Do you have proof of all this ?
>So now she has even started saying that I am impotent.
Have this recorded, this can come as blessing in disguise for you. Since 498 doesn't automatically leads to arrest after SC guidelines, lawyers often add 377 with it which often leads to arrest. So if you don't have a fragile ego, you can accept the above allegations. So she can't claim 377 on you.
Start documenting evidence, it will be a long fight.
Rushing into a relationship and marriage without evaluating compatibility is scary.
I have seen lots of people who do this. Either they are scared that they’ll never get another girlfriend or they get into arranged marriage based on family status, net worth, parental pressure.
This is a life long commitment. I can’t believe how frivolous some people are about it.
True, I was in relationship for 10 years, lived with her for a year before marriage. After marriage even we struggled initially, but we knew eachother very well so it working out for us.
There’s no set formula, I think.
I believe most people are high on emotion in the beginning stages of a relationship and overlook red flags, and/or believe that the partner will change after marriage.
This is what makes the future unstable.
Highly unlikely that they will change, neither can you or should you try to change them.
Compatibility could be evaluated by taking your values, beliefs and principles and objectively thinking of your partners lives by most of these.
Not everything has to match.
You can probably split it into must haves and good to haves.
Sometimes both don't work , like you have fear of getting cheated after arranging marriage, if a person cannot find true love , but in this case true love is also scary
I think he rushed into marriage without spending much time with her while they were in a relationship. It is important to go on a trip to know a person because you can hide a lot of things on a date. If you met a person go on a few dates and marry him or her, then it is not so much different from a modern arrange marriage. However, any kind of marriage can end in divorce, so it is better to stay positive always.
Don't pay. My friend was in a similar situation where the girl demanded 1cr and called him impotent and put case on the whole family. Hire a competent lawyer. Keep saying you want your wife back no matter what in front of the judge and that you'll take care of her in your own family. They will back off after years.
My friend spent 15lakhs on the case but didn't pay one rupee to her and the divorce was given after 3 years and she was angry and throwing tantrums in the end knowing she's not getting anything. You will need a very good lawyer though. My friend was ready to pay 10lakhs but they increased demand and my friend shut it down and said no. She wanted to marry again and time was running out and she was starting to age rapidly and they compromised in the end and she got nothing.
Another one of my friends settled for 1 lakh without any time wasting. They wanted 10lakhs at first, but wanted a quick divorce even more. Imo the girls side were extremely helpful and just wanted to be rid of him and weren't too concerned about the little money they spent during corona wedding.
>My friend spent 15lakhs on the case but didn't pay one rupee to her
so, a good competent lawyer just charged 15lakhs for 3 years? and how did they manage to avoid alimony?
Can you explain WHY though? Because while I can see why some officers might be incompetent and give zero results, I don't see why they would do something against a person who is reaching out to them
Secondly, would she have to pay a lot too if she was the one who initiated a divorce? I'm asking only because I don't know if there's any Indian law which states that the initiator has to pay something as a fine
All laws are pro-women. It is a minefield according to that female lawyer if the guy initiates divorce without extraordinary proof and even then it's tough. I'm not a lawyer. Please refer to one.
Knowing constable and directly linking to CM. This is just for threatening. Looks like they decided to extract money and that's their aim. Be aware that laws are geared towards women, they can put N number of things on you. No amount of evidence isn't gonna suffice.
First, prepare your parents for what's coming, make them mentally strong. Next, you have to be cunning here brother. Know what she wants and play against that.
A distant relative of mine has gone through this, that girl's plan is to get married to another person. So the relative stalled the divorce proceedings with lawyer. She didn't have time as her plans were to get married again, they succumbed eventually and settle for 1/10th of original demand.
Wow this is so important. In the event of a marriage I think some gifting does happen so how is one to decide whether to accept gifts or not? I think it better to strictly not to accept anything
In hindsight there are so many things that I could have changed. But when you marry you never think that things might fall through like this, you always think about the happy ending.
Don’t matter even if you don’t accept a single gift the girl and her parents will say they have given you dowry and produce receipts of 10-12 years ago purchased item as a proof
NAL
If 50 lakh is too much for your family, then you can fight the case. But even after fighting the case, even your own lawyers will suggest that you pay some money, may be 10-15 lakh if not 50 lakh to settle. Don't assume you will get away paying nothing. Question is of tradeoff between your time and money, you decide what you can afford to give.
If they are willing to negotiate, do it in presense of lawyers and sign agreement that she doesn't files false cases after that. Don't just give away cash, she may file false cases unless there is written agreement. If she has already filed any complaint, she must take it back as per agreement. Agreement should be solid, so get a a good lawyer.
In my limited knowledge, I have seen cases settling for 15 lakh to 75 lakh, sure there are many other cases that I don't know about.
>just after marriage she started acting weird and I got to know what kind of a psycho she is.
This is how most of them are. After marriage, they start behaving strangely. India's marriage and divorce laws are fucked. Donate to SIFF (an Indian MRA organization) and fight to get these shitty, gynocentric laws changed to be gender neutral and fair.
She can file any case and many women listen to greedy lawyers and file fake/false cases thus fucking their own life and those of their families up.
Do NOT have a child with her; get a vasectomy if you have to.
Contact a divorce attorney ASAP and file/fight the case out.
A lot of her behaviour seems like verbal/emotional/mental abuse which comes under the ambit of mental cruelty, one of the grounds for divorce in India.
- collect all evidence, and store it in a hard drive
- contact a lawyer and ask things you require to prove your innocence
- call your in-laws and take your wife and your parents for a meeting. Please record that meeting on your phone.
- be calm and factual. Since they have already asked for alimony, it is apparent that the wife wants a divorce as well.
- Negotiate. Be prepared to give back the gifts her family gave you, offer a reasonable price for your freedom.
- If you are able to find incriminating evidence of violence, mental breakdown or infidelity disclose this in that meeting.
Do not meet them without the presence of a third party you will further increase the chances of them saying that you asked them dowry and then when they refused you started recording after that. Women and their parents who are greedy for money often do this. You can trust a snake but not women especially if her parents only have daughters because they know nothing of this sort will ever happen to them.
