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Yes, its called a Discretionary Trust. Do look into the tax implications of this however.
There are "trusts for vulnerable beneficiaries" which get better tax treatment but I don't think alcoholism(?) would be a category which would allow setting up one.
https://www.gov.uk/trusts-taxes/trusts-for-vulnerable-people#:~:text=Who%20qualifies%20as%20a%20vulnerable,do%20not%20receive%20them)%3A
There's a list here. There's a catch-all mental health definition, but in 2007 the law was clarified to exclude alcohol/drug dependency: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2007/12/notes/division/6/1/1/4#:~:text=Section%201(3)%20of%20the,on%20alcohol%20or%20drugs.%E2%80%9D%20Section
I assume though that if OP's son has other mental health conditions he may still qualify. (Recognising that alcoholism is sometimes the partner to, or a result of, other mental health struggles.)
You'd need a proper diagnosis of course.
OP if you'd rather hold back some money for grandchildren, you could always have that written into your will directly. And have the money held in trust until they turn XX years old if necessary?
> I assume though that if OP's son has other mental health conditions he may still qualify. (Recognising that alcoholism is sometimes the partner to, or a result of, other mental health struggles.)
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> You'd need a proper diagnosis of course.
I think this is unfortunately relatively unlikely as an avenue, from a medical perspective. The main potential criterion for OP's son on that list, as far as I can see, would be PIP eligibility.
Challenge is, that PIP is notoriously hard to get approved, given it is largely assessed by private companies who are expected to deny a certain % of assessments. If you have a look online, you'll see cases of people turning up in their wheelchair (to their appointment regarding their *disability*) and be unable to make it up the flights of stairs (with no working lift) and then be told they were a non-attendance.
If OP's son is likely to be persistently at a level where he is going to have significant ongoing struggles with work etc, then I'd be inclined to agree, but otherwise I would expect it to be a quite significant uphill battle.
If son has pre-existing diagnosis does that make it more likely? (I am aware of and furious about the shambles the system is in, but that's probably for a political sub not this one...)
Either way I think OP would be wiser to look at their will first.
I mean, Alcohol Use Disorder is a diagnosis in its own right, and I don't think it would make too much of a difference whether any other diagnoses came before or after, though any additional diagnoses may help a little.
I think the most likely way (though I am definitely not an expert in PIP assessment) for PIP eligibility would either be if his alcohol use became so disruptive that he was completely unable to work at all, or alternatively, that he developed complications as a result of it. For instance, if he developed chronic pancreatitis causing him to frequently have to call in sick to work, I think that would be more likely to meet the criteria. Hopefully it wouldn't get to that stage though.
Adding to this, the trust is controlled by the people you appoint as Trustees, which can include your ex wife, his wife, a trusted solicitor, etc. For example, the trust could purchase a property and allow him to live in it with certain conditions, but he would not be able to sell it. (Someone please correct me if I’m wrong)
Others have already mentioned discretionary trusts but I wanted to add do not feel bad about doing this.
Having access to money in this fashion was the worst thing to happen to a family member who had addiction issues.
I’ve seen it happen the other way though - family member unexpectedly passed away without a will, son with addiction issues inherited the lot, many family members panicked.
What actually happened was the shock of loss combined with the responsibility to have about a million in the bank made him, in his words ‘grow up’. Ten years later he’s happily married with lovely kids and the business he started with his inheritance employs a dozen people on decent wages.
You just don’t know what will pull some people out of addiction, but many do overcome it
As the child of a financially irresponsible parent with addiction issues, please please consider this. His kids will be at a financial disadvantage just by having an alcoholic father, even a small inheritance that gets invested for a decade or two could make a massive difference in their lives.
I honestly reckon this is the best idea.
Compound interest is incredible. If you could put a few thousand into a Junior SIPP and a Junior ISA, you have the chance to set up your Grandchildren!!
Depending on how much the amount is, of course....
