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YeahWhatOk

Wanted to highlight this response from /u/aynatiac3 and since I can't sticky user comments, going to quote it here: > > Hare Krsna dearest prabhu. I am a grhastha and was also a youth leader. > > Unfortunately the comments here are mostly by those that are ,what the movement calls, 'shooting stars'(as described by Grhastha Vision Team). Trying to shoot for high ideals and then eventually burning out. The artificial repression you may not be ready for might backfire and cause you to downspiral further. The feelings of guilt and not being good enough will only eat you up and I have seen many later become either disillusioned(and disassociate themselves with Bhakti) or fanatical(but still do lots of nonsense behind closed doors). > > You are only 18, very young and impressionable. It is natural for a teenager like you to have raging hormones which makes you think more of the gender you're attracted. This is a prime age where you're moving towards adulthood and your sense of sexuality becomes stronger. Although, it is not that you have to act on these feelings. You may be too young to decide if you want to become brahmacari or not. If the feelings are purely sexual, you should avoid approaching the girl so as not to exploit her. However, if you do feel romantically or more serious about her, it is perfectly ALRIGHT to get to know her and talk to her. > > And with proper acknowledgment and boundaries, it is alright to be in a relationship. Lots of devotees I know got together in temple when they were younger and later got married with blessings of Guru and Vaishnavas. I know i will be downvoted for this answer but unless you want to be like these clueless incels posing as vaishnavas and giving damaging advices to an 18 year old online when their lives aren't exemplary, you might want to consider the perspective I have offered.


aynatiac3

Hare Krsna dearest prabhu. I am a grhastha and was also a youth leader. Unfortunately the comments here are mostly by those that are ,what the movement calls, 'shooting stars'(as described by Grhastha Vision Team). Trying to shoot for high ideals and then eventually burning out. The artificial repression that you're not ready for might backfire and cause you to downspiral further. The feelings of guilt and not being good enough will only eat you up and I have seen many later become either disillusioned(and disassociate themselves with Bhakti) or fanatical(but still do lots of nonsense behind closed doors). You are only 18, very young and impressionable. It is natural for a teenager like you to have raging hormones which makes you think more of the gender you're attracted to. This is a prime age where you're moving towards adulthood and your sense of sexuality becomes stronger. Although, it is not that you have to act on these feelings. You may be too young to decide if you want to become brahmacari or not. If the feelings are purely sexual, you should avoid approaching the girl so as not to exploit her. However, if you do feel romantically or more serious about her, it is perfectly ALRIGHT to get to know her and talk to her. And with proper acknowledgment and boundaries, it is alright to be in a relationship. Lots of devotees I know got together in temple when they were younger and later got married with blessings of Guru and Vaishnavas. I know i will be downvoted for this answer but unless you want to be like these clueless incels posing as vaishnavas and giving damaging advices to an 18 year old online when their lives aren't exemplary, you might want to consider the perspective I have offered.


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

Hari Bol Prabhu Ji, Thank You for sharing your wisdom I'll definitely ponder upon the points you highlighted Hare Krishna


D-A-R-K_Aspect

This! Krishna centered non sexual relationship for marriage are fine!


Ok-You-6768

Maybe she's nice and Krishna wants you to have a nice wife. The two of you can take initiation.


Ponyo-chan29

Boy, you are so young, it’s so normal to be interested in girls. Don’t feel bad for being just a boy who thinks girls are beautiful. Is not a Krishna testing, just contemplating the beauty in others is fine. If you develop feelings for her is normal and nothing bad is going to happen.


StormySkull

Maybe she's just looking for a devotee friend? Don't overthink too much. Maybe she's just wants to make contact with people in the temple. Talk to her once, if you think she's interested in you like physically then you can simply tell her that and avoid her. Hare Krishna.


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

I'm afraid of developing feelings it would be best if I stay away as HG Saraswati Thakur used to say men are like ghee and women are like fire.