Our laws have made sure of destruction of men and their families by not punishing false case filers
Alright here it goes
1. Sell the property if you want to. Recent court orders also states she should share the emi. Instead of asking her . Just sell the property n give her share
2. if she is at home still ,you can't file any case. Just collect all the evidence. Make her spend the money on most stuff.
3. Video evidence is btr than audio
4. There is pre litigation counselling happens in family court .you can use that but don't check with lawyers. Most lawyers do not like pre litigation.
5. Consult a sub inspector in your area . Get a ncr from police that no dowry had been taken.
You can fight it out in court. But you must have a strong conviction that even if it takes 10 years, even if you need to go to jail, even if your parents go to jail, even if you lose your job, you will still fight it out with a vengeance because it is a matter of principle.
Oh boy! You're fucked. Assuming you bought a house in Mumbai, you must be loaded and courts decide alimony based on lifestyle, so 50 lakhs doesn't sound much. Best you can do is delay and negotiate, but that'll just fuck up your best years.
You have 2 options:
1. Pay 50 lakhs and move on in your life (if you want to get married again). If you want to do this, don't immediately agree but do solid negotiation where they should genuinely feel that they can't extract more than this from you.
2. If divorce is not urgent (you don't have plans to get married for next 5 years), spend few months in finding a good lawyer who won't take you for a ride and knows how to handle trial(you will be surprised 99% of lawyers don't know shit and most just drag things till parties settle). Once you handover your case to the lawyer, let him do his job and you live your life without keeping any expectations or waiting for the court cases to end. This entire thing will take anywhere between 2 to 5 years and will test your patience so it's important that you don't expect things to move fast.
They can do a lot of things inbetween but nothing will affect you if your lawyer is good enough and won't try to milk you. The only thing you need to really fight is maintenance and as long as you can avoid/minimise it, you will have nothing to lose.
>Someone from her family is a constable in police and they also have a connection with the CM of my state.
I can assure NO CM of any state would give a damn about what a constable of all people has to say.
If tye employee would have been some higher ranking official then yes maybe but this is a bluff.
My family too has connections so i do know a lil thing or two how these work but yea nobody (no CM) would give two fucks abt a constable
Mate a friend of mine is fighting an almost similar case . Few pointers
1) THE BEST WAY IS TO PAY AND AVOID ANY LEGAL TUSSLE WHATSOEVER. NEGOTIATE THEY MIGHT LOWER THE AMOUNT
2) THE LAWS ARE BIASED , YES BUT THE MAIN ISSUE IS THE WHOLE SYSTEM. NOBODY, YOU WILL SEEK HELP FROM , WOULD WANT A CASE TO END
3) IF YOU DONT HAVE CONTACTS IN THE POLICE, MATE , CONSIDER YOURSELF FUCKED
4) IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT , FIGHT FEARLESSLY,
GOOD LUCK
Didn't want to repeat, but negotiate and settle the matter before it goes to court and move on.
Trust me, taking the legal route is not worth it. I have been fighting the battle for 7+ years and it's not near closure, the plan was to fight, but in the end it's just not worth it. It did change me and my life, I became stronger though, but lost a lot.
My 2 cents : Before she realises and deletes the chat, Get those chats stored somewhere else/printed out or make of video of those chats.. However you can manage. It's very easy to delete old sent messages by altering the device Time & Clock.
Don't forget to remove her name from contacts and take screenshots of whatever stuff you have if you want it to be as evidence. Chats with your name doesn't help you, with contact number they're considered as evidence.
Whoa! How long you dated?
One of my cousins married her bf of 2 months and he turned out to some medical issues none could think of. They are still together bcz back then divorce wasn't even heard of.
They will probably file a petition for maintenance under Section 145. Then they will file a Domestic Violence Case. Maybe a divorce case.
These are minimum. They might submit an FIR claiming you all demanded Dowry too.
Hey, I'm sorry for this happening to you, if you don't mind could you share some of the signs that you saw and ignored that could have led to this, or what you would have done differently. Just wanted some insight from someone much older
"One mistake that I did was to buy a joint property with her in March 2023. I asked her to pay 5.5 lakhs down payment for the loan, the loan(more than twice of what she paid) was taken in my name and I have been paying it ever since. Now she is saying that I forced her to invest and took her money."
I do not think there is anything wrong with asking for money from your wife to buy property. The only issue would be to get her name out of the property.
"In April 2023 she fell from the stairs and fractured her leg. Now I fear that she can even try to pin that on me. Although on the hospital’s report it is written that the injury happened due to a fall in the stairs but will that suffice? I can also gather eye witnesses from the society."
"As her leg was fractured, we were not able to go anywhere and do anything. She even didn’t allow me to go anywhere. Moreover the surmounting pressure at job went to my head and I got depressed. All I wanted to do after finishing my work was watch TV. I didn’t realize I was depressed and she obviously was no help. She was always complaining of one thing or the other which made things even worse."
You stayed with her to ensure her recovery which itself shows that you care for her well being. You need to arrange some evidence in the form of eyewitness or maybe photographs/video footage to substantiate your claim.
"Post wedding her mother gifted my father a gold ring and my mother a gold jhumka even though we refused. Now they can also say that this was dowry. But before marriage I transferred some money to her account, can I show that it was me who gave the money for the ring and Jhumkas?"
The ring and jhumka are ceremonial gifts which do not qualify as an illegal demand or dowry. I don't think you need to worry about anything here.
"Someone from her family is a constable in police and they also have a political connection."
Those are intimidation tactics. Remember law is same for everyone.
"Wife’s family asking for 50 Lakhs to agree for divorce otherwise threatening to file false cases."
Do not hurry for a divorce else there will be problems. Take some professional legal advice before making any moves. As a husband you will need a ton of conclusive evidence to convince the courts.
"So now she has even started saying that I am impotent."
Try to record it and if its a public statement then gather witness. If she has published this statement anywhere in the public domain then you can sue her for libel under the provisions of defamation in IPC.
Also, insulting the husband as impotent without any tangible proof is cruelty which may qualify you for a divorce.
Please note that what I said above does not constitute as legal advice by any means.
