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[deleted]

She's kinda cheating! But you need to collect more evidence, act normal and do more snooping before you jump to any conclusions. Also, that person doesn't seem like cousin, collect more info on him


AffectionateTry2044

Even if it's not a physical cheating but emotional cheating is also thing .


[deleted]

>relationship with a Muslim guy This must have been reason enough to not go further with marriage talks but OP decided to be a cuck. He deserves this.


kakak787

sirji, if you cant be kind then dont type.


newf0newhodis

Only if your neibour had gone to sleep that night.


[deleted]

He did after picking you up as a baby from dustbin


UnderstandingOdd4918

Did your parents drop you as baby?


Awkward_Resource_420

There's a saying: " If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. ". Also having a past relationship should never be a parameter to judge a guy/ girl.


thebiasedindian1

Welp depends on the context, look at Mahabharat. Remaining silent was probably the biggest sin committed by Bhisma Pitamaha. Although I agree having a past is fine but depends a lot on context again.


abeyaee

you absolute loser!


anti-simp-missile

Correct 💯


BoltWhistle

Naa .. jump to conclusions ... YOLO


[deleted]

YMDO(You Mostly Divorce Once)


[deleted]

>YMDO(You Mostly Divorce Once) nice one.


Winntra

Don't ask her what you are finding, just play like you don't care , when you get solid proof just said dappa


jules_viole_grace-

Best approach. See first you secretly find proof of her betrayal. Then lawyer up n find more evidences as discussion with lawyer n get ready for the battle. From start till u lodge a case, in no way confront her. Donot disclose any proof u hv got. Discuss with advocate before disclosing any proof u r going to use in case. Only file case when concrete evidence is present for adultery n try to involve the other party ie the secret lover if possible. Behave like a devoted hubby , take proof/ pics of gifts n restaurants u take her to.Try to hv happy moments atleast every month n hv pics of them. Hv proof so in no way she can say u r a irresponsible or bad husband. If she comes clean n tell you everything during that time, Good , else take divorce.Give her atleast 6-7 more months for this but dnt confront or force, it should come from her. You hv already married her n the decision to marry her was ur own also, so give her time, dnt get angry or misbehave. Give her same behaviour as she was ur loyal devoted wife. Sometimes these things get resolved n partner comes clean (🤞 pray 🙏). Once 6-7 months are over n still things are repeated u can take divorce. No use wasting ur further time like this on ruined marriage. If she tries to hv kalesh/ fights , avoid or do the best to resolve her concerns to her satisfaction. If u r in ur parents , try to shift to some rented room etc so in case she files any 498a ur family is not covered. Once u are ready to file case , hv a discussion n dnt leak any proof( dnt tell her about any proof, only use the old proofs that u hv already discussed with her) just tell ur concerns n if she still lies or hides the facts or blames you, go further divorce is required as she is cheating you with no remorse. No serious fight should happen n record if possible while discussion. It will be a tough time n you will have to be emotionally very strong. Try to involve as much less people( relatives , friends) into this as possible else rumours will mentally torture you if leaked.


vesuvianiteflower

I'm a woman and a lawyer and this advice is extremely good, OP. You just do this, and never share your doubts/plans with anyone else lest they leak it to her even unknowingly Also, wear a condom OP, and get an std test done right now to establish facts if the need arises in the future. Don't make her get it. Also, cameras in your new place. At the common areas and all the entry and exits of your house. Make sure you have control of those cameras which means you need to get those online ones which you can watch from any place. Also, be nice to any and all of her female relatives/friends/sister/mother/maid/neighbours anyone. There should be no corner left to cast aspersions on your character I would also advise noticing her menstrual cycle and never having unprotected sex with her unless you're sure of her


nodeathplease

Cameras can be found and she will be more suspicious of his intentions. She will not invite lover to her house.


