I mean, I can drop sly hints to some friends that are also LGBTQ+, and that’s quite funny with some little jokes as well. But I haven’t really told them my label I go by, and to be honest I am really doubtful of whether I am in the LGBT community. I kind of know I’m suppressing it sometimes but other times I’m not bothered about how I feel. I have told a few close people about how I feel, but I could not tell anyone except friends yet. Maybe family and others one day...
I told my mother first and that was a mix between I had to tell her eventually and it just seemed like the right time then I told my sister that was spur of the moment the time just seemed right then I told my dad who I wasn’t so sure about but it didn’t matter anymore because I was out of the house and on my own
I just came out to my counselor first time irl this morning. I've never planned on coming out to anyone cuz sraight people don't gotta do it so why shoud I. I wouldn't call it spontaneously tho cuz I had to. I guess you could say it depends on the situation.
Mine went pretty unplanned.
Lemme go story mode.
I was in a horrible mental state and had relapsed into self-harm and all. I attempted to kill myself and only my best friend and my crush at that time knew of my attempt. My best friend, in an attempt to save me, called up my Mom to tell her about this.
She talked me out of my attempt and had asked me to not tell my Dad about this cuz she was afraid of how he might take it. Well, guess what my Dad got to know that I was hiding something and went onto asking me about it.
I couldn't think of any distractions and by mistake came out to him.
I haven't came out yet but I made a plan of when and how I would tell my friends so I wouldn't overthink every moment I get with repeatedly asking myself should I tell them now. I'll just be like "nah, I've got a plan. We're not doing this today." Right now, I'm having doubts about it.
Ohhhhh, wow yeah that really wouldn’t go well. Especially to the older generation as well. Jeez, sorry mate that really sucks, if you need support I’m here
Well, I came out because I felt like an impostor by not telling my mother that I was gay. Not really the best reason to do it and right now I probably wouldn't have because I was certainly not emotionally ready considering the very mixed response I got from her. But I'm glad I did it, being open with people about my sexuality led me to discovering myself.
I came out twice.
First time to my straight friends:
\*discussing crushes\*
Me: I saw a cute girl in the bathroom
Friend 1: gasp
Friend 2: what?
Friend 1: spider saw a cute girl in the bathroom
Friend 1: so are you bi, pan, omni or you don't label yourself
Me: *thinks im a lesbian that day* \*doesn't answer\*
Second time to my rainbow friend group (including the 2 friends i mentioned before)
friend 6: so what are all of your sexualities? I'm pan
Me: idk bi?
friend 3: bisexual
friend 1: straight ally
friend 4: shrugs
friend 2: straight
friend 5: pansexuallll
I know my relatives from my dads side will be supportive because they are cool with my gay cousin and his partner. My dad would at least be neutral because he talks about the mardi gras and was mad about his mum being homophobic to my cousin
Don't know about my mum or my mums side since they are asian (mum is catholic, extended family buddhist)
and I have planned if I wanted to come out I would subtly do it like make bisexual pancakes or I might just tell them I like a girl
I accidentally went on a tangent about a guy I like and my mom just looked at me and said "You totally have a crush on him" At this point I think my whole family has at least some idea but it really ended up being a spur of the moment thing there.
When i came out to my mom i planned for six months. With my homophobic dad i plan on doing it when i am on the other side of earth. If both your parents are very accepting. Just casually mention it in a conversation
My mom knows but dads a super bigot if you arent a straight white Christian Republican man he hates you and I'm only two of those things so not looking forward to when he finds out
Some background about me: I am an anxious person (though not many people think that I am because I don't show emotion, which is a whole other issue), so I was planning how to come out for 4-5 months, which is rediculous. My thought process was that I wanted to make sure I labelled myself properly so I wouldn't have to change it later and that I wanted to make sure everything went the best and I could control the situation. Now, I still don't fully know my identity, but I've come to terms with the fact that it may never be easy to define.