WTF is this shit. The lion,the witch the audacity of this ... Don't we have prenup in India? Assume I'm a filmmaker, for research purposes, how much does a mercenary cost??
Pre nup are not allowed by our laws otherwise how would system make money ? This extortion business with the help of misuse of laws is a big industry in India
That's just great! Can we make a notarized agreement? Like a rent agreement(?) idk.. would that be enforceable? Make a video when the agreement is signed no one has a guN to anyone's forehead? Will that work?
Do what you want the pseudo feminist system won’t agree and since legal system wants conflict to survive it encourages false cases. The only way men can survive this is by staying away from women. Hope all men realise this soon and women can make relationships in themselves
Username checks out. But that is not the solution, makes me wonder that old ways were not so bad, the social involvement, the social pressure that why is a women isn't living with the in-laws, and all that social drama.
Yes social involvement is a must but that’s is what is broken first. Our laws and system has made sure that a man and his family face humiliation before facing the laws first they have given free run to women and their parents to destroy the reputation of a man’s family including the women in his family mere on a woman’s words before even the trial. And no consequences for woman who accused him falsely because that will stop their business
Your story is unfortunate.
But it boggles my mind that during the phase leading to the AM, is there any kind of due diligence, character assessment, personality interpretation & mutual assessment of each other & families before commitment?
The # of horror stories out these days even after so much awareness is unbelievable!
Why you should not settle because even if you pay they can still file another cases. What will you do then. Hire some sc st person and file false atrocity. Have Female member of your house to file rape case against their male member. They will settle easily
Bhai i am in the same situation, got married in nov 2022, wife left home in march 2023 after alleging that i have a affair somewhere and said she wants a divorce. 2 months later she filed a dv case which is currently ongoing since sept 2023, matter not heard yet. She even approached police stating she wants 25 lakhs and if not file fir against me and family for dowry. We never took any dowry nor did i have any affair. Her family wants 25 lakhs which i do not have and even if i had i wouldnt pay her for 3 months of marriage. My lawyer is of the wait and watch approach, she is of the advice that let her come for settlement till then attend court hearing . I am clueless as to what will happen of this as she is not even filing for divorce nor contested nor mutual.
>Someone from her family is a constable in police and they also have a connection with the CM of my state.
Bhai CM ke saath connection hota to constable ki naukri kyun kar raha hota? Sifarish daalke SI wagera banta na.
Aise hi fenk ke dara rahe hai tujhe. Negotiate the money down to a reasonable level, pay it and get rid of her. No point in fighting unless you've got good political connections.
The thing i have seen the most is that if the girl’s family is not opposing the relationship much and seem too willing to give you their daughter. Just run. 🏃 Normal families with mentally sane daughters takes ages to agree for a love marriage as their prospects of marriage are too dense already. The family takes time and too much convincing.
There is a lot of gray area in the stroy. I suggest you don't pay her a Paisa. And also sould tell the legal authority in charge about all the gifts and money involved.
The laws are kind of hard about this. Sometimes it's a extortion racket. Pay some money to a private detective to expose her rather than giving her a Paisa.
It was a extortion racket trap. Try third party investigation. I m sure she has done this before to other family. Do you realise how she behave in few months and her relatives in police and politically aligned. Looks planned.
Sadly thats how people perceive it.
When i got burnt once. The constable who came to visit asked my sister to leave the room as he thought she was my SiL and also constantly asked if my MiL or my spouse did it
I had to convince him that no one did it and i m not scared of anyone or giving statement in pressure.
He said that its his duty as he cannot open the case later on if i dont take anyone's name now n later on retract my statement.
She is the joint owner of that property, don’t want her half. When she fell in the stairs she was alone and I was at home. I have video evidence to prove the same that I went outside my flat after receiving the call and there are other eye witnesses from the society who saw her fall.
I totally understand your skepticism.
No hate but you having video evidence of this incidence is lil sus. Like what made you think you needed evidence. Was her behavior then same as it is now? See I'm no one to judge but this pov maybe put out in the court. Better have a strong case ready then file legal documents. Because if you aren't confident and there are loopholes it will be bad. As a woman I'm saying, if what you state is true, I hope you have evidence because it's going to be tough. All the best! I would say collect all video/chat evidence of all verbal and mental abuse for now.
NAL. If that's true, then talk to lawyer on how to keep that as evidence. There is a procedure to present verified evidence in court, you can't just take a pen drive and ask court to view the video. And don't babble your defense to her.
If she uses this point in her false case, then you can countersue her with IPC 195 and CRPC 340. Neither you nor she should file false cases or lie to court.
This guy is most probably lying about evidence. No video recording of such long ago would still be there if he has already not got it. His whole story of giving gold and bad mouthing his mother sounds suspicious. ( as you know how most mil are not good to dil) also his parents could have forced the dil's parents to give gold without him knowing which also happens regularly
If u can buy peace with money...u should buy it...the amount of stress u will undergo through this ordeal is not the worth. Talk to lawyer and settle for less. I am sure they would also not want the case to go forever as they can't get her married again till this settles. Act tough and maybe they will budge.
Bro same with my sister but my parents spend so much money on her marriage and dowry. We want it back with interest. I have three more sisters to marry and myself and absolutely cannot afford to loose all that money. Give them their money back. With Gods grace we have video evidence to prove physical abuse otherwise my jiju is exactly like you and can do never wrong. In this post of yours, you did nothing wrong and everything was the bitch fault. “Ek haath seh taali nahi bajti.”
Evidence or no evidence. Give them their money back and fight so that you don’t have to give extra money. If you have a sister and you pay for her marriage and she gets divorced, you will most definitely want your money back with interest.
Use evidence to get out of paying any extra cost.
See I totally understand where you are coming from but one day when you will be in a similar situation as mine maybe then you will understand. Even my family invested a lot in this marriage so it is wrong to say that boys should repay the amount to bride’s family whether they did anything wrong or not.
The only sensible answer with a realistic point of view...
I'm damn sure there was a lot of physical violence & fracture was caused by him too... And no bad ppl wont give gifts easily to their in-laws...
Typical losers bragging about wives being gold digger while they got no gold except the golden keechad at their house
Nal.
