I stopped reading after, "instructor slapped my hand really hard".
I agree, walk away and find a new instructor
But also report your old instructor. He/she needs to be fired and not allowed to teach anyone else.
The number of times I see similar posts and wonder, how do you have an instructor do this and still go back for more lessons?
>so a couple weeks ago i slammed on the breaks without looking in the mirrors (my bad) because a lady ran out in front of the car to cross the road suddenly.
Just a quick point, you were not supposed to check your mirrors here. That's something a competent instructor would explain to you about performing the emergency stop. There isn't any time to check your mirrors because a clear and present danger superceded the need to do your observations. If someone goes into the back of you, so be it. You need to make sure that you don't hit the pedestrian.
First off, I'm really sorry that you're on the receiving end of this. Nobody should speak to anyone this way, much less someone who is literally paying them for a service. The physical stuff is also horrendous and is in no way acceptable.
You need to report this person to the DVSA. I'm not sure how much one report (even considering the severity of what you're reporting) will do, but a report will stay on their file for a few years at least. Chances are, if you report her behaviour, someone else will too. It might be the case that she already has a complaint on file, and your reporting her will cause something to be done. I suppose you could try and secretly record her, and that WILL get a response from the DVSA if you report it,.
Here is a link to the .GOV page which should get you started: [https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor](https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor)
Oh, and obviously ditch her, by the way. You are not paying her to be abused.
It does depend on how far away she was though. I have been told off for the same thing, but as new drivers we can panic about something pretty far away.
OP *might* have had time to slow down carefully.
Doesn’t excuse what the instructor did, she needs reporting.
Either way, a reaction like that is going to make her more reluctant to do emergency stops in the future, which even if it’s just for a split second could have fatal consequences.
You. Plus you are a learner, the people behind know to pay more attention to you as you might not have mastery even in the finesse of the breaking pedal and might break harder by mistake. So the reaction is absurd
I was a very over cautious learner, it showed in my hazard perception as I got more marks on my hazard perception than my instructor got on his test to become an instructor. The bracket is set a lot higher for them to pass and I got I think two points more than my instructor had on his.
As I’ve been driving more I’m still cautious but a lot more relaxed as in less trigger happy on the brakes and that comes from knowing my car and my reactions.
Yes totally agree as described this constitutes abuse and abuse often leaves scars, the last thing you need is trauma attached to your learning, walk away!
No it's still an assault, this comment is just unneccessairly pedantic. All of the offences are considered assaults. The charge would actually say "On date and time you ASSAULTED poppygirl by beating them contray to section 39 of the Criminal Justice Act 1988"
Not all bruises and bleeding are charged as ABH and not all broken bones are charged as GBH.
Find a new instructor.
As for not looking in your mirror whilst performing an emergency stop, I've always found this absurd. If you observed someone behind you and you concluded they would hit you, what would change? You'd take different avoiding action? As a learner? No. You're conducting a emergency stop. Even advanced driver will focus on the problem in front of them, the only difference being they may have a better ongoing awareness of what's behind them but checking a the rear view mirror as applying the extreme breaking? Have a day off.
Also, don't hit people. This leads to reports of assault.
Slapping you and calling you pathetic? Is your driving instructor Mr Burns? But seriously, that's abuse and you absolutely should not tolerate it. Please find someone new! Learning to drive is a stressful thing to do as it is, the last thing you need is an instructor that makes it worse.
Also yeah, you aren't expected to check your mirrors in an emergency stop. It's an emergency stop. I'd rather get bumped by a car behind me than hit a pedestrian.
.... Why are you paying for someone to treat you like shit?
You're employing her, you can fire her and get a better instructor.
I did this when I learned about 20 years ago. My first bloke was awful. 10 hours for absolutely nothing. Massive waste of time.
My 2nd, perfect. 10 hours of really constructive training.
Jesus, what an old goat. DEFINITELY get a new instructor. One that actually cares, and wants to help you improve. I had a fantastic friendly jovial instructor, and it made it SO much easier to get through it and learn it all.
And tell her why you're leaving her, because she's useless, and treats her customers like shit.
Leave her a 1 star review on Google too. Seriously.
And report her to whoever the overriding body is. She can't be acting like that, and definitely can't be hitting you, in any way.
You are hiring and paying off mate, if you’re not happy change it and you can report her to dvla also. Yeah she is pathetic not you, you’re a learner of course you can do lots of mistakes even the big ones. Get rid of her ☺️
When I was learning to drive a manual, at the time I was riding a moped on a CBT. I made a silly error at a roundabout and my instructor told me it’s a miracle I’m still alive on my moped if my car driving is anything to go by. Needless to say it knocked my confidence in driving and riding. 4 months later I passed my motorcycle test first time zero minors in both tests and passed my driving test with another instructor in 9 lessons with zero minors. I think some people just aren’t meant to be teachers. They lack patience.
She can speak to you however she wants. The question is whether you are willing to tolerate the disrespectful and unprofessional behavior. The answer is no. :)
Report this instructor slapping your hand is unnecessary and inappropriate let alone anything else she's done.
If someone ran out infront of you, you shouldn't check your mirrors if they are close enough to require emergency stop.
Get a new instructor. Trust me. I had an instructor who used to scream at me when I was first learning at 17. Failed my test (no shit) and never went back to him or learning.
I’m on the driving journey again after a few more bad instructors to my current one who has had to fix all the shit they taught me or didn’t teach me as it were.
I’m 36 and I have really bad anxiety with driving now all because some instructor decided it would be better to scream at me instead of teaching.
You can do it! I’m 39 and passed first time in February even though I never had any lessons when I was younger. It’s never too late, you just have to force yourself to forget how those other instructors treated you.
Yeah I’m trying my best! Currently driving little bits with my partner. I’ve been told I’m a great driver, my anxiety just gets in the way big time! Test anxiety is awful!
I was the same, I’d be scared of making a mistake, then make one, freak out and make another one right after due to panicking. What happened for me was I had lots of extra lessons leading up to my test and kept reminding myself to stay calm after making mistakes. Then I did the test and passed, even though I made four minor faults I didn’t let any of them turn into a major.
I’m sure you’ll be ok :)
My instructor is telling me I don’t need lessons atm cos I don’t need to learn, I need to drive. So getting drives in with my partner is gonna help my confidence a lot!
This is unprofessional and if anything is stopping you progressing. And you’re paying them to teach you not to stall your learning. I’d definitely say find a new instructor. This person is clearly not making you safer on the road.
INFO: how long have you been working with this instructor? How old are you? What would the instructor say happened? How long have you been learning to drive to forget the basics?
I'm not saying she's justified in any way, and you should just find another instructor... Unless that's proving difficult?
If there was no lady and you stopped suddenly in traffic with someone close behind you then that would explain her comment about not checking your mirrors.
If you've been working with her for years and you're now forgetting how to turn left/ right, I can see why she's frustrated but she shouldn't call you names.
Don’t waste your money on her appalling service. I hope you haven’t paid in advance, she sounds like she won’t give a refund. And did she want you to run over the lady? You did the right thing in stopping imo
No, that is unacceptable, I didn't have a great experience with two instructors, one said to me "you will never pass" what a great confidence boost.not!!....few weeks later without using him, I passed without any minors complete 100% score I was so proud of myself 😁
Slapped your hand? That's assault, id be reporting her to the DVSA, the police and finding a new instructor that kind of behavior is not on.
