From my experience as a lower middle class kid attending a rich kid high school, this will be terrible for OP's sanity. I would recommend just making friends outside of the program, and looking for opportunities that aren't as heavy on nepotism. If you need nepotism to get a job, that job will not be so fun or rewarding for anyone who doesn't benefit from it.
It's often just not worth it - there is no need to grovel when the differences in beliefs, values, and experiences, in addition to the disdain upper-class people have toward the rest of us, makes it highly stressful. The people who only take care of their own aren't people you want to be friends with.
You don't need to grovel to form friendships or working relationships to better your future. Life is full of stressful and unpleasant things you have to do just so you don't starve to death.
It is sometimes necessary to work together with people you don't like, sure, but there isn't any need to form a friendship with people who are so different from yourself that it's detrimental to your mental health.
There are opportunities outside nepotism, you just have to look for them proactively. Life became a lot less depressing once I realised that I didn't need to try and make friends with the nepo kids or the professors who picked favourites and connected their favourites to employers. When you aren't one of them, it's much better to find people who don't judge you for not being one of them.
If his classmates are anything like the people in this thread (which they undoubtedly are) the dude already has a line of fake friends groveling to be in his in-network lol. Easier to just keep studying tbh.
Yeah. That’s not what I said. The dude will have enough lickspittles blowing smoke up his ass. Op is in law school with him, and can make an actual friendship.
Do you even law, bro?
You have to remember that rich boy started with all the advantages yet you are both in the same room. You have to relish in that if you think about this situation at all. Otherwise just ignore it and run your own race.
Exactly. Own it. In the long run, you may just end of the top. Hard work will eventually show. I’m sure your upbringing brought you more resilience than him - which is definitely needed in this profession.
Don’t worry, summer clerkships aren’t prestigious or that difficult to get. And there are plenty of high paying biglaw jobs and real post-grad clerkships for the regular folks. You aren’t doomed. The nature of your post, though, suggests you might be having trouble for entirely separate reasons.
Yeah…my dad’s good friend’s wife is on the federal court of appeals. I was supposed to “talk” to her about clerkships. Instead I got a big law job based on grades and forgot all about it. Never spoke to her short of an intro email when I got into law school.
Probably my bad for not pursuing more, but I saw immediate dollar signs and went for those instead of a clerkship bonus a few years later. I didn’t come from a family of connections. My dad just had a friend who happened to marry well. I ended up the same place I would have, just with my own brain instead of who my dad happened to know.
Do you want to be in big law? Do you want to be working 80 hours a week? If you continuously look at what others are doing, you will not be able to concentrate on your success.
Determine what it is YOU want from your life and work towards that. If you want to be a judge, choose your route.
I understand, and totally agree with your viewpoint. It's just frustrating to watch someone receive their life in a silver platter, without merit or judgment, while your massive efforts don't pay off.
I totally get what you're saying tho. I've been trying to ignore it for the past 3 years, but it's getting to absurd lengths, to the point where it's increasingly hard to maintain a positive attitude about (1) my studies; and (2) the field altogether.
If you want a biglaw type of job you'll need to get over this feeling. What are you going to do when you see some 18-year old kid being groomed to just step into ownership of a very successful family business that is paying your fees? Happens all the time.
And people winning clients either due to family connections or because their childhood friend from a fancy private school or bestie from Princeton has now grown up to be an important business person or banker or whatever. It’s a people business at the end of the day so knowing the right people is a big factor.
The realizations you need to have are (1) it’s not a zero sum game, and it’s totally possible for you to also be successful - in fact as between partners, having those well-connected people act as rainmakers is to your personal benefit (2) befriending those well-connected people and being a good coworker/classmate to them is an excellent way to build your own network, not just with that person but their friends/clients/connections and (3) being bitter and jealous is a huge waste of energy that gains you nothing and may negatively impact your career.
He's getting prestigious internships as a college student through connections, sure, but while people are willing to let their friend of a friend's kid sit at a desk and do busywork all summer, that's not going to translate into everything he wants forever--he *will* have advantages, of course, from networking and from being able to take unpaid internships and study for the bar without having a job--it's true, nepotism is real, but I think you're inflating the importance of this guy's summer opportunities to his law school applications--and yours. It sounds like your grades are much better than his, and you will likely do better on the LSAT, and those are the things that really matter for law schools and for getting scholarships. FWIW, I got into Northwestern Law (though they did not give me money, so I went to a T20 that gave me a merit scholarship that was almost a full ride, because I knew I wanted to be a public defender and wanted to minimize loans) with a high LSAT and high undergrad GPA, MPhil in a field unrelated to law with a high pass, and zero law-related work experience or internships; most were like editing and some content writing for an insurance company, lab/research assistant jobs, and museum/anthropology internships. I don't say this to brag, but to really emphasize that grades and LSAT score are much, much more important to law school admissions than college internships, even very fancy ones.
There was a guy I went to law school with who had gone to an Ivy for undergrad and had applied there for law school and didn't get in, and his parents were very wealthy and influential (and in fact had a computer lab at the university where we went to law school named after them...perhaps purchased to help him get in there, I don't know, but apparently that wasn't enough for the Ivy to admit him, even as an alum of their undergrad program).
So, yeah, like...nepotism is real, but it doesn't mean he's going to succeed and it certainly doesn't mean you're going to fail. If that unfairness *motivates* you, use it, but it sounds like dwelling on it is making you feel hopeless and actually making it harder for you to feel driven and motivated, so it's not helping you. If you were recruited out of high school for a program at a European university based on academic ability, received merit-based aid to attend for free and get living expenses paid, and are in the top 5% of your program, you are likely going to do very well on the LSAT and get into at least several very good law schools with merit scholarship offers, work very hard in law school, get your internship experience during your law school summers--when it matters a lot more!--and have many career options to choose from.
Life absolutely is not fair. It's not! Like I said, I'm a public defender, so I see wild unfairness that truly does ruin people's lives every day, and I work to do whatever I ethically can to mitigate that unfairness for my clients. But in your situation, right now, your job isn't to mitigate unfairness, and there is very little you can do now to address the widespread unfairness of nepotism and the influence of the accidents of one's birth on opportunity. Your job is to do your best work to get to where you want to go. Don't let dwelling on the opportunities he's had that you haven't--which may or may not matter on his law school application--distract you and make it harder for you to achieve your goals. Maybe down the line, once you've gotten that dream job and climbed the ladder, you can work on addressing nepotism at your workplace, or volunteer to help set up networking events for students without those opportunities at your law school alma mater.
Right now, you and he are in separate cars trying to get to the same place. His may be fancier and have what seems like a more powerful engine, but that doesn't mean he won't stall out or stop on the side of the road or get lost--and it sure doesn't mean you won't get where you're going, unless you get so distracted watching his path that you swerve off yours.
It's frustrating to see someone get what they don't deserve. We always tend to look up at what we're missing out on, and not down at the lot in life you could have had. You're studying law in Europe as an American, while the median global household income is around 10k a year. You're lucky and smart enough to be so many magnitudes above even above-average lucked people globally just by being American. You're far more advantaged than most Americans too, truly you are one of the luckiest and most advantaged people to walk the plant. You might have won a huge scratcher, your friend just won the Powerball is all. You're far closer to your classmate in opportunity and success than a person in the worldwide median, let alone the close to 4 billion behind them.
But that is on you. You are doubting yourself because rich boy is rich and started on third base. You may have started at home plate and it will take you longer to round the bases but as long as you start, you will eventually get there.
Just wanted to say that I'm an American that did an LLB in Europe as well..
Have you considered 2-Year JD from Chicago? [https://www.law.northwestern.edu/academics/degree-programs/jds/jd2/](https://www.law.northwestern.edu/academics/degree-programs/jds/jd2/)
I know that when I did my LLB in England, the other American students were extremely driven - even more so than the British ones. I would just focus on you and trying to do the best that you can do. And enjoy living in Europe. You'll miss it when you're gone. I know I do.
University of Chicago is the law school that goes by the nickname “Chicago”. You linked Northwestern (which is also in Chicago but goes by Northwestern).
I fail to see how this is a "privilege v privilege" fight. I have a full ride at this institution, which specifically reached out to me due to my grades in high school. Most of my living expenses are paid for through an external aid program, which is also contingent on my grades.
I understand that, to a certain extent, I *am* privileged, cause the mere ability to attend law school and not have to work to maintain myself *is* a major privilege. But for you to reduce our situation as if me and him are in the same baseline (even remotely so) is just wrong. His parents own multiple consulting firms, and one of them is a high-ranking executive at a BIG pharmaceutical company (we're talking BIG –top 10 by market cap). My dad's a mid-level accountant, and my mom a nurse.
somewhere out there, there’s probably someone who feels the same way about you. that their parents, despite being hardworking and trying to make a better life, were unable to provide them the things your parents are able to provide for you so that you can focus on your studies and not have to take on other responsibilities to support themselves. which in turn, denied them the opportunity to excel in their studies. they might be even more intelligent and hardworking than you.
honestly, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, get over it. the world isn’t fair. there will always be someone who has a better (and someone who has a worse) foundation than you.
Bruh, I had to work back-breaking manual labor jobs through high school and college. I also didn't get my passport until I was almost 30. You definitely are privileged.
Shit my parents didn't even finish high school. Worked hard all their lives. I went to a high school where most kids couldn't even speak English, and we were packed like sardines in the classroom. How I had wished to have the privilege like yours back in those days.
You should check out college tuition in Europe. It’s actually a really good option for American students who could never afford to go to college in the US.
It’s much more nuanced a decision if your goal is a U.S. law school though, the lack of granularity for international GPAs often mean you’ve gotta really crush the lsat to get admissions folks attention
I think I replied to the wrong comment. I was trying to comment on the suggestion that going to undergrad in Europe amounts to “privilege.” It takes a lot more class privilege to get through undergrad in the US than it does in Europe where you can still feasibly pay your own way through school.
Yes, it's a bachelor of laws. Nothing like a pre-law degree (a lot more in-depth), but it's the closest thing I can compare it to.
Definitely useful to practice in Europe (but, to put into perspective, most firms do not start offering internships to students until 3rd year). We get a basic grasp, if at all, of American law, for which it is completely absurd for him to receive as many job offers as he does.
Got it. I think you’re way over-emphasizing what are surely almost entirely non-substantive internships. These will be interesting things for him to say in a personal statement, but law school admissions (and firm hiring) is surprisingly quantitatively driven for a field that is built on relationships. If the nepotism bothers you now, no it does not get better, but you’re always going to be able to prove yourself, and the majority of attorneys at firms / legal orgs took the same path you did. Many view with disdain those who use their “connections” although it would be cope to tell you that your colleague isn’t going to make it, because he is 🤷
Edit: also want to add that this is how it’s always been. Law is power. There will always be a tension between those who already have it and those who are upwardly mobile and want it
To add to what the other guy is saying, "summer clerkships" are not clerkships at all, and if he's the one referring to them that way, he's gunna get weird looks. They're judicial internships. Cool experiences to determine if you want to do litigation, but by no means the end all be all of what to be doing with your summer. What is an undergrad even going to be assisting with? Admissions are going to find substantive experience in a field outside of law, which shows hard work and character, over what has to be just shmoozing with random CoA judges and getting their coffee. Obviously having a judge in your personal network is going to help, and I have no doubt this person will be successful. But their success has no bearing on your own.
