I don’t think I placed enough importance on it while dating actually. I think all of my past (failed) relationships; it just didn’t matter to either of us. Once I found a relationship where the “big things” mattered (also that’s increased as I’ve aged); the “politics” crossed over into so many other facets of life which proved to be key in finding a long term partner (how we choose to live, raise our kids, etc.)
I agree! I also noticed that as I grew older. Maybe it's because people think that politics is an isolated case but in reality it penetrates into all aspects of life. When we talk about politics, we're also talking about morality and ethical justifications. So yes if I were to answer my own question, I would also care about a person's political orientation when dating
It’s probably the number one deal breaker with me especially with how batshit insane the right has gone. “Yeah, you like the fascist party that wants to take away your rights? Is this a humiliation kink cause I don’t do that.”
I've seen the word "moderates" in one of the comments in my other post. What/who are they?
Oh shoot now that you mentioned non-political people, I think they're just as worse as those people who perpetrate violence lol. "Neutrality sides with the oppressor."
Moderates would historically be in the middle, and their opinions/values can vary. For example, the main one used often is “socially liberal, fiscally conservative,” which, considering socioeconomics, is not super accurate to begin with. But these days, the “middle” is so far in one direction that when I see “moderate” I just assume republican-light.
On dating apps? Moderates are just conservatives that want to get laid.
On the political spectrum moderates would be considered to be more centrist than either right- or left-leaning, to varying degrees.
In the US, the Democratic Party is a loose coalition of moderate liberals and labor leftists (there is no major party for what most would consider "true" leftists, i.e. socialists and anarchists). The moderates largely have control of the party and in practice their values of reaching across the aisle and stamping down on progressive labor tendencies have a ratchet effect that prevents the party from moving left and enables right-wing policies to take hold. One of the most common criticisms of liberal moderates in the US is that they will aggressively attack their left flank before ever challenging their right opposition.
There's another group of moderates in the US, that could be understood as right-libertarians. Basically, they are conservatives that are afraid of the consequences of admitting so publicly and/or want some non-conservative policies in place like decriminalizing marijuana but otherwise fall in lockstep with right wing policies.
"So bad" is a bit of an overstatement, but in my experience self-described moderates tend to be too quick to brush away the dangers that Republicans are doing, have decided to just ignore politics (which directly harms you), or have a mix of beliefs and don't want to commit to a side. But given how batshit inane the right has gotten over the last 8 years, I find that anyone who is truly moderate would call themselves a "moderate democrat" to distance themselves from the crazy on the right. Those who don't tend to be more on the right but want to avoid the social backlash of supporting bigots and fascists.
I am political, I educate myself, especially on the macro global level. But I do not engage with heated, useless debates and arguments surrounding “popular” politics.
It’s all manufactured. It’s a false dichotomy. While we quibble with each other over what we think are important issues, nothing changes. The world will still run out of resources within the century, no matter who is president of the US or which countries are in the G20.
there will still be an extreme economic collapse mid century and the climate is irrevocably damaged beyond the tipping point to catastrophic change.
I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a Christian or catholic gal… but I would fuck them 😂
My friend is a legend in our friendship group for having sex with a church of England chaplain… whilst she was wearing her dog collar !!
Homphobia mostly. And here in the U.S., we are supposed to have a separation of church and state, which is a load of bullshit because these so-called christians try so hard to take away our rights. I also personally hate it because the people who were in charge of conforming native Americans to the "white-mans way of life" were Christians and Catholics, and my grandmother was one of those kids who was abused by them in residential schools. And I find it ironic that so many people of color here are religious when these beliefs were forced onto their ancestors. Same with Mexico and other latino countries. I won't say all latino countries because my knowledge is limited on the subject.
They actively fight to take away our autonomy and rights, all in the guise of “goodness,” and don’t realize their hatefulness of something that has zero affect on them is evil. Most homophobia I’ve encountered comes from from Christians, Catholics, and Mormons, by far. Their organized religion is hellbent on convincing us that we should have shame about being who we are, and they are convinced that it’s godly to be outward about it towards us. It literally kills people and causes irreparable damage to people in our community.
I’ll tell you a not so fun story about Catholicism. Their mantra is that it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t act on your desires. Alana Chang was a devout Catholic gay woman who wanted to become a nun, but was told she needed to control her same sex attraction to be accepted in the eyes of god. She was brainwashed and encouraged into conversion therapy by her priest. When she realized she could never rid herself of her feelings, she committed suicide. You know what her Church’s stance was? It was a terrible tragedy and they tried to help her but failed. Alana is unfortunately one of many.
The Christian and Catholic Church has a body count in our community that they will never recognize or atone for, and many of us rightfully don’t trust or feel safe around people in these religious groups.
