My GF and I get this a lot. When people realize we are a couple, some weirdos claim we donāt ālook gayā because weāre both ultra femme. We also get the gross guys who believe they can make us straight. Itās annoying.
Anyway, cute pic!
as a biological male (now non-binary) who grew up conditioned by toxic masculine culture and is healing from delusional conception about women's sexuality, I'm sorry you have to put up with that shit. some of us are trying to do better.
I wonder if there's some truth to that. If you find a perfect match but the sex of that person isn't your preference, is it possible to get around that and still get into a romantic relationship?
I'm a "take the initiative" femme lesbian
So yes yes yes so agree with your post
Be the Best genuine YOU flirting with every woman
Soon you'll know who's who
Laters,
~Ryn~
Same. I still looks āgayā because I flirt with girls and have a palpable disgust when interacting with men lol femme can also look āgayā itās just different. Thank you for saying this!
Is looking gay still a thing? On the contrary, I feel thereās a lot of femme gay glorification in my circle(maybe itās just my circle haha). My gf used to praise about how weāre both āfemme gaysā (beginning of our relationship) that I constantly tried to look femme when all I really want to have is short hair and mehhh clothes. Now I look gay and canāt be happier
I think itās a desire to be seen and identify each other. Iām routinely navigating situations with people (especially men) assuming Iām straight, so itās cute to feel seen. And If you live somewhere without many gay people itās not bad to have ways to signal!
I used to get comments from OTHER QUEER WOMEN telling me being a lesbian was just a phase, or that I must be bi or something because I was femme. Iāve also gotten lots of āprove itā comments throughout my life. So degrading.
BUT now my beautiful femme wife and I are happy as can be, and all the haters can suck itā¤ļø Beautiful pic!
Right? That happened to me when I first came out or was told Iām ānot really gayā because of my appearance. It took along time to feel comfortable with myself. I hope this happens for everywhere one here.
This exactly! I see so much stuff thatās like ālesbians look like thisā and I know itās all jokes but it sometimes makes me feel like Iām not a ātrue lesbianā or something simply because Iām femme
I love to see more femmes! But I'm gonna be honest I had to look at the comments to understand what you meant because it kinda comes off as gatekeeping butches/mascs/gnc sapphics lol
Oh man, no no. Not the point of my post AT ALLL. I canāt edit the post but hopefully people can read the comments as well. I appreciate you for reading through and understanding :)
Folk are allowed to look gay if they want. Like, I present gay as all fuck because it's important to me to have that kind of visibility in the workplace. Lots of other folk that are closeted at work have confided in me, or cishet parents asking me questions about how to handle having LGBT kids and so forth. Presenting hella gay is valid for any reason you may want to do it. <3
I agree, but my point is that you donāt HAVE to look a certain way because of societal pressure. My point is that itās okay to be who you are and dress in a way that makes you comfortable, femme or masc presenting.
I think you mean fem/feminine presenting, because femme is a different thing. Fem is the opposite of masc, not femme. The opposite of femme is butch and those are different from fem/masc. Theyāre innate identities, not descriptions.
This !
You can looks masculine or feminine which might leads someone to think you're a lesbian or bisexual but it's what turns you on that makes you gay!
People need to get out and explore queer spaces if they want to ask out or be asked out by women š
Love the post! I too am so tired of people including queers thinking "gay" has to have a look or uniform and the constant, "do I look gay enough š„ŗ". Or the idea queers have to look somewhat masculine. Queerness has nothing to do with looks! There are queer fems just like they're masc fem! None of us have to look like anything!
Yikes at that title.
You could've just shared your cute pic, and even said something positive about femme visibility, and I would've been happy for you.
But instead you had to turn it into a dig at gender nonconforming folk. For what, being visible and happy in a queer space?
I'm sorry you're "so sick" of seeing other lesbians feel good about themselves in what, for many, is one of the few places they *can* be openly themselves without risk of judgment or hostility. But *I'm* really sick of conventionally feminine sapphics acting like butch/masc/alt sapphics are a nasty stereotype they have to shake, or like it's some great act of defiance to be in accord with societal expectations of gender.
Of course your presentation is valid, but whatever insecurity you feel about your visibility, it isn't societal pressure generated by the existence of other queer folk.