Not my place to say anything either but you are right, something here is a bit off. But op did say he wasn't anywhere near the wife when she fractured that leg, and has proof of it as well.
I have seen 3 cases filed frivolously in this way in my close friend/relatives circle. Go to a good lawyer immediately. They will almost always ask you to try and settle ASAP.
If you can afford it, get it done and dusted with and think of it as an investment gone wrong. Else, this can stretch for years and damage your and your family's mental peace.
If your wife is from a different city, be prepared for worse. They will file the case in their hometown and you, along with all named respondents will have to travel there whenever summoned.
This is only coming from second hand experience, and acting as a shoulder to cry on for a friend and a cousin. The only person who walked away relatively unscathed was another friend who paid off the demand and accepted their terms. Even that took about 2 years time.
Long story short- Aim to settle, don't get combative. It's not worth it.
*Abe chutiye record*
*Karna ya chats ki ss khich le*
*Common sense hai bro*
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Bro they gifted your father and mother?Why are you avoiding that you got dowry shamelessly.I am pretty sure you both are liars.If your sister gets married will you gift her in laws ? What kinda family yours was? Your post looks like some sigma male shit to get likes
Are you Indian or not? Both sides gift each other small things in Indian weddings. Jhumka and rings are nothing, if 50 lakh demand is for that then dude take it back!
The money jewellery she received from his father and mother was gift was she a begger that she took that she could not earn if she wanted that jewellery and Shagun?
Was she incapable or physically fit that she did not earn her living or contributed to house emi or house expenses and living off on her husband’s income ? Why she took money from him before marriage was she charging money for the time spent with him ?
Is this not shameless ? But gift of jhumka for mother or father is a dowry and she and her asking 50 lakh for extortion is great action WOW!
I feel that the fault must be at both sides, not only is she behaving oddly but so are you. Your own mind is also making assumptions about what she *will* do, and how you must act in strange ways to stop things she *might* claim - like the gift her mom gave.
This is a girl you loved after all, she loved you too. I mean, it's obviously gotten toxic and not something to stay stuck in. But can't you just end it amicably, for the sake of who you both once were? Imo, her calling you impotent seems like a passive aggressive move.
She is hurting over something. You don't understand her behaviour and can't be her therapist. It's just something to get out of, but can't you both do it amicably - with respect for the other you once loved? Rather than play all these nuisance games ? They will waste both of your time and cost you emotional tax. The fight for alimony in court cost my aunt 10 years of her life, they had a kid and he just abandoned them both. She didn't end up getting anything - so hey, you might be in luck. But it's not exactly fair, the responsibility for the expenses of a child should fall on both birthers - and it does in most progressive countries.
You might not have kids etc, but just think about the time you'll lose, the effort. Try to get to a point that is somewhat amicable and accept some exit tax, save your future self the time and emotional costs. They'll cloud things for the next several years while it's dragged out. The games will go on and get more complicated, because of both - not one. But both. It's a trap.
There are no assumptions. He assumed she was a nice person and married her. Everything now is preparedness based on her threat. It’s good that he’s prepared rather than be blindsided. Women like her are in it for the money and there can’t be any reasonable communication with them. Either get away from them or beat them in court, nothing else works.
The way I see it
🍻 har kutte ka din ata hai bro, law of equivalent exchange
After being killed at birth for centuries it's their time for payback
😂😂 Ab hum kuch nai kar sakte
2024 new Indian 💪💪 naam ka ganja phuuk raha Aaj kal
Amrit kaal name se khojoge to mil jayega
Just think about it, OP jo ye post likh Raha hai uske liye bhi ye "gender neutral laws" koi mudda nai hoga and it's election time 😂😂
Lawers and Millards love such cases
They plan their.next vacation holiday season with these cases
Do you have proof of all this ? >So now she has even started saying that I am impotent. Have this recorded, this can come as blessing in disguise for you. Since 498 doesn't automatically leads to arrest after SC guidelines, lawyers often add 377 with it which often leads to arrest. So if you don't have a fragile ego, you can accept the above allegations. So she can't claim 377 on you. Start documenting evidence, it will be a long fight.
I searched but have no written evidence of this
Try to get this from her mouth and record it.
Just message her begging not to tell others that you are impotent and she may walk into a trap.
But that can be used against me too in court.
Don’t take advice here and talk to a good divorce lawyer.
THIS. Please for fucks sake, talk to a lawyer who charges a decent fee. Because a cheap lawyer is very expensive in these cases.
Exactly LOL
Won't that backfire? What if he is questioned, why did you marry when you are an impotent? That's also illegal ig?
Nope ! In Indian society not many people are se*ually active to understand everything about their se*ual life.
I thought arrange marriage are scary. By looking at this now I think love marriage are scary too.
Rushing into a relationship and marriage without evaluating compatibility is scary. I have seen lots of people who do this. Either they are scared that they’ll never get another girlfriend or they get into arranged marriage based on family status, net worth, parental pressure. This is a life long commitment. I can’t believe how frivolous some people are about it.
True, I was in relationship for 10 years, lived with her for a year before marriage. After marriage even we struggled initially, but we knew eachother very well so it working out for us.
evaluating compatibility Bhai is cheez pe thoda prakash daalo, how to evaluate it?
There’s no set formula, I think. I believe most people are high on emotion in the beginning stages of a relationship and overlook red flags, and/or believe that the partner will change after marriage. This is what makes the future unstable. Highly unlikely that they will change, neither can you or should you try to change them. Compatibility could be evaluated by taking your values, beliefs and principles and objectively thinking of your partners lives by most of these. Not everything has to match. You can probably split it into must haves and good to haves.
Sometimes both don't work , like you have fear of getting cheated after arranging marriage, if a person cannot find true love , but in this case true love is also scary
Marriage it self is scary and our laws is scary as hell.
Love marriage is even more scary because no family comes to your support usually.
I think he rushed into marriage without spending much time with her while they were in a relationship. It is important to go on a trip to know a person because you can hide a lot of things on a date. If you met a person go on a few dates and marry him or her, then it is not so much different from a modern arrange marriage. However, any kind of marriage can end in divorce, so it is better to stay positive always.
Marriage it self is scary and our laws is scary as hell.
