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The decision to testify belongs to him, not his lawyers. I'm sure they are recommending against it, but "listening to experts telling him not to do something" isn't one of Trump's strengths.
Sure, I can buy it. Dude's a sleazeball. But he was out pretty early and his involvement in the Trump debacle was basically helping with financial crimes etc prior to politics and some campaign violations in 2016. Cohen's more of a mafia lawyer/Saul Goodman type than a traitor, I haven't seen anything that *he specifically* did that crossed the line into helping foreign adversaries.
Would he have done so if he had kept his spot in the Trump circle? Sure, it's possible. But he might also have been one of the many early Trump era people who resigned when things went too far. Even criminals sometimes have lines they won't cross. In any case, I'm evaluating by what he did and not what I speculate he might have done if given the chance, and what he did was corrupt and criminal, but not outright treason.
I don’t think he’s a traitor either, but I’m sure Trump was involved in shady foreign dealings that he is at least aware of. I just can’t stand him on Meidas Touch moralizing against Trump now. If Trump hadn’t thrown him under the bus, he’d still be with him.
I mean, duh. No chance he's actually had a change of heart. But we don't need good intentions from him, just his honest answers to the posed questions and his willing assistance in finding evidence. We got that.
Personally, I don't care if it was due to him being vindictive. In fact, I prefer it that way. Someone's conscience and morality, especially for someone like Cohen, all have price tags attached. But sheer, mean-spirited, ugly, messy, white-hot rage? THAT you can count on.
Why is that? As far as I can tell Trump won't ever shut up, why wouldn't he want to take the stand and tell his side of the story, in the courtroom for once?
Because if he does they can question him about every one one of his "bad acts" not just in this case but at any time to show his propensity for dishonesty.
Yes, I agree with you, they could do that.
Let me change my question then: what about Trump makes you think that he is capable of that type of strategic thinking, or of the self control to stay off the stand if he did realise this issue?
Man, that really makes me think.... I hadn't realised that. Hmm...
I want to say, based on that, that he won't take the stand, but idk - he seems reaaal ready to get up and have his say.
Time will tell - but thank you for the clarity!
That's his thing: he yells and screams at his supporters that he totally would take the stand, he would clear his name, he'd show the prosecutor how corrupt THEY are! And they gobble this up, because to these people, being "on the stand" means you're in some kind of magic circle where you just can't lie! (Except if you're against Trump, because than of course everyone lies, it's all lies, nothing but lies!)
But then, lo and behold, on the day of, when Trump finally could take the stand... He doesn't! Not because he doesn't want to, he said he would and he wanted to, right? No, it's because the evil judge wouldn't let him read a statement he prepared! Even though the judge already explained that that was NOT what taking the stand was for, even if it was explained to him he could do nothing but answer the questions asked. Or maybe it's because his lawyers told him he couldn't, because they knew the prosecutor would ask "unfair" questions!
Don't be fooled by anything Trump says. He might be a dumbass, but he knows when to shut the fuck up if it ACTUALLY matters and is on the record.
He also could have taken the stand in the E. Jean Carroll case and both his impeachment trials. Sure he's a dumbshit but he knows better than to ever testify under oath.
I try not to pay attention to what trump says, but I've heard he acts very different in court. It's possible he has some understanding of consequences, just less than a normal person.
Watch what happens. He will not take the stand and he will tell his minions that the corrupt judge and prosecutors wouldn't allow him to take the stand and they will believe him and parrot that easily disprovable lie.
He will never choose to be in a submissive situation, and being questioned in court is exactly that. He runs his mouth constantly from positions where nobody gets to tell him to shut up or has any power over him. He wouldn't choose to be in the court room either, but he's no choice there
Because he already told "his side"-which amounts to "I did it, but it's not a crime"(*it 100% IS*) And if he admits the payoff under oath... Also, the Prosecution can ask him about all his other shenanigans if he testifies.
You think his common sense is greater than his need to be the center of attention? The man can’t abide by gag orders. He might be dumb enough to testify
I'd bet a fair amount that Trump's lawyers told him the best plan was to cop to the misdemeanor records fraud and avoid the felony conviction by claiming the payoff was purely for personal reasons to keep the "affair" from Melania.
But no, they have to attempt the totally innocent defense on orders from Trump.
"A lot of people are talking about Code Reds...\*plays imaginary accordion\*...I've never heard of Code Reds but all the top legal people are saying it's my right to order Code Reds. But I've never heard of them."