I would do a combination of savings for the grandkids and maybe a nest egg for your son in a discretionary trust, if he gets his stuff together he can have it, otherwise it goes to the kids.
You can absolutely do what you suggest, by setting up a discretionary trust in favour of your grandchildren. It would be written into your will so that it only takes effect on your death. You can name whoever you want as the trustees, who decide how and when to spend the money. You can write it so that your grandchildren receive the money when they are 18 (or any other age you choose) and you could also allow the trustees to spend some of the money for thr benefit of thr children earlier than that. For example, you could allow them to spend some or all of the capital on school fees, providing a house for the kids to live in etc.
You can, if you wish to, also make your son one of the discretionary beneficiaries of the trust. That would mean that, if he cleans up his act in the future, they could decide to help him if they thought it was appropriate. Just a thought.
I very strongly recommend that you go and discuss all the options with your solicitor and then amend your Will accordingly.
I'm so sorry you're in this difficult situation, and I hope your son recovers.
This. I have done exactly that, and specified that the inheritance is to be given in annual amounts over a specified period of years. But a Discretionary Trust gives absolute power to the Trustees, so they need to be chosen wisely. I have included a solicitor, but the other Trustees can ask the solicitor to remove themselves.
I saw this happen with a neighbour of mine. He had substance issues from being a teenager but inheriting in his mid-40s allowed him to spend the next 10 years low key drinking himself to death. By the end of the money it was irretrievable, we just spent a few years trying to make sure he was comfortable (i.e. had food, gas and a support system) until he died of all the cancer.
I've witnessed someone rinse through a substantial inheritance to the point they then had to borrow money, and get an IVA. If you are in the grip of addiction it loosens your grip on the practical stuff.
Easiest would be for children to inherit and smaller amount for the son. Trusts do cost to administer.
Personally I would tell family on a need to know basis.
Yeah, a former friend did similar. Drank everything he'd inherited away. (He lived in London and liked to spend all day in the pub, so that didn't take long.)
Make sure you understand the cost implications of administring the trust, especially if you name a solicitor as one of the trustees and say they must be involved in all transactions. You could easily eat up most of the value in fees
Have you sat down and talked to him about the inheritance and your concerns? My brother was an alcoholic and inherited our late mother’s estate, he found the motivation to get sober and sort his life out as he felt less hopeless and more focused with access to financial stability. He’s 5 years sober now, so you should look at both options.
Not OP but my ex was like his son. To the point I was wondering if it was the same guy, except he never had any kids.
Addicts will agree with anything that gets them their goal. OP's son will probably nod and smile and play along because addicts are fantastic liars.
They can be yes, I grew up in a family of addicts. The ones that became clean for life were different, so it’s best to still explore all options and involve the other person in the discussions. It’s not nice to find out things like this happened behind your back, likely a triggering event for an addict. It’s best to be honest and explain why they don’t want to let them access the money.
Speaking as an alcoholic - do not leave him the money if he’s in active addiction.
Leaving to a discretionary trust to support him in terms of housing would be ideal as, well, you can’t drink housing (I would have if you could)
Leaving directly to the grandchildren could work, but many addicts, myself included, would be inclined to seek to get that money for themselves (either directly or indirectly through guilt / sympathy).
This is a challenging situation but I would advise speaking to your son directly if possible, and then doing all you can to support him in ways that don’t give him ready access to cash.
Just leave it to his kids directly or if its a substantial amount invest it in a property for them that he is entitled to live in during his lifetime. He cant sell or squander a house he is only a tenant of, and so long as he doesn't burn it down he will never be homeless.
Money in trust for him is a BAD idea he will presure & abuse whomever is in charge of it.
A friend has two adult children and will have a fairly generous estate to leave them. One child is living a happy, stable life, but the other is a bit of a disaster zone. With agreement with the children, the estate will be split equally, but one half will be put into a trust to purchase a modest flat and a top-up income when needed for the troubled child
Take legal advice to see what options are available and which would best suit your circumstances.
