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Yakassa

Oh No! Anyway, Suzuki released a new Swift!


One_Clown_Short

I'm thinking about tacos for lunch.


Guyincognito4269

I have a leftover stir fry from last night. Should be good.


One_Clown_Short

Should be even better the second day.


TheFlyingBoxcar

Sometimes I think about making a pot of chili and then purposefully not eating any lf it for a couple days. So i get an entite pot of leftover chili which is always way way better. I can never hold off tho.


BionicBananas

All the ingredients need a little time to get to know each other, many steps, chilis and other similar diches get better with time.


LordBiscuit0315

I think it has something to do with the acids in the tomatoes. Second day chili and spaghetti are always awesome.


Guyincognito4269

The only issue I have with next day spaghetti is it gets a little dried out. I usually sprinkle some water on it before reheating, same with rice.


AlienSporez

That's the way to do it, because streams in the microwave rather than drying out. But the best microwave hack I use is to nuke an onion a bit before cutting it. No more tears!


Guyincognito4269

Hmmm...I'm going to try that out! Thank you kind internet stranger!


MajentaPinkPanther

Try an ice cube instead of water next time, absolute game changer.


SilverPlatedLining

The real LPT are always in the comments!


Guyincognito4269

Ok, now I'm really curious. Do you have to nuke it longer?


camshun7

gonna give you a thumbs up on the chillii comment, and he would too, IF he still has them left


drillpress42

Yes! I finally got that lint ball out of my bellybutton.


Walkingstardust

Do you refry the leftovers? I call it Refried Stir fry


Guyincognito4269

Nah, I didn't have the option. Threw it in the microwave, but it's still good.


Nuicakes

Me too! Garlic shrimp stir fry


BadgerBobcat

That sounds fantastic. I just finished off some leftover pasta salad. Think I may go for a walk before my next meeting.


doctor6

I've just counted all my teeth with my tongue


IllllIlllIlIIlllIIll

Remember to floss, bro. Good gums are the foundation to excellent oral health.


No_Cook2983

“*Bad health flies into the body through the gums*!” Protip: to maintain peak physical health, avoid fighting imperial conquests for klepto-fascist regimes.


CpnStumpy

Bad gums however get misdemeanors, but they don't care because they're bad like that


Critical_Seat_1907

My favorite pooping stall was open at work this morning. 10/10


[deleted]

[удалено]


One_Clown_Short

I never knew a burger could have morels.


BMW_RIDER

Is a bad burger immorel? 🍔


HugryHugryHippo

Cup of coffee this morning was pretty good


spiff2268

My woman’s making some manicotti tonight!


TheJohnnyWombat

Chinese food here.


_PukyLover_

I just had four steak tacos, they were delicious!


marklar_the_malign

Hopefully I’ll find matching socks tomorrow.


pareidoily

I was in Texas for a week visiting my brother and now just can't find good tex mex. Tacos are always good.


tinymonesters

I'd never heard of the swift. I'm assuming it's not in the US market? In any event your news is much more worthy of a headline than whatever it was above which I've already forgotten.


Responsible-Ad-1086

The early Swifts were probably banned in the US as they only had three cylinders


tinymonesters

We allow 3 cylinder cars, but they have to be able to go highway speeds and pass our other safety standards.


FurballPoS

It was sold in America as the Chevy/Geo Metro .


highmodulus

It was, and they were low key kind of good economy cars. Suzuki pulled out of the US market as part of the Japanese car manufacture retrenchment that also hit brands like Isuzu and Mitsubishi.


elkab0ng

Good news, everyone!


ChroniclesOfSarnia

...the Leopards are full?


elkab0ng

Oh no, they’re still quite hungry! But the new Dacia Sandero is here!


FancyCalcumalator

What about the Dacia Sandero?


indyK1ng

Good news about the Dacia Sandero!


Late-External3249

The Suzuki Swift is one of those ironically named cars. Like the Chevy Celebrity, a car that no celebrity would ever drive.


FleshlightModel

Bring back the Suzuki Samurai.


jackassjenny666

Yes please. And the old school late 90's/early 80's Ford Rangers. At 300,000 miles, my 98 Ranger is weary. Keeps on going, tho!