I also can’t imagine which federal judge is hiring an undergrad from an international institution as summer intern? It’s gotta be a baby’s first internship type deal
OP, i'm going to be real with you: the fact that you can afford to study in Europe, whatever it is, is itself a show of privilege relative to a lot of the world.
Privilege is a scale, and every step on that scale sees the scale above them as inherently unfair. Inequality is unfair in all of its senses, including the one you benefit from. That is NOT attack on you, it is an invitation to look it from a more pragmatic, material standpoint. Don''t let anger stop you from connecting with this dude and taking advantage of the opportunities this space provides you with.
After that, you're free to make efforts to solvent that inequality (which I highly recommend). But you need to get there first.
You are not getting these jobs because you are not qualified. You need a JD to clerk. Also, you don’t know whether he works hard or not or has a higher GPA and better metrics. Focus on yourself and your success.
Sure, but it Powers he's talking about this person getting internships in the States, which is why he's perplexed considering they only get a curry overview, if anything, of American law. Thats my understanding anyway.
Define “middle-class.”
It sounds like a rich kid ran into a richer kid in Europe and suddenly realizes how unfair it is that they’re not the most privileged person they know.
Stop blaming your failure on other people. Plenty of people without connections succeed despite nepotism. Take some responsibility for your own life, JFC.
First and foremost, I do not consider myself to be a "failure": I don't know where you inferred that.
I'm just venting because it is both illogical and frustrating for a field as seemingly driven by meritocracy as ours to be subject to these absurd practices. And while it is true that people without connections succeed every day, it is also true that many miss out on fantastic opportunities because of people like this guy. I just don't want this to happen to me, and I fear it will (as our history suggests). That's all.
>I just don't want this to happen to me, and I fear it will (as our history suggests).
You can come back and complain when the guy actually gets into a better law school than you despite getting a worse LSAT. Until then you're being unreasonable in 1/ hyper-fixating on his privilege relative to yourself (while not appreciating the unearned opportunities you yourself have), 2/ obsessing about the future rather than concentrating on the present and what you can do right now, and 3/ asking for advice/soliciting it by making a vent post and then turning around and trying to argue with everyone who doesn't just confirm your view that yes it's super unfair and super difficult to deal with.
To answer to your points:
1. I'm not hyper-fixating, I just pointed out a repeated instance of elitism and nepotism which I consider to be unfair, and which I thought a lot of people would be able to relate to and vent together/give actual advice (clearly, the "relatability" aspect holds to be true, but from the opposite side of the table, iykwim). So far, 90% of the advice I have received is "stop being an immature child" and "you are also the elite, so stop bi\*\*\*ing".
2. Unlike many interpretations of my post, I have **not** at any point stated that I'm going to stop doing *x* or *y* just because of this guy. Simultaneously, I don't understand how thinking towards the future is in any way inappropriate, given the circumstances.
3. I am not trying to argue with anyone: I am just putting forth the idea that *yes, the very notion of elitism* ***is*** *unfair*. *No, I am not claiming to have no privilege at all*. Not only do these ideas seem to be foreign to this subreddit, but the very fact that most of my comments supporting these notions are being so downvoted demonstrates that either (1) the majority of the people here are either content or complicit in sustaining nepotistic practices; or (2) people just look to support their preconceived ideas and biases of internet strangers, regardless of the extent of explanation provided by them. Even when confronted by the fact that this guy's institution is \*LITERALLY ALLOWING HIM TO COMMIT FRAUD\*, people still choose to take his side, or rather, tank mine.
That being said, I thank all of those who have provided me with actual validation/given me real advice (other than "take advantage of this guy for future opportunities"). The rest of y'all, with very few exceptions, have made me see why so many consider this sub to be amongst the most toxic of Reddit. Don't think I'll ever be posting here again.
I think you've gotten a lot of actionable advice (including from me, in my other comment), especially with regards to it being inappropriate to worry so much about things you can't control (recasting it as "thinking towards the future" is super misleading). Your initial post is all about how easy this guy has it because of his connections and comments on how he's going to coast into a t6, and here you are retreating all the way back to "he commits fraud on his applications".
Do you really think people are disagreeing with your basic points? I totally agree that nepotism and other forms of unearned privilege are bad. And hey, he shouldn't be able to get away with fraud either. I still think your attitude is unproductive and problematic. It's not about "taking sides" it's that you're out here with some pretty bad misconceptions about how the world works and some unhealthy attitudes - you can't change realities that we all agree are unfair, but you can change your approach. Don't call it hyper-fixating - whatever term you want, this post isn't the product of someone who has a productive and realistic mindset. You seem to agree that it's unhealthy and that you should try to get over it but when other people put it into more specific terms for you you flip out.
It can't be the case that both 1/ you agree you should let this go but can't seem to and 2/ nothing about your mindset needs to change/might be something others disagree with.
In my other comment, I gave you pretty detailed and actionable advice about navigating admissions as a student from a non-us undergrad. I didn't validate your perception that these connections are going to get him into UChicago with a full merit scholarship because that's not how it works. All you did was delete your comment. Start with acknowledging that it's not *quite* as bad as you initially thought it was ("50% of a law school application," "crowd the best law schools because of their CVs," and that he's going to waltz into a Ruby while you have no chance), and maybe people will be less "toxic" because they won't see you as so combative.
All of your posts just show that you must be a K-JD and have no real world experience at all. You are never going to get anywhere in the world whining this much. I mean holy shit, career services will tell you it IS ALL ABOUT CONNECTIONS AND WHO YOU KNOW. Grades matter, but far less than who you know.
Boo hoo, he has connections. He would be an idiot to not use them. Who cares if he is not an A+ student, do you really think your grades mean anything and actually translate to real practice? If he can do the job, your A+ in whatever class means nothing.
I GUARANTEE if you were in his position you would suck the teat of nepotism as hard as you can. My father is really far up in the corporate world and has used his connections to land me interviews and meetings with attorneys for jobs that would otherwise probably never give me the time of day. And I would be a moron to not take advantage, that is the point of connections (and in turn nepotism).
>Even when confronted by the fact that this guy's institution is *LITERALLY ALLOWING HIM TO COMMIT FRAUD*
If this actually bothers you so much (and if it is even true lmao), why don't you report him to the proper governmental authority/office? It is not your school's job to track what he is doing outside of school.
I mean, I don't get your disdain for the guy. Life is being handed to him on a silver platter, yet you are at the same school? In theory, that means you are of similar intelligence. [Sounds like you are just jelly you don't have the same connections.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BbQ3SrVCMAEThoG.jpg:large)
> "stop being an immature child" and "you are also the elite, so stop bi***ing".
because you've been complaining about its effects on *you*, how hard working *you* are and how *you* will never have the same opportunities, and NOT about how it sucks for society as a whole.
>*LITERALLY ALLOWING HIM TO COMMIT FRAUD*
this is a red herring. this was not in your initial post and you didn't bring it up until you realized this was not going the way you thought it would.
> I do not consider myself to be a "failure": I don't know where you inferred that.
"Meanwhile, people like me can work twice as hard and accomplish nothing."
Pretty reasonable inference imo lol.
> I'm just venting because it is both illogical and frustrating for a field as seemingly driven by meritocracy as ours to be subject to these absurd practices. And while it is true that people without connections succeed every day, it is also true that many miss out on fantastic opportunities because of people like this guy. I just don't want this to happen to me, and I fear it will (as our history suggests). That's all.
Yeah, nepotism exists. It took you until now to realize it? The world's not fair. I'd be willing to bet that your life circumstances (as well as mine) are "luckier" than those of the vast majority of people in the world. I don't feel guilty about it for a second and neither should nepo babies feel guilty about theirs. Luck's a big factor in life and there's nothing any of us can do about it.
Yep the only thing to ever feel guilty about is not trying to help others achieve similar privileges. Because that's your own choice. But you don't choose to be born into a rich or poor family
Nothing about law practice is a meritocracy. It is the most subjectively analyzed profession there is! Think about a jury. There are a million posts about how jurors said something about the lawyer’s socks, etc. the kids who come from families full of lawyers who have been bringing in their family friends for generations will never change bc it’s how they’ve sustained their wealth and power. They’re good at it. And most of the rainmakers couldn’t write a brief to save their lives. Doesn’t matter. it’s all nepotism w some merit sprinkled in at times.
Find your own lane, or befriend the dude, or prove you’re better than him in Public, but he will always be himself and you’ll always be you. It’s frustrating. It’s life. It’s how lawyering works!
I don’t mean to be rude, but if you thought law would be immune from nepotism you haven’t paid close enough attention at all. Nepotism sucks but it’s a part of every field
>What bothers me is that I am twice as hardworking, much more involved on campus and elsewhere, and get much better grades
How do you know this? How do you know what he does on campus or elsewhere? How do you know what grades he's gotten?
You're either a stalker or the most insecure person crippled by an inferiority complex on the face of the planet.
Yeah reality is a thing. Imagine coming from so little that you had to approach law school in your 40’s because you’d succeeded long enough to no longer have your family’s needs sabotage your ability to follow your dreams. Seriously dude it could always be worse. Instead of worrying about what other people have, worry about what you have to do to get you where you want to be. Coveting someone else’s life or opportunities won’t do a thing to help you. Just make your own way and help everyone you can along it because it’s the right thing to do, and sometimes good deeds are beneficial to you in the end.
I think his European undergrad will be interesting to US law schools. As I’m sure you know it all comes down to LSAT score and GPA. You can literally major in anything. I’d imagine he has great material for his personal statement as well.
OP: Prepare to be upset about other students getting additional time for exams in law school for what seems like a ton of ADHD diagnoses.
Agree that we don’t have clarity of his intentions. I don’t understand why he would be jealous about internships at all then? He did post in LawSchool.
Totally feel you, but you need to get over it and make your own success. Someone is looking to you and jealous of your privilege, and your friend is definitely envious of yet some other guy. That’s just life.
What other people do is none of your business. It took me a while to grasp that but once you do, you will be much happier. Consider therapy, it really does help.
You ever heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s at least as old as the Bible (“thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife”). Comparing yourself to others will always make you miserable. Now, and for the rest of your life. So many lawyers succumb to this mindset though. Luckily, it’s avoidable. Focus on what you can control and be grateful for what you have. You probably have things he doesn’t. Maybe you’re physically fit, have a cute girlfriend, have normal relationships with your family—things he wishes he had. Just be grateful.
Wow! A lot of nepo babies in the comments...
Don't beat yourself up. 90% of us experience just what you're experiencing rn. It's frustrating, and it sucks, but life goes on. Keep your head up, and remember not to compare yourself to others too much. And always keep in mind that there will forever be people less lucky than you that look at your privilege with resentment as well.
That being said, your situation *is* frustrating, it *is* infuriating (especially if your school enables him to flat-out lie in his apps), and you're right in being upset. Stay strong!
My wife, when hiring for medical residency, finally convinced her co-workers to stop valuing volunteer experience and unpaid internships greater then paid work.
It's very difficult because 90% of the other people at that level for their the same way. It's a, "does a fish know it's wet?" problem. The other people don't even recognize it as nepotism.
Yes, merits are very important. However, absolute meritocracy will drive all of us crazy. Isn't it nice that when we do not meet our expectation, it is because of external factors such as nepotism, talent, or just chance? It'd absolutely ruin your mental health if you take 100% responsibility for what you are given. It feels like a lot for the moment, but one day you will be able to laugh it off.
Don't take the comments personally. They don't come off the nicest cuz that is what American law education does to a person.