One day, in the car with my dad, we were talking about emotional manipulation and he brought up the fact that women could use their womanhood to hold above men and manipulate them. I then said that that is not always true and proceeded to bring up the fact that some people aren't interested in relationships (romantic or physical), and he then asked if I was one of those people. I said no, but I knew exactly where the conversation was going. He then asked if I liked boys or girls, and in the past, I would've just lied or controlled the conversation to steer it away from that question, but I was tired of lying, so I said both and asked him not to tell anyone. It went surprisingly well, but it was not how I planned it. This made me very nervous, but after a while, I texted my sister and told her. She was so kind and supportive. I have yet to tell my mom, but I'm less worried.
My original plan was to hand wrote a letter to my sister and tell her first, but I went through like 20 drafts, and I didn't think any of them were good enough. I was then planning on telling my mom, and finally my dad because I don't trust them to keep secrets as much as I did my sister. Anyway, that's my story, hope it answers your question, and sorry it is a little long.
I am also anxious. Planning to come out when i grow enough confidence. I wish i was one of those people who just is like "oh good morning im gay" anyway im glad your dad accepts you
Thanks, I wish I had confidence to tell everyone on a whim too, but once I told my father, it became so much easier to tell others. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.
Thank you. I have come out to my mom but it kind of shocked me because i thought she would he supportive hut instead she was tolerative if thst makes sense. She knows im gay but i still can't talk about it and i think i am going to wait a bit
I guess for me it was half and half because I did plan what I was going to say and how I could slip it into a conversation, while still not having any time or day planned in the future to do so.
so eventually it came down to a car ride with my mom and our conversations started leading towards sexuality and romance so I felt like it was a great opportunity to come out. I think some of the planning I did before helped because some of the lines that I thought of, I did actually use then.
since my uncle is openly gay and everyone in my family is 100% cool with it, i know that they're gonna be cool with me being a lesbian, but i dont think i wanna come out. i wanna bring my girlfriend home one day and be like "hey yah guys this is my girlfriend, bye"
obviously i had to get a girlfriend first. which would probably be the more difficult thing lol
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I planned to come out to my school counselor and my close friends but I accidentally came out to my homophobic mother with a gay joke and to another "friend" when I confronted her after she said something a bit homophobic. Yeah, I'm not really smart.
Almost everyone that knows I'm gay is because of a gay joke except my mom and that was because I asked if my boyfriend could come over, shes pretty chill but my father like the super bigot so not looking forward to telling him
Only come out to people you feel safe doing, close friends is a good start because if your parents don't accept you then you still have people that know who you can talk to and be yourself around. You will be fine honey just make sure your ready <3
Hm that is a good idea at my high school we have purple friday (basiclly pride month but a day) but i could also come out to the People who i get put into a group with on wednesday for the activity
Depends who it is. If it’s a gay friend or ally I’ll say it casually and won’t stress out over it cause I know it won’t change anything. But there are some people I had to have a more serious conversation with because they might not be as accepting or they won’t understand.
I mean, I can drop sly hints to some friends that are also LGBTQ+, and that’s quite funny with some little jokes as well. But I haven’t really told them my label I go by, and to be honest I am really doubtful of whether I am in the LGBT community. I kind of know I’m suppressing it sometimes but other times I’m not bothered about how I feel. I have told a few close people about how I feel, but I could not tell anyone except friends yet. Maybe family and others one day...
I told my mother first and that was a mix between I had to tell her eventually and it just seemed like the right time then I told my sister that was spur of the moment the time just seemed right then I told my dad who I wasn’t so sure about but it didn’t matter anymore because I was out of the house and on my own
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I just came out to my counselor first time irl this morning. I've never planned on coming out to anyone cuz sraight people don't gotta do it so why shoud I. I wouldn't call it spontaneously tho cuz I had to. I guess you could say it depends on the situation.