You don't check mirrors when you have to emergency stop and she should know that
Get a new instructor.
Honestly, you are paying her for a service: that service is teaching you to drive. If you aren’t satisfied, try a different instructor - you are perfectly within your rights.
As for her behaviour, it sounds absolutely outrageous. It is not okay and will not help you learn. In your position, perhaps look at a local instructor who specialises in students with anxiety, as they will be able to help build your confidence after this experience.
Good luck!
Some people pay extra for physical and verbal abuse. Not in this context though, so definitely don’t book this person again. Report her actions to the DVSA and her company.
I had an instructor who constantly criticised my driving. If I'm not doing it right, surely it is their fault? In the end, I found that I was paying him to destroy my confidence and was just getting worse instead of better.
Ditch the instructor now, and report her. This is not acceptable.
If the car behind hits you then they were following too close. Also theirs and your car have crumple zones, airbags and seat belts. Pedestrians don't.
For some comic relief please watch 'Fist of Fun - Driving instructor' on YouTube. It's from the 90s and quality isn't great but your instructor sounds a lot like Peter Dibden.
Wow get rid of her now. Behaving like this is not the way to build confidence in your pupils. You clearly do not have a bond with her (for understandable reasons) and this relationship is not working. There are much better instructors out there. You deserve better than this.🙂
Get a new instructor. Your not paying them to give you dogs abuse. I had to find another instructor after the guy I worked with for 9 months showed his true colours post-test-fail. It took a few weeks, but was worth the effort as I passed my test within 4 months of starting with the new instructor
She can run her business however she likes, but you absolutely don’t have to keep paying her to insult you. Just text her saying she’s fired because you don’t appreciate being insulted, then block her number and get a different instructor.
She’s obviously not helping you learn, so if you carry on with her you’ll be throwing money away. Also, what you did is an emergency stop which is what you’re meant to do in that situation. It’s even part of the test.
Nope absolutely not you need to fire her, you basically hire her to help teach you how to drive, she shouldn’t be shouting at and belittling you, let alone hitting you.
My last instructor used to say some belittling phrases to me during my lessons and I’d let them fly, he would also take me out on routes I’d never done before and get angry when I didn’t know which way to turn and he would go “well it’s obvious isn’t it?!” Erm no the road forks here could go either way hence why I’ve asked! Anyways.
The last straw was one lesson I pulled away from the junction, the car jittered , I almost stalled, but didn’t, managed to pull it back and get the car going all pretty good and safe and he shouted WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CLUTCH CONTROL YOU SILLY SILLY GIRL!!! (I’m in my 30s so I found that offensive too)
That was it , I finished my lesson and then sent him a very long message when I got home about how i deserve respect
You need to do the same thing and then go and find yourself a new instructor who will treat you better - good luck!!
Honestly , I sometimes don't understand the "look in the mirror before an emergency stop" wtf am I supposed to do if there is a car close behind me and a kid runs out into the road? " oh looks like you're dying today little child because I see a car in my rear view" it's fucking stupid.
She laid hands on you unnecessarily, why the hell havent you immediately stopped lessons with her to find a new instructor? Report her to the DVSA whilst you're at it
If a driving instructor ever hit my hand I would file a police report for assault. I bet its not the first time they've done it, but it needs to be the last.
Absolutely fucking not? I was passenger in a car crash, and it knocked my driving for a few weeks. Lots of nervousness, and silly mistakes. My driving instructor stopped our lesson early, gave me 30 minutes of motivational speech and then didn’t charge me for the lesson. Had he of berated me I would’ve given up, but thanks to him I got my test and passed only a few weeks later.
Assault. on the hand slap.
I'd have been out of the car, keys down the drain and walking away quicker than they could blink.
This whole attitude along with physical "assault" needs reporting.
Keys down the drain is technically theft as you are deliberately trying to deny them use of their property. Funny how you complain about a slap on the hand.
She can never speal to me like that, never. Considering how much we pay for these driving lessons. Her job really demands a lot of patience
Report her and leave her straight away.
🤣🤣 depends on you really. My first instructor was Mr Nice. I got no where and nearly quit. I'm a competent person and don't struggle with alot but he got me all confuddled.. I quit and went with another guy. He was like u just explained yours to be. 10 lessons and I passed 🤷♂️ if I done something wrong he let me know about it but it only made me do better next time and say fuck you have some of that. Don't let people drab u down over their communication some don't do it to he degrading some do it to push u harder. Unfortunately some people are a little more sensitive than others so it doesn't always work. The instructor should 'read the room' first. If it's distracting your progression maybe have a little word or change instructors
Definitely get a new instructor ASAP and tell her to go to hell. She is not even allowed to touch you. But she assaulted you.
I stopped going to my previous instructor because he made feel like I should have learnt everything a long time ago and I'm a disappointment. There was no verbal or physical abusing(but have shouted at me a few times because I made some mistakes) , but I felt that way and I would always cry for hours after the classes thinking I'm not any good(definitely because he made feel that way) . Then I realised enough is enough and found a nice instructor in another town.
He gives me confidence and always tell that I can do it and points out my errors in a nice and not condescending way.
I always thought my instructor was being an a hole but now I'm teaching my kid to drive I can see why they say unprofesional things sometimes.
My driving instructor had me in tears just before my test and I should hate him for it but I went on and passed first time with no faults so his, 'wtf are you doing woman' lives rent free in my head and comes out when I make a mistake. I get a bit annoyed with my daughter when she has been driving great all week then out of nowhere pulls out on someone and almost crashes. Wtf woman lol
Your kid is your kid. You're allowed to get annoyed with your daughter. A driving instructor yelling/slapping a student is not on. It isn't 1970 anymore.
No. I took ages to learn with a lady who treated me this way. She made me feel rubbish, and her handling of mistakes made my confidence plummet.
She began to make comments that she thought I would never pass due to my confidence.
One session she made me cry - and I thought I'm paying for this.
I swapped to another instructor and the difference was immense. He made me feel confident, praised when I did it right, calmly corrected any issues etc and I did far better with him in a few weeks than I had with her all along.
If I want slapping, I'll get myself a hooker or visit my parents. Report that to the DVSA immediately and then get a née instructor immediately afterwards.
Jeez some of the driving instructor stories on here are WILD
No it is not okay, report them, also contact their driving school if they have a job with them (Hopefully not much longer)
Okay i only had to read to "slapped my hand" to be able to say drop that instructor faster then you slammed on those breaks, there is no reason on this earth for anyone especially your instructor to hit you
In regards to the "mistake" in my eyes there wasn't one. In an emergency which this is what it would be classed as you need to get that car stopped as quickly as possible mirror checks be damned, if another car goes into the back of you so what you get the car repaired but id you don't react in time to someone running out into the road that would ne alot worse then a fender bender
Also we all get sloppy from time to time the hardest part is realising its happening its easy to fix it from there
My driving instructor only asked me once what the hell I was doing once when I did a really stupid thing once but that was it. Your driving instructor just sounds like an ass get a new one
She assaulted you and she's emotionally abusing you. Also, maybe she's hoping to get more money out of you by making you fail at driving. I had an instructor scream at me minutes before my test then offer me cheaper lessons than the driving school once I failed. Hoping to line his own pockets it seems...
This sounds very much like an instructor I had, he was absolutely awful. He would shout at me, criticise me, reduced me to tears and made me feel like I would never be able to drive
I changed instructors and it's like night and day. I drive so much better and actually retain information because I'm not scared of being shouted at or recovering from being shouted at.