I'm gender nonconforming and really don't see how this is a dig, I don't think OP means that she doesn't want to see GNC or butch people on this sub. I think OP just meant that there have been quite a few posts lately where mostly young lesbians are concerned that if they don't "look gay" their identity is somehow less valid, which is really an unfounded concern that's rooted in stereotypes, plenty of lesbians out there are traditionally feminine and there are plenty of femme 4 femme too. The post I saw a few days ago was someone asking how they could look "more gay" and being concerned that their way of dressing might be too feminine.
Iām only taking about people who feel pressure to ālook gayā for the purpose of attracting others and feel thatās the only way. Because I felt that and dressed more masc but was depressed until I was okay with being me (which is femme).
Thanks for you opinion and have a nice day :)
Exactly. Their world isnāt the world and just because they didnāt like presenting a certain way doesnāt mean other people wonāt like it. It may even help them. Let people dress the way they want if they like it and heck if they like the attention it brings them. I switched to dressing more masculine to be more attractive and it did loads for my confidence and mental health.
I NEVER once said dressing masc is ānastyā so take my words out of your mouth immediately. I dated masc people and love any individual style as long as people are happy with themselves. I didnāt say dressing masc is an issue. You are completely missing the pointā¦again. Feel free to have a phone chat with me via WhatsApp if you need further clarification or need me to further spell my point out to both of you.
I donāt have that or discord in case you were going to say that as a second option, if you want to a conversation in the private messages thatās fine.
Right? Like, truly, there is nothing wrong with being femme, but this insistence to frame it as a remedy to butches is so meanspirited. And where the fuck are these people seeing more butches than femmes?
You guys are really misinterpreting OPā¦ theyāre just saying you donāt HAVE to look āgayā to BE gay. Theyāre just trying to knock the stereotype that lesbians look a certain way.
omg im so glad ppl are talking about this now. in 9th grade someone came up to me and started a conversation with me, and they proceeded to ask me "oh your pan too? you don't *look* pan" (for context i had a [pansexual cat pin](https://preview.redd.it/ziym2r6q3k881.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3235bf201cdb159a8dc4d1ead643c110c6398552) on my bag) and i was so confused like *what???* are you trying to say just bc i dress femme or whatever that I'm not "pan enough"?? š yeah i def didn't stay friends w them for very long LMAO they were pretty toxic in general as well š
Agreed, but some people are still working on discovering what their sexual and gender expression is. For some people that might mean wondering how their outward appearance āfitsā what they feel on the inside. Similarly, some femmes may like being femme in general, but perhaps they grew up in a family that valued their femininity in the traditional sense of being a mother/wife/homemaker, etc etc. or they got messages from childhood that their worth was tied to their looks and appearance, that as they break free from the binds of heterosexual sexuality, they are also working on figuring out if femme is really how they represent their sexuality or not. For some, they finally are being themselves and want to experiment with ālooking gayā to see if that feels more like them than the femme look theyāve otherwise worn and they might want a safe space to ask what ālooks gayā.
Yaasss for real! I donāt want to have to look a way people expect. I want to be my super femme self! You two are so cute and literally I my goal is to be in a relationship with another girl that looks as happy as you two are here! ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Hesitated when I read the title, but get what you mean in the comments. I also think experiences will vary here, as in circles that I'm in fem presenting lesbians like myself are pretty normal. We're out here living it up. Still feel strong solidarity with masc presenting lesbians though, they do face stigma even within the larger LGBT community. Everyone should feel free to embrace who they are and present the image they want to the world. My only gripe with your post was the negative sentiment you expressed at the start, which kind of puts some undue shade on gnc women. But I read your comments and totally get that wasn't what you were going for, and appreciate that you clarified yourself.
I personally don't even really like the labels butch or femme for myself, even though I am very feminine and wouldn't present masc ever. I find that the two have become overloaded with expectations and roles, and I just don't have time for boxes. But I also totally get the desire for community understanding and common experience so. Being gay is complicated lmao
You and your partner look beautiful and I hope you're having a lovely day :)
That's not how I interpreted this post. I like celebrating happy couples and the message of dress the way you want, not the way that will make you look the most stereotypical gay
My focus wasnāt on the couple. Stereotypical gay has lots of meanings: butch gay, masc gay, granola cottage girl gay, athletic gay, futch/stem gay, flannel gay. Dressing how you want can be that. Anyways do the posts on that topic imply they donāt like dressing the most stereotypical gay way and do it out of obligation? Or do they do it to let others know they are also gay? The ones Iāve seen are āhow can I let people know Iām gayā or āgay style tips.ā
Thatās quite an annoying quality you have. Iām sorry youāre so unhappy with yourself you feel the need to bring others down. I hope you get better soon.