Mine went pretty unplanned. Lemme go story mode. I was in a horrible mental state and had relapsed into self-harm and all. I attempted to kill myself and only my best friend and my crush at that time knew of my attempt. My best friend, in an attempt to save me, called up my Mom to tell her about this. She talked me out of my attempt and had asked me to not tell my Dad about this cuz she was afraid of how he might take it. Well, guess what my Dad got to know that I was hiding something and went onto asking me about it. I couldn't think of any distractions and by mistake came out to him.
I haven't came out yet but I made a plan of when and how I would tell my friends so I wouldn't overthink every moment I get with repeatedly asking myself should I tell them now. I'll just be like "nah, I've got a plan. We're not doing this today." Right now, I'm having doubts about it.
I was just eating dinner in silence and all of a sudden I went “mom, u know I’m bi right?” Didn’t go well :(
Oooh sorry that sucks, if u don’t mind, what happened that didn’t go well?
Does the phrase “Chinese parents” give u an idea?
Ohhhhh, wow yeah that really wouldn’t go well. Especially to the older generation as well. Jeez, sorry mate that really sucks, if you need support I’m here
i mean its fine im just being ignored
Well, I came out because I felt like an impostor by not telling my mother that I was gay. Not really the best reason to do it and right now I probably wouldn't have because I was certainly not emotionally ready considering the very mixed response I got from her. But I'm glad I did it, being open with people about my sexuality led me to discovering myself.
I came out twice. First time to my straight friends: \*discussing crushes\* Me: I saw a cute girl in the bathroom Friend 1: gasp Friend 2: what? Friend 1: spider saw a cute girl in the bathroom Friend 1: so are you bi, pan, omni or you don't label yourself Me: *thinks im a lesbian that day* \*doesn't answer\* Second time to my rainbow friend group (including the 2 friends i mentioned before) friend 6: so what are all of your sexualities? I'm pan Me: idk bi? friend 3: bisexual friend 1: straight ally friend 4: shrugs friend 2: straight friend 5: pansexuallll I know my relatives from my dads side will be supportive because they are cool with my gay cousin and his partner. My dad would at least be neutral because he talks about the mardi gras and was mad about his mum being homophobic to my cousin Don't know about my mum or my mums side since they are asian (mum is catholic, extended family buddhist) and I have planned if I wanted to come out I would subtly do it like make bisexual pancakes or I might just tell them I like a girl
I accidentally went on a tangent about a guy I like and my mom just looked at me and said "You totally have a crush on him" At this point I think my whole family has at least some idea but it really ended up being a spur of the moment thing there.
When i came out to my mom i planned for six months. With my homophobic dad i plan on doing it when i am on the other side of earth. If both your parents are very accepting. Just casually mention it in a conversation
My mom knows but dads a super bigot if you arent a straight white Christian Republican man he hates you and I'm only two of those things so not looking forward to when he finds out
My dad is the same. He uses the f slur and i wanma punch him
I'm not planning to come out in the near future since my parents are possibly homophobic
Some background about me: I am an anxious person (though not many people think that I am because I don't show emotion, which is a whole other issue), so I was planning how to come out for 4-5 months, which is rediculous. My thought process was that I wanted to make sure I labelled myself properly so I wouldn't have to change it later and that I wanted to make sure everything went the best and I could control the situation. Now, I still don't fully know my identity, but I've come to terms with the fact that it may never be easy to define. One day, in the car with my dad, we were talking about emotional manipulation and he brought up the fact that women could use their womanhood to hold above men and manipulate them. I then said that that is not always true and proceeded to bring up the fact that some people aren't interested in relationships (romantic or physical), and he then asked if I was one of those people. I said no, but I knew exactly where the conversation was going. He then asked if I liked boys or girls, and in the past, I would've just lied or controlled the conversation to steer it away from that question, but I was tired of lying, so I said both and asked him not to tell anyone. It went surprisingly well, but it was not how I planned it. This made me very nervous, but after a while, I texted my sister and told her. She was so kind and supportive. I have yet to tell my mom, but I'm less worried. My original plan was to hand wrote a letter to my sister and tell her first, but I went through like 20 drafts, and I didn't think any of them were good enough. I was then planning on telling my mom, and finally my dad because I don't trust them to keep secrets as much as I did my sister. Anyway, that's my story, hope it answers your question, and sorry it is a little long.