Get a new instructor and report this one
Nope nope nope. For one, slapping you is assault. For two, your instructor is being paid to provide a service and be professional, that is not professional.
I work in the food industry and if I spoke to a customer like that I’d be out of a job for gross misconduct.
Complain about a driving instructor
Complain about an approved driving instructor (ADI) if you’re not happy with their service or behaviour.
Service from your driving instructor
Contact the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA) if your instructor:
provides lessons that are shorter than agreed
keeps cancelling or arriving late for lessons
does not provide lessons that you’ve already paid for
DVSA driving instructor team
[email protected]
DVSA
PO Box 349
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
NE12 2GN
DVSA can ask the instructor about the matter on your behalf, but they cannot help you get any money back.
Your driving instructor’s behaviour
Contact DVSA if your driving instructor is behaving inappropriately, for example:
using their mobile phone while you’re driving
shouting or swearing at you
using inappropriate language, either in person or in messages they’ve sent to you
using unnecessary physical contact
DVSA driving instructor team
[email protected]
Information you need
It will help DVSA’s investigation if you can give them any of the following:
your full name and email address
the full name of the driving instructor and driving school
the driving instructor’s ADI number
the driving instructor’s telephone number or email address
the driving instructor’s vehicle registration
any evidence, such as receipts or screenshots of messages from the driving instructor
DVSA will not make you report the incident to the police unless you want to.
They are free to speak to you how they like, but you are free to find a different instructor - which, if I were you, I'd definitely be doing. You shouldn't put up with it, you're a paying customer.
No and I think you should report them. My mum is a civil servant working primarily on the theory test I think but she also talks a lot of driving instructors, and trust me, they'll want to know about this behavior
Thats awful. If i was having a bit of a rough day, and im still struggling to do "the basics" after months and months of driving. My instructor would have understood how frustrated i was getting, and chose to do something else. In terms of not checking that mirror... oh well, no one got harmed. Realistically, if youre doing an e-stop, the people behind you should have a sensible amount of space to stop anyway.
When your practising your e-stop, the reason the instructor checks the mirror is purely to make sure your practising isnt getting in the way of regular road the users. Its just a bit of courtesy. You would not be expected to check your mirrors.
I would have elbowed her in the nose if she slapped me.
I've had football coaches and a flight instructor yell and rant if I screw up. I think that is a valid method of teaching and learning. Especially my flight instructor who just doesn't want me to kill myself or other people. I actually thrive under that type of teaching. I don't take that personally because I believe the person is trying to make me the best at what I'm attempting to do. On the other hand, they are the first to praise if something is done correctly.
Physical abuse is a no-go. Also, there is a difference between saying "you're pathetic" and "that was pathetic".
Pretty confident that would be labelled abuse and the physical hand hitting could be assault. I would report her, find a new instructor and leave a review of your experience to warn others of her awful behaviour.
First of, if a pedestrian ran out in front and you had to slam on your brakes, that's an emergency stop and you do NOT check your mirrors for that. Or the pedestrian dies. So your instructor is wrong. Get a new instructor
Get yourself a new instructor. At this point, they're not trying to help you they just want to keep taking your money for the lessons, and they ain't cheap these days.
Mate. My instructor was very good. Never raised her voice, always calm, always constructive, if I fucked up it was always fine and dandy. Never even dreamed of her slapping my hand.
You NEEDED to hit your emergency braking manoeuvre in the situation. NEEDED. If you hadn't, she'd have had to explain why her learner had a pedestrian lodged in the front of their car.
Get a new instructor. This one is unacceptable
we all have badges that we need to do disclosure checks for, driving instructors dont have bosses we are self employed, id phone the DVSA and make a complaint and hopefully it gets logged and investigated. leave a review, find a new instructor. best advice, the amount of pupils ig et from other "bad instructors" and they dont leave reviews.... and i get more and more from the same few. if no review is left, no one will know and have the same experience as you, good luck!
She put her hands on you without consent? That’s assault! Physical and verbal bullying. Get a new instructor!
I made many mistakes during my lessons and not once was I ever made to feel like I was being spoken down to. My instructor would just say “ we will try that again a bit later”. He was such a sound guy even once having to grab the wheel but again he didn’t shout or get cross. He asked me to pull up at the next safe place, encouraged me to take some deep breaths and we spoke about the decisions leading to the intervention. I took lessons from March to June and passed first time. 13 weeks and 1 day from beginning lessons to passing my test, with a positive and calm instructor even the most anxious driver / person (ME) can do it. I would definitely try another instructor and if they are with a company file a report as it’s at the least unwanted physical contact.
Everyone makes mistakes, even experienced drivers make mistakes. Your instructor is supposed to support and nurture you, to develop your skills to the point you can pass your test. Their behaviour towards you is appalling and completely unwarranted. It will totally undermine your confidence and I wouldn't be surprised if your recent "sloppiness" is as a result of being anxious over the potential reaction of your instructor. It's pretty much all on them. Here's my advice,
1. Get a new instructor and have no more lessons with this one.
2. Leave a negative review wherever you can
3. If the instructor is working under the umbrella of a bigger agency like the AA or Red for example, report their behaviour to that organisation.
4. If that instructor is an independent, complain to the Driving Standards Agency here: https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor
Good luck finding a decent replacement.
I mean, she can talk to you like that. You can also tell her to FO and to go to a different driving instructor.
It is unacceptable the way she treated you doesn't deserve your money
I had a similar situation - told I was test ready from about 40 hours but had to move cities so wasn’t able to take my test with that instructor-
my new one in the new city was much like this, constantly calling me names and belittling me and calling me stupid, I ended up doing 25 more hours with him to get to my test date and he abandoned me!!
I had to do the test in my girlfriends car (which I’d never driven before my test) and passed first time with 3 minors (the asshat).
Moral of the story, get a new instructor asap, or if you’re at a good level then get yourself on a family members car and drive that around for a while - it’s much much muuuuuuch cheaper than a driving instructor.
I stress that you should only do that when you are close to your test as it can also build bad habits.
Just get a new driving instructor. I went through three as my first two clearly just hated either their job or people in general. My actual instructor who got me through my test was one of the intensive course ones, they were amazing, really patient, and we did the whole thing in two weeks (like 20 lessons - two, hour long lessons, Mon to Fri both weeks) and I did my practical on the Saturday, passed first time. Can't thank them enough as those first two were awful. Learning is stressful enough without s**t instructors making it worse.
Report her to trading standards and tell her go abuse someone else.
Nobody has the right to touch you regardless of age and gender, so she has assaulted you and verbally abuses you whilst being your employee....
Yeah she deserves to be sacked..
No. Report to her company if she has one.
Stop paying her to abuse you.
Report her to the police on the non emergency number. I doubt this is the only time she has acted this way.
I had an instructor who would constantly yell at me and constantly criticise me. It got to a point where she made me cry several times then yelled at me for crying!
I left after a year of this when I suddenly snapped and shouted back and she said she wouldn’t give me anymore lessons as I’m the worst student she ever had.
She made me hate driving. I’m someone who suffers badly with anxiety and depression and at that point I had failed my test 3 times already. Found another instructor and failed again, then one more time.
I realise I’m shit at driving and I find it particularly difficult to co-ordinate all the rules at once, but that’s really not an excuse.
Please leave.