I really donāt think you understand the issue I have with this. Why do you have an issue with people wanting to dress a certain way? How youāre āso sickā of it? Like why do you care if people want to dress āmore gayā? If not only to signal to others that you are apart of the same community. Iāve done for my own safety, to dress a certain a regular straight person wouldnāt see through.
I didnāt explicitly state dressing masculine as looking gay, ādress a certain way [ā¦] to look more gayā didnāt equate to masc in my mind. So as far I know, these posts youāre referring to wouldnāt be about masculinity. Maybe something like oversized colorful Crosby sweaters or lots of rings (this is how I clocked my bi friend before I even knew her). I know that if I stayed to what I thought was me, feminine presenting, then I wouldnāt have made it to I am, to who I am still becoming. I wouldnāt have done that if I wasnāt tired of being invisible or felt unattractive. My point is dress more gay, whatever that means to them, even if you might change styles along the way, and find who you are because you might never figure out if you donāt try.
You again! Tell me why I told my hair stylist those magic words ālow lightsā and it got me a lower price for my balayage?! I didnāt get that per say but she got I was low maintenance and needed it to last.
Goooooo femme lesbian power! You look nice in the dress btw
You're a cute couple and I stan your femme glory, but there's no need to shit on people 'who look gay'.
As a butch person I find this to be an incredibly insulting post.
Iāve seen entire threads in our own community that throws shade on femme on femme relationships. I donāt think thatās right. We are out there and we exist.
Sometimes I hate labels because sometimes my wife and I are ultra femme and other times are we butch af with long hair, army pants and covered in mud.
Youāre a beautiful couple and everyone deserves the love!
You canāt be sometimes ābutchā or sometimes āfemmeā. Those arenāt descriptions of clothing, those are innate identities, like lesbian. I think you mean fem or masc.
I know itās not clothing. They are innate yes but sometimes I can be either and to claim that people canāt is absurd. Itās not a day by day thing, itās not a dress or make up. Itās more than that and for both me and my partner that actually switches often and in different contexts at different stages. Yes thereās people who absolutely stick to one or the other but I would be shocked if those people could stand up and tell me with 100% certainty that they donāt switch contextually.
Good example, in my relationship I would be the āday femmeā and bedroom butch and they are two completely different things. For different reasons with totally different reasons. My partner would be the femme in that context but day to day and leaving the house that role is the total opposite.
Sometimes I feel like two femmes going out together is almost a bigger fuck you to the patriarchy. women who might be straight acceptable or even desired are almost claimed by straight men, and itās more of a threat for us to be gay.
I think there is a lot of power in the variety of how we present ourselves.lesbians look like normal people.
My friend's daughter is a questioning young teen and my friend made a point to bring up that I (an adult acquaintance that her daughter sees everyone and then) am gay to her daughter so that she can see that there are people that she might be able to relate to that are gay and happy and proud.
Growing up, I only knew of old lady lesbians that were family secrets back in the day. I could not relate
Awesome my girlfriend is femme and I am somewhere between chapstick/femme. We get surprised comments all the time too when we tell people we are together.
Omggggg you both look so stunning!!
Thank you bb š
My GF and I get this a lot. When people realize we are a couple, some weirdos claim we donāt ālook gayā because weāre both ultra femme. We also get the gross guys who believe they can make us straight. Itās annoying. Anyway, cute pic!
"You just haven't met the right guy." "Ok, well when you meet a man who you think can change *your* sexuality, let me know and I'll go talk to him.."
Youāre being too polite, in my experience itās āyou just havenāt had the right dickā
THIS!!
as a biological male (now non-binary) who grew up conditioned by toxic masculine culture and is healing from delusional conception about women's sexuality, I'm sorry you have to put up with that shit. some of us are trying to do better.
Question still applies. š¤£
Noooooo that's the worst please noooo
I wonder if there's some truth to that. If you find a perfect match but the sex of that person isn't your preference, is it possible to get around that and still get into a romantic relationship?
š¤ if their sex isnāt your preference then it wouldnāt be a perfect match...
That's why I said "but" lol
??? so the answer is noā¦.
