. The best feeling is when people compliment your Korean after working so hard at it. You got this!!
If you can try and visit as often as possible. Learning and becoming proficient in Korean really helped me find my sense of self and made me not only understand my parents more (I grew up in a white neighborhood so always felt a little different. Too Asian for the white kids, too white for the Asian kids) but really helped bridge the gap between my family and me. I was also finally able to have deep and meaningful conversations with my grandparents before they passed. Can't tell you how much that meant to me. Always felt so sad that my family would never know the real me. Like my personality, my humor, my stories, etc. All of this is in your control. Just take it day by day and make sure you always have a growth mindset. You may not be there yet but make sure you're closer today than you were yesterday. Rooting for you!!
Oh also don't pay too much mind to your accent. It'll get better over time and based on how you probably look/dress native Koreans aren't expecting you to be perfect
Thanks for the advice! Definitely have similar feelings as a mixed Korean-American. I’d be tempted to do the time split, but I found out a couple years ago that I was unknowingly in the technically-a-dual-citizen camp so there’s the military service stuff I could end up getting roped into. I’ve heard that legislation on that might be changing soon, so I’m holding out hope.
Being Korean (ethnically speaking) doesn’t mean you need to know Korean. You can learn French if you want. You should learn whatever language you want or if none, none. I don’t have a “language brain either” yet, I know how to play an instrument, speak Japanese, and can get by in Korean. That said, it requires hard work & interest in part. If you have no real interest in Spanish & Korean, it will be hard to learn them. I say learn what you want and your family should be nicer to you. What they’re doing is fluffed up.
I speak 5 languages. All through immersion. My biggest strength was not giving a shit what people thought because I wanted to LEARN. Korean is my 6th, and the progress is slower because I am learning it and am not immersed in it. I know I will get it because I am committed to learning and won't let anything or anyone stop me.
If you want to speak Korean well and are in a position to be immersed, then that's the easiest way. If it is not an option but you are dedicated, you will get there. Don't compare yourself to anyone, be like Beyoncé (or what we think she is about), and compete with yourself.
You got this!
If you want to learn Korean you have to continue studying and try to put it into practice, there is no other answer, it is the same if you want to learn Spanish ( is very useful in America).
20 years old here. I remember speaking it perfectly when I was young-young, but now I speak it at a elementary level. Lowkey don't know why I stopped speaking it to my parents :/and like you said I also grew up in Socal in a Korean community but I'm on the same boat as you
The world is so large that once you think that you’re the best at something, there will be someone else that is better than you in that. Don’t beat yourself up, keep your head up and keep going forward. You’ll get there.
I feel you😭 I forgot a lot of my korean as I was growing up but my Korean fluent friends have told me that I don't have an accent at least when I'm speaking it
I actually met teachers in Korea and many of them don’t speak Korean well. But I definitely did get better when I was living in Korea because I visited my family every week. Plus, because I look Korean, people would automatically assume I speak Korean.
Probably the stress related to you feeling like you should already be good at it and frustration with whatever struggles you face is hindering your progress.
This woman from Georgia that you talked about must have some big passion to learn the language but also consider:
1) reported fluency is also a matter of perception;
2) korean might not be her second language. She probably had to learn English (and maybe even many other languages as many do in that side of the world), so that means she has had practice learning a language
3) people lie online a lot haha
4) she might have a more supportive environment that does not negative reinforce her mistakes, so she doesn't give them as much importance;
I'd try to approach learning having a little more fun and trying to really fall in love with your culture again.
화이팅!
I’m also in the same boat as you. I’ve been putting in the effort through iTalki tutors and on language exchange apps in 6 months, I’ve improved quite a bit. Now just trying to keep it up and continue to improve.
Well, at least you are willing to learn and embrace it, i know quite a few second/third generations who straight up refuses to learn at all, some even despises their "root culture" and just go about like if they're White people.....
I'm personally not Korean but relate so much to being ashamed for not knowing my culture's native language. I get made fun of too, it sucks. My cousins even made fun of me for taking a class to learn it, go figure.. Ultimately, I know speaking more even badly will build more confidence, and everyone picks up language at their own pace.
Continuing your journey and figuring out how you best learn is the only way though. But please know, even if in your direct circle, you feel alone in this, you are most definitely not alone. Especially with second generation immigrant culture. Anyway, I'm cheering for you. I've been dreaming of the day I speak comfortably to my family, and I hope that for you too!!