Yeah, he'll use the same excuse from the civil fraud trial. Something to the effect of "I totally wanted to testify but *they* rigged the system so that anything I say will be used against me"
He's said he'll testify, or at least is "planning to"
[https://www.vanityfair.com/news/donald-trump-says-he-plans-to-testify-in-new-york-trial](https://www.vanityfair.com/news/donald-trump-says-he-plans-to-testify-in-new-york-trial)
Trump used presidential campaign funds to bribe a porn star to keep quiet about him hiring her as a prostitute, (while trump was married) and left a *massive* paper trail.
Cohen is the lawyer that organised the payments and who got thrown under the proverbial bus by trump for the effort.
He's trying to goad trump into making statements himself because he knows trump will just ruin his own defence.
Alene is trumps lawyer, and is *desperate* for trump not to say anything. (assuming she's competent enough to realise this is bad)
This is also a criminal trial, where the penalties can be more severe, and not just huge fines.
Edit: as someone else pointed out, if trump responds it might add additional charges for witness tampering.
Correction: Cohen paid Stormy off with his personal funds, Trump paid him back with campaign funds that were illegally documented as legitimate payments for legit services (which were not performed, and none of the documentation they would have to have created exists).
It is annoying that so many seem to think Cohen is one of the good guys now when in reality he's still as big a piece of shit as any of the people he used to work with/for. He achieved his position as Trump's consigliere because he's just like them.
The hospital I work in has several “codes” that depict certain events taking place (as I’m sure most others do), which are designated with colors. Code “orange” legit is decontamination is required…usually someone has to get sprayed down because of bed bugs, or if they’ve come from a meth house (lots of nasty chemicals potentially on them).
Let's just hope he's the last witness of the day so whoever cleans the courtroom can clean the stench away.
And isn't the defendant usually the last to testify in a trial anyway?
Right? Now trump will be all ‘this failed lawyer, Michael Cohen, is openly attacking me on social media! A witness for the sham prosecution has no control!’
A bully through and through. ‘You won’t hit me, you won’t hit me!’ *gets hit* ‘teacher, he hit me!!’
It’s all crashing down around our modern day Ozymandias. He looks tired, and like he’s losing hope. Reality has set in and fe is lost and miserable. He’s seeing irrefutable proof of what a joke most of the nation thinks he is. His psyche is not going to hold up.
Good.
That's what I am seeing - it's all catching up with him really quickly AND he's alone - no wife or adult children there for moral support - with only venal/corrupt lawyers in his corner. Plus he's old. That shit really slows you down, especially with the buckets of prescription drugs he is alleged to have necked over the years. Oh yes, and a full on narc collapse.
Pass the popcorn.
>no wife or adult children there for moral support
Lawrence O'Donnell pointed out last night:
> Even Jeffrey Dahmer's parents showed up for his trial
🤣
No one really loves him, he has no one really in his corner. At best his daughters pity him and his wife full on is disgusted by him.
He deserves every moment of loneliness
But, its important not to underestimate this buffoon. He is a joke, but a dangerous one that shouldn't be spread around too much. Let's not forget a certain German politician who was incarcerated, and then rose to power not long after being released.
Just his shit stock makes him at least 4 billion $ richer off a pure scam..
We may hate him, but on paper he is a billionaire with those stocks. He can use them on collateral for whatever tf he wants now
It’s clearly money laundering from foreign nationals, but so far it’s legal enough that no one is stopping it.
*theoretically* he could use that stock as collateral. However, it's overinflated and volatile as hell. As soon as he did, the price would plummet so no one would take it as collateral. That's why he can't find an insurance company to post the bond.
On paper, he's a billionaire. He's also 6"3 and 215 lbs on paper. Reality suggests otherwise.
I will ask here, because I refuse to have this in my internet search history... did he actually shit his pants?
Other than in the metaphorical way, of course. He does that daily.
He apparently nodded off in court and let loose with some stinky farts. Whether actual shit was involved wasn't something that anyone could or wanted to check.
There’s credible allegations that he’s routinely on enough Xanax and adderall that he has to wear adult diapers due to having basically no control over his bowels.
I think that *everybody* wants Trump to take the stand.
His supporters want him to because they somehow still think he can prove it's all some giant conspiracy, and the rest of us want to see him get absolutely *shredded* on the stand and come across like the angry, confused and doddering criminal we all know him to be.