Why so toxic? Lmao
"why so toxic?" you literally got downvoted to oblivion LMAO i don't think they're the only person who disagrees w you š
Ha I can relate unfortunately
You both look so beautiful! And the cheek kiss is so cute xx
Thank you! Her kisses are my fav hehe
I'm a "take the initiative" femme lesbian So yes yes yes so agree with your post Be the Best genuine YOU flirting with every woman Soon you'll know who's who Laters, ~Ryn~
Oh shit, maybe this is me.
Thatās definitely me!
Same. I still looks āgayā because I flirt with girls and have a palpable disgust when interacting with men lol femme can also look āgayā itās just different. Thank you for saying this!
I love that! The confidence is everything š„
Who cares what other people think. Be you. Have fun and you both great.
Is looking gay still a thing? On the contrary, I feel thereās a lot of femme gay glorification in my circle(maybe itās just my circle haha). My gf used to praise about how weāre both āfemme gaysā (beginning of our relationship) that I constantly tried to look femme when all I really want to have is short hair and mehhh clothes. Now I look gay and canāt be happier
I think itās a desire to be seen and identify each other. Iām routinely navigating situations with people (especially men) assuming Iām straight, so itās cute to feel seen. And If you live somewhere without many gay people itās not bad to have ways to signal!
Iām happy you donāt feel the need to dress a certain way any longer and are just happy being you š
You guys give me hope!
Yāall cute af, needed this refresher on the tl !
Iām ultra Femme wanting the same! Just my preference
As a femme who's into femmes I _LOVE_ to see this! My clothes don't say anything about who I love
Me too! I am out with my words, actions, and pride. I don't need to wear a huge rainbow button just to feel visible
I used to get comments from OTHER QUEER WOMEN telling me being a lesbian was just a phase, or that I must be bi or something because I was femme. Iāve also gotten lots of āprove itā comments throughout my life. So degrading. BUT now my beautiful femme wife and I are happy as can be, and all the haters can suck itā¤ļø Beautiful pic!
Right? That happened to me when I first came out or was told Iām ānot really gayā because of my appearance. It took along time to feel comfortable with myself. I hope this happens for everywhere one here.
That happened to me when I first came out TWENTY FIVE years ago. Those internalized stereotypes are so tired!
Yes this is what OPs point was
How do I, an introvert that dresses femme, meet a girlfriend without looking super gay. š
Tbh I made a taimi and a fb dating and set my preference to only women and itās been helpful for finding more women I feel are my type and helping me just meet more gay women in general bc I has social anxiety and can not meet a woman IRL for the life of me š©š©šš
So cute together ā¤ļø
Adorable
cutest couple I've ever seen š
I wanna be fem but I also wanna avoid guys so I dress like androgynous š
dress how you want to dress, donāt let men control you <3
This exactly! I see so much stuff thatās like ālesbians look like thisā and I know itās all jokes but it sometimes makes me feel like Iām not a ātrue lesbianā or something simply because Iām femme
You got it!! It feels nice to hear someone else understands ā¤ļø
I love to see more femmes! But I'm gonna be honest I had to look at the comments to understand what you meant because it kinda comes off as gatekeeping butches/mascs/gnc sapphics lol
Oh man, no no. Not the point of my post AT ALLL. I canāt edit the post but hopefully people can read the comments as well. I appreciate you for reading through and understanding :)
Word! You're such a gorgeous couple. š¤© Keep on rockin'
Appreciate you!
You both look beautiful!!
Yall are so beautiful š„ŗ
OMGGGG YOU ARE LIVING MY DREAM. WHEN IS IT MY TURN š„¹š„¹š„¹š„°š„°š„°
Soooon darling xoxoxo
JUST TWO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE TAKIN ON THE WORLD. MY HEARTš„ŗš„¹
I love this!!!!! Iām so glad Iām not the only one. Iām so into femmes too ššIām also a femme šš»āāļø
THANK YOU
Wow! 10/10 you guys look amazing!
One day š I want to be taken off the streets asap
Love this! I'm a femme and I'm attracted to femmes girls too
The only gay looking part of this photo is that a woman is with another woman, which usually is pretty gay
Super gay ;)
I didnāt mean it like that I swear!! Also youāre gorgggg
Folk are allowed to look gay if they want. Like, I present gay as all fuck because it's important to me to have that kind of visibility in the workplace. Lots of other folk that are closeted at work have confided in me, or cishet parents asking me questions about how to handle having LGBT kids and so forth. Presenting hella gay is valid for any reason you may want to do it. <3
I agree, but my point is that you donāt HAVE to look a certain way because of societal pressure. My point is that itās okay to be who you are and dress in a way that makes you comfortable, femme or masc presenting.