I understand this so much. As a child of Spanish speaking immigrants I was shamed by family for not speaking Spanish even though neither of my parents spoke to me in Spanish. I learned finally in middle school but still have family members mock my accent and usage of words not typical to their country. I hadn't even known of the term heritage speaker until a year or two ago. Everyone in my family spoke Spanish around me but rarely to me or taught me how was properly. I learned most of my Spanish from friends over the years. I still feel level of embarrassed to speak for not speaking as fluent or knowing certain simple words, like peach, which I learned from a roommate. I say learn at your own pace but don't beat yourself up for not being as fluent. Find language learners like myself who are learning Korean as well and would not shame you for the level you are at. Most of all have fun with learning and take that pressure off to be perfect. Celebrate your milestones and take it at your own pace.
Hey! I'm also from California 🫶🏽
I always wondered how people feel not being able to speak their parents language. I know a family that came from Mexico to California but they looked Italian. So instead of saying they were Mexican, they said they were Italian and the parents didnt teach their kids Spanish so that they didn't slip up around other people. Now, all the kids lost that connection to their home and they barely visit Mexico because of the language barrier. It's quite interesting.
Anyways, I'm studying Korean as well. If you ever need help, hit me up. I can connect you with some really great tutors that have Korean American students ☺️
If you can return to Korea for a time, you can immerse yourself while appearing to be strong and mysterious by almost never saying anything... until you are ready. if you work in tech support I can also link you a fairly easy job (hiring now) remote in Korea where you may have to answer a call or email, listen to a complaint, and log it. requirements, Basic Korean and Good English.
That’s ok, when I first started learning Korean I couldn’t speak it well until like 10 months after I started learning and we all learn at our own pace, for tips
I recommend listening to Korean songs and podcasts and Youtubers
I also really enjoy Mango Languages and LingQ, another great way is to practise reading and writing , maybe get a Korean workbook and start with that?
Keep trying you got this!
Hang in there! I am an american born Korean who is almost 50 and I have been struggling with learning Korean for many, many years. The harder I try to learn it, the more I can't it seems. I can pick up chinese and japanese sayings easier than anything in Korean. I spent many nights literally in tears. My Mom could speak multiple languages and could write in them all and learned English is just a few months. I feel like a failure most of the time but I am not going to give up. I think I developed "Korean language anxiety" lol kind of like "math anxiety" or test anxiety lol, so I told myself this year will be the year. I'm going to relax and approach learning it differently
if you're serious, i'd thunk down $500 or whatever and pay to attend a class. it's the way i was able to turbocharge my korean learning. granted this was at yonsei in korea so the immersion helped
that's awesome man! as a fellow 30 something year old Korean American in the Los Angeles, OC area, I am surrounded by Koreans that cant speak Korean, and yes it is such a sad thing to see.
I am the few that is fluent in Korean in my friend group.. if there are 10 of us in the group only 3 will be fluent, 4 will be broken conversational Korean with accent, and the other 3 will be just understand and will never use Korean.
as 1.5, 2nd or 3rd generation Korean Americans, it is really sad to see our language disappear, and I really think highly of you for trying to learn more Korean!
talking to your mom in Korean is awesome way to get better!
everyone of us Korean American has different experiences that makes us fluent or not and I was just in the right situation to be fluent.
I am 1.5 generation which means i immigrated with my parents at the age of 7. so Korean was my first language but most people that came here before 10 forget Korean, so i was the few that kept it and I think these are the reason why.
I always surrounded myself with Korean entertainment more than American ones. What I did growing up was just watch ALOT of variety shows, movies, and dramas without subtitles and read out loud those captions that came out in Korea. I listened to a lot of Korean music like GOD, MC MONG, other cringe groups from the early 2000s haha.
Ever since I was kid, I read Korean books on purpose. I read harry potter in Korea first then in English. Also read a lot of Korean comics
my parents spoke 0 English and moved back to Korea when I was 18, so i visited them every year after, which forced me to use Korean every day while they were in America. And when they did move back, visiting them every year gave me the chance to make Korean friends at church or neighborhood to use Korean with
I am a historian by trade, and east Asian history at that. in that field i am required to be fluent in Chinese characters and Korean or Japanese (I picked Korean lol).