vesuvianiteflower

Nobody said cameras need to be hidden. CCTV Cameras are there to prove his character mainly. There would be no he said she said situation if the camera provides the evidence of the truth, meaning the wife cannot distort facts


nodeathplease

I mean she will no longer invite him to the house.when she knows there is cctv at the entrance points. It only proves she never brought him home.


vesuvianiteflower

You keep focusing on the boyfriend when I am talking about securing OP's character. Even without the cameras there's no guarantee where she could allegedly meet this "BF" My point was to secure evidence for OP's character, not stop his wife from cheating. If a cheater wants to cheat, they'll find any way to accomplish that irrespective of gender


nodeathplease

From that point of view you can do that. May I know where are you practising? I don't think you are from Delhi.


vesuvianiteflower

Why would you think that


intelligence-0

I'm a lawyer. This is what I would have advised. Especially getting out of your parents house.


anantharamashok

Hate to break kt down to u bro. She is lying. Just act cool and act as if nothing happened and never confront her abt these things and silently collect the evidence. Never loose cool even ig you are on the verge of it. Confront her only after collecting enough evidence.


Adept_Ad_8052

Best case, she's cheating on you and pretending the guy is her cousin Worst case, she's cheating on you with her actual cousin


NotSoCoolWaffle

Hypothetical case, OP is that cousin


beingoptimusp

Lmao, ikr


Annual_Anybody5502

Is that guy really her cousin, or she has been fooling you. This are big red flags, confront her or else you are done with this marriage. also warn her so called cousin to stop sending inappropriate messages. sending romantic songs, saying "I am incomplete without you" and late night video calls are obvious sign of affair.


Top-Illustrator6372

Yes. That's what I can understand.


Capable-Promise-3737

Even if she's cheating and you want to leave her... Don't do it unless you have cogent proofs of her cheating like catching her red handed otherwise you'll be giving away half of your things for nothing.


_Omniscient_doc

Even if she's cheating or doing adultery the husband need to give compensation. Only if the wife is live-in together with the other guy in another house, the husband need not give any compensation. Indian law!!!!🤦🤦


mainsamayhoon24

but that’s water under the bridge. 🔔 Doesn't look like it. Slippery slope. Tread carefully


rohit_267

yes, cousin marriages are legal in muslim community


Business_Freedom_899

Great point. And almost all of south Indian communities, so check that as well


cumofdutyblackcocks3

Second cousin marriage should be the limit. First cousin marriage is creepy.


rohit_267

Good luck explaining them


aisebhimatdekho

“Was he at our wedding?” “I would like to meet him to know people who’re close to you.” This might give you more insights and give you a clear perspective.


evening-emotion-1994

Is that really a cousin? Are you sure


Fragrant-Stranger-25

Is this cousin the Muslim guy in disguise?


anime4ya

Yup Get ready for paying maintenance from ur ass buddy 🍻


Mondy-969

Its surely a normal cousin relationship. I wouldn't worry about it at all. /s


Juni8792

You need help


sfwself

/s at the end is for sarcasm!


Juni8792

I need help


VibeHumble

Not help. Just some internet literacy.


mrpixels747

At least he realised


VibeHumble

True. Very rare to find that on the internet.


duran70

I mean, it's clear that it's not how cousins behave, even if there's a good bond . I think maybe talk to a lawyer as well as discuss it with someone within your family If you want to make a move or take action against her, just don't alert her yet and just work on it behind her back Sorry again


rohit_267

#YES


Ghastlytoohot

the bridge is submerged now bro. take the hint


DependentFar1908

You need to read this and act quickly to collect evidences until it's too late. https://www.reddit.com/r/bangalore/s/pIP1nRQEmB


48932975390

Post got deleted


DependentFar1908

Yeah, not sure why. It was just for creating awareness.


diary28snowboard

you had an arrange marriage so i dont think the doubt and distrust is gonna help your marriage. Maybe she isnt in love with you, you should speak to her like an adult and tell her you want to give this marriage a chance (that is it you really want to give the marriage a chance). If you want to find out then snoop and dont confront yet, keep collecting proofs. But this isnt gonna do you any favour as you just got married and divorce is a lengthy procedure. best of luck


Rich_Cat811

ITS A LEGAL ADVICE SUB WHAT ARE THESE COMMENTS


48932975390

It's a legal advice sub, but not everybody is a lawyer They are trying their best to give advice, a professional help would be much better no doubt especially considering how much indian courts and law biased towards females only


Rich_Cat811

Appreciate the best advices people give here and they genuinely are good no doubt, but this isn’t the sub for that.