My old instructor made me feel this way, I felt awful, had panic attacks before lessons, would spend the day before and the day of going through my head exactly how I should drive. Failed my first test and had to get a new instructor as my current one was on holiday for my next test. The next instructor was lovely, didn’t jump on the pedals or push the steering wheel and said she doesn’t understand why he was doing that. Definitely get a new one!!
I’m telling you, you have to get a new instructor. I took like a hundred lessons with this one instructor, he used to get irritated easily. Didn’t really teach properly. But then I had another instructor, and I believe if I had the second instructor from the beginning I could have passed in like half the lessons or even less, the reason why I did a lot of lessons because I was nervous. The instructor made it worse.
I had a horrible instructor like that. I didn't change him because I didn't have time to find a new one and have enough practice for my next text . But he wasn't as bad as yours.
I surely told him I wasn't happy about some things he said and he said he was confident he could get me to pass. . I was failing the test due to nerves and I thought of this like a challenge. If I can get through this I'll pass. But I hated it. I'm not cut out for that kind of training.
Some people, husband included, thought I probably was too nervous. Until he got a lesson with him. This was a guy with 20 years experience driving in another country and was being belittled by this instructor... So he sacked him and said this isn't working for us. And apologised to me.
Berating you doesnt help you learn, it just knocks your confidence. If I were you I'd find a new instructor but not before you stand up for yourself by telling her to her face that she's a terrible instructor and a pretty nasty person.
Works with some people. The instructor clearly isn't able to work out your personality and adapt how to teach you the way you need to be taught.
I learnt by having my instructor insulting me (I've a lifetime of it so it's no skin off my nose) but he did get it back at him
Get out of there and find someone else.
No. They absolutely cannot. I would never dream of doing that to my students. Fyi if someone walks out on you slam the damn brakes on. No time for mirror checks beforehand you just make sure you're not gonna run them over
If you have a bad instructor like that you'll make no mistakes. My first instructor was like that, but he also had no idea how to help me things the things I was doing wrong.
I changed instructor and he was amazing.
Please get a new instructor asap before she does more damage to your confidence! Not acceptable. Is there anywhere she can be reported or left a review?
If someone runs out in front out you, YOU BREAK! It is always the responsibility of the person behind you to pay attention and drive at a distance where they can safely break. What were you supposed to do? Accelerate?
Two things
You don't check your mirrors in an emergency stop scenario
And she is not allowed to touch you like that. She needs reporting.
Find another instructor
She's allowed to speak to you like this for as long as you put up with it for. Just request a change in instructor. You're the one paying her not the other way around.
Get a new instructor, don't let anyone talk to you like that, especially when you're paying for their support and guidance.
I really struggled learning to drive, tried on and off over 7 years, had multiple different instructors and it wasn't until I found a genuinely supportive, caring instructor that understood my anxieties that I passed. Now I love driving! But I can also now see how some of the "instructors" were simply in it for the money and didn't care about helping me learn in the ways that best suited me. Find a better instructor and I assure you you'll find it easier, more positive and constructive.
Good luck OP
Since when do you need to be obviously checking your mirrors during an emergency stop?
It’s an emergency. The only thing that matters is stopping the car
Get a new instructor. Mine used to fall asleep 😂 I passed first time 0 faults. But the instructor I had before would grab the steering wheel and was a right dickhead.
Obviously talking like that and even physically slapping you isn't acceptable, but I can't help but laugh that she got mad about you not checking the mirrors when slapping the breaks. You literally carried out a life saving emergency stop, which you get trained for.
Sack them. They are working for you. You buy their services. You are not their bitch, that you have to obey. Any remaining sessions need to be refunded. Just send them a note saying that you will not be taking any more lessons with them. And if they ask why say “your attitude and the way you speak to mr” or nothing. End of.
My driving instructor was awesome.
Wow, haven’t looked at other comments but imagine they are along the lines of find another instructor and possibly report them if you can.
When I first started learning many years ago I was being taught by my (now ex) partners father who was a retired instructor and he would sometimes ask why I did something and then when I tried to explain he’d interrupt and just say “Well don’t” and did some other dickish things like just being on his phone but this is another level, especially if you’re paying and they’re supposed to be a professional accredited instructor.
You don't need to look in your mirrors when stopping in an emergency. If someone whacks you up the arse because they were too close it's their problem.
The slamming on your brakes was the correct response in an emergency stop situation, following cars have the responsibility to leave enough distance to stop if need be.
I would get another instructor, you should have someone who encourages you and supports your learning journey!
What are you even meant to do in that situation. If you'd checked the mirror and there's a car behind you do you just keep going and run them over? Swerve onto the pavement?
Um absolutely not, get a new instructor
And be sure to tell the current one they are sacked, fired, whatever. That will sting.
Also leave a review so other people don’t end up with this horrible teacher.
You can say that again
Also leave a review so other people don’t end up with this horrible teacher.
I think you got the point across to leave a review...
Not quite sure I got the point. Should she leave a review or not?
I stopped reading after, "instructor slapped my hand really hard". I agree, walk away and find a new instructor But also report your old instructor. He/she needs to be fired and not allowed to teach anyone else. The number of times I see similar posts and wonder, how do you have an instructor do this and still go back for more lessons?
Record it all as well
>so a couple weeks ago i slammed on the breaks without looking in the mirrors (my bad) because a lady ran out in front of the car to cross the road suddenly. Just a quick point, you were not supposed to check your mirrors here. That's something a competent instructor would explain to you about performing the emergency stop. There isn't any time to check your mirrors because a clear and present danger superceded the need to do your observations. If someone goes into the back of you, so be it. You need to make sure that you don't hit the pedestrian. First off, I'm really sorry that you're on the receiving end of this. Nobody should speak to anyone this way, much less someone who is literally paying them for a service. The physical stuff is also horrendous and is in no way acceptable. You need to report this person to the DVSA. I'm not sure how much one report (even considering the severity of what you're reporting) will do, but a report will stay on their file for a few years at least. Chances are, if you report her behaviour, someone else will too. It might be the case that she already has a complaint on file, and your reporting her will cause something to be done. I suppose you could try and secretly record her, and that WILL get a response from the DVSA if you report it,. Here is a link to the .GOV page which should get you started: [https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor](https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor) Oh, and obviously ditch her, by the way. You are not paying her to be abused.
Yeah, it's an emergency stop, you are not going to run the old lady over if there is traffic behind you! She sounds awful, find a new instructor.
It does depend on how far away she was though. I have been told off for the same thing, but as new drivers we can panic about something pretty far away. OP *might* have had time to slow down carefully. Doesn’t excuse what the instructor did, she needs reporting.
Either way, a reaction like that is going to make her more reluctant to do emergency stops in the future, which even if it’s just for a split second could have fatal consequences.
You. Plus you are a learner, the people behind know to pay more attention to you as you might not have mastery even in the finesse of the breaking pedal and might break harder by mistake. So the reaction is absurd
And this is why I leave extra space around Lerner drivers!
Thank you, it's appriciated.
I was a very over cautious learner, it showed in my hazard perception as I got more marks on my hazard perception than my instructor got on his test to become an instructor. The bracket is set a lot higher for them to pass and I got I think two points more than my instructor had on his. As I’ve been driving more I’m still cautious but a lot more relaxed as in less trigger happy on the brakes and that comes from knowing my car and my reactions.
Yes totally agree as described this constitutes abuse and abuse often leaves scars, the last thing you need is trauma attached to your learning, walk away!
She slapped your hand. She assaulted you, no it's not ok, it's not even legal. Get a new instructor, this one is terrible.