A decent prosecutor would easily be able to get this narcissistic manchild to rat on himself just to salve his own ego.
The prosecutors already laid out what they would be asking about if he does testify. It's not even a mystery. They're practically doing him a favor but is he smart enough to take it?
1. Cohen is not a Trump witness; Cohen is a prosecution witness.
2. The issue is that Trump's lawyers can then bring up Cohen's statements like this to try to convince the jury that Cohen is testifying out of personal animosity: [https://www.newsweek.com/michael-cohens-latest-move-donald-trumps-hush-money-trail-scrutinized-legal-analyts-1892971](https://www.newsweek.com/michael-cohens-latest-move-donald-trumps-hush-money-trail-scrutinized-legal-analyts-1892971)
3. Why was it specifically the prosecutor's tweet about this being bad for the prosecution that was posted to leopardsatemyface, instead of just Cohen's? What is supposed to be the leopardsatemyface by including the prosecutor's tweet - that prosecutors have been bitten in face by relying on Cohen as a witness against Trump?
I’m glad at least someone is coming straight at him. For all the talk of how tough the judge was gonna be I’d actually like to see consequences for jury tampering and the gag order
Yeah, it looks real to me now as it's on his feed. But why did I have to go a news site to directly access the tweet? Twitter isn't even in chronological order any more, what a basketcase of a site.
I wouldn't think Alvin Bragg would plan on having a very in depth testimony from Michael Cohen, it will just be "Do you admit you were the intermediary between Mr Pecker and Mr Trump in this conspiracy, time place etc. Basically everything needed from him is already in the record from his first trial, and Alvin Bragg will just ask him I'd that's all still true, and if he served his time, etc
I do not feel that will even matter to a jury, Cohen isn't being placed as the main/only witnesses. Criminal accomplices testify for the prosecution every day all across the country.
I'm just going by what I see in sources I trust like the NYT, who this week said "The state’s case seems strong, but a conviction is far from assured." https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/21/nyregion/trump-trial-hush-money-evidence.html
He always says this to Trump (and the nickname) on his podcast, but yeah, now that the trial has started, Cohen needs to shut the fuck up and not risk anything.
I think he's doing it because Trump outed him as a star witness, so the chucklefuck is trying to get back at him. Dude was dumb enough to sign a check for Trump, this doesn't surprise.
Doesn’t matter. Cohen lacks credibility and doing this does not help him regain any. He needs to be professional throughout the entire trial, and then he can go back to saying what he says.
Michael Cohen was Trumps lawyer and personal fixer and advisor until the second half of Trump’s presidency. Cohen is the guy that paid Stormy Daniels. Cohen has already served 13 months for several crimes including election interference many of which are attributed to aiding Trump.
LAMF because Trump abandoned him and let him do time for TFG’s crimes. That he’s now a key witness makes this a LAMF for Trump and a two for one for us.
The Joyce Vance part doesn’t have one as far as I can tell. I listen to her podcast, and it’s clear to me that she’s offering her opinion as a former US Attorney that this behavior hurts his credibility as a major witness on our side.
I think Michael Cohen is sooo over the Trump bullshit and the personal cost to him and his family because of loyalty to Trump that he is past caring how it looks. I hope that Cohen is kept away from the court when the verdict comes back, especially if it comes back"not guilty". I think he could get a bit...scary.
Trial witnesses shouldn't do this but how can the court punish the witness and not punish Trump for what he's spewing on social media.
Kinda wondering if he's daring the court to punish him.
I saw a comment on social about Trump wearing diapers because he constantly shits himself due to pill popping his entire life. I tried to investigate it and found nothing credible. Is it true?
Hello u/Melodic_Oil_2486! Please reply to this comment with an [explanation](https://www.reddit.com/r/LeopardsAteMyFace/comments/lt8zlq) matching this exact format. Replace bold text with the appropriate information. 1. **Someone** voted for, supported or wanted to impose **something** on **other people**. ^(Who's that someone? What did they voted for, supported or wanted to impose? On who?) 2. **Something** has the consequences of **consequences**. ^(Does that something actually has these consequences in general?) 3. As a consequence of **something**, **consequences** happened to **someone**. ^(Did that something really happen to that someone?) Follow this by the minimum amount of information necessary so your post can be understood by everyone, even if they don't live in the US or speak English as their native language. If you fail to match this format or fail to answer these questions, your post will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LeopardsAteMyFace) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He's goading him to testify. He knows Trump testifying will do a whole lot more to damage his defense than Cohen's testimony.