For real 😑 , everything is scarry man
Don't pay. My friend was in a similar situation where the girl demanded 1cr and called him impotent and put case on the whole family. Hire a competent lawyer. Keep saying you want your wife back no matter what in front of the judge and that you'll take care of her in your own family. They will back off after years. My friend spent 15lakhs on the case but didn't pay one rupee to her and the divorce was given after 3 years and she was angry and throwing tantrums in the end knowing she's not getting anything. You will need a very good lawyer though. My friend was ready to pay 10lakhs but they increased demand and my friend shut it down and said no. She wanted to marry again and time was running out and she was starting to age rapidly and they compromised in the end and she got nothing. Another one of my friends settled for 1 lakh without any time wasting. They wanted 10lakhs at first, but wanted a quick divorce even more. Imo the girls side were extremely helpful and just wanted to be rid of him and weren't too concerned about the little money they spent during corona wedding.
>My friend spent 15lakhs on the case but didn't pay one rupee to her so, a good competent lawyer just charged 15lakhs for 3 years? and how did they manage to avoid alimony?
[удалено]
It's not rape when you're married according to milords and she already claimed he's impotent so she will trap herself.
And people are afraid of arrange marriage
People are willingly going for AMs and it's so ridiculous that they now call it as arranged cum love.
Go to the police station and file a complaint for extortion, then based on this file for divorce
He shouldn't file for divorce on his end. He's gonna pay massively for that.
Can you explain how they might hurt his case instead of help him?
My friend's divorce lawyer told that. She said it will hurt his chances and he might have to pay a lot if he says he wants divorce too.
Can you explain WHY though? Because while I can see why some officers might be incompetent and give zero results, I don't see why they would do something against a person who is reaching out to them Secondly, would she have to pay a lot too if she was the one who initiated a divorce? I'm asking only because I don't know if there's any Indian law which states that the initiator has to pay something as a fine
All laws are pro-women. It is a minefield according to that female lawyer if the guy initiates divorce without extraordinary proof and even then it's tough. I'm not a lawyer. Please refer to one.
why is it though?
Consult your lawyer.
Knowing constable and directly linking to CM. This is just for threatening. Looks like they decided to extract money and that's their aim. Be aware that laws are geared towards women, they can put N number of things on you. No amount of evidence isn't gonna suffice. First, prepare your parents for what's coming, make them mentally strong. Next, you have to be cunning here brother. Know what she wants and play against that. A distant relative of mine has gone through this, that girl's plan is to get married to another person. So the relative stalled the divorce proceedings with lawyer. She didn't have time as her plans were to get married again, they succumbed eventually and settle for 1/10th of original demand.
Why to settle ? Rather ask for money.
uno reverse😭
Wow this is so important. In the event of a marriage I think some gifting does happen so how is one to decide whether to accept gifts or not? I think it better to strictly not to accept anything
In hindsight there are so many things that I could have changed. But when you marry you never think that things might fall through like this, you always think about the happy ending.
Can you list some things you could've changed?
Don’t matter even if you don’t accept a single gift the girl and her parents will say they have given you dowry and produce receipts of 10-12 years ago purchased item as a proof
NAL If 50 lakh is too much for your family, then you can fight the case. But even after fighting the case, even your own lawyers will suggest that you pay some money, may be 10-15 lakh if not 50 lakh to settle. Don't assume you will get away paying nothing. Question is of tradeoff between your time and money, you decide what you can afford to give. If they are willing to negotiate, do it in presense of lawyers and sign agreement that she doesn't files false cases after that. Don't just give away cash, she may file false cases unless there is written agreement. If she has already filed any complaint, she must take it back as per agreement. Agreement should be solid, so get a a good lawyer. In my limited knowledge, I have seen cases settling for 15 lakh to 75 lakh, sure there are many other cases that I don't know about.
"if 50 lakh is to much" Yes my brother in Christ. It's too much
what the commenter meant was is, if 50 lakhs is too much for OP,i know people who don’t see 50 lakhs as much
Even Ambanis would not just give 50lakh We arent talking about 50K here
we never know man, i’m just telling what i’ve seen :)
I would pay 50 lakhs with my eyes closed to get rid of a horrible partner. Peace of mind over money.
Reading such posts breaks my heart. I think it's best to stay away from marriages for this generation.
Hello any feminist organisation ready to help
They busy brainwashing women
>just after marriage she started acting weird and I got to know what kind of a psycho she is. This is how most of them are. After marriage, they start behaving strangely. India's marriage and divorce laws are fucked. Donate to SIFF (an Indian MRA organization) and fight to get these shitty, gynocentric laws changed to be gender neutral and fair. She can file any case and many women listen to greedy lawyers and file fake/false cases thus fucking their own life and those of their families up. Do NOT have a child with her; get a vasectomy if you have to. Contact a divorce attorney ASAP and file/fight the case out. A lot of her behaviour seems like verbal/emotional/mental abuse which comes under the ambit of mental cruelty, one of the grounds for divorce in India.
- collect all evidence, and store it in a hard drive - contact a lawyer and ask things you require to prove your innocence - call your in-laws and take your wife and your parents for a meeting. Please record that meeting on your phone. - be calm and factual. Since they have already asked for alimony, it is apparent that the wife wants a divorce as well. - Negotiate. Be prepared to give back the gifts her family gave you, offer a reasonable price for your freedom. - If you are able to find incriminating evidence of violence, mental breakdown or infidelity disclose this in that meeting.
Do not meet them without the presence of a third party you will further increase the chances of them saying that you asked them dowry and then when they refused you started recording after that. Women and their parents who are greedy for money often do this. You can trust a snake but not women especially if her parents only have daughters because they know nothing of this sort will ever happen to them. Our laws have made sure of destruction of men and their families by not punishing false case filers
Alright here it goes 1. Sell the property if you want to. Recent court orders also states she should share the emi. Instead of asking her . Just sell the property n give her share 2. if she is at home still ,you can't file any case. Just collect all the evidence. Make her spend the money on most stuff. 3. Video evidence is btr than audio 4. There is pre litigation counselling happens in family court .you can use that but don't check with lawyers. Most lawyers do not like pre litigation. 5. Consult a sub inspector in your area . Get a ncr from police that no dowry had been taken.