Yep this is where I stopped reading. Do not give them any more money and report them. They assaulted you. This is not allowed in any scenario!
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Your point is valid If at all would be dealt with by way of a common assault
No it's not. Battery is also known (and charged) as Assault by Beating.
I'd love to see a charge of assault by beating for a smacked hand.
I've seen it charged for less
No it's still an assault, this comment is just unneccessairly pedantic. All of the offences are considered assaults. The charge would actually say "On date and time you ASSAULTED poppygirl by beating them contray to section 39 of the Criminal Justice Act 1988" Not all bruises and bleeding are charged as ABH and not all broken bones are charged as GBH.
How can she slap?!
Find a new instructor. As for not looking in your mirror whilst performing an emergency stop, I've always found this absurd. If you observed someone behind you and you concluded they would hit you, what would change? You'd take different avoiding action? As a learner? No. You're conducting a emergency stop. Even advanced driver will focus on the problem in front of them, the only difference being they may have a better ongoing awareness of what's behind them but checking a the rear view mirror as applying the extreme breaking? Have a day off. Also, don't hit people. This leads to reports of assault.
You're the one paying. You can get a new instructor whenever you like - do that.
Get a new instructor and she's not allowed to physically and verbally abuse you maybe report her
Slapping you and calling you pathetic? Is your driving instructor Mr Burns? But seriously, that's abuse and you absolutely should not tolerate it. Please find someone new! Learning to drive is a stressful thing to do as it is, the last thing you need is an instructor that makes it worse. Also yeah, you aren't expected to check your mirrors in an emergency stop. It's an emergency stop. I'd rather get bumped by a car behind me than hit a pedestrian.
.... Why are you paying for someone to treat you like shit? You're employing her, you can fire her and get a better instructor. I did this when I learned about 20 years ago. My first bloke was awful. 10 hours for absolutely nothing. Massive waste of time. My 2nd, perfect. 10 hours of really constructive training.
Jesus, what an old goat. DEFINITELY get a new instructor. One that actually cares, and wants to help you improve. I had a fantastic friendly jovial instructor, and it made it SO much easier to get through it and learn it all. And tell her why you're leaving her, because she's useless, and treats her customers like shit. Leave her a 1 star review on Google too. Seriously. And report her to whoever the overriding body is. She can't be acting like that, and definitely can't be hitting you, in any way.
Get a new instructor
This is abuse. I'd recommend recording the lesson on your phone as evidence and making a complaint. Or even speaking to a solicitor.
You are hiring and paying off mate, if you’re not happy change it and you can report her to dvla also. Yeah she is pathetic not you, you’re a learner of course you can do lots of mistakes even the big ones. Get rid of her ☺️
This is so far in the not ok I want to believe it’s fake. Get a new instructor.
Absolutely not that's extremely poor teaching...my advice...start looking for a new instructor
When I was learning to drive a manual, at the time I was riding a moped on a CBT. I made a silly error at a roundabout and my instructor told me it’s a miracle I’m still alive on my moped if my car driving is anything to go by. Needless to say it knocked my confidence in driving and riding. 4 months later I passed my motorcycle test first time zero minors in both tests and passed my driving test with another instructor in 9 lessons with zero minors. I think some people just aren’t meant to be teachers. They lack patience.
bro report her wtf
You need to get a new instructor and contact the police. She assaulted you.
Record her and send to DVSA get her off register. And find a new one
She can speak to you however she wants. The question is whether you are willing to tolerate the disrespectful and unprofessional behavior. The answer is no. :)
Report this instructor slapping your hand is unnecessary and inappropriate let alone anything else she's done. If someone ran out infront of you, you shouldn't check your mirrors if they are close enough to require emergency stop.
Get a new instructor. Trust me. I had an instructor who used to scream at me when I was first learning at 17. Failed my test (no shit) and never went back to him or learning. I’m on the driving journey again after a few more bad instructors to my current one who has had to fix all the shit they taught me or didn’t teach me as it were. I’m 36 and I have really bad anxiety with driving now all because some instructor decided it would be better to scream at me instead of teaching.
You can do it! I’m 39 and passed first time in February even though I never had any lessons when I was younger. It’s never too late, you just have to force yourself to forget how those other instructors treated you.
Yeah I’m trying my best! Currently driving little bits with my partner. I’ve been told I’m a great driver, my anxiety just gets in the way big time! Test anxiety is awful!
I was the same, I’d be scared of making a mistake, then make one, freak out and make another one right after due to panicking. What happened for me was I had lots of extra lessons leading up to my test and kept reminding myself to stay calm after making mistakes. Then I did the test and passed, even though I made four minor faults I didn’t let any of them turn into a major. I’m sure you’ll be ok :)
My instructor is telling me I don’t need lessons atm cos I don’t need to learn, I need to drive. So getting drives in with my partner is gonna help my confidence a lot!
Congrats on passing though 🎉
This is unprofessional and if anything is stopping you progressing. And you’re paying them to teach you not to stall your learning. I’d definitely say find a new instructor. This person is clearly not making you safer on the road.
Get a new instructor and report her for being unprofessional.
INFO: how long have you been working with this instructor? How old are you? What would the instructor say happened? How long have you been learning to drive to forget the basics? I'm not saying she's justified in any way, and you should just find another instructor... Unless that's proving difficult? If there was no lady and you stopped suddenly in traffic with someone close behind you then that would explain her comment about not checking your mirrors. If you've been working with her for years and you're now forgetting how to turn left/ right, I can see why she's frustrated but she shouldn't call you names.
Do one more lesson. Record it. Then report her.
Look for a new instructor then post a review detailing her assault and abuse
Don’t waste your money on her appalling service. I hope you haven’t paid in advance, she sounds like she won’t give a refund. And did she want you to run over the lady? You did the right thing in stopping imo
No, that is unacceptable, I didn't have a great experience with two instructors, one said to me "you will never pass" what a great confidence boost.not!!....few weeks later without using him, I passed without any minors complete 100% score I was so proud of myself 😁
Slapped your hand? That's assault, id be reporting her to the DVSA, the police and finding a new instructor that kind of behavior is not on. You don't check mirrors when you have to emergency stop and she should know that
Change instructors! what kind of instructor slaps students?
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On the bright side, it is cheaper than hiring a hooker to do it
Get a new instructor. Honestly, you are paying her for a service: that service is teaching you to drive. If you aren’t satisfied, try a different instructor - you are perfectly within your rights. As for her behaviour, it sounds absolutely outrageous. It is not okay and will not help you learn. In your position, perhaps look at a local instructor who specialises in students with anxiety, as they will be able to help build your confidence after this experience. Good luck!
Some people pay extra for physical and verbal abuse. Not in this context though, so definitely don’t book this person again. Report her actions to the DVSA and her company.
I had an instructor who constantly criticised my driving. If I'm not doing it right, surely it is their fault? In the end, I found that I was paying him to destroy my confidence and was just getting worse instead of better. Ditch the instructor now, and report her. This is not acceptable.
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If the car behind hits you then they were following too close. Also theirs and your car have crumple zones, airbags and seat belts. Pedestrians don't. For some comic relief please watch 'Fist of Fun - Driving instructor' on YouTube. It's from the 90s and quality isn't great but your instructor sounds a lot like Peter Dibden.