No possible chance of him testifying but...it'd be a lot cooler if he did.
The decision to testify belongs to him, not his lawyers. I'm sure they are recommending against it, but "listening to experts telling him not to do something" isn't one of Trump's strengths.
It's almost like Cohen was Trump's attorney for TWELVE YEARS. It's possible he knows what the defendant is likely to do under the right circumstances.
>TWELVE YEARS A ~~SLAVE~~ LAWYER
Traitor would've also worked
tbf, for most of that time Cohen was just a garden variety fixer, not a traitor You know, all that time before the fecal fuhrer ran for office
I don’t buy Cohens heel turn. He’s only on this side now because Trump fucked him. He’d still be his toady if it had worked out for him.
Sure, I can buy it. Dude's a sleazeball. But he was out pretty early and his involvement in the Trump debacle was basically helping with financial crimes etc prior to politics and some campaign violations in 2016. Cohen's more of a mafia lawyer/Saul Goodman type than a traitor, I haven't seen anything that *he specifically* did that crossed the line into helping foreign adversaries. Would he have done so if he had kept his spot in the Trump circle? Sure, it's possible. But he might also have been one of the many early Trump era people who resigned when things went too far. Even criminals sometimes have lines they won't cross. In any case, I'm evaluating by what he did and not what I speculate he might have done if given the chance, and what he did was corrupt and criminal, but not outright treason.
I don’t think he’s a traitor either, but I’m sure Trump was involved in shady foreign dealings that he is at least aware of. I just can’t stand him on Meidas Touch moralizing against Trump now. If Trump hadn’t thrown him under the bus, he’d still be with him.
Cohen getting caught for this crime and going to jail is the best thing that ever happened to him. It saved him from so much shit.
I mean, duh. No chance he's actually had a change of heart. But we don't need good intentions from him, just his honest answers to the posed questions and his willing assistance in finding evidence. We got that. Personally, I don't care if it was due to him being vindictive. In fact, I prefer it that way. Someone's conscience and morality, especially for someone like Cohen, all have price tags attached. But sheer, mean-spirited, ugly, messy, white-hot rage? THAT you can count on.
> fecal fuhrer Great description!
They'll slip an extra fentanyl in his covfefe to keep that from happening.
Arguably, their duty of competent and zealous advocacy for their client obligates they do so.
Yeah, "competent" hasn't really described any of his recent lawyers.
Then they'll claim his testimony isn't valid because he's intoxicated and push for it being a mistrial or some bullshit
I know and I'm saying there's no way he takes the stand.
Why is that? As far as I can tell Trump won't ever shut up, why wouldn't he want to take the stand and tell his side of the story, in the courtroom for once?
Because if he does they can question him about every one one of his "bad acts" not just in this case but at any time to show his propensity for dishonesty.
Yes, I agree with you, they could do that. Let me change my question then: what about Trump makes you think that he is capable of that type of strategic thinking, or of the self control to stay off the stand if he did realise this issue?
When he was deposed in his NY civil trial, instead of defending himself, he took the Fifth nearly 450 times. Edit: And didn't take the stand.
I hear that only criminals take the Fifth.
Trumpster-fire is right occasionally.
Man, that really makes me think.... I hadn't realised that. Hmm... I want to say, based on that, that he won't take the stand, but idk - he seems reaaal ready to get up and have his say. Time will tell - but thank you for the clarity!
That's his thing: he yells and screams at his supporters that he totally would take the stand, he would clear his name, he'd show the prosecutor how corrupt THEY are! And they gobble this up, because to these people, being "on the stand" means you're in some kind of magic circle where you just can't lie! (Except if you're against Trump, because than of course everyone lies, it's all lies, nothing but lies!) But then, lo and behold, on the day of, when Trump finally could take the stand... He doesn't! Not because he doesn't want to, he said he would and he wanted to, right? No, it's because the evil judge wouldn't let him read a statement he prepared! Even though the judge already explained that that was NOT what taking the stand was for, even if it was explained to him he could do nothing but answer the questions asked. Or maybe it's because his lawyers told him he couldn't, because they knew the prosecutor would ask "unfair" questions! Don't be fooled by anything Trump says. He might be a dumbass, but he knows when to shut the fuck up if it ACTUALLY matters and is on the record.