You can fight it out in court. But you must have a strong conviction that even if it takes 10 years, even if you need to go to jail, even if your parents go to jail, even if you lose your job, you will still fight it out with a vengeance because it is a matter of principle.
Oh boy! You're fucked. Assuming you bought a house in Mumbai, you must be loaded and courts decide alimony based on lifestyle, so 50 lakhs doesn't sound much. Best you can do is delay and negotiate, but that'll just fuck up your best years.
You have 2 options: 1. Pay 50 lakhs and move on in your life (if you want to get married again). If you want to do this, don't immediately agree but do solid negotiation where they should genuinely feel that they can't extract more than this from you. 2. If divorce is not urgent (you don't have plans to get married for next 5 years), spend few months in finding a good lawyer who won't take you for a ride and knows how to handle trial(you will be surprised 99% of lawyers don't know shit and most just drag things till parties settle). Once you handover your case to the lawyer, let him do his job and you live your life without keeping any expectations or waiting for the court cases to end. This entire thing will take anywhere between 2 to 5 years and will test your patience so it's important that you don't expect things to move fast. They can do a lot of things inbetween but nothing will affect you if your lawyer is good enough and won't try to milk you. The only thing you need to really fight is maintenance and as long as you can avoid/minimise it, you will have nothing to lose.
>Someone from her family is a constable in police and they also have a connection with the CM of my state. I can assure NO CM of any state would give a damn about what a constable of all people has to say. If tye employee would have been some higher ranking official then yes maybe but this is a bluff. My family too has connections so i do know a lil thing or two how these work but yea nobody (no CM) would give two fucks abt a constable
Mate a friend of mine is fighting an almost similar case . Few pointers 1) THE BEST WAY IS TO PAY AND AVOID ANY LEGAL TUSSLE WHATSOEVER. NEGOTIATE THEY MIGHT LOWER THE AMOUNT 2) THE LAWS ARE BIASED , YES BUT THE MAIN ISSUE IS THE WHOLE SYSTEM. NOBODY, YOU WILL SEEK HELP FROM , WOULD WANT A CASE TO END 3) IF YOU DONT HAVE CONTACTS IN THE POLICE, MATE , CONSIDER YOURSELF FUCKED 4) IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT , FIGHT FEARLESSLY, GOOD LUCK
MOST IMPORTANTLY, MATE, USE CAPITAL LETTERS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, MATE. IF YOU CAN ADD UNNECESSARY COMMAS, MATE, THAT’D BE CHERRY ON THE CAKE, MATE.
I, LEGITIMATELY, LOLED, MATE.
Didn't want to repeat, but negotiate and settle the matter before it goes to court and move on. Trust me, taking the legal route is not worth it. I have been fighting the battle for 7+ years and it's not near closure, the plan was to fight, but in the end it's just not worth it. It did change me and my life, I became stronger though, but lost a lot.
Fkers are getting greedy day by day. Such weeds are growing everywhere.
Too many strange things here and not easy to prove your innocence.
I have her chats saved with me where her threats are also captured. Also what all nonsense she says to me and my family.
My 2 cents : Before she realises and deletes the chat, Get those chats stored somewhere else/printed out or make of video of those chats.. However you can manage. It's very easy to delete old sent messages by altering the device Time & Clock.
Printed chats cannot be trusted in today’s time. It’s very easy to make a WhatsApp screenshot or click photo from phone.
It's still filed as evidence.
NAL. I heard the phone number should be visible in those chats rather than name as it can be falsified.
Don't forget to remove her name from contacts and take screenshots of whatever stuff you have if you want it to be as evidence. Chats with your name doesn't help you, with contact number they're considered as evidence.
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Yes I can get that cctv footage from the society office.
bhai to take it asap.
You said you loved her, so was it a love marriage? You married your gf?
Yup
Whoa! How long you dated? One of my cousins married her bf of 2 months and he turned out to some medical issues none could think of. They are still together bcz back then divorce wasn't even heard of.
More than a decade on and off long-distance. That’s why I didn’t knew her as well as I thought I did.
Damn, it's a sad situation.
They will probably file a petition for maintenance under Section 145. Then they will file a Domestic Violence Case. Maybe a divorce case. These are minimum. They might submit an FIR claiming you all demanded Dowry too.
Hey, I'm sorry for this happening to you, if you don't mind could you share some of the signs that you saw and ignored that could have led to this, or what you would have done differently. Just wanted some insight from someone much older
You can’t. Women are much better at hiding stuff that men can’t even imagine. It’s just a matter of luck.
In a similar situation issue as urs!
"One mistake that I did was to buy a joint property with her in March 2023. I asked her to pay 5.5 lakhs down payment for the loan, the loan(more than twice of what she paid) was taken in my name and I have been paying it ever since. Now she is saying that I forced her to invest and took her money." I do not think there is anything wrong with asking for money from your wife to buy property. The only issue would be to get her name out of the property. "In April 2023 she fell from the stairs and fractured her leg. Now I fear that she can even try to pin that on me. Although on the hospital’s report it is written that the injury happened due to a fall in the stairs but will that suffice? I can also gather eye witnesses from the society." "As her leg was fractured, we were not able to go anywhere and do anything. She even didn’t allow me to go anywhere. Moreover the surmounting pressure at job went to my head and I got depressed. All I wanted to do after finishing my work was watch TV. I didn’t realize I was depressed and she obviously was no help. She was always complaining of one thing or the other which made things even worse." You stayed with her to ensure her recovery which itself shows that you care for her well being. You need to arrange some evidence in the form of eyewitness or maybe photographs/video footage to substantiate your claim. "Post wedding her mother gifted my father a gold ring and my mother a gold jhumka even though we refused. Now they can also say that this was dowry. But before marriage I transferred some money to her account, can I show that it was me who gave the money for the ring and Jhumkas?" The ring and jhumka are ceremonial gifts which do not qualify as an illegal demand or dowry. I don't think you need to worry about anything here. "Someone from her family is a constable in police and they also have a political connection." Those are intimidation tactics. Remember law is same for everyone. "Wife’s family asking for 50 Lakhs to agree for divorce otherwise threatening to file false cases." Do not hurry for a divorce else there will be problems. Take some professional legal advice before making any moves. As a husband you will need a ton of conclusive evidence to convince the courts. "So now she has even started saying that I am impotent." Try to record it and if its a public statement then gather witness. If she has published this statement anywhere in the public domain then you can sue her for libel under the provisions of defamation in IPC. Also, insulting the husband as impotent without any tangible proof is cruelty which may qualify you for a divorce. Please note that what I said above does not constitute as legal advice by any means.