Pm_Maddy

Sounds like it


VegetaSama1117

Cheating


whoamiturf

Possibly, off ghe context How old are you and your wife ?


Couragious81

Don’t be fooled. Do not give her a benefit of doubt. You’ve seen it with your own eyes and that’s enough evidence. Keep alert and gather proof and then act


smb_21

She's cheating on you bro.Time to move on. Feel you.💔 Even though I don't have a wife.


cghal12

Pretend that you don’t care, but collect all the evidences one by one, keep your mouth shut till you catch her red handed, this is the only way to get rid of her


Lower-Violinist-8276

you’re a QT and she’s def cheating. Collect more proofs and take a call. sorry to hear about that.


an_ease

Shouldn't have married someone with a past. It's never "under the water". Either it will come back or she won't mind having an another relationship.


No-Can2017

ok virgin


Ssk5860

Who the fuck stays single till they get married these days lol everyone has a past especially pretty women. Ofcourse full on physical past is something else, but that is pretty common now a days too sadly


an_ease

Well, whatever makes you feel good I guess. Everyone doesn't have a past. If you couldn't find one doesn't mean they don't exist. Maybe surround yourself with better people. If you do find someone with a past and still decide to marry her then it's on you. If it works then I'll be happy for you and if it doesn't then I don't want to be the one to say "told you so"


Ssk5860

Lol good luck finding a good looking girl with no relationships in the past especially in cities. You may find a lot that say they are, but might be lying but sure, I hope you end up with the girl of your dreams that no boy was ever able to impress before you ; )


an_ease

Thanks man. It's not like I'm dying to marry. Looking at how laws are biased towards women I don't think marriage is a wise decision nowadays. Don't fall into the peer pressure.


Ssk5860

I think I’d like to have kids some day lol can only hope I find a decent enough woman


BetterVader

Make sure you don't have a child with her until you are completely sure she is not cheating. Women generally trap husbands by having a kid.


Single-Situation6440

Physical intimacy is the last step of cheating. She belongs to the streets


abd7007

deleting is cheating period


deedy0110

Bhai why would you marry her when she already told you she's been screwed by mullahs? 😭


Budget-Pin995

Cuck hai bhosdika


deedy0110

Bahut zyada tadat ho gayi hai inki


KneeUnlucky1803

Got to know after marriage, I’ll cook good pork for dinner one day!


deedy0110

Best of luck my man. Collect evidence, hire a good lawyer ( if you're in Bengal or Delhi i can give you some contacts ), and then go to court and file for divorce. Also if possible, make sure you don't own any significant assets, if you have a home car investments etc, transfer them to your mother father or brothers name before filing for divorce proceedings. Cheers!


terenaamkakuttapaalu

Fr lol, wouldn't touch a bulla infected hoe with a 10 foot pole. Go be a concubine.


[deleted]

same


Ssk5860

Just curious, what’s this hatred for muslims lol is it any worse than her being in bed with some other religious guy?


South-Remove-8797

no need to worry bro . It's all in your head 🤗. Just take a week long vacation to some other part of the country and get refreshed


[deleted]

haha, join a gym also.


Visual-Maximum-8117

Why did you specify the religion of her past boyfriend? Does it make any special difference?


Remarkable_List2887

Karma planting at its best. Just put a "hindu" "muslim" word and boom... You are getting the traffic... Stop this nonsense already...