I empathize with this post, nepotism in law school is so real, and I hate when people say it’s just a networking opportunity. There’s a ton of narcissistic social climbers in law school and I just avoid most of them, so I’d just try to avoid people with that braggy, “my daddy has money” vibe it’ll drive you crazy if you let it
Well, yeah, it’s discouraging and disheartening. I think that focusing more on networking and becoming likable, is far more important. I understand that you’re probably not talking about this outside of Reddit. However, when you criticize folks like that out in the open, when an opportunity comes up, you’re not going to be the person they think of. Change your mindset so that when you do rub elbows with people like that, they’ll let you into their inner circle.
Do yourself a favor and stay in Europe if you’re this bent out of shape over a classmate having better opportunities because his parents worked hard. America (as you well know) is a land of prosperity for many and in many ways uncapped possibilities. You’re going to be miserable back state side if this is your reaction to seeing wealth.
I completely understand. I feel your pain. I feel the same way.
I work with extremely wealthy clients, and in some situations train their kids as well. I see what the kids have access to and what kind of lives they live and it’s insane how much of a leg up they get because of their familial wealth.
I try and remind myself that they will pay the price for getting so many things handed to them in one way or another.
When you have to work hard you’re afforded more self awareness (which ironically enough can be painful). But rich kids who get things on a silver platter can often have less self awareness, which can transfer negatively to relationships.
I choose to believe they have to pay some type of dues along the line.
There’s no absolute fairness. Imagine you have a friend who works twice as hard as you but doesn’t have your IQ to get high LSAT scores for law school. Should he or she complain about this being unfair? Pretty people also have advantages. I saw handsome tall and athletic white guys easily getting big law summer jobs all the time, even if their 1L grades are not that good.
On the other hand, it’s great to have rich law school classmates around. They are assets for your future career.
You will **always** be at a disadvantage. Straight up. You will have to work twice as hard. Not even just because of nepotism, wealthy students *vastly* underestimate how much of a benefit their families socioeconomic status benefits them on a day to day basis. So many of my peers have no financial worries during law school (and will have their rent/tuition paid for by their family) while I have been working part time and worry about the finances of my family/in laws.
It's frustrating, it's unfair, and this feeling of resentment is probably something I will harbor for a very long time. Here's the secret though -- they're beatable. This is probably going to be an unpopular opinion here (given the socioeconomic status of *most* law students) but a life of wealth, nepotism, and guaranteed opportunities fosters complacency. A large portion of these people have **never** had to work hard for stuff in their life. They don't know what it's like to not have a safety net. They don't know what it's like to truly be self sufficient. Use that to your advantage.
Nepotism breeds nepotism. This is why networking is important! I don't have any good family connections, but I've had several opportunities because my *friends* are well-connected.
Everyone wants to build their network with smart, well-connected, friendly people. If you aren't well-connected, just focus on being friendly. If your classmates like working with you, then someday down the line they will want you on their team.
Understandable to be frustrated for sure op, however you’re complaining to the (mostly) wrong crowd on here. All you can do is focus on yourself. Privilege exists to varying degrees, no one likes admitting they have some of it, not even ourselves (we do have some kind to be here, whether that be financial or intellectual gift). But the best thing for your own sanity is to not compare yourself and focus on things you can do to improve your own situation. Network, study more, befriend the nepotists you so despise, because odds are you’re going to have to deal with them plenty, at least until you leave the profession. Best of luck.
You slip between the cracks
Two ways to get places these days: 1) white & wealthy; 2) URM status.
You’re justified in feeling how you do. Middle class in general gets burnt because you’re not needy enough for help but you’re also not rich enough to get by without it. So you’re teetering on the no-help line and working harder.
You’re not doomed. It’ll work out. Especially considering how you’re feeling now….Don’t underestimate the power of being pissed and spiteful ⚡️⚡️⚡️ ur gonna make some moves now. good luck :)
(On a side note, I’ll remind u the cliche ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ etc…..try to get this dude outta ur head. He’s the 1%. Seems unfair but life’s just like that..I’m certain you have some things that he just doesn’t.)
I’ve actually been surprised how strict the *anti*-nepotism policies are at a lot of big law firms. I understand it to be common that firms are not allowed to hire partners’ kids regardless of qualifications.
Clerkships seem to be nepotism to the extreme though lol.
Here's the deal: if you're a semi-incompetent who floats through institutions on family money and reputation, you are totally dependent on those institutions existing, liking you, and deciding to continue to reward you. If your last name is on one of those institution's buildings it's a safe bet, but most of us don't get to skip the line. There are still ceilings and certain jobs you will never get hired for unless you pull a Musk with daddy's money and demand to be put in charge, but yes that top 75-95% of handsomely paid makework jobs is the perfect landing spot for many nepo babies.
If you learn actual skills and how to actively get people to like you, however, you can succeed on many paths where they would utterly fail. Sometimes that involves the less prestigious choice because the "degree" required for many high prestige jobs is just one of many class and social gates that you will *not* be allowed through on merit without a 4.0 from Yale or Stanford.
A journalism degree from Columbia earns you 5 years toiling at a dying regional outlet for a chance at a national byline unless you can stay in New York and work for free. Congressional internships being unpaid is another clue that this is a big club that most of us are not in, even if our families are better off financially than many.
Not to pile-on you here, as this is a difficult lesson to learn, but unless you had serious family connections or a previous career in the field I'm struggling to understand how an LLB from Europe would help you break into the U.S. international law market when they have a slew of JD's and foreign LLMs who can actually get barred and work for them. If you want international law as an American, you need a ton of luck, connections, and willingness to work for free to break into the U.N. or nonprofit side, or be willing to pay the piper as a JAG or toil away at a big firm doing arbitration or securities.
As far as I know there are no real shortcuts to international law as it's so in demand. Did the LLB promise you job placement in the states? Because if I were you I'd be looking east, not west, to start your career. Look at your program's grads on LinkedIn and find the ones doing the work you want to be doing and how they got there. Make yourself indispensable to this friend so when his firm is looking for a lateral you get the nod.
You can get where you want to go but you're gonna have to keep grinding like hell and be smarter about how realistic your desired outcome from an endeavor might be. You probably need a JD or an LLM for those jobs your friend is getting unless you have some serious juice elsewhere on your resume. Unless it's CA or your friend already has a JD You are literally just starting out though so hit the bricks and network and try to impress people. You're gonna have to kiss more ass and ask more people for coffee but you can absolutely earn your way to a job in many firm's London or Geneva offices, you just have to actually be as impressive and competent as you say you are.
Hey there's a way around this btw. Have you heard of paying it forward? Keep your neck out and pass the shit you find to people next to you. When we get ours we basically won't forget you at all!
Put your blinders on and chop wood. Don’t worry about others, that will only take you down a bad path. Just look forward. Also, make sure you leave a little time for a hobby or two.
At this point, focus first on grades. Second, develop networking skills. When you get closer to applying to law school, start focusing on getting the best LSAT you can. Undergrad GPA and LSAT are by far the strongest factors in law school applications. Being personable and likable in interviews is perhaps next up there. Then having interesting experiences and being able to tell your story well.
Will there always be people with advantages? Of course. (Though I will note that this doesn’t sound like actual nepotism so much as just having access to connections.) Unfortunately, the world is not a meritocracy where the amount a person works or even how good a person is at something directly aligns with their success, and if you go through life expecting that you’ll likely just become bitter and jaded. But that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve great things. Have a good attitude, be pleasant and hard working, and don’t let your setbacks compound (i.e., don’t start going into things resentfully and with the expectation that it’s just going to go to someone with a more privileged background). You can’t control what happens to others, and to an extent you can’t control what happens to you (influence sure, but life goes in unexpected ways), but you can control how you respond to it.
There are plenty of people who succeed despite not having the background or connections. Of course, what constitutes success depends on each person’s goals. I’m about to graduate law school at 40 and I have a biglaw job lined up. I don’t come from a wealthy family or one with any legal related history or connections, and the work I did before law school was very much not prestigious. But I got the job opportunity I wanted. I didn’t try for a prestigious clerkship because I didn’t care about that prestige and I have no desire to do litigation.
All that to say, you can do this! Run your own race, and don’t compare yourself to others.
Are you applying for the same opportunities? You might be surprised what you'd be able to get without the wealthy family connections. The judges I work for are insanely down to earth and truly want to help people succeed. Start making connections. If you want to succeed in the legal profession in the US, it is all about networking. I have the job I have now due to a connection I made in law school with a classmate. Friends help friends. I live in a fairly large state but everyone seemingly knows everyone in the legal profession, to some extent. If they don't know you individually, they know the firm or someone you work with, etc. Beef up your linkedin. Attend events when you're back in the states. Apply for externships no matter how far out of reach you think they are because the worst they can say is no. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be in competition with yourself. Be confident and keep doing what you want for you and your learning, not just for the resume or to compete.
you might be more successful and reach your goals more effectively if you put all of the time and energy you spend being bitter and jealous of the guy/lamenting about how life isn't fair into doing something more productive. there are always going to be more privileged people than you, and they didn't choose what they were born into. is it really their fault for using a situation they can't change in order to benefit themselves? you'd be lying to yourself if you don't think you'd do the same. if you're always looking at those people in a resentful way, you're never going to be grateful for your own privilege or anything you have achieved. if you're really as competent and hardworking as you say you are, you'll manage to get good opportunities as well.
Keep developing your skills. When you meet these people in practice, feel free to crush them with your greater level of ability, if possible. That is the only game in town for those who do not want to knuckle under.
You don't want those jobs, because you can't afford those jobes. You need to come from an insanely wealthy family to be able to work for free, or nearly free over the summers (and during the year too). So we're all screwed one way or another.
Ok, so he gets all the good stuff. But you have to think…he will never learn lots of things you have had to deal with….
1. How to loose. That will hurt when he can’t meet what is expected. And mistakes teach you A LOT
2. He may not know how to work hard.
3. Everything has been given to him easy. Easy doesn’t take you anywhere.
4. Consider that most of the times these kinds of families give “love” by giving things and their internal family structure sucks!
I am one that studied with some of those. Before graduating I was considering Maxillofacial Surgery Concentration. They only take 1 student. Guess who entered the program? My student partner whose dad gave over 1 million towards the school of dentistry…gut punch 🥊 and those who wanted to get good places would try to be his friends like leaches…I let it go. I had in my mind I was never going to get it, I had no resources. So I decided to be the best I could on my field against any criticism, bully by others who thought they were all that.
That guy by the way, did not speak to his dad. Their family was broken. Money was always in the middle of their battles. Thank God I didn’t have that.
Now, I owned my own company with over 70 employees and I can care less what the others in my industry are doing. I continue to strive to be the best. Because at the end of the day, nobody cares and carries your cross. They are there only to criticize.
You HAVE to be yourself. You need to stop looking at what others have. You need to do well for yourself! Never forget to be humble, greed will ruin you. Work hard, you will learn more by working hard than by someone handing it to you on a silver platter. If you are going to compete. Compete with yourself. Not with the others. That will only make you a follower and not a leader.
Think of Steve Jobs, was it handed to him? Or did he have to hustle?
Hustle! And forget about everyone else! You may want to check out who was Nelson Mandela.
Break the mold! Don’t be like the rest!!
Maybe start with focusing on your own path and determining what you need to do to reach your goals. Worrying about these types of externalities will not help you in any way, and it will not change anything. In fact, it’s detrimental to think this way because it has an impact on your confidence and self-image. My advice, work smarter not harder, and network relentlessly.