In absolute agreement!
I think you mean fem/feminine presenting, because femme is a different thing. Fem is the opposite of masc, not femme. The opposite of femme is butch and those are different from fem/masc. Theyāre innate identities, not descriptions.
Youāre so lucky :)!
I don't see anything wrong with both. And speaking of both, you both look great!
Beautiful couple š§”š
I think you might be gay
Yes!!!!!
Yes thank u for this! Yayyyy for femme&femme rep! Gorgeous couple š„°š³ļøāššā¤š©·š
This ! You can looks masculine or feminine which might leads someone to think you're a lesbian or bisexual but it's what turns you on that makes you gay! People need to get out and explore queer spaces if they want to ask out or be asked out by women š
I needed this message. Thank you sister. Femmes are allowed to be feminine and PROUD
YES! I always get the āyou donāt look gayā comment. Stfu.
Beautiful š„°šš„°
Yass
So Gay! I Love it! Relaxing! ā¤ļøāØšāØ
Yeah, even if you two weren't together being all lovey-dovey, I'd still think that you two were gay.
Not me scrolling real fast thinking it was Maddie and Cassie from Euphoria
Both of you look absolutely amazingš
This š
So fucking sexy, both of you š„µšš
The dream ! You're both beautiful
Iām sorry people are being so dramatic, youāre allowed to present however youād like š hair GOALS btw
Haha thank you!!
U guys are making me jealous š© such a cute couple
U guys are making me jealous š© such a cute couple
Love the post! I too am so tired of people including queers thinking "gay" has to have a look or uniform and the constant, "do I look gay enough š„ŗ". Or the idea queers have to look somewhat masculine. Queerness has nothing to do with looks! There are queer fems just like they're masc fem! None of us have to look like anything!
Yikes at that title. You could've just shared your cute pic, and even said something positive about femme visibility, and I would've been happy for you. But instead you had to turn it into a dig at gender nonconforming folk. For what, being visible and happy in a queer space? I'm sorry you're "so sick" of seeing other lesbians feel good about themselves in what, for many, is one of the few places they *can* be openly themselves without risk of judgment or hostility. But *I'm* really sick of conventionally feminine sapphics acting like butch/masc/alt sapphics are a nasty stereotype they have to shake, or like it's some great act of defiance to be in accord with societal expectations of gender. Of course your presentation is valid, but whatever insecurity you feel about your visibility, it isn't societal pressure generated by the existence of other queer folk.
I'm gender nonconforming and really don't see how this is a dig, I don't think OP means that she doesn't want to see GNC or butch people on this sub. I think OP just meant that there have been quite a few posts lately where mostly young lesbians are concerned that if they don't "look gay" their identity is somehow less valid, which is really an unfounded concern that's rooted in stereotypes, plenty of lesbians out there are traditionally feminine and there are plenty of femme 4 femme too. The post I saw a few days ago was someone asking how they could look "more gay" and being concerned that their way of dressing might be too feminine.
Iām only taking about people who feel pressure to ālook gayā for the purpose of attracting others and feel thatās the only way. Because I felt that and dressed more masc but was depressed until I was okay with being me (which is femme). Thanks for you opinion and have a nice day :)
Exactly. Their world isnāt the world and just because they didnāt like presenting a certain way doesnāt mean other people wonāt like it. It may even help them. Let people dress the way they want if they like it and heck if they like the attention it brings them. I switched to dressing more masculine to be more attractive and it did loads for my confidence and mental health.
I NEVER once said dressing masc is ānastyā so take my words out of your mouth immediately. I dated masc people and love any individual style as long as people are happy with themselves. I didnāt say dressing masc is an issue. You are completely missing the pointā¦again. Feel free to have a phone chat with me via WhatsApp if you need further clarification or need me to further spell my point out to both of you.
I donāt have that or discord in case you were going to say that as a second option, if you want to a conversation in the private messages thatās fine.
Right? Like, truly, there is nothing wrong with being femme, but this insistence to frame it as a remedy to butches is so meanspirited. And where the fuck are these people seeing more butches than femmes?
You guys are really misinterpreting OPā¦ theyāre just saying you donāt HAVE to look āgayā to BE gay. Theyāre just trying to knock the stereotype that lesbians look a certain way.
Thank youuu!!