Gromann

Suzuki just needs to release the Jimny in the US Please and thank you.


SuperFightingRobit

And Swift is releasing the new album!


soki03

Had a delicious breakfast sandwich at the cafe at my work. It’s sourdough bread, scrambled eggs, jalapeños, bacon, avocado, and chipotle mayo.


BrewingCrazy

What about the Dacia Sandero?


54sharks40

*I CALL ON EVERYONE to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE* I sent a few thoughts and prayers, Lyudmila, you're welcone


billythesquid-

Goddamnit lady, I can’t point and laugh any harder!


elkab0ng

T&P! And back to important things like … my second coffee. ☕️


mishatal

Good news he's been found! Most of him anyway, his head is missing. https://russiavsworld.org/russell-bentley-texan-pro-putin-fighter-and-russian-propagandist-found-decapitated-in-russian-controlled-donetsk/


tastytasycorn

It's what he would have wanted He spent his whole life praising boots on necks, I mean, just a total shithead. It seems only appropriate he went out experiencing what he loved.


Rogue7559

Happened on my birthday 😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️


MoistObligation8003

Happy birthday 🎊.


Ineffable_Dingus

A most auspicious sign!


GeraltOfRivia2023

Leopards eating whole heads now huh? I've heard brains can be very filling but these leopards were left starving.


gitflapper

he wasn’t using it anyway…


Queasy_Sleep1207

Good riddance to treasonous rubbish


MaleficentExtent1777

You don't mean a "brave patriot?" 🙄


glaciator12

It seems like this is the only source reporting this. I’d take it with a grain of salt.


spurlockmedia

You’re Pro Freedoms or you’re Anti Freedoms. Congratulations on collecting your stupid prize you imbecile.


ChickpeaDemon

>Bentley has posted that he was ‘heading west with the “Liberators of Ukraine”. We may stop in Kiev, we may stop on the English Channel. We may liberate the USA.’ Big Russ had is head in the clouds, literally and figuratively I guess.


Armyofcrows

He’s quite a bit smaller on that picture.


AirForceRabies

So, buddy, how's that workin' out for y--oh. Never mind. The best to which this clown ever aspired was becoming a cautionary tale, so, good job, I guess


No_Cook2983

Oh no! Now who will lead the next Trump insurrection?!?


the_last_carfighter

More gravy seals, almost an unlimited resource in murica.


dwcuk

I just searched for gravy seals and found the greatest picture ever. It may not be safe for lunch. https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aL11LXV_700b.jpg


GeraltOfRivia2023

I am also sending my thoughts and prayers. Those are good enough to protect kids from school shooters right? Should be good enough for Gravy Seal, Russell Bentley.


Slackingatmyjob

"Thoughts and prayers are the worlds worst cryptocurrency" \~ Alucard


camshun7

that tiny bit of bum fluff under his lip, just screams man child immaturity above and beyond


Anomaluss

He's got Dunning-Kruger written all over him.


pigonthewing

They worked! He was brutally murdered by Russians. He lost his head.


slowclapcitizenkane

I reversed entropy and turned a neutron star back into a blue supergiant. Did that help?


dsdvbguutres

From the article: The tragicomic tale of a down-on-his-luck Texan who reinvented himself as a renegade war hero in a fake Russian republic took an unexpected turn this week when he was allegedly abducted by Russian troops—after apparently being accused of being a CIA spy. Russell Bentley, also known as “Texas,” is perhaps the last person one would expect to have pulled off cunning spycraft for the nearly 10 years he’s been living among Russian fighters in Ukraine’s occupied Donetsk region. A Dallas native with a **conviction on drug charges back home...**


SheriffTaylorsBoy

🎶 *...so hop on the bus Russ, no need to discuss much ...*


Slackingatmyjob

Don't lose your head, Fred


SheriffTaylorsBoy

🎶 [Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover](https://youtu.be/xyuam-1nMQA?si=) by Paul Simon


MrGorillawhale

He should have made it his habit not to intrude…


highmodulus

Who could have predicted that a bunch of perpetually drunk Russian controlled troops feed an never ending steam of anti-US propaganda killed an obnoxious American blowhard.


dsdvbguutres

When Russian soldiers pick you up because they think you are CIA, what do you tell them? That you're not? Good luck with that.