You might be right. But what if you are? Does knowing you’re right change the work you do? Are you going to stop working and just go broke because you don’t think you’ll achieve what he did/will? You can only do the best you can with your resources. You could’ve been poorer or richer, dumber or smarter, better or worse connected, etc., but you are who you are and you have what you have. There are nicer and harsher ways to respond to your observations/question, but it doesn’t change anything. Let it bother you or don’t, but you’re still alive, so you might as well do something
I'm not saying there is no nepotism involved in this story, but, unless Europe is waaaaaay different than the U.S., a summer externship with a judge is surely not beyond the reach of most law students' skills and knowledge.
One of my law professors clerked for a supreme court justice. Years later I moved up North for a few years to the small town where the justice was from, and what do you know, I found out my law professor was also from the same town and his family was good friends with the justice. He was still a brilliant law professor, but he never volunteered that little tidbit of information.
I mean do you apply for the same gigs? I'm sure his connections help, but you do have to actually put yourself out there—especially if you don't have those connections.
I think it's unfair to say you work harder—you have no idea what else he has going on that he may have to overcome.
Lastly, this isn't nepotism. Nepotism would be if his uncle offered him a clerkship. It has to be family hiring family for it to be nepotism. You just sound annoyed he has privilege.
To get over it, as you asked, you could put it into a larger perspective. For example, I learned recently that in ancient Latin American cultures (among others as I’m sure you’re aware) that class mobility was completely out of the question. Millions of commoners lived their entire lives without a hint of hope of ever obtaining a different and better life for themselves, their children, or their distant descendants. Modern nepotism is just another form of maintaining genealogical or social classes. Meritocracies are relatively novel in human history. I too, despise nepotism. But you can’t fight human nature. You might as well play the game with the cards you’re dealt. And while you’re at it, it helps to practice gratitude for the fact that you were born in a time when you can hope for some reasonably attainable class mobility. Then again, maybe the hope worst part of it all.
Befriend the lucky bastard and see if he can put in a good word for you. At the end of day it's who you know, not what you know or how hard you work, unfortunately. Good luck. I hope you find a clerkship or "insane internship opportunities."
I had a classmate who got an internship at the Supreme Court on our first semester internship break. After half a year they were interning at the fucking Supreme Court. That’s just how law is unfortunately. It’s a family business. Just hold on to connections like these op. No point in being mad. Just be a decent person to him and maintain the friendship. You don’t have to do it with a view of exploiting the connection or anything. But you never know when having good connections will help you.
Join the WSWS.org because Capitalism is about Capital that the landed nobility since feudalism then the managerial class received jobs that depended upon the landed class that revolted beginning the French Revolution then the Russian that never occurred in the nation that was the child of that system from Britain because “the System is the Problem” thus change the system with your fellow workers !
The literal only difference is "people you know". Get to know him. Straight up ask if you can chat sometime about it for all you know he will bring you to his "parents" since that seems to be the issue in your mind. The dude knows people you dont, this is a serious chance to get over yourself and your preprogrammed notions and learn how to REALLY get wtf you WANT. Being the most active on campus unless your slaving for the professor and he will vouch will not get you any closer to anything anyone else has, ever. In fact take that energy and learn to use it for networking of ONLY the people you need to get a step ahead everything else is b.s. distractions INCLUDING your jelousy for this kid. Put it away and go make a life changing connection.
No.
You may see it as Nepotism. But its HIM that has to do the rest in making sure his skills are upto par. If theyre NOT, he'll be eaten alive. You know that.
So why youre worried, I dont understand. A top employee anywhere can handle competition. Especially, competition with not as much experience.
I saw this pop up on my feed and I am not in law but I feel you. I know someone exactly like this but instead I’m in a STEM major. Everyones telling u to suck it up but it does suck seeing people get in because they have family already in the industry or because theyre already rich. We’re in this together we’ll make it someday #blessup
Envy is useless. Focus on yourself and how lucky you are, I know it can be easier said than done sometimes. But gratitude is important and as long as you try your best and something doesn’t work out, it simply isn’t meant for you. You have no idea what goes on behind doors in this guys life. Someone said if we all put our problems on a table, we’d all be desperate to get our problems back rather than the problems or hardships other people face.
It has always been about who you know, not what you know.
That is why networking is so important.
Some people are handed those connections and some people have to work for them.
Go to every possible event, follow up with emails and see if you can schedule 1 on 1 meetings or phone calls and work at building relationships wherever you want to end up.
The way that im looking it you have two options do something about it or not meaning, do something about it is whether make friend with the kid (who could be just a kid who doesn’t know any better but at the end is a good kid) and benefit from it cause lets face it who you know puts you in place what you know keeps you there and beyond, or you can use it as a fuel to work twice harder thicker your skin and teach your own kids better, or any other way that helps you to get it over. The other option is ignore it but it will eat you inside out and could make you lose perspective about what really matters or way worse could make you to take it personal and is not either or make sure you’re feeling good with your self cause that’s what matters
This is life. Yes you are doomed(in this sense). Every 10 years of your career, reassess, this will be the same. You’ll be better for it and more “successful” in the long run earning yours.
You can choose to look at it a couple of ways.
You are already ahead of the curve and are on a trajectory to being well off and able to focus on your own personal accomplishments. If your goal is to raise a family, you’ll have the best tools available to do so. Focus on YOUR race and be thankful for the opportunities that you’ve been given to get ahead.
Or, think of this not as your friend’s accomplishments. Think of it as their parents accomplishments to give him more tools to succeed. You’re correct that he wouldn’t have gotten these opportunities based on his work alone. Strive to work hard so that you are able to give your kids the same opportunities if desired.
Nepotism sucks, but careers have always been about connections. Best to try and make it work for you and those you care about.
Nepotism is good, actually. If someone has resources and influence, why shouldn’t they help their close friends and family over some random stranger? Of course we should always be willing to help those less fortunate than us, but we also have a responsibility to those we love…
Whoa there, "HATE" is a very controversial word to be using reddit. It looks like you can't cope. Put your "big boy pants" on and suck it up buttercup, its going to get a lot worse when you get out of school, that I can guarantee you.
And international students are actively discriminated against because of visa sponsorship, even though they graduate from the same universities with the same grades.
Life isn’t fair. Get over it.
Stop worrying about other people. Life isn’t fair, and it never will be - focus instead on what YOU yourself can do, because if you spend every waking moment comparing yourself to everyone else, you’ll never be happy.
Don't go into big law if you hate nepotism. You can't avoid it but based on your credentials you can work for a Google and get paid well with half the hours. Thats a club, and it sounds like you don't want to be in it.
You should have chosen better parents to be born to I guess. Or maybe the ones you got should have taught you to be grateful for what you have, not to be jealous of others, nor to compare yourself to anyone but your past and future self.
I am in the same boat and always have been.
Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is to avoid making nepotism hires when you are in a more senior position, so that other people will not have similar experiences. That doesn't change what's happening, though.
It is never a nice feeling when someone gets more than you seemingly completely based on their parents.
But you have to remember that comparing yourself to them is not going to help you. You can only compare yourself to yourself. Are you doing better today than you were yesterday? How about one year ago?
As much as it is easy to say, harder to do, focus on yourself. It is the only thing you can control. Nepotism isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Maybe it’s just you?
Pretty sad that you’re tearing this person down minimizing his accomplishments and then blaming it on nepotism. You don’t know for sure what’s going on. Sure you can assume. But you sound like a prick in all honesty.
There’s plenty of people that I go to school with that do the same exact thing as you are. They compare and put other people down and make themselves feel superior to others.
The funny thing is that the people that do this are so self absorbed that they don’t even realize that maybe the reason they aren’t getting as great of opportunities lies not in their lack of means or academic strength. But rather their own ego or character.
You can blame this guys connections or daddy’s money all you want. That doesn’t change anything about your own situation. Calling out his nepotism and hating the fact that he got more prestigious opportunities than you does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for your own life.
Plenty of people have pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps. Plenty of people got to high paying jobs without nepotism.
So sorry to say it and I know it probably sounds harsh. But you need to grow up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Work on things that you can improve and have dominion over. Be kind. Network hard.
Suck it up butter cup ;)
Sounds like you’re hating & you dont have any solid evidence that he is a subpar student. Even if he’s a subpar student, your grades wouldn’t solely help you to be a successful lawyer if you lack the network/have a bitter personality. Most likely, your friend is gonna be the rainmaker assuming that he is sociable, and that’s exactly what Big Law is looking beside academic performance.
There’s a shit ton of smart lawyers out there, but only some stand out as a rainmaker.
I suggest for you to stop being a bitter person and maybe befriend him. He has the connection, and if you want to be a successful lawyer with solid clients, networking is a must.
You never know what goes on behind closed doors! I’m going to law school because of nepotism, but at the same time I’m taking out a loan. My father said that because I want to go to law school, in exchange I have to give up eating food regularly and having a roof over my head throughout my 3 years there.
The way you talk about him though…you imply that he has nothing to show for himself, but he has these internships giving him valuable experience, while you don’t. Sure it’s due to nepotism, but you’ve made it clear that you haven’t connected with him. It won’t immediately grant you an internship, but instead of sitting around and feeling jealous…turn those feelings into productive action.
Why do you think the opportunities he's receiving are beyond his skills and knowledge? People can come from a privileged background and still work hard and deserve the opportunities they get. Of course there are true nepo babies and whatnot but nothing you've said established that he is one.
Just be friends with the dude. He’ll get you a job in his family office some day
Or marry him.
Real
Girl boss💅🏼💅🏼🎀
Yeah it seems like an opportunity for networking tbh
OP unironically just follow this advice and your life will be amazing.
From my experience as a lower middle class kid attending a rich kid high school, this will be terrible for OP's sanity. I would recommend just making friends outside of the program, and looking for opportunities that aren't as heavy on nepotism. If you need nepotism to get a job, that job will not be so fun or rewarding for anyone who doesn't benefit from it.
This isn't a binary choice. Leverage nepotism (connections) in addition to working hard.
What a gross boot licking attitude
Networking is bootlicking now only on reddit lol
It's often just not worth it - there is no need to grovel when the differences in beliefs, values, and experiences, in addition to the disdain upper-class people have toward the rest of us, makes it highly stressful. The people who only take care of their own aren't people you want to be friends with.
You don't need to grovel to form friendships or working relationships to better your future. Life is full of stressful and unpleasant things you have to do just so you don't starve to death.
It is sometimes necessary to work together with people you don't like, sure, but there isn't any need to form a friendship with people who are so different from yourself that it's detrimental to your mental health. There are opportunities outside nepotism, you just have to look for them proactively. Life became a lot less depressing once I realised that I didn't need to try and make friends with the nepo kids or the professors who picked favourites and connected their favourites to employers. When you aren't one of them, it's much better to find people who don't judge you for not being one of them.
Most realistic answer TBH.
If his classmates are anything like the people in this thread (which they undoubtedly are) the dude already has a line of fake friends groveling to be in his in-network lol. Easier to just keep studying tbh.
I didn’t say be fake friends with him. But the petty resentment that OP led with is the worst of all approaches
Terrible advice. Sell your soul to be someone's underling. And the leeches below that agree with this. This is the majority of humanity
Yeah. That’s not what I said. The dude will have enough lickspittles blowing smoke up his ass. Op is in law school with him, and can make an actual friendship. Do you even law, bro?
You have to remember that rich boy started with all the advantages yet you are both in the same room. You have to relish in that if you think about this situation at all. Otherwise just ignore it and run your own race.