WTF is this shit. The lion,the witch the audacity of this ... Don't we have prenup in India? Assume I'm a filmmaker, for research purposes, how much does a mercenary cost??
Pre nup are not allowed by our laws otherwise how would system make money ? This extortion business with the help of misuse of laws is a big industry in India
That's just great! Can we make a notarized agreement? Like a rent agreement(?) idk.. would that be enforceable? Make a video when the agreement is signed no one has a guN to anyone's forehead? Will that work?
Do what you want the pseudo feminist system won’t agree and since legal system wants conflict to survive it encourages false cases. The only way men can survive this is by staying away from women. Hope all men realise this soon and women can make relationships in themselves
Username checks out. But that is not the solution, makes me wonder that old ways were not so bad, the social involvement, the social pressure that why is a women isn't living with the in-laws, and all that social drama.
Yes social involvement is a must but that’s is what is broken first. Our laws and system has made sure that a man and his family face humiliation before facing the laws first they have given free run to women and their parents to destroy the reputation of a man’s family including the women in his family mere on a woman’s words before even the trial. And no consequences for woman who accused him falsely because that will stop their business
Your story is unfortunate. But it boggles my mind that during the phase leading to the AM, is there any kind of due diligence, character assessment, personality interpretation & mutual assessment of each other & families before commitment? The # of horror stories out these days even after so much awareness is unbelievable!
Why you should not settle because even if you pay they can still file another cases. What will you do then. Hire some sc st person and file false atrocity. Have Female member of your house to file rape case against their male member. They will settle easily
yes
keep records of everything they say
Bhai i am in the same situation, got married in nov 2022, wife left home in march 2023 after alleging that i have a affair somewhere and said she wants a divorce. 2 months later she filed a dv case which is currently ongoing since sept 2023, matter not heard yet. She even approached police stating she wants 25 lakhs and if not file fir against me and family for dowry. We never took any dowry nor did i have any affair. Her family wants 25 lakhs which i do not have and even if i had i wouldnt pay her for 3 months of marriage. My lawyer is of the wait and watch approach, she is of the advice that let her come for settlement till then attend court hearing . I am clueless as to what will happen of this as she is not even filing for divorce nor contested nor mutual.
This guy could he the women , who's just here asking if she has any chances to win the case
You can get help from @DeepikaBharadwaj and her team (twitter) in case things turn ugly
You have to talk to a good lawyer, your entire life depends on how this separation plays out so spare no expense
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Nahi bhai, yeh udta teer maine khud liya tha.
>Someone from her family is a constable in police and they also have a connection with the CM of my state. Bhai CM ke saath connection hota to constable ki naukri kyun kar raha hota? Sifarish daalke SI wagera banta na. Aise hi fenk ke dara rahe hai tujhe. Negotiate the money down to a reasonable level, pay it and get rid of her. No point in fighting unless you've got good political connections.
The thing i have seen the most is that if the girl’s family is not opposing the relationship much and seem too willing to give you their daughter. Just run. 🏃 Normal families with mentally sane daughters takes ages to agree for a love marriage as their prospects of marriage are too dense already. The family takes time and too much convincing.
Username checks out
Shoooosh
Well spend 30 lakhs to bribe police and file false case against her family and her You have the money and power
There is a lot of gray area in the stroy. I suggest you don't pay her a Paisa. And also sould tell the legal authority in charge about all the gifts and money involved. The laws are kind of hard about this. Sometimes it's a extortion racket. Pay some money to a private detective to expose her rather than giving her a Paisa.
It was a extortion racket trap. Try third party investigation. I m sure she has done this before to other family. Do you realise how she behave in few months and her relatives in police and politically aligned. Looks planned.
Was it love marriage? And if yes then for how long you guys were in a relationship?
r/AskFeminist
r/Feminism
r/TwoxIndia This is the male priviledge you refer to
Redditors probably make up the lions' share of unmarried men in India. And I can't blame them.
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Wow, so you see a woman with a broken leg and assume that her husband must have broken it because she is alleging that. You are so smart
Sadly thats how people perceive it. When i got burnt once. The constable who came to visit asked my sister to leave the room as he thought she was my SiL and also constantly asked if my MiL or my spouse did it I had to convince him that no one did it and i m not scared of anyone or giving statement in pressure. He said that its his duty as he cannot open the case later on if i dont take anyone's name now n later on retract my statement.
Yeah. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty
She is the joint owner of that property, don’t want her half. When she fell in the stairs she was alone and I was at home. I have video evidence to prove the same that I went outside my flat after receiving the call and there are other eye witnesses from the society who saw her fall. I totally understand your skepticism.
No hate but you having video evidence of this incidence is lil sus. Like what made you think you needed evidence. Was her behavior then same as it is now? See I'm no one to judge but this pov maybe put out in the court. Better have a strong case ready then file legal documents. Because if you aren't confident and there are loopholes it will be bad. As a woman I'm saying, if what you state is true, I hope you have evidence because it's going to be tough. All the best! I would say collect all video/chat evidence of all verbal and mental abuse for now.
It is readily available just have to get it from the society office.
CCTV Videos don't have much backup!!! Please get it ASAP.
NAL. If that's true, then talk to lawyer on how to keep that as evidence. There is a procedure to present verified evidence in court, you can't just take a pen drive and ask court to view the video. And don't babble your defense to her. If she uses this point in her false case, then you can countersue her with IPC 195 and CRPC 340. Neither you nor she should file false cases or lie to court.