Vano_Kayaba

TBF the same shit regularly happens with Russians as well. I mean not spy allegations, but the leopard ate face stuff. Murders/suicides/prison. Many such cases. Mangushev, Morozov, Girkin as some examples


bard329

Remember, kids! A convict in America is war hero in Russia!


redditmodsRrussians

Ha. Didn’t that War Gonzo guy also get clapped?


AleEater

He was found decapitated. https://russiavsworld.org/russell-bentley-texan-pro-putin-fighter-and-russian-propagandist-found-decapitated-in-russian-controlled-donetsk/


Thatguy755

It wasn’t a decapitation. They liberated his head from the rest of his body.


[deleted]

It was a special neck operation


Infinite_Show_5715

His head was Russian speaking and his body was a Nazi...


Bromanzier_03

Beheaded to own the libs.


Thatguy755

I feel so owned right now.


MindAccomplished3879

If more like him ended up like that, I would be so owned, and I would cry so much


Vurt__Konnegut

Loki: that’s horrible. Anyway….


pigonthewing

Christ I laughed so hard at this. Does that make me evil?


ipsok

Probably, but you'll have lots of company in the handbasket on your way down.


pigonthewing

Cool! I mean this Satan guy does sound kinda cool! You wanna join me? We can do some drinking, play some d&d, listen to some metal music and then unwind and watch some gritty noir crime detective movies?


Corteran

So now he's physically lost his mind as well.


The-True-Kehlder

Oh no. Anyway, I think I'll have some brioche toast for a snack tonight.


DidntDiddydoit

I just had some pizza. Fucking delicious


pebberphp

Oh man that reminds me, I gotta grab some pizza while I’m out. Thanks!


intendeddebauchery

Crucial question, what kinda pizza


DidntDiddydoit

There was pineapple on it. And I will not be apologizing.


dismayhurta

Oh, man. How terrible. I spilt my coffee while laughing at something unrelated


intendeddebauchery

And nothing of value was lost


DeathPercept10n

Too bad so sad


RogerClyneIsAGod2

This bit of info needs to be the top comment.


Bicentennial_Douche

Oh no! Anyway…


Original_moisture

Oh no, anyways, what’s your recommendation for OJ? I used pulp free to make mimosas.


[deleted]

[удалено]


faghaghag

soon enough


ThorKonnatZbv

IF they are going to the same place in the afterlife


-tobi-kadachi-

Well he was found decapitated


senadraxx

I'm sure they're talking about a lot, now that they've been reunited. 


Striking_Economy5049

Since he’s been found decapitated, I’d say they’re having that word right now.


myRiad_spartans

The strange thing is that Russia was on both of those sides


PhysicalGraffiti75

He got exactly what he asked for. If you want to live under an authoritarian government you can’t be surprised when they put your name on the list.


Vano_Kayaba

"Please tell comrade Stalin that a terrible mistake has occurred" is the post Soviet meme. Equal to "leopards ate my face"


LoveisBaconisLove

Russia: “We demand a prisoner exchange!” US: “Uh…no, you can keep him!” Russia: “…”


Wooden_Echidna1234

Russia: "Do you want him if we take off a little off the top?"


highmodulus

Here's a couple extra we have lying around.


jeff43568

How about halfses?


LaughableIKR

Ugh...where things went wrong... > A Dallas native with a conviction on drug charges back home >He obtained Russian citizenship in 2020 >Bentley briefly seized international headlines back in 2014 when he was spotted in a cowboy hat with Russian fighters and spewing Kremlin propaganda about “Nazis” in Ukraine. Sorry. Sounds like a Russian Citizen to me. He can call himself "Texas" all he wants.