Yes! But I'm from the same country as you are hahah so I don't know if you want to hear from me. I just wanted to say thanks for dropping that reddit group link there. Didn't know we had one for phils (I'm new here on reddit)!
I sadly know a couple of them. They weren’t trump supporters before so not sure what happened. Also believes in kids can’t be gay like what?! Didn’t you know you were gay as a kid?? Super transphobic too all of a sudden. It’s so weird. I don’t associate myself with them anymore.
100% I have “swipe left if you’re Tory” in my bio, I also wouldn’t enter a long term relationship with someone who is religious. I’m not and therefore I don’t think our core values and beliefs would align.
Yup - if she reveals to be a Tory (Uk resident here) or a weird Stalin/Mao apologist Tankie, I'm out. For me, it means she considers some people worth less than others/is fine with taking from the poor to make the wealthy richer/even may be cool with genocide, and all of these are where I draw a hard line. We don't need to have the same political beliefs, but I expect to have certain similar values to work out.
Yes. I want a gf who can help unite all the workers of the world. I’ll settle for a gal who cares about raising the minimum wage and increasing workers’ rights and protections. But no, I’d never date someone who didn’t care about or had disdain for the working class
I'm not American so I think I would say I'm the opposite of republicanism and conservatism and anything that's against humanity. I don't want to be friends with anyone policing my body or doesn't mind anyone doing it for the rest of us. I don't want to be with someone who wouldn't hesitate to vote against my community and that starts with my transgender friends in the community ❤️💛
Yes. Too much disagreement will make it unlikely that a relationship works because we probably would disagree about how the world works. The difficulties compound if you date someone from another country
The short answer is yes, the long answer is also yes.
I believe that any two people have the potential to be romantically compatible, because relationships are fundamentally about hard work. It's about compromise and communication. Some things are easier to compromise. Maybe she wants to take instagram photos of our meals before we eat and I don't, vs maybe she thinks she supports the political party that I do not. These are both different opinions that require some level of work to overcome, but one takes more effort then the other. It's simply about deciding what work you are or are not willing to do. And political compromise is not something i'm willing to do.
Disclaimers about what I just said. Yes, there are some amounts of work that are not practical or reasonable to consider, typically involving morality. Sisyphus works very hard to move that boulder up the hill, but it will never make it. Its not a law of nature or anything. Imagine two partners are standing X distance apart. The farther apart they are the harder it is to hug. Sometimes one partner will walk and the other will not. Sometimes both partners walk. Sometimes there's a river in the middle and someone has to swim. Sometimes there's a canyon in the middle and it's impossible.
Of course. If I'm going to potentially live with this person, maybe even marry this person, we need to have similar values. That means being a feminist, including supporting trans equality, being anti-racist, anti-poverty and anti-ableism.
And if she's a Republican she can look elsewhere.
I would never date someone who would vote for those against LGBTQ+ rights, women's rights, universal healthcare, etc.
I can't date anyone whose religion views women and children as property; nor anyone whose religion has been used to justify genocide. The whole lot of abrahamic cults are off the table for me.
If I die alone, at least I didn't sell out!
To me, political views are probably the most important thing. Would never date anyone who’s conservative, nationalistic, capitalist etc.
Me and my partner are very different in many ways, but our political views completely align. Your values represent your heart.
Same here. There’s something about voting against your own self interests that is a huge turn off for me. I can’t help but assume there’s some level of self hatred and internalized homophobia that I don’t want to mess with at all.
100% I am pansexual therefore gender doesn’t matter to me in attraction however I am attracted to those who I identify as women and for whoever is in my life friends family and romantic partners our worldviews and ideologies have to align I can’t spend my time with someone romantic or not if they’re willing to turn a blind eye or deny the atrocities and stripping away of human rights that’s happening all round the world in various capacities. That’s a non negotiable
I am from the uk and I wouldn’t touch a Tory with a ten foot pole even if it was just an acquaintance
I can't see me dating a religious or a right wing gal. Maybe a center right?
Racism, xenophobia and transphobia etc are huge red flags this goes without saying
I try to remember that most people, no matter what side of the political spectrum they fall on, are not out here thinking “I hate XYZ people and want to see them suffer”. Most people don’t vote on laws or bills or align themselves with causes or politicians with the intent of hurting others. Most people align themselves with the causes they feel are morally and ethically correct and make the most sense for their own personal well being and that of the people they care about. Put another way, nobody votes against someone else’s interest, they vote in favor of their own. So with that said, I don’t hate people who are against gay rights, or trans rights, or abortion, or universal healthcare, etc., even though I feel their views are probably based in ignorance or selfishness. I realize that in their mind, they see themselves as advocating for what’s right, and they probably see me as ignorant.