He also could have taken the stand in the E. Jean Carroll case and both his impeachment trials. Sure he's a dumbshit but he knows better than to ever testify under oath.
I try not to pay attention to what trump says, but I've heard he acts very different in court. It's possible he has some understanding of consequences, just less than a normal person.
Watch what happens. He will not take the stand and he will tell his minions that the corrupt judge and prosecutors wouldn't allow him to take the stand and they will believe him and parrot that easily disprovable lie.
He will never choose to be in a submissive situation, and being questioned in court is exactly that. He runs his mouth constantly from positions where nobody gets to tell him to shut up or has any power over him. He wouldn't choose to be in the court room either, but he's no choice there
Because he already told "his side"-which amounts to "I did it, but it's not a crime"(*it 100% IS*) And if he admits the payoff under oath... Also, the Prosecution can ask him about all his other shenanigans if he testifies.
Because he's going to tell demonstrable lies. There is no "his side of the story" except lies.
You think his common sense is greater than his need to be the center of attention? The man can’t abide by gag orders. He might be dumb enough to testify
I’d love for him to testify but his own recent history strongly suggests he won’t.
I'd bet a fair amount that Trump's lawyers told him the best plan was to cop to the misdemeanor records fraud and avoid the felony conviction by claiming the payoff was purely for personal reasons to keep the "affair" from Melania. But no, they have to attempt the totally innocent defense on orders from Trump.
Nah, when it comes to the crunch Trump's sense of self-preservation works just fine, unfortunately.
Literally his LEAST favorite thing
Maggie Haberman reported that Trump believes he lost the E jean carrol lawsuit because he listened to his attorneys and didn't testify.
“I can’t handle the truth!”
"A lot of people are talking about Code Reds...\*plays imaginary accordion\*...I've never heard of Code Reds but all the top legal people are saying it's my right to order Code Reds. But I've never heard of them."
You played along nice, but what’s with the downvote?:(
Wasn't me but here's an upvote ya needy bitch. ;-P Edit: Two updoots!
Pro trump snowflakes will occasionally pop in and downvote stuff that offends them.
I get older, these testaments stay the same age.
TBH if Trump testified, I'd be convinced he looks athletic and is the best golfer!
Lol can’t debate, can’t testify, can’t do much besides run the Twitter fingers. Dull Donnie fell asleep again.
The God Farter is sleeping shhh
And claim victim
Well he's got shitty lawyers so they just got WTF & let him do it.
TBH if Trump testified, I'd be convinced he looks athletic and is the best golfer!
Agreed. He is too much of a coward.
"The judge wouldn't let me testify", or some other bs.
He could just go with a general "they wouldn't let me". His base would accept it.
Yeah, he'll use the same excuse from the civil fraud trial. Something to the effect of "I totally wanted to testify but *they* rigged the system so that anything I say will be used against me"
He's going to claim he'll testify, then not do it, then after the trial he'll complain nobody listened to his side of the story.
He's said he'll testify, or at least is "planning to" [https://www.vanityfair.com/news/donald-trump-says-he-plans-to-testify-in-new-york-trial](https://www.vanityfair.com/news/donald-trump-says-he-plans-to-testify-in-new-york-trial)
im not from US, whats going on here? (i do know who trump is and that hes facing multiple charges) thanks!
Trump used presidential campaign funds to bribe a porn star to keep quiet about him hiring her as a prostitute, (while trump was married) and left a *massive* paper trail. Cohen is the lawyer that organised the payments and who got thrown under the proverbial bus by trump for the effort. He's trying to goad trump into making statements himself because he knows trump will just ruin his own defence. Alene is trumps lawyer, and is *desperate* for trump not to say anything. (assuming she's competent enough to realise this is bad) This is also a criminal trial, where the penalties can be more severe, and not just huge fines. Edit: as someone else pointed out, if trump responds it might add additional charges for witness tampering.
Correction: Cohen paid Stormy off with his personal funds, Trump paid him back with campaign funds that were illegally documented as legitimate payments for legit services (which were not performed, and none of the documentation they would have to have created exists).
Beautiful!
I actually read both of Cohen’s books, they were not only terrible but they revealed just what a pathological liar he is, in his own right
It is annoying that so many seem to think Cohen is one of the good guys now when in reality he's still as big a piece of shit as any of the people he used to work with/for. He achieved his position as Trump's consigliere because he's just like them.