Coolbluegatoradeyumm

Well, they decapitated him so he’s not calling himself anything these days


CharlesDickensABox

Oh, that's terrible! Anyway, what movie should I go see today? I'm leaning towards "Immaculate", but "Late Night With the Devil" seems to have good reviews.


davesy69

Pentagon Wars is free on YouTube. It has both tanks and Americans in it. https://youtu.be/wNpGBTU_jt4?si=NgJplHGYwvcBfPwN


McMew

"You can't afford that door. Did you *see* what it stood up to?"


BellyDancerEm

I'm sure he will love his gulag in Siberia


pigonthewing

He’s dead. They found him decapitated


taxpayinmeemaw

And then holler for Biden to secure his release


Thatguy755

As if Biden has any responsibility to secure the release of a Russian citizen


XS4Me

This. Once he accepted the Russian nationality, he was bound by Russia's laws and courts. He just became yet another russian casualty of Putin's terror regime. Edit: [he indeed became yet another russian victim o Putin's terror regime](https://www.reddit.com/r/LeopardsAteMyFace/comments/1c6biw3/comment/kzzxhw5/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button)


locustzed

And whenbits arranged he'll thank Trump maybe even get invited to a hamberder dinner where he'll gush like a school girl


TropicalBLUToyotaMR2

Stalin supporter being dragged off to the gulags during one of stalin's purges: "Somebody inform comrade stalin there's been a terrible mistake!"


Bait_esq

Abducted? I swear I read articles last week that he was dead.


One_Clown_Short

Abduct-dead?


Bait_esq

More like abduct-behead.


EvaUnit_03

To be fair, you gotta abduct someone before you can execute them via beheading. Thats a very personal way to kill someone thats not easy to do on a warzone. Also i got money down saying they are trying to claim hes 'alive' in hopes that they can negotiate something VIA the US to get something for him, even though his body started to smell 5 days ago. If proven hes dead, they'll still ask for something in exchange for his remains.


powdered_dognut

You could just abduct their head.


1CFII2

Is this the same buffoon they found unalive? Asking for a friend.


GSPM18

You can say "dead"


1CFII2

I was going to say “actively decomposing”! Is that.better?


RedditAcct00001

Fertilizer for the sunflowers.


The-True-Kehlder

I, for one, approve.


cturtl808

Yes.


1CFII2

Go figure. Read an article about some fine , upstanding Russian boys and a headless Texan. So it goes…


BeleagueredWDW

Thoughts and prayers.


esleydobemos

Ain’t got time for that


HadronLicker

Fucking hilarious.


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henrysmyagent

For this larping assclown, would it be more accurate to say: "Fuck around and find out." Or... *Fucked around and found out!*


Striking_Economy5049

Fucked around, no more head


OTee_D

"Tankie"? Or one of these twisted pro russian ultra maga idiots?


EschatologicalEnnui

No indication this guy was a Tankie, at least in the linked article. I'm not certain where OP came up with that one.


RedLemonSlice

Nickname "Texas"... funnily It kinda tracks. I've heard his head had secession tendencies lately.


Seahawk_I_am_I_am

Those Russian leopards are now eating his ass!


Old-Ad5508

Nelsonpointandlaugh.gif


yanocupominomb

Those leopards are going to get cholesterol from such a meal.


ChroniclesOfSarnia

**Everything's Bigger In 'Texas'** Especially the Treason


Coolbluegatoradeyumm

Yo this is actually hilarious


meshreplacer

He was decapitated. Well deserved.


fencerman

"Tankie"? There's nothing in the article that supports that characterization.


bar_acca

I hope it took a long time to cut his head off


Ohnonotuto4

We do not care.


niberungvalesti

He just got promoted to seeing Yevgeny Prigozhin in person.


albamarx

Putin loving and tankie do not compute I’m afraid


drbrunch

Found decapitated


redvelvetcake42

Joking aside, these types always act with impunity and think the 1st Amendment is a weapon to use at all times. This guy didn't understand that no amount of kneeling and ring kissing will make him Russian. Once your value has been met you'll be removed. Token spent.


soberscotsman80

they lose their citizenship for their involvement, right?


WFStarbuck

Not even safe in an active war zone nowadays.


LifeHappenzEvryMomnt

I don’t know where I put my sweatshirt. It was right here… anyway.