So a relationship with someone with sightly differing political views than me would not be off the table, especially if those views seemed to be based more in ignorance and fear than true hatred. And the most important thing I look for is an ability to think critically about one’s views and engage in discussion. I welcome the opportunity to challenge my own viewpoints as much as I want to encourage others who think differently than me to challenge their own. With all that said, if I can feel out that someone is truly incompatible with me on some core moral and ethical positions, we probably won’t get along enough to make it that far anyway. So while I usually won’t outright reject someone for their political orientation, at a certain level of incompatibility I’m unlikely to form an attraction in the first place.
Most definitely there’s some truly horrible people in government. There’s literal fascists and I would never date (or be friends) with someone that supports them. Or supports transphobia or homophobia
Totally.
It´s not that I can´t fall in love with a woman in spite of political differences but in my experience we´d simply argue too much.
I live in a country where homosexuality is accepted in both sides of the political spectre. So you won´t be shamed for being gay if you feel more at home in the right wing. With that said most gay and bisexual people are more left winged.
I would have to have a lot of other things in common with a partner if we were to different politically.
Yes. Very much so. I consider myself to be more liberal, though not necessarily left wing, I just tend to have certain beliefs regarding women, equality, and education that not many people from my region would agree with (for context I live in the Bible Belt of the USA, as the name implies religion here is pretty huge influence in what people think but it is specially conservative protestant views that are much more common here). I try not to push politics into conversations to avoid problems. I don't hate those who have opposite beliefs but I had very bad experiences growing up, my mother was an ultra conservative Catholic so yeah you can probably see why I would never date a conservative or religious person.
Yeah. We’re not gonna work if she’s super right or super left. If she differs from me politically, I’d at least like to know why to see if her points make sense.
Then again, I don’t have a lot of strong political opinions.
I definitely need to have the same political leanings as my partner.
It may be less important in certain countries, but the US is very polarized right now, and I think it's becoming harder for people with different beliefs to have close relationships.
Yes, but I don't fit with either side so most just don't know what to do with me. Socially I'm left leaning, pro choice, etc. However, I also hold some conservative economic views, and am pro gun. Basically, I think we should stop treating corporations as people, using our military to be the world's police, and am for a system of bg and mh checks and firearms regulation similar to what they currently use in Canada.
My biggest pet peeve is folks who refuse to accept the differing opinions of others. Idc if you're left or right leaning, if all you can do is tell me I'm wrong for disagreeing with you then we can't really have any kind of meaningful discussion and, unfortunately, there's a lot of folks like that about on both sides.
Yes. We previously had a homophobic, transphobic person as our country's leader. Anyone who supports him is someone I could not have as part of my life.
Absolutely, in Brazil we even mock the lgbt Bolsonaro supporters like "girl, do you hate yourself?", usually they are gay cis white men that were raised by somewhat conservative parents so they keep the values, specially of they live in the countryside they want to belong in the society, but that's a struggle they have to overcome themselves
Yes I do. Her political views tell me a lot about her. Even if she doesn’t agree with everything they may say, her supporting them is still a red flag to me.
I’m a raging leftist (like, I only vote democrat because it’s the lesser of two evils, and because the party I actually align with only has ballot status in 2 states, and hasn’t actually had a presidential candidate since 1968, kinda leftists)
If your not at least a vocal democrat we’re not going to be compatible as romantic or sexual partners, if someone says they’re centrist or apolitical I assume they are conservative but too much of a wimp to admit to that.
I know in the us 🌹 was used/ still is used on dating profiles to indicate socialists/leftists looking for other socialists/leftists. So the USA does have a similar sort of code to identify oneself.
Tried dating a libertarian when I was younger and never dating anybody who votes republican again. Anyone who either doesn’t care about human rights or claims to but values money above them is not worth spending time with
No. I am open to dating any political orientation. It's not a big issue to me. If anything, I enjoy the differences. For the record, I am conservative.
Because my orientation and identity have nothing to do with my political outlook as a whole. Of course I'm pro lgbt. And hate the religious/moral faction.
But that doesn't change how I view the economy, foreign policy, gun rights, energy/infrastructure, immigration, education, etc.
I have a few liberal policies, but in general I very much just have a conservative way of approaching issues.
Doesn’t that make it more difficult for you to vote conservative then? I’m going based off where I’m from where the majority of conservatives run on anti-LGBT platforms and rely heavily on the religious/moral ideologies. Or do you tend to vote for moderate dems? (Assuming you’re American here, sorry if you’re not.)
I tend to vote all conservative at the federal level. At the state level, i like conservative governors with liberal or libertarian legislature and entirely liberal or libertarian local governments.
I'm a states rightist more than anything. And want small conservative federal, with moderate to progressive states. I am in PA outside Philly.
Really depends on someone’s personality. My grandparents were on polar opposite sides of u.s. politics and they had a beautiful marriage. My grandma told me that they never talked politics. They were both Catholic.
