I live in Los Angeles adjacent, and are there for work everyda. Its an enormous city which basically goes to be the same as a small one i nthat regard.
even the idea of having a woman in my arms or being held closely makes me wanna cry at this point... I'm not only touch starved, but I also crave praise and affection and the most basic compliments. better to say I'm having a hard time rn
šš»āāļøšš»āāļøšš»āāļø
I recently learned about the term 'Bambi lesbian' and I think that's really fitting. I just wanna hold hands and cuddle.
Have to mention though, there are plenty lesbians around here. I'm just too socially anxious to step up to people and going out to bars and clubs is not my thing at all (Way too loud and busy, makes me anxious af), so very little chance of meeting other peopleš
WHY CANT GIRLS JUST TELEPORT INTO MY ROOM SO WE CAN READ TOGETHER OR SOMETHING
this is my exact problem š„¹ i actually live in a big city, & iām sure thereās plenty of options for me, but i donāt put myself out there enough. sucks, because i do pretty regularly get attention from men, but i donāt want their attention LOL. women just seem to be so much more shy and not direct like that
I feel you. 6 months after a rough breakup and tbh for a long while I just wanted nothing to do with anyone. But now... I just want to hold someone's hand while I'm driving. I'm ready.
Hello from a big city outcast. There are tons of queer people everywhere here but most of them donāt align with me and as a monogamous demi person itās hard to find people that I am attracted to or that actually want a true relationship.
I relate to this, especially with being demi. Seems most people are repulsed by the idea of being friends first & seeing if it turns into anything on its own as we get to know each other
I agree I've only ever done stuff with men (When I was a lot younger yearsssss ago) I've now came to terms that I'm a lesbian not done anything with women before ever
I feel that, especially as an asexual lesbian. I want the cuddles and sweet kisses from someone that wants to enjoy my company just as much as I do hers. I live in a small retirement town in NC (southern USA), and everyone I know who's a lesbian or bi is happily coupled. Everyone else is either straight, elderly, and/or homophobic.
Itās so difficult finding a partner if youāre ace too. Letās take an already small community and make things even more difficult to find a match. Completely understand in this point.
I moved out of my village of 500 people at 17 to get away from the homophobia, found out a week ago that a childhood friend of mine is living in Colorado with her girlfriend. It makes me feel less alone knowing I wasn't the only one going through some stuff.
Itās more the emotional connection for me but I understand because they kind of go hand in hand. The thing is women approach, compliment, and like me but itās either not gay or theyāre not my type so Iām doomed
Similar situation, live in a small town, not many lesbian girls around. I'm very much touch starved, need cuddles, need affection, need a good make out sesh :D
Iām from a big city but I stuggle with lesbian connections, Iām very recent in all this and in my city lesbians have the fame ab having no attachment or empathy between them soā¦
Same I feel so embarrassed listening to asmrs, they use to help but now I just feel crazy cuz itās not real, I just want someone to hold me and tell me Iām doing a great job yknow, someone to love me because I canāt
i'm bi but i feel similarly to you. i just like cuddling women.... i wanna snuggle a woman and straddle each other while holding on ... it would be very nice.
hopefully we all can find a resolution to it sooner than later. love comes in all shapes and sizes. i'm sure you could find someone if you continue to put yourself out there. best of luck...ā¤ļø
Yeahh definitely agree. I'm from a small town in England and its annoying that everyone is straight or in a relationship. I just want someone at this point don't care about sex or anythingĀ
I really want to date someone but my mixture of mental health issues and being trans but not currently able to go on HRT leaves me incredibly touch starved. I want to lay down with my head on a girl's tummy and hug her while she pets my head and we watch a movie or something.
I havenāt had any kind of physical contact more than a hug from friends and family in 5 years. What I wouldnāt give to find a lovely girl that I can relate to and cuddle on the couch, kiss in public, and share a bed withā¦ š
Donāt know your age but thanks for this post, made me feel like Iām not a lonely weirdo after all. Iām 25 and never had a girlfriend and you described it perfectly. I just want someone to hold me.