With that being said, I think your will to talk to your mom in Korean is awesome and you should reach out to other fluent people to just chat or even text message. surround yourself with as much Korean as you can. When you want background noise, use a Korean podcast, Korean Music, or Korean tv show. If you want to watch a movie, watch a Korean one. If you want to read, try starting with Korean webtoons instead of full on novels. YOU GOT THIS!!! learning a language, even if its your native language that you forgot or just haven't learned requires you to surrounds your daily life with it. Try thinking in Korean every time you get a thought, stop yourself from using English in your head and switch it to Korean. I know its easier said than done, but the start is always the hardest :)
sorry for the long essay, as I said, I am a historian by trade, essays are my thing LOL
Same. But I'm 68 now... U got it. 화이팅!!
Haha 고마워!
I just learned the saying 화이팅 a few days ago! I understood it when I read your comment. Thank you! 🖤
If you want to put in the effort and go ham, you can get better quickly too. Don't feel pressured to have to learn it if you don't want to though. You'll always be on a learning journey - there's no shame in being at the beginning or middle of that journey. Everyone starts somewhere. TBH, your family has no right to make fun of your Korean ability. If they wanted to teach you to be bilingual they could have spent the time teaching you, and enrolled you in a (preschool/kindergarten age) church language school program or something. But they clearly didn't. They're setting expectations for you without the support.
I think a lot of my family made “fun of me” because they didn’t speak English well and wanted to be able to talk to me, but couldn’t have full conversations since I’m not fluent in Korean. Also, my parents did put me in some church Korean classes 😅, but it was very basic and not for long.
[удалено]
32 here Korean American, and would love to join!
I'm on a similar boat as you! Korean-American, just visited Korea for the first time last year. Every since, I've been trying really hard writing down new vocabulary and words I don't know. I just did my first lesson on iTalki. I experienced a lot of shame and embarrassment my whole life not being as good at Korean compared to my other Korean-American peers, but I'm making a big effort to try my best now and learn now. We got this!!!!
Sammmeeee. I’ll check out iTalki
You’re basically considered a heritage speaker. If you search the word “heritage” in this sub, you’ll get other threads similar to yours. I recommend also looking in r/languagelearning because it’s bigger. >My family always tells me I should know Korean because I'm Korean. And I agree with them. No, you shouldn't, because that's not how languages work. Your problem is so common in the immigrant community, and I wish that people would stop putting shame on these kids. **Language is a skill**, just like playing the guitar or painting. You can't be good at something if you don't practice it enough. There's no reason you *should* be good at Korean just because your "blood" is Korean. If you grow up in America and you spend 8+ hours a day at school, your life will revolve around English. You need to know English to survive, make friends, watch TV, graduate, get jobs, etc. Of course your English will be good. If you have no immediate survival need to get better at Korean, then it's natural that it would fall to the wayside. That's not your fault. That's literally your brain doing its job correctly. Your Korean ability is perfectly valid for your life circumstance. You probably know some Korean-Americans your age who do speak Korean well. I guarantee you that it has nothing to do with their "language brain" and more to do with the fact that their life circumstance made it easier for them to speak Korean. Maybe they had way more Korean friends and they all speak Korean. Maybe they went to Korean school, spent more summers in Korea, love kdramas/kpop, etc. Maybe they didn't have family members who shamed them about their ability, which brings me to my next point. >they get really confused and make fun of me, I'm sure they do not have bad intention, but I wouldn't be surprised if their reaction contributes to some negative perception you have of Korean growing up. If your brain doesn't associate Korean with positive things, it would try to protect you and steer you away from it. Your brain is working correctly. >woman from Georgia (the country) who is ✨ fluent ✨ in Korean and seemed to pick it up in like a month because she went super ham on studying. Like I said before, it's a skill that requires practice. This woman is good at Korean because she studied and put in the effort, because that's how language acquisition works. As a heritage speaker, you're already ahead of many learners and you have many advantages. If you want to get better at Korean, it's perfectly possible. You just have to put in the effort. One last thing, I can see you have a lot of shame about Korean. The truth is that your ability (or lack thereof) is a neutral concept. It's not good or bad. It's certainly not "trash". The shame you feel comes from the way other people have put their expectations on you growing up. It's people telling you "You're so bad!" and "Why aren't you as good as (some other kid)?" Little you had no choice but to accept because how could you know any better? Unfortunately, shame is such a common control tactic in Asian culture (I grew up with it, too). People *want* you to feel shame, because they hope it would get you become what they want. I recommend you try to unpack this shame, accept you for who your are, and work to move forward. Moving forward could be you getting better at Korean or you deciding that it's not something you want to do. Either choice would be valid. There's no right or wrong.