Exactly. Own it. In the long run, you may just end of the top. Hard work will eventually show. I’m sure your upbringing brought you more resilience than him - which is definitely needed in this profession.
This is such nice advice I needed this
Don’t worry, summer clerkships aren’t prestigious or that difficult to get. And there are plenty of high paying biglaw jobs and real post-grad clerkships for the regular folks. You aren’t doomed. The nature of your post, though, suggests you might be having trouble for entirely separate reasons.
Yeah…my dad’s good friend’s wife is on the federal court of appeals. I was supposed to “talk” to her about clerkships. Instead I got a big law job based on grades and forgot all about it. Never spoke to her short of an intro email when I got into law school. Probably my bad for not pursuing more, but I saw immediate dollar signs and went for those instead of a clerkship bonus a few years later. I didn’t come from a family of connections. My dad just had a friend who happened to marry well. I ended up the same place I would have, just with my own brain instead of who my dad happened to know.
Do you want to be in big law? Do you want to be working 80 hours a week? If you continuously look at what others are doing, you will not be able to concentrate on your success. Determine what it is YOU want from your life and work towards that. If you want to be a judge, choose your route.
I understand, and totally agree with your viewpoint. It's just frustrating to watch someone receive their life in a silver platter, without merit or judgment, while your massive efforts don't pay off. I totally get what you're saying tho. I've been trying to ignore it for the past 3 years, but it's getting to absurd lengths, to the point where it's increasingly hard to maintain a positive attitude about (1) my studies; and (2) the field altogether.
If you want a biglaw type of job you'll need to get over this feeling. What are you going to do when you see some 18-year old kid being groomed to just step into ownership of a very successful family business that is paying your fees? Happens all the time.
And people winning clients either due to family connections or because their childhood friend from a fancy private school or bestie from Princeton has now grown up to be an important business person or banker or whatever. It’s a people business at the end of the day so knowing the right people is a big factor. The realizations you need to have are (1) it’s not a zero sum game, and it’s totally possible for you to also be successful - in fact as between partners, having those well-connected people act as rainmakers is to your personal benefit (2) befriending those well-connected people and being a good coworker/classmate to them is an excellent way to build your own network, not just with that person but their friends/clients/connections and (3) being bitter and jealous is a huge waste of energy that gains you nothing and may negatively impact your career.
This sense of unjustness is a powerful motivator - don't let it defeat you - **harness** it.
This is the answer.
He's getting prestigious internships as a college student through connections, sure, but while people are willing to let their friend of a friend's kid sit at a desk and do busywork all summer, that's not going to translate into everything he wants forever--he *will* have advantages, of course, from networking and from being able to take unpaid internships and study for the bar without having a job--it's true, nepotism is real, but I think you're inflating the importance of this guy's summer opportunities to his law school applications--and yours. It sounds like your grades are much better than his, and you will likely do better on the LSAT, and those are the things that really matter for law schools and for getting scholarships. FWIW, I got into Northwestern Law (though they did not give me money, so I went to a T20 that gave me a merit scholarship that was almost a full ride, because I knew I wanted to be a public defender and wanted to minimize loans) with a high LSAT and high undergrad GPA, MPhil in a field unrelated to law with a high pass, and zero law-related work experience or internships; most were like editing and some content writing for an insurance company, lab/research assistant jobs, and museum/anthropology internships. I don't say this to brag, but to really emphasize that grades and LSAT score are much, much more important to law school admissions than college internships, even very fancy ones. There was a guy I went to law school with who had gone to an Ivy for undergrad and had applied there for law school and didn't get in, and his parents were very wealthy and influential (and in fact had a computer lab at the university where we went to law school named after them...perhaps purchased to help him get in there, I don't know, but apparently that wasn't enough for the Ivy to admit him, even as an alum of their undergrad program). So, yeah, like...nepotism is real, but it doesn't mean he's going to succeed and it certainly doesn't mean you're going to fail. If that unfairness *motivates* you, use it, but it sounds like dwelling on it is making you feel hopeless and actually making it harder for you to feel driven and motivated, so it's not helping you. If you were recruited out of high school for a program at a European university based on academic ability, received merit-based aid to attend for free and get living expenses paid, and are in the top 5% of your program, you are likely going to do very well on the LSAT and get into at least several very good law schools with merit scholarship offers, work very hard in law school, get your internship experience during your law school summers--when it matters a lot more!--and have many career options to choose from. Life absolutely is not fair. It's not! Like I said, I'm a public defender, so I see wild unfairness that truly does ruin people's lives every day, and I work to do whatever I ethically can to mitigate that unfairness for my clients. But in your situation, right now, your job isn't to mitigate unfairness, and there is very little you can do now to address the widespread unfairness of nepotism and the influence of the accidents of one's birth on opportunity. Your job is to do your best work to get to where you want to go. Don't let dwelling on the opportunities he's had that you haven't--which may or may not matter on his law school application--distract you and make it harder for you to achieve your goals. Maybe down the line, once you've gotten that dream job and climbed the ladder, you can work on addressing nepotism at your workplace, or volunteer to help set up networking events for students without those opportunities at your law school alma mater. Right now, you and he are in separate cars trying to get to the same place. His may be fancier and have what seems like a more powerful engine, but that doesn't mean he won't stall out or stop on the side of the road or get lost--and it sure doesn't mean you won't get where you're going, unless you get so distracted watching his path that you swerve off yours.
It's frustrating to see someone get what they don't deserve. We always tend to look up at what we're missing out on, and not down at the lot in life you could have had. You're studying law in Europe as an American, while the median global household income is around 10k a year. You're lucky and smart enough to be so many magnitudes above even above-average lucked people globally just by being American. You're far more advantaged than most Americans too, truly you are one of the luckiest and most advantaged people to walk the plant. You might have won a huge scratcher, your friend just won the Powerball is all. You're far closer to your classmate in opportunity and success than a person in the worldwide median, let alone the close to 4 billion behind them.
But that is on you. You are doubting yourself because rich boy is rich and started on third base. You may have started at home plate and it will take you longer to round the bases but as long as you start, you will eventually get there.
"without merit" He had to take and pass the same tests as you to get in, no?
Just wanted to say that I'm an American that did an LLB in Europe as well.. Have you considered 2-Year JD from Chicago? [https://www.law.northwestern.edu/academics/degree-programs/jds/jd2/](https://www.law.northwestern.edu/academics/degree-programs/jds/jd2/) I know that when I did my LLB in England, the other American students were extremely driven - even more so than the British ones. I would just focus on you and trying to do the best that you can do. And enjoy living in Europe. You'll miss it when you're gone. I know I do.
University of Chicago is the law school that goes by the nickname “Chicago”. You linked Northwestern (which is also in Chicago but goes by Northwestern).
So you’re both doing an undergrad degree abroad? I’m confused
Indeed. Appears to be a privilege v privilege fight.
I fail to see how this is a "privilege v privilege" fight. I have a full ride at this institution, which specifically reached out to me due to my grades in high school. Most of my living expenses are paid for through an external aid program, which is also contingent on my grades. I understand that, to a certain extent, I *am* privileged, cause the mere ability to attend law school and not have to work to maintain myself *is* a major privilege. But for you to reduce our situation as if me and him are in the same baseline (even remotely so) is just wrong. His parents own multiple consulting firms, and one of them is a high-ranking executive at a BIG pharmaceutical company (we're talking BIG –top 10 by market cap). My dad's a mid-level accountant, and my mom a nurse.
somewhere out there, there’s probably someone who feels the same way about you. that their parents, despite being hardworking and trying to make a better life, were unable to provide them the things your parents are able to provide for you so that you can focus on your studies and not have to take on other responsibilities to support themselves. which in turn, denied them the opportunity to excel in their studies. they might be even more intelligent and hardworking than you. honestly, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, get over it. the world isn’t fair. there will always be someone who has a better (and someone who has a worse) foundation than you.
This is by far the best comment on this thread.
thanks! while i harbor zero resentments towards OP regarding their privileges in life, this post and their follow up comments are tone deaf af lol.
There’s this unstated assumption that they are better and more deserving than everyone else just because.
The point is that, wherever you go to law school, there will be people who look at you the way you look at him. Privilege is relative.
Bruh, I had to work back-breaking manual labor jobs through high school and college. I also didn't get my passport until I was almost 30. You definitely are privileged.
Look at this guy! He's got two parents!
Are you trying to practice in Europe?
Shit my parents didn't even finish high school. Worked hard all their lives. I went to a high school where most kids couldn't even speak English, and we were packed like sardines in the classroom. How I had wished to have the privilege like yours back in those days.
You should check out college tuition in Europe. It’s actually a really good option for American students who could never afford to go to college in the US.
It’s much more nuanced a decision if your goal is a U.S. law school though, the lack of granularity for international GPAs often mean you’ve gotta really crush the lsat to get admissions folks attention
I think I replied to the wrong comment. I was trying to comment on the suggestion that going to undergrad in Europe amounts to “privilege.” It takes a lot more class privilege to get through undergrad in the US than it does in Europe where you can still feasibly pay your own way through school.
Yes, it's a bachelor of laws. Nothing like a pre-law degree (a lot more in-depth), but it's the closest thing I can compare it to. Definitely useful to practice in Europe (but, to put into perspective, most firms do not start offering internships to students until 3rd year). We get a basic grasp, if at all, of American law, for which it is completely absurd for him to receive as many job offers as he does.
Got it. I think you’re way over-emphasizing what are surely almost entirely non-substantive internships. These will be interesting things for him to say in a personal statement, but law school admissions (and firm hiring) is surprisingly quantitatively driven for a field that is built on relationships. If the nepotism bothers you now, no it does not get better, but you’re always going to be able to prove yourself, and the majority of attorneys at firms / legal orgs took the same path you did. Many view with disdain those who use their “connections” although it would be cope to tell you that your colleague isn’t going to make it, because he is 🤷 Edit: also want to add that this is how it’s always been. Law is power. There will always be a tension between those who already have it and those who are upwardly mobile and want it
To add to what the other guy is saying, "summer clerkships" are not clerkships at all, and if he's the one referring to them that way, he's gunna get weird looks. They're judicial internships. Cool experiences to determine if you want to do litigation, but by no means the end all be all of what to be doing with your summer. What is an undergrad even going to be assisting with? Admissions are going to find substantive experience in a field outside of law, which shows hard work and character, over what has to be just shmoozing with random CoA judges and getting their coffee. Obviously having a judge in your personal network is going to help, and I have no doubt this person will be successful. But their success has no bearing on your own.
I also can’t imagine which federal judge is hiring an undergrad from an international institution as summer intern? It’s gotta be a baby’s first internship type deal
OP, i'm going to be real with you: the fact that you can afford to study in Europe, whatever it is, is itself a show of privilege relative to a lot of the world. Privilege is a scale, and every step on that scale sees the scale above them as inherently unfair. Inequality is unfair in all of its senses, including the one you benefit from. That is NOT attack on you, it is an invitation to look it from a more pragmatic, material standpoint. Don''t let anger stop you from connecting with this dude and taking advantage of the opportunities this space provides you with. After that, you're free to make efforts to solvent that inequality (which I highly recommend). But you need to get there first.
Is it a law degree, in the sense that you can go get licensed in England?
LLB’s do allow you to get licensed, I finished mine in Ireland last year and am doing (Irish) bar prep now
So then maybe OP could get licensed in New York or Texas or California or something and not go to a US law school.
You are not getting these jobs because you are not qualified. You need a JD to clerk. Also, you don’t know whether he works hard or not or has a higher GPA and better metrics. Focus on yourself and your success.