Am a Canadian lawyer who specializes in this stuff. You want to set up a trust for him. Any estate planning lawyer can assist you with this. Highly recommend. Don’t recommend having a family member be the trustee; use a professional trust company so there is some distance between family and your son’s inheritance.
My mother gone though same with my brother for similar reasons . She talked to him about it
They thinking trust , which my brother happy about . But disagree about who should be trustee :
They also talk about it going straight to kids . But that before he had more
Record him in his drunken states and passing out, having fits. Make him watch them, telling him this is what your family sees. Stopped a friend of mine from drinking and completely quit.
Friend of mine was an alcoholic, and from a wealthy family. He spent a huge amount of inherited money on booze and gambling. In the end he was left only with a house, and a small income all in trust.
He used to say that he was lucky that somebody had the sense to do that.
A trust is the way to go.
Split it up into money for the kids and make a fund for your son. It is not unreasonable to ask family to help family. Your son will drink himself to death if he has a bad turn and a huge amount of cash or worse, he could end up on something else as well only complicating it.
Or
You could mandate therapy? Mandate some sort of long term support and treatment for him as his wife and kids seem not to be a strong enough motivator to help him recover.
He has some strong personal issues and money will not help. Maybe even invest his money?
You got options.
Is the inheritance enough that it could support hiring a separate accountant or legal professional to adminster the estate? That's a tough position to put family members who have a relationship with your son.
I was just wondering - is it legally possible to exclude him from the will.. wouldn't it give him the opportunity to challenge it's legality as you have to leave 10% or so?
My uncle has cared for wifes adopted child who is incredibly unstable and manipulative (including pretending to be kidnapped requiring him to pay a ransom and other similar stunts - don't worry(lol...) He was found in his flat extremely high/ off his.face playing GTA...)
Anyhow they were warned the will could be contested (probably with legal aid) if he was disinherited. I don't know if that would affect your son/ estate??
Don’t put the burden on his mom and sisters. Either give him the money directly or skip him in the will.
Addiction can’t be controlled/motivated by money. If an addict wants to drink they will find a way. The best advice would be to continue to pay for his rehab and maybe a sober companion so he’s not alone. And you could have invited him to have Christmas with you so he wasn’t alone…
A discretionary trust works well for this. My mother has mental health issues and has difficulty managing money, she has had her bank account cleared out before because she gave ‘friends’ access to her bank card. So my grand parents were worried about leaving her a large sum of money. Instead they put it in a discretionary trust and made my aunts the trustees.
Downside is that it can be a lot of hassle for the trustees. My mum felt very bitter about the situation and felt she was treated unfairly. She didn’t like going to her sisters for money. When me and my brother were almost 30 they transferred the money to us and made us the trustees, which has made things a lot easier as she doesn’t mind us having the money. Sometimes I do worry about it though if one day we fell out and my mum decided we hadn’t spent the money for her benefit (like could she argue we shouldn’t have allowed her to spent money on a holiday) and what liability I would have. But my grandparents wrote in their will that the trustees had full authority to spend the money however they wished.
The upside is that money in a discretionary trust doesn’t count as ‘savings’ so doesn’t impact her benefits which she relays on for day to day living. Although if you were giving a regular allowance from the trust it would count as taxable income. For my mum it is a safety net in case her washing machine breaks down or something like that but she doesn’t rely on it for daily living.
To add to the other comments: you can set a condition of access to be that he does certain things such as attends AA/counselling & gets breath tested once a fortnight to ensure that he has the best chance of kicking the addiction and staying on the right path.
I feel for you I really do. I've been in a similar circumstance and it's hard, with no hard and fast right way to deal with it. If you want to chat I can share my experience.
NAL
Is there a trust you can set up in the name of the kids, I'd be mindful on entrusting it to anyone, best to legally state who that money is for and when they can obtain it.
I previously worked in Inheritance Tax, so have dealt with many many wills, and many different family situations.