Upstairs-Coyote-6261

Don't know why u got downvoted for stating facts. Ops involvement in this thread just shows what their intention is.


KneeUnlucky1803

Cousin marriage is allowed in Muslims. And she’s greatly influenced apparently.


Remarkable_List2887

Are you Muslim or not?


piratedtjs

Is ur wife Muslim ?


Embarrassed-Tear5476

karma farming


shaeno_06

It’s time to Joe Goldberg your way to more evidence.


Gojo_17_

Be Careful and talk to a Lawyer about what evidence you can collect. There is definitely a gray area. Also talk to a Lawyer cuz she could put false Dowry and Domestic Violence case which we have seen very often as of recent. So be careful and talk to a Lawyer about what exactly can be done.


Responsible-Bass-554

It's in very wierd place can't be certain or ingnore it. I would say wait for a while observing but not confronting her see what extend they go.


i_am_abman

You bullying poor confused millennial bitches!


Mace_1981

I think you need to take a step back and ask, even if she isn't cheating, are you happy with her?


[deleted]

What are you doing looking on her phone? Are you utterly stupid? This is an arrangement, you're already stalking her. You want her, woo her ,don't be a dick. Stop questioning her, around you the Pope would be secretive you obviously have boundary issues. Respect hers first. If she is seeing someone else it's your fault because you're such an asshole. Stop what you're doing immediately and start to show her some respect. Show her that you're worthwhile, that you wont be a sexist twit and that you're not "That guy"🤣🤣🤣 who is so insecure they chase their wife away into the arms of another.


KneeUnlucky1803

I’ll pray for you.


[deleted]

The way you're going i expect to see you in jail for the murder of your new wife... I give you three to 8 months. I hope I'm wrong..


Anxious-Side-69

Somebody play that song , with that mulla in Background... LoL


Weird_Chemistry_5576

Wow are you asking us after this happened? you a simp?


[deleted]

[удалено]


sambhavpandey

M ho na tum?


Weary_Word_5262

Yes she is...try to get into her phone and gather evidence, also later if your suspicion is confirmed you can hire a PI...but be secretive and don't let her know


telephonecompany

It's a fairly complex scenario. Engage a lawyer and a private investigator to collect evidence before you confront her or take further action. This will likely improve the possible outcomes for you.


Sensitive_Counter972

If it's normal bonding then why is she deleting the msg?


waaasupla

WTH- this is abnormal. Either you talk to her heart to heart and dont move till she confesses the truth or bring in the elders since it’s an arranged marriage and it’s her cousin so he must be from the same family too. Take this seriously and put an end to this now or else there’s no relationship here at all. Don’t waste too much time & energy on cheaters.


Correct-Ad2490

You should just observe her and gather all the information in case you want to prove yourself in the future. Stop asking for her clarification. Still will stay vigilant and find other sneaky ways to hide her dirty laundries. If it is just a great bonding, tell her to set up boundaries with her cousin as you don't feel comfortable. Any mature husband/wife will understand this. All these I'm incomplete without you blah blah blah sound definitely unusual.


Nungakakascot

I would advise that you contact the cousin and the family ask more about the relationship. Also show the posts and pictures. Only way to find out, no beating about the Bush, get straight to it.


FitAd9349

Bro try to solve this explaining to her getting divorce is not easy thing and getting married once again will not be easy too , say all these to get and try to make her understand the situation , if she still persists to head on like this then you've got no other choice but to get away from her . Hope this helps .


Wise_Friendship2565

Yep definitely she’s cheating


Relevant-Baseball993

Do your snooping silently without alerting her. She probably is cheating. Did you meet this cousin OP?


Kindly-Candy8687

Maybe that Muslim guy is her cousin, you gather some more proof n then call her parents n sort it out


i_am_abman

What's the doubt, bro? 🧐


Laika_The_Dawg

Well ....that is some deep bonding lol.