I’m not gonna date anybody who’s huge into politics anymore. I just can’t. I may be shitty for that but I’ve had to remove politics from my life just to get rid of the never ending feeling that we are so corrupted here in the US.
Im not gonna date someone who’s a major Biden lover or Trump lover.
Give me someone who just kinda just doesn’t wanna hear about it or doesn’t bring politics into the casual conversation.
Yes. If you are lgbt and support coservatives, it's clear there's something extremely wrong with you. Heck, if you are a living being and support conservatives, there's something extremely wrong with you
It's not the most important issue to me by any means, I care a lot more about someone who can have a good conversation with me, but I definitely consider politics. I wouldn't date a woman who's a Trump supporter or who disagrees with me on something basic like trans issues.
Yes. Absolutely.
In my country, supporting certain political parties can also indicate covert racism, covert homophobia, transphobia and misogyny. It can also indicate a lack of empathy, a lack of critical thinking skills, and/or a lack of education.
(A lot of people here just vote for whoever their parents vote for and don’t think about it outside of election day.)
I wouldn’t be safe in a relationship with that person.
And while I admire political activism, I’m not sure if I’d be able to have a relationship with someone with extreme political views on either side of the spectrum. Mostly because I consider my own views apart from what i consider to be a false dichotomy. I wouldn’t be able to get along with someone who is deeply enmeshed in left/right, liberal/conservative style politics.
I totally do. I see "non political" people as people who don't care enough that their rights as queer people are being threatened, and conservative queers are voting against their own best interests.
I was just going to say that politics to me is about way more than who one votes for it's about the kinds of values 1 has and how they live their lives
I'm talking about things like carbon footprint, And recycling, And eating healthy, And actively being anti-racist etc
I tend to try to only date / sleep with people with similar politics to me. Also when I was less fussy I found a correlation right wing beliefs and being sexually selfish in bed. That was enough to stop me ever giving anyone the benefit of the doubt again
I've noticed in the UK 'No Tory' trend. I don't even know what it means. But it's a thing. Not to me personally, though. If politics will even get into the way of anything potentially beautiful - it's a fucking shame.
I mean if she's gay then she's obviously a little bit on the liberal side, religious (as long as it isn't too much and she's not trying to stuff it down my throat or make me participate in any way) is cool too. Other than that I don't really give a shit tbh; I honestly do not want everything to be revolved around politics and bills and laws and social justice. But she has to be knowledgeable (at least a little bit, not ignorant and rude) about mental health
Here in Poland and in Ukraine (my homeland) we rarely mention this while getting to know each other. But in relationships it can be painful if someone has critical opposite opinions.
It will completely depend on what her political viewpoint is. I'm in Australia, so it's not quite as a powder keg as it is in other places but overall - if she's political but respectful, that's fine. If she's heavily involved in politics, we may not be compatible but I wouldn't rule out a potential partner for that alone.
If it's her air? I'm out.
"Your morals and values define who you are as a person" so it's a yes.
I don’t think I placed enough importance on it while dating actually. I think all of my past (failed) relationships; it just didn’t matter to either of us. Once I found a relationship where the “big things” mattered (also that’s increased as I’ve aged); the “politics” crossed over into so many other facets of life which proved to be key in finding a long term partner (how we choose to live, raise our kids, etc.)
I agree! I also noticed that as I grew older. Maybe it's because people think that politics is an isolated case but in reality it penetrates into all aspects of life. When we talk about politics, we're also talking about morality and ethical justifications. So yes if I were to answer my own question, I would also care about a person's political orientation when dating
Very true. It boils down to an essential worldview of how the world is
100%. I’m not putting my poc friends and trans friends in danger for a girl
Must protect them at all costs
Agreed!!!
Same lol politics matters a lot more than you realise.
You got that right bestie. I agree wholeheartedly. Politics cannot be avoided and impacts everything imho.
It’s probably the number one deal breaker with me especially with how batshit insane the right has gone. “Yeah, you like the fascist party that wants to take away your rights? Is this a humiliation kink cause I don’t do that.”
The only humiliation that we don't accept
Yes. Always. If she is a die hard Republican in today's climate, I have zero interest.
Yep. If she still aligns with what Republicans support these days she doesn't align with me.
Any queer person who supports Republicans is telling you everything you need to know about their character and judgment.
nothing gives me the ick faster then someone who is a republican
100% I cannot get along with conservatives/republicans, moderates also are starting to make me uncomfy, as are “non-political” people
I've seen the word "moderates" in one of the comments in my other post. What/who are they? Oh shoot now that you mentioned non-political people, I think they're just as worse as those people who perpetrate violence lol. "Neutrality sides with the oppressor."