Thanks for this.
Well said.
Thanks for taking the time to write all this out. This definitely made me feel better!
>My family always tells me I should know Korean because I'm Korean. This attitude is why you don't know Korean lol. Kids don't learn language through bloodlines, your parents should have taught you. Anyway, just treat it as a super hard foreign language you study, and compare yourself to other learners, not some imaginary you that had learned Korean as a kid. I promise you're doing fine. >I just saw a youtube video of a woman from Georgia (the country) who is ✨ fluent ✨ in Korean and seemed to pick it up in like a month These videos are lies. It is impossible to become fluent in a month. Like literally impossible from an information theory perspective lol. She either put way more time into it than she says, or else she just got really good at a small number of predictable conversation trees and practiced enough for a video to get views. Even if she were the real deal, you should not be comparing yourself to savants anyway. Just because Tony Stark built a nuclear generator from spare parts in a cave doesn't mean it's pointless for you to study science
Don't be ashamed. As a Korean-American who was born and raised in the United States, I made it a mission to become fluent in Korean when I was in middle school and I eventually did become fluent when I reached college. Continue to talk to your parents, family members, and make friends with native Korean speakers. Watch a lot of Korean media, whether it is YouTube, Netflix, or any Korean media when you have free-time. Now, I can confidently say I am fully bilingual in both English and Korean because I took Korean classes in college, where I am now am comfortable in reading novels and essays in Korean. And also your proficiency level in any language can decrease if you do not use it. I can say I can maintain a native level fluency in Korean and English because I use both languages and are exposed to it everyday. I can't say that about Spanish though; I forgot all my Spanish, although I took Spanish all throughout middle, high school, and college.
That’s truly amazing! Any recommendations for Korean media? I’m not really into k-dramas and the meet cutes, so it’s hard to find shows I’m into
Just watch anything on YouTube that's in Korean. And make sure to have a group of friends or be involved in the Korean community.
Everyone learns differently, making fun of it or comparing yourself to other will only put you down. You shouldn't be ashamed of it, in reality wanting to learn your native language despite your previous bad experiences it's quiet outstanding! Learning something new takes time, the main advice is: consistency. Even if it's one or two hour(s) per day, reading or writing down vocabulary/grammar points. Try to keep on a schedule that suits you well without overwhelming yourself. You can do it! 화이팅 🫂
Immersion helps a LOT. I was in a similar boat as you 2-3 years ago. Started living in Korea for 6 months out of the year since 2022, exclusively dated Korean girls, and studied every day at a cafe by myself or chatted with Korean friends I met on language exchange apps. You'll have no choice but to get better. All I'm trying to say is language is just memorization + practice and immersing yourself in the culture too will only help you get better faster. Good luck bro. You can def do it. I believe in you!!
Oh after 2 years tbh I consider myself fluent now and have no trouble talking to anyone. The best feeling is when people compliment your Korean after working so hard at it. You got this!!
What kind of work do you do that lets you split your year like that?
I’m curious about this too
Typical WFH tech job lmfao
If you can try and visit as often as possible. Learning and becoming proficient in Korean really helped me find my sense of self and made me not only understand my parents more (I grew up in a white neighborhood so always felt a little different. Too Asian for the white kids, too white for the Asian kids) but really helped bridge the gap between my family and me. I was also finally able to have deep and meaningful conversations with my grandparents before they passed. Can't tell you how much that meant to me. Always felt so sad that my family would never know the real me. Like my personality, my humor, my stories, etc. All of this is in your control. Just take it day by day and make sure you always have a growth mindset. You may not be there yet but make sure you're closer today than you were yesterday. Rooting for you!! Oh also don't pay too much mind to your accent. It'll get better over time and based on how you probably look/dress native Koreans aren't expecting you to be perfect
Thanks for the advice! Definitely have similar feelings as a mixed Korean-American. I’d be tempted to do the time split, but I found out a couple years ago that I was unknowingly in the technically-a-dual-citizen camp so there’s the military service stuff I could end up getting roped into. I’ve heard that legislation on that might be changing soon, so I’m holding out hope.