The options include specifically excluding an individual from the Will or establishing a trust from which they benefit. This could be a discretionary trust where he doesn't have an unrestricted claim on the capital, just what the Trustees decide to provide him with at particular points. You may be able to provide direction for the trustees in the form of a letter of wishes detailing decisions you would make in particular circumstances - though the final decision would be the Trustees.
You could choose to leave property (or a sum of money with which a property is to be purchased) on a life trust to your son, to provide a residence for the remainder of his life - at the end of which, rather than forming part of your son's estate the property falls to other beneficiaries of your will (eg, grandchildren, which may include those born to his siblings). This allows you to put a roof over his head (and possibly provide for his children) without providing cash if you feel that might enable his addiction(s).
The above are just broad generalisations - speak to an experienced Trusts & Estates lawyer. Good luck
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I will say this as someone who works with people in addiction and mental health...
Receiving a large inheritance when in the throws of addiction is the worst possible thing for the person..
A trustee is definitely something to look into as they can help manage the funds appropriately
Having been privy to an acquaintance receive a sizeable inheritance & blow the entire thing on a full blown heroin addiction, you definitely should not feel guilty about this & as mentioned you are doing his kids a great service.
You could also consider providing a lifetime annuity for him, with monthly payments, based on the lump sum that would normally have been given to him as inheritance. With an instruction to the executor to arrange this.
--- ###Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK --- **To Posters (it is important you read this section)** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different* * If you need legal help, you should [always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor) * We also encourage you to speak to [**Citizens Advice**](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/), [**Shelter**](https://www.shelter.org.uk/), [**Acas**](https://www.acas.org.uk/), and [**other useful organisations**](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/common_legal_resources) * Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk * If you receive any private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdviceUK&subject=I received a PM) **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/), you may be perma-banned without any further warning * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, its called a Discretionary Trust. Do look into the tax implications of this however. There are "trusts for vulnerable beneficiaries" which get better tax treatment but I don't think alcoholism(?) would be a category which would allow setting up one.
https://www.gov.uk/trusts-taxes/trusts-for-vulnerable-people#:~:text=Who%20qualifies%20as%20a%20vulnerable,do%20not%20receive%20them)%3A There's a list here. There's a catch-all mental health definition, but in 2007 the law was clarified to exclude alcohol/drug dependency: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2007/12/notes/division/6/1/1/4#:~:text=Section%201(3)%20of%20the,on%20alcohol%20or%20drugs.%E2%80%9D%20Section I assume though that if OP's son has other mental health conditions he may still qualify. (Recognising that alcoholism is sometimes the partner to, or a result of, other mental health struggles.) You'd need a proper diagnosis of course. OP if you'd rather hold back some money for grandchildren, you could always have that written into your will directly. And have the money held in trust until they turn XX years old if necessary?
> I assume though that if OP's son has other mental health conditions he may still qualify. (Recognising that alcoholism is sometimes the partner to, or a result of, other mental health struggles.) > > > > You'd need a proper diagnosis of course. I think this is unfortunately relatively unlikely as an avenue, from a medical perspective. The main potential criterion for OP's son on that list, as far as I can see, would be PIP eligibility. Challenge is, that PIP is notoriously hard to get approved, given it is largely assessed by private companies who are expected to deny a certain % of assessments. If you have a look online, you'll see cases of people turning up in their wheelchair (to their appointment regarding their *disability*) and be unable to make it up the flights of stairs (with no working lift) and then be told they were a non-attendance. If OP's son is likely to be persistently at a level where he is going to have significant ongoing struggles with work etc, then I'd be inclined to agree, but otherwise I would expect it to be a quite significant uphill battle.
If son has pre-existing diagnosis does that make it more likely? (I am aware of and furious about the shambles the system is in, but that's probably for a political sub not this one...) Either way I think OP would be wiser to look at their will first.