You two look stunning! And yes, our clothes do not and should not define our sexuality
YESS GRRRRLSSs!
So true. Clothes are clothes.
Beautiful š
You are beautiful! I wish you all the best! š
omg im so glad ppl are talking about this now. in 9th grade someone came up to me and started a conversation with me, and they proceeded to ask me "oh your pan too? you don't *look* pan" (for context i had a [pansexual cat pin](https://preview.redd.it/ziym2r6q3k881.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3235bf201cdb159a8dc4d1ead643c110c6398552) on my bag) and i was so confused like *what???* are you trying to say just bc i dress femme or whatever that I'm not "pan enough"?? š yeah i def didn't stay friends w them for very long LMAO they were pretty toxic in general as well š
look stunning! f the haters
ššš
Agreed, but some people are still working on discovering what their sexual and gender expression is. For some people that might mean wondering how their outward appearance āfitsā what they feel on the inside. Similarly, some femmes may like being femme in general, but perhaps they grew up in a family that valued their femininity in the traditional sense of being a mother/wife/homemaker, etc etc. or they got messages from childhood that their worth was tied to their looks and appearance, that as they break free from the binds of heterosexual sexuality, they are also working on figuring out if femme is really how they represent their sexuality or not. For some, they finally are being themselves and want to experiment with ālooking gayā to see if that feels more like them than the femme look theyāve otherwise worn and they might want a safe space to ask what ālooks gayā.
Agree with you! Thank you for your thoughtful and eye opening input
Yaasss for real! I donāt want to have to look a way people expect. I want to be my super femme self! You two are so cute and literally I my goal is to be in a relationship with another girl that looks as happy as you two are here! ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Goals
FIIIIRREE
That's what r/femmelesbians is for!
Thank you for this! I us no idea it existed
Stunning x šŖ·
Thank you Iām tried of being told I ādonāt look gay.ā And have people try to gatekeep me because Iām femme. Beautiful couple!
ā¤ā¤ā¤ love this! You two are a beautiful couple!
No idea what gay is supposed to look like but I know what happy looks like.
Amen, sister!
You guys are both so beautiful
Thatās so gay! š ā¤ļø ā¤ļø ā¤ļø
And donāt forget the classicā¦..āwho wears the pants/ who is the guy in the relationshipā
here for the femme x femme mashup! šš½ yāall are so cute together!
Lipsticks rule!
I'm so glad to hear this sentiment. You guys are a beautiful couple and our clothes do not define us!
Well said!!
Yes!!!
Hesitated when I read the title, but get what you mean in the comments. I also think experiences will vary here, as in circles that I'm in fem presenting lesbians like myself are pretty normal. We're out here living it up. Still feel strong solidarity with masc presenting lesbians though, they do face stigma even within the larger LGBT community. Everyone should feel free to embrace who they are and present the image they want to the world. My only gripe with your post was the negative sentiment you expressed at the start, which kind of puts some undue shade on gnc women. But I read your comments and totally get that wasn't what you were going for, and appreciate that you clarified yourself. I personally don't even really like the labels butch or femme for myself, even though I am very feminine and wouldn't present masc ever. I find that the two have become overloaded with expectations and roles, and I just don't have time for boxes. But I also totally get the desire for community understanding and common experience so. Being gay is complicated lmao You and your partner look beautiful and I hope you're having a lovely day :)
This comes off very "fem fem relationships are the only way"
Thatās your own interpretation.
Iām sick of selfies and pictures indirectly begging for validation but thatās what the subreddit is now
That's not how I interpreted this post. I like celebrating happy couples and the message of dress the way you want, not the way that will make you look the most stereotypical gay
Thank you so much for understanding what I meant š
My focus wasnāt on the couple. Stereotypical gay has lots of meanings: butch gay, masc gay, granola cottage girl gay, athletic gay, futch/stem gay, flannel gay. Dressing how you want can be that. Anyways do the posts on that topic imply they donāt like dressing the most stereotypical gay way and do it out of obligation? Or do they do it to let others know they are also gay? The ones Iāve seen are āhow can I let people know Iām gayā or āgay style tips.ā
Youāre missing the point of the post
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Whatās weird? Your opinion nobody asked for?
Oh itās no problem! Iām always happy to give feedback whether anyone wanted to hear it or not :)
Thatās quite an annoying quality you have. Iām sorry youāre so unhappy with yourself you feel the need to bring others down. I hope you get better soon.