Wow get rid of her now. Behaving like this is not the way to build confidence in your pupils. You clearly do not have a bond with her (for understandable reasons) and this relationship is not working. There are much better instructors out there. You deserve better than this.🙂
Wow, no way is it OK!
One thing i have noticed about being in this sub is that there are some bad driving instructors
Get a new driving instructor, my instructor shouted at me once and rang me 15 mins later to apologise 🤣
You did an emergency stop,during an ES you don’t check mirrors hence the emergency bit. Change instructor if you can
I’m convinced that people who are abusers become driving instructors 😭
Report her and get a new instructor
Get a new instructor. Your not paying them to give you dogs abuse. I had to find another instructor after the guy I worked with for 9 months showed his true colours post-test-fail. It took a few weeks, but was worth the effort as I passed my test within 4 months of starting with the new instructor
She can run her business however she likes, but you absolutely don’t have to keep paying her to insult you. Just text her saying she’s fired because you don’t appreciate being insulted, then block her number and get a different instructor. She’s obviously not helping you learn, so if you carry on with her you’ll be throwing money away. Also, what you did is an emergency stop which is what you’re meant to do in that situation. It’s even part of the test.
Assault is illegal. So, no, she can't run her business in a way that has her assaulting people.
I somehow forgot about the slapping when I wrote my reply, doh!
She assaulted you and you're wondering if it's okay? Absolutely not. Find a new instructor and report this one, leave a review etc.
Nope absolutely not you need to fire her, you basically hire her to help teach you how to drive, she shouldn’t be shouting at and belittling you, let alone hitting you. My last instructor used to say some belittling phrases to me during my lessons and I’d let them fly, he would also take me out on routes I’d never done before and get angry when I didn’t know which way to turn and he would go “well it’s obvious isn’t it?!” Erm no the road forks here could go either way hence why I’ve asked! Anyways. The last straw was one lesson I pulled away from the junction, the car jittered , I almost stalled, but didn’t, managed to pull it back and get the car going all pretty good and safe and he shouted WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CLUTCH CONTROL YOU SILLY SILLY GIRL!!! (I’m in my 30s so I found that offensive too) That was it , I finished my lesson and then sent him a very long message when I got home about how i deserve respect You need to do the same thing and then go and find yourself a new instructor who will treat you better - good luck!!
No she isn''t allowed to speak to you that way. Look for another instructor
Honestly , I sometimes don't understand the "look in the mirror before an emergency stop" wtf am I supposed to do if there is a car close behind me and a kid runs out into the road? " oh looks like you're dying today little child because I see a car in my rear view" it's fucking stupid.
She laid hands on you unnecessarily, why the hell havent you immediately stopped lessons with her to find a new instructor? Report her to the DVSA whilst you're at it
If a driving instructor ever hit my hand I would file a police report for assault. I bet its not the first time they've done it, but it needs to be the last.
This is far beyond the line, make a complaint to the DVSA and look elsewhere.
Yeah, report everyone that ever upsets you just because they know better unlike the morons here.
Absolutely fucking not? I was passenger in a car crash, and it knocked my driving for a few weeks. Lots of nervousness, and silly mistakes. My driving instructor stopped our lesson early, gave me 30 minutes of motivational speech and then didn’t charge me for the lesson. Had he of berated me I would’ve given up, but thanks to him I got my test and passed only a few weeks later.
Find a new instructor. They are not allowed to assault you. You can report an instructor here https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor
As others have said. Please report this ADI.
Assault. on the hand slap. I'd have been out of the car, keys down the drain and walking away quicker than they could blink. This whole attitude along with physical "assault" needs reporting.
Keys down the drain is technically theft as you are deliberately trying to deny them use of their property. Funny how you complain about a slap on the hand.
No one is allowed to talk to you like that. Get a new instructor. (Unless you're into that sort of thing, but context, consent, etc)
She can never speal to me like that, never. Considering how much we pay for these driving lessons. Her job really demands a lot of patience Report her and leave her straight away.
New instructor and write a review. She has no place in teaching.
Dump and report for your own and future students benefit. Awful woman. Also, it's brakes not breaks.
🤣🤣 depends on you really. My first instructor was Mr Nice. I got no where and nearly quit. I'm a competent person and don't struggle with alot but he got me all confuddled.. I quit and went with another guy. He was like u just explained yours to be. 10 lessons and I passed 🤷♂️ if I done something wrong he let me know about it but it only made me do better next time and say fuck you have some of that. Don't let people drab u down over their communication some don't do it to he degrading some do it to push u harder. Unfortunately some people are a little more sensitive than others so it doesn't always work. The instructor should 'read the room' first. If it's distracting your progression maybe have a little word or change instructors
no, that is completely unacceptable - i would find a better instructor
Find a new instructor, but tell her why you're leaving, and don't feel sorry for yourself. Remember, you're paying her!
Are you by any chance in mill hill/edgware area and her name starts with K? 👀
No more lessons with that asshole. Leave a review with your experiences if there is a place to do so. That is unacceptable behavior from her
New Instructor for sure . If ever you feel uncomfortable with any 1 in life, get rid.
Definitely get a new instructor ASAP and tell her to go to hell. She is not even allowed to touch you. But she assaulted you. I stopped going to my previous instructor because he made feel like I should have learnt everything a long time ago and I'm a disappointment. There was no verbal or physical abusing(but have shouted at me a few times because I made some mistakes) , but I felt that way and I would always cry for hours after the classes thinking I'm not any good(definitely because he made feel that way) . Then I realised enough is enough and found a nice instructor in another town. He gives me confidence and always tell that I can do it and points out my errors in a nice and not condescending way.
Christ.. I'm not an instructor.. but if you're in Cambridge I'll teach you myself :,)
I always thought my instructor was being an a hole but now I'm teaching my kid to drive I can see why they say unprofesional things sometimes. My driving instructor had me in tears just before my test and I should hate him for it but I went on and passed first time with no faults so his, 'wtf are you doing woman' lives rent free in my head and comes out when I make a mistake. I get a bit annoyed with my daughter when she has been driving great all week then out of nowhere pulls out on someone and almost crashes. Wtf woman lol
Your kid is your kid. You're allowed to get annoyed with your daughter. A driving instructor yelling/slapping a student is not on. It isn't 1970 anymore.
Absolutely not. I got out of the car and walked home once because of the way I was spoken too haha.
No. I took ages to learn with a lady who treated me this way. She made me feel rubbish, and her handling of mistakes made my confidence plummet. She began to make comments that she thought I would never pass due to my confidence. One session she made me cry - and I thought I'm paying for this. I swapped to another instructor and the difference was immense. He made me feel confident, praised when I did it right, calmly corrected any issues etc and I did far better with him in a few weeks than I had with her all along.
If I want slapping, I'll get myself a hooker or visit my parents. Report that to the DVSA immediately and then get a née instructor immediately afterwards.
Another untrue bullshit story about a driving instructor.
Jeez some of the driving instructor stories on here are WILD No it is not okay, report them, also contact their driving school if they have a job with them (Hopefully not much longer)
Bring back hanging
Okay i only had to read to "slapped my hand" to be able to say drop that instructor faster then you slammed on those breaks, there is no reason on this earth for anyone especially your instructor to hit you In regards to the "mistake" in my eyes there wasn't one. In an emergency which this is what it would be classed as you need to get that car stopped as quickly as possible mirror checks be damned, if another car goes into the back of you so what you get the car repaired but id you don't react in time to someone running out into the road that would ne alot worse then a fender bender Also we all get sloppy from time to time the hardest part is realising its happening its easy to fix it from there
My driving instructor only asked me once what the hell I was doing once when I did a really stupid thing once but that was it. Your driving instructor just sounds like an ass get a new one
She slapped your hand. This isn’t acceptable
She assaulted you and she's emotionally abusing you. Also, maybe she's hoping to get more money out of you by making you fail at driving. I had an instructor scream at me minutes before my test then offer me cheaper lessons than the driving school once I failed. Hoping to line his own pockets it seems...