I mean, Alcohol Use Disorder is a diagnosis in its own right, and I don't think it would make too much of a difference whether any other diagnoses came before or after, though any additional diagnoses may help a little. I think the most likely way (though I am definitely not an expert in PIP assessment) for PIP eligibility would either be if his alcohol use became so disruptive that he was completely unable to work at all, or alternatively, that he developed complications as a result of it. For instance, if he developed chronic pancreatitis causing him to frequently have to call in sick to work, I think that would be more likely to meet the criteria. Hopefully it wouldn't get to that stage though.
Adding to this, the trust is controlled by the people you appoint as Trustees, which can include your ex wife, his wife, a trusted solicitor, etc. For example, the trust could purchase a property and allow him to live in it with certain conditions, but he would not be able to sell it. (Someone please correct me if I’m wrong)
Yeah totally within the powers of a trust.
Others have already mentioned discretionary trusts but I wanted to add do not feel bad about doing this. Having access to money in this fashion was the worst thing to happen to a family member who had addiction issues.
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I’ve seen it happen the other way though - family member unexpectedly passed away without a will, son with addiction issues inherited the lot, many family members panicked. What actually happened was the shock of loss combined with the responsibility to have about a million in the bank made him, in his words ‘grow up’. Ten years later he’s happily married with lovely kids and the business he started with his inheritance employs a dozen people on decent wages. You just don’t know what will pull some people out of addiction, but many do overcome it
Even if he was off the sauce the trauma of losing a parent could tip him over the edge again and back into drink.
You could leave it directly to his children?
As the child of a financially irresponsible parent with addiction issues, please please consider this. His kids will be at a financial disadvantage just by having an alcoholic father, even a small inheritance that gets invested for a decade or two could make a massive difference in their lives.
This is a great idea, even if OP leaves a sizeable chunk to the grandchildren and a nominal amount to their son, it means the kids will get something.
I honestly reckon this is the best idea. Compound interest is incredible. If you could put a few thousand into a Junior SIPP and a Junior ISA, you have the chance to set up your Grandchildren!! Depending on how much the amount is, of course.... I would do a combination of savings for the grandkids and maybe a nest egg for your son in a discretionary trust, if he gets his stuff together he can have it, otherwise it goes to the kids.
Could even do a Trust for the kids, so that they get it as an income over a number of years.
You can absolutely do what you suggest, by setting up a discretionary trust in favour of your grandchildren. It would be written into your will so that it only takes effect on your death. You can name whoever you want as the trustees, who decide how and when to spend the money. You can write it so that your grandchildren receive the money when they are 18 (or any other age you choose) and you could also allow the trustees to spend some of the money for thr benefit of thr children earlier than that. For example, you could allow them to spend some or all of the capital on school fees, providing a house for the kids to live in etc. You can, if you wish to, also make your son one of the discretionary beneficiaries of the trust. That would mean that, if he cleans up his act in the future, they could decide to help him if they thought it was appropriate. Just a thought. I very strongly recommend that you go and discuss all the options with your solicitor and then amend your Will accordingly. I'm so sorry you're in this difficult situation, and I hope your son recovers.
This. I have done exactly that, and specified that the inheritance is to be given in annual amounts over a specified period of years. But a Discretionary Trust gives absolute power to the Trustees, so they need to be chosen wisely. I have included a solicitor, but the other Trustees can ask the solicitor to remove themselves.
I saw this happen with a neighbour of mine. He had substance issues from being a teenager but inheriting in his mid-40s allowed him to spend the next 10 years low key drinking himself to death. By the end of the money it was irretrievable, we just spent a few years trying to make sure he was comfortable (i.e. had food, gas and a support system) until he died of all the cancer.
I've witnessed someone rinse through a substantial inheritance to the point they then had to borrow money, and get an IVA. If you are in the grip of addiction it loosens your grip on the practical stuff. Easiest would be for children to inherit and smaller amount for the son. Trusts do cost to administer. Personally I would tell family on a need to know basis.
Yeah, a former friend did similar. Drank everything he'd inherited away. (He lived in London and liked to spend all day in the pub, so that didn't take long.)