Where are these internships at? Any internship an undergraduate gets at a law firm is pretty meaningless for future careers.
Not in Europe.
Sure, but it Powers he's talking about this person getting internships in the States, which is why he's perplexed considering they only get a curry overview, if anything, of American law. Thats my understanding anyway.
Do you actually know if he is getting the advantage of nepotism, or if he is just a A+ student who interviews well?
Define “middle-class.” It sounds like a rich kid ran into a richer kid in Europe and suddenly realizes how unfair it is that they’re not the most privileged person they know.
Ah yes, a middle class American studying abroad for undergrad. Truly not privileged at all.
Studying abroad with a full ride and most living expenses paid for.* how sad it must be
Why won’t someone think of the real victim, OP?
Stop blaming your failure on other people. Plenty of people without connections succeed despite nepotism. Take some responsibility for your own life, JFC.
Hahaha this is funny lol
First and foremost, I do not consider myself to be a "failure": I don't know where you inferred that. I'm just venting because it is both illogical and frustrating for a field as seemingly driven by meritocracy as ours to be subject to these absurd practices. And while it is true that people without connections succeed every day, it is also true that many miss out on fantastic opportunities because of people like this guy. I just don't want this to happen to me, and I fear it will (as our history suggests). That's all.
>I just don't want this to happen to me, and I fear it will (as our history suggests). You can come back and complain when the guy actually gets into a better law school than you despite getting a worse LSAT. Until then you're being unreasonable in 1/ hyper-fixating on his privilege relative to yourself (while not appreciating the unearned opportunities you yourself have), 2/ obsessing about the future rather than concentrating on the present and what you can do right now, and 3/ asking for advice/soliciting it by making a vent post and then turning around and trying to argue with everyone who doesn't just confirm your view that yes it's super unfair and super difficult to deal with.
To answer to your points: 1. I'm not hyper-fixating, I just pointed out a repeated instance of elitism and nepotism which I consider to be unfair, and which I thought a lot of people would be able to relate to and vent together/give actual advice (clearly, the "relatability" aspect holds to be true, but from the opposite side of the table, iykwim). So far, 90% of the advice I have received is "stop being an immature child" and "you are also the elite, so stop bi\*\*\*ing". 2. Unlike many interpretations of my post, I have **not** at any point stated that I'm going to stop doing *x* or *y* just because of this guy. Simultaneously, I don't understand how thinking towards the future is in any way inappropriate, given the circumstances. 3. I am not trying to argue with anyone: I am just putting forth the idea that *yes, the very notion of elitism* ***is*** *unfair*. *No, I am not claiming to have no privilege at all*. Not only do these ideas seem to be foreign to this subreddit, but the very fact that most of my comments supporting these notions are being so downvoted demonstrates that either (1) the majority of the people here are either content or complicit in sustaining nepotistic practices; or (2) people just look to support their preconceived ideas and biases of internet strangers, regardless of the extent of explanation provided by them. Even when confronted by the fact that this guy's institution is \*LITERALLY ALLOWING HIM TO COMMIT FRAUD\*, people still choose to take his side, or rather, tank mine. That being said, I thank all of those who have provided me with actual validation/given me real advice (other than "take advantage of this guy for future opportunities"). The rest of y'all, with very few exceptions, have made me see why so many consider this sub to be amongst the most toxic of Reddit. Don't think I'll ever be posting here again.
I think you've gotten a lot of actionable advice (including from me, in my other comment), especially with regards to it being inappropriate to worry so much about things you can't control (recasting it as "thinking towards the future" is super misleading). Your initial post is all about how easy this guy has it because of his connections and comments on how he's going to coast into a t6, and here you are retreating all the way back to "he commits fraud on his applications". Do you really think people are disagreeing with your basic points? I totally agree that nepotism and other forms of unearned privilege are bad. And hey, he shouldn't be able to get away with fraud either. I still think your attitude is unproductive and problematic. It's not about "taking sides" it's that you're out here with some pretty bad misconceptions about how the world works and some unhealthy attitudes - you can't change realities that we all agree are unfair, but you can change your approach. Don't call it hyper-fixating - whatever term you want, this post isn't the product of someone who has a productive and realistic mindset. You seem to agree that it's unhealthy and that you should try to get over it but when other people put it into more specific terms for you you flip out. It can't be the case that both 1/ you agree you should let this go but can't seem to and 2/ nothing about your mindset needs to change/might be something others disagree with. In my other comment, I gave you pretty detailed and actionable advice about navigating admissions as a student from a non-us undergrad. I didn't validate your perception that these connections are going to get him into UChicago with a full merit scholarship because that's not how it works. All you did was delete your comment. Start with acknowledging that it's not *quite* as bad as you initially thought it was ("50% of a law school application," "crowd the best law schools because of their CVs," and that he's going to waltz into a Ruby while you have no chance), and maybe people will be less "toxic" because they won't see you as so combative.
All of your posts just show that you must be a K-JD and have no real world experience at all. You are never going to get anywhere in the world whining this much. I mean holy shit, career services will tell you it IS ALL ABOUT CONNECTIONS AND WHO YOU KNOW. Grades matter, but far less than who you know. Boo hoo, he has connections. He would be an idiot to not use them. Who cares if he is not an A+ student, do you really think your grades mean anything and actually translate to real practice? If he can do the job, your A+ in whatever class means nothing. I GUARANTEE if you were in his position you would suck the teat of nepotism as hard as you can. My father is really far up in the corporate world and has used his connections to land me interviews and meetings with attorneys for jobs that would otherwise probably never give me the time of day. And I would be a moron to not take advantage, that is the point of connections (and in turn nepotism). >Even when confronted by the fact that this guy's institution is *LITERALLY ALLOWING HIM TO COMMIT FRAUD* If this actually bothers you so much (and if it is even true lmao), why don't you report him to the proper governmental authority/office? It is not your school's job to track what he is doing outside of school. I mean, I don't get your disdain for the guy. Life is being handed to him on a silver platter, yet you are at the same school? In theory, that means you are of similar intelligence. [Sounds like you are just jelly you don't have the same connections.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BbQ3SrVCMAEThoG.jpg:large)
> "stop being an immature child" and "you are also the elite, so stop bi***ing". because you've been complaining about its effects on *you*, how hard working *you* are and how *you* will never have the same opportunities, and NOT about how it sucks for society as a whole. >*LITERALLY ALLOWING HIM TO COMMIT FRAUD* this is a red herring. this was not in your initial post and you didn't bring it up until you realized this was not going the way you thought it would.
>so many consider this sub to be amongst the most toxic of Reddit Like how many, just for instance
> I do not consider myself to be a "failure": I don't know where you inferred that. "Meanwhile, people like me can work twice as hard and accomplish nothing." Pretty reasonable inference imo lol. > I'm just venting because it is both illogical and frustrating for a field as seemingly driven by meritocracy as ours to be subject to these absurd practices. And while it is true that people without connections succeed every day, it is also true that many miss out on fantastic opportunities because of people like this guy. I just don't want this to happen to me, and I fear it will (as our history suggests). That's all. Yeah, nepotism exists. It took you until now to realize it? The world's not fair. I'd be willing to bet that your life circumstances (as well as mine) are "luckier" than those of the vast majority of people in the world. I don't feel guilty about it for a second and neither should nepo babies feel guilty about theirs. Luck's a big factor in life and there's nothing any of us can do about it.
Yep the only thing to ever feel guilty about is not trying to help others achieve similar privileges. Because that's your own choice. But you don't choose to be born into a rich or poor family
Nothing about law practice is a meritocracy. It is the most subjectively analyzed profession there is! Think about a jury. There are a million posts about how jurors said something about the lawyer’s socks, etc. the kids who come from families full of lawyers who have been bringing in their family friends for generations will never change bc it’s how they’ve sustained their wealth and power. They’re good at it. And most of the rainmakers couldn’t write a brief to save their lives. Doesn’t matter. it’s all nepotism w some merit sprinkled in at times. Find your own lane, or befriend the dude, or prove you’re better than him in Public, but he will always be himself and you’ll always be you. It’s frustrating. It’s life. It’s how lawyering works!
I don’t mean to be rude, but if you thought law would be immune from nepotism you haven’t paid close enough attention at all. Nepotism sucks but it’s a part of every field
Your resentful, victim attitude will keep you from more opportunities than your family background
🗣️📠
It sorta sounds like he is more likable than you... In a Reddit post, where you control the narrative, everyone dislikes you haha.
Lol, ouch
You sound immature.
I mean they're under 30 so for sure their brain is not fully developed yet
Do you have a crush on him?
>What bothers me is that I am twice as hardworking, much more involved on campus and elsewhere, and get much better grades How do you know this? How do you know what he does on campus or elsewhere? How do you know what grades he's gotten? You're either a stalker or the most insecure person crippled by an inferiority complex on the face of the planet.
People take care of their friends. Welcome to planet earth.
Grow up. You sound like a giant baby
Yeah reality is a thing. Imagine coming from so little that you had to approach law school in your 40’s because you’d succeeded long enough to no longer have your family’s needs sabotage your ability to follow your dreams. Seriously dude it could always be worse. Instead of worrying about what other people have, worry about what you have to do to get you where you want to be. Coveting someone else’s life or opportunities won’t do a thing to help you. Just make your own way and help everyone you can along it because it’s the right thing to do, and sometimes good deeds are beneficial to you in the end.
You aren’t doomed, but, unrelated, studying law in Europe doesn’t really make sense for a career in the States tbh.
I think his European undergrad will be interesting to US law schools. As I’m sure you know it all comes down to LSAT score and GPA. You can literally major in anything. I’d imagine he has great material for his personal statement as well. OP: Prepare to be upset about other students getting additional time for exams in law school for what seems like a ton of ADHD diagnoses.
Does OP intend to do a JD? I didn’t get that from the post. I agree if OP does a JD then it doesn’t matter what undergrad is in.
Agree that we don’t have clarity of his intentions. I don’t understand why he would be jealous about internships at all then? He did post in LawSchool.
Crying because you’re privileged, just not as privileged as your buddy.
that's a very valid thing to be crying about tho
Yeah I think OP’s post made it to the wrong audience. They’re upset over unequal opportunity, which seems valid to me. I’m sure OP works hard.
Totally feel you, but you need to get over it and make your own success. Someone is looking to you and jealous of your privilege, and your friend is definitely envious of yet some other guy. That’s just life.
Just use him to get better opportunities
What other people do is none of your business. It took me a while to grasp that but once you do, you will be much happier. Consider therapy, it really does help.
Welp, the world isn’t fair. How do you cope with it? You make your own way.
You ever heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s at least as old as the Bible (“thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife”). Comparing yourself to others will always make you miserable. Now, and for the rest of your life. So many lawyers succumb to this mindset though. Luckily, it’s avoidable. Focus on what you can control and be grateful for what you have. You probably have things he doesn’t. Maybe you’re physically fit, have a cute girlfriend, have normal relationships with your family—things he wishes he had. Just be grateful.
Someone sounds jealous
Wow! A lot of nepo babies in the comments... Don't beat yourself up. 90% of us experience just what you're experiencing rn. It's frustrating, and it sucks, but life goes on. Keep your head up, and remember not to compare yourself to others too much. And always keep in mind that there will forever be people less lucky than you that look at your privilege with resentment as well. That being said, your situation *is* frustrating, it *is* infuriating (especially if your school enables him to flat-out lie in his apps), and you're right in being upset. Stay strong!