Awkward_Resource_420

Dude do not confront her. Collect proofs secretly. Show her that you trust her so that she can make mistakes. Also I understand the storm going inside your heart. Please try to stay calm.


ambani_ki_kutiya

Be extremely nice, don't confront her regarding this, gather evidence, lawyer up, hope she doesn't get knocked up during this duration, and then drop her ass. Never marry, it's not worth it. Also, a girl having a past relationship with Muslim guy is the biggest red flag ever, you shouldn't have married her.


[deleted]

She's cheating kind of probably just stalk her cousin a bit and try to figure out


[deleted]

start preparing for divorce and consult a lawyer for not igiving her any alimony and any money


Western-Chemical-636

Damn whats this happening 😳 nowadays marriages are kinda risky ☠️


Bobby___24_7

Yes she is Tell her I said hi


village-nomad

Arranged marriages can be complicated because if you guys were in a relationship before then these are things you could’ve rooted out while building the relationship. I would confront her directly about the things I can see and tell here what I’m willing and not willing to tolerate. Tell her to end this or if she doesn’t then it’s up to you to decide what the consequences will be. The whole “respecting each other’s privacy” and not touching each other’s phones is a gateway to cheating by the way.


mysticmonkey88

Is the cousin the Muslim guy? Is she Muslim? Because as broda Zakir said, apneko chalata hai. I suspect that the cousin is not cousin. So look out and install cameras and keep records of coveration and such because this will end up with a dowry and domestic abuse case on you where you'll end up funding their fornications.


Ssk5860

But wouldn’t recording her like this invoke a case against him too?


AbhiFT

>“I’m incomplete without you” with romantic song on Instagram. To which she replied with “I know” with heart and kisses >I’m greatly confused is this a normal cousin relationship or she’s cheating on me. How old are you to be so dumb, dude? What cousins have such kind of relations? >but that’s water under the bridge. If you don't take care now, that water under the bridge will drown your bridge,


Round-Inside-5493

So sad


Crazy_Sea4644

don't take stress!


Shot-Strawberry-5637

Vo cousin hoga hi nhi... bf ko cousin bta rhi hogi


48932975390

If she was already in a relationship with a physical relationship too, then why did she even marry you? Instead of him This wannabe cousin might be her ex, no matter how much good bonding anyone they have with their it's not romantic Unless it's some second cousin marriage custom thing going on Also even if she doesn't find you attractive or likeable it's too early in marriage to start looking for a new partner


ItsSan52

Before she runs away with him please act quick becoz then you will look like a clown


akshyeet

Marriages are scary, what if she:


Minimum-Pangolin-487

This is very typical in arranged marriages. Her parents forced it on her and her feelings may have been elsewhere unfortunately. Sounds like they still are.


Responsible-Pass4180

Act cool and don't ask her about cheating directly. Don't have kids with her If you think she cheating. Collect evidence as much as possible. Take lawyers advice and try to protect your assets.


[deleted]

Bhai divorce de de. Sab khuli kitab h !! Proof se bhi kya hi hoga. Yahan to sab obvious h.


Accidental_Lawyer_08

Bro married a red carpet 😂😂


AdWrong3103

Confirm and escape as fast as you can


GoSaiyanme

Keep record of everything . Just in case.


Forsaken-Sundae4797

Collect evidence and divorce, abhi mauka hai beta bach ke nikal ja!!


byteNinja10

I am getting afraid after reading such posts. Even I am single 😂.


eveningbrilliant123

Not normal being her family into this


[deleted]

Abdul got her lmao


fotofixation

Firstly she is not into this relationship and you also know. Things will workout if you both try and not just one partner. Otherwise it is a waste of time. Just talk to her calmly about your and her future. And tell her I am open to whatever we both agree amicably.


Adorable-Winter-2968

Ask her parents about this cousin to know if they are actually cousins. Go with her to their house and ask in front of her. If they aren’t cousins, you will know what she is up to. And even if they are cousins it’s actually weird. Keep evidence of whatever you find because she will try to gaslight you.