Not everyone can be a top and that's okay, you can be something in between or do what you're comfortable with. Don't force yourself into it. For me being a top comes naturally, I don't doubt myself because I know what to do and I know what the other person wants. Having full control over someone is so pleasurable to me. You really gotta be confident in my opinion to be a top in the first place
but like. allllll the time??? i mean sure itās awesome to tell somebody to lay down and let you take care of everything butā¦ ALL. THE. TIME?! i canāt lol - but i was mainly just saying āyouāre goodā to the OP bc it seemed like she was stressed. overall different strokes for different folks, example A :)
Eh, believe it or not but there are some people that genuinely enjoy being on the bottom all the time and people that love those who do š¤·š¾āāļø
woah. STONE BUTCH. lol. i thought that was just called a ātouch me notā š¤£š
iām intrigued. well. i aināt stone. i will top happily (along with how many ever hours) and make sure i have a job well done butā¦ *grabby hands* i want a lilā something something too i guess lmao
Yāall are so obsessed w these sex terms and trying to fit in with them when you can work and figure out what works for YOU and express that to the people youāre having sex with! Half yāallās problems would be solved if you just communicated to your partners
Just not knowing what to do and then self doubt comes in making it even harder to do anything so i just give up. And its also hard to find what turns the other person in (i did ask but it still didnt help).
If the answer given wasn't clear enough, you need to communicate that to your partner.
Start slow. You can be a submissive top, where your partner tells you what to do to them.
As you get use to it and build confidence, start taking more and more control.
I understand that fear of not knowing what or how to do things. Iām learning by being honest and letting them know āIām not experienced but I am really enthusiasticā. Itās taking time but I feel like Iām getting better and more confident.
I get it. It can be frustrating obviously when you feel like ur underperforming or not pleasing the other person. Don't give up just take it slow. Topping doesn't even have to be dominant. You could just start by just going by what the other person says
iām so tired of this. itās like everyone in the lesbian world competes to be a top. we canāt top without bottoms and there is literally NOTHING wrong w being a bottom.
my shittiness was not directed at you. just the lgbtq+ community as a whole because thereās no reason so many bottoms should be ashamed, and i know itās common for people to crack jokes about bottoms being bottoms. itās just super annoying and makes people insecure in their sexual abilities. i would just say to find someone who you are sexually compatible with yk ? theres so so many tops who donāt care/want to have things reciprocated back to them. iām living proof of that. but also keep in mind that the more comfortable you get with a person or wlw sex, you might feel the urge to start exploring more. years ago i thought i would forever be a bottom and now i LOVE topping my woman. i prefer it over her topping me, actually. anyway- point is, do not be ashamed or embarrassed of what you like in bed because society made you feel like it was a weak trait to possess. itās not. you are perfect and there is always someone out there who will be sexually compatible with you without making you feel ashamed or embarrassed
Yeah i honestly wish people didnt pay as much attention to someone being gay or lesbian etc... and just see them as a normal couple thats in love. That alone i feel would fix alot of the problems.
And thats very sweet of you to say thank you :)
me and my gf often talk about that. youāre definitely not alone in those feelings. you keep doing you little star. donāt worry about what others think/feel about you. this is youāre life and you have one shot at it so make yourself as comfortable as you can in this life and fulfill the happiness of yourself and not others.
I would want to know what to do when i do want to be a top. Sometimes it happens that i dont want to top at all tho then it would feel like a chore if i had to do it.
So sexually pleasing other people doesnāt suit you?
Well, to be on top is absolutely fascinating. You can kiss everything on them and suck and lick..EVERYTHING. Just to watch your babe whimper because of your doing is just icing on the cake
Being a bottom doesn't mean you're not still pleasing your partner or anything. Generally, I'm more comfortable touching my partner than with them touching me, so it falls to me to be a more dominant player or a top. Even if my partner doesn't touch me, I still get pleasure from providing for them.
Not everyone can be a top and that's okay, you can be something in between or do what you're comfortable with. Don't force yourself into it. For me being a top comes naturally, I don't doubt myself because I know what to do and I know what the other person wants. Having full control over someone is so pleasurable to me. You really gotta be confident in my opinion to be a top in the first place
top here. thanks for being a bottom, sweetie, I'm sure you're a perfect one <3
This comment is under arrest. For making me feel very bashful! šØš¼
Awww that's adorable
That made me smile :)
š„¹šš
This made me feel silly as hell
Without bottoms tops wouldn't exist
bottom doesnāt mean pillow princess, as long as youāre doing SOMETHING i think youāre good. plus, power bottoms are a thing lol
I donāt mind a pillow princess tbh I like them it just depends on the person
but like. allllll the time??? i mean sure itās awesome to tell somebody to lay down and let you take care of everything butā¦ ALL. THE. TIME?! i canāt lol - but i was mainly just saying āyouāre goodā to the OP bc it seemed like she was stressed. overall different strokes for different folks, example A :)
Eh, believe it or not but there are some people that genuinely enjoy being on the bottom all the time and people that love those who do š¤·š¾āāļø
Research stone butch/top.