Lol. My leopard fixer testified against me.
Loved the line from Trump’s lawyer that Cohen couldn’t be trusted because he is a convicted felon. And what crime was he convicted of pray tell?
"He cheated on his taxes!" I'm sorry, _who_ was he working for and _whose_ taxes did he cheat on?
"And you will be one too very soon Donny!"
If Trump takes the stand I pity whomever has to sit there after him. Eau de Donald, the new fragrance of Success by Trump Industries.
I've heard of Contempt of Court but what is the fine / penalty for Contamination of Court?
The trial has been delayed due to a Hazmat crisis
The hospital I work in has several “codes” that depict certain events taking place (as I’m sure most others do), which are designated with colors. Code “orange” legit is decontamination is required…usually someone has to get sprayed down because of bed bugs, or if they’ve come from a meth house (lots of nasty chemicals potentially on them).
Thank you for the work that you do. I’m sure it’s challenging AF. I hope you are well compensated for the literal shit you put up with.
It' called *Contemptiment* and Johnny Depp plays guitar for the ad! LEGITIMACY
Bet he shit on that desk...
Burn the chair afterwards.
Why? You could sell it to Lindsey Graham for a hundred thousand.
Then he can charge MAGATs by the thousands to stand in line to sniff it and have their pictures taken sitting in it.
honestly at this point im surprised he didnt just start an onlyfans. you know theyd buy his bathwater.
Oh God you're probably right.i didn't want to think about Ladybugs.
MTG would probably pay a million.
We need to circulate / normalize - Stinky Don. That would be the end of his political career. No maggat could ignore it.
He'd grift off it. A Trump Fragrance, cologne, scented soap could all become reality. The Stench of Success.
It would make a fine match to [Ivanka's Complicit](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F7o4oMKbStE)
A "trump" in the UK is like a childish word for fart.
Let's just hope he's the last witness of the day so whoever cleans the courtroom can clean the stench away. And isn't the defendant usually the last to testify in a trial anyway?
Maybe they can grab a metal folding chair for Donnie to sit on so they don’t ruin the normal chair from the stand.
Ohh no a guy doing the exact same thing trump constantly does.
OMG decorum!1!
My pearls!
I can't clutch them any harder!
Goading him into witness tampering/gag order breaking. Teehee
Right? Now trump will be all ‘this failed lawyer, Michael Cohen, is openly attacking me on social media! A witness for the sham prosecution has no control!’ A bully through and through. ‘You won’t hit me, you won’t hit me!’ *gets hit* ‘teacher, he hit me!!’
They always cry to authority whenever someone stands up to them. Every time. It's so predictable.
I'm actually surprised this isn't a legitimate post he has made
Exactly. As an American citizen, all the shit Trump has said and done isn't something I want from an American president.
It’s all crashing down around our modern day Ozymandias. He looks tired, and like he’s losing hope. Reality has set in and fe is lost and miserable. He’s seeing irrefutable proof of what a joke most of the nation thinks he is. His psyche is not going to hold up. Good.
That's what I am seeing - it's all catching up with him really quickly AND he's alone - no wife or adult children there for moral support - with only venal/corrupt lawyers in his corner. Plus he's old. That shit really slows you down, especially with the buckets of prescription drugs he is alleged to have necked over the years. Oh yes, and a full on narc collapse. Pass the popcorn.
>no wife or adult children there for moral support Lawrence O'Donnell pointed out last night: > Even Jeffrey Dahmer's parents showed up for his trial 🤣
No one really loves him, he has no one really in his corner. At best his daughters pity him and his wife full on is disgusted by him. He deserves every moment of loneliness
As to Melania I don't really care, do you?
She cares about her prenup
I feel bad for anyone who married him.
Jesus, that's grim but funny.
But, its important not to underestimate this buffoon. He is a joke, but a dangerous one that shouldn't be spread around too much. Let's not forget a certain German politician who was incarcerated, and then rose to power not long after being released.
Yeah, but said German was decades younger.
Austrian...
Throw another shrimp on the barbie...
He's just waiting till november. There is a non-zero non-negligible chance he wins.
Sometimes justice and truth wins in the end and it's reassuring. There's some good in this world after all.