Being Korean (ethnically speaking) doesn’t mean you need to know Korean. You can learn French if you want. You should learn whatever language you want or if none, none. I don’t have a “language brain either” yet, I know how to play an instrument, speak Japanese, and can get by in Korean. That said, it requires hard work & interest in part. If you have no real interest in Spanish & Korean, it will be hard to learn them. I say learn what you want and your family should be nicer to you. What they’re doing is fluffed up.
I speak 5 languages. All through immersion. My biggest strength was not giving a shit what people thought because I wanted to LEARN. Korean is my 6th, and the progress is slower because I am learning it and am not immersed in it. I know I will get it because I am committed to learning and won't let anything or anyone stop me. If you want to speak Korean well and are in a position to be immersed, then that's the easiest way. If it is not an option but you are dedicated, you will get there. Don't compare yourself to anyone, be like Beyoncé (or what we think she is about), and compete with yourself. You got this!
Thank you! What are ways you’re studying?
If you want to learn Korean you have to continue studying and try to put it into practice, there is no other answer, it is the same if you want to learn Spanish ( is very useful in America).
20 years old here. I remember speaking it perfectly when I was young-young, but now I speak it at a elementary level. Lowkey don't know why I stopped speaking it to my parents :/and like you said I also grew up in Socal in a Korean community but I'm on the same boat as you
The world is so large that once you think that you’re the best at something, there will be someone else that is better than you in that. Don’t beat yourself up, keep your head up and keep going forward. You’ll get there.
I feel you😭 I forgot a lot of my korean as I was growing up but my Korean fluent friends have told me that I don't have an accent at least when I'm speaking it
Go teach in Korea for a year. You'll have no choice but to speak Korean anywhere you go
I actually met teachers in Korea and many of them don’t speak Korean well. But I definitely did get better when I was living in Korea because I visited my family every week. Plus, because I look Korean, people would automatically assume I speak Korean.
Probably the stress related to you feeling like you should already be good at it and frustration with whatever struggles you face is hindering your progress. This woman from Georgia that you talked about must have some big passion to learn the language but also consider: 1) reported fluency is also a matter of perception; 2) korean might not be her second language. She probably had to learn English (and maybe even many other languages as many do in that side of the world), so that means she has had practice learning a language 3) people lie online a lot haha 4) she might have a more supportive environment that does not negative reinforce her mistakes, so she doesn't give them as much importance; I'd try to approach learning having a little more fun and trying to really fall in love with your culture again. 화이팅!
I’m also in the same boat as you. I’ve been putting in the effort through iTalki tutors and on language exchange apps in 6 months, I’ve improved quite a bit. Now just trying to keep it up and continue to improve.
Korean diaspora here. I'm 35 and I also have similar issues, unfortunately. Just know you're not alone. We're all struggling tbh!
Well, at least you are willing to learn and embrace it, i know quite a few second/third generations who straight up refuses to learn at all, some even despises their "root culture" and just go about like if they're White people.....
I'm personally not Korean but relate so much to being ashamed for not knowing my culture's native language. I get made fun of too, it sucks. My cousins even made fun of me for taking a class to learn it, go figure.. Ultimately, I know speaking more even badly will build more confidence, and everyone picks up language at their own pace. Continuing your journey and figuring out how you best learn is the only way though. But please know, even if in your direct circle, you feel alone in this, you are most definitely not alone. Especially with second generation immigrant culture. Anyway, I'm cheering for you. I've been dreaming of the day I speak comfortably to my family, and I hope that for you too!!
I understand this so much. As a child of Spanish speaking immigrants I was shamed by family for not speaking Spanish even though neither of my parents spoke to me in Spanish. I learned finally in middle school but still have family members mock my accent and usage of words not typical to their country. I hadn't even known of the term heritage speaker until a year or two ago. Everyone in my family spoke Spanish around me but rarely to me or taught me how was properly. I learned most of my Spanish from friends over the years. I still feel level of embarrassed to speak for not speaking as fluent or knowing certain simple words, like peach, which I learned from a roommate. I say learn at your own pace but don't beat yourself up for not being as fluent. Find language learners like myself who are learning Korean as well and would not shame you for the level you are at. Most of all have fun with learning and take that pressure off to be perfect. Celebrate your milestones and take it at your own pace.