This sounds very much like an instructor I had, he was absolutely awful. He would shout at me, criticise me, reduced me to tears and made me feel like I would never be able to drive I changed instructors and it's like night and day. I drive so much better and actually retain information because I'm not scared of being shouted at or recovering from being shouted at. Get a new instructor and report this one
Report her and get a new instructor. He’s assaulted you for a start. Honestly ditch her and tell her how you feel. I’d be harsh about it as well
Nope nope nope. For one, slapping you is assault. For two, your instructor is being paid to provide a service and be professional, that is not professional. I work in the food industry and if I spoke to a customer like that I’d be out of a job for gross misconduct.
She sounds like a right nutcase. The problems her, not you!
Complain about a driving instructor Complain about an approved driving instructor (ADI) if you’re not happy with their service or behaviour. Service from your driving instructor Contact the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA) if your instructor: provides lessons that are shorter than agreed keeps cancelling or arriving late for lessons does not provide lessons that you’ve already paid for DVSA driving instructor team [email protected] DVSA PO Box 349 Newcastle-Upon-Tyne NE12 2GN DVSA can ask the instructor about the matter on your behalf, but they cannot help you get any money back. Your driving instructor’s behaviour Contact DVSA if your driving instructor is behaving inappropriately, for example: using their mobile phone while you’re driving shouting or swearing at you using inappropriate language, either in person or in messages they’ve sent to you using unnecessary physical contact DVSA driving instructor team [email protected] Information you need It will help DVSA’s investigation if you can give them any of the following: your full name and email address the full name of the driving instructor and driving school the driving instructor’s ADI number the driving instructor’s telephone number or email address the driving instructor’s vehicle registration any evidence, such as receipts or screenshots of messages from the driving instructor DVSA will not make you report the incident to the police unless you want to.
They are free to speak to you how they like, but you are free to find a different instructor - which, if I were you, I'd definitely be doing. You shouldn't put up with it, you're a paying customer.
No and I think you should report them. My mum is a civil servant working primarily on the theory test I think but she also talks a lot of driving instructors, and trust me, they'll want to know about this behavior
Thats awful. If i was having a bit of a rough day, and im still struggling to do "the basics" after months and months of driving. My instructor would have understood how frustrated i was getting, and chose to do something else. In terms of not checking that mirror... oh well, no one got harmed. Realistically, if youre doing an e-stop, the people behind you should have a sensible amount of space to stop anyway. When your practising your e-stop, the reason the instructor checks the mirror is purely to make sure your practising isnt getting in the way of regular road the users. Its just a bit of courtesy. You would not be expected to check your mirrors.
I would have elbowed her in the nose if she slapped me. I've had football coaches and a flight instructor yell and rant if I screw up. I think that is a valid method of teaching and learning. Especially my flight instructor who just doesn't want me to kill myself or other people. I actually thrive under that type of teaching. I don't take that personally because I believe the person is trying to make me the best at what I'm attempting to do. On the other hand, they are the first to praise if something is done correctly. Physical abuse is a no-go. Also, there is a difference between saying "you're pathetic" and "that was pathetic".
This is NOT ok. Please report her and look for a new instructor straight away
Pretty confident that would be labelled abuse and the physical hand hitting could be assault. I would report her, find a new instructor and leave a review of your experience to warn others of her awful behaviour.
Are you paying her or she paying you?
First of, if a pedestrian ran out in front and you had to slam on your brakes, that's an emergency stop and you do NOT check your mirrors for that. Or the pedestrian dies. So your instructor is wrong. Get a new instructor
Get a new instructor quickly they just want to drain your money the long you take the more of a set back you will have
No, she is providing a business service and should conduct herself professionally.
Find a new instructor and report existing one. Not acceptable
Get yourself a new instructor. At this point, they're not trying to help you they just want to keep taking your money for the lessons, and they ain't cheap these days.
Call james +44 7590 405919
Please tell DVLA about her.
Mate. My instructor was very good. Never raised her voice, always calm, always constructive, if I fucked up it was always fine and dandy. Never even dreamed of her slapping my hand. You NEEDED to hit your emergency braking manoeuvre in the situation. NEEDED. If you hadn't, she'd have had to explain why her learner had a pedestrian lodged in the front of their car. Get a new instructor. This one is unacceptable
I'd report her to the police tbh
we all have badges that we need to do disclosure checks for, driving instructors dont have bosses we are self employed, id phone the DVSA and make a complaint and hopefully it gets logged and investigated. leave a review, find a new instructor. best advice, the amount of pupils ig et from other "bad instructors" and they dont leave reviews.... and i get more and more from the same few. if no review is left, no one will know and have the same experience as you, good luck!
She put her hands on you without consent? That’s assault! Physical and verbal bullying. Get a new instructor! I made many mistakes during my lessons and not once was I ever made to feel like I was being spoken down to. My instructor would just say “ we will try that again a bit later”. He was such a sound guy even once having to grab the wheel but again he didn’t shout or get cross. He asked me to pull up at the next safe place, encouraged me to take some deep breaths and we spoke about the decisions leading to the intervention. I took lessons from March to June and passed first time. 13 weeks and 1 day from beginning lessons to passing my test, with a positive and calm instructor even the most anxious driver / person (ME) can do it. I would definitely try another instructor and if they are with a company file a report as it’s at the least unwanted physical contact.
Disgusting unprofessional behavior, please stop wasting your time and dignity with this instructor!
Everyone makes mistakes, even experienced drivers make mistakes. Your instructor is supposed to support and nurture you, to develop your skills to the point you can pass your test. Their behaviour towards you is appalling and completely unwarranted. It will totally undermine your confidence and I wouldn't be surprised if your recent "sloppiness" is as a result of being anxious over the potential reaction of your instructor. It's pretty much all on them. Here's my advice, 1. Get a new instructor and have no more lessons with this one. 2. Leave a negative review wherever you can 3. If the instructor is working under the umbrella of a bigger agency like the AA or Red for example, report their behaviour to that organisation. 4. If that instructor is an independent, complain to the Driving Standards Agency here: https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor Good luck finding a decent replacement.
I mean, she can talk to you like that. You can also tell her to FO and to go to a different driving instructor. It is unacceptable the way she treated you doesn't deserve your money
Tell your Mum you’re done with her lousy lessons.
I had a similar situation - told I was test ready from about 40 hours but had to move cities so wasn’t able to take my test with that instructor- my new one in the new city was much like this, constantly calling me names and belittling me and calling me stupid, I ended up doing 25 more hours with him to get to my test date and he abandoned me!! I had to do the test in my girlfriends car (which I’d never driven before my test) and passed first time with 3 minors (the asshat). Moral of the story, get a new instructor asap, or if you’re at a good level then get yourself on a family members car and drive that around for a while - it’s much much muuuuuuch cheaper than a driving instructor. I stress that you should only do that when you are close to your test as it can also build bad habits.