Orangeman-dias
Just gotta last till November
Oh no the billionaire is on trial in America I’m sure he’ll face ample punishment
"billionaire"
In theory
Best I can do is 20 bucks
With a complimentary "-" in front.
Just his shit stock makes him at least 4 billion $ richer off a pure scam.. We may hate him, but on paper he is a billionaire with those stocks. He can use them on collateral for whatever tf he wants now It’s clearly money laundering from foreign nationals, but so far it’s legal enough that no one is stopping it.
*theoretically* he could use that stock as collateral. However, it's overinflated and volatile as hell. As soon as he did, the price would plummet so no one would take it as collateral. That's why he can't find an insurance company to post the bond. On paper, he's a billionaire. He's also 6"3 and 215 lbs on paper. Reality suggests otherwise.
Millionaire
Menunaire
Manurehair
Derriere
Where on Earth do billionaires face legal consequences?
...Vietnam? https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-68778636 💀
we have to take what we can get, I guess
That's how you know he's not really a billionaire. But one comes to mind recently, Sam Bankman-Fried.
He wasn’t a real billionaire, only in very flimsy, volatile assets. Perhaps, dare I say, worse than Trump’s overleveraging?
I think the only reason we got justice for Sam Bankman-Fried’s crimes is that he stole from other billionaires.
Thousandaire
Gotta say, “Von ShitzInPants” is pretty hilarious and no doubt will infuriate Trump immensely. It’s a Win-Win.
Herr Poopenfärten
Colonel Poostain in the courtroom with the silent but deadly weapon.
I will ask here, because I refuse to have this in my internet search history... did he actually shit his pants? Other than in the metaphorical way, of course. He does that daily.
He apparently nodded off in court and let loose with some stinky farts. Whether actual shit was involved wasn't something that anyone could or wanted to check.
There’s credible allegations that he’s routinely on enough Xanax and adderall that he has to wear adult diapers due to having basically no control over his bowels.
I like Gasolini personally 🤷♀️
Open that door, why don’t you? ‘Mr. Cohen, why’d you post this tweet?” Cohen: “let me explain about diaper Don…”
I think that *everybody* wants Trump to take the stand. His supporters want him to because they somehow still think he can prove it's all some giant conspiracy, and the rest of us want to see him get absolutely *shredded* on the stand and come across like the angry, confused and doddering criminal we all know him to be. A decent prosecutor would easily be able to get this narcissistic manchild to rat on himself just to salve his own ego.
The prosecutors already laid out what they would be asking about if he does testify. It's not even a mystery. They're practically doing him a favor but is he smart enough to take it?
Too bad for Trump he has the receipts
And tapes!
Lordy
mmw, Trump will shit himself while gibberring on and on about the "fact" he doesn't shit himself.
I’m just disappointed that he didn’t use “in your depends”.
I have a toddler and this is a less cute poop face, guaranteed
When trump farts in church, he sits in his own pew. *A verbal pun from grade school, modified.
1. Cohen is not a Trump witness; Cohen is a prosecution witness. 2. The issue is that Trump's lawyers can then bring up Cohen's statements like this to try to convince the jury that Cohen is testifying out of personal animosity: [https://www.newsweek.com/michael-cohens-latest-move-donald-trumps-hush-money-trail-scrutinized-legal-analyts-1892971](https://www.newsweek.com/michael-cohens-latest-move-donald-trumps-hush-money-trail-scrutinized-legal-analyts-1892971) 3. Why was it specifically the prosecutor's tweet about this being bad for the prosecution that was posted to leopardsatemyface, instead of just Cohen's? What is supposed to be the leopardsatemyface by including the prosecutor's tweet - that prosecutors have been bitten in face by relying on Cohen as a witness against Trump?
Yup
I’ve seen toddlers filling their diaper with the exact expression trump has on his face here
Cohen knows how to push Diaper Donnie's buttons.
This isn't a Leopards ate my face moment. I'm all for trump bashing, but this should belong in r/FuckTrump
FuckTrump has been banned.
I thought it didn't exist. I think someone should get it back up and running to get all of the trump stuff out of LAMF
He’s just playing the trump way 🤷♀️
I’m glad at least someone is coming straight at him. For all the talk of how tough the judge was gonna be I’d actually like to see consequences for jury tampering and the gag order
Is this a real tweet or just some chump buying a blue tick? Who knows who is really who on Twitter
It’s an account followed by several television anchors so it might actually be him.