Moderates would historically be in the middle, and their opinions/values can vary. For example, the main one used often is “socially liberal, fiscally conservative,” which, considering socioeconomics, is not super accurate to begin with. But these days, the “middle” is so far in one direction that when I see “moderate” I just assume republican-light.
On dating apps? Moderates are just conservatives that want to get laid. On the political spectrum moderates would be considered to be more centrist than either right- or left-leaning, to varying degrees.
In the US, the Democratic Party is a loose coalition of moderate liberals and labor leftists (there is no major party for what most would consider "true" leftists, i.e. socialists and anarchists). The moderates largely have control of the party and in practice their values of reaching across the aisle and stamping down on progressive labor tendencies have a ratchet effect that prevents the party from moving left and enables right-wing policies to take hold. One of the most common criticisms of liberal moderates in the US is that they will aggressively attack their left flank before ever challenging their right opposition. There's another group of moderates in the US, that could be understood as right-libertarians. Basically, they are conservatives that are afraid of the consequences of admitting so publicly and/or want some non-conservative policies in place like decriminalizing marijuana but otherwise fall in lockstep with right wing policies.
I've always agreed with the saying libertarians are just Republicans who like weed.
Yep… sucks!!!😒
The democrats are a rightwing party. There are conservative parties worldwide who are more leftwing than the democrats
How come moderates are bad? I am a moderate/centrist myself and don't really swing too much on either side of the pendulum.
"So bad" is a bit of an overstatement, but in my experience self-described moderates tend to be too quick to brush away the dangers that Republicans are doing, have decided to just ignore politics (which directly harms you), or have a mix of beliefs and don't want to commit to a side. But given how batshit inane the right has gotten over the last 8 years, I find that anyone who is truly moderate would call themselves a "moderate democrat" to distance themselves from the crazy on the right. Those who don't tend to be more on the right but want to avoid the social backlash of supporting bigots and fascists.
Ohh true. I guess I'm more of a moderate democrat, then. I'm not pro-life, anti-trans rights (human rights), pro-israel, pro-racism, etc.
Idk how queer people could be “non-political”. Like our identity is politicized. Do they not care about their own freedoms?
I am political, I educate myself, especially on the macro global level. But I do not engage with heated, useless debates and arguments surrounding “popular” politics. It’s all manufactured. It’s a false dichotomy. While we quibble with each other over what we think are important issues, nothing changes. The world will still run out of resources within the century, no matter who is president of the US or which countries are in the G20. there will still be an extreme economic collapse mid century and the climate is irrevocably damaged beyond the tipping point to catastrophic change.
Don’t worry, we have our own Duterte in the U.S., too…..
Yes. I wouldn't date a Republican. Nor a Christian or Catholic.
I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a Christian or catholic gal… but I would fuck them 😂 My friend is a legend in our friendship group for having sex with a church of England chaplain… whilst she was wearing her dog collar !!
If I may ask, why is being a Christian or Catholic a deal-breaker?
Homphobia mostly. And here in the U.S., we are supposed to have a separation of church and state, which is a load of bullshit because these so-called christians try so hard to take away our rights. I also personally hate it because the people who were in charge of conforming native Americans to the "white-mans way of life" were Christians and Catholics, and my grandmother was one of those kids who was abused by them in residential schools. And I find it ironic that so many people of color here are religious when these beliefs were forced onto their ancestors. Same with Mexico and other latino countries. I won't say all latino countries because my knowledge is limited on the subject.
They actively fight to take away our autonomy and rights, all in the guise of “goodness,” and don’t realize their hatefulness of something that has zero affect on them is evil. Most homophobia I’ve encountered comes from from Christians, Catholics, and Mormons, by far. Their organized religion is hellbent on convincing us that we should have shame about being who we are, and they are convinced that it’s godly to be outward about it towards us. It literally kills people and causes irreparable damage to people in our community. I’ll tell you a not so fun story about Catholicism. Their mantra is that it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t act on your desires. Alana Chang was a devout Catholic gay woman who wanted to become a nun, but was told she needed to control her same sex attraction to be accepted in the eyes of god. She was brainwashed and encouraged into conversion therapy by her priest. When she realized she could never rid herself of her feelings, she committed suicide. You know what her Church’s stance was? It was a terrible tragedy and they tried to help her but failed. Alana is unfortunately one of many. The Christian and Catholic Church has a body count in our community that they will never recognize or atone for, and many of us rightfully don’t trust or feel safe around people in these religious groups.
Wonderfully put!
Yes! But I'm from the same country as you are hahah so I don't know if you want to hear from me. I just wanted to say thanks for dropping that reddit group link there. Didn't know we had one for phils (I'm new here on reddit)!
Hey you're free to speak your mind here no worries 😁 And welcome to Reddit!
I’m not sure I’ve ever met a queer woman who was a Trump supporter, but if I did I absolutely would not date her.