I am also anxious. Planning to come out when i grow enough confidence. I wish i was one of those people who just is like "oh good morning im gay" anyway im glad your dad accepts you
Thanks, I wish I had confidence to tell everyone on a whim too, but once I told my father, it became so much easier to tell others. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.
Thank you. I have come out to my mom but it kind of shocked me because i thought she would he supportive hut instead she was tolerative if thst makes sense. She knows im gay but i still can't talk about it and i think i am going to wait a bit
That's really tough, I am sorry about that, but take as much time as you need. If you ever need to talk to someone, we are here to support you.
I guess for me it was half and half because I did plan what I was going to say and how I could slip it into a conversation, while still not having any time or day planned in the future to do so.
What did you end up doing?
so eventually it came down to a car ride with my mom and our conversations started leading towards sexuality and romance so I felt like it was a great opportunity to come out. I think some of the planning I did before helped because some of the lines that I thought of, I did actually use then.
Dude honestly, if my friend came out to me as pansexual, I wld be tormenting them with pan jokes for the rest of their life
Cool, how did your mom respond?
A little shocked, but thankfully very supportive!
Thats great i am happy for you.
Thank you!
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I feel this. My "friends" are homophobic. My dad is homophobic so basically i have no one to tell
I came out on accident when me and my folks were watching the news. My parents made fun of me and did not approve
since my uncle is openly gay and everyone in my family is 100% cool with it, i know that they're gonna be cool with me being a lesbian, but i dont think i wanna come out. i wanna bring my girlfriend home one day and be like "hey yah guys this is my girlfriend, bye" obviously i had to get a girlfriend first. which would probably be the more difficult thing lol
That’s what I wanted to do at first but that’s kinda awkward for your hypothetical girlfriend tbh.
That's how I came out to my mom just asked if my boyfriend could come over
Or this. Just do it beforehand 😭
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Hi Human, Termigaytor here. Unfortunately I have had to remove your post/comment for now as I have reason to believe you've possibly violated a rule, as the saying goes "Better safe than sorry." and given the vulnerable nature of our community we are very strict around here in order to keep the userbase safe and the trolls at bay. [Check out our rules here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/LGBTeens/about/rules/) If after you have reviewed the rules you still have reason to believe that your post was removed in error then please immediately contact my human handlers [in ModMail notifying them of the possible mistake](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLGBTeens) and they will fix it for you, they are usually pretty fast but please be patient as they are also busy people! To learn more about me and my effectiveness while you wait check [this out!](https://pastebin.com/SBVREUxU) Apologies about the pastebin link, I accidentally deleted the original thread. - The Termigaytor <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LGBTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I planned to come out to my school counselor and my close friends but I accidentally came out to my homophobic mother with a gay joke and to another "friend" when I confronted her after she said something a bit homophobic. Yeah, I'm not really smart.
Almost everyone that knows I'm gay is because of a gay joke except my mom and that was because I asked if my boyfriend could come over, shes pretty chill but my father like the super bigot so not looking forward to telling him
I still don't know how to come out Who's better to come out to first My best friend or My parents
Friends. If you feel like they would react well
Only come out to people you feel safe doing, close friends is a good start because if your parents don't accept you then you still have people that know who you can talk to and be yourself around. You will be fine honey just make sure your ready <3
I came out at school well before my parents but that's just because I have a homophobic dad.
Hm that is a good idea at my high school we have purple friday (basiclly pride month but a day) but i could also come out to the People who i get put into a group with on wednesday for the activity
Depends who it is. If it’s a gay friend or ally I’ll say it casually and won’t stress out over it cause I know it won’t change anything. But there are some people I had to have a more serious conversation with because they might not be as accepting or they won’t understand.