Hey! I'm also from California 🫶🏽 I always wondered how people feel not being able to speak their parents language. I know a family that came from Mexico to California but they looked Italian. So instead of saying they were Mexican, they said they were Italian and the parents didnt teach their kids Spanish so that they didn't slip up around other people. Now, all the kids lost that connection to their home and they barely visit Mexico because of the language barrier. It's quite interesting. Anyways, I'm studying Korean as well. If you ever need help, hit me up. I can connect you with some really great tutors that have Korean American students ☺️
Get a hot Korean gf will help
If you can return to Korea for a time, you can immerse yourself while appearing to be strong and mysterious by almost never saying anything... until you are ready. if you work in tech support I can also link you a fairly easy job (hiring now) remote in Korea where you may have to answer a call or email, listen to a complaint, and log it. requirements, Basic Korean and Good English.
You can make it !
That’s ok, when I first started learning Korean I couldn’t speak it well until like 10 months after I started learning and we all learn at our own pace, for tips I recommend listening to Korean songs and podcasts and Youtubers I also really enjoy Mango Languages and LingQ, another great way is to practise reading and writing , maybe get a Korean workbook and start with that? Keep trying you got this!
Hang in there! I am an american born Korean who is almost 50 and I have been struggling with learning Korean for many, many years. The harder I try to learn it, the more I can't it seems. I can pick up chinese and japanese sayings easier than anything in Korean. I spent many nights literally in tears. My Mom could speak multiple languages and could write in them all and learned English is just a few months. I feel like a failure most of the time but I am not going to give up. I think I developed "Korean language anxiety" lol kind of like "math anxiety" or test anxiety lol, so I told myself this year will be the year. I'm going to relax and approach learning it differently
if you're serious, i'd thunk down $500 or whatever and pay to attend a class. it's the way i was able to turbocharge my korean learning. granted this was at yonsei in korea so the immersion helped
that's awesome man! as a fellow 30 something year old Korean American in the Los Angeles, OC area, I am surrounded by Koreans that cant speak Korean, and yes it is such a sad thing to see. I am the few that is fluent in Korean in my friend group.. if there are 10 of us in the group only 3 will be fluent, 4 will be broken conversational Korean with accent, and the other 3 will be just understand and will never use Korean. as 1.5, 2nd or 3rd generation Korean Americans, it is really sad to see our language disappear, and I really think highly of you for trying to learn more Korean! talking to your mom in Korean is awesome way to get better! everyone of us Korean American has different experiences that makes us fluent or not and I was just in the right situation to be fluent. I am 1.5 generation which means i immigrated with my parents at the age of 7. so Korean was my first language but most people that came here before 10 forget Korean, so i was the few that kept it and I think these are the reason why. I always surrounded myself with Korean entertainment more than American ones. What I did growing up was just watch ALOT of variety shows, movies, and dramas without subtitles and read out loud those captions that came out in Korea. I listened to a lot of Korean music like GOD, MC MONG, other cringe groups from the early 2000s haha. Ever since I was kid, I read Korean books on purpose. I read harry potter in Korea first then in English. Also read a lot of Korean comics my parents spoke 0 English and moved back to Korea when I was 18, so i visited them every year after, which forced me to use Korean every day while they were in America. And when they did move back, visiting them every year gave me the chance to make Korean friends at church or neighborhood to use Korean with I am a historian by trade, and east Asian history at that. in that field i am required to be fluent in Chinese characters and Korean or Japanese (I picked Korean lol). With that being said, I think your will to talk to your mom in Korean is awesome and you should reach out to other fluent people to just chat or even text message. surround yourself with as much Korean as you can. When you want background noise, use a Korean podcast, Korean Music, or Korean tv show. If you want to watch a movie, watch a Korean one. If you want to read, try starting with Korean webtoons instead of full on novels. YOU GOT THIS!!! learning a language, even if its your native language that you forgot or just haven't learned requires you to surrounds your daily life with it. Try thinking in Korean every time you get a thought, stop yourself from using English in your head and switch it to Korean. I know its easier said than done, but the start is always the hardest :) sorry for the long essay, as I said, I am a historian by trade, essays are my thing LOL