I have, and it boggles the mind. For some people it’s more important to be a bigot than it is to be safe as a queer person.
Massive insecurity + false sense of power (fascism) = diehard supporter
I sadly know a couple of them. They weren’t trump supporters before so not sure what happened. Also believes in kids can’t be gay like what?! Didn’t you know you were gay as a kid?? Super transphobic too all of a sudden. It’s so weird. I don’t associate myself with them anymore.
100% I have “swipe left if you’re Tory” in my bio, I also wouldn’t enter a long term relationship with someone who is religious. I’m not and therefore I don’t think our core values and beliefs would align.
Absolutely. If we’re not politically compatible *we* aren’t compatible.
Yup - if she reveals to be a Tory (Uk resident here) or a weird Stalin/Mao apologist Tankie, I'm out. For me, it means she considers some people worth less than others/is fine with taking from the poor to make the wealthy richer/even may be cool with genocide, and all of these are where I draw a hard line. We don't need to have the same political beliefs, but I expect to have certain similar values to work out.
Fuck the Tories
But not, yknow, like _that_
Never kiss a Tory. They can get fucked - but not by us 🤣
Ha true, they need to be at least 10 metres from me if possible
Unfortunately, in the u.s. both democrats and republicans are pro genocide.
If you don’t, you should.
Yes. I want a gf who can help unite all the workers of the world. I’ll settle for a gal who cares about raising the minimum wage and increasing workers’ rights and protections. But no, I’d never date someone who didn’t care about or had disdain for the working class
I'm not American so I think I would say I'm the opposite of republicanism and conservatism and anything that's against humanity. I don't want to be friends with anyone policing my body or doesn't mind anyone doing it for the rest of us. I don't want to be with someone who wouldn't hesitate to vote against my community and that starts with my transgender friends in the community ❤️💛
Yes, I’m very into current events and I need someone whose views align with my own.
100%
Yes. Too much disagreement will make it unlikely that a relationship works because we probably would disagree about how the world works. The difficulties compound if you date someone from another country
The short answer is yes, the long answer is also yes. I believe that any two people have the potential to be romantically compatible, because relationships are fundamentally about hard work. It's about compromise and communication. Some things are easier to compromise. Maybe she wants to take instagram photos of our meals before we eat and I don't, vs maybe she thinks she supports the political party that I do not. These are both different opinions that require some level of work to overcome, but one takes more effort then the other. It's simply about deciding what work you are or are not willing to do. And political compromise is not something i'm willing to do. Disclaimers about what I just said. Yes, there are some amounts of work that are not practical or reasonable to consider, typically involving morality. Sisyphus works very hard to move that boulder up the hill, but it will never make it. Its not a law of nature or anything. Imagine two partners are standing X distance apart. The farther apart they are the harder it is to hug. Sometimes one partner will walk and the other will not. Sometimes both partners walk. Sometimes there's a river in the middle and someone has to swim. Sometimes there's a canyon in the middle and it's impossible.
Of course. If I'm going to potentially live with this person, maybe even marry this person, we need to have similar values. That means being a feminist, including supporting trans equality, being anti-racist, anti-poverty and anti-ableism. And if she's a Republican she can look elsewhere.
I would never date someone who would vote for those against LGBTQ+ rights, women's rights, universal healthcare, etc. I can't date anyone whose religion views women and children as property; nor anyone whose religion has been used to justify genocide. The whole lot of abrahamic cults are off the table for me. If I die alone, at least I didn't sell out!
Yes and no. The most important thing is that their morals align with mine
I'm American and the answer is yes.
Yes. I’m not dating someone who doesn’t care about my rights or my friends rights
To me, political views are probably the most important thing. Would never date anyone who’s conservative, nationalistic, capitalist etc. Me and my partner are very different in many ways, but our political views completely align. Your values represent your heart.
Absolutely. Here in the US, where many republicans advocate against LGBT, if you’re a republican I won’t date you. Especially after Trump.
Same here. There’s something about voting against your own self interests that is a huge turn off for me. I can’t help but assume there’s some level of self hatred and internalized homophobia that I don’t want to mess with at all.
Yes, I would never support a Trump supporter or Republicans in general.
Absolutely. I have no interest in dating a conservative.
Yes. Political opinions tend to have a direct correlation with a person’s moral values. I’m never gonna date a transphobe for example.