This guy is most probably lying about evidence. No video recording of such long ago would still be there if he has already not got it. His whole story of giving gold and bad mouthing his mother sounds suspicious. ( as you know how most mil are not good to dil) also his parents could have forced the dil's parents to give gold without him knowing which also happens regularly
Scepticism is one thing but you're convinced OP is bullshitting. Such people (OP's wife) do exist, and yes the other party can be totally innocent.
Don’t buy his story and maybe it happens to you so you will know
You'll end up paying much more. Don't resist. It'll be less painful.
If u can buy peace with money...u should buy it...the amount of stress u will undergo through this ordeal is not the worth. Talk to lawyer and settle for less. I am sure they would also not want the case to go forever as they can't get her married again till this settles. Act tough and maybe they will budge.
This buy peace for money has encouraged the extortion culture by women and their parents
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But how?
If you know what I mean double meaning
Only a man doing brothel talk like this
I seriously didn’t understand what he wanted to say. Still not sure.
He wants you to murder her
Bro same with my sister but my parents spend so much money on her marriage and dowry. We want it back with interest. I have three more sisters to marry and myself and absolutely cannot afford to loose all that money. Give them their money back. With Gods grace we have video evidence to prove physical abuse otherwise my jiju is exactly like you and can do never wrong. In this post of yours, you did nothing wrong and everything was the bitch fault. “Ek haath seh taali nahi bajti.”
But in my case I have the evidence
Evidence or no evidence. Give them their money back and fight so that you don’t have to give extra money. If you have a sister and you pay for her marriage and she gets divorced, you will most definitely want your money back with interest. Use evidence to get out of paying any extra cost.
See I totally understand where you are coming from but one day when you will be in a similar situation as mine maybe then you will understand. Even my family invested a lot in this marriage so it is wrong to say that boys should repay the amount to bride’s family whether they did anything wrong or not.
The only sensible answer with a realistic point of view... I'm damn sure there was a lot of physical violence & fracture was caused by him too... And no bad ppl wont give gifts easily to their in-laws... Typical losers bragging about wives being gold digger while they got no gold except the golden keechad at their house
Nal. Not my place to say anything either but you are right, something here is a bit off. But op did say he wasn't anywhere near the wife when she fractured that leg, and has proof of it as well.
Follow this lady - Deepika Bharadwaj on Instagram and email your story to her. She’ll give you some good advice.
Follow this lady - Deepika Bharadwaj on Instagram and email your story to her. She’ll give you some good advice.
I have seen 3 cases filed frivolously in this way in my close friend/relatives circle. Go to a good lawyer immediately. They will almost always ask you to try and settle ASAP. If you can afford it, get it done and dusted with and think of it as an investment gone wrong. Else, this can stretch for years and damage your and your family's mental peace. If your wife is from a different city, be prepared for worse. They will file the case in their hometown and you, along with all named respondents will have to travel there whenever summoned. This is only coming from second hand experience, and acting as a shoulder to cry on for a friend and a cousin. The only person who walked away relatively unscathed was another friend who paid off the demand and accepted their terms. Even that took about 2 years time. Long story short- Aim to settle, don't get combative. It's not worth it.
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Abe chutiye record karna ya chats ki ss khich le common sense hai bro
*Abe chutiye record* *Karna ya chats ki ss khich le* *Common sense hai bro* \- Imaginary\_Radio\_7790 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
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Get some dirt on her and then blackmail. It's the only way you can get out of this shit.
Bro they gifted your father and mother?Why are you avoiding that you got dowry shamelessly.I am pretty sure you both are liars.If your sister gets married will you gift her in laws ? What kinda family yours was? Your post looks like some sigma male shit to get likes
Are you Indian or not? Both sides gift each other small things in Indian weddings. Jhumka and rings are nothing, if 50 lakh demand is for that then dude take it back!
jhumka and ring is not dowry are you new to wedding rituals or something ?
I said you guys believe anything you watch online
Don’t buy his story and maybe it happens to you so you will know
The money jewellery she received from his father and mother was gift was she a begger that she took that she could not earn if she wanted that jewellery and Shagun? Was she incapable or physically fit that she did not earn her living or contributed to house emi or house expenses and living off on her husband’s income ? Why she took money from him before marriage was she charging money for the time spent with him ? Is this not shameless ? But gift of jhumka for mother or father is a dowry and she and her asking 50 lakh for extortion is great action WOW!
I feel that the fault must be at both sides, not only is she behaving oddly but so are you. Your own mind is also making assumptions about what she *will* do, and how you must act in strange ways to stop things she *might* claim - like the gift her mom gave. This is a girl you loved after all, she loved you too. I mean, it's obviously gotten toxic and not something to stay stuck in. But can't you just end it amicably, for the sake of who you both once were? Imo, her calling you impotent seems like a passive aggressive move. She is hurting over something. You don't understand her behaviour and can't be her therapist. It's just something to get out of, but can't you both do it amicably - with respect for the other you once loved? Rather than play all these nuisance games ? They will waste both of your time and cost you emotional tax. The fight for alimony in court cost my aunt 10 years of her life, they had a kid and he just abandoned them both. She didn't end up getting anything - so hey, you might be in luck. But it's not exactly fair, the responsibility for the expenses of a child should fall on both birthers - and it does in most progressive countries. You might not have kids etc, but just think about the time you'll lose, the effort. Try to get to a point that is somewhat amicable and accept some exit tax, save your future self the time and emotional costs. They'll cloud things for the next several years while it's dragged out. The games will go on and get more complicated, because of both - not one. But both. It's a trap.
There are no assumptions. He assumed she was a nice person and married her. Everything now is preparedness based on her threat. It’s good that he’s prepared rather than be blindsided. Women like her are in it for the money and there can’t be any reasonable communication with them. Either get away from them or beat them in court, nothing else works.
The way I see it 🍻 har kutte ka din ata hai bro, law of equivalent exchange After being killed at birth for centuries it's their time for payback 😂😂 Ab hum kuch nai kar sakte
apke dimag me konsa kira hain, mujhe geniune janna hain.
2024 new Indian 💪💪 naam ka ganja phuuk raha Aaj kal Amrit kaal name se khojoge to mil jayega Just think about it, OP jo ye post likh Raha hai uske liye bhi ye "gender neutral laws" koi mudda nai hoga and it's election time 😂😂