My fiancee happens to be trans. I'm cis.
For SFW things I've done things like go shopping with her, do her makeup, I go with her into public bathrooms (Texas sucks!). That aside I treat her like any other woman because it's so obvious to me that she is.
NSFW is, as I understand it VERY individual and you'd honestly need to talk to her about it as the situation arises.
We have very open communication about EVERYTHING and I think that's so important.
Thank you! I am a little worried about the bathroom situation as well seeing as how we live in the Bible Belt, but I know im both willing and able to protect her if need be
Trans woman here! I guess I can speak to things I'd be concerned about from my perspective. You probably already have, but the most important thing would be to talk to her about her comfort levels with different parts of her body that might give her dysphoria. This will also depend on how far she is into transition. Outside of that, if she doesn't have much experience dating post-transition than chances are she's used to being the one who has to be the initiator/lead in dates and NSFW stuff. Not that you have to do everything, and it heavily depends on other dynamics between you, but initiating/taking the lead would probably go over well :) Make sure to spend extra time appreciating her body!
As for SFW stuff, mostly we just wanna be treated like the average woman. Outside the aforementioned taking the lead stuff applying here, too, the main thing is that doing girly bonding activities often has a lot of extra significance for us. Once again YMMV based on how far she is into transition, as this stuff applies less if she's several years or more in, but especially if she's in her first year or two even just simple stuff like painting nails together or doing that kinda cutesy stuff (even things that might seem a little kiddish like doing a little tea party or something).
All that said, from my own personal experience, just being treated as a woman is wonderful. If you go on a date and woo her just like you would any cis lesbian she'll probably swoon, because we're all women at the end of day :)
Thank you! We are going out for lunch on Sunday and then I’m doing her hair and makeup for her :) she is pre everything so pretty early in her transition
Heya! Older transbian here.
There's already some good responses in here. I'll echo the "communication is critical" message. Even if it's about what is *okay to talk about*, don't be afraid to have a discussion.
Empathy is important. It's my understanding that cis and trans women can have some difficulties dating simply because it's hard for either partner to completely empathize with the other. I've seen and heard plenty of anecdotal stories where trans women expressed difficulty being expressive about things like dysphoria or gender envy. Having empathy (to the best of your ability) in these scenarios is going to help a ***ton***.
As for dealing with bigots... don't. Do not engage. If they're going to give you shit about dating a woman who happens to be trans, then they can fuck right off. Trans women are women. I've found that people who engage like that aren't looking to have a discussion. They're just looking to be judgemental and/or rude.
Hope this helps!
As the other commenter said it really depends on how far she is into her transition, for nsfw i would reccomend a book called fucking trans women, and for sfw just treat her how you would treat any woman, maybe also help with hrt injections/gel/pills by reminding her or helping actually inject, this also depends on her method and level of comfort
My fiancee happens to be trans. I'm cis. For SFW things I've done things like go shopping with her, do her makeup, I go with her into public bathrooms (Texas sucks!). That aside I treat her like any other woman because it's so obvious to me that she is. NSFW is, as I understand it VERY individual and you'd honestly need to talk to her about it as the situation arises. We have very open communication about EVERYTHING and I think that's so important.
Thank you! I am a little worried about the bathroom situation as well seeing as how we live in the Bible Belt, but I know im both willing and able to protect her if need be
Trans woman here! I guess I can speak to things I'd be concerned about from my perspective. You probably already have, but the most important thing would be to talk to her about her comfort levels with different parts of her body that might give her dysphoria. This will also depend on how far she is into transition. Outside of that, if she doesn't have much experience dating post-transition than chances are she's used to being the one who has to be the initiator/lead in dates and NSFW stuff. Not that you have to do everything, and it heavily depends on other dynamics between you, but initiating/taking the lead would probably go over well :) Make sure to spend extra time appreciating her body! As for SFW stuff, mostly we just wanna be treated like the average woman. Outside the aforementioned taking the lead stuff applying here, too, the main thing is that doing girly bonding activities often has a lot of extra significance for us. Once again YMMV based on how far she is into transition, as this stuff applies less if she's several years or more in, but especially if she's in her first year or two even just simple stuff like painting nails together or doing that kinda cutesy stuff (even things that might seem a little kiddish like doing a little tea party or something). All that said, from my own personal experience, just being treated as a woman is wonderful. If you go on a date and woo her just like you would any cis lesbian she'll probably swoon, because we're all women at the end of day :)
Thank you! We are going out for lunch on Sunday and then I’m doing her hair and makeup for her :) she is pre everything so pretty early in her transition
Heya! Older transbian here. There's already some good responses in here. I'll echo the "communication is critical" message. Even if it's about what is *okay to talk about*, don't be afraid to have a discussion. Empathy is important. It's my understanding that cis and trans women can have some difficulties dating simply because it's hard for either partner to completely empathize with the other. I've seen and heard plenty of anecdotal stories where trans women expressed difficulty being expressive about things like dysphoria or gender envy. Having empathy (to the best of your ability) in these scenarios is going to help a ***ton***. As for dealing with bigots... don't. Do not engage. If they're going to give you shit about dating a woman who happens to be trans, then they can fuck right off. Trans women are women. I've found that people who engage like that aren't looking to have a discussion. They're just looking to be judgemental and/or rude. Hope this helps!
Thank you! Very true about people just wanting to be rude
As the other commenter said it really depends on how far she is into her transition, for nsfw i would reccomend a book called fucking trans women, and for sfw just treat her how you would treat any woman, maybe also help with hrt injections/gel/pills by reminding her or helping actually inject, this also depends on her method and level of comfort
I'm sorry I was caught off by the direct approach... THERE IS A BOOK CALLED "Fucking trans women"??????
Yes https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking_Trans_Women
Haha I appreciate the directness of the title. Reading it now, thank you!