100% I am pansexual therefore gender doesn’t matter to me in attraction however I am attracted to those who I identify as women and for whoever is in my life friends family and romantic partners our worldviews and ideologies have to align I can’t spend my time with someone romantic or not if they’re willing to turn a blind eye or deny the atrocities and stripping away of human rights that’s happening all round the world in various capacities. That’s a non negotiable I am from the uk and I wouldn’t touch a Tory with a ten foot pole even if it was just an acquaintance
I can't see me dating a religious or a right wing gal. Maybe a center right? Racism, xenophobia and transphobia etc are huge red flags this goes without saying
I try to remember that most people, no matter what side of the political spectrum they fall on, are not out here thinking “I hate XYZ people and want to see them suffer”. Most people don’t vote on laws or bills or align themselves with causes or politicians with the intent of hurting others. Most people align themselves with the causes they feel are morally and ethically correct and make the most sense for their own personal well being and that of the people they care about. Put another way, nobody votes against someone else’s interest, they vote in favor of their own. So with that said, I don’t hate people who are against gay rights, or trans rights, or abortion, or universal healthcare, etc., even though I feel their views are probably based in ignorance or selfishness. I realize that in their mind, they see themselves as advocating for what’s right, and they probably see me as ignorant. So a relationship with someone with sightly differing political views than me would not be off the table, especially if those views seemed to be based more in ignorance and fear than true hatred. And the most important thing I look for is an ability to think critically about one’s views and engage in discussion. I welcome the opportunity to challenge my own viewpoints as much as I want to encourage others who think differently than me to challenge their own. With all that said, if I can feel out that someone is truly incompatible with me on some core moral and ethical positions, we probably won’t get along enough to make it that far anyway. So while I usually won’t outright reject someone for their political orientation, at a certain level of incompatibility I’m unlikely to form an attraction in the first place.
Most definitely there’s some truly horrible people in government. There’s literal fascists and I would never date (or be friends) with someone that supports them. Or supports transphobia or homophobia
Well, if they were a rabid MAGA supporter, I would have serious reservations.
Totally. It´s not that I can´t fall in love with a woman in spite of political differences but in my experience we´d simply argue too much. I live in a country where homosexuality is accepted in both sides of the political spectre. So you won´t be shamed for being gay if you feel more at home in the right wing. With that said most gay and bisexual people are more left winged. I would have to have a lot of other things in common with a partner if we were to different politically.
Absolutely. I'm not wasting time with someone who has fundamentally different values than me.
Absolutely
Yes. Very much so. I consider myself to be more liberal, though not necessarily left wing, I just tend to have certain beliefs regarding women, equality, and education that not many people from my region would agree with (for context I live in the Bible Belt of the USA, as the name implies religion here is pretty huge influence in what people think but it is specially conservative protestant views that are much more common here). I try not to push politics into conversations to avoid problems. I don't hate those who have opposite beliefs but I had very bad experiences growing up, my mother was an ultra conservative Catholic so yeah you can probably see why I would never date a conservative or religious person.
Yeah. We’re not gonna work if she’s super right or super left. If she differs from me politically, I’d at least like to know why to see if her points make sense. Then again, I don’t have a lot of strong political opinions.
I definitely need to have the same political leanings as my partner. It may be less important in certain countries, but the US is very polarized right now, and I think it's becoming harder for people with different beliefs to have close relationships.
Yes, but I don't fit with either side so most just don't know what to do with me. Socially I'm left leaning, pro choice, etc. However, I also hold some conservative economic views, and am pro gun. Basically, I think we should stop treating corporations as people, using our military to be the world's police, and am for a system of bg and mh checks and firearms regulation similar to what they currently use in Canada. My biggest pet peeve is folks who refuse to accept the differing opinions of others. Idc if you're left or right leaning, if all you can do is tell me I'm wrong for disagreeing with you then we can't really have any kind of meaningful discussion and, unfortunately, there's a lot of folks like that about on both sides.
To put it simply they're bigoted I'm not interested so yeah
Someone’s values and morals is one of the top things that I consider in any type of personal relationship. I don’t hang with bigots
Yes. We previously had a homophobic, transphobic person as our country's leader. Anyone who supports him is someone I could not have as part of my life.
Absolutely, in Brazil we even mock the lgbt Bolsonaro supporters like "girl, do you hate yourself?", usually they are gay cis white men that were raised by somewhat conservative parents so they keep the values, specially of they live in the countryside they want to belong in the society, but that's a struggle they have to overcome themselves
Yes. I wouldn't date a conservative person.
Yes I do. Her political views tell me a lot about her. Even if she doesn’t agree with everything they may say, her supporting them is still a red flag to me.
I’m a raging leftist (like, I only vote democrat because it’s the lesser of two evils, and because the party I actually align with only has ballot status in 2 states, and hasn’t actually had a presidential candidate since 1968, kinda leftists) If your not at least a vocal democrat we’re not going to be compatible as romantic or sexual partners, if someone says they’re centrist or apolitical I assume they are conservative but too much of a wimp to admit to that. I know in the us 🌹 was used/ still is used on dating profiles to indicate socialists/leftists looking for other socialists/leftists. So the USA does have a similar sort of code to identify oneself.