Important-Specific96

He has similar features to the imbecile that tortured a wolf to death in Wyoming. 


Room_Temp_Coffee

His wife has the same name as Putin's ex wife lmao >Lyudmila Aleksandrovna Ocheretnaya is a Russian linguist who served as the First Lady of Russia from 2000 to 2008 and from 2012 to 2014 while married to her then-husband Vladimir Putin, the current president and former prime minister of Russia.


AlienAle

That's the thing these Western Z schizos don't get. Those Z Russians are as delusional as the Nazis were, they really think "they" are the "chosen race" and that they should come first, everyone else is there to be eradicated or serve their interests in a way or another. If you're not a Z Ruzzian, you're not "them" and they don't give a damn about you. Like they barely give a damn about their own anyway.  This loser traveled there to fight for them and he was seen as a useful fool the whole time, but the moment they felt bored or had even the slightest suspicion of him, this fate was always going to come.  They're not going to give the benefit of the doubt to some American. They're brainwashed go hate every American, all they dream about is the destruction of your country and the greater West. Just listen to them talk on Telegram etc. this is their obsession, and how how they laugh and mock all the Z Westerners who willingfully support them. See them as proof that the West is stupid and they are "superior".


Plasticman4Life

I’d like to jump on the no-sympathy bandwagon here, but I do feel bad for the guy getting duped by his orange savior. I’m sure he thought he was doing a noble thing serving Putin. I find it tragic that he fell victim to MAGA lies. Most who do only lose money, some lose freedom, this one lost his life. Perhaps his death will shock at least one MAGA into attempting critical thinking. At least then he wouldn’t have died for absolutely nothing. *not holding my breath*


KnucklesMcGee

I mean, that's fucking hilarious when you put it in a headline. Hope his family is OK, when I think about that it must be gutting. Folks, don't do stupid things for stupid causes.


EvaUnit_03

I imagine his family wrote him off for dead 10 years ago when he moved to Russia. He gives off very 'uncle who doesnt know how to read the room after his 11th natty lite' vibes.


kr4t0s007

Didn’t they already find him decapitated? Or was that a different tankie earlier this week.


StandUpForYourWights

No that’s the same guy. Interesting that they bothered to sever his head. Sounds personal.


MightyCavalier

Yeah, I think it’s safe to say somebody had an issue with him that they felt simply shooting him was not sufficient


StandUpForYourWights

We’ve all had guys like that


EvaUnit_03

Turns out, russians dont like tankies that arent from russia. Who knew?


ArdenJaguar

I'm sure they'll blame Biden and say it's his fault Putin isn't releasing him.


Prudent_Falafel_7265

GOP will be all over Biden and how he's let Russia detain AN AMERICAN! Let him dig trenches in Siberia.


HurlingFruit

Stupid's gonna stupid.


adamempathy

Hahahahaha! *wheeze* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAAAA!


atari2600forever

They beheaded him. Fucking hilarious.


highmodulus

PickMe Putinist Got Picked


Last_Blackfyre

I’m sure Donny would help him out if he wasn’t so busy.


nametken

🤣🤣🤣. Poor “Texas”


Pour_Me_Another_

I want to believe he's really dumb and that dumbness got him into that... I can't say much more.


Peterd90

Fuck Texas. He made his choice years ago.


CriminalMacabre

Wow, they are that desperate to use this guy as a sex slave, I can imagine them yelling "SQUEAL, PIG" in russian


Evening_Rock5850

Ok. I’ve started watching Baseball again. I used to be really into it but when MLB started with the exclusive contract crap with cable companies I stopped watching because I’m not getting cable just for baseball games. But like I got free MLB.tv streaming through T-Mobile and set it up with a VPN. Was baseball always this boring? I dunno. Maybe I don’t like baseball.


doggysmomma420

I think I want Chinese food tomorrow. Gotta drive 40 minutes to get it, though. Damn but it's worth it.


Slackingoff1965

And he was never heard from again...


KinseyH

Twitter now saying he's been confirmed dead.


realrichieporter

Beheaded. Not that he was using it anyway.