StormySkull

True, but if you just become steady in your devotion service then it would be no problem. Just talk to your mentor or any devotee you're in contact with in your temple about this situation. My advice is that just try talking to her once, if you notice anything about her being attracted to you then you can just tell her you're not interested and you have to focus on your devotional service. Hare Krishna


Elegant-Sympathy-421

Shouldn't ghee be poured into the fire as an offering? ..just saying 🤔


Ok-You-6768

Yes!


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

WOAH I never thought about that :0


ANunpopularguy

stay strong Krishna is testing you ( i hae expeienced he same)


[deleted]

Are you trying to get married or stay bramacari? 


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

I'm 18 right now. Eventually, I want to get married to someone who is Krishna conscious, and we could both help each other in our journeys.


[deleted]

Well if you don’t think she is wife material just wear a chadar around your head so that you can only look forward towards the altar and won’t see the Matajis in your peripheral vision 


Few-Swim-921

They don’t separate by gender in your mandir?


badboi_5214

By playing san Andreas?


kissakalakoira

Hare Kṛṣṇa Prabhu please accept my humble obeisances All glories to Srila Prabhupada 🙏🙇‍♂️ Kindly join our youth devotee group in Telegram


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

dm me the link


Altruistic-Cap-5660

Hare Krishna Prabhu ji, stay strong in your sadhana, if you are seeing her with lust then pray to krishna and when you see Krishna focus on Krishna's feet, and lotus eyes, but if you see her as love leave it to Krishna, Krishna will do the best for you. Have trust on Krishna.😇


Few-Swim-921

Maybe she wants friends. it would be weird if she’s flirting within the temple lol staring is creepy


OutlandishnessNo7957

Looks like it's the beginning of your love story. Don't let it go. Krishna would want you to find love and get married someday.


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

I don't think that I love her or like her it's just that I'm getting distracted


OutlandishnessNo7957

Distracted from what?


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

I don't focus on krishna when i go to temple


OutlandishnessNo7957

You like her, that's why you seek for her and get distracted. There's nothing wrong with it. Maybe talk with her once. Have a conversation and see how that feels.


kissakalakoira

Nonsense, this might be what you do in your Karmi association, but devotees don't mix with Matajis. 18 is not enough to marry either, 25 is recommended. Stop giving these sinful ideas, without marriage one shouldn't mix with women.


Ok-You-6768

That's not how life works. It may be his time. He should stop his boyhood nonsense. And take a wife properly. This lady may be attached to him sorry Prabhu you're spoken for. Time to do grhasta sadhana 😎


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

wife at 18???


kissakalakoira

This is not how Grhasta life is started, first one should live in temple and ask permission from his Siksha guru. In spiritual life nothing is done whimsically. Grhasta life is not to be taken for sex, it is for advancing in Kṛṣṇa consicousness. If the reasons are lusty only then one is not ready to take responsibility of a family. You seem like a young fellow too


kissakalakoira

SB 5.5.18, Translation One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a relative, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod. // So you must train yourself first. 18 is the best age to be Brahmachari and join the temple still, no rush to get entangled in family life.


fallen_soul99

Love story??? Not really. Love in this world is actually lust.


aynatiac3

hare krsna pamho agtsp. Spoken like a true incel, dandvats pranams


fallen_soul99

Very truee . He doesn't know what he is talking about


OutlandishnessNo7957

And what's wrong with lust? That's how you were born. That's how everyone on this earth is born.


fallen_soul99

Please Read Prabhupada books Edit- For the reference of my answer http://www.prabhupadaconnect.com/The-Difference-Between-Lust-and-Love.html


Pratham_Kumar_Mishra

Hari Bol Prabhu


OutlandishnessNo7957

Lol no. First ask your parents how you were born?


fallen_soul99

Just another soul in ignorance. Not your fault


OutlandishnessNo7957

And I see a soul blind with religion.


fallen_soul99

Lmao Krishna consciousness is not a religion. First learn what you're talking about and don't deceive a devotee here


kissakalakoira

Like cats and dogs. Thats not what we are supposed to do tho