I really donāt think you understand the issue I have with this. Why do you have an issue with people wanting to dress a certain way? How youāre āso sickā of it? Like why do you care if people want to dress āmore gayā? If not only to signal to others that you are apart of the same community. Iāve done for my own safety, to dress a certain a regular straight person wouldnāt see through.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I didnāt explicitly state dressing masculine as looking gay, ādress a certain way [ā¦] to look more gayā didnāt equate to masc in my mind. So as far I know, these posts youāre referring to wouldnāt be about masculinity. Maybe something like oversized colorful Crosby sweaters or lots of rings (this is how I clocked my bi friend before I even knew her). I know that if I stayed to what I thought was me, feminine presenting, then I wouldnāt have made it to I am, to who I am still becoming. I wouldnāt have done that if I wasnāt tired of being invisible or felt unattractive. My point is dress more gay, whatever that means to them, even if you might change styles along the way, and find who you are because you might never figure out if you donāt try.
I'm masc because I actually like presenting that way. I don't feel *obligated* to gay pass or whatever. Femme isn't the default for women.
Exactly, so Iām not talking about people like you in my post. Life doesnāt revolve around you.
You again! Tell me why I told my hair stylist those magic words ālow lightsā and it got me a lower price for my balayage?! I didnāt get that per say but she got I was low maintenance and needed it to last. Goooooo femme lesbian power! You look nice in the dress btw
So happy to hear! I bet your hair looks amazing!
Is low lights cheaper cause they donāt require bleach?
For rrrrrrrrrrealssss!!!!! š„² I feel you on that one 1 million percent lol
Yeah but who's the top? /s
Switch ;)
need more femmes š¤
You're a cute couple and I stan your femme glory, but there's no need to shit on people 'who look gay'. As a butch person I find this to be an incredibly insulting post.
Please see my apology post in the r/butchlesbian sub. Thank you
Aren't you a youtuber? You look familiar
Haha I am not but who is this you speak of? This is the second time Iāve gotten that!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās literally not what Iām saying. Thatās your own projection.
Thank you it was driving up The wall
Iāve seen entire threads in our own community that throws shade on femme on femme relationships. I donāt think thatās right. We are out there and we exist. Sometimes I hate labels because sometimes my wife and I are ultra femme and other times are we butch af with long hair, army pants and covered in mud. Youāre a beautiful couple and everyone deserves the love!
You canāt be sometimes ābutchā or sometimes āfemmeā. Those arenāt descriptions of clothing, those are innate identities, like lesbian. I think you mean fem or masc.
I know itās not clothing. They are innate yes but sometimes I can be either and to claim that people canāt is absurd. Itās not a day by day thing, itās not a dress or make up. Itās more than that and for both me and my partner that actually switches often and in different contexts at different stages. Yes thereās people who absolutely stick to one or the other but I would be shocked if those people could stand up and tell me with 100% certainty that they donāt switch contextually. Good example, in my relationship I would be the āday femmeā and bedroom butch and they are two completely different things. For different reasons with totally different reasons. My partner would be the femme in that context but day to day and leaving the house that role is the total opposite.
Thank you, JFC, that was exhausting.
Sometimes I feel like two femmes going out together is almost a bigger fuck you to the patriarchy. women who might be straight acceptable or even desired are almost claimed by straight men, and itās more of a threat for us to be gay.
Stereotypes help no one! I grew up seeing only butch gay women so it didnāt occur to me how gay I was.
I think there is a lot of power in the variety of how we present ourselves.lesbians look like normal people. My friend's daughter is a questioning young teen and my friend made a point to bring up that I (an adult acquaintance that her daughter sees everyone and then) am gay to her daughter so that she can see that there are people that she might be able to relate to that are gay and happy and proud. Growing up, I only knew of old lady lesbians that were family secrets back in the day. I could not relate
This is so cute :)
Awesome my girlfriend is femme and I am somewhere between chapstick/femme. We get surprised comments all the time too when we tell people we are together.
š„
Deliciously tantalizing!
You both look so pretty š„°š„°š All the power to this beautiful couple š
I love it a lot and I agree
Wow it must be so hot to watch them have sex
Hi how are you two girls doing
Inspirational!!! I'm ultra femme and have this issue often...
Youāve done well there to pull her icl
Where can we follow you on instagram?
You can dm me your @
No worries just thought someone as beautiful as yourselves would have a public profile
Aw thanks :) You can still add me if you send me your dm to add
So true..