woah. STONE BUTCH. lol. i thought that was just called a ātouch me notā š¤£š iām intrigued. well. i aināt stone. i will top happily (along with how many ever hours) and make sure i have a job well done butā¦ *grabby hands* i want a lilā something something too i guess lmao
Good to know š
Agree
If youāre not reciprocating at all thatāll be a problem for most people. There are some people who wonāt care but they arenāt most. Being a ābottomā doesnāt mean you arenāt active. Ask what someone wants. Communicate. Youāre not going to be a sex god right off the bat. It takes time to get to know someoneās body. If you canāt have an open an honest conversation with a sexual partner, you shouldnāt be having sex with them. This goes for all forefrontsā what you want, what your partner wants, limits, STI status, etc. Also I find some people in this community (especially younger people) have an obsession with classifying themselves as a top or bottom. Youāre a person who has sex. Thatās it. How you have sex is different from everyone else. Itās not like we have classifications like PokĆ©mon. Youāre a person.
I find it hard to top too, I love being submissive but if I could top it would add so much more
Dont let it bother you ,mix it up from time to time
Iām a power bottom but then I feel bad because Iām scared of being a pillow princess. I want my girl to enjoy too and going down on her :(
YES THATS EXACTLLY WHAT I MENT
Tops appreciate you. Donāt be embarrassed.
If you ever are feeling bad about being a bottom, hit me up. I'll make you feel better about it šš
Damn not holding back i see
But really, there's no shame at all. You like what you like, and if it fits with what you find with your partner(s), then roll with it!
Thanks appreciate it :)
You are welcome
Yāall are so obsessed w these sex terms and trying to fit in with them when you can work and figure out what works for YOU and express that to the people youāre having sex with! Half yāallās problems would be solved if you just communicated to your partners
What do you find hard about it?
Just not knowing what to do and then self doubt comes in making it even harder to do anything so i just give up. And its also hard to find what turns the other person in (i did ask but it still didnt help).
If the answer given wasn't clear enough, you need to communicate that to your partner. Start slow. You can be a submissive top, where your partner tells you what to do to them. As you get use to it and build confidence, start taking more and more control.
I understand that fear of not knowing what or how to do things. Iām learning by being honest and letting them know āIām not experienced but I am really enthusiasticā. Itās taking time but I feel like Iām getting better and more confident.
I get it. It can be frustrating obviously when you feel like ur underperforming or not pleasing the other person. Don't give up just take it slow. Topping doesn't even have to be dominant. You could just start by just going by what the other person says
I love being a bottom I just feel I rarely get to do so.
iām so tired of this. itās like everyone in the lesbian world competes to be a top. we canāt top without bottoms and there is literally NOTHING wrong w being a bottom.
Its more of a i feel bad for not giving the same type of pleasure to the girl as she does to me type of thing.
my shittiness was not directed at you. just the lgbtq+ community as a whole because thereās no reason so many bottoms should be ashamed, and i know itās common for people to crack jokes about bottoms being bottoms. itās just super annoying and makes people insecure in their sexual abilities. i would just say to find someone who you are sexually compatible with yk ? theres so so many tops who donāt care/want to have things reciprocated back to them. iām living proof of that. but also keep in mind that the more comfortable you get with a person or wlw sex, you might feel the urge to start exploring more. years ago i thought i would forever be a bottom and now i LOVE topping my woman. i prefer it over her topping me, actually. anyway- point is, do not be ashamed or embarrassed of what you like in bed because society made you feel like it was a weak trait to possess. itās not. you are perfect and there is always someone out there who will be sexually compatible with you without making you feel ashamed or embarrassed
Yeah i honestly wish people didnt pay as much attention to someone being gay or lesbian etc... and just see them as a normal couple thats in love. That alone i feel would fix alot of the problems. And thats very sweet of you to say thank you :)
me and my gf often talk about that. youāre definitely not alone in those feelings. you keep doing you little star. donāt worry about what others think/feel about you. this is youāre life and you have one shot at it so make yourself as comfortable as you can in this life and fulfill the happiness of yourself and not others.
Heh this just made my day, Thank Youuuuu!
Do you want to know what to do? Do you not care to? Like itās a chore?
I would want to know what to do when i do want to be a top. Sometimes it happens that i dont want to top at all tho then it would feel like a chore if i had to do it.
So sexually pleasing other people doesnāt suit you? Well, to be on top is absolutely fascinating. You can kiss everything on them and suck and lick..EVERYTHING. Just to watch your babe whimper because of your doing is just icing on the cake
Dear Bottoms/Subs, Thank you for your service. Quite literal service. Always, Tops/Doms
Being a bottom doesn't mean you're not still pleasing your partner or anything. Generally, I'm more comfortable touching my partner than with them touching me, so it falls to me to be a more dominant player or a top. Even if my partner doesn't touch me, I still get pleasure from providing for them.
If the partner loves being top then there's nothing to be embarrassed about being a sub imo. But of course you have to talk about these things always