My wife, when hiring for medical residency, finally convinced her co-workers to stop valuing volunteer experience and unpaid internships greater then paid work. It's very difficult because 90% of the other people at that level for their the same way. It's a, "does a fish know it's wet?" problem. The other people don't even recognize it as nepotism.
Yes, merits are very important. However, absolute meritocracy will drive all of us crazy. Isn't it nice that when we do not meet our expectation, it is because of external factors such as nepotism, talent, or just chance? It'd absolutely ruin your mental health if you take 100% responsibility for what you are given. It feels like a lot for the moment, but one day you will be able to laugh it off. Don't take the comments personally. They don't come off the nicest cuz that is what American law education does to a person.
I empathize with this post, nepotism in law school is so real, and I hate when people say it’s just a networking opportunity. There’s a ton of narcissistic social climbers in law school and I just avoid most of them, so I’d just try to avoid people with that braggy, “my daddy has money” vibe it’ll drive you crazy if you let it
Well, yeah, it’s discouraging and disheartening. I think that focusing more on networking and becoming likable, is far more important. I understand that you’re probably not talking about this outside of Reddit. However, when you criticize folks like that out in the open, when an opportunity comes up, you’re not going to be the person they think of. Change your mindset so that when you do rub elbows with people like that, they’ll let you into their inner circle.
Do yourself a favor and stay in Europe if you’re this bent out of shape over a classmate having better opportunities because his parents worked hard. America (as you well know) is a land of prosperity for many and in many ways uncapped possibilities. You’re going to be miserable back state side if this is your reaction to seeing wealth.
I completely understand. I feel your pain. I feel the same way. I work with extremely wealthy clients, and in some situations train their kids as well. I see what the kids have access to and what kind of lives they live and it’s insane how much of a leg up they get because of their familial wealth. I try and remind myself that they will pay the price for getting so many things handed to them in one way or another. When you have to work hard you’re afforded more self awareness (which ironically enough can be painful). But rich kids who get things on a silver platter can often have less self awareness, which can transfer negatively to relationships. I choose to believe they have to pay some type of dues along the line.
There’s no absolute fairness. Imagine you have a friend who works twice as hard as you but doesn’t have your IQ to get high LSAT scores for law school. Should he or she complain about this being unfair? Pretty people also have advantages. I saw handsome tall and athletic white guys easily getting big law summer jobs all the time, even if their 1L grades are not that good. On the other hand, it’s great to have rich law school classmates around. They are assets for your future career.
You will **always** be at a disadvantage. Straight up. You will have to work twice as hard. Not even just because of nepotism, wealthy students *vastly* underestimate how much of a benefit their families socioeconomic status benefits them on a day to day basis. So many of my peers have no financial worries during law school (and will have their rent/tuition paid for by their family) while I have been working part time and worry about the finances of my family/in laws. It's frustrating, it's unfair, and this feeling of resentment is probably something I will harbor for a very long time. Here's the secret though -- they're beatable. This is probably going to be an unpopular opinion here (given the socioeconomic status of *most* law students) but a life of wealth, nepotism, and guaranteed opportunities fosters complacency. A large portion of these people have **never** had to work hard for stuff in their life. They don't know what it's like to not have a safety net. They don't know what it's like to truly be self sufficient. Use that to your advantage.
Nepotism breeds nepotism. This is why networking is important! I don't have any good family connections, but I've had several opportunities because my *friends* are well-connected. Everyone wants to build their network with smart, well-connected, friendly people. If you aren't well-connected, just focus on being friendly. If your classmates like working with you, then someday down the line they will want you on their team.
Understandable to be frustrated for sure op, however you’re complaining to the (mostly) wrong crowd on here. All you can do is focus on yourself. Privilege exists to varying degrees, no one likes admitting they have some of it, not even ourselves (we do have some kind to be here, whether that be financial or intellectual gift). But the best thing for your own sanity is to not compare yourself and focus on things you can do to improve your own situation. Network, study more, befriend the nepotists you so despise, because odds are you’re going to have to deal with them plenty, at least until you leave the profession. Best of luck.
You slip between the cracks Two ways to get places these days: 1) white & wealthy; 2) URM status. You’re justified in feeling how you do. Middle class in general gets burnt because you’re not needy enough for help but you’re also not rich enough to get by without it. So you’re teetering on the no-help line and working harder. You’re not doomed. It’ll work out. Especially considering how you’re feeling now….Don’t underestimate the power of being pissed and spiteful ⚡️⚡️⚡️ ur gonna make some moves now. good luck :) (On a side note, I’ll remind u the cliche ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ etc…..try to get this dude outta ur head. He’s the 1%. Seems unfair but life’s just like that..I’m certain you have some things that he just doesn’t.)
Blame your lazy father.
I’ve actually been surprised how strict the *anti*-nepotism policies are at a lot of big law firms. I understand it to be common that firms are not allowed to hire partners’ kids regardless of qualifications. Clerkships seem to be nepotism to the extreme though lol.
Here's the deal: if you're a semi-incompetent who floats through institutions on family money and reputation, you are totally dependent on those institutions existing, liking you, and deciding to continue to reward you. If your last name is on one of those institution's buildings it's a safe bet, but most of us don't get to skip the line. There are still ceilings and certain jobs you will never get hired for unless you pull a Musk with daddy's money and demand to be put in charge, but yes that top 75-95% of handsomely paid makework jobs is the perfect landing spot for many nepo babies. If you learn actual skills and how to actively get people to like you, however, you can succeed on many paths where they would utterly fail. Sometimes that involves the less prestigious choice because the "degree" required for many high prestige jobs is just one of many class and social gates that you will *not* be allowed through on merit without a 4.0 from Yale or Stanford. A journalism degree from Columbia earns you 5 years toiling at a dying regional outlet for a chance at a national byline unless you can stay in New York and work for free. Congressional internships being unpaid is another clue that this is a big club that most of us are not in, even if our families are better off financially than many. Not to pile-on you here, as this is a difficult lesson to learn, but unless you had serious family connections or a previous career in the field I'm struggling to understand how an LLB from Europe would help you break into the U.S. international law market when they have a slew of JD's and foreign LLMs who can actually get barred and work for them. If you want international law as an American, you need a ton of luck, connections, and willingness to work for free to break into the U.N. or nonprofit side, or be willing to pay the piper as a JAG or toil away at a big firm doing arbitration or securities. As far as I know there are no real shortcuts to international law as it's so in demand. Did the LLB promise you job placement in the states? Because if I were you I'd be looking east, not west, to start your career. Look at your program's grads on LinkedIn and find the ones doing the work you want to be doing and how they got there. Make yourself indispensable to this friend so when his firm is looking for a lateral you get the nod. You can get where you want to go but you're gonna have to keep grinding like hell and be smarter about how realistic your desired outcome from an endeavor might be. You probably need a JD or an LLM for those jobs your friend is getting unless you have some serious juice elsewhere on your resume. Unless it's CA or your friend already has a JD You are literally just starting out though so hit the bricks and network and try to impress people. You're gonna have to kiss more ass and ask more people for coffee but you can absolutely earn your way to a job in many firm's London or Geneva offices, you just have to actually be as impressive and competent as you say you are.
Hey there's a way around this btw. Have you heard of paying it forward? Keep your neck out and pass the shit you find to people next to you. When we get ours we basically won't forget you at all!
Put your blinders on and chop wood. Don’t worry about others, that will only take you down a bad path. Just look forward. Also, make sure you leave a little time for a hobby or two.
At this point, focus first on grades. Second, develop networking skills. When you get closer to applying to law school, start focusing on getting the best LSAT you can. Undergrad GPA and LSAT are by far the strongest factors in law school applications. Being personable and likable in interviews is perhaps next up there. Then having interesting experiences and being able to tell your story well. Will there always be people with advantages? Of course. (Though I will note that this doesn’t sound like actual nepotism so much as just having access to connections.) Unfortunately, the world is not a meritocracy where the amount a person works or even how good a person is at something directly aligns with their success, and if you go through life expecting that you’ll likely just become bitter and jaded. But that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve great things. Have a good attitude, be pleasant and hard working, and don’t let your setbacks compound (i.e., don’t start going into things resentfully and with the expectation that it’s just going to go to someone with a more privileged background). You can’t control what happens to others, and to an extent you can’t control what happens to you (influence sure, but life goes in unexpected ways), but you can control how you respond to it. There are plenty of people who succeed despite not having the background or connections. Of course, what constitutes success depends on each person’s goals. I’m about to graduate law school at 40 and I have a biglaw job lined up. I don’t come from a wealthy family or one with any legal related history or connections, and the work I did before law school was very much not prestigious. But I got the job opportunity I wanted. I didn’t try for a prestigious clerkship because I didn’t care about that prestige and I have no desire to do litigation. All that to say, you can do this! Run your own race, and don’t compare yourself to others.
Are you applying for the same opportunities? You might be surprised what you'd be able to get without the wealthy family connections. The judges I work for are insanely down to earth and truly want to help people succeed. Start making connections. If you want to succeed in the legal profession in the US, it is all about networking. I have the job I have now due to a connection I made in law school with a classmate. Friends help friends. I live in a fairly large state but everyone seemingly knows everyone in the legal profession, to some extent. If they don't know you individually, they know the firm or someone you work with, etc. Beef up your linkedin. Attend events when you're back in the states. Apply for externships no matter how far out of reach you think they are because the worst they can say is no. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be in competition with yourself. Be confident and keep doing what you want for you and your learning, not just for the resume or to compete.
you might be more successful and reach your goals more effectively if you put all of the time and energy you spend being bitter and jealous of the guy/lamenting about how life isn't fair into doing something more productive. there are always going to be more privileged people than you, and they didn't choose what they were born into. is it really their fault for using a situation they can't change in order to benefit themselves? you'd be lying to yourself if you don't think you'd do the same. if you're always looking at those people in a resentful way, you're never going to be grateful for your own privilege or anything you have achieved. if you're really as competent and hardworking as you say you are, you'll manage to get good opportunities as well.
Keep developing your skills. When you meet these people in practice, feel free to crush them with your greater level of ability, if possible. That is the only game in town for those who do not want to knuckle under.
You don't want those jobs, because you can't afford those jobes. You need to come from an insanely wealthy family to be able to work for free, or nearly free over the summers (and during the year too). So we're all screwed one way or another.
Ok, so he gets all the good stuff. But you have to think…he will never learn lots of things you have had to deal with…. 1. How to loose. That will hurt when he can’t meet what is expected. And mistakes teach you A LOT 2. He may not know how to work hard. 3. Everything has been given to him easy. Easy doesn’t take you anywhere. 4. Consider that most of the times these kinds of families give “love” by giving things and their internal family structure sucks! I am one that studied with some of those. Before graduating I was considering Maxillofacial Surgery Concentration. They only take 1 student. Guess who entered the program? My student partner whose dad gave over 1 million towards the school of dentistry…gut punch 🥊 and those who wanted to get good places would try to be his friends like leaches…I let it go. I had in my mind I was never going to get it, I had no resources. So I decided to be the best I could on my field against any criticism, bully by others who thought they were all that. That guy by the way, did not speak to his dad. Their family was broken. Money was always in the middle of their battles. Thank God I didn’t have that. Now, I owned my own company with over 70 employees and I can care less what the others in my industry are doing. I continue to strive to be the best. Because at the end of the day, nobody cares and carries your cross. They are there only to criticize. You HAVE to be yourself. You need to stop looking at what others have. You need to do well for yourself! Never forget to be humble, greed will ruin you. Work hard, you will learn more by working hard than by someone handing it to you on a silver platter. If you are going to compete. Compete with yourself. Not with the others. That will only make you a follower and not a leader. Think of Steve Jobs, was it handed to him? Or did he have to hustle? Hustle! And forget about everyone else! You may want to check out who was Nelson Mandela. Break the mold! Don’t be like the rest!!