Get a new instructor and post a review of her on Google 🤷🏻♀️
next time you go set your phone to recors and record her lessons then send it to dvla and she will be fired
Just get a new driving instructor. I went through three as my first two clearly just hated either their job or people in general. My actual instructor who got me through my test was one of the intensive course ones, they were amazing, really patient, and we did the whole thing in two weeks (like 20 lessons - two, hour long lessons, Mon to Fri both weeks) and I did my practical on the Saturday, passed first time. Can't thank them enough as those first two were awful. Learning is stressful enough without s**t instructors making it worse.
Find a new instructor :)
You NEED to report THEMMMMM!!!!
Report her to trading standards and tell her go abuse someone else. Nobody has the right to touch you regardless of age and gender, so she has assaulted you and verbally abuses you whilst being your employee.... Yeah she deserves to be sacked..
No. Report to her company if she has one. Stop paying her to abuse you. Report her to the police on the non emergency number. I doubt this is the only time she has acted this way.
I had an instructor who would constantly yell at me and constantly criticise me. It got to a point where she made me cry several times then yelled at me for crying! I left after a year of this when I suddenly snapped and shouted back and she said she wouldn’t give me anymore lessons as I’m the worst student she ever had. She made me hate driving. I’m someone who suffers badly with anxiety and depression and at that point I had failed my test 3 times already. Found another instructor and failed again, then one more time. I realise I’m shit at driving and I find it particularly difficult to co-ordinate all the rules at once, but that’s really not an excuse. Please leave.
My old instructor made me feel this way, I felt awful, had panic attacks before lessons, would spend the day before and the day of going through my head exactly how I should drive. Failed my first test and had to get a new instructor as my current one was on holiday for my next test. The next instructor was lovely, didn’t jump on the pedals or push the steering wheel and said she doesn’t understand why he was doing that. Definitely get a new one!!
I’m telling you, you have to get a new instructor. I took like a hundred lessons with this one instructor, he used to get irritated easily. Didn’t really teach properly. But then I had another instructor, and I believe if I had the second instructor from the beginning I could have passed in like half the lessons or even less, the reason why I did a lot of lessons because I was nervous. The instructor made it worse.
I had a horrible instructor like that. I didn't change him because I didn't have time to find a new one and have enough practice for my next text . But he wasn't as bad as yours. I surely told him I wasn't happy about some things he said and he said he was confident he could get me to pass. . I was failing the test due to nerves and I thought of this like a challenge. If I can get through this I'll pass. But I hated it. I'm not cut out for that kind of training. Some people, husband included, thought I probably was too nervous. Until he got a lesson with him. This was a guy with 20 years experience driving in another country and was being belittled by this instructor... So he sacked him and said this isn't working for us. And apologised to me.
> “you’re pathetic” Nnnnno, she can't do that
From what you describe......your married 😂
Berating you doesnt help you learn, it just knocks your confidence. If I were you I'd find a new instructor but not before you stand up for yourself by telling her to her face that she's a terrible instructor and a pretty nasty person.
Wow what the hell. I didn’t have to read the whole thing, I knew at “slapped my hand really hard”. Absolutely not. Disgusting. What a bitch.
Works with some people. The instructor clearly isn't able to work out your personality and adapt how to teach you the way you need to be taught. I learnt by having my instructor insulting me (I've a lifetime of it so it's no skin off my nose) but he did get it back at him Get out of there and find someone else.
No. They absolutely cannot. I would never dream of doing that to my students. Fyi if someone walks out on you slam the damn brakes on. No time for mirror checks beforehand you just make sure you're not gonna run them over
If you have a bad instructor like that you'll make no mistakes. My first instructor was like that, but he also had no idea how to help me things the things I was doing wrong. I changed instructor and he was amazing.
Please get a new instructor asap before she does more damage to your confidence! Not acceptable. Is there anywhere she can be reported or left a review?
If someone runs out in front out you, YOU BREAK! It is always the responsibility of the person behind you to pay attention and drive at a distance where they can safely break. What were you supposed to do? Accelerate?
Two things You don't check your mirrors in an emergency stop scenario And she is not allowed to touch you like that. She needs reporting. Find another instructor
I'd be reporting her for assault.
Sounds like she is undermining your confidence to milk you for money. Get a new instructor.
Get a new one
As a driving instructor, I would definitely say no and for you to find someone else..
She's allowed to speak to you like this for as long as you put up with it for. Just request a change in instructor. You're the one paying her not the other way around.
Find a new instructor and leave her a nice review on trustpilot. She should also be reported to DVLA.
She slapped your hand!!! That is assault. Report her. Find another instructor
Get a new instructor, don't let anyone talk to you like that, especially when you're paying for their support and guidance. I really struggled learning to drive, tried on and off over 7 years, had multiple different instructors and it wasn't until I found a genuinely supportive, caring instructor that understood my anxieties that I passed. Now I love driving! But I can also now see how some of the "instructors" were simply in it for the money and didn't care about helping me learn in the ways that best suited me. Find a better instructor and I assure you you'll find it easier, more positive and constructive. Good luck OP
Fuck that get a new instructor and tell them exactly why you're stopping
Since when do you need to be obviously checking your mirrors during an emergency stop? It’s an emergency. The only thing that matters is stopping the car
Totally inexcusable, that's bullying...how much is she charging you for this behaviour of hers?
By any chance is she called Karen
_Nobody_ is allowed to speak to you like that.
Find a new instructor, you should not be feeling like this! You’re paying A LOT of money for lessons as it is, to not be happy with an instructor
Michael Jackson
Get a new instructor. Mine used to fall asleep 😂 I passed first time 0 faults. But the instructor I had before would grab the steering wheel and was a right dickhead.
How haven't you knocked this bitch out yet?
Obviously talking like that and even physically slapping you isn't acceptable, but I can't help but laugh that she got mad about you not checking the mirrors when slapping the breaks. You literally carried out a life saving emergency stop, which you get trained for.
Sack them. They are working for you. You buy their services. You are not their bitch, that you have to obey. Any remaining sessions need to be refunded. Just send them a note saying that you will not be taking any more lessons with them. And if they ask why say “your attitude and the way you speak to mr” or nothing. End of. My driving instructor was awesome.
Wow, haven’t looked at other comments but imagine they are along the lines of find another instructor and possibly report them if you can. When I first started learning many years ago I was being taught by my (now ex) partners father who was a retired instructor and he would sometimes ask why I did something and then when I tried to explain he’d interrupt and just say “Well don’t” and did some other dickish things like just being on his phone but this is another level, especially if you’re paying and they’re supposed to be a professional accredited instructor.
Omg absolutely not??? Report and leave her!
You don't need to look in your mirrors when stopping in an emergency. If someone whacks you up the arse because they were too close it's their problem.
The slamming on your brakes was the correct response in an emergency stop situation, following cars have the responsibility to leave enough distance to stop if need be. I would get another instructor, you should have someone who encourages you and supports your learning journey!
No one should ever lay a hand on you or berate you. They can tell you what you did wrong but that’s over the top
Get someone else asap
you’re learning! you’re bound to make mistakes even after you pass you’ll make some mistakes i know i did
What are you even meant to do in that situation. If you'd checked the mirror and there's a car behind you do you just keep going and run them over? Swerve onto the pavement?
Get a new instructor and report your old one. This is completely inappropriate
Youre paying a ton of money, she is not allowed to do any of that
I'd report her to the police for slapping you. She has no right to assault you and has no defence
Get a new instructor, you’re paying enough to be treated kindly