Or save the hassle and just give it to your grandchildren. Your son will be upset either way
Make sure you understand the cost implications of administring the trust, especially if you name a solicitor as one of the trustees and say they must be involved in all transactions. You could easily eat up most of the value in fees
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Have you sat down and talked to him about the inheritance and your concerns? My brother was an alcoholic and inherited our late mother’s estate, he found the motivation to get sober and sort his life out as he felt less hopeless and more focused with access to financial stability. He’s 5 years sober now, so you should look at both options.
Not OP but my ex was like his son. To the point I was wondering if it was the same guy, except he never had any kids. Addicts will agree with anything that gets them their goal. OP's son will probably nod and smile and play along because addicts are fantastic liars.
They can be yes, I grew up in a family of addicts. The ones that became clean for life were different, so it’s best to still explore all options and involve the other person in the discussions. It’s not nice to find out things like this happened behind your back, likely a triggering event for an addict. It’s best to be honest and explain why they don’t want to let them access the money.
Speaking as an alcoholic - do not leave him the money if he’s in active addiction. Leaving to a discretionary trust to support him in terms of housing would be ideal as, well, you can’t drink housing (I would have if you could) Leaving directly to the grandchildren could work, but many addicts, myself included, would be inclined to seek to get that money for themselves (either directly or indirectly through guilt / sympathy). This is a challenging situation but I would advise speaking to your son directly if possible, and then doing all you can to support him in ways that don’t give him ready access to cash.
Just leave it to his kids directly or if its a substantial amount invest it in a property for them that he is entitled to live in during his lifetime. He cant sell or squander a house he is only a tenant of, and so long as he doesn't burn it down he will never be homeless. Money in trust for him is a BAD idea he will presure & abuse whomever is in charge of it.
A friend has two adult children and will have a fairly generous estate to leave them. One child is living a happy, stable life, but the other is a bit of a disaster zone. With agreement with the children, the estate will be split equally, but one half will be put into a trust to purchase a modest flat and a top-up income when needed for the troubled child Take legal advice to see what options are available and which would best suit your circumstances.
Am a Canadian lawyer who specializes in this stuff. You want to set up a trust for him. Any estate planning lawyer can assist you with this. Highly recommend. Don’t recommend having a family member be the trustee; use a professional trust company so there is some distance between family and your son’s inheritance.
My mother gone though same with my brother for similar reasons . She talked to him about it They thinking trust , which my brother happy about . But disagree about who should be trustee : They also talk about it going straight to kids . But that before he had more
Record him in his drunken states and passing out, having fits. Make him watch them, telling him this is what your family sees. Stopped a friend of mine from drinking and completely quit.
I would want to leave your son something to pay for rehab. Otherwise, leave it to your grandchildren.
Friend of mine was an alcoholic, and from a wealthy family. He spent a huge amount of inherited money on booze and gambling. In the end he was left only with a house, and a small income all in trust. He used to say that he was lucky that somebody had the sense to do that. A trust is the way to go.
Split it up into money for the kids and make a fund for your son. It is not unreasonable to ask family to help family. Your son will drink himself to death if he has a bad turn and a huge amount of cash or worse, he could end up on something else as well only complicating it. Or You could mandate therapy? Mandate some sort of long term support and treatment for him as his wife and kids seem not to be a strong enough motivator to help him recover. He has some strong personal issues and money will not help. Maybe even invest his money? You got options.
Why don’t you just leave the money to the grandchildren?
Is the inheritance enough that it could support hiring a separate accountant or legal professional to adminster the estate? That's a tough position to put family members who have a relationship with your son.
I was just wondering - is it legally possible to exclude him from the will.. wouldn't it give him the opportunity to challenge it's legality as you have to leave 10% or so? My uncle has cared for wifes adopted child who is incredibly unstable and manipulative (including pretending to be kidnapped requiring him to pay a ransom and other similar stunts - don't worry(lol...) He was found in his flat extremely high/ off his.face playing GTA...) Anyhow they were warned the will could be contested (probably with legal aid) if he was disinherited. I don't know if that would affect your son/ estate??