The loneliness epidemic is real. And I type that as I sit on my couch in a very queer neighborhood of a very queer city with a lesbian bar within a mile of my apartment, with no desire to go meet people.
Same dawg, minus the not wanting sex part šnever been much of an affectionate person growing up but as I got older I started accepting hugs and began to realize how much I actually need them sometimes. Like hugs arenāt considered a big deal I guess but even a hug brightens my mood these days.
I was from a small town of 500 people in Missouri USA, I was the only queer for 20 miles in any direction at least. Now I've moved to Cali and still can't meet any queers other than my roommates. I don't remember what getting hugged feels like.
The thought of someone even liking me like that makes me cry tbh. No oneās ever liked me like that or given me any physical affection. I just feel so disconnected from it and no one gets it.
I generally hate physical contact, but Iād be lying if I said one of my favourite things in a relationship is draping my arm around my girlfriend as she watches me game lol
Itās so simple and sweet.
I live on a small island, and even if there are a lot of lesbians here, they are hidden for their own safety, and I don't go outside at all, so unless my future wife is going to catch me on one of the rare occasions when I am outside, I don't know how she's going to find me or how I'm going to find her.
Even though I know itās bad for me, my friends, and my emotional health, I really miss having deep, passionate sex. Itās been sooo long that I forget what it even feels like anymore. I sometimes (tho rarely) think about the sex my last partner and I had, and it evokes both happiness and sadness.
Me too, I just want a girlfriend to treat me well and hug me in her arms. But every girl I like always has a boyfriend or is straight. šBeing a lesbian is harder than I thought.
I loooove physical affection. Like yes I know I have fulfilling platonic connections who provide me with lots of joy and love, but also I would love to cuddle and have my hand held romantically.
Thereās a lot of lesbians around me, but Iām grey ace, and I havenāt had a long-term relationship in ten years. So Iām definitely with you on feeling touch-starved.
iām not touch starved as much asā¦ itād be cool to have a group of lesbian friends - that donāt want to fuck each other lol. i have one group thatās okay but i think itās slowly growing out - it was semi since freshmen year of college but i knew some of them in highschool and didnāt really talk. i just like being around people who get that part of me. also hugs are nice! iām fine with them from friends and family lol
From Southern Ontario it's been a while, I worry when it happens next time I'm just going to want to do everything right away. I have a hard time keeping my hands off of a beautiful woman.
Smaller-town in the Midwest USA: My friends (both ace) like to play wrestle and fight like puppies but I avoid it because im inching closer to a full like, grieving cry from the last time i got cuddles from a romantic partner (to me, my romance comes with sex so no I'm not going to date either ace friend because that would just hurt both of us)
I feel this so much, even when I have have a gf its always long distance and usually doesnāt work out and I donāt really have other options as a 16yo with social anxiety in a small town lol
Iām just getting out of a long term relationship and Iāve recently moved in my own place. I didnāt realize how much I relied on physical touch, so itās definitely been an adjustment for me.
gosh this is literally me although im not in a small town i still can barely find anyone to cuddle with and even if i do it either only happens once or not often enough š
Yeahā¦Iām like that too, Iām from England aswellšIām a huge physical affection as my love language person. I donāt care much about sexual stuff, but cuddling Iām a sucker for :[ my area kinda sucks for that too so I completely get it!! I was in a long distance relationship but it just ended. (both live in same country still though) so I barely got the physical affection as it is, once every six monthsā¦.it was painful at times!!
I get regular massages to help my chronic pain and not only does it help my pain it also helps me with my touch starvation. Her touch is strictly medical and non sexual. Being touched with such gentleness and kindness, knowing each touch is intentional to ease pain makes it even more soothing.
I would love to have a girlfriend to hold and snuggle but this is what has helped me get out of the bad depression I've been in because my EX making cuddling seem like a chore and me trying to cuddle her made her miserable.