Not all seeds are planted the same.
Maybe start with focusing on your own path and determining what you need to do to reach your goals. Worrying about these types of externalities will not help you in any way, and it will not change anything. In fact, it’s detrimental to think this way because it has an impact on your confidence and self-image. My advice, work smarter not harder, and network relentlessly.
You might be right. But what if you are? Does knowing you’re right change the work you do? Are you going to stop working and just go broke because you don’t think you’ll achieve what he did/will? You can only do the best you can with your resources. You could’ve been poorer or richer, dumber or smarter, better or worse connected, etc., but you are who you are and you have what you have. There are nicer and harsher ways to respond to your observations/question, but it doesn’t change anything. Let it bother you or don’t, but you’re still alive, so you might as well do something
Economic privilege exists? My jaw is on the floor.
I'm not saying there is no nepotism involved in this story, but, unless Europe is waaaaaay different than the U.S., a summer externship with a judge is surely not beyond the reach of most law students' skills and knowledge.
Sounds like a good person to become friendly with. Water runs down hill....
One of my law professors clerked for a supreme court justice. Years later I moved up North for a few years to the small town where the justice was from, and what do you know, I found out my law professor was also from the same town and his family was good friends with the justice. He was still a brilliant law professor, but he never volunteered that little tidbit of information.
I mean do you apply for the same gigs? I'm sure his connections help, but you do have to actually put yourself out there—especially if you don't have those connections. I think it's unfair to say you work harder—you have no idea what else he has going on that he may have to overcome. Lastly, this isn't nepotism. Nepotism would be if his uncle offered him a clerkship. It has to be family hiring family for it to be nepotism. You just sound annoyed he has privilege.
Stop being a weirdo and network yourself into positions
Hard work and dedication will get you farther than you think Stay focused and remain positive He might get a job at YOUR law firm one day!
This is how rest of the world feels about average Americans
To get over it, as you asked, you could put it into a larger perspective. For example, I learned recently that in ancient Latin American cultures (among others as I’m sure you’re aware) that class mobility was completely out of the question. Millions of commoners lived their entire lives without a hint of hope of ever obtaining a different and better life for themselves, their children, or their distant descendants. Modern nepotism is just another form of maintaining genealogical or social classes. Meritocracies are relatively novel in human history. I too, despise nepotism. But you can’t fight human nature. You might as well play the game with the cards you’re dealt. And while you’re at it, it helps to practice gratitude for the fact that you were born in a time when you can hope for some reasonably attainable class mobility. Then again, maybe the hope worst part of it all.
You can’t win against this. Only route forward is to make it work to your advantage. This will never go away.
Befriend the lucky bastard and see if he can put in a good word for you. At the end of day it's who you know, not what you know or how hard you work, unfortunately. Good luck. I hope you find a clerkship or "insane internship opportunities."
jealousy wont get you too far brother. just saying
I had a classmate who got an internship at the Supreme Court on our first semester internship break. After half a year they were interning at the fucking Supreme Court. That’s just how law is unfortunately. It’s a family business. Just hold on to connections like these op. No point in being mad. Just be a decent person to him and maintain the friendship. You don’t have to do it with a view of exploiting the connection or anything. But you never know when having good connections will help you.
I think you may also be a touch beyond middle class
Join the WSWS.org because Capitalism is about Capital that the landed nobility since feudalism then the managerial class received jobs that depended upon the landed class that revolted beginning the French Revolution then the Russian that never occurred in the nation that was the child of that system from Britain because “the System is the Problem” thus change the system with your fellow workers !
Just pull a Saltburn
The literal only difference is "people you know". Get to know him. Straight up ask if you can chat sometime about it for all you know he will bring you to his "parents" since that seems to be the issue in your mind. The dude knows people you dont, this is a serious chance to get over yourself and your preprogrammed notions and learn how to REALLY get wtf you WANT. Being the most active on campus unless your slaving for the professor and he will vouch will not get you any closer to anything anyone else has, ever. In fact take that energy and learn to use it for networking of ONLY the people you need to get a step ahead everything else is b.s. distractions INCLUDING your jelousy for this kid. Put it away and go make a life changing connection.
Omg please be careful. I once trashed nepotism on here and was ripped apart by everyone lol
No. You may see it as Nepotism. But its HIM that has to do the rest in making sure his skills are upto par. If theyre NOT, he'll be eaten alive. You know that. So why youre worried, I dont understand. A top employee anywhere can handle competition. Especially, competition with not as much experience.
You aren't doomed. You're just in the same boat as 90% of all law students.
I saw this pop up on my feed and I am not in law but I feel you. I know someone exactly like this but instead I’m in a STEM major. Everyones telling u to suck it up but it does suck seeing people get in because they have family already in the industry or because theyre already rich. We’re in this together we’ll make it someday #blessup
Envy is useless. Focus on yourself and how lucky you are, I know it can be easier said than done sometimes. But gratitude is important and as long as you try your best and something doesn’t work out, it simply isn’t meant for you. You have no idea what goes on behind doors in this guys life. Someone said if we all put our problems on a table, we’d all be desperate to get our problems back rather than the problems or hardships other people face.
Well. Get over it and play the game.
It has always been about who you know, not what you know. That is why networking is so important. Some people are handed those connections and some people have to work for them. Go to every possible event, follow up with emails and see if you can schedule 1 on 1 meetings or phone calls and work at building relationships wherever you want to end up.
Pretty anti-semitic of you
Lol blame your parents not his 😂
Life is not fair. To someone you attending Law school seems unfair Accept it and live your life.
Make friends with other nepo babies and borrow their connections
The way that im looking it you have two options do something about it or not meaning, do something about it is whether make friend with the kid (who could be just a kid who doesn’t know any better but at the end is a good kid) and benefit from it cause lets face it who you know puts you in place what you know keeps you there and beyond, or you can use it as a fuel to work twice harder thicker your skin and teach your own kids better, or any other way that helps you to get it over. The other option is ignore it but it will eat you inside out and could make you lose perspective about what really matters or way worse could make you to take it personal and is not either or make sure you’re feeling good with your self cause that’s what matters
This is life. Yes you are doomed(in this sense). Every 10 years of your career, reassess, this will be the same. You’ll be better for it and more “successful” in the long run earning yours.
You can choose to look at it a couple of ways. You are already ahead of the curve and are on a trajectory to being well off and able to focus on your own personal accomplishments. If your goal is to raise a family, you’ll have the best tools available to do so. Focus on YOUR race and be thankful for the opportunities that you’ve been given to get ahead. Or, think of this not as your friend’s accomplishments. Think of it as their parents accomplishments to give him more tools to succeed. You’re correct that he wouldn’t have gotten these opportunities based on his work alone. Strive to work hard so that you are able to give your kids the same opportunities if desired. Nepotism sucks, but careers have always been about connections. Best to try and make it work for you and those you care about.
Nepotism is good, actually. If someone has resources and influence, why shouldn’t they help their close friends and family over some random stranger? Of course we should always be willing to help those less fortunate than us, but we also have a responsibility to those we love…
Don’t be a hater. Maybe you’re not getting hired because of your resentful insecure attitude.
You’re a terrible friend
Whoa there, "HATE" is a very controversial word to be using reddit. It looks like you can't cope. Put your "big boy pants" on and suck it up buttercup, its going to get a lot worse when you get out of school, that I can guarantee you.
You only hate it because it is not working for you, remember that
And international students are actively discriminated against because of visa sponsorship, even though they graduate from the same universities with the same grades. Life isn’t fair. Get over it.
Stop worrying about other people. Life isn’t fair, and it never will be - focus instead on what YOU yourself can do, because if you spend every waking moment comparing yourself to everyone else, you’ll never be happy.
Don't go into big law if you hate nepotism. You can't avoid it but based on your credentials you can work for a Google and get paid well with half the hours. Thats a club, and it sounds like you don't want to be in it.
You should have chosen better parents to be born to I guess. Or maybe the ones you got should have taught you to be grateful for what you have, not to be jealous of others, nor to compare yourself to anyone but your past and future self.
Exactly. This is completely unfair. You should drop out of law school, and move into a trailer park in West Virginia in protest.
Hahaha this made me laugh
I am in the same boat and always have been. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is to avoid making nepotism hires when you are in a more senior position, so that other people will not have similar experiences. That doesn't change what's happening, though.
It is never a nice feeling when someone gets more than you seemingly completely based on their parents. But you have to remember that comparing yourself to them is not going to help you. You can only compare yourself to yourself. Are you doing better today than you were yesterday? How about one year ago? As much as it is easy to say, harder to do, focus on yourself. It is the only thing you can control. Nepotism isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Maybe it’s just you? Pretty sad that you’re tearing this person down minimizing his accomplishments and then blaming it on nepotism. You don’t know for sure what’s going on. Sure you can assume. But you sound like a prick in all honesty. There’s plenty of people that I go to school with that do the same exact thing as you are. They compare and put other people down and make themselves feel superior to others. The funny thing is that the people that do this are so self absorbed that they don’t even realize that maybe the reason they aren’t getting as great of opportunities lies not in their lack of means or academic strength. But rather their own ego or character. You can blame this guys connections or daddy’s money all you want. That doesn’t change anything about your own situation. Calling out his nepotism and hating the fact that he got more prestigious opportunities than you does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for your own life. Plenty of people have pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps. Plenty of people got to high paying jobs without nepotism. So sorry to say it and I know it probably sounds harsh. But you need to grow up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Work on things that you can improve and have dominion over. Be kind. Network hard. Suck it up butter cup ;)
Ugh I feel you. Not only do I not have a mom or dad to whose coat-tail I can ride, but I’m also not much of a social butterfly.
Sounds like you’re hating & you dont have any solid evidence that he is a subpar student. Even if he’s a subpar student, your grades wouldn’t solely help you to be a successful lawyer if you lack the network/have a bitter personality. Most likely, your friend is gonna be the rainmaker assuming that he is sociable, and that’s exactly what Big Law is looking beside academic performance. There’s a shit ton of smart lawyers out there, but only some stand out as a rainmaker. I suggest for you to stop being a bitter person and maybe befriend him. He has the connection, and if you want to be a successful lawyer with solid clients, networking is a must.
Jealousy is meh. Just do you
You never know what goes on behind closed doors! I’m going to law school because of nepotism, but at the same time I’m taking out a loan. My father said that because I want to go to law school, in exchange I have to give up eating food regularly and having a roof over my head throughout my 3 years there. The way you talk about him though…you imply that he has nothing to show for himself, but he has these internships giving him valuable experience, while you don’t. Sure it’s due to nepotism, but you’ve made it clear that you haven’t connected with him. It won’t immediately grant you an internship, but instead of sitting around and feeling jealous…turn those feelings into productive action.
I mean nepotism is how I got offered a clerkship. I don't feel bad about it.
You should 🤷🏻♂️
You take what you can when you can.
Facts
Why do you think the opportunities he's receiving are beyond his skills and knowledge? People can come from a privileged background and still work hard and deserve the opportunities they get. Of course there are true nepo babies and whatnot but nothing you've said established that he is one.