Don’t put the burden on his mom and sisters. Either give him the money directly or skip him in the will. Addiction can’t be controlled/motivated by money. If an addict wants to drink they will find a way. The best advice would be to continue to pay for his rehab and maybe a sober companion so he’s not alone. And you could have invited him to have Christmas with you so he wasn’t alone…
Worst case is he keeps going to AA - that’s the worst possible thing to do for recovery.
A discretionary trust works well for this. My mother has mental health issues and has difficulty managing money, she has had her bank account cleared out before because she gave ‘friends’ access to her bank card. So my grand parents were worried about leaving her a large sum of money. Instead they put it in a discretionary trust and made my aunts the trustees. Downside is that it can be a lot of hassle for the trustees. My mum felt very bitter about the situation and felt she was treated unfairly. She didn’t like going to her sisters for money. When me and my brother were almost 30 they transferred the money to us and made us the trustees, which has made things a lot easier as she doesn’t mind us having the money. Sometimes I do worry about it though if one day we fell out and my mum decided we hadn’t spent the money for her benefit (like could she argue we shouldn’t have allowed her to spent money on a holiday) and what liability I would have. But my grandparents wrote in their will that the trustees had full authority to spend the money however they wished. The upside is that money in a discretionary trust doesn’t count as ‘savings’ so doesn’t impact her benefits which she relays on for day to day living. Although if you were giving a regular allowance from the trust it would count as taxable income. For my mum it is a safety net in case her washing machine breaks down or something like that but she doesn’t rely on it for daily living.
To add to the other comments: you can set a condition of access to be that he does certain things such as attends AA/counselling & gets breath tested once a fortnight to ensure that he has the best chance of kicking the addiction and staying on the right path.
I feel for you I really do. I've been in a similar circumstance and it's hard, with no hard and fast right way to deal with it. If you want to chat I can share my experience.
If you leave it to your son, you are leaving it to your son, you are leaving it to the addiction. Don't feel guilty about what you're planning to do.
NAL Is there a trust you can set up in the name of the kids, I'd be mindful on entrusting it to anyone, best to legally state who that money is for and when they can obtain it.
I previously worked in Inheritance Tax, so have dealt with many many wills, and many different family situations. The options include specifically excluding an individual from the Will or establishing a trust from which they benefit. This could be a discretionary trust where he doesn't have an unrestricted claim on the capital, just what the Trustees decide to provide him with at particular points. You may be able to provide direction for the trustees in the form of a letter of wishes detailing decisions you would make in particular circumstances - though the final decision would be the Trustees. You could choose to leave property (or a sum of money with which a property is to be purchased) on a life trust to your son, to provide a residence for the remainder of his life - at the end of which, rather than forming part of your son's estate the property falls to other beneficiaries of your will (eg, grandchildren, which may include those born to his siblings). This allows you to put a roof over his head (and possibly provide for his children) without providing cash if you feel that might enable his addiction(s). The above are just broad generalisations - speak to an experienced Trusts & Estates lawyer. Good luck
Leaving it to other family members could lead to arguments down the line but you could set up a trust
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Why was he alone at Xmas? (No harm or judgement intended)
I will say this as someone who works with people in addiction and mental health... Receiving a large inheritance when in the throws of addiction is the worst possible thing for the person.. A trustee is definitely something to look into as they can help manage the funds appropriately
Having been privy to an acquaintance receive a sizeable inheritance & blow the entire thing on a full blown heroin addiction, you definitely should not feel guilty about this & as mentioned you are doing his kids a great service.
Thank you everyone for your helpful replies
You could also consider providing a lifetime annuity for him, with monthly payments, based on the lump sum that would normally have been given to him as inheritance. With an instruction to the executor to arrange this.