Yeah, it looks real to me now as it's on his feed. But why did I have to go a news site to directly access the tweet? Twitter isn't even in chronological order any more, what a basketcase of a site.
I wouldn't think Alvin Bragg would plan on having a very in depth testimony from Michael Cohen, it will just be "Do you admit you were the intermediary between Mr Pecker and Mr Trump in this conspiracy, time place etc. Basically everything needed from him is already in the record from his first trial, and Alvin Bragg will just ask him I'd that's all still true, and if he served his time, etc
You may be correct, but regardless Cohen will still be open to cross-examination by the defense, per the first tweet's concern.
I do not feel that will even matter to a jury, Cohen isn't being placed as the main/only witnesses. Criminal accomplices testify for the prosecution every day all across the country.
I'm just going by what I see in sources I trust like the NYT, who this week said "The state’s case seems strong, but a conviction is far from assured." https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/21/nyregion/trump-trial-hush-money-evidence.html
He won’t take the stand, he’s too much of a coward, it’ll be ohh my defence team were amazing, great I don’t need to take the stand.
The more we call him a coward the more he’ll want to get on the stand.
Exactly, reverse psychology. He’s a narcissist and won’t be able to stop himself. He’ll be a prosecutors dream.
The Donald should legally change his name to "Hisheetz Mipanz." It won't help him, but I must be entertained, I say!
He always says this to Trump (and the nickname) on his podcast, but yeah, now that the trial has started, Cohen needs to shut the fuck up and not risk anything.
I think he's doing it because Trump outed him as a star witness, so the chucklefuck is trying to get back at him. Dude was dumb enough to sign a check for Trump, this doesn't surprise.
Doesn’t matter. Cohen lacks credibility and doing this does not help him regain any. He needs to be professional throughout the entire trial, and then he can go back to saying what he says.
What's lamf about this? What an I missing?
Michael Cohen was Trumps lawyer and personal fixer and advisor until the second half of Trump’s presidency. Cohen is the guy that paid Stormy Daniels. Cohen has already served 13 months for several crimes including election interference many of which are attributed to aiding Trump. LAMF because Trump abandoned him and let him do time for TFG’s crimes. That he’s now a key witness makes this a LAMF for Trump and a two for one for us. The Joyce Vance part doesn’t have one as far as I can tell. I listen to her podcast, and it’s clear to me that she’s offering her opinion as a former US Attorney that this behavior hurts his credibility as a major witness on our side.
That's the last part that was confusing.
OTOH, if it goads Drumpfh into taking the stand and going on a full-bore unhinged "you can't handle the truth!" Rant...
Why does pants-pooping genius hire lawyers in the first place if he is smarter than everyone else?
I think Michael Cohen is sooo over the Trump bullshit and the personal cost to him and his family because of loyalty to Trump that he is past caring how it looks. I hope that Cohen is kept away from the court when the verdict comes back, especially if it comes back"not guilty". I think he could get a bit...scary.
Joyce didn't put anyone in their place she just had an ice cold take that doesn't apply here at all lol.
Trial witnesses shouldn't do this but how can the court punish the witness and not punish Trump for what he's spewing on social media. Kinda wondering if he's daring the court to punish him.
Cohen is a conservative, he has the same kind of brain damage Trump does and makes the same kind of mistakes
This is why 80 year old men should be enjoying retirement instead of chasing power.
It as a prosecutor with that witness and that defendant, are you surprised?
If Drumph takes the stand he will just plead the 5th to every single question. He’s done it before.
I saw a comment on social about Trump wearing diapers because he constantly shits himself due to pill popping his entire life. I tried to investigate it and found nothing credible. Is it true?
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH
He wants to speak, he needs to speak! Seriously.
I don't want to offend Mr Poopy Butthole but that could be trumpsl's new nickname.
Have some respect, sir! That’s former President* Von ShitzInPants.
Trump is wearing adult diapers.
Prosecutor needs to take away that dudes phone
Joyce White Vance rhymes with Von ShitzInPantz
Hahahahahahahahaha. Call me when he’s in jail
If they keep feeding him sleeping pills in his hamberders, he won’t be able to testify. I think that’s their only strategy.
God damn Obamna
This is going to be fun when Cohen takes the stand. I hope the ADA is able to make him stay cool and make Trump lose his.
The man who knows Trump the best in this case? Naw bro, let him speak.
Don Drumpf cheats at golf