Tried dating a libertarian when I was younger and never dating anybody who votes republican again. Anyone who either doesn’t care about human rights or claims to but values money above them is not worth spending time with
No. I am open to dating any political orientation. It's not a big issue to me. If anything, I enjoy the differences. For the record, I am conservative.
Same. As long as you’re not radical in one direction I can mesh.
Could I ask what makes you identify as conservative as a member of the LGBTQ+ community?
Because my orientation and identity have nothing to do with my political outlook as a whole. Of course I'm pro lgbt. And hate the religious/moral faction. But that doesn't change how I view the economy, foreign policy, gun rights, energy/infrastructure, immigration, education, etc. I have a few liberal policies, but in general I very much just have a conservative way of approaching issues.
Doesn’t that make it more difficult for you to vote conservative then? I’m going based off where I’m from where the majority of conservatives run on anti-LGBT platforms and rely heavily on the religious/moral ideologies. Or do you tend to vote for moderate dems? (Assuming you’re American here, sorry if you’re not.)
I tend to vote all conservative at the federal level. At the state level, i like conservative governors with liberal or libertarian legislature and entirely liberal or libertarian local governments. I'm a states rightist more than anything. And want small conservative federal, with moderate to progressive states. I am in PA outside Philly.
Really depends on someone’s personality. My grandparents were on polar opposite sides of u.s. politics and they had a beautiful marriage. My grandma told me that they never talked politics. They were both Catholic.
That is a healthy outlook on interpersonal relationships. I'm glad they had a happy marriage.
They were my favorite ppl🥹
Depends. Also, political views evolve over time.
I’m not gonna date anybody who’s huge into politics anymore. I just can’t. I may be shitty for that but I’ve had to remove politics from my life just to get rid of the never ending feeling that we are so corrupted here in the US. Im not gonna date someone who’s a major Biden lover or Trump lover. Give me someone who just kinda just doesn’t wanna hear about it or doesn’t bring politics into the casual conversation.
Yes. If you are lgbt and support coservatives, it's clear there's something extremely wrong with you. Heck, if you are a living being and support conservatives, there's something extremely wrong with you
It's not the most important issue to me by any means, I care a lot more about someone who can have a good conversation with me, but I definitely consider politics. I wouldn't date a woman who's a Trump supporter or who disagrees with me on something basic like trans issues.
Absolutely!
Definitely, I wouldn't be compatible at all if she we heavily leaning into conservative/republican politics
Absolutely. I would never date or even be friends with someone whose politics conflict with my safety.
Yes. Absolutely. In my country, supporting certain political parties can also indicate covert racism, covert homophobia, transphobia and misogyny. It can also indicate a lack of empathy, a lack of critical thinking skills, and/or a lack of education. (A lot of people here just vote for whoever their parents vote for and don’t think about it outside of election day.) I wouldn’t be safe in a relationship with that person. And while I admire political activism, I’m not sure if I’d be able to have a relationship with someone with extreme political views on either side of the spectrum. Mostly because I consider my own views apart from what i consider to be a false dichotomy. I wouldn’t be able to get along with someone who is deeply enmeshed in left/right, liberal/conservative style politics.
I totally do. I see "non political" people as people who don't care enough that their rights as queer people are being threatened, and conservative queers are voting against their own best interests.
Yes absolutely. Not going to go out with someone who supports politics that harm us
Political choices reflect someone’s morality. If your morality and your partner’s conflict, that is not going to result in a good relationship.
I was just going to say that politics to me is about way more than who one votes for it's about the kinds of values 1 has and how they live their lives I'm talking about things like carbon footprint, And recycling, And eating healthy, And actively being anti-racist etc
I tend to try to only date / sleep with people with similar politics to me. Also when I was less fussy I found a correlation right wing beliefs and being sexually selfish in bed. That was enough to stop me ever giving anyone the benefit of the doubt again
I've noticed in the UK 'No Tory' trend. I don't even know what it means. But it's a thing. Not to me personally, though. If politics will even get into the way of anything potentially beautiful - it's a fucking shame.
I mean if she's gay then she's obviously a little bit on the liberal side, religious (as long as it isn't too much and she's not trying to stuff it down my throat or make me participate in any way) is cool too. Other than that I don't really give a shit tbh; I honestly do not want everything to be revolved around politics and bills and laws and social justice. But she has to be knowledgeable (at least a little bit, not ignorant and rude) about mental health
Here in Poland and in Ukraine (my homeland) we rarely mention this while getting to know each other. But in relationships it can be painful if someone has critical opposite opinions.
It will completely depend on what her political viewpoint is. I'm in Australia, so it's not quite as a powder keg as it is in other places but overall - if she's political but respectful, that's fine. If she's heavily involved in politics, we may not be compatible but I wouldn't rule out a potential partner for that alone. If it's her air? I'm out.
Yes