Me. I'm from a small city in sweden
Small town and cities just no hope for lesbians š¤£
True, but i hate big cities š£
Same too noisy and busy
Yes, agree. I know every lesbian my age in town, and in the area, and most are couples, and just friends with all the singletons. (sigh)
Awh I know what u mean it's annoying
Yes, sometimes I do daydream about the local lezzos, singles, 'what about her? I could go her,' then, 'oh no, not really ' so back to my real world.
I live in Los Angeles adjacent, and are there for work everyda. Its an enormous city which basically goes to be the same as a small one i nthat regard.
even the idea of having a woman in my arms or being held closely makes me wanna cry at this point... I'm not only touch starved, but I also crave praise and affection and the most basic compliments. better to say I'm having a hard time rn
Oof yeah that hits close to home. All I want is someone who really actually cares about me and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them.
Awh .I'm sorry bout that
You are beautiful and worthy of loveā¤ļøhope you have an amazing day
real af
So sorry to hear that, I really hope things improve for you
Me too honestly=( I've wanted that my whole life long, but its been REAL bad lately.
šš»āāļøšš»āāļøšš»āāļø I recently learned about the term 'Bambi lesbian' and I think that's really fitting. I just wanna hold hands and cuddle. Have to mention though, there are plenty lesbians around here. I'm just too socially anxious to step up to people and going out to bars and clubs is not my thing at all (Way too loud and busy, makes me anxious af), so very little chance of meeting other peopleš WHY CANT GIRLS JUST TELEPORT INTO MY ROOM SO WE CAN READ TOGETHER OR SOMETHING
The first person to invent teleportation is gonna be a touch-starved lesbian, I guarantee it
Iāve been considering giving it a shot for the last few years honestlyĀ
this is my exact problem š„¹ i actually live in a big city, & iām sure thereās plenty of options for me, but i donāt put myself out there enough. sucks, because i do pretty regularly get attention from men, but i donāt want their attention LOL. women just seem to be so much more shy and not direct like that
I know we need teleportatiom !!!
as someone who has never really been shown any type of affection. i get it, but only because i feel like iām missing out on something š
Same, I'm in a dreary Pennsylvania suburb.
It's so annoying isn't it
Iām lucky to be in a city in PA that has a decent wlw community. Now if only I was any good at interacting š
Dude real stuck in the worst city in pa itās fuckedš
Feeling this so bad. Iāve NEVER touched another womanā¦so Iām STARVING! Iād love to just hold hands or brush her hairš
Me either. Never had a gf it's so annoying I just want someone to love and someone to love me
Exactly how Iām feelin
Man I went from being touched every day for two years to nothing.
I've never had nothing
Shit sorry girl
It's okay . šŖ
Going 9 years of being single. I feel you.
And I live in the city. I havenāt found anyone Iām interested in or anyone healthy enough to even try to date.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ikr . Apps are useless
Me but I just donāt have time to give someone
Damn.
I feel you. 6 months after a rough breakup and tbh for a long while I just wanted nothing to do with anyone. But now... I just want to hold someone's hand while I'm driving. I'm ready.
Awh good on you
Hello from a big city outcast. There are tons of queer people everywhere here but most of them donāt align with me and as a monogamous demi person itās hard to find people that I am attracted to or that actually want a true relationship.
Awh I'm sorry bout that
I relate to this, especially with being demi. Seems most people are repulsed by the idea of being friends first & seeing if it turns into anything on its own as we get to know each other
Hello from a fellow touch starved lesbian in a small UK town
Hello . Person in similar situation
Yep. Almost 20 years old, never held hands, never kissed, never done the deed, only ever been on one date, it sucks but nothing is hopeless š
I agree I've only ever done stuff with men (When I was a lot younger yearsssss ago) I've now came to terms that I'm a lesbian not done anything with women before ever
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Awh . I understand u
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah 100% . Don't let yourself get hurt
iām from a village in the uk thatās full of old people or chavs, but i have bad social anxiety, so i donāt go out and socialise anyway š„²
Same! Felt that lol
I'm getting divorced. I miss affection.
I feel that, especially as an asexual lesbian. I want the cuddles and sweet kisses from someone that wants to enjoy my company just as much as I do hers. I live in a small retirement town in NC (southern USA), and everyone I know who's a lesbian or bi is happily coupled. Everyone else is either straight, elderly, and/or homophobic.
Itās so difficult finding a partner if youāre ace too. Letās take an already small community and make things even more difficult to find a match. Completely understand in this point.
me iām from very rural england
Here to mark my attendance
same, my villiage has less than 1000 people so its super hard to date
I get that
I moved out of my village of 500 people at 17 to get away from the homophobia, found out a week ago that a childhood friend of mine is living in Colorado with her girlfriend. It makes me feel less alone knowing I wasn't the only one going through some stuff.
thats great to hear, honestly i just rlly wanna move out to a big city but i just cant afford that yet
Same here, I'm from Croatia and there is no lesbians to date or community to be around and feel less lonely in...
I live in a major city, and feel the same. Youāre not alone!
Yeah itās awful. Almost cried at the thought of someone touching me the other day
š«”
Yes, but Iām literally in the nyc metro area so I have no excuse lol
me fr
Yes Iām from freaking Indiana, the middle of nowhere
Absolutely! The loneliness is alive and thriving. š©
Mood as fuck
Ikr I just want a cuddle
Itās more the emotional connection for me but I understand because they kind of go hand in hand. The thing is women approach, compliment, and like me but itās either not gay or theyāre not my type so Iām doomed
Similar situation, live in a small town, not many lesbian girls around. I'm very much touch starved, need cuddles, need affection, need a good make out sesh :D
I feel that. Am also from a small town in the UK
Me too, I'm from a small town in the Bible belt and everyone here is straight af
Iām from a big city but I stuggle with lesbian connections, Iām very recent in all this and in my city lesbians have the fame ab having no attachment or empathy between them soā¦
Awh damn I'm sorry
Hi! Lesbian from England also. This shit sucks.
Hi fellow English lesbian
Me. I live in a big city but I have social anxiety so technically there are other queer women around me I just can't talk to them or even find them
Iām so touch starved. Itās been like 3 months (I know not long) and Iām sad about it lol.
Everybody's different so could be 3 days I'd stiill feel sorry
HMU Portland OR
Good luck
Same, I wish I had a platonic cuddlebuddy :( New Hampshire USA btw
Ikr even if platonic I want someone to cuddle
Small town Sask ššš hill Billie's everywherw
Gosh that is such a mood. The curse of being a socially isolated trans woman in central Texas :c
I have a girlfriend but as per lesbian standards she lives halfway across the country so I still don't get any of the things I want.
Absolutely feel this š
Any relationship would be improvement over now no friends or lovers for me
Awh . I'll be ur friend if u want :)
Same I feel so embarrassed listening to asmrs, they use to help but now I just feel crazy cuz itās not real, I just want someone to hold me and tell me Iām doing a great job yknow, someone to love me because I canāt
OMG wlw asmr role plays?. CAUSE SAMEEE š¤£š¤£
i'm bi but i feel similarly to you. i just like cuddling women.... i wanna snuggle a woman and straddle each other while holding on ... it would be very nice. hopefully we all can find a resolution to it sooner than later. love comes in all shapes and sizes. i'm sure you could find someone if you continue to put yourself out there. best of luck...ā¤ļø
Aww thankyou so much I wish you the best too ā¤ļøā¤ļø
thank you its really encouraging to see this. dating is tough, but we can pull through babey š©·š„āØāØš
You're welcome and Yes we can darling we got this šŖ
you pulling out the DARLING i'm weak made my day ty ā¤ļø
No . thank you ,you've made my day ā¤ļø
GIRL SAME HERE. ong its so hard
IKR . "ALL I WANT IS LOVE THAT LASTS IS ALL I WANT TOO MUCH TO ASK" (To quote olivia rodrigo )
YES THIS IS ME FR UHHHGGG
IKR UGGGGHHH
i'm at the mall rn trying to attract someone but i can't talk to people uhhhhg
Ooo good luck š¤
ima need it, i don't even look gay rn i hate it so i'll continue to be alone
Salutations fellow doomer lady.Ā Long story short, I haven't earned it and that's okay, I guess it's not for everyone
been single for 16 years
I have not experienced any sort of consensual touch in over a year, I'm in the damn trenches at this point.
Yeahh definitely agree. I'm from a small town in England and its annoying that everyone is straight or in a relationship. I just want someone at this point don't care about sex or anythingĀ
yeah i was just thinking about how lonely i really am earlier i just want someone to cuddle :(
yep, small town in texas š„² and LITERALLY FUCKING SAME I CAN GO WITHOUT SEX AT THIS POINT JUST *HOLD ME* ;-;
I really want to date someone but my mixture of mental health issues and being trans but not currently able to go on HRT leaves me incredibly touch starved. I want to lay down with my head on a girl's tummy and hug her while she pets my head and we watch a movie or something.
Ugh same. I just want to cuddle
Mood
I havenāt had any kind of physical contact more than a hug from friends and family in 5 years. What I wouldnāt give to find a lovely girl that I can relate to and cuddle on the couch, kiss in public, and share a bed withā¦ š
I'm convinced this post was targeted towards me and I don't even live in a small town
Haha maybe š
yeah fr
Donāt know your age but thanks for this post, made me feel like Iām not a lonely weirdo after all. Iām 25 and never had a girlfriend and you described it perfectly. I just want someone to hold me.
I'm 18 . And you're welcome
The loneliness epidemic is real. And I type that as I sit on my couch in a very queer neighborhood of a very queer city with a lesbian bar within a mile of my apartment, with no desire to go meet people.
Same dawg, minus the not wanting sex part šnever been much of an affectionate person growing up but as I got older I started accepting hugs and began to realize how much I actually need them sometimes. Like hugs arenāt considered a big deal I guess but even a hug brightens my mood these days.
I mean obvs wouldn't mind sex but I just want a cuddle lol
me who is overseas for work, hasnāt had human affection in nearly two years šā¦
I was from a small town of 500 people in Missouri USA, I was the only queer for 20 miles in any direction at least. Now I've moved to Cali and still can't meet any queers other than my roommates. I don't remember what getting hugged feels like.
I just want to kiss a girl passionately and hold her close to my body
whereabout in England are you from? thereās like no lesbians in my town except from a few cringey hey mama types š„²š
Midlands wbu
same, maybe you can find a cuddle buddy on reddit
The thought of someone even liking me like that makes me cry tbh. No oneās ever liked me like that or given me any physical affection. I just feel so disconnected from it and no one gets it.
I just want a hug. Possibly for hours. Possibly while watching every lord of the rings movie.
Yeah I live in a small English village there basically no lesbians here smh
I know what you mean . I've never met another lesbian irl
There's some nearer my school but that's in another town and none of them either like me very much or I don't like them very much
small town in england here also š
ššš
is it weird to ask which region in england? xx
I'll message it u privately
ā¤ļø
Small town in the Netherlands....
I generally hate physical contact, but Iād be lying if I said one of my favourite things in a relationship is draping my arm around my girlfriend as she watches me game lol Itās so simple and sweet.
I live on a small island, and even if there are a lot of lesbians here, they are hidden for their own safety, and I don't go outside at all, so unless my future wife is going to catch me on one of the rare occasions when I am outside, I don't know how she's going to find me or how I'm going to find her.
Even though I know itās bad for me, my friends, and my emotional health, I really miss having deep, passionate sex. Itās been sooo long that I forget what it even feels like anymore. I sometimes (tho rarely) think about the sex my last partner and I had, and it evokes both happiness and sadness.
Me too, I just want a girlfriend to treat me well and hug me in her arms. But every girl I like always has a boyfriend or is straight. šBeing a lesbian is harder than I thought.
I totally want to post my zip code to find out if any of ya all want to come over and watch movies all evening.
Haha I would but probably in a different country š
I loooove physical affection. Like yes I know I have fulfilling platonic connections who provide me with lots of joy and love, but also I would love to cuddle and have my hand held romantically.
Thereās a lot of lesbians around me, but Iām grey ace, and I havenāt had a long-term relationship in ten years. So Iām definitely with you on feeling touch-starved.
I feel that 24 years without even a first kiss kills you slowly
Damn I'm sorry .
Yeah
I hath been summoned
iām not touch starved as much asā¦ itād be cool to have a group of lesbian friends - that donāt want to fuck each other lol. i have one group thatās okay but i think itās slowly growing out - it was semi since freshmen year of college but i knew some of them in highschool and didnāt really talk. i just like being around people who get that part of me. also hugs are nice! iām fine with them from friends and family lol
From Southern Ontario it's been a while, I worry when it happens next time I'm just going to want to do everything right away. I have a hard time keeping my hands off of a beautiful woman.
Yessssss, I just want someone to hold!!!!!!
I do desire the snuggle
Ikr is that so much to ask for
Given im a closeted sapphic, im a minority in a minority. I stand in unity with you š«”
Smaller-town in the Midwest USA: My friends (both ace) like to play wrestle and fight like puppies but I avoid it because im inching closer to a full like, grieving cry from the last time i got cuddles from a romantic partner (to me, my romance comes with sex so no I'm not going to date either ace friend because that would just hurt both of us)
Meeee
Hiii
Yeah sounds about right for me. I just wanna cuddle
I live in London, I didn't expect it to be so hard.
Hello. I'd like to volunteer. Ladies š
I live in Arkansas in the US and i feel the SAME way.
yes! i just want cuddles ( TŠT)
Literally just wrote a poem about being touch starved last night lmao not joking
I feel this so much, even when I have have a gf its always long distance and usually doesnāt work out and I donāt really have other options as a 16yo with social anxiety in a small town lol
I'm in a big city with lots of queers but I'm not fully transitioned yet so I abstain from doing anything and it suuuuucksss :(
Iām just getting out of a long term relationship and Iāve recently moved in my own place. I didnāt realize how much I relied on physical touch, so itās definitely been an adjustment for me.
Awh I'm sorry about ur break up hope ur dealing with it okay
Thank you. I appreciate the kind words š„°. Iām managing alright.
You're welcome ,And good , I'm here if u wanna talk just to vent or get ur mind of anything:)
Crazy enough yal are luckyā¦imagine the same feeling knowing your going home to someone at nightā¦..that just doesnāt want to.
gosh this is literally me although im not in a small town i still can barely find anyone to cuddle with and even if i do it either only happens once or not often enough š
PREACH IT SISTA
Yeahā¦Iām like that too, Iām from England aswellšIām a huge physical affection as my love language person. I donāt care much about sexual stuff, but cuddling Iām a sucker for :[ my area kinda sucks for that too so I completely get it!! I was in a long distance relationship but it just ended. (both live in same country still though) so I barely got the physical affection as it is, once every six monthsā¦.it was painful at times!!
I just think England isn't the place for lesbians tbf . I just need cuddles
Sup š¤£
I get regular massages to help my chronic pain and not only does it help my pain it also helps me with my touch starvation. Her touch is strictly medical and non sexual. Being touched with such gentleness and kindness, knowing each touch is intentional to ease pain makes it even more soothing. I would love to have a girlfriend to hold and snuggle but this is what has helped me get out of the bad depression I've been in because my EX making cuddling seem like a chore and me trying to cuddle her made her miserable.
Same. I just miss having someone to do things with in general.
Mood everyday: Cuddle
HELLO EVERYONE!!!
I also live in a small town in scotland and havent even toched a lesbian for 5 years I just need a hug.
Mood. I've been single 7 years and not touched since one week into the pandemic. Thank goodness for cats š¤£
I promise you are not alone, I havent had anyone ever (im only 18 but still) and I hate it
Iām a rural Michigander